October 23, 2025 • 64 mins
A single attic photo turned a quiet family life into a reckoning. When Christina found evidence that her grandfather once wore the Klan’s robe, she had to decide whether to stay silent or ask hard questions at the Sunday table. What followed was anger, distance, and a deeper look at how prejudice hides behind “tradition,” how control dresses up as care, and why love gets stronger the moment you stop protecting lies.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (02:21):
Well, you're in his mind, a man that is admired,
fun, compassionate,understanding, and very
sarcastic.
Hey, that's who he is.
The advice can either be good ormisunderstood, but he does
become experienced.
So step back, listen up, followup, and let's talk.
SPEAKER_03 (04:34):
Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Give me just a second, we're gonna get this
thing started.
(05:12):
How's everybody doing out there?
Well, here we are again.
I am the icon.
I want to welcome you to theshow.
Let's talk about it.
Today we have kind of a lettercoming from a young lady who is
(05:33):
uh currently struggling with uhsome family issues that she may
have had, well, that she mayhave come into, and that she's
just trying to figure out howshe wants to deal with it.
So this episode might run alittle bit longer than expected,
but in any event, we're gonnaget through it and we're gonna
try to help her out the best waywe can.
(05:54):
So I want to thank you guys fortuning in to the show.
Uh, I want to thank mysupporters, my listeners, for
listening to the show.
So, without further ado, we'reabout to get into it.
Oh god, I love to vape.
I think that's like the bestthing ever since cigarettes.
(06:16):
I mean, cigarettes were goodbecause you know I would smoke
so much, but since vaping camealong, voila, vaping.
In any event, this letter that Ireceived from Miss Christina is
uh she's a small town girl,she's coming from Nebraska.
(06:38):
So, without further ado, this uhpodcast is entitled Very Bad
Secrets in My Family.
So, here we go.
Icon, my name is Christina.
I am from a small town inNebraska, but I have since moved
away after I graduated.
I'm currently living in NewMexico, I'm happily married with
(06:59):
one daughter who is one yearold.
So I need your advice or helpwith something that has been
plaguing me that has to dealwith my family, particularly my
dad and my grandfather.
I must warn you that what I'mabout to say, I want my dad and
grandfather to hear, so pleaseemail me when the show is live,
and so I can download it and wecan listen to it.
(07:21):
Or I will send it to my dadbecause I'm so disappointed in
him right now that ourrelationship has been strained
because I found out mygrandfather was a member of the
KKK.
Yes, the KKK.
So for you, for those listenerswho don't know what the KKK is,
it is uh the Klu Klux Klan.
They are a racist organizationwho is still living and breeding
(07:42):
in certain parts of the area orthe US or wherever the hell
they're from.
Um this really took me bysurprise.
And now that I'm older, somethings make sense to me now when
it comes to my grandfather andmaybe my dad, but here goes.
I was visiting my grandpa andhelping him clean out his attic,
(08:02):
and upon cleaning out, I cameacross some photos of him
wearing a white robe with acone-shaped hat, and I thought
it was a Halloween costume.
Yeah, I I can see how that wouldunderstand that.
So I didn't think anything of ituntil we were shown a video in
school in history class, andthat what had to do, and I had
we had to do an assignment aboutracism and the history of where
(08:23):
and why it began.
Needless to say, I was soshocked to learn that someone in
my family was a member of thishate group.
My stomach dropped, I criedknowing that someone in your
family was tied to such apathetic group of men, because I
didn't see any women in there.
Icon, my life and world hadcompletely changed because I
(08:44):
love my grandpa and I'm verymuch a daddy's girl.
At one point we were so close,but now not so much.
So after I did the assignment, Ireceived an A.
And after I showed my parents, Idecided to ask my father and
grandfather that Sunday atsupper because every Sunday we
have family dinner after churchat home.
By the way, I was a sophomore atthe time when this all happened.
(09:06):
When I asked my grandpa aboutthe history of the KKK, I don't
know if he was just playing dumbor his old age was just setting
in.
But I asked my dad, as well asimmediately he got upset.
And I get the feeling thateither he knew or he didn't
know, but I needed answers.
And I wanted my father andgrandpa, and I wanted to know
(09:27):
wait, I wanted to know if myfather and grandpa had a hand in
this despicable group.
My grandpa said he didn't wantto talk about it, and my dad
said drop in.
And I had no business askingsuch a ridiculous question.
Needless to say, I think Iruined my family dentist for
Sunday because things haven'tbeen the same.
(09:48):
And I know that this is such ahard thing to find out.
Weeks later, my father, whichhas spoken to me since hasn't
spoken to me since the incident,came to me and asked why I asked
the question.
I told him I found an old photoof grandpa and a white robe with
a cross on it.
And my dad said that I shouldn'thave did what I did and said
(10:11):
what I did what I did.
And I said, why not?
I would never have known this ifI didn't have to help grandpa
clean his attic.
I asked my dad, was he a racist?
And he said, What?
No.
Then I asked, you know, oddquestion.
Then I asked why he doesn't haveblack friends.
(10:32):
He said he does at work.
So I said, Well, it's a problemif I dated a black boy.
He said yes, because I don'tbelieve in race mixing.
We should say with our own kind.
Oh, here we go.
And I casually said, but dad,this is a definition of a
racist.
We argued, so my mom came in andtold us both to shut the hell
(10:53):
up.
So I asked my mom the samequestion, and she said, I could
love and date whoever I wanted.
I could tell my dad was mad, buthe didn't want to ever cross his
uh cross his wife.
Well, yeah, I get that, youknow.
You know, mothers are alwaysalways the neutral party in a
relationship.
And man, sometimes I miss mywife.
(11:13):
Uh two more weeks went by.
My grandpa wanted to speak withme, so I went to visit him.
He explained to me that this wasa dark time in his life and that
he didn't really know how he wassupposed to live, but he
followed this group because hedidn't have friends.
And so and though he thoughtthat it was right, he just
stayed with it.
Grandpa admitted that he wascompletely a racist and he
(11:36):
didn't really like black people.
And he said colored, but we allknow where that's going.
Because he said that they'redestructive, abusive, rude, and
thought that they should just goback to where they came from.
I'm still trying to figure outwhere the hell did they come
from.
I was heartbroken.
I cried, and he said it's okaybecause you're safe.
You're white, that meanssomething.
I told grandpa I never wanted tosee him again.
(11:57):
And he said, one day you willunderstand.
Ew boy.
Can imagine being the fly onthat wall, right?
I said, that's the day you willnever.
I said that I said that this isthe day you will never see.
I left home, told my parentswhat had happened.
My mom was very supportive, butI can tell my dad felt almost
(12:19):
the same way as his dad.
But remember, my dad said he hasblack friends, and my mind he
wanted to call him, I wanted tocall him a liar.
But I was just tired of it.
Icon.
We have a black uh we have blackpeople in our community, our
school.
Probably not a lot because I'mfrom a small town.
So we don't see much action,meaning everyone knows somebody,
(12:42):
and we are just in a goodcommunity.
That's a good thing, you know.
Living in a small community cansometimes be good, sometimes it
can be bad.
But small towns, usuallyeverybody knows somebody.
Uh, small town living is eh,it's okay, because you know
everybody, and yeah, whatever.
In any event, um, here'ssomething that is interesting,
(13:06):
that is an interesting thought.
My junior year.
Wait, here is something that isinteresting.
Throughout my junior year, and avery small part of my senior
year, I dated a white guy who Ithought was a great guy.
I really liked him, but it turnsout he was not only verbally
abusive, but he was alsophysically abusive.
I'm not even sure where helearned it from because I've met
(13:28):
his parents.
They seemed to have a greatmarriage, and his home was very
stable.
The abuse was so bad, I wasafraid of him.
And I didn't even tell myparents at that point that if I
had bruises, I would say theywere from gym class for playing
soccer.
His name was Jacob.
He was a jock, played mostlyfootball, though he was though
(13:48):
though he was the shit.
But was average like me, but hada temper over the stupidest
things I couldn't even talk toother boys unless he was there
with me.
His dumbass sister was a spy,but at the same time, she is a
sophomore.
That's bad when you have thesister involved because clearly
something's going on.
(14:09):
One day he beat me up so bad Ididn't want to go to school.
My mom knew something was wrongbecause she put her hand on my
back and I jumped in pain.
I broke down, I showed her, shelost it.
She called my dad to come home.
I was free to detail.
Let's just say my mom handledlike a boss.
Yeah, you know, most moms do.
You know, most moms are just, ohlord, they're gangsters.
Moms are gangsters.
(14:32):
Fast forward, after school, Iwas free from the abuse.
I moved to New Mexico, where Imet my husband, a man I fell in
love with.
He is everything to me, treatsme like a queen.
I work in real estate, he hashis own restaurant.
That is amazing.
That is where I met Mr.
Jonta.
Jonta J.
That's his name, Jonta J.
(14:52):
Nice name by the way.
I use that anyways, um, Icon.
He's a black man that I love andthat I cherish, and he feels the
same about me.
It's been six years since Igreened since I seen my grandpa.
But my mom and dad said he'salways asked about me and wants
to see me, but I'm not comingalone.
So I have planned a trip to goback home, but I need your
advice on how to handle this orhow you think I should handle
(15:16):
this.
So I didn't do this episodeuntil I got the results from
Christina because I thinkthere's kind of like two parts
to this um episode.
So what she's dealing with is afamily secret that is a dark
secret, and that you know, she'sjust trying to figure out how
she needs to handle it.
(15:38):
And I can say I do and I don'tget it, but I've been here
before.
Um I felt kind of bad becausesometimes when you find out a
secret as dark as that, andknowing that your people were
part of the uh racistorganization called the KKK, and
then also telling you thatyou're safe because you're
white, um, you know, in this dayand age, that shit don't fly
(16:00):
over no more.
It's a different new worldorder.
Um, sorry about that, that's thephone.
Any event, um when we find outsomething dark about our
parents, sometimes kids canunderstand it, and then they can
(16:24):
when you're young, you thinkyou're taught that what they're
doing is the right thing untilwe get older and that we're able
to understand things that are uhthat we thought made sense to
us, but really doesn't makesense to us.
So while our parents are tellingus that you know this was the
way back in our day, this iswhat we had to do, not
(16:45):
necessarily.
Um, the KKK is a racistorganization group.
I've had the dealings with themwhen I moved to Alabama.
It was my first encounter with aum, I don't know if he was a
grand wizard, I don't know whatthe hell he was, but clearly um
their logic and their lifestyleis not depicting who they were
as people, and to be filled withso much hate, which is
(17:09):
ridiculous.
And I know that in this damnworld we keep experiencing that,
and we keep you know, somepeople have that kind of um
what's the word I'm looking for?
Have that kind of aura, notreally aura, but you can always
tell their true colors when theyget mad, especially when they
see a black person.
Now, listen, I have not um Ihave not been too much since
(17:39):
where I live now, but when I wasliving in Mobile, Alabama, I
couldn't say I experienced a lotof racism, but let's just say I
experienced some.
Um, because race mixing in someparts of this world, some
country uh some countries, notsome countries, um, some
communities kind of condemn.
I don't know why.
I don't get it, um, but it'swhat it is.
(18:03):
Give me just a second here.
Got a text remote.
But sorry about that.
Okay, so and here's the thing,what parents fear the most and
(18:26):
that you tried to instill inyour kids, eventually, as they
get older, they will navigatetoo.
So while this young lady, Ithink, did the respectful thing
by honoring her parents bydating a white guy, which the
guy turned out to be not onlyverbally but physically abusive,
to a point where she had gottenharmed.
And I can imagine what the momprobably did or said because I
(18:50):
have daughters, and if anybodyputs their hands on my daughter,
you best believe um somebodygonna be pushing up daisies by
dawn, real talk.
So I think in any is anysituation, it doesn't matter.
A man should have should nothave the right to put his hands
on a woman unless he isphysically defending himself,
and I'm not saying that I'm onlysaying that if a woman is
(19:14):
putting herself in thatpredicament where she just keeps
slugging her man and hitting herman, at some point you gotta
say, hey, and I'm not evensaying you need to injure her or
nothing like that.
But that's not what this letteris about.
I'm just saying, as a man, Idon't really condone hitting a
female at all, unless you'redefending yourself.
I mean, if she hit you once,that's probably a pass.
(19:34):
Twice, uh, we're kind of on theedge of teetering there.
Third time, yeah, we something'sabout to happen, but I don't
condone any violence againstwomen.
I don't, I don't, so um, MissChristina.
I know that you know you findingout difficult things about your
family kind of put your familyin an uproar.
(19:55):
And I mean, you said thishappened when you were in high
school, so I don't really knowwhat your age was, but um, I'm
assuming that this happenedrecently, and like you graduated
recently, or well, you said itwas six years ago, and that
you're on the verge of goingback home to visit your parents
or visit your people.
Um I think that um you canaddress this directly, speaking
(20:19):
calmly in a direct moment.
Um, you want answers, I get it,but sometimes when you get the
answer that you want, it doesn'treally always go the way it
seems.
There's no really justificationfor why this young man did what
he did.
But I can tell you this back inthose days, um, to order to fit
(20:40):
in or to do something, somepeople did go along with it.
And we hear this a lot.
We hear a lot of people in thisday and age kind of grow up with
regret of what they did and howthey did it in reference to um
black folks or any other race,you know.
Racism, some say racism istaught, and in this case, the
(21:02):
grandfather and the father,which I guess he's seen what his
dad was doing, and kind ofmimicked mimicked it instead of
growing his own personalidentity and saying, Dad, this
is wrong, um, I'm not going tofollow your footsteps or follow
your lead.
He kind of just navigated to it,and it doesn't matter if you're
in a small town, it doesn'tmatter um that uh what they're
(21:27):
doing you feel is right.
If you know it's wrong, don't doit.
If you think it's wrong, don'tdo it.
The thing is about today versusback in our day, today there's a
lot more boldness among um alongamong parents and their kids.
If their kids see something thatis not right, they call their
(21:48):
parents out on it.
And most of them do it in arespectful way.
So we see that time and timeagain that when a parent uh when
a child finds out that theirparent is racing, races, they
immediately call them out on it.
I mean, we see that now withthis whole administration.
You know, you have familiesturning against family because
of one man who thinks he's justthe shit and he thinks he's God,
(22:09):
and you have families that areliterally splitting up over this
one guy, which is sad because tome, there's no kind of um
there's no kind of um oh man,well, I'm losing my words today.
There's no kind of reunion forfamily like that.
I mean, it's it's to some peoplethey consider it to be broken
(22:31):
when they found out that youvoted for this guy, and then
you're like, wait, what?
This guy did this, this guy didthis, it's sort of like what
Miss Christina went through withher grandfather.
You know, you would have neverknown had you not cleaned out
grandpa's attic.
And I think your mom, which isan amazing person, um, which is
ultimately the neutral party,kind of set you straight and
said, Well, not really set youstraight, but kind of is on the
(22:54):
side of both sides, but nottrying to offend her husband,
but wants to make sure thatyou're happy as a person.
Because as we get older, yourparents can't really control who
you date.
After you reach a certain age ofadulthood, it is your life, it
is your decision.
Now, we understand that parentswant to control every aspect of
their child's life.
And why?
I have no idea.
(23:14):
I don't.
I have seven kids, I want themto be independently on who they
are.
I don't want to control and saywho you can and who you can't
date.
I don't own my kids.
I created them.
I don't own them, I didn't buythem, I created them.
I created them, they're anextension of me, they are my
legacy.
And my legacy is I want them tobe happy, I want them to be who
(23:37):
they're going to be.
It doesn't matter who they love,it doesn't matter if they're
gay, straight, bi, whatever.
I am a parent, as a parent willtalk to my kids and let them
know that hey, either this isright or this is wrong.
So, but that's up to them tofollow that.
Now, if I know they're doingsomething wrong, if I know
(24:01):
they're doing something wrong,then I will try to correct that.
But nine times out of ten, theywill listen and then they will
proceed on how they can proceedon.
But I would never try to controlmy kids and say, Well, you can
date this person, or no, youneed to stay with your own race.
I don't understand what astaying with your own race
means.
Love is love.
(24:22):
We are in a new world, adifferent world.
And let's not and let's beclear.
Race mixing happened long, long,long ago before this shit ever
got blown up to what it istoday.
So you had what is that?
Jefferson Jefferson Jackson?
I don't know.
Andrew Jackson, okay, AndrewJackson, who clearly, who
clearly loved his slaves a lotmore than what he should have.
(24:44):
I mean, for Christ's sake, theyhad kids.
So race mixing is nothing new,you know.
People like when they see that,it is like, oh my god, it's the
worst thing ever.
It is not the worst thing ever.
I read in this letter that yourgrandfather said that black
folks are rude, um, they'reabusive, and they are just
(25:05):
downright mean people.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Let me see if I can find that.
Uh here somewhere.
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
So um they're rude and abusive and destructive.
We're not destructive.
Now, you can't lump us inbecause of one person's bad
actions.
So basically say if you have onebad apple, they're the rest of
the the rest of the bag is full.
That's not the way this shitworks.
(25:34):
It doesn't.
Because there are some black menout there who are genuinely,
genuinely caring, and that'smaybe uh I want to say that's
maybe two or five percent of theblack race.
Yeah, you have some that arerude, and I don't know who you
met that that you know was rudein there.
Maybe that's just because you'retaking on what you see on TV or
(25:57):
what you think is bad, but notall black folks are like that,
and that's the problem is whenwe see one racist person, we
don't assume that they're allracist, we only assume that that
one person that is doing thespeaking or running their damn
mouth, that that's the personwho is the heck who is the
issue.
I'm not going to take one personand make them bad for the whole
that's like police, you know.
(26:18):
This one thing was one incidentwith the police.
Um, now granted, Rodney King.
That if you guys don't know whathappened to Rodney King, go look
that up.
With Rodney King, there was aslew of them.
But let's not let's be clear.
There are black folks that areracist towards their own people.
I in particular am not likethat.
Now, I don't agree with some ofwhat some of the black culture
(26:40):
does in reference to postingvideos of fights and you know
doing stupid shit, but let's notbe let's be clear.
They're not the only racistdoing that, you know.
We have uh white folks doingthat, we have Hispanics or any
other race doing that.
So we're not all lumped togetheras far as you know, oh, the
black race is just a bad race.
No, we're not.
SPEAKER_03 (27:00):
We're not.
SPEAKER_02 (27:01):
We thrive in in this day and age, and that the truth
is finally coming to light thatblack folks have succeeded, far
more succeeded than white folks.
Now, don't get me wrong, whitefolks have been here in this
country for generations ormillennia or whatever, but our
very existence puts them wherethey are today, and we've
(27:23):
created things, we've donethings.
So I think saying that all blackmen are rude, destructive,
abusive, and rude, uh, we're notall like that.
And I would challenge yourgrandfather to get out and try
to, you know, meet some peopleor do something with people and
try to um understand the cultureinstead of just passing judgment
(27:44):
on the culture.
As I live and breathe, I seethings every day.
And it's not a black and whiteissue, it is a personality
issue.
When I see people either tearingthings up or robbing people or
killing people, I don't think tomyself, oh my god, it's another
black guy.
SPEAKER_03 (28:01):
No, I don't.
SPEAKER_02 (28:02):
It's not a scorekeeping thing, it's bad
people with bad intentions isbasically what it is.
So I think grandpa, you're wrongon this.
And I'm not sure what happenedin your life where you thought
that where you thought that thiswas the way to go.
(28:25):
And the fact that you told yourum granddaughter that she is
safe because she's white isridiculous.
Thank God that yourgranddaughter has sense enough
to know and separate um separatefact from fiction and understand
that I want to be like everybodyelse.
This isn't me.
And they say racism is taught.
(28:46):
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
But if it's taught, it's taughtat a very young age.
And when it's taught at a veryyoung age, the sad thing is that
when these kids get older, um,they start, like I said,
realizing and understanding likethis can be right.
And then, like I said, theynavigate to the thing you hate
the most.
You didn't want yourgranddaughter to date a black
(29:07):
guy.
Well, she tried it your way.
It didn't work out your way.
It didn't work out so well atall.
So when she tried it her way,your way, she got beat by who?
A white guy.
Okay?
So, experiment with the bullshitand messing with that shit.
But as I said, dealing withthis, Christina, with your
(29:31):
parents is definitely abombshell in itself.
Um Miss Christina has sincewritten me up a follow-up letter
because before I did thispodcast and before it airs, I
wanted to make sure I had afollow-up um response for her
because I can also postresponse.
So I didn't want it to be likeum a part one and a part two,
(29:58):
but it probably would be thatanyways.
So So um did I ask her anyquestions?
SPEAKER_03 (30:04):
Let's see.
SPEAKER_02 (30:06):
Okay.
So I'm saying if you listen tomy podcast and you think your
parents have done somethingwrong, it is okay to call them
out on it.
Um I would say speak calmly anddirectly in the moment.
There's no point in gettingupset, there's no point in
getting angry, there's no pointof getting mad.
(30:27):
Um, if you felt that yourparents are this way, I would
say discuss it privately.
If you're worried about a publicconfrontation, that would cause
a divisiveness anddefensiveness.
So you should talk to yourfamily member one-on-one.
Never put them on blast in frontof like the whole family,
because then at this point,you're trying to create a
spectacle that you think isgonna work in your favor, and
(30:49):
then the whole world doesn'tneed to be exposed to what your
family's secret is.
They don't, unless they're doingsomething bad and they're still
doing it, maybe.
But putting your family on blastin front of the whole world to
see is just not a thing that Iwould do.
Um, focus on feeling and impactinstead of debating the facts
which can make them defensive,explain how their comments may
(31:12):
affect you.
Try fake try phrasing it likewhen you say that it makes me
feel angry and disgusted.
So, um, we gotta be smart aboutthis, you gotta be level-headed.
I know that in this day andworld we want to record
everything and put it on socialmedia, but let me tell you
something.
When you put your family memberson blast, that has consequences.
(31:34):
Do they deserve it?
If they're still doing it, maybethey still deserve it, but if
they're not doing it, they don'tdeserve it.
Um, they don't deserve to beousted out and put on blast so
they can lose pretty mucheverything.
Now we're talking about I'm nottalking about the people that
you see, like the Kairns or uhthe racist men or the Mr.
Kairns that you know do stuffout in public.
(31:57):
That needs to be warrantedbecause you're working for
somebody who is clearly aracist, and that company doesn't
want that.
That's what I'm talking about byputting people on blast.
But if you discover suchinformation and this information
is going on right now, um, I'mnot sorry, not right now, in the
past, then it's okay to confrontthem.
But if you don't see that typeof behavior or that pattern that
they're following now, maybethey do it at home, but they
(32:20):
don't do that in public.
So I would say talk to them inprivately, calmly.
There's no point in arguing,there's no point in arguing,
there's no point in throwingthings and getting upset.
Now if you feel this stronglyabout this decision, then I
(32:46):
would say you go for it.
If you feel that you can orcan't get through, my hope is
that you can get through to yourparents, and when you get
through to your parents, thenmaybe things can change.
Like, what are some things thatthey are doing now that you
still consider to be racist?
Um, I know you've been away fromhome for roughly six years or
(33:06):
whatever since you left highschool, but you can't really
know if they're still the sameway as they were back in the
day.
Because as I said, back in theday, um it was a whole different
kind of thing, it was a wholeracism shouldn't happen, but it
happened.
You know, what I'm trying tofigure out is that why, and
we'll never get the answer tothat question as to why, but we
(33:30):
know that people are racist intheir own way, and they fear
what they don't know.
So when they come out and say,Well, I'm gonna call him this,
or I'm gonna call him that, yes,sometimes the trigger word is
the N-word.
Now, as I said before, I wasencountered with the KKK in
Mobile, Alabama, maybe it wasGreen Bay, but on the outskirts,
(33:54):
um, the guy called me a nigger.
Okay, I don't need to go hambecause he called me a nigger.
First of all, it's not what theycall you, it's what you answer
to.
You can quickly shut theconversation down by responding,
okay, you want to call me that,that's fine.
But here's the thing when you doit in a manner that's like just
(34:16):
a one-on-one, or you have abunch of your white cronies
around you and you think it'sgonna end well, that's fine,
that's fine, that's cool.
And it wasn't the fact that hecalled me that, I was actually
at work when he called me that.
So I had to think about is thisguy worth me losing my job over
it?
Is this guy worth me going tojail and putting food on my
table?
Did this guy physically assaultme?
(34:38):
No, he used words.
People can say and do what theywant to do, as long as they
don't put their hands on you, itis fine.
So that's why you see these newvideos out here with the the
female and male version ofKaren's, you know, they're
talking all this shit and allthey're saying, oh, you're black
bashed and you nigger this andthis, that, and the other.
Okay, that's fine, that's fine.
(34:59):
But the minute it gets recordedand it's sent to their employer,
then yes, that warrants, that iswhat I call justice.
It's called justice.
So, me putting my hands on youis not gonna further me to say,
Well, I need to go to jailbecause he called me a nigger.
No, no, no, no.
I feel much better knowing thatyou lost your job and you're
basically about to lose damnnear everything because of what
(35:21):
you said and what you did.
Because in this day ages, JesusLord, TikTok is like the
freaking mind blowing of theinvestigation.
I mean, all you gotta do is typein the first lesson, they'll
have your shit less, they'llhave your shit quicker than the
FBI, the PD, hell, maybe FR uhFRS.
I mean, it's weird because theminute I see these people going
(35:44):
ham, it's like two secondslater, they're already plastic.
This is who she is, this is herFacebook page.
I mean, damn, no wonder TikTokdidn't want to sell out to the
US.
I get it.
I mean, shit, they do moredetective work, and I mean
crimes and everything getsolved.
I mean, you can know everythingon TikTok just like that.
I don't even listen to the newsanymore.
I get my news from TikTok.
(36:04):
I mean, damn, TikTok is thatdamn good.
So, but that's the kind ofjustice that I'm talking about.
So, if you are a black man andyou have experienced some kind
of racism, and like I said,though we've seen in um this day
(36:26):
and age, you know, when blackfolks get mistreated or this,
that, and other, now we're doingthe smart thing.
And the smart thing is we'regoing after them um the legal
way.
We're not beating anybody's ass,we're not uh going to jail for
it.
No, we're doing it the smartway.
We're gonna come after yourlivelihood, we're gonna find out
where you work, where you live,what you do.
(36:47):
And when we find all that out,then it's only a matter of time
for that up in smoke or for whenthat leaves.
And is that sad?
Maybe.
Is it worth it?
Yeah, yeah.
Because you got people workingin these kind of positions.
That how do you know you're notgonna come across these people
again?
Do they deserve second chance?
(37:08):
Um, maybe it just kind ofdepends on the situation.
SPEAKER_03 (37:11):
Maybe it does.
SPEAKER_02 (37:12):
I mean, for Christ's sake, this prime example of this
letter, Brooke Hogan, which wasHulk Hogan's daughter or Terry
Bowler's daughter, uh, primeexample that this guy was
clearly a racist, an undercoverracist.
I used to look up to Hulk Hoganwhen I was younger, but as time
goes on and things startedemerging, started coming out,
(37:34):
and the tape and all that otherstuff, I was like, man, this
can't really be him.
And then when he tells hisdaughter he doesn't want his
daughter to date a black man,but she ends up dating a black
man.
I mean, that's like, holy crap,really?
Why would you even want to dothat?
And then when the man passedaway, she still felt the same
damn way.
That is what I call a brokenrelationship.
(37:56):
It's beyond repair.
She tried, he didn't want togive in, and then what I think
was more ice on the cake is thathe supported the guy in the
White House, Trump.
So he died.
I don't think he died peaceably,I think he died uh alone, you
know, because his daughter saidshe wanted nothing to do with
him, even after this man died.
(38:16):
And that's sad.
That's not a legacy I want toleave for my kids.
I want my kids to be happy.
I want my kids to be, I wantthem to thrive and go out in
life and just be happy and dowhat they want to do.
I want them to find somebodythat is good enough for them.
So racism, though it may betaught in some cases, and there
are some kids who choose tostick with that and choose to
(38:39):
say, again, fear what they don'tknow.
Because when you fear what youdon't know and you start
speaking out a turn, not a lie,your skin color ain't gonna save
you no more.
Because why?
We don't want to hurt you, butwe will hurt you in a way that
is detrimental to you.
That means going after where youwork or where you live.
To us, that is justified, thatis what we call justice.
(39:03):
So we may not hit your pocketsdepending on what the situation
is, but we're gonna hit you insome way.
And is that okay?
Yeah, because why are you doingit the legal way?
The legal way.
So, you know, and I think that'swhat the smart approach is that
black folks are now taking.
Now they're doing things thelegal way, they're speaking out
on platforms and calling thisperson out.
(39:24):
You know, oh, this person didthis, this, this, this, this,
and me.
And I'll be damned.
TikTok is right on it, right onit.
So we're gonna get into thefollow-up of Miss Christina
because she gave me a follow-up,and we're going to see if things
(39:44):
changed or if things were kindof the same, if the relationship
is still strained.
Um, I hoped that it wouldchange.
Um, I hope that they are gonnabe a better family because of
this.
So, without further ado, let'sget into it.
Let me get some of my tea, myred diamond.
I love the red diamond.
(40:07):
So, this is the follow-up.
This is her response.
Icon, hello again.
I hope all is well with you.
I have an update to share withyou.
I would first like to say thankyou because you're an outsider
that has shared positivefeedback, and that and that what
(40:29):
I was that was what I waslooking for.
Even though I asked some of myfriends, I don't know if they
took it seriously.
I get it.
So here we go.
Upon me going back home, my momknew everything about my
husband.
Even though I'm a daddy's girl,my mom has always been a big
supporter of me.
So she kept the secret from mydad, which I'm sure wasn't easy
(40:51):
to do.
You'd be surprised, but youknow.
So we flew home, stayed thenight in a hotel, and then we
drove home.
I was nervous.
I was nervous for my husband,but he assured me that
everything would be okay, andthat there was nothing to worry
about.
We drove back home at 10 a.m.
(41:12):
in the morning, and thisgreeting was something I wasn't
expecting.
My dad came running out, runningout of the house like I just
returned home from war,immediately picked me up and
hugged me and said that he wasso happy to see me.
Then he went around to thedriver's side door, flung the
door open, told my husband toget out.
This is where we thought it wentwrong.
(41:32):
Get out the car.
And he gave his son-in-law themost biggest hug.
I was shocked.
I cried with tears of joy andhappiness.
I asked my mom, crying, is dadgoing blind?
She said, No.
I told him everything aboutwhat's been going on with you.
And I said, Mom, really?
(41:53):
I thought you said you can keepa secret.
Well, apparently she didn't.
So she said, I did, but but shesaid, I don't want no more
secrets in this family.
Okay, I understand that.
So I cried again, tears of joy.
Then came to our daughterJasmine again.
My dad quickly forgot about us,picked up his granddaughter, and
went to the house.
(42:14):
And I was like, Okay, I mean, mymom was so sneaky and clever,
but I knew we had one more herdacross, and that was grandpa.
But surprise, grandpa couldn'twait to see me because mom
didn't tell me that he wasalready there.
So the door opened, my grandpa'seyes got big, but I couldn't
(42:38):
tell if it was her anger orfear.
But neither, it was happiness.
Oh, okay.
It was happiness.
Let's let that sit for a minute.
It was happiness.
There's more to the story.
Give me just a second, I gottaget my screen back up.
Okay.
So, it was happiness.
(42:59):
He gave him the biggest hug andsaid, Welcome to our family.
And I asked my mom, is grandpaon something?
She laughed.
I was like, WTO, what the ishappening?
Then came to me, then he came tome and apologized for everything
he said was wrong, and he wantedno part of that life, but wanted
to live the rest of his lifefully embracing other cultures.
(43:21):
I assumed my mom and dad talkedto him and told him everything
because for the time we werethere, he was the grandpa I
wanted.
I felt so at ease, I swear,Icon, seeing his
great-granddaughter just meltedme with happiness.
So I say thank you.
Because of your kind words, myfamily is back together.
(43:42):
We haven't spoken anything elseabout related to the past.
So much that they are all movingto New Mexico to be closer to
us, and they love his cooking,and they want to see his
restaurant, but most of all,they wanted to be closer to us
so they can see theirgrandchild.
And there it is.
There's a happy ending, a silverlining.
(44:05):
Um, you know when I read that,it almost made me tear up
because that's what you wantfrom parents.
Parents to take accountabilityto understand that what they did
back in those days were wrong.
But if they can live and learnfrom it and grow up and be
happy, who are we to say thatthey don't deserve a second
(44:28):
chance?
They deserve every bit of asecond chance.
I believe everything she says inthis letter.
Grandpa changed his ways.
I believe that the fatherchanged his ways.
And I believe that because it'ssomething about older folks and
when they're um and when theirgrandchild has a child.
(44:50):
When you look into that child'seyes, you're like, this is the
future, this is what we want.
We want to do right by ourgrandchild or our great
grandchild.
God bless them for this.
God bless them for um speakingup.
God bless them for their familyturning this into something
positive.
Because we know that somefamilies don't have this
(45:13):
opportunity, some families justsit in pain and just let that
pain fester, and that pain justcontinues to consume them as
they get older until they diealone.
And I don't want that foranybody.
I don't.
It's just sad.
Um when I read this letter, Iwas like, man, that that's
really good.
And again, I am just somebody anoutsider looking in.
(45:36):
If I can help you, I can helpyou.
If I can try to put your familyback on track, I can do that.
I am an outsider looking in.
I'm an average person.
Um, I have seen and been throughwhat she's been through.
Um, I'm not trying to make thisall about me, but I dated a girl
who I thought when I was gonnamarry, she was the love of my
(45:58):
life, and I fell hard in lovewith her.
But her father, her father wasjust not into race mixing.
Her mother, I mean, embraced me.
The father, and she was astone-cold hard daddy's girl.
She was.
Um But knowing that, I don'tknow if she would have done
(46:21):
things differently.
Um I haven't since talked toher, but I think in this day and
age, um, especially if you'redeep in the country, that things
have just changed.
If you are listening to mypodcast and you feel that you
are racist or have been racist,maybe it's time for a change.
(46:43):
You know, there is no race thatis better than any other race.
You know, we all bleeddifferent.
We may look different, we mayfeel different, but we all bleed
the same.
Our blood is red on the inside.
Okay, so our skin color may bedifferent, we may be different
as a person or an individual,but just take the time to get to
know somebody, you know, as wesee that people are navigating
(47:09):
more and more towards you know,other cultures and trying to
understand other cultures, andthat's fine.
I have no problem with that.
And I know that in times thatwhere we feel that we have to be
uh assertive towards anotherrace, we really don't.
We really don't.
You can have a disagreement withsomebody, but as long as you
(47:32):
talk about it, it's better totalk than to start fighting.
What are we fighting for?
The only way you should startfighting is if this person put
their hands on you, spit on you,whatever.
That might warn an ass whooping.
But as far as me going to jailand you know getting audio
communication and getting umangry and trying to beat the
(47:53):
shit out of you, this that'sjust not that's just not my
thing.
It's not my thing, it's not whatI'm gonna do.
But I will protect my family,and you have every right to do
that.
So, what I want everybody totake away from this, if you are
listening to this podcast andyou feel that or you have been
(48:13):
wronged in your family, or youthink your family's wrong, or
you're not even talking to yourfamily, this is what I would
encourage you to do (48:18):
sit down and talk.
Talk to them.
I don't care what the situationis, because nothing is more
heartbreaking than knowing thatif they left this world
tomorrow, you wouldn't get tosay what you want to say.
You would the house would stillbe burning instead of you
putting the fire out.
It doesn't matter who's right,it doesn't matter who's wrong.
(48:41):
Come together, sit down, andtalk about it.
You know, parents now I thinkare a lot more understanding
than what they were back in theday.
Why?
Because they lived through somuch, and I get we may have been
hurt by somebody of the oppositerace, but that doesn't justify a
whole race.
It doesn't, it's no waypossible.
(49:04):
So stop letting people encourageyou by pushing the narrative
that all races are bad exceptthe white race.
It is not, no race is betterthan any other race.
We are all here as a peopletrying to live in peace and
harmony, but we know there aretwo sides to a coin.
We know that.
(49:30):
So kids completely change thingsas they get older, especially
when they start living their ownlives.
And for Miss Christina and herparents to do what they did, um,
I think that six years hasreally done something to their
family.
I mean, you heard them so goodthat they want to move closer to
(49:51):
be with them in New Mexico.
And I think that is a drastic,drastic measure to take, but a
good one.
Because they want to be with herand their grandchild.
And I think that's good.
I'm not saying Nebraska is asmall, one-minded town because
I'm pretty sure there's a goodthere's good parts of people in
(50:11):
Nebraska, but New Mexico, muchmore culturally diverse.
This gentleman has a restaurant,which I mean, I wish I knew the
name of this restaurant.
I try to see if I can come outthere, but let's be honest.
Yeah, no.
But and he's successful.
So I think while grandfatherwhile while the grandfather was
kind of setting his ways, he mayhave come around to some things.
(50:33):
And nothing says anything thatyou're like you're lonely when
you don't have your grandchildwith you.
That's just it's loneliness, andthis feeling a sense of
emptiness inside you, and it'slike eating away at you.
And then you have time toreflect and think like, what
have I done?
What did I do?
How can I fix this?
And I guarantee you, theconversation started with the
(50:54):
mother.
I'm almost positive it startedwith the mother.
I'm pretty sure she set them twodown and was like, Listen, I'm
not gonna lose my daughter, I'mnot gonna lose my grandchild
over your two stupidness.
I leave you both in a minute.
I mean, I can imagine what thatconversation was like, and it's
not the crazy thing, but themothers are the always the one
(51:16):
holding the glue in the family,they're always trying to keep
everybody together and make sureeverybody does right.
As I said, mothers and familiesare the very neutral party,
they're neutral, but they'refair.
And when I say they're fair,they are fair in not really
taking both sides, but makingboth sides see, well, you're
wrong for this and you're wrongfor that, and then collectively,
collectively bringing themtogether and saying that hey, we
(51:38):
need to work on this and we'regoing to work on this.
And as a family, we're gonna bethat family, we're gonna be a
strong family and we're gonnastay together as a family.
We're not going to uh gobackwards, we're gonna go
forward.
So, I don't know what thepolitics in that family is.
I mean, I can only imagine, butit is what it is.
(51:58):
So, it's good when a family isback on track.
It's good that a family can sitand talk rather than just you
know be at each other's throatsor let this fester for so long
to that when you die, you didn'thave a chance to say anything to
that person.
Because what happens when aperson is die?
We often live in regret, we takeblame and say, Well, I should
(52:19):
have done this, I should havedone that.
I know that there are somefamilies who don't have what
Miss Christina's family has.
I understand that, I get that.
Maybe start small.
I'm not saying jump right intothe pool and you don't know how
to swim.
I'm saying take the appropriateactions, sit down and talk.
Um, sit down and just try tomaybe understand, understand
(52:44):
what this person was doing waswrong.
And then after they say whatthey're doing is wrong, if they
can take ownership of it andsay, Well, you know, I'm open to
changing my ways.
If they can change their way,they can change.
You know, that's that's thething.
I think people can change ifthey want to change.
I think people can change theway they that they are if
(53:06):
they're racist or if they haveracist ways.
I have some racist ways, butlet's be real clear, I don't
like confrontation.
I will talk to you first to seeif we can get some kind of
resolution.
But with that being said, if youcome after my kids, then we have
a problem.
A huge problem.
Again, you'll be pushing updaisies by dawn.
(53:28):
Real talk.
So while I think racism is gonnastill exist, it is up to us as
people to say how we can moveforward from it.
Do we need to fight?
Do I need to go to jail?
Do I need to do anything?
No, we don't.
We don't.
No, no.
(53:50):
As we see on TikTok, the peopleget called out at their racism.
They are living in regretbecause they feel hurt.
And what's bad is that they'rein a community that a community
doesn't even want them there.
You know, we've seen that thisadministration has kind of taken
its toll on races.
You know, they're trying to pitus against each other for what?
(54:10):
They want a race war.
We're not gonna give them thesatisfaction of a race war.
We're going to be people ofsmart, people of peace, and
people of intelligence.
We're going to hurt you, butwe're going to hit you where it
hurts.
It might hit you in your pocketor your career.
That is the satisfaction againof that's making us happy.
Because knowing that you don'thave this job anymore, you have
(54:31):
to sit and wonder if anybody'sgoing to hire you or put up with
you.
That's that's all thesatisfaction I need.
That's all the satisfaction Iwant.
Real talk.
So again, if you are somebodywho listens to my show, you are
(54:53):
dealing with something with yourfamily that you think is beyond
repair or beyond approach, Iwould challenge you.
You can reach out to me, we cantalk about it.
Maybe we can come on the showand have a full conversation
about it.
I don't know.
But I'm happy that this letterhad an happy ending.
As I said before, we see parentslike this, it doesn't end well.
(55:15):
And it's hard when your child isnot with you because it's
something that I think it's abig it's a big deal to them.
But to me, it kind of could havegone the other way had
grandfather kind of just said,well, hey, I'm sorry for this,
you know, this is what he saidwhat it was, but and then he
didn't apologize until she cameback.
(55:36):
At least he apologized.
At least he did.
And I hope that he has a out abetter outlook on life in
reference to the other cultures,the race, because this world is
filled with other cultures.
You know, when I go to thePhilippines, um, I wasn't shown
not one ounce of racism there,partially in part because it's a
(56:00):
one-culture town or one culturecountry, because there's not
that many races there.
But when we come, when I come tothe Philippines, I'm treated
like I'm like like royalty.
I mean, godly, it's beautiful,and not all cultures are like
that, and I understand thatbecause some cultures want to
remain their one culture town ortheir one culture country, but
(56:22):
other cultures enrich othercultures.
Black culture enriches a lot ofcultures.
We do a lot of good things inthis world, we create a lot of
good things in this world.
Again, no race is better thanthe other race.
We are simply just trying tolive and trying to live in peace
and trying to be happy.
We know that there are somecommunities that are just
(56:43):
horrible and just riddled withviolence, and I wish the best
for those people.
But again, it may be a black uha black race, a black race, or a
white race, or Mexican race, orany other race.
Again, nobody is better thananybody.
So we must look to each other,and I and I and I see this a
(57:05):
lot, I see a lot of uprising,and you know, people trying to
come together and say, Well,we're not doing this anymore.
And that's a good thing.
So, parents, if you listen to mypodcast, you have kids that want
to date outside their race,encourage them to date and feel
how they want to feel.
They can fall in love withanybody who they choose to fall
(57:26):
in love with.
You can't control that.
Because if you keep trying tokeep them away from it, I
guarantee you they're gonnanavigate to that, and you'll be
pissed, but they'll be happy.
And in the interest of you beingpissed, you're gonna lose the
very child that you love themost.
Because we see some kids justdon't ever come back from it.
(57:47):
They don't, they call theirparents out, like, oh, he's
never gonna change, never gonnado this.
But it's gonna be too late foryou to change because meanwhile,
while they're going on withlife, you're still sitting at
home grumpy and mad as hellbecause your child ran off with
somebody of the opposite race.
And I don't even care what racethat is, I don't.
I don't.
I don't know what it is aboutthe black men that white white
(58:10):
fathers fear the most.
Stop watching shit on TV thatyou think that we're all
connected, because we're not allconnected.
We don't feel that way wheny'all do shit.
I damn sure don't.
I look like, oh my god, wedon't.
There are some things we want todo in this world and let's live
in peace.
We can't help that we were bornwith this color.
(58:32):
This is the way God made us,this is the way God made all
people.
But the smart thing and theright thing to do is just to
embrace.
If you can embrace it, if youcan try to understand it, do
that.
Ask all the questions you wantto ask.
But don't go for a second andtell your child, no, we are
racist, just stay together.
(58:53):
No, that's what we were here todo.
We're here, no, you're not,you're not.
Your child is an extension ofyou.
Would you rather your child bewith somebody abusive?
Or would you rather your childbe with somebody who was smart
and it always has their back?
It doesn't matter if it's maleor female, either way it goes,
(59:14):
hey, it's what it is.
So as we get ready to close theshow out, I want to say thank
(59:35):
you.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being part of myaudience.
As you guys know, um, you canlisten to this podcast anywhere
that is streaming.
Um, let's talk about it.
Uh, I'm on Amazon, I'm onSpotify, I'm on all of it.
(59:55):
So, I want to say thank you forlistening, thank you for tuning
in.
Um podcast drops everyWednesday, like clockwork.
Although I've been getting someletters and saying that we need
you to drop more during theweek.
Well, I got two jobs.
You know, I do this for fun.
Um, before I go, I also had arequest from a young lady.
(01:00:22):
Hold on here.
Let me see if I can find it.
Um, hang on, hang on.
I'm trying to find it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:37):
I don't know if I can find it.
No, that's not it.
That's not it, that's not it.
SPEAKER_02 (01:00:44):
Okay.
So we had a listener um in thespirit of Halloween.
I don't know why, because thisepisode has nothing to do with
Halloween, but um in the spiritof Halloween, um, her name was
wait, where is it?
Oh, her name was Ashley.
Ashley emailed me and said thatshe wanted me to repost an
episode um that she thought wasfunny.
(01:01:07):
Um, this episode is called TheLiving Dead.
Um, Ashley, if you're listeningto this podcast, I will repost
it.
I will repost it.
Um, this episode was about um aguy who was dating a girl who
clearly thought she was tryingto mimic a zombie just in case
she got bit.
(01:01:27):
But we all know that shit ain'ttrue.
Ain't no zombies here.
So the episode is called TheLiving Dead.
Um, and I will repost thisAshley.
And for those of you guys whowant to listen to it, who are
free to listen to it, um, thiswas an episode I did last year
um that got a lot of hits off ofit, and a lot of people are
like, Well, she is she'sserious.
(01:01:47):
I guess she was.
Um, we never got a follow-up tothat, so I don't know if they're
together, if they're nottogether, but clearly it
explains the situation that umshe was just trying to you know
I don't know, it's weird.
So if you guys get a chance,listen to it.
So, as I said before, thank youguys for listening.
(01:02:08):
I'm the icon, the show is calledLet's Talk About It.
Uh, again, links will be in thedescription.
Um, anywhere you listen topodcasts, feel free to get it
on.
So for for right now, we'regonna let y'all groove to this
last track, uh, sugarcoat byJovi.
And thank you.
Well, you're in his mind, a man that is admired,
fun, compassionate,understanding, and very
sarcastic.
Hey, that's who he is.
The advice can either be good ormisunderstood, but he does
become experienced.
So step back, listen up, followup, and let's talk.
SPEAKER_03 (04:34):
Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
Give me just a second, we're gonna get this
thing started.
(05:12):
How's everybody doing out there?
Well, here we are again.
I am the icon.
I want to welcome you to theshow.
Let's talk about it.
Today we have kind of a lettercoming from a young lady who is
(05:33):
uh currently struggling with uhsome family issues that she may
have had, well, that she mayhave come into, and that she's
just trying to figure out howshe wants to deal with it.
So this episode might run alittle bit longer than expected,
but in any event, we're gonnaget through it and we're gonna
try to help her out the best waywe can.
(05:54):
So I want to thank you guys fortuning in to the show.
Uh, I want to thank mysupporters, my listeners, for
listening to the show.
So, without further ado, we'reabout to get into it.
Oh god, I love to vape.
I think that's like the bestthing ever since cigarettes.
(06:16):
I mean, cigarettes were goodbecause you know I would smoke
so much, but since vaping camealong, voila, vaping.
In any event, this letter that Ireceived from Miss Christina is
uh she's a small town girl,she's coming from Nebraska.
(06:38):
So, without further ado, this uhpodcast is entitled Very Bad
Secrets in My Family.
So, here we go.
Icon, my name is Christina.
I am from a small town inNebraska, but I have since moved
away after I graduated.
I'm currently living in NewMexico, I'm happily married with
(06:59):
one daughter who is one yearold.
So I need your advice or helpwith something that has been
plaguing me that has to dealwith my family, particularly my
dad and my grandfather.
I must warn you that what I'mabout to say, I want my dad and
grandfather to hear, so pleaseemail me when the show is live,
and so I can download it and wecan listen to it.
(07:21):
Or I will send it to my dadbecause I'm so disappointed in
him right now that ourrelationship has been strained
because I found out mygrandfather was a member of the
KKK.
Yes, the KKK.
So for you, for those listenerswho don't know what the KKK is,
it is uh the Klu Klux Klan.
They are a racist organizationwho is still living and breeding
(07:42):
in certain parts of the area orthe US or wherever the hell
they're from.
Um this really took me bysurprise.
And now that I'm older, somethings make sense to me now when
it comes to my grandfather andmaybe my dad, but here goes.
I was visiting my grandpa andhelping him clean out his attic,
(08:02):
and upon cleaning out, I cameacross some photos of him
wearing a white robe with acone-shaped hat, and I thought
it was a Halloween costume.
Yeah, I I can see how that wouldunderstand that.
So I didn't think anything of ituntil we were shown a video in
school in history class, andthat what had to do, and I had
we had to do an assignment aboutracism and the history of where
(08:23):
and why it began.
Needless to say, I was soshocked to learn that someone in
my family was a member of thishate group.
My stomach dropped, I criedknowing that someone in your
family was tied to such apathetic group of men, because I
didn't see any women in there.
Icon, my life and world hadcompletely changed because I
(08:44):
love my grandpa and I'm verymuch a daddy's girl.
At one point we were so close,but now not so much.
So after I did the assignment, Ireceived an A.
And after I showed my parents, Idecided to ask my father and
grandfather that Sunday atsupper because every Sunday we
have family dinner after churchat home.
By the way, I was a sophomore atthe time when this all happened.
(09:06):
When I asked my grandpa aboutthe history of the KKK, I don't
know if he was just playing dumbor his old age was just setting
in.
But I asked my dad, as well asimmediately he got upset.
And I get the feeling thateither he knew or he didn't
know, but I needed answers.
And I wanted my father andgrandpa, and I wanted to know
(09:27):
wait, I wanted to know if myfather and grandpa had a hand in
this despicable group.
My grandpa said he didn't wantto talk about it, and my dad
said drop in.
And I had no business askingsuch a ridiculous question.
Needless to say, I think Iruined my family dentist for
Sunday because things haven'tbeen the same.
(09:48):
And I know that this is such ahard thing to find out.
Weeks later, my father, whichhas spoken to me since hasn't
spoken to me since the incident,came to me and asked why I asked
the question.
I told him I found an old photoof grandpa and a white robe with
a cross on it.
And my dad said that I shouldn'thave did what I did and said
(10:11):
what I did what I did.
And I said, why not?
I would never have known this ifI didn't have to help grandpa
clean his attic.
I asked my dad, was he a racist?
And he said, What?
No.
Then I asked, you know, oddquestion.
Then I asked why he doesn't haveblack friends.
(10:32):
He said he does at work.
So I said, Well, it's a problemif I dated a black boy.
He said yes, because I don'tbelieve in race mixing.
We should say with our own kind.
Oh, here we go.
And I casually said, but dad,this is a definition of a
racist.
We argued, so my mom came in andtold us both to shut the hell
(10:53):
up.
So I asked my mom the samequestion, and she said, I could
love and date whoever I wanted.
I could tell my dad was mad, buthe didn't want to ever cross his
uh cross his wife.
Well, yeah, I get that, youknow.
You know, mothers are alwaysalways the neutral party in a
relationship.
And man, sometimes I miss mywife.
(11:13):
Uh two more weeks went by.
My grandpa wanted to speak withme, so I went to visit him.
He explained to me that this wasa dark time in his life and that
he didn't really know how he wassupposed to live, but he
followed this group because hedidn't have friends.
And so and though he thoughtthat it was right, he just
stayed with it.
Grandpa admitted that he wascompletely a racist and he
(11:36):
didn't really like black people.
And he said colored, but we allknow where that's going.
Because he said that they'redestructive, abusive, rude, and
thought that they should just goback to where they came from.
I'm still trying to figure outwhere the hell did they come
from.
I was heartbroken.
I cried, and he said it's okaybecause you're safe.
You're white, that meanssomething.
I told grandpa I never wanted tosee him again.
(11:57):
And he said, one day you willunderstand.
Ew boy.
Can imagine being the fly onthat wall, right?
I said, that's the day you willnever.
I said that I said that this isthe day you will never see.
I left home, told my parentswhat had happened.
My mom was very supportive, butI can tell my dad felt almost
(12:19):
the same way as his dad.
But remember, my dad said he hasblack friends, and my mind he
wanted to call him, I wanted tocall him a liar.
But I was just tired of it.
Icon.
We have a black uh we have blackpeople in our community, our
school.
Probably not a lot because I'mfrom a small town.
So we don't see much action,meaning everyone knows somebody,
(12:42):
and we are just in a goodcommunity.
That's a good thing, you know.
Living in a small community cansometimes be good, sometimes it
can be bad.
But small towns, usuallyeverybody knows somebody.
Uh, small town living is eh,it's okay, because you know
everybody, and yeah, whatever.
In any event, um, here'ssomething that is interesting,
(13:06):
that is an interesting thought.
My junior year.
Wait, here is something that isinteresting.
Throughout my junior year, and avery small part of my senior
year, I dated a white guy who Ithought was a great guy.
I really liked him, but it turnsout he was not only verbally
abusive, but he was alsophysically abusive.
I'm not even sure where helearned it from because I've met
(13:28):
his parents.
They seemed to have a greatmarriage, and his home was very
stable.
The abuse was so bad, I wasafraid of him.
And I didn't even tell myparents at that point that if I
had bruises, I would say theywere from gym class for playing
soccer.
His name was Jacob.
He was a jock, played mostlyfootball, though he was though
(13:48):
though he was the shit.
But was average like me, but hada temper over the stupidest
things I couldn't even talk toother boys unless he was there
with me.
His dumbass sister was a spy,but at the same time, she is a
sophomore.
That's bad when you have thesister involved because clearly
something's going on.
(14:09):
One day he beat me up so bad Ididn't want to go to school.
My mom knew something was wrongbecause she put her hand on my
back and I jumped in pain.
I broke down, I showed her, shelost it.
She called my dad to come home.
I was free to detail.
Let's just say my mom handledlike a boss.
Yeah, you know, most moms do.
You know, most moms are just, ohlord, they're gangsters.
Moms are gangsters.
(14:32):
Fast forward, after school, Iwas free from the abuse.
I moved to New Mexico, where Imet my husband, a man I fell in
love with.
He is everything to me, treatsme like a queen.
I work in real estate, he hashis own restaurant.
That is amazing.
That is where I met Mr.
Jonta.
Jonta J.
That's his name, Jonta J.
(14:52):
Nice name by the way.
I use that anyways, um, Icon.
He's a black man that I love andthat I cherish, and he feels the
same about me.
It's been six years since Igreened since I seen my grandpa.
But my mom and dad said he'salways asked about me and wants
to see me, but I'm not comingalone.
So I have planned a trip to goback home, but I need your
advice on how to handle this orhow you think I should handle
(15:16):
this.
So I didn't do this episodeuntil I got the results from
Christina because I thinkthere's kind of like two parts
to this um episode.
So what she's dealing with is afamily secret that is a dark
secret, and that you know, she'sjust trying to figure out how
she needs to handle it.
(15:38):
And I can say I do and I don'tget it, but I've been here
before.
Um I felt kind of bad becausesometimes when you find out a
secret as dark as that, andknowing that your people were
part of the uh racistorganization called the KKK, and
then also telling you thatyou're safe because you're
white, um, you know, in this dayand age, that shit don't fly
(16:00):
over no more.
It's a different new worldorder.
Um, sorry about that, that's thephone.
Any event, um when we find outsomething dark about our
parents, sometimes kids canunderstand it, and then they can
(16:24):
when you're young, you thinkyou're taught that what they're
doing is the right thing untilwe get older and that we're able
to understand things that are uhthat we thought made sense to
us, but really doesn't makesense to us.
So while our parents are tellingus that you know this was the
way back in our day, this iswhat we had to do, not
(16:45):
necessarily.
Um, the KKK is a racistorganization group.
I've had the dealings with themwhen I moved to Alabama.
It was my first encounter with aum, I don't know if he was a
grand wizard, I don't know whatthe hell he was, but clearly um
their logic and their lifestyleis not depicting who they were
as people, and to be filled withso much hate, which is
(17:09):
ridiculous.
And I know that in this damnworld we keep experiencing that,
and we keep you know, somepeople have that kind of um
what's the word I'm looking for?
Have that kind of aura, notreally aura, but you can always
tell their true colors when theyget mad, especially when they
see a black person.
Now, listen, I have not um Ihave not been too much since
(17:39):
where I live now, but when I wasliving in Mobile, Alabama, I
couldn't say I experienced a lotof racism, but let's just say I
experienced some.
Um, because race mixing in someparts of this world, some
country uh some countries, notsome countries, um, some
communities kind of condemn.
I don't know why.
I don't get it, um, but it'swhat it is.
(18:03):
Give me just a second here.
Got a text remote.
But sorry about that.
Okay, so and here's the thing,what parents fear the most and
(18:26):
that you tried to instill inyour kids, eventually, as they
get older, they will navigatetoo.
So while this young lady, Ithink, did the respectful thing
by honoring her parents bydating a white guy, which the
guy turned out to be not onlyverbally but physically abusive,
to a point where she had gottenharmed.
And I can imagine what the momprobably did or said because I
(18:50):
have daughters, and if anybodyputs their hands on my daughter,
you best believe um somebodygonna be pushing up daisies by
dawn, real talk.
So I think in any is anysituation, it doesn't matter.
A man should have should nothave the right to put his hands
on a woman unless he isphysically defending himself,
and I'm not saying that I'm onlysaying that if a woman is
(19:14):
putting herself in thatpredicament where she just keeps
slugging her man and hitting herman, at some point you gotta
say, hey, and I'm not evensaying you need to injure her or
nothing like that.
But that's not what this letteris about.
I'm just saying, as a man, Idon't really condone hitting a
female at all, unless you'redefending yourself.
I mean, if she hit you once,that's probably a pass.
(19:34):
Twice, uh, we're kind of on theedge of teetering there.
Third time, yeah, we something'sabout to happen, but I don't
condone any violence againstwomen.
I don't, I don't, so um, MissChristina.
I know that you know you findingout difficult things about your
family kind of put your familyin an uproar.
(19:55):
And I mean, you said thishappened when you were in high
school, so I don't really knowwhat your age was, but um, I'm
assuming that this happenedrecently, and like you graduated
recently, or well, you said itwas six years ago, and that
you're on the verge of goingback home to visit your parents
or visit your people.
Um I think that um you canaddress this directly, speaking
(20:19):
calmly in a direct moment.
Um, you want answers, I get it,but sometimes when you get the
answer that you want, it doesn'treally always go the way it
seems.
There's no really justificationfor why this young man did what
he did.
But I can tell you this back inthose days, um, to order to fit
(20:40):
in or to do something, somepeople did go along with it.
And we hear this a lot.
We hear a lot of people in thisday and age kind of grow up with
regret of what they did and howthey did it in reference to um
black folks or any other race,you know.
Racism, some say racism istaught, and in this case, the
(21:02):
grandfather and the father,which I guess he's seen what his
dad was doing, and kind ofmimicked mimicked it instead of
growing his own personalidentity and saying, Dad, this
is wrong, um, I'm not going tofollow your footsteps or follow
your lead.
He kind of just navigated to it,and it doesn't matter if you're
in a small town, it doesn'tmatter um that uh what they're
(21:27):
doing you feel is right.
If you know it's wrong, don't doit.
If you think it's wrong, don'tdo it.
The thing is about today versusback in our day, today there's a
lot more boldness among um alongamong parents and their kids.
If their kids see something thatis not right, they call their
(21:48):
parents out on it.
And most of them do it in arespectful way.
So we see that time and timeagain that when a parent uh when
a child finds out that theirparent is racing, races, they
immediately call them out on it.
I mean, we see that now withthis whole administration.
You know, you have familiesturning against family because
of one man who thinks he's justthe shit and he thinks he's God,
(22:09):
and you have families that areliterally splitting up over this
one guy, which is sad because tome, there's no kind of um
there's no kind of um oh man,well, I'm losing my words today.
There's no kind of reunion forfamily like that.
I mean, it's it's to some peoplethey consider it to be broken
(22:31):
when they found out that youvoted for this guy, and then
you're like, wait, what?
This guy did this, this guy didthis, it's sort of like what
Miss Christina went through withher grandfather.
You know, you would have neverknown had you not cleaned out
grandpa's attic.
And I think your mom, which isan amazing person, um, which is
ultimately the neutral party,kind of set you straight and
said, Well, not really set youstraight, but kind of is on the
(22:54):
side of both sides, but nottrying to offend her husband,
but wants to make sure thatyou're happy as a person.
Because as we get older, yourparents can't really control who
you date.
After you reach a certain age ofadulthood, it is your life, it
is your decision.
Now, we understand that parentswant to control every aspect of
their child's life.
And why?
I have no idea.
(23:14):
I don't.
I have seven kids, I want themto be independently on who they
are.
I don't want to control and saywho you can and who you can't
date.
I don't own my kids.
I created them.
I don't own them, I didn't buythem, I created them.
I created them, they're anextension of me, they are my
legacy.
And my legacy is I want them tobe happy, I want them to be who
(23:37):
they're going to be.
It doesn't matter who they love,it doesn't matter if they're
gay, straight, bi, whatever.
I am a parent, as a parent willtalk to my kids and let them
know that hey, either this isright or this is wrong.
So, but that's up to them tofollow that.
Now, if I know they're doingsomething wrong, if I know
(24:01):
they're doing something wrong,then I will try to correct that.
But nine times out of ten, theywill listen and then they will
proceed on how they can proceedon.
But I would never try to controlmy kids and say, Well, you can
date this person, or no, youneed to stay with your own race.
I don't understand what astaying with your own race
means.
Love is love.
(24:22):
We are in a new world, adifferent world.
And let's not and let's beclear.
Race mixing happened long, long,long ago before this shit ever
got blown up to what it istoday.
So you had what is that?
Jefferson Jefferson Jackson?
I don't know.
Andrew Jackson, okay, AndrewJackson, who clearly, who
clearly loved his slaves a lotmore than what he should have.
(24:44):
I mean, for Christ's sake, theyhad kids.
So race mixing is nothing new,you know.
People like when they see that,it is like, oh my god, it's the
worst thing ever.
It is not the worst thing ever.
I read in this letter that yourgrandfather said that black
folks are rude, um, they'reabusive, and they are just
(25:05):
downright mean people.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Let me see if I can find that.
Uh here somewhere.
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
So um they're rude and abusive and destructive.
We're not destructive.
Now, you can't lump us inbecause of one person's bad
actions.
So basically say if you have onebad apple, they're the rest of
the the rest of the bag is full.
That's not the way this shitworks.
(25:34):
It doesn't.
Because there are some black menout there who are genuinely,
genuinely caring, and that'smaybe uh I want to say that's
maybe two or five percent of theblack race.
Yeah, you have some that arerude, and I don't know who you
met that that you know was rudein there.
Maybe that's just because you'retaking on what you see on TV or
(25:57):
what you think is bad, but notall black folks are like that,
and that's the problem is whenwe see one racist person, we
don't assume that they're allracist, we only assume that that
one person that is doing thespeaking or running their damn
mouth, that that's the personwho is the heck who is the
issue.
I'm not going to take one personand make them bad for the whole
that's like police, you know.
(26:18):
This one thing was one incidentwith the police.
Um, now granted, Rodney King.
That if you guys don't know whathappened to Rodney King, go look
that up.
With Rodney King, there was aslew of them.
But let's not let's be clear.
There are black folks that areracist towards their own people.
I in particular am not likethat.
Now, I don't agree with some ofwhat some of the black culture
(26:40):
does in reference to postingvideos of fights and you know
doing stupid shit, but let's notbe let's be clear.
They're not the only racistdoing that, you know.
We have uh white folks doingthat, we have Hispanics or any
other race doing that.
So we're not all lumped togetheras far as you know, oh, the
black race is just a bad race.
No, we're not.
SPEAKER_03 (27:00):
We're not.
SPEAKER_02 (27:01):
We thrive in in this day and age, and that the truth
is finally coming to light thatblack folks have succeeded, far
more succeeded than white folks.
Now, don't get me wrong, whitefolks have been here in this
country for generations ormillennia or whatever, but our
very existence puts them wherethey are today, and we've
(27:23):
created things, we've donethings.
So I think saying that all blackmen are rude, destructive,
abusive, and rude, uh, we're notall like that.
And I would challenge yourgrandfather to get out and try
to, you know, meet some peopleor do something with people and
try to um understand the cultureinstead of just passing judgment
(27:44):
on the culture.
As I live and breathe, I seethings every day.
And it's not a black and whiteissue, it is a personality
issue.
When I see people either tearingthings up or robbing people or
killing people, I don't think tomyself, oh my god, it's another
black guy.
SPEAKER_03 (28:01):
No, I don't.
SPEAKER_02 (28:02):
It's not a scorekeeping thing, it's bad
people with bad intentions isbasically what it is.
So I think grandpa, you're wrongon this.
And I'm not sure what happenedin your life where you thought
that where you thought that thiswas the way to go.
(28:25):
And the fact that you told yourum granddaughter that she is
safe because she's white isridiculous.
Thank God that yourgranddaughter has sense enough
to know and separate um separatefact from fiction and understand
that I want to be like everybodyelse.
This isn't me.
And they say racism is taught.
(28:46):
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
But if it's taught, it's taughtat a very young age.
And when it's taught at a veryyoung age, the sad thing is that
when these kids get older, um,they start, like I said,
realizing and understanding likethis can be right.
And then, like I said, theynavigate to the thing you hate
the most.
You didn't want yourgranddaughter to date a black
(29:07):
guy.
Well, she tried it your way.
It didn't work out your way.
It didn't work out so well atall.
So when she tried it her way,your way, she got beat by who?
A white guy.
Okay?
So, experiment with the bullshitand messing with that shit.
But as I said, dealing withthis, Christina, with your
(29:31):
parents is definitely abombshell in itself.
Um Miss Christina has sincewritten me up a follow-up letter
because before I did thispodcast and before it airs, I
wanted to make sure I had afollow-up um response for her
because I can also postresponse.
So I didn't want it to be likeum a part one and a part two,
(29:58):
but it probably would be thatanyways.
So So um did I ask her anyquestions?
SPEAKER_03 (30:04):
Let's see.
SPEAKER_02 (30:06):
Okay.
So I'm saying if you listen tomy podcast and you think your
parents have done somethingwrong, it is okay to call them
out on it.
Um I would say speak calmly anddirectly in the moment.
There's no point in gettingupset, there's no point in
getting angry, there's no pointof getting mad.
(30:27):
Um, if you felt that yourparents are this way, I would
say discuss it privately.
If you're worried about a publicconfrontation, that would cause
a divisiveness anddefensiveness.
So you should talk to yourfamily member one-on-one.
Never put them on blast in frontof like the whole family,
because then at this point,you're trying to create a
spectacle that you think isgonna work in your favor, and
(30:49):
then the whole world doesn'tneed to be exposed to what your
family's secret is.
They don't, unless they're doingsomething bad and they're still
doing it, maybe.
But putting your family on blastin front of the whole world to
see is just not a thing that Iwould do.
Um, focus on feeling and impactinstead of debating the facts
which can make them defensive,explain how their comments may
(31:12):
affect you.
Try fake try phrasing it likewhen you say that it makes me
feel angry and disgusted.
So, um, we gotta be smart aboutthis, you gotta be level-headed.
I know that in this day andworld we want to record
everything and put it on socialmedia, but let me tell you
something.
When you put your family memberson blast, that has consequences.
(31:34):
Do they deserve it?
If they're still doing it, maybethey still deserve it, but if
they're not doing it, they don'tdeserve it.
Um, they don't deserve to beousted out and put on blast so
they can lose pretty mucheverything.
Now we're talking about I'm nottalking about the people that
you see, like the Kairns or uhthe racist men or the Mr.
Kairns that you know do stuffout in public.
(31:57):
That needs to be warrantedbecause you're working for
somebody who is clearly aracist, and that company doesn't
want that.
That's what I'm talking about byputting people on blast.
But if you discover suchinformation and this information
is going on right now, um, I'mnot sorry, not right now, in the
past, then it's okay to confrontthem.
But if you don't see that typeof behavior or that pattern that
they're following now, maybethey do it at home, but they
(32:20):
don't do that in public.
So I would say talk to them inprivately, calmly.
There's no point in arguing,there's no point in arguing,
there's no point in throwingthings and getting upset.
Now if you feel this stronglyabout this decision, then I
(32:46):
would say you go for it.
If you feel that you can orcan't get through, my hope is
that you can get through to yourparents, and when you get
through to your parents, thenmaybe things can change.
Like, what are some things thatthey are doing now that you
still consider to be racist?
Um, I know you've been away fromhome for roughly six years or
(33:06):
whatever since you left highschool, but you can't really
know if they're still the sameway as they were back in the
day.
Because as I said, back in theday, um it was a whole different
kind of thing, it was a wholeracism shouldn't happen, but it
happened.
You know, what I'm trying tofigure out is that why, and
we'll never get the answer tothat question as to why, but we
(33:30):
know that people are racist intheir own way, and they fear
what they don't know.
So when they come out and say,Well, I'm gonna call him this,
or I'm gonna call him that, yes,sometimes the trigger word is
the N-word.
Now, as I said before, I wasencountered with the KKK in
Mobile, Alabama, maybe it wasGreen Bay, but on the outskirts,
(33:54):
um, the guy called me a nigger.
Okay, I don't need to go hambecause he called me a nigger.
First of all, it's not what theycall you, it's what you answer
to.
You can quickly shut theconversation down by responding,
okay, you want to call me that,that's fine.
But here's the thing when you doit in a manner that's like just
(34:16):
a one-on-one, or you have abunch of your white cronies
around you and you think it'sgonna end well, that's fine,
that's fine, that's cool.
And it wasn't the fact that hecalled me that, I was actually
at work when he called me that.
So I had to think about is thisguy worth me losing my job over
it?
Is this guy worth me going tojail and putting food on my
table?
Did this guy physically assaultme?
(34:38):
No, he used words.
People can say and do what theywant to do, as long as they
don't put their hands on you, itis fine.
So that's why you see these newvideos out here with the the
female and male version ofKaren's, you know, they're
talking all this shit and allthey're saying, oh, you're black
bashed and you nigger this andthis, that, and the other.
Okay, that's fine, that's fine.
(34:59):
But the minute it gets recordedand it's sent to their employer,
then yes, that warrants, that iswhat I call justice.
It's called justice.
So, me putting my hands on youis not gonna further me to say,
Well, I need to go to jailbecause he called me a nigger.
No, no, no, no.
I feel much better knowing thatyou lost your job and you're
basically about to lose damnnear everything because of what
(35:21):
you said and what you did.
Because in this day ages, JesusLord, TikTok is like the
freaking mind blowing of theinvestigation.
I mean, all you gotta do is typein the first lesson, they'll
have your shit less, they'llhave your shit quicker than the
FBI, the PD, hell, maybe FR uhFRS.
I mean, it's weird because theminute I see these people going
(35:44):
ham, it's like two secondslater, they're already plastic.
This is who she is, this is herFacebook page.
I mean, damn, no wonder TikTokdidn't want to sell out to the
US.
I get it.
I mean, shit, they do moredetective work, and I mean
crimes and everything getsolved.
I mean, you can know everythingon TikTok just like that.
I don't even listen to the newsanymore.
I get my news from TikTok.
(36:04):
I mean, damn, TikTok is thatdamn good.
So, but that's the kind ofjustice that I'm talking about.
So, if you are a black man andyou have experienced some kind
of racism, and like I said,though we've seen in um this day
(36:26):
and age, you know, when blackfolks get mistreated or this,
that, and other, now we're doingthe smart thing.
And the smart thing is we'regoing after them um the legal
way.
We're not beating anybody's ass,we're not uh going to jail for
it.
No, we're doing it the smartway.
We're gonna come after yourlivelihood, we're gonna find out
where you work, where you live,what you do.
(36:47):
And when we find all that out,then it's only a matter of time
for that up in smoke or for whenthat leaves.
And is that sad?
Maybe.
Is it worth it?
Yeah, yeah.
Because you got people workingin these kind of positions.
That how do you know you're notgonna come across these people
again?
Do they deserve second chance?
(37:08):
Um, maybe it just kind ofdepends on the situation.
SPEAKER_03 (37:11):
Maybe it does.
SPEAKER_02 (37:12):
I mean, for Christ's sake, this prime example of this
letter, Brooke Hogan, which wasHulk Hogan's daughter or Terry
Bowler's daughter, uh, primeexample that this guy was
clearly a racist, an undercoverracist.
I used to look up to Hulk Hoganwhen I was younger, but as time
goes on and things startedemerging, started coming out,
(37:34):
and the tape and all that otherstuff, I was like, man, this
can't really be him.
And then when he tells hisdaughter he doesn't want his
daughter to date a black man,but she ends up dating a black
man.
I mean, that's like, holy crap,really?
Why would you even want to dothat?
And then when the man passedaway, she still felt the same
damn way.
That is what I call a brokenrelationship.
(37:56):
It's beyond repair.
She tried, he didn't want togive in, and then what I think
was more ice on the cake is thathe supported the guy in the
White House, Trump.
So he died.
I don't think he died peaceably,I think he died uh alone, you
know, because his daughter saidshe wanted nothing to do with
him, even after this man died.
(38:16):
And that's sad.
That's not a legacy I want toleave for my kids.
I want my kids to be happy.
I want my kids to be, I wantthem to thrive and go out in
life and just be happy and dowhat they want to do.
I want them to find somebodythat is good enough for them.
So racism, though it may betaught in some cases, and there
are some kids who choose tostick with that and choose to
(38:39):
say, again, fear what they don'tknow.
Because when you fear what youdon't know and you start
speaking out a turn, not a lie,your skin color ain't gonna save
you no more.
Because why?
We don't want to hurt you, butwe will hurt you in a way that
is detrimental to you.
That means going after where youwork or where you live.
To us, that is justified, thatis what we call justice.
(39:03):
So we may not hit your pocketsdepending on what the situation
is, but we're gonna hit you insome way.
And is that okay?
Yeah, because why are you doingit the legal way?
The legal way.
So, you know, and I think that'swhat the smart approach is that
black folks are now taking.
Now they're doing things thelegal way, they're speaking out
on platforms and calling thisperson out.
(39:24):
You know, oh, this person didthis, this, this, this, this,
and me.
And I'll be damned.
TikTok is right on it, right onit.
So we're gonna get into thefollow-up of Miss Christina
because she gave me a follow-up,and we're going to see if things
(39:44):
changed or if things were kindof the same, if the relationship
is still strained.
Um, I hoped that it wouldchange.
Um, I hope that they are gonnabe a better family because of
this.
So, without further ado, let'sget into it.
Let me get some of my tea, myred diamond.
I love the red diamond.
(40:07):
So, this is the follow-up.
This is her response.
Icon, hello again.
I hope all is well with you.
I have an update to share withyou.
I would first like to say thankyou because you're an outsider
that has shared positivefeedback, and that and that what
(40:29):
I was that was what I waslooking for.
Even though I asked some of myfriends, I don't know if they
took it seriously.
I get it.
So here we go.
Upon me going back home, my momknew everything about my
husband.
Even though I'm a daddy's girl,my mom has always been a big
supporter of me.
So she kept the secret from mydad, which I'm sure wasn't easy
(40:51):
to do.
You'd be surprised, but youknow.
So we flew home, stayed thenight in a hotel, and then we
drove home.
I was nervous.
I was nervous for my husband,but he assured me that
everything would be okay, andthat there was nothing to worry
about.
We drove back home at 10 a.m.
(41:12):
in the morning, and thisgreeting was something I wasn't
expecting.
My dad came running out, runningout of the house like I just
returned home from war,immediately picked me up and
hugged me and said that he wasso happy to see me.
Then he went around to thedriver's side door, flung the
door open, told my husband toget out.
This is where we thought it wentwrong.
(41:32):
Get out the car.
And he gave his son-in-law themost biggest hug.
I was shocked.
I cried with tears of joy andhappiness.
I asked my mom, crying, is dadgoing blind?
She said, No.
I told him everything aboutwhat's been going on with you.
And I said, Mom, really?
(41:53):
I thought you said you can keepa secret.
Well, apparently she didn't.
So she said, I did, but but shesaid, I don't want no more
secrets in this family.
Okay, I understand that.
So I cried again, tears of joy.
Then came to our daughterJasmine again.
My dad quickly forgot about us,picked up his granddaughter, and
went to the house.
(42:14):
And I was like, Okay, I mean, mymom was so sneaky and clever,
but I knew we had one more herdacross, and that was grandpa.
But surprise, grandpa couldn'twait to see me because mom
didn't tell me that he wasalready there.
So the door opened, my grandpa'seyes got big, but I couldn't
(42:38):
tell if it was her anger orfear.
But neither, it was happiness.
Oh, okay.
It was happiness.
Let's let that sit for a minute.
It was happiness.
There's more to the story.
Give me just a second, I gottaget my screen back up.
Okay.
So, it was happiness.
(42:59):
He gave him the biggest hug andsaid, Welcome to our family.
And I asked my mom, is grandpaon something?
She laughed.
I was like, WTO, what the ishappening?
Then came to me, then he came tome and apologized for everything
he said was wrong, and he wantedno part of that life, but wanted
to live the rest of his lifefully embracing other cultures.
(43:21):
I assumed my mom and dad talkedto him and told him everything
because for the time we werethere, he was the grandpa I
wanted.
I felt so at ease, I swear,Icon, seeing his
great-granddaughter just meltedme with happiness.
So I say thank you.
Because of your kind words, myfamily is back together.
(43:42):
We haven't spoken anything elseabout related to the past.
So much that they are all movingto New Mexico to be closer to
us, and they love his cooking,and they want to see his
restaurant, but most of all,they wanted to be closer to us
so they can see theirgrandchild.
And there it is.
There's a happy ending, a silverlining.
(44:05):
Um, you know when I read that,it almost made me tear up
because that's what you wantfrom parents.
Parents to take accountabilityto understand that what they did
back in those days were wrong.
But if they can live and learnfrom it and grow up and be
happy, who are we to say thatthey don't deserve a second
(44:28):
chance?
They deserve every bit of asecond chance.
I believe everything she says inthis letter.
Grandpa changed his ways.
I believe that the fatherchanged his ways.
And I believe that because it'ssomething about older folks and
when they're um and when theirgrandchild has a child.
(44:50):
When you look into that child'seyes, you're like, this is the
future, this is what we want.
We want to do right by ourgrandchild or our great
grandchild.
God bless them for this.
God bless them for um speakingup.
God bless them for their familyturning this into something
positive.
Because we know that somefamilies don't have this
(45:13):
opportunity, some families justsit in pain and just let that
pain fester, and that pain justcontinues to consume them as
they get older until they diealone.
And I don't want that foranybody.
I don't.
It's just sad.
Um when I read this letter, Iwas like, man, that that's
really good.
And again, I am just somebody anoutsider looking in.
(45:36):
If I can help you, I can helpyou.
If I can try to put your familyback on track, I can do that.
I am an outsider looking in.
I'm an average person.
Um, I have seen and been throughwhat she's been through.
Um, I'm not trying to make thisall about me, but I dated a girl
who I thought when I was gonnamarry, she was the love of my
(45:58):
life, and I fell hard in lovewith her.
But her father, her father wasjust not into race mixing.
Her mother, I mean, embraced me.
The father, and she was astone-cold hard daddy's girl.
She was.
Um But knowing that, I don'tknow if she would have done
(46:21):
things differently.
Um I haven't since talked toher, but I think in this day and
age, um, especially if you'redeep in the country, that things
have just changed.
If you are listening to mypodcast and you feel that you
are racist or have been racist,maybe it's time for a change.
(46:43):
You know, there is no race thatis better than any other race.
You know, we all bleeddifferent.
We may look different, we mayfeel different, but we all bleed
the same.
Our blood is red on the inside.
Okay, so our skin color may bedifferent, we may be different
as a person or an individual,but just take the time to get to
know somebody, you know, as wesee that people are navigating
(47:09):
more and more towards you know,other cultures and trying to
understand other cultures, andthat's fine.
I have no problem with that.
And I know that in times thatwhere we feel that we have to be
uh assertive towards anotherrace, we really don't.
We really don't.
You can have a disagreement withsomebody, but as long as you
(47:32):
talk about it, it's better totalk than to start fighting.
What are we fighting for?
The only way you should startfighting is if this person put
their hands on you, spit on you,whatever.
That might warn an ass whooping.
But as far as me going to jailand you know getting audio
communication and getting umangry and trying to beat the
(47:53):
shit out of you, this that'sjust not that's just not my
thing.
It's not my thing, it's not whatI'm gonna do.
But I will protect my family,and you have every right to do
that.
So, what I want everybody totake away from this, if you are
listening to this podcast andyou feel that or you have been
(48:13):
wronged in your family, or youthink your family's wrong, or
you're not even talking to yourfamily, this is what I would
encourage you to do (48:18):
sit down and talk.
Talk to them.
I don't care what the situationis, because nothing is more
heartbreaking than knowing thatif they left this world
tomorrow, you wouldn't get tosay what you want to say.
You would the house would stillbe burning instead of you
putting the fire out.
It doesn't matter who's right,it doesn't matter who's wrong.
(48:41):
Come together, sit down, andtalk about it.
You know, parents now I thinkare a lot more understanding
than what they were back in theday.
Why?
Because they lived through somuch, and I get we may have been
hurt by somebody of the oppositerace, but that doesn't justify a
whole race.
It doesn't, it's no waypossible.
(49:04):
So stop letting people encourageyou by pushing the narrative
that all races are bad exceptthe white race.
It is not, no race is betterthan any other race.
We are all here as a peopletrying to live in peace and
harmony, but we know there aretwo sides to a coin.
We know that.
(49:30):
So kids completely change thingsas they get older, especially
when they start living their ownlives.
And for Miss Christina and herparents to do what they did, um,
I think that six years hasreally done something to their
family.
I mean, you heard them so goodthat they want to move closer to
(49:51):
be with them in New Mexico.
And I think that is a drastic,drastic measure to take, but a
good one.
Because they want to be with herand their grandchild.
And I think that's good.
I'm not saying Nebraska is asmall, one-minded town because
I'm pretty sure there's a goodthere's good parts of people in
(50:11):
Nebraska, but New Mexico, muchmore culturally diverse.
This gentleman has a restaurant,which I mean, I wish I knew the
name of this restaurant.
I try to see if I can come outthere, but let's be honest.
Yeah, no.
But and he's successful.
So I think while grandfatherwhile while the grandfather was
kind of setting his ways, he mayhave come around to some things.
(50:33):
And nothing says anything thatyou're like you're lonely when
you don't have your grandchildwith you.
That's just it's loneliness, andthis feeling a sense of
emptiness inside you, and it'slike eating away at you.
And then you have time toreflect and think like, what
have I done?
What did I do?
How can I fix this?
And I guarantee you, theconversation started with the
(50:54):
mother.
I'm almost positive it startedwith the mother.
I'm pretty sure she set them twodown and was like, Listen, I'm
not gonna lose my daughter, I'mnot gonna lose my grandchild
over your two stupidness.
I leave you both in a minute.
I mean, I can imagine what thatconversation was like, and it's
not the crazy thing, but themothers are the always the one
(51:16):
holding the glue in the family,they're always trying to keep
everybody together and make sureeverybody does right.
As I said, mothers and familiesare the very neutral party,
they're neutral, but they'refair.
And when I say they're fair,they are fair in not really
taking both sides, but makingboth sides see, well, you're
wrong for this and you're wrongfor that, and then collectively,
collectively bringing themtogether and saying that hey, we
(51:38):
need to work on this and we'regoing to work on this.
And as a family, we're gonna bethat family, we're gonna be a
strong family and we're gonnastay together as a family.
We're not going to uh gobackwards, we're gonna go
forward.
So, I don't know what thepolitics in that family is.
I mean, I can only imagine, butit is what it is.
(51:58):
So, it's good when a family isback on track.
It's good that a family can sitand talk rather than just you
know be at each other's throatsor let this fester for so long
to that when you die, you didn'thave a chance to say anything to
that person.
Because what happens when aperson is die?
We often live in regret, we takeblame and say, Well, I should
(52:19):
have done this, I should havedone that.
I know that there are somefamilies who don't have what
Miss Christina's family has.
I understand that, I get that.
Maybe start small.
I'm not saying jump right intothe pool and you don't know how
to swim.
I'm saying take the appropriateactions, sit down and talk.
Um, sit down and just try tomaybe understand, understand
(52:44):
what this person was doing waswrong.
And then after they say whatthey're doing is wrong, if they
can take ownership of it andsay, Well, you know, I'm open to
changing my ways.
If they can change their way,they can change.
You know, that's that's thething.
I think people can change ifthey want to change.
I think people can change theway they that they are if
(53:06):
they're racist or if they haveracist ways.
I have some racist ways, butlet's be real clear, I don't
like confrontation.
I will talk to you first to seeif we can get some kind of
resolution.
But with that being said, if youcome after my kids, then we have
a problem.
A huge problem.
Again, you'll be pushing updaisies by dawn.
(53:28):
Real talk.
So while I think racism is gonnastill exist, it is up to us as
people to say how we can moveforward from it.
Do we need to fight?
Do I need to go to jail?
Do I need to do anything?
No, we don't.
We don't.
No, no.
(53:50):
As we see on TikTok, the peopleget called out at their racism.
They are living in regretbecause they feel hurt.
And what's bad is that they'rein a community that a community
doesn't even want them there.
You know, we've seen that thisadministration has kind of taken
its toll on races.
You know, they're trying to pitus against each other for what?
(54:10):
They want a race war.
We're not gonna give them thesatisfaction of a race war.
We're going to be people ofsmart, people of peace, and
people of intelligence.
We're going to hurt you, butwe're going to hit you where it
hurts.
It might hit you in your pocketor your career.
That is the satisfaction againof that's making us happy.
Because knowing that you don'thave this job anymore, you have
(54:31):
to sit and wonder if anybody'sgoing to hire you or put up with
you.
That's that's all thesatisfaction I need.
That's all the satisfaction Iwant.
Real talk.
So again, if you are somebodywho listens to my show, you are
(54:53):
dealing with something with yourfamily that you think is beyond
repair or beyond approach, Iwould challenge you.
You can reach out to me, we cantalk about it.
Maybe we can come on the showand have a full conversation
about it.
I don't know.
But I'm happy that this letterhad an happy ending.
As I said before, we see parentslike this, it doesn't end well.
(55:15):
And it's hard when your child isnot with you because it's
something that I think it's abig it's a big deal to them.
But to me, it kind of could havegone the other way had
grandfather kind of just said,well, hey, I'm sorry for this,
you know, this is what he saidwhat it was, but and then he
didn't apologize until she cameback.
(55:36):
At least he apologized.
At least he did.
And I hope that he has a out abetter outlook on life in
reference to the other cultures,the race, because this world is
filled with other cultures.
You know, when I go to thePhilippines, um, I wasn't shown
not one ounce of racism there,partially in part because it's a
(56:00):
one-culture town or one culturecountry, because there's not
that many races there.
But when we come, when I come tothe Philippines, I'm treated
like I'm like like royalty.
I mean, godly, it's beautiful,and not all cultures are like
that, and I understand thatbecause some cultures want to
remain their one culture town ortheir one culture country, but
(56:22):
other cultures enrich othercultures.
Black culture enriches a lot ofcultures.
We do a lot of good things inthis world, we create a lot of
good things in this world.
Again, no race is better thanthe other race.
We are simply just trying tolive and trying to live in peace
and trying to be happy.
We know that there are somecommunities that are just
(56:43):
horrible and just riddled withviolence, and I wish the best
for those people.
But again, it may be a black uha black race, a black race, or a
white race, or Mexican race, orany other race.
Again, nobody is better thananybody.
So we must look to each other,and I and I and I see this a
(57:05):
lot, I see a lot of uprising,and you know, people trying to
come together and say, Well,we're not doing this anymore.
And that's a good thing.
So, parents, if you listen to mypodcast, you have kids that want
to date outside their race,encourage them to date and feel
how they want to feel.
They can fall in love withanybody who they choose to fall
(57:26):
in love with.
You can't control that.
Because if you keep trying tokeep them away from it, I
guarantee you they're gonnanavigate to that, and you'll be
pissed, but they'll be happy.
And in the interest of you beingpissed, you're gonna lose the
very child that you love themost.
Because we see some kids justdon't ever come back from it.
(57:47):
They don't, they call theirparents out, like, oh, he's
never gonna change, never gonnado this.
But it's gonna be too late foryou to change because meanwhile,
while they're going on withlife, you're still sitting at
home grumpy and mad as hellbecause your child ran off with
somebody of the opposite race.
And I don't even care what racethat is, I don't.
I don't.
I don't know what it is aboutthe black men that white white
(58:10):
fathers fear the most.
Stop watching shit on TV thatyou think that we're all
connected, because we're not allconnected.
We don't feel that way wheny'all do shit.
I damn sure don't.
I look like, oh my god, wedon't.
There are some things we want todo in this world and let's live
in peace.
We can't help that we were bornwith this color.
(58:32):
This is the way God made us,this is the way God made all
people.
But the smart thing and theright thing to do is just to
embrace.
If you can embrace it, if youcan try to understand it, do
that.
Ask all the questions you wantto ask.
But don't go for a second andtell your child, no, we are
racist, just stay together.
(58:53):
No, that's what we were here todo.
We're here, no, you're not,you're not.
Your child is an extension ofyou.
Would you rather your child bewith somebody abusive?
Or would you rather your childbe with somebody who was smart
and it always has their back?
It doesn't matter if it's maleor female, either way it goes,
(59:14):
hey, it's what it is.
So as we get ready to close theshow out, I want to say thank
(59:35):
you.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being part of myaudience.
As you guys know, um, you canlisten to this podcast anywhere
that is streaming.
Um, let's talk about it.
Uh, I'm on Amazon, I'm onSpotify, I'm on all of it.
(59:55):
So, I want to say thank you forlistening, thank you for tuning
in.
Um podcast drops everyWednesday, like clockwork.
Although I've been getting someletters and saying that we need
you to drop more during theweek.
Well, I got two jobs.
You know, I do this for fun.
Um, before I go, I also had arequest from a young lady.
(01:00:22):
Hold on here.
Let me see if I can find it.
Um, hang on, hang on.
I'm trying to find it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:00:37):
I don't know if I can find it.
No, that's not it.
That's not it, that's not it.
SPEAKER_02 (01:00:44):
Okay.
So we had a listener um in thespirit of Halloween.
I don't know why, because thisepisode has nothing to do with
Halloween, but um in the spiritof Halloween, um, her name was
wait, where is it?
Oh, her name was Ashley.
Ashley emailed me and said thatshe wanted me to repost an
episode um that she thought wasfunny.
(01:01:07):
Um, this episode is called TheLiving Dead.
Um, Ashley, if you're listeningto this podcast, I will repost
it.
I will repost it.
Um, this episode was about um aguy who was dating a girl who
clearly thought she was tryingto mimic a zombie just in case
she got bit.
(01:01:27):
But we all know that shit ain'ttrue.
Ain't no zombies here.
So the episode is called TheLiving Dead.
Um, and I will repost thisAshley.
And for those of you guys whowant to listen to it, who are
free to listen to it, um, thiswas an episode I did last year
um that got a lot of hits off ofit, and a lot of people are
like, Well, she is she'sserious.
(01:01:47):
I guess she was.
Um, we never got a follow-up tothat, so I don't know if they're
together, if they're nottogether, but clearly it
explains the situation that umshe was just trying to you know
I don't know, it's weird.
So if you guys get a chance,listen to it.
So, as I said before, thank youguys for listening.
(01:02:08):
I'm the icon, the show is calledLet's Talk About It.
Uh, again, links will be in thedescription.
Um, anywhere you listen topodcasts, feel free to get it
on.
So for for right now, we'regonna let y'all groove to this
last track, uh, sugarcoat byJovi.
And thank you.
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