The Gottmans - Turning Conflict into Connection

In this episode of Let’s Talk Love, Robin has the incredible honor of speaking with two of the world’s leading relationship experts, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman. With decades of groundbreaking research, the Gottmans have transformed our understanding of love, offering science-backed insights into what makes relationships thrive.

Their latest book, Fight Right, reframes conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than something to fear. In this conversation, they share practical tools for navigating disagreements with trust, curiosity, and mutual respect. Robin and the Gottmans explore different conflict styles, the importance of maintaining a strong foundation of positive interactions, and how to repair and reconnect after difficult moments.

Whether you're navigating everyday disagreements or deeper relationship challenges, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you and your partner strengthen your bond—even when you don’t see eye to eye. And for those joining In Bloom: A Love & Relationships Summit this April, you’ll have the chance to learn from the Gottmans in person!

Takeaways:

• Relationships can be improved with learned skills.
• Conflict is not inherently dysfunctional; it can be constructive.
• Softened startups in conflict discussions lead to better outcomes.
• Understanding your partner's dreams can resolve gridlock conflicts.
• 69% of relationship problems are perpetual and unsolvable.
• Curiosity about your partner is essential for long-term relationships.
• There are key questions you can ask to deepen understanding in conflicts.
• Mutual understanding is the ultimate goal in conflict resolution.
• The ratio of positive to negative statements during conflict is crucial.
• All three conflict styles can be successful with the right approach.
• Missed bids for connection often lead to unnecessary conflicts.
• Trust means considering your partner's perspective when making decisions.
• Commitment involves addressing issues directly with your partner.
• Regrettable incidents should be processed thoughtfully, not rushed.
• Understanding each other's vulnerabilities fosters deeper connections.

Join Us at In Bloom 2025 🌸

Want to learn directly from Drs. John & Julie Gottman? Don’t miss In Bloom: A Love & Relationships Summit this April in Vancouver! Join us in person or virtually for a transformational weekend with the world’s top relationship experts. Dive deeper into the science of love, gain practical tools, and connect with a like-minded community.

🎟 Get 15% off your ticket with code LETSTALKLOVE at www.inbloomsummit.com.

We want to hear from you! Send us your anonymous questions for the Podcast as well as our weekly IG Live Ask The Experts Q&A. https://realloveready.com/submitaquestion

Links:

https://www.gottman.com/

www.inbloomsummit.com

https://www.gottman.com/product/fight-right/

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Watch the podcast on YouTube: youtube.com/realloveready

Credits: the Let’s Talk Love Podcast is hosted by Robin Ducharme, recorded