September 30, 2024 • 12 mins
What happens when a job interview turns into an ethical quagmire? Join us as we unravel the story of a fellow fundraiser who faced an unsettling request during a job interview: to bring specific donors along to a new organization. This episode digs deep into the ethical complexities and challenges fundraisers face, especially when moving between jobs. We emphasize the critical need for genuine donor relationships, treating donors as partners in philanthropy rather than assets to be moved. Discover why maintaining ethical boundaries and focusing on long-term, sustainable growth is paramount in fundraising.
Professional boundaries are essential for ensuring the integrity and effectiveness of fundraising efforts. By staying true to our mission and fostering authentic connections, we drive meaningful change and enhance our impact. This episode encourages listeners to share their own experiences and stories, reinforcing the collective effort to align fundraising with the values and causes that inspire us. Tune in for compelling insights on nurturing donor relationships and remaining committed to ethical stewardship in the world of fundraising. Let's continue to build lasting connections and make a difference together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Keith Greer, CFRE (00:05):
Hey, there, hi, and welcome back to let's
Talk Fundraising.
The other day I was talkingwith a fellow fundraiser who was
searching for a new job.
They were excited about theorganization they were
interviewing with.
It was doing great work in thecommunity, it aligned with their
values and beliefs andeverything was going great until
their third interview wherethey met with the CEO.
(00:26):
In the middle of the interview,the CEO asks so which donors
are you going to bring to ourorganization?
My friend replies well, theones that I'll bring are the
ones that have an affinity forthe kind of work that you're
doing.
I'll do a lot of visits withyour existing donor base, ask
for introductions to people thatthey think would be aligned
with your work and then startdiscovery visits to see if
(00:48):
there's an alignment betweentheir philanthropic values and
what your organization is doing.
The CEO, unhappy with thisanswer, clarifies no, that's not
what I was asking.
If we're going to be paying youas much as you're asking for, I
want to know the names of thedonors you're bringing from the
organization and how much youthink they'll give to us.
(01:09):
I want to make sure you'reworth the money.
Ultimately, my friend realizedthis was not the leader that
they wanted to work with, and itled to a lot of conversations
between us about the differenttypes of relationships we build
when we're fundraising.
What kind of relationships areethical to forge, what are lines
we don't ever want to cross,and how do we manage some of
(01:31):
those tricky conversations?
If we are taking donors with usevery time we leave an
organization and redirectingtheir money elsewhere, we are
not only failing theorganizations that hired us to
help them organizations that wewere once passionate about
supporting but we're doing areal disservice to the donors
because we're treating them asour goal makers rather than
(01:54):
helping them achieve theirphilanthropic dreams.
And this is where things gettricky right.
As fundraisers, we walk a fineline between relationship
building and ethical stewardship.
Donors are not chess pieces tobe moved around from one board
to another.
When an organization hires you,it's because they believe you
can help align their missionwith the philanthropic goals of
(02:16):
individuals who share theirvalues.
Our jobs are to create thatconnection, not to treat donors
like personal assets.
Jobs are to create thatconnection, not to treat donors
like personal assets.
I've seen it time and timeagain Leaders and even some
fundraisers will blur thisboundary, focusing on immediate
(02:38):
wins rather than long-term,sustainable growth.
But if you're shifting donorsfrom one place to the next based
on where you're employed,you're not being a steward of
their goals and, worse, you'reeroding trust.
The challenge becomes how tocommunicate this.
When faced with that kind ofpressure, it's not uncommon to
meet CEOs or board members whothink your primary value is tied
to the specific names you candrop or the checks you can bring
(03:00):
in quickly.
When that happens, it'simportant to push back and say
my job is to cultivate therelationship between your
organization and the donor, notbetween me personally and the
donor.
That's the conversation we needto have more often.
How do we advocate forlong-term relationship building
in environments focused onshort-term metrics?
(03:21):
How do we change that narrativeso our leaders, boards and
colleagues understand thatsustainable fundraising isn't
about poaching donors, but aboutnurturing a true alignment
between a donor's passion andthe organization's mission?
Ultimately, it's about playingthe long game.
Are we in it for quick wins orare we building something that
(03:42):
will last long after we're gone?
That's what makes this work someaningful knowing that we're
not just securing funds for acampaign, but we're building a
foundation of trust that willsupport the organization's work
for years to come.
But what happens when thoselines blur?
You know what I'm talking about, when a professional
relationship with a donor startsto feel more personal than it
(04:04):
should.
It happens sometimes without useven realizing it.
We've cultivated a connectionthat goes beyond the mission
we're representing.
Suddenly we're being invited tospend holidays with the donor's
family, or even vacation withthem family or even vacation
with them.
Now let me be clear.
Building strong, meaningfulrelationships with donors is
part of what makes fundraisingso special.
(04:24):
We get to meet incrediblepeople who care deeply about the
same causes we do, andsometimes those shared values
spark real friendships.
But as fundraisers it'sessential that we ask ourselves
where do we draw the line?
When the relationship becomestoo personal, we risk losing
focus on our role as stewards.
We're no longer just advocatesfor the organization.
(04:46):
We're navigating a personalrelationship that can come with
expectations and complications.
Maybe the donor starts askingfor special treatment or more
influence over decisions withinthe organization.
Maybe their expectations foraccess go beyond what's
appropriate.
These moments can sneak up on usbecause the lines were never
clearly defined to begin with,and trust me, it's tough.
(05:09):
You don't want to hurtsomeone's feelings or seem
ungrateful for their generosity.
But maintaining thatprofessional boundary is
critical.
Otherwise it becomes harder tomake unbiased decisions about
how to engage them in theorganization's work.
It can even get to the pointwhere the donor's feelings and
relationship with you start toovershadow their connection to
(05:30):
the cause.
That's not fair to theorganization or the donor who
came into this wanting to make adifference, not become our
social companion.
So how do we manage thesesituations when they arise?
It starts with setting clearboundaries early on.
When our donor invites us intotheir personal life, it's okay
(05:50):
to gently remind them that ourrelationship is built on shared
support for the organization.
We could say something like I'mso grateful for our partnership
in this mission, but I thinkit's important we keep our focus
on the work we're doingtogether.
It's not always easy, but inthe long run we're preserving
the integrity of the donor'srelationship with the
(06:11):
organization.
And when those lines blur,despite our best intentions,
that's when we've got to do someself-reflection.
Best intentions, that's whenwe've got to do some
self-reflection.
It might mean having aconversation with our
supervisors or another colleagueto get an outside perspective
on how to course correct,sometimes even talking to the
donor, expressing that while youvalue the friendship that's
developed, your professionalresponsibility is to the mission
(06:34):
, it can help realign things.
We need to remember that blurredlines can also put us as
fundraisers in a tough spotemotionally.
When the relationship feelspersonal, it's easy to take it
hard if that donor stops givingor pulls their support
altogether.
But if you've stayed focused onconnecting them to the mission
rather than to yourself, you'vedone your job, whether they
(06:57):
continue giving or not.
At its core, we settled thatthe relationship we, as
fundraisers, should be formingwith donors should not be the
relationship between us asindividuals and the donor.
The relationship we should bebuilding demands that we are
acting as stewards of therelationship between the donor
and the organization that hiredus.
(07:17):
And look, I get it.
Setting boundaries isn't alwayseasy, but here's the thing
Boundaries are what allow us todo our job well without getting
overwhelmed.
When we build relationships withdonors, especially those who
become deeply invested in ourmission, we have to keep the
lines clear.
So how do we do that?
First, think about the littlethings.
(07:40):
Establishing professional normsfrom the get-go can make all
the difference.
For example, if a donor startstexting you at all hours or
wants to have long personalchats, it's perfectly okay to
politely redirect theconversation back to the mission
and the organization.
You could say something like Iappreciate your enthusiasm for
this project.
Let's schedule a time duringwork hours to dive deeper.
(08:03):
Simple, right.
You don't need to be rigid orcold, just clear.
We also want to avoidsituations where we're receiving
overly personal gifts orinvitations that feel too
intimate, like spending aholiday together or going on
vacation.
When that happens, it's totallyokay to say thank you so much
for the offer, but I think it'simportant we keep our
(08:24):
relationship focused on the workwe're doing here.
It's tough, but that boundaryensures the donor understands
that their connection is withthe organization and not just
with us.
Second, when we're feelingpressure to deliver quick wins
maybe from a CEO, a board oreven ourselves it's important to
communicate the value oflong-term relationship building.
(08:45):
I always say fundraising is amarathon, not a sprint.
If you're ever asked to dropnames or predict exact dollar
amounts from personal donorconnections, push back and
remind leadership that truephilanthropic support comes from
cultivating relationshipsaround shared values.
It's about building somethingsustainable.
Now self-care this is key.
(09:08):
When we get too personallyinvolved with donors, it can
take an emotional toll on us.
Suddenly their decisions feellike personal successes or
failures, and that's a lot ofpressure.
If you're ever feeling likeyour work has blurred into your
personal life, it's okay to stepback and get some perspective.
Talk it through with asupervisor or a trusted
(09:28):
colleague.
Sometimes we need that externalviewpoint to remind us of the
bigger picture.
We are stewards of the donor'srelationship with the
organization, not with us asindividuals.
And here's a final takeawayThink about your current donor
relationships.
Are there any that feel alittle too personal?
Maybe there's one that feelsmore like a friendship than a
(09:50):
professional connection.
Take a moment to reflect.
Are the lines still clear?
If not, it's okay to have aconversation with the donor, or
even with your leadership, toreset the boundaries.
You don't have to feel guiltyabout it.
In fact, by refocusing therelationship on the
organization's mission, you'redoing what's best for everyone
(10:10):
involved.
It's about balance because, atthe end of the day, the most
successful fundraisingrelationships are the ones where
the donor is fully engaged withthe mission and we as
fundraisers are serving as theirguide, not their personal
confident.
Remember the work we do ispowerful because it brings
people together in service of acause greater than any one of us
(10:31):
.
So let's keep the focus there.
And here's what I want to leaveyou with.
This work we do is built ontrust, on authenticity and on a
shared commitment to somethingbigger than ourselves.
As fundraisers, we are in aunique position to help donors
realize their philanthropicdreams while making a tangible
difference in the world.
That's powerful, but let's notforget that our role is to guide
(10:56):
them toward that mission, notto be the center of their giving
.
When we keep the focus on thecause, when we maintain those
professional boundaries, we'redoing right by the donor, by the
organization and ultimately, byourselves.
So the next time you findyourself navigating a tricky
situation, remember settingboundaries doesn't make you less
(11:16):
effective.
Remember setting boundariesdoesn't make you less effective.
In fact, it strengthens theintegrity of the relationship
and allows you to do your bestwork, making a lasting impact.
So you've got this Keepnurturing those connections,
stay grounded in your values andtrust that by being true to
your mission, you're buildingsomething that will stand the
test of time.
(11:36):
You're making real, meaningfulchange in the world, and that's
worth everything.
Thanks so much for joining meon this episode.
Let's keep the conversationgoing, share your thoughts, your
stories and your experiences,because together we can keep
fundraising focused on whatmatters most, the causes that
inspire us and the people we'rehere to serve.
(11:57):
Until next time, keep up thegood work.
Hey, there, hi, and welcome back to let's
Talk Fundraising.
The other day I was talkingwith a fellow fundraiser who was
searching for a new job.
They were excited about theorganization they were
interviewing with.
It was doing great work in thecommunity, it aligned with their
values and beliefs andeverything was going great until
their third interview wherethey met with the CEO.
(00:26):
In the middle of the interview,the CEO asks so which donors
are you going to bring to ourorganization?
My friend replies well, theones that I'll bring are the
ones that have an affinity forthe kind of work that you're
doing.
I'll do a lot of visits withyour existing donor base, ask
for introductions to people thatthey think would be aligned
with your work and then startdiscovery visits to see if
(00:48):
there's an alignment betweentheir philanthropic values and
what your organization is doing.
The CEO, unhappy with thisanswer, clarifies no, that's not
what I was asking.
If we're going to be paying youas much as you're asking for, I
want to know the names of thedonors you're bringing from the
organization and how much youthink they'll give to us.
(01:09):
I want to make sure you'reworth the money.
Ultimately, my friend realizedthis was not the leader that
they wanted to work with, and itled to a lot of conversations
between us about the differenttypes of relationships we build
when we're fundraising.
What kind of relationships areethical to forge, what are lines
we don't ever want to cross,and how do we manage some of
(01:31):
those tricky conversations?
If we are taking donors with usevery time we leave an
organization and redirectingtheir money elsewhere, we are
not only failing theorganizations that hired us to
help them organizations that wewere once passionate about
supporting but we're doing areal disservice to the donors
because we're treating them asour goal makers rather than
(01:54):
helping them achieve theirphilanthropic dreams.
And this is where things gettricky right.
As fundraisers, we walk a fineline between relationship
building and ethical stewardship.
Donors are not chess pieces tobe moved around from one board
to another.
When an organization hires you,it's because they believe you
can help align their missionwith the philanthropic goals of
(02:16):
individuals who share theirvalues.
Our jobs are to create thatconnection, not to treat donors
like personal assets.
Jobs are to create thatconnection, not to treat donors
like personal assets.
I've seen it time and timeagain Leaders and even some
fundraisers will blur thisboundary, focusing on immediate
(02:38):
wins rather than long-term,sustainable growth.
But if you're shifting donorsfrom one place to the next based
on where you're employed,you're not being a steward of
their goals and, worse, you'reeroding trust.
The challenge becomes how tocommunicate this.
When faced with that kind ofpressure, it's not uncommon to
meet CEOs or board members whothink your primary value is tied
to the specific names you candrop or the checks you can bring
(03:00):
in quickly.
When that happens, it'simportant to push back and say
my job is to cultivate therelationship between your
organization and the donor, notbetween me personally and the
donor.
That's the conversation we needto have more often.
How do we advocate forlong-term relationship building
in environments focused onshort-term metrics?
(03:21):
How do we change that narrativeso our leaders, boards and
colleagues understand thatsustainable fundraising isn't
about poaching donors, but aboutnurturing a true alignment
between a donor's passion andthe organization's mission?
Ultimately, it's about playingthe long game.
Are we in it for quick wins orare we building something that
(03:42):
will last long after we're gone?
That's what makes this work someaningful knowing that we're
not just securing funds for acampaign, but we're building a
foundation of trust that willsupport the organization's work
for years to come.
But what happens when thoselines blur?
You know what I'm talking about, when a professional
relationship with a donor startsto feel more personal than it
(04:04):
should.
It happens sometimes without useven realizing it.
We've cultivated a connectionthat goes beyond the mission
we're representing.
Suddenly we're being invited tospend holidays with the donor's
family, or even vacation withthem family or even vacation
with them.
Now let me be clear.
Building strong, meaningfulrelationships with donors is
part of what makes fundraisingso special.
(04:24):
We get to meet incrediblepeople who care deeply about the
same causes we do, andsometimes those shared values
spark real friendships.
But as fundraisers it'sessential that we ask ourselves
where do we draw the line?
When the relationship becomestoo personal, we risk losing
focus on our role as stewards.
We're no longer just advocatesfor the organization.
(04:46):
We're navigating a personalrelationship that can come with
expectations and complications.
Maybe the donor starts askingfor special treatment or more
influence over decisions withinthe organization.
Maybe their expectations foraccess go beyond what's
appropriate.
These moments can sneak up on usbecause the lines were never
clearly defined to begin with,and trust me, it's tough.
(05:09):
You don't want to hurtsomeone's feelings or seem
ungrateful for their generosity.
But maintaining thatprofessional boundary is
critical.
Otherwise it becomes harder tomake unbiased decisions about
how to engage them in theorganization's work.
It can even get to the pointwhere the donor's feelings and
relationship with you start toovershadow their connection to
(05:30):
the cause.
That's not fair to theorganization or the donor who
came into this wanting to make adifference, not become our
social companion.
So how do we manage thesesituations when they arise?
It starts with setting clearboundaries early on.
When our donor invites us intotheir personal life, it's okay
(05:50):
to gently remind them that ourrelationship is built on shared
support for the organization.
We could say something like I'mso grateful for our partnership
in this mission, but I thinkit's important we keep our focus
on the work we're doingtogether.
It's not always easy, but inthe long run we're preserving
the integrity of the donor'srelationship with the
(06:11):
organization.
And when those lines blur,despite our best intentions,
that's when we've got to do someself-reflection.
Best intentions, that's whenwe've got to do some
self-reflection.
It might mean having aconversation with our
supervisors or another colleagueto get an outside perspective
on how to course correct,sometimes even talking to the
donor, expressing that while youvalue the friendship that's
developed, your professionalresponsibility is to the mission
(06:34):
, it can help realign things.
We need to remember that blurredlines can also put us as
fundraisers in a tough spotemotionally.
When the relationship feelspersonal, it's easy to take it
hard if that donor stops givingor pulls their support
altogether.
But if you've stayed focused onconnecting them to the mission
rather than to yourself, you'vedone your job, whether they
(06:57):
continue giving or not.
At its core, we settled thatthe relationship we, as
fundraisers, should be formingwith donors should not be the
relationship between us asindividuals and the donor.
The relationship we should bebuilding demands that we are
acting as stewards of therelationship between the donor
and the organization that hiredus.
(07:17):
And look, I get it.
Setting boundaries isn't alwayseasy, but here's the thing
Boundaries are what allow us todo our job well without getting
overwhelmed.
When we build relationships withdonors, especially those who
become deeply invested in ourmission, we have to keep the
lines clear.
So how do we do that?
First, think about the littlethings.
(07:40):
Establishing professional normsfrom the get-go can make all
the difference.
For example, if a donor startstexting you at all hours or
wants to have long personalchats, it's perfectly okay to
politely redirect theconversation back to the mission
and the organization.
You could say something like Iappreciate your enthusiasm for
this project.
Let's schedule a time duringwork hours to dive deeper.
(08:03):
Simple, right.
You don't need to be rigid orcold, just clear.
We also want to avoidsituations where we're receiving
overly personal gifts orinvitations that feel too
intimate, like spending aholiday together or going on
vacation.
When that happens, it's totallyokay to say thank you so much
for the offer, but I think it'simportant we keep our
(08:24):
relationship focused on the workwe're doing here.
It's tough, but that boundaryensures the donor understands
that their connection is withthe organization and not just
with us.
Second, when we're feelingpressure to deliver quick wins
maybe from a CEO, a board oreven ourselves it's important to
communicate the value oflong-term relationship building.
(08:45):
I always say fundraising is amarathon, not a sprint.
If you're ever asked to dropnames or predict exact dollar
amounts from personal donorconnections, push back and
remind leadership that truephilanthropic support comes from
cultivating relationshipsaround shared values.
It's about building somethingsustainable.
Now self-care this is key.
(09:08):
When we get too personallyinvolved with donors, it can
take an emotional toll on us.
Suddenly their decisions feellike personal successes or
failures, and that's a lot ofpressure.
If you're ever feeling likeyour work has blurred into your
personal life, it's okay to stepback and get some perspective.
Talk it through with asupervisor or a trusted
(09:28):
colleague.
Sometimes we need that externalviewpoint to remind us of the
bigger picture.
We are stewards of the donor'srelationship with the
organization, not with us asindividuals.
And here's a final takeawayThink about your current donor
relationships.
Are there any that feel alittle too personal?
Maybe there's one that feelsmore like a friendship than a
(09:50):
professional connection.
Take a moment to reflect.
Are the lines still clear?
If not, it's okay to have aconversation with the donor, or
even with your leadership, toreset the boundaries.
You don't have to feel guiltyabout it.
In fact, by refocusing therelationship on the
organization's mission, you'redoing what's best for everyone
(10:10):
involved.
It's about balance because, atthe end of the day, the most
successful fundraisingrelationships are the ones where
the donor is fully engaged withthe mission and we as
fundraisers are serving as theirguide, not their personal
confident.
Remember the work we do ispowerful because it brings
people together in service of acause greater than any one of us
(10:31):
.
So let's keep the focus there.
And here's what I want to leaveyou with.
This work we do is built ontrust, on authenticity and on a
shared commitment to somethingbigger than ourselves.
As fundraisers, we are in aunique position to help donors
realize their philanthropicdreams while making a tangible
difference in the world.
That's powerful, but let's notforget that our role is to guide
(10:56):
them toward that mission, notto be the center of their giving
.
When we keep the focus on thecause, when we maintain those
professional boundaries, we'redoing right by the donor, by the
organization and ultimately, byourselves.
So the next time you findyourself navigating a tricky
situation, remember settingboundaries doesn't make you less
(11:16):
effective.
Remember setting boundariesdoesn't make you less effective.
In fact, it strengthens theintegrity of the relationship
and allows you to do your bestwork, making a lasting impact.
So you've got this Keepnurturing those connections,
stay grounded in your values andtrust that by being true to
your mission, you're buildingsomething that will stand the
test of time.
(11:36):
You're making real, meaningfulchange in the world, and that's
worth everything.
Thanks so much for joining meon this episode.
Let's keep the conversationgoing, share your thoughts, your
stories and your experiences,because together we can keep
fundraising focused on whatmatters most, the causes that
inspire us and the people we'rehere to serve.
(11:57):
Until next time, keep up thegood work.
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