Boost Your Pet Parent Empathy to Reduce Pet Trauma During Routine and Urgent Care

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to let's Talk to Animals.
My name is Shannon Cutts.
I'm an animal sensitive andintuitive, a Reiki master
practitioner and an animalcommunication teacher, and if
you're watching the videoversion, you are meeting my
ever-present, feathered sidekick, petal Cutts, who is my
enthusiastic co-host, emcee andmaestro of special effects.

(00:20):
And here today on the podcast,we have a very special treat.
I have a friend with me.
Her name is Paola and I'm goingto share just a little bit
about her.
So welcome, paola.
We are so delighted to have you.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hello Shannon.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I'm so happy to be here, Paola is the holistic cat
specialist and we are going tobe talking about boosting pet
parent empathy to reduce pettrauma.
That's a mouthful right.
About boosting pet parentempathy to reduce pet trauma.
That's a mouthful right.
Boosting pet parent empathy.
Empathy meaning to feel as ifor to suffer with, literally to
take a walk in our animal's pawsor claws or wings or feathers

(00:57):
or shell.
And Paola's specialty is cats,but she is certainly so empathic
to all animals and all ofnature.
Cats, but she is certainly soempathic to all animals and all
of nature.
And she has a specialty to helppet parents, help their felines
to find calm when we're dealingwith what we might want to call
day-to-day trauma, necessarythings, crating for the car, vet

(01:19):
visits, recovery after illnessor injury, special needs,
special health issues.
Paolo is actually a doctor inpsychology.
She's trained in advancedfeline behavior management,
nutrition and holistic care.
She's certified by the AmericanAssociation of Veterinary State
Boards as a holistic pet healthcoach and she has a beautiful

(01:41):
membership, as well as herprivate practice and her
teaching, where you can learnabout how to create a continuity
of care for your cats that isstress and trauma free for you
both.
Now I'm going to post Paola'sfull bio, because it's really
fun to read through and you'renot going to want to miss it.
So I'll post that in the shownotes.

(02:01):
But today I want to dive rightin and we are going to help you,
especially if you're a felineparent.
But even if you don't have catsin the home, if you have birds
or turtles or dogs or horses, Iwant you to try this same
perspective on for size to takea walk in your pets day to day
and in those special daysspecial with air quotes, days

(02:25):
when we are facing down a vetvisit or obedience training or
enforcing the household rules ordoor dashers or standing on the
counters where there might bedangers, such as hot liquids or
a hot stove and we're going totake a walk through our world
looking through your pet's eyesand experiencing it through

(02:48):
their perspective.
So, paola, welcome.
I am so excited to have youhere on let's Talk to Animals
and I want to open up theconversation with a little
exploration of your uniqueapproach to pet parent empathy
how the pet parents and the catparents that you serve have

(03:11):
experienced breakthrough momentsin understanding their own
pet's perspective.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Hi Shannon again, and I'm really, really excited to
be here talking about this.
This is one of my favoritetopics because everybody is
happy to have cats when they arehappy and content and there is
no trouble on the horizon.
But when there is somethinggoing on and they're facing a
crisis, and whether it is abehavior crisis or a health

(03:41):
crisis and things need to be putin place, that's when things
get stressful for cat parentsand especially.
Cats are in this veryparticular position where they
occupy our house and ourenvironment in a very special
way.
They can climb furniture, theycan climb places, they love to

(04:03):
climb places.
In fact, they livethree-dimensionally.
So dogs are a little bit moreon the ground, they live in two
dimensions, but cats are verymuch.
They're very much everywhere inthe house and they can hide
very well.
And famous is the story ofpeople trying to find their cats

(04:24):
and going out thinking thatthey have escaped, and hours,
maybe days later sometimes theycome out of the cupboard going
what's the matter?
I was just thinking it.
I hope it's not days later,because they would have not been
eating, but yes, it's somethingthat we need to keep in mind
that they occupy our space in avery special way.

(04:44):
It's something that we need tokeep in mind that they occupy
our space in a very special way.
So, yes, I think one of thebiggest shifts that I see in the
cat guardians that I work withis when they stop seeing or
simply needs that have been notmet, because we share an

(05:09):
environment that is human-madeand we need to make a bit of
effort to make it so that ourcats live in this environment
with us in a way that theirneeds are met, because these
beautiful creatures I know I'mbiased, but because I love cats,
obviously but these beautifulcreatures are wild at heart and

(05:35):
they are happy to share theenvironment with us, which is
really really they're doing us afavor, because they use the
litter box most of the time andwhen their needs are met, they
use the litter box without failand they eat from the bowl that
we provide or the mat that weprovide, and they simply ask in

(06:09):
return that we supply thatenvironment that stimulates
their needs and their life in away that is acceptable.
But they are really good atmixing with us in a human-made
environment and, of course, somepeople like to let their cats
out to roam free because theybelieve that they are so wild
and they are so independent,which they are independent at

(06:31):
heart.
They are wild at heart, butthey're also in a place where
sometimes dangers are lurkingeverywhere.
So we need to make a compromiseat that point where we
definitely need to ensure thatthey are stimulated and the
environment is diverse, but wealso need to keep in mind the
risks and the safety that itinvolves to have them as pets,

(06:56):
and obviously we are carers atthat point.
So caring for them means alsoproviding safety and obviously,
at the same time, stimulation,because that's that's really
important.
So, for example, I work with acat parent that was really
frustrated because her catrefused to get into the carrier,
the.
The typical scenario is whenthe carrier is never used unless

(07:19):
you're going to the vets orunless you're going, maybe, to a
grooming facility, potentially,or a facility where they like a
cuttery where they keep the catwhile you are away, for people
that don't use pet sitters, forexample.
And so the cutter that was wasnot the cat was not happy to go
into the carrier and she wasgetting very frustrated because

(07:42):
every time it was a bit of abattle the cat ran away.
She didn't want to chase thecat but at the same time she had
to yank the cat from under thebed and it was really painful to
hear and it was really, youknow, really something that can
be avoided, and I know that manypeople struggle with these sort
of things.
But well, we worked togetherand she started to realize that

(08:03):
from her cat perspective.
We worked together and shestarted to realize that, from
her perspective, the carrier wasa literally a predictor of
stressful and scary experiencesand because it was obviously
only used during thoseexperiences.

(08:28):
And once she understood that,then we started to approach the
crate differently.
So we started to turn into acozy place where it was like a
little retreat, where her catcould play.
We used play therapy.
Also, we used elements from theenvironment and I like to use
herbs and natural remedies.
This is one of my biggestpassions and I use different
kinds of herbs at differenttimes.
They are all very, very safe,especially at the dose that I

(08:50):
recommend.
And, yeah, we use the herbs, weuse the plate therapy, we use
purification in the environmentto allow the cat to have a
different experience with thatcarrier.
And once she understood thatthat was the shift that she
needed to make.
Well then, we definitely saw adifferent response to this

(09:12):
situation where it was verytransformational of a sudden,
after a while trying to dothings differently, the moment
she had to use the carrier,basically the cat walked in on
his own.
So it was really impressive tosee the difference that the
different approach made to thesituation because, also, she

(09:36):
started to realize that everyopportunity was an opportunity
also to have fun with her cat,instead of something like a
chore that she had to completeor to do to obtain a certain
outcome.
Let's say so, yes, that was thepower of stepping into her
cat's perspective in thissituation.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
I love it because if every time I was needing to go
to the dentist or the doctor orthe hairstylist, somebody
trotted out a small barredenclosure, I would have thought
to myself, oh geez, they'reputting me in jail again.
This is never a good thing.
So it's like really kind ofsimplifying things, taking the

(10:17):
mystique out of the outwardfacing differences Like yes, our
cat has a different size,different shape.
Differences Like yes, our cathas a different size, different
shape, different body, but onthe inside, the psychology of it
, it's not so different.
And what's so neat about yourwork is that I think I shared
with you that when I asked theanimals what the word pet means,

(10:37):
why we call them a pet, abeautiful example of how our
animals elevate ourconsciousness and help us
reconnect with the whole andwith ourselves.
I had to go to the dentistyesterday and I really dislike
going to the dentist and soafterwards, since I have to put
myself in my own carrier anddrive myself there and pay, I

(10:57):
always give myself a littletreat.
I went thrifting.
Sometimes it's a cupcake,sometimes it's a coffee,
sometimes it's thrifting,sometimes it's a cupcake,
sometimes it's a coffee,sometimes it's thrifting,
sometimes it's going to thecrystal shop and we really are
so much more alike thandifferent.
I loved how you opened up andyou were sharing.
Yes, cats are wild and I wasthinking to myself so are we in

(11:18):
that we have these primalinstincts and we can't really
turn them off?
But we can modulate them.
And I love the idea of turningthe transportation device shall
we say, not the prison, but thesafe transportation device into
a haven and a cozy place ofrefuge.

(11:38):
And on that note, I want to askyou you have worked with so many
interspecies families.
I want to ask you you haveworked with so many interspecies
families?
I regularly refer my animalcommunication pet parents to you
when their cats have specialneeds or when something comes up
in a session and I've becomeaware that they may need some
remedy or some support that I'mnot trained in.
And I feel like you have thisdeep awareness that cats give up

(12:01):
a lot to live in our world,that cats give up a lot to live
in our world.
When you think about all theanimals alive on this planet
today that do not carry a soulcontract or a soul agreement to
keep any kind of significantcompany with humans, there's
this small subsection ofnon-human animals that literally
agree in advance to give upmost of their basic rights and

(12:24):
their freedoms to live with us.
I would love to hear yourinsights from working with so
many pet parents around theworld.
How can we better honor theirsacrifice and just get a deeper
understanding of what they'regiving up to be with us?

Speaker 2 (12:37):
The beautiful point and I just wanted to say that,
first of all, I love youracronym of PET as in a partner,
and that includes empathy andteaching, because, honestly, my
cats and my pets in general havebeen my biggest teachers and,
yes, you have to be maybe tunedin enough to pick up the lessons

(13:02):
, but they teach us so much andso that's a beautiful definition
of this world that I reallyreally like.
And what they give up by livingwith us, I mean there is a lot
that they gain as well, but theyalso give up a lot, as I.
Yes, as I alluded before alittle bit Basically, they for

(13:23):
sure, they are by nature,they're in that particular
position in nature, in the wild,of being a predator and a prey
at the same time.
So their senses are reallydeveloped, because they need to
have developed senses, they needto be very aware of their

(13:43):
surroundings and what'shappening, and they also are
very much into hunting, andhunting is made of different
phases, so it's not just thecatching the prey, there are
different phases that go intothe hunting process.
So even just the stalking orthe planning of how they're

(14:05):
going to get that prey, so whenthey observe and when they
pounce.
That's another phase, and soit's not necessarily just the
act of catching the prey.
There is a whole lot that comesbefore that and after.
So the hunting process isfundamental for felines and for

(14:26):
our cats in particular.
So we don't want to take thatcompletely away from them just
because they live with us.
So when people have dogs, forexample, and it's very clear to
them for some reason that dogsneed to walk, and generally
people are pretty good at takingtheir dogs for a walk, at least

(14:47):
a walk every day, I mean I seesome neighbors going at six in
the morning, even if it'sraining, and so, you know, the
walk becomes something that theywouldn't give up because they
know the dogs.
But then we have cats, and wetend to have cats in the house
that lay around and we thinkthat they're independent and

(15:07):
they do their own thing.
And we why would we take ourcats for a walk?
Obviously I took my cat for awalk because I had a cat that
was that loved the leash andloved to go out for a walk, and
he asked me at the door.
He would sit at the door andwould wait for me every day.
We had a ritual going on, andso it depends what you the door.
It would wait for me every day.

(15:27):
We had a ritual going on, andso it depends on what your cats
like and what they are like, butthis is actually something that
is possible, but in somesituations.
But, yes, we think, well, wedon't need to take them for a
walk, they have a house to goaround and so they don't really
need anything, so they're justgoing to do their own thing.
However, we don't realize thatthey still need to hunt, and

(15:49):
hopefully we don't have livemice in the house or live prey.
I mean, sometimes we get maybea bug running around or flying
around, but usually they don'thave that wild opportunity to
engage in this process, which isabsolutely fundamental for them
.
So we definitely need to makean effort to play with them in a

(16:12):
way that allows them to mimicthat behavior that they would
have in the wild, because thisensures that they are happy at
heart and then they can sleepand they can eat and they can do
the other things that cats loveto do, and they're going to be
much more balanced because ofthat.
So this is one of the thingsthat they give up when they are

(16:35):
not free in the wild, forexample, and also for cats, the
sense of control is veryimportant.
So I'm not saying that theyhave to have control over
everything.
This is not absolutely not whatI am saying, because we live in
an environment together and Istructure my training and I
believe firmly that I have theexperience to witness this that

(16:57):
we can totally set boundariesand we can totally have a
compromise, but with our cats.
But it's also true that thesense of control is very
important to cats.
So we don't want to take thatcompletely away, and when they
live with us, they tend to haveless control over when they eat,

(17:19):
what they eat, obviously,because we feed them and it's a
lot of that responsibility thatwe take on our shoulders but
they get taken away from.
So it becomes, for example, ifthere is also an overwhelming
situation also, they can'treally get away from it
autonomously.
So we need to be aware ofwhat's going on energetically in

(17:41):
the house as well Other animals, kids, other visitors.
All this puts pressure on ourcats and we need to understand
that they need an escape routeif they need to leave the place,
leave the room, and so even ifwe provide the safety and the
comfort of a home, then we alsoneed to look at the things that

(18:03):
they are giving up and we needto allow for choice and always
make sure that they havedifferent rest in place, more
than one litter box Usually.
That's another thing.
It's advised everywhere.
If you Google how many litterboxes you need, generally the
advice is always one per catplus one, and we don't take into
account that actually we meanplaces where the litter boxes

(18:26):
are situated and not just thelitter box itself.
So that doesn't mean that youhave, if you have five cats, it
doesn't mean that you have sixlitter boxes in one room.
It means that you actually havesix different locations where
your cats can go and choose todo their business, because they
need the resources that theywould find outside in a, in a,

(18:47):
obviously compatibly with yourspace and the way your house is
is arranged.
But, yes, they need as much aspossible the resources that are
that matter the most to them,that they would find, for
example, outside, and sodefinitely offering different
resting places, as I said,different heights that they
would use because they love toclimb different things, like,

(19:11):
for example, where they eat, isnot just putting down a bowl and
walk away, but having ritualsthat go with the eating process,
providing different things likefood puzzles, so that they
allow them to have fun with thefood and to use their brain to
get the food out.
And it doesn't have to bealways the food puzzle, but if
you introduce that in theirroutine, that could be another

(19:34):
thing that enriches theirenvironment, so that they don't
have to give up everythingcompletely.
They can find inside some ofthe things that they would
otherwise normally find outside.
So, yes, there is also a needfor safety and predictability,
of course, which I think theyhave probably more inside with

(19:55):
us than outside, but thepredictability is an important
element.
So we really want to bepredictable for our cats.
We want them to know what'scoming next.
We don't want to change thingsaround too much, too soon, too
often, so we want them to beable to count on our behavior
and the way things are going inthe house in a way that they are

(20:17):
stable and predictable.
So, yes, variety andpredictability they're two
things that have to go at thesame time, not instead of one or
the other.
So, yes, variety andpredictability there are two
things that have to go at thesame time, not instead of one or
the other.
But, yes, these are all needsthat we can't really ignore,
because we don't want to takeall the control away from them.
We want them to have somecontrol over the environment and

(20:38):
we want them to have this senseof agency, really, and so that
the shifts that we make allowthem to lower their stress and
to trust us more, becauseobviously this is important for
our relationship.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
Sure, and you know what really comes up as I'm
listening to this again morealike than different, and how we
naturally go through thisprocess.
When we take on a human partner, we naturally give up certain
freedoms, give up a portion ofour say, of our control, and we

(21:16):
do it willingly Most of the time.
I'll just tiptoe out on thatlittle branch there most of the
time with at least someawareness of why, what's in it
for us and how this process ofnegotiation, compromise, will
actually create more fulfillinglife over the long term.

(21:37):
We also have that longer termperspective.
What's so interesting with catsis that, yes, they do have a
certain sense I totally agreewith you, and I remember we were
chatting a little bit aboutthis a couple of weeks ago as
well.
They totally get a certaindegree of maybe safety and
predictability living indoorswith us that maybe they wouldn't
find outside, but so many ofthe perils they don't see as

(22:02):
perils, and I think that reallyplays in.
I think that's also where thesynergy comes between the work
that I do as an intuitive andcommunicator and your work as
this holistic I mean you have somany hats that you can wear
with the herbs and theunderstanding of the natural
biology and the trauma controland all of the different

(22:23):
resources in your membership andcommunity, but so much of the
negotiation, it feels like, issimply helping our cats
understand that's not safe, thatinteresting thing that you
would naturally go play with inthe wild or go investigate or go
explore, that's hot or that'sdeadly, that will shock you,

(22:44):
burn you, run you over, and sothe negotiation process gets
that much harder.
And I saw this with my rescuekitten, momo, and I see it every
day with my little kitten withwings over here, miss petal.
In a way, she's a lot like afeline.
She doesn't necessarily climb,although she does like to climb
a lot, but she can fly, and soit's like ceiling fans thinking
about some different perils andtrying to help her understand.

(23:08):
That's actually dangerous andit feels like that's a huge part
of the negotiation is it's like?
I know that's fascinating andit could kill you, therefore,
therefore, so how does that playin with the negotiation when
you have a very persistentfeline, for instance, who just
they just don't understand?

Speaker 2 (23:28):
okay.
Well, there are different viewson this because sometimes,
sometimes there are sometraining techniques that are not
to be used for normalbehavioral modification, and
some people like to use thesethings because they're a little

(23:49):
bit shocking, but for thingsthat need to be taught for sure,
definitely they make a mark, orthey definitely they make a
mark.
These are those techniques thatinvolve a negative reinforcement
or a punishment, for example,which doesn't mean that you
punish your cat.
It means that, for example, youcreate a stimulus that shocks

(24:12):
your cat, that startles your cat, so that they lose focus on
what they are doing and theysort of come back to you.
So at that point I would saythat if you have a situation
where you really want your catto stop making a noise or
clapping your hands or usingyour voice in a startling manner

(24:34):
, you don't have to shout atthem, as, in you know, you're
not reprehending them, you'rejust making a noise to startle
them so that they come out ofthat focus and that, yeah, the
tunnel vision sort of focus,that they have towards that
thing.
So, for example, things likethis I would say justify to them
when there is a door open andthey're running through the door

(24:56):
.
Well, or you can see thatthey're going to run through the
door because outside isdangerous.
There are cars maybe going.
Obviously, cats do notunderstand that sometimes cars
are really dangerous.
And they're dangerous in manyways.
A local cat jumped into a carthat was not running him over.

(25:17):
It was just parked, but theyclosed.
It was just parked, but theyclosed.
It was a van.
They closed the van, thebuilders closed the van, jumped
in, went and they were like froman hour away.
And when they opened the vanthe cat jumped out and all of a
sudden it was completely lost ina place that wasn't his home
and it was an hour away.
So for the family it was alsovery difficult to go and search

(25:39):
for this cat because it was anhour away.
So for the family it was alsovery difficult to go and search
for this cat because it was anhour away.
So obviously, all of a suddenyou have to.
You know it's logisticallydifficult to do that.
So there are some dangers outthere that I would say is
justified to use the startling,the startling technique where or
, for example, you areintroducing cats or you have two
cats that get along normally,but you can see that there is

(26:03):
some tension there, or the playbecomes a little bit too rough
and at that point if you don'twant this to escalate, you don't
really want to put your handsin there, necessarily, but
without having an activeparticipation in the fight or in
the conflict.
You can startle them from awayby making a noise, clapping your

(26:24):
hands or saying something, andall of a sudden you really see
your cats immediately looking atyou, generally going what is
going on and you know why.
Are you picking on my attentionnow and what else do I need to
do?
And then you can distract them.
So it is key to be able todistract them and to stop them

(26:48):
from what they're doing whenthere is a situation that is
dangerous.
Other times, when it's just amatter of simply wanting to
change a behavior, you can be alittle bit softer obviously it
makes so much sense that reallytouches on the role of the pet
guardian or the pet parent.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
There are guidelines and then there are rules, and
what's so interesting is, withsomething like a clap or a snap
of the fingers, it's associatingthat scary or dangerous thing
with a potentially negativestimuli, and so it is, in a way,
an opportunity to share thesensory truth about that item,

(27:27):
the emotional truth about thatitem, which is that's dangerous
because they're already tuned inwith us.
So they're already tuned inwith, oh, mom or dad or guardian
is having heightened anxiety.
So now we're saying, no, it'snot about you, I'm not feeling
this negative emotion or sensoryimpression about you.
It's about that thing, it'sabout this situation that could

(27:51):
be dangerous.
So it's a form of communicationthat's necessary and hopefully
not necessary often, but when itis necessary it's part of our
job.
People tend to want to tiptoearound these issues and it's
like that could be costly.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yes, yes, definitely.
There are situations where youcan also ask yourself why your
cat is doing something.
So, when you have the time to,when it's not in an emergency
situation where you have to stopa behavior right there, and
then you can ask yourself, andyou should ask yourself why and

(28:30):
this comes back to the empathyconcept that we were talking
about at the beginning.
So why are they, for example,jumping on the kitchen counter?
And you know why is this sointeresting to them?
I told them that the stove ishot and you know and you think,
oh, the day you burn your paws,you'll see you won't do this
again.
But actually you want to askyourself why.

(28:53):
What is about the kitchencounter that is so mesmerizing
and so interesting?
And when you understand thatmaybe they want a vantage point,
or they want to be away from adog or from another cat that
wants to eat their food so thereare so many or they want to
look outside the window becausethat's maybe the only spot where
they can get a good visual ofthe garden with the birds flying

(29:15):
.
So every, every situation hastheir why.
So there is a why behindwhatever your cat is doing, and
you really want to understandwhat it is.
Because once you understand whyand what it is that interests
them and makes them do something, then you can modify that
behavior by providing analternative.

(29:37):
So it is not a matter ofobedience and disobedience, but
it's a matter of creating acompromise, providing an
alternative and saying, okay,this is not allowed.
However, that is allowed andyou just obtain the same thing
that you wanted when you jumpedup here.
So I can give you, for example,in the kitchen counter example,

(29:58):
you can provide a perch that isnext to the kitchen counter and
that is where the cat getsrewarded and they get raised and
petted or whatever works forthe cat in question.
But yes, that can be a greatalternative and then when they
are on the counter, they do notget the reward.
You can just place your catdown and ignore so that they

(30:22):
understand that they have tojump on that alternative perch
to get the reward and to get thepraise and whatever goes with
it, and that perch has to answerthe same need that they would
get when they jump on thekitchen counter.
So if it's a visual to thegarden, it has to give them the

(30:43):
visual to the garden If it'ssomething that they want to be
on, just so that they can lookat what you're doing without
being in the way.
That's also something that canbe done with the prejudice in
the right position.
If they want to get away from adog or another cat, that again
needs to give them thatalternative so they feel that
they can get away and maybe theycan have their food up there.

(31:03):
So yes, just find why somethingis happening and then we can
work on how to change thingsaround.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
That's absolutely perfect.
It's so interesting because wehave this zillion dollar pet
products industry and we spendso much time and money buying
toys, buying treats, buyingcostumes, buying gifts.
When extending the gift ofunderstanding and beginning with
an awareness that this is notabout me, it's not to annoy me,

(31:34):
it's not to inconvenience me,it's not to stress me out, this
is about you trying tocommunicate with me using the
tools that you have.
That's where the work that youand I do can be vital as well,
and I want to encourage you, asyou're listening today or as
you're watching over on YouTube,to always start any question,

(31:54):
any frustration, any problemquote, unquote problem reframe
it as an opportunity to learnand begin by establishing why
and begin with the assumptionand this is quite rare if you've
been listening to the podcastfor a while.
I don't often recommend makingassumptions, but this is a good
place to do it.

(32:15):
Always begin with theassumption that your cat or your
dog or your bird or your animalthey have a reason, just like
when you do something, you havea reason.
You might not be consciouslyaware of it, but if you trace it
back far enough, somewherealong the line there was a
reason for why you do, andthat's why, when we come up
against things that we do and wesay, well, I don't know why I

(32:37):
do it, I've just always done it,once upon a time, there was a
good reason for that, and soit's really vitally important,
and that's why specialists likemyself and Paola are here.
If you're not quite sure, or ifit's lost in translation, which
often happens when we haveinterspecies families, well,
let's find out why.
What the reason is will informthe solution.
It will always inform thesolution and it will cut so much

(32:59):
of the anxiety and the stressout of the process of getting to
that negotiation, thatcompromise, that solution that
works for everyone.
Remembering yet again we bothagreed to be here If we're still
here, we both want to be here,even if it's tough.
So that's the other assumptionwe make we're still here.
When an animal doesn't want tobe here, they do the same thing

(33:20):
a human partner does they leaveand then you wake up and where
did they go?
So if they're still here, theywant to be with you, and so
let's just use the tools.
This is why I often say thatthe modern pet parent, we need a
team Pet parenting or petguardianship or animal
guardianship.
It's a team sport, and therehave been so many developments,

(33:43):
so many advances inconsciousness and knowledge, in
veterinary science, inaromatherapy, and so many
complementary disciplines energy, medicine.
Let's get your cat the supportand the understanding that they
need so that you can enjoy theheck out of each other.
That's our big umbrella goalfor why we do everything because
they are cute and they purr andthey're amazing and, in the

(34:05):
grand scheme of things, we mayhave to make a few neural
connections along the way.
So be it.
It's also going to keep ourbrain youthful, so that's very
awesome.
So I want to actually talkabout the flip side of the coin
here.
What often happens is that maybethere's an issue, maybe there's
something going on with our cat, but we're not just this static
pool of contentment and Zencalm while this is going on.

(34:28):
Our life is going on too.
We've got stuff that comes upand it's so easy to forget that
our energetic state affectseveryone around us and our
non-human family members morethan our human family members,
because they default to thatwild sensory awareness They've

(34:50):
never lost that.
We're the only species on thisplanet that has at least pushed
the mute button.
So if you can think about justfor a moment before I ask Paola
this question if you can thinkabout the last time you were in
the company of someone who wasjust like super angry or highly
anxious or just obscure for somereason, and how it was probably

(35:12):
uncomfortable, even if youcouldn't put your finger on it,
have you ever just gotten a badvibe?
Or maybe your human partner oryour kids or your parents or
your boss is just grumpy, andhow it affects you you almost
can't help it.
So I want to talk with you,paola, next, about how can we
manage that aspect of living ourlives, because what can end up

(35:35):
happening is that what we callthe S-H-I blank, blank, blank
rolls downhill Before we know it, the cat's acting out, and now
we've got the Tasmanian devilblowing through the house.
So what are your insights onthat very common interspecies
family storm that can crop up?

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yes, this is not such a woo-woo concept where you
think about the energy and youthink how the energy affects
your cats in a very ethereal way.
It's actually very practical.
Have to carry out somethingthat involves an act of, for

(36:20):
example, taking care of yourcats in a practical way that
creates tension in you as thecat parent and that tension is
felt by your cat immediately,and then the action is not
successful and you getfrustrated.
So let me explain.
So, basically, one of thethings that I do.
One of the things that I do is Iteach cat parents to peel their

(36:43):
cats and to provide care in alike what's what is called a
hands-on cat care.
The hands-on cat care, so allthose processes that cat parents
can do at home and they canthey can put in place to monitor
their cat's health or to takecare of their cat's health, for

(37:03):
example, without needing to goto the vet constantly, back and
forth all the time, becausethat's also stressful and it's
expensive and it's stressful.
So sometimes we are in asituation where we want to
provide care.
This is a big passion of mine,because supplements cats are
only small and a little dose ofsupplement or a nutritional

(37:24):
something that they are missing.
So nutraceutical herbs,supplements, whatever you want
to call them a little dose ofthat can really go a long way.
But the problem is you have toput it into the cat.
You can't just buy it and thenthink that obviously makes a
difference.
So for you to be able put itinto the cat, you can't just buy
it and then think thatobviously makes a difference.
So for you to be able to putthat into the cat without trauma

(37:45):
, you need to reach a compromiseand you need to cooperate,
which is called the act ofcooperative care, so the act of
finding cooperative care.
So cooperative care starts fromthe principle that you can train
your cat to accept themedications or the care that
they need, the processes thatthey need to put in place in a

(38:08):
way that is cooperative, as theword says, so that they are
actually coming for meds becausethey are trained to accept, for
example, to be familiar withsyringes or peeling.
So you start from a place oftraining and you start to train
them from very simple actions upto the more complex actions

(38:29):
gradually and they learn thatthere is no issue and they
become really good at receivingmeds and care and whatever else
you need to do with them tomonitor their health and then
like grooming and all thesethings that are part of taking
care of your cats on aday-to-day basis.
But then there are also thosesituations where you are not in

(38:50):
a position of starting from thetraining and going very
gradually, because you are facedwith a situation that is
difficult or it's a healthchallenge, for example, and at
that point you need to quitequickly get to a point of
cooperation where you administermeds or you do something to
your cats like, for example,fluids or other things, like if

(39:14):
they are asthmatic, for example,and you need to teach them to
receive the medicine that theyneed at that time through the
device that helps them receivingit through the nose and they
are not familiar with it.
So you need to get to thatcooperation pretty fast.
So at that point I go by myteam formula, which involves the

(39:35):
technique that you're using,the equipment that you're using,
and the attitude and themetrics.
So the M is the metric, soeverything that you do should be
written down so that you cansee a progression and you can
see your data in front of youand you can collect data, which
is very important.
The attitude part of the teamformula is what we're talking

(39:57):
about here.
So without the energy in placeand without the right attitude,
your cat will pick up on yourenergy straight away, will pick
up on your tension straight away.
For the reason that we talkedabout before, they need to be
able to pick up on subtle things, because in the wild they are
prey as well as they arepredators.

(40:18):
So if there is something goingon in the environment, they need
to be able to pick it upimmediately.
So if there is something thatis a threat to them.
They need to be able to see it,hear it, sense it.
So they call them spider senses, but actually, yes, cats are
very good at that.
They're so good at that.
If you approach this processwith this feeling of, oh my God,

(40:44):
I'm frightened, I don't knowhow to put my hands on my cat,
he's going to scratch me.
Or what if I put my hands inhis mouth and he bites me?
Or you know what if he vomits?
What?
If you know, if you startcreating this scenario in your
head and you approach this withthis hesitation and this tension
, it's not going to go well.

(41:06):
Your cat will pick it up and heor she, they will think what is
going on with this person thatnormally is very cuddly and very
nice with me and very relaxed,and all of a sudden they need to
do something to me and or withme, and all of a sudden I can
sense that there is somethinggoing on with them.

(41:26):
So I better be a bit careful tothis, about this situation, and
I need to maybe move away andmaybe I can hide over there and
wait until the storm is gone.
So obviously we want to be veryconscious and very aware of our
feelings.
So, if we go into this, I havebeen peeling my cats for 10

(41:47):
years now, constantly, every day.
So five cats times five, fivetimes a day, or you know times
10 years.
You know I've peeled them a lot, but that goes with all the
things that they need cutting.
Know I've killed them a lot,but I that that goes with all
the things that they needcutting nails, grooming, all
sorts of things, bathingsometimes when they have needed
it for some reason, and, yes, sothis goes with everything that

(42:08):
they need to to be done to them,and especially senior care
might involve some of theseprocesses, especially if you
want to have control at home, todo it on your own and to save
on stress and vet visits, etcetera.
So at that point I have had nowthe practice behind me where I

(42:29):
can do it blindfolded, but I cansee how a person that has never
peeled their cat before, forexample you see all the memes
with people putting the, youknow the, the armors and ready
for battle and yes, it is.
It is very funny.
But at the same time, yes, ifyou approach this with that,
with that in mind, obviouslythis is not gonna go well.

(42:50):
So if you are feeling nervousbecause it's natural I started
from somewhere at some point aswell and I was nervous to open
my cat mouth and to do things tothem but yes, if you are really
aware of what's happeningwithin you, just use the pose
and breathe exercise andtechnique.
That is a grounding breathingpractice that is designed to

(43:14):
help cat guardians calm theirnervous system very quickly and
reset their energy beforeengaging with their cats in
stressful moments.
So you have to.
It works this way you pause.
So before approaching your cat,especially in a stressful
scenario like going into thecarrier or administering
medication, like we talked aboutbefore just take a moment to

(43:36):
stop and check in with yourselfand notice how you're feeling,
and if you're tense, just take astep back and relax a second,
and then you breathe and youinhale deeply through the nose,
allowing your belly to expand,and then you slowly exhale
through your mouth and you wantto ideally keep a couple of
seconds of pause even fourseconds if you can when you

(43:59):
breathe in and then, when yourelease and breathe out, pause
for four seconds and thenbreathe in again and you can
focus on your breath as it movesin and out for two or three
times.
So just do it a few times.
You don't have to be theremeditating for two hours.
You just need to take a fewbreaths and calm your body down
and slow your heart rate, andthen you can just ground

(44:21):
yourself and as you breathe, yougently release any tension in
your body.
Just visualize the tensionleaving you and let your
shoulder drop, relax your handsand soften your face, because
cats can read your expressionsas well.
So visualize your feet rootedto the ground, connecting you to
the earth, until you feel, andthen you can approach your cat

(44:45):
with a smiley on your face andaiming for the best possible
scenario and outcome.
And if that scenario or outcomedoesn't happen immediately.
You can try again next time andyou can let it go because you
don't want to chase your catdown or, you know, completely
traumatize your cat.
You want to find a compromise inthis, but this simple grounding

(45:08):
technique really helps resetyour energy and brings you back
to a calmer, more centered state, which is so important in these
cases.
So it is amazing how this smallpractice, if you will, can
create a really big shift in howyou approach your cat and how
your cat sees you, because whenyou manage your energy and you

(45:28):
send out like a calm, steadyvibe that you know your cat will
respond to, then obviously youreduce their stress and the
handling becomes so much easier.
Don't make it a big deal, justget it done and move on, because
, yes, your cat sometimes willnot like a particular thing the
best, but if you do it nicely,if you do it with nonchalance

(45:53):
and if you do it with a smile onyour face quickly, swiftly and
breezily, your cat will acceptit and you can then move on to
all other sorts of beautifulactivities that in the next 99%
of the time you indulge your catwith and you can play with them
, cuddle them and really put aneffort into making the rest of

(46:15):
the day amazing.
So you want to really befocusing on your emotional
triggers and avoid being in thatstate of tension, because it
does make a big, big difference.
So, yes, build positiveexperiences even when you are in
these situations and obviously,if you need more help, this has
many ramifications.

(46:36):
This technique is.
This is just the beginning.
There are so many things thatwe can talk about.
I'm not going to dive into allthe details here because that
would take all the time of thepodcast.
But you know there are ways toalso make that medication more
pleasant.
You don't have to put things inyour cat's mouth that are
bitter or horrible.

(46:57):
Or there are ways to make thosemeds more pleasant or the
cutting of the nails lesstraumatic.
So things that actually youpractically can do.
That's the part of thetechnique and the equipment that
you're using.
So that's another, the otherpart of the team formula.
But in terms of attitude, thatis what you want to do when you

(47:18):
approach your cat.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
in these situations, it strikes me yet again how the
partner, empathic, friend andteacher model that they shared
with me is so spot on.
Not only did I feel myselfrelaxing and slipping into a
nice Zen state as you wereguiding us through the breathing
exercise, I'm like, oh, thisworks.
And I had that thought, like,well, I could do this for other

(47:41):
things that stress me out in mylife as well.
So our animals, by gettingtriggered in very understandable
circumstances, they're not justcommunicating with us, they're
not just letting us know theirlikes and dislikes, but they're
giving us an opportunity to finda better feeling way for this
particular situation and for somany other situations, whether

(48:02):
those situations involve ourcats or not.
If you're out on the streetsomewhere, there's a real
difference between gettingapproached by somebody who wants
to mug you and gettingapproached by somebody who wants
to give you a donut.
It's like a completelydifferent energy and we often
treat ourselves like we're themugger.
We just get all discombobulatedwithin our own energetic state.

(48:26):
This is very personal, but formany, many, many years, I did
not have any of these tools inmy toolkit, which is why I feel
like the work that you and I do,and definitely the journey of
learning intuitive communicationbetween species, is such a
natural self-evolution programbecause we are the only species
on this planet that feels likewe have somehow made peace with

(48:48):
being dysregulated, like weaccept it as the norm, whereas
our animals will fight againstit with everything they've got,
because they know that this isunnatural.
And so this feels like theperfect moment in the podcast to
invite you to share with ourlisteners how they can work with
you.

(49:08):
What can you offer them toreturn that regulation and
hopefully, a little bit ofsanity and perspective and a
feeling of self-confidence andself-efficacy, because I feel
like we want that.
I know that my clients, whenthey come to me for a session or

(49:28):
to learn animal communication,that's what they really want.
I want to feel like I'm doing agood job.
I want my cat to know that Ilove them and that I'm not
trying to hurt them, and that'ssuch wisdom for somebody to be
listening to an episode liketoday and think I want what she
has, and I know that I don'thave it right now, so let me go

(49:49):
and get it.
I'm not a bad person because Idon't know how to get my cat to
take a pill or how to get themin the carrier.
That doesn't mean I'm a bad petparent.
It means I need to learn, Ineed to build my team and that's
really what we're all abouthere at the podcast, which is
one of the reasons I wanted youhere today and it's why I refer

(50:09):
people to you.
So if you could give us I knowyou've got so much for listeners
who maybe imagine they'retotally new, like I was when
Momo came into my life bygetting trapped in our garage
and I was like, oh my God, whichend of the cat is up?
I grabbed the wrong end.
I was trying to trap him as akitten.
I didn't even know how to holda cat.
So we've got those folkstotally been there.

(50:31):
I've got all of the metals andall of the scratches to prove it
.
Some are permanent.
And then folks that are youknow I'm volunteering with the
cat rescue and every single catthey're at a totally different
place and so many of them comeinto our lives and it's like
they've also got their stuff.
They've got their trauma.
How can you just enter intothese interspecies families and

(50:52):
offer targeted support whereit's needed?

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Yes, no, it's a.
It's a great question.
I I have always tried to offerdifferent things for different
situations, because it's notalways a matter of getting a
coach on retainer and work forfor five months, because it
depends on what you have toachieve and where you are at in
the journey as well.

(51:15):
So I offer mainly three kind ofthings.
So the first it depends on howcomplex is the situation that
you want to resolve or you arefacing and how quickly you need
a solution for it.
So obviously you can't resolvecertain things immediately.
They always need a certainsituation, even though you want

(51:39):
them urgently solved.
But sometimes you have to givethe time to do a bit of
detective work and obviouslyallow your cat to change certain
things so that they learn adifferent behavior or their
health becomes improved.
So, yes, you need to give it abit of time in most cases, but
the way you want a solution,that is the urgency that I'm

(52:03):
talking about here.
So how, how urgent and howsimple or how non-urgent and how
complex the situation is.
So basically, I, when they are,uh, when someone needs and you
know, needs support, and itdepends where they're at,
obviously in their journey withthe cats, as I mentioned before.
So one one is when they have anurgent but a simple issue.

(52:27):
Then there is.
I offer a service, which is avery agile service, which is
called the Quick Access SupportChat, where it's like a Voxer or
a Messenger-based consultation,where a cat guardian can reach
out and get professional advicequickly without the need for a
full consultation of four monthsand months of working together,

(52:50):
and it's a great way to getanswers and guidance that don't
break the bank and doesn't breakthe bank and, at the same time,
you get what you need quicklyand you can implement it
straight away.
So this is ideal for situationsthat are fairly simple.
So one topic and something thatyou want to clarify or you want

(53:12):
to tweak food choices, diets,diet advice, things like this,
or, for example, a behavior thatyou are like in cat and cat
interaction.
You want to clarify some things.
Then, when you go into anon-urgent situation, but
guardians want a bit of moreongoing education, a bit more

(53:34):
long-term, and they want totackle several things little
things, but they are not in anurgency, that this is not an
emergency as in like I really,really need to tackle this right
now you can see that you have afew things that you want to
tweak, or you have a behavioryou want to change and you have
the time to change it, and thenin that case I have a beautiful

(53:56):
community which is a lovely,affordable community support and
it's called my Holistic Clubmembership.
And this is ideal for thesesituations because, as I said,
it's affordable and it'sinteractive.
It's in a group, it's in agroup setting, but there are
live calls and there is alibrary of holistic training
materials that people can turnto whenever they need.

(54:17):
And it's really perfect for catparents that want to deepen
their knowledge and have atrusted place to ask questions
along the way.
And they do get a lot of support, even on specific situations.
So, for example, I have catparents joining this space when
they have a cat that urinatesinappropriately.
So instead of having a veryexpensive one-on-one

(54:39):
consultation with a coach andthen they have to wait until
they have a follow-up and thenthey are completely on their own
, in this case we can worktogether in a more relaxed
manner because, again, it's avery affordable membership, but
at the same time they can cometo me with questions and they
can tweak what they're doing andI can advise them on what to

(54:59):
use in terms of herbalsupplements or environmental
changes that need to be done.
I can ask more questions todive in a little bit more deeply
about why this behavior ishappening.
If we need more tests, I canadvise them to get the test.
They can come back to me withthe test done and the results so
I can really help them on amore long-term basis where it's

(55:22):
not just a place where they canlearn things, it's also a place
where they can get the supportthat they need, and they know
that, bit by bit, step by step,we're going to go a long way.
So we are going to tackle thosebehaviors that are bothering
them, or those things that,health-wise, are affecting their
cats, and we can tackle them,whether it is allergies or, as I

(55:44):
said before, behaviors likeinappropriate urination or cut
to cut introduction.
So these are things that theycan do in a group setting
through direct support, becauseI answer them very.
I give them very completeanswers one on one in the post,
but they are in a group setting,so, and they can also come to
the calls, obviously, to have aconversation face-to-face.

(56:06):
And then we have thosesituations where there are more
urgent and more complex cases,if you will.
So this is the ideal thing forthis is the VIP wellness support
service that I offer, and thisis more for guardians that need
a direct, hands-on supportbecause maybe their cat is
facing a more serious health orbehavior challenge and this

(56:28):
requires, say, for example,ongoing attention, and also when
they don't want to becompletely alone.
So they're going through aprocess, they are getting
medication, they want maybe tohave a second opinion or have a
bit of a supportive person onthe other side that helps them
through the challenge, becausesometimes these situations are

(56:49):
very stressful People still needto go to work, people still
need to make it happen, and itis difficult sometimes.
And, yes, when they need somesupport or they need to put
together a bit of a protocol andthen they need to implement it,
giving it to their cats, andthis is ideal because we can
really talk every day with eachother.
They have direct access to meand there is we work together

(57:11):
for at least eight weeks wherewe can really develop and
transform, put together somesupport that they really need
and transform the situation bygiving them a chance to actually
make things better, improve andsupport their cats and improve
their health and improve thingsas they are when they come to me
.
So this is another thing that Ioffer and I think for certain

(57:34):
cases like, for example, if acat guardian is facing a
diagnosis of cancer, that is abit more complex, we need to put
together quite a few things.
There are so many things thatsomebody can do that don't
involve you shoving down yourcat's throat things and are
going for heavy, heavy duty sortof treatments.
You can also do so many otherthings, but there are therapies

(57:58):
that you can put in place, butthis all takes a little bit of
time to put them in place.
To discuss what is best yes, sothis needs a little bit more
discussion, even things that are, say, for example, I see a lot
of cats with pancreatitis.
So we discuss things and Icheck the results, I help them
reading what's happening and Ireally follow them through the

(58:20):
journey of starting to change,one thing at a time, because we
know, even with our health, ifwe are in a certain way and we
decide on the first of the yearto just become the healthiest
person ever and to exercise allof a sudden 20 hours a day and
etc.
It doesn't usually happen or itdoesn't really stick, because
the best is to change one thingat a time.

(58:42):
And when you're involved inhands-on cat care that needs to
be put in place and you want tohelp your cat face those
challenges supportively andeffectively, then there are
certain things to put in placeand it's best to put in place
one by one and start to gatherthe resources that you need one
by one.
And this is why this support isa bit more direct, if you want,

(59:06):
because I can actually followthem through the process of
transforming the situation intoa better one.
Of course, and a part of thissupport is they get access to my
signature course.
People can also get into mysignature course on its own, so
they can get the course and doit on their own.
And the signature course reallyis there to help them with all

(59:26):
those processes they can do athome.
So it teaches them aboutmeasuring blood pressure at home
with their cats, so that theydon't have to go to the vets all
the time just to measure theblood pressure.
Plus, the blood pressure is oneof those things that when you
go to the vets, because of thestress that is involved, it's
difficult to read it properlyand you have to go many times to

(59:46):
make an average.
And yes, because there is thisthing that is called situational
high blood pressure, whichcomes from the stress that the
cat is, say, facing when they goto the vets.
And so learning to do all thesethings and reading and running a
urinalysis at home and manymore things all these things
that you can do at home save youmoney in the long run and it

(01:00:09):
puts you in a situation of alsofeeling that you're actually
doing something very practicalfor your cat and it just gives
you a lot of peace of mind,because there's nothing worse
than sit there and feelcompletely helpless and like you
have nobody to call or nobodyto ask a question.

(01:00:29):
You have no support and all youhave is the directions from
maybe your vet and your cat isnot well and all of a sudden you
feel pushed into a cornerbecause you need to make the
decision or you don't know ifyour cat is not doing well or if
he can't recover.
There are so many situationswhere you just feel helpless and

(01:00:53):
it's horrible, it's horrible tobe told there's nothing we can
do and you just don't have anyoptions.
So I like to offer something.
Whether somebody needs quickadvice or ongoing community
support, or maybe in-depthone-on-one guidance, then this
is a place for them to get allthe help that they need in
different ways, depending onwhat they prefer and what their

(01:01:15):
lifestyle is like.
And yes, so this is my way tohelp them in different ways
depending on where they are andwhat they need.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Absolutely, and it's so well thought out and really
considerate of all of thedifferent types of challenges
that we face as interspeciesfamilies, especially today, with
the worldwide web and too muchinformation does not necessarily
equate to better information oraccurate information we can
save ourselves a lot of time,energy and stress simply by just
heading right to a trusted teammember.

(01:01:46):
I'm a huge advocate for thatfrom the start, and you are also
offering our listeners a veryspecial, special, special, super
secret offer to get 50% off ofyour membership just for
listening to let's Talk toAnimals listening to our episode
today.
So I will put that link in theshow notes.
Paolatheholisticcatspecialistcom,

(01:02:08):
it's been such a joy and honor.
Thank you for taking time outof your day.
I know you have a full, allpaws on deck daily routine with
your own feline family and, ofcourse, your clients and your
members.
So thank you so much for yourtime and your wonderful positive
energy and outlook on what'spossible for interspecies

(01:02:29):
families that include a feline,especially, and for those of you
who are listening or watching.
I'm super grateful for you.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please do leave us.
A five-star review is whatPetal suggests.
Of course, be guided by yourheart, but that definitely makes
her day and mine.
I love to know that you'relistening and you have questions
or suggestions.

(01:02:49):
I actually source quite anumber of my podcast topics from
you, because this is ourpodcast together.
It's not just mine, it's notjust yours, it is ours.
It's a forum where we can talkthrough things that are
affecting your interspecies,family questions, things you're
curious about.
You can always find me over atanimallovelanguagescom, you can

(01:03:10):
find Paola attheholistichatspecialistcom, and
every two weeks you can find afresh new episode of let's Talk
to Animals over atletstalktoanimalsbudsproutcom.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
It's been a joy on my side as well and thank you for
the work that you do, becauseyour stories and your gracious
way of delivering messages aboutanimals and on animals is just
amazing.
So I just on a personal level,as a human being, but also on a

(01:03:44):
professional level I justrespect you so much and I thank
you so much for having me today.
It was really, really mypleasure to be here.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Oh, my goodness.
Well, thank you.
That just made my day, fills myheart with joy.
And if you're still listening,if you're still hanging in here
with us, I will be hopping overto Paola's YouTube channel and
when that goes live, I will alsolink that up for you in the
show notes so you can follow herover on YouTube and listen to
us chat more and continue theconversation over there.

(01:04:13):
So already, my dear one, sogood to connect with you today,
our dear listeners, thank you somuch for being a part of the
animal love languages and let'stalk to Animals community.
You are valued, treasured andloved and I look forward to
welcoming you back in two weeksfor a fresh new episode.
Okay, all of our love.

(01:04:34):
Bye for now.

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