February 24, 2025 • 35 mins
Ever wondered how the path to a healthier lifestyle can unlock your full potential? Esther Avant, a passionate coach and champion for healthy living, joins us to share her journey from high school fitness enthusiast to navigating an identity crisis in college. Discover how she learned to harness the holistic benefits of health, influencing both personal and professional spheres of life. In this engaging conversation, Esther reveals how understanding human behavior and life's transitions is pivotal in empowering individuals to thrive.
Join us as we explore the art of building confidence and achieving consistent success by taming the inner critic and learning to focus on possibilities rather than limitations. Esther shares how small, actionable steps and self-compassion can help set and fulfill commitments, transforming failure into a stepping stone for growth. By delving into the deeper motivations behind our goals, we can foster a trustworthy relationship with ourselves, enhancing our willingness to embark on new ventures despite setbacks.
Balancing health with work priorities is a common struggle, but we uncover strategies to align personal values with commitments, ensuring health enhances all aspects of life. Esther emphasizes maintaining motivation and consistency by prioritizing core values amidst distractions. This holistic approach not only aids in achieving health goals but enriches other life areas, preventing the sacrifice of relationships or joy. Embrace the mindset of seeking solutions over excuses and learn creative ways to make health a proactive priority, paving the way for long-term well-being and success.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
Her name is Esther Avant.
Esther, what's up?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited to chat with youtoday.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Absolutely so.
Where are you checking in from?
What part of the world are youcalling in from?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'm in sunny San Diego.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Sunny, san Diego, born and raised.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No Came here.
In my early 20s I grew up inNew England and had one winter
too many Came out here.
Very promptly met my husband,who's in the military, and we've
been gone for about a decadeand just came full circle and
are back here again.
Very happy to be back.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, don't lie, you're addicted to the weather
in San Diego, right?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, it's very hard not to be.
It's just so nice for theweather to not even be a thing
you have to think about.
Your plans aren't revolving onwell, if it's nice out or if it
doesn't rain, you can justconsistently be outside, be
doing fun and active stuff, andit's not a consideration.
So, yeah, that's cool.
(02:35):
So tell us about yourself.
What do you do?
What value do you bring to thepeople that you work with?
To podcast hosting and Ipublished a book that came out
last year, and I'm beginning aspeaking career as well all with
the mission of helping peopleprioritize their lives so they
can live their healthiest,prioritize their health so they
(02:56):
can live their healthiest,happiest, most confident lives
and also thrive in their careersand in their personal lives.
What I've seen from coachinghundreds of women over this time
is that the benefits of livinga healthy lifestyle and
prioritizing your health extendfar beyond just that.
(03:17):
That when you essentially crackthe code of what it takes to be
healthy, to change your habits,you develop this confidence
that just makes you unstoppable,and so many of my clients
started seeing the spillover of.
They would come to me to loseweight and on our coaching calls
(03:40):
we'd be talking about howthey're getting promoted or
they're going back to school,they're starting businesses,
their relationships areimproving all because they
decided that they were worthy ofbeing a priority in their lives
.
And that's what I'm on amission to help people do is
realize that health, it can't bean afterthought, but the time
that you spend prioritizing itis going to pay for itself in
(04:03):
dividends in every aspect ofyour life.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Take me through the process.
How did you develop thisawareness of prioritizing health
, making it very important foryou?
What was that?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Trial and error, like for most people, and that's
part of what I love aboutcoaching is I can help my
clients avoid the same pitfallsthat I had to experience, and
largely I discovered working outwhen I was in high school,
right before college.
Being active in the gym made mewant to care more about what I
(04:38):
put into my body.
I went to college in a reallyhealthy place.
That's why I decided to majorin exercise science and almost
immediately had this kind ofidentity crisis where I stopped
working out.
I started eating at the dininghall.
I had everything I wanted at myfingertips.
I gained a bunch of weight,just totally lost sight of the
things that made me feel good,and that was my first
(05:00):
introduction to oh.
This stuff isn't just aboutlooking a certain way.
It affects everything.
That when you are not puttingnutritious food in your body,
when you're not moving your body, you're sluggish and you feel
badly about yourself and itmakes you not want to do other
things and it makes it harder tostudy and retain information.
Just had this cascade effect,got myself back to a good place,
(05:23):
figured out who I was again,and then, at each of my
transitions in young adulthood,moving cross country from Boston
to San Diego.
I struggled to be consistentwith these things.
Even knowing how important theywere, it was still hard to
continue doing them or to figureout what they needed to look
like in each new chapter of mylife, because often what I see
(05:45):
is that we'll have things, willbe cruising for a while, but
then we have some sort of lifechange or disruption and we just
end up falling on our butts andrather than picking ourselves
back up and figuring out, oh, mylife is different, now things
need to look different we justblame our lack of discipline or
lack of motivation and arereally hard on ourselves.
(06:05):
So it was through experiencingall of that myself that I
realized the certifications, thetextbook, knowledge on the
science of exercise nutritionthey're important, but they're
not what was going to be mostimpactful in my life or in my
clients' lives.
And that's where I startedreally diving into human
behavior and understanding howour brains work, why we are
(06:27):
inclined to do what we do andhow we actually take the what to
do and implement it in ourunique lives in a way that gives
us the confidence to say evenif circumstances change in the
future which they inevitablywill I can trust myself to
recalibrate as I need to andmaintain my health no matter
(06:48):
what.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I'm listening to you and the one word that, like
really sticks out to me isconsistency, right, and being in
the let's just say thecorporate environment, right.
And we're showing up.
I have to do this, we got to dothat task and we put our own
health on the back burner, ourself-care on the back burner,
(07:10):
right, and we're not reallyconsistent in managing our own
personal self-care.
Okay, so I'm assuming that youdeal with a lot of clients and
the common theme is consistency,right, and how they are
prioritizing their self-care.
So, just to start this topicoff, how do you help your
(07:34):
clients establish moreconsistency around their
self-care?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
This is an excellent question, and consistency is my
jam.
In my book I talk about therebeing three Cs of success your
commitment, your consistency andyour confidence.
And when we are struggling toreach a goal, it is a lack of
one or several of those Csthat's holding us back and the
way we increase them.
So we'll focus on consistency.
(08:01):
The way we focus on consistencyis threefold.
Number one you got to stoptrying to do all the things.
We tend to want to make thesegrandiose efforts, but the
reality of it is, when we haveso many competing demands on our
time and our energy, we don'thave a whole lot to give, and
(08:21):
this is very classic tortoiseand hare situation.
But you're so much better offdoing less, but really
committing to doing itconsistently and doing it well
and doing that over the longterm and then, as you feel ready
, adding a little bit more,adding another thing, rather
than trying to dive in with bothfeet and flailing around.
Number one is determine.
What are the I call them thebig rocks, what are the handful
(08:44):
of behaviors that are going togenerate the majority of my
results?
Generally speaking, for people,these are eating the right
number of calories, prioritizingyour protein and fiber, general
daily movement, walking,strength training, rest and
recovery In general.
If you're focusing on justthose things, you're going to be
in a pretty good place.
What that also means is lettinggo all the other noise out
(09:06):
there.
It's easy to get bombarded withcontent about what we should be
doing and we end up feelinglike if we're not doing all of
it and doing it perfectly, thenit's not worth doing and it's
not going to make any difference.
So you have to both be able toparse out what matters and then
let go of the other stuff.
Put your blinders on and say ifit's not one of these three
(09:27):
things or five things on my list, I am not worrying about it
right now, and down the road youmight decide.
Now I've got the big rocksquared away.
I want to experiment with somesmaller things.
Sure, or you might realize, I'mgetting results that I'm happy
with and I'm spending a lot lesstime and energy.
I'm not feeling overwhelmed,it's not feeling unsustainable
and I'm good there.
So that's number one figure outyour big rocks.
(09:48):
Number two having support willskyrocket your consistency, and
that can take on lots ofdifferent forms depending on
where you are in your life andwhat you need help with.
But whether it's a coach or atrainer or a therapist or a
workout class where you havepeople who are expecting you to
show up a walking buddy at work,a friend that you meal prep
(10:11):
with your family we tend to feellike we have to be doing all of
this by ourselves, like we haveto shoulder all of the burden.
That if we ask for help, it's asign of weakness and the
reality of it is.
Sure you are capable of doingit on your own, but it's a sign
of weakness and the reality ofit.
Is sure you are capable ofdoing it on your own, but it's a
lot more pleasant and it'sgoing to be easier and faster if
you get comfortable saying, hey, I could use some help.
(10:32):
And here's how Be really clearwith your communication on what
a person can help you with.
So if that's, my verywell-meaning husband keeps
bringing home my favorite wineat night because he knows that I
like it to relax, except thatI'm taking in all these empty
calories and I'm sleepingterribly and I don't want to be
drinking anymore why don't Ihave that conversation with him
and approach it from thestandpoint of I appreciate what
(10:54):
you're doing and I know you wantto support me.
Here's what you could do that Iwould actually appreciate right
now.
So number two you'll be moreconsistent if you have other
people that you're talking toabout your goals, if you have
somebody that you're accountableto.
That will help you build theaccountability to yourself.
Ultimately, you want to get tothe point where you're doing
these things because it's whoyou are, it's what you said you
do and you can trust yourself.
(11:14):
But having a little bit ofexternal accountability guidance
, support, community goes areally long way.
And the final piece of boostingyour consistency is to stop
being so hard on yourself.
We're very mostly we're our owntoughest critics and any slight
imperfection we tell ourselvesoh, you blew it Once again.
You're a complete failure.
(11:35):
You should have known this wasgoing to happen.
It always does.
You just don't have thediscipline for it and we're
really hard on ourselves and wethink that we need to berate
ourselves into submission.
But that's not how it works.
You are not going to show upfor someone you don't love and
care about, giving yourself thesame compassion you would give
to another person.
Just accepting yourimperfections, accepting your
slip-ups and takingresponsibility for what you're
(11:57):
going to do differently to avoidrepeating the same things over
and over again.
Accept that you're going tomake mistakes and then learn
from them.
You're growing as time goes on.
When you practice those threecomponents, you will no longer
struggle with consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And the last one, right, the inner critic is what
I like to call it.
The inner critic.
And here's an element that Iwant to go a little bit deeper
on the last bridge that youpresented.
The inner critic affects yourenergy.
You have this limiting belief Ican't, I won't, oh my God, this
is hard, this and this right.
(12:33):
And in those moments you'redistracted from your true self,
your true worth, because you'refocused on what you can't do.
And in that moment, whileyou're focused on what you can't
do, your energy is limited,you're not as motivated, right.
And so you're stagnant.
And so then, when you start toincorporate I need to lose
(12:57):
weight and the consistency part,like you had the other two
pillars, but then the finalpillar, that inner critic is
chirping, trying to recast thatold experience of you not being
successful because you triedthis diet plan that moment is
speaking pause, stuck.
(13:17):
I don't know.
I don't want to, I don't wantto fail, want to, I don't want
to fail, right.
And if we can just move that tothe side and actually look at
the optimistic side of thingsand see the possibilities, right
Now you're motivated, you havea step towards more courage to
(13:45):
achieve your goal.
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I think you're nailing the three C's.
That, yeah, that inner criticcreates this lack of confidence,
where you've just picked upthis belief from who knows where
over the course of your lifethat certain things aren't
possible for you.
Other people just have iteasier.
And when you go into somethingalready telling yourself you're
going to fail, of course you'renot going to give it your best
(14:10):
effort, of course you're notgoing to stick it out.
When times are hard becauseit's all becoming
self-fulfilling, you're like,see, I knew this is what was
going to happen.
And I think part of what canhelp is to what helps with
commitment is really gettingclear on why you're working
towards, whatever the goal is,beyond the surface level.
I want to look good or I wantto see this number or be the
(14:31):
size, but what difference doesit make?
How is my life really going tochange for the better?
Why is it worth sticking withthis, even when it's hard, even
when I feel like a failure andrealizing that, yes, we do want?
It's very important to do themental work and start addressing
these limiting beliefs and alsothe action can happen at the
(14:52):
same time, because taking actionis how you prove to yourself,
that's how you build confidence.
That's how you say I'm willingto try anyway.
I don't need to feel like it'sa sure shot or done deal before
I start something, but I have tobe willing to risk failure in
order to prove to myself that Ican do it.
And those the you have so manyopportunities to do that in
(15:14):
really small ways.
It doesn't need to be oh, I'llbe confident once I get this
promotion.
I'll be confident once I am asize six.
You can develop confidence everysingle day with setting small
commitments and then followingthrough on them for no other
reason than because you said youwould and because your
reputation with yourself matters.
And if you get in the habit ofsaying I'm going to drink this
(15:38):
glass of water because I said Iwould, I'm going to take this
walk because I said I would, youstart proving that you are
reliable and trustworthy.
And that's where confidencecomes from.
If I could do all those otherthings, maybe I can do this
thing, this thing too.
I know it's possible that I'llfail, but I'm willing to try
anyway because it's not reallyfailure.
I will either accomplish it orI will learn so that next time I
try I'm more likely to besuccessful.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
What about the thought of helping clients
connect their values to theircommitments?
Because it can be difficultwhen you're distracted and let's
just say that inner critic ispresent, you're not thinking
about your values and it's easyto become not motivated.
And when we can establish whatthose priorities and our values
(16:22):
are at the highest level andreally dissecting the level of
importance, with that you'remore likely to be committed to
small steps moving forward,because you're leaning in with
that value.
And when that value is reallypresent, it's hard to forget
(16:44):
about that.
That and I think I think aboutintegrity.
When you're tough with your task, with a tough decision at least
for me, I lean in withintegrity right, because with
integrity there's intent.
So I know, whatever thedecision that I'm trying to make
, the intent is for the benefitof my team and to make sure that
(17:09):
we're going in the rightdirection.
So, because integrity is highlypresent in that decision, I'm
okay if the results doesn't comeout as desirable as I want,
because I led in with integrityand I also know that there's a
learning opportunity that comeswith that right.
(17:30):
So when I talk about value, isthat something that you help
incorporate into your philosophyof helping your clients as well
?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's a great exercisethat a lot of us just don't do
or haven't done in a long time,and when you can parse out your
top three or five values, thosebecome such a good litmus test
for how you want to spend yourresources.
You're able to then say is thisthing that is demanding my time
, energy, money, whatever, isthis aligned with one or more of
(18:03):
my values?
And if not, that's a prettygood reason to not do that thing
or do less of it.
Sometimes it's not entirelypossible, but I think it really
helps simplify and helps youspend your resources on the
things that actually matter toyou.
And, like you said, it makes ita lot easier to then be
committed and be consistent whenyou know, regardless of the
(18:27):
outcome, I'm acting in alignmentwith my values.
And what more could I ask ofmyself?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Tell me this, because I meet a lot of fitness people
out there mindset coaches,things like that.
What really separates you frommost other approaches and
coaches out there?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, that's a great question I used to really
struggle with.
You know this is such asaturated market.
What makes you different?
All the exercises are the same,you know.
You give somebody a list ofprotein foods, it's all the same
.
What separates me is that Ifocus on the entire person.
Part of what got me intocoaching was losing my mom to
colon cancer in my earlytwenties and she had struggled
(19:06):
with her weight most of heradult life certainly my whole
life and I just knew I wasworking at a commercial gym.
I was a trainer.
I knew a lot of other trainersand I could see how they
interacted with their clientsand I often thought I wouldn't
want my mom to work with thatperson.
It felt like a lot of people inthe industry diminish their
(19:27):
clients to being one dimensional.
You're here just to work out.
I can give you a good workout.
Whatever else you do.
The other hours of the weekyou're on your own, or we're
here to just talk about food.
Follow the meal plan I gave you.
If you're not, well, that's onyou, but the reality of it is
we're all unique and dynamichuman beings and there is so
(19:51):
much more to all of us than thenumber on the scale or this one
health marker that we're lookingat, and a lot of why it's hard
to be consistent is deeperrooted stuff.
It's the limiting beliefs, it'sthe mindset stuff that we're
talking about, and I think we doclients a disservice when we
just focus on the surface leveland say here's your workout,
here's your meal plan.
(20:11):
But what we really need helpwith is understanding, A
understanding the client, buthelping clients understand
themselves and understand thatthere's nothing wrong with you.
You're not deficient, You'renot lacking anything.
You need to better understandyour brain, why you do what you
do, how you operate, and then,once you do, it's a lot easier
(20:36):
to work with a known entity andthen say okay, given what I know
about myself, how can I makethis exercise, nutrition stuff
feel easy?
So I think that's whatseparates me is that we're not
just looking at this one pieceof your life.
We're looking at your wholelife and making sure that the
changes we make for your healthare going to benefit you in
other places.
It's no good to reach yourhealth goal or your weight loss
goal or be in good health if yousacrifice your relationships or
(20:56):
your livelihood in pursuit ofit or you're no longer living a
life that you enjoy.
So I think it's about usinghealth as a catalyst to live the
best life you possibly can.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I love that.
And here's another question foryou, as you were talking right.
We have so many people in thisenvironment today.
They're about getting resultsin their whatever work
environment that they're inright, and it's about work I got
to get these results.
I don't want to, and they carrycertain fears that if I don't
get this done, I'm going to losemy job, whatever that looks
(21:30):
like Right.
How do you really help peopleconnect?
The value of their health isjust as important in getting the
results of what you're doing inyour professional world.
How do you help them make thatconnection?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
That's an excellent question, because often people
don't and they think they're atodds.
I'd love to exercise more, I'dlove to eat better, but I can't
because ABC, my kids, my job,whatever and the reality of it
is your health isn't going towait for you to find time or for
time to fall in your lap.
I was just reading a book theother night and I'll butcher the
(22:06):
direct quote, but the gist wasa healthy person has a thousand
wishes.
A sick person only has one, andI feel like that's what it
boils down to is, if you do notproactively make your health a
priority, odds are there isgoing to come a time where you
no longer have a choice, and notonly are you doing yourself a
(22:30):
disservice by not making healtha cornerstone of your life.
Every other aspect of your lifewill benefit.
Your relationships will improveif you feel good about yourself
and you know that you're atrustworthy, reliable person who
likes who you are.
You will be more productive atwork.
You'll be better able to managestress and burnout.
(22:51):
You'll be more likely to getpromoted more quickly, to make
more money, to enjoy yoursuccess for longer if you are a
healthy person and I was justtalking with a podcast that
focuses on finances forretirement.
And if you have a goal, ifyou're working hard now in your
early and your middle years witha goal to be able to retire and
be financially comfortable, andyou're a goal, if you're
working hard now in your earlyand your middle years with a
goal to be able to retire and befinancially comfortable, and
(23:13):
you're telling yourself I wantto do all these things, I want
to travel, I want to hike, Iwant to sightsee, you do not
want to get to your 60s, 70s andbeyond and not be able to do
those things you've been lookingforward to your entire life
because you didn't make yourhealth a priority.
So the reality of it is youcan't afford not to.
If you want to be successful,if you want to have healthy
(23:33):
relationships, if you want tofeel like the best possible
version of yourself, it startswith taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I want you to break this down for me, because you're
the health expert.
Okay, so people carry thislimiting belief.
Just like you said, I don'thave time, you know, for my
health right now because I gotto get this and that done, right
.
But here's where the limitingbelief really is present,
because we think making myhealth the priority means that I
(24:02):
need to be working out one totwo hours a day so that I can be
this health guru.
And they just carry that.
So then they see that bigpicture right, it's intimidating
(24:23):
, but the reality is all I needto do is move around, do some
extra walking, have some mindfulthoughts throughout the day.
Some gratitude, drink a littlebit more water.
Help clear up thismisconception for us.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, you are 100% right.
It boils down to the big rocks.
You do not need to beoverhauling your entire
lifestyle.
You need to be doing a littlebit more, a little bit better, a
little bit more consistentlythan you have been.
None of this is new news.
I'm not the first person totell you to take a walk.
The issue is that we, I thinktwofold.
One, we're not doing itconsistently, but two, even when
(25:04):
we are, we don't align ourexpectations with the effort
that we're putting in.
If we embrace the do lessmentality, we don't adjust our
expectations accordingly.
We still expect drastic results, even though we are no longer
doing the drastic overhaul.
And I am not suggesting youshould overhaul, but, generally
(25:26):
speaking, the more changes youmake, the faster the results
come.
So we need to reconcile this inour minds.
If what you have done beforehasn't been sustainable and the
results have been short-lived,then something has to change and
that something is startingsmaller, really letting these
habits become ingrained andcontinuously reminding yourself
(25:48):
that the results aren't going tocome overnight.
Nothing has gone wrong If youwake up after a week of doing
these things and you still feelroughly the same.
They are going to come, but youneed to be consistent over the
longterm, and the benefit oftaking these small actions is
that they feel doable in themidst of having a family, having
a job, so there's really noreason not to.
(26:09):
If I can do these handful ofsmall things each day, and in
three months, six months, a year, I'm going to feel I'm going to
be way better off for havingdone them.
Why wouldn't I?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Exactly, and learning how to pivot when you're not
having certain successes, butthinking more so about what's
the learning opportunity and howI can make an adjustment.
How can I pivot here becauseI'm not getting this particular
result?
Where can I grow at?
Who can I seek for more insightto help me?
(26:43):
I think all of that becomesvery powerful.
But at the same time, you'restill managing your same
workload.
Right, you could still be busy,but if you just say, for
example, if you're a remoteworker and you're working at
home and you have meetings backto back to back, okay, just like
(27:04):
when we met, when we first met,you was on your treadmill just
walking and we were talking.
You were knocking out two birdswith one stone, right, having a
meeting while you're walking,it was all good.
Or you could take a break inbetween meetings, which is five
minutes let's just say it's fiveminutes and do a quick
breathing exercise to regroundyourself from taking one stress
(27:30):
to the next meeting and addingmore stress in that meeting.
That's still part of yourself-care, your health.
Okay.
Instead of drinking soda, let'ssay you drink soda three times
a day.
Let's do it twice a day andthen incorporate a glass of
water, just making those subtlechanges, then see how you feel
(27:50):
and then go back to the boardgerm board and you know what?
I drank a little bit more waterand I do feel a little bit
better.
Let me try that, let me trythat again.
And each of those experiencesthat become positive is what
helps create the habit forconsistency.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, and something I think when you mentioned water,
it really struck a nerve with me.
I struggled to drink enoughwater for a really long time.
It's been about a couple ofyears since I've consistently
been drinking a sufficientamount of water and I think
sometimes we don't realize howbadly we're feeling because
we've gotten so used to it.
I never thought that I was, Inever like felt dehydrated.
(28:28):
I was never like oh, this lackof water is really getting to me
.
I felt what I thought wasnormal until I started regularly
drinking enough water and I waslike oh, I feel much better.
And now that I'm used tofeeling better if I drink less,
I feel the difference.
But often you might be feelinglike oh, this is just what
everybody feels, this is middleage, this is having a desk job,
(28:50):
this is everybody feels this way.
But you could probably feel waybetter and you don't even know
it yet.
But once you get a taste of it,that's where that commitment
kicks in.
You're just like okay, ofcourse I want to keep doing
these things that are making mefeel so good.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Absolutely, and I'm going to take it up a notch
because I manipulated my mind todrink more water, because I
started adding the little waterflavors.
I started adding them and I waslike, oh, this water tastes
actually pretty good.
This is to the point where nowwater tastes better than like
soda and all of these drinkswith all of this sugar and
(29:25):
things in it.
I spend most of my time when Igo to the store.
Now I buy the water flavors andI have specific brands that I
like, right, feel, just better,because I'm consistently
flushing out my system becauseof all of the water I'm drinking
.
It's just a game changer.
But it's making little tweakslike that really doesn't hurt
(29:49):
you or limit you and you stilldo your same routine.
But now I found a flavor that Ican put in my water that I'm
addicted to and it just makes medrink more water Win-win.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What's really standing out to me is you're
being a problem solver, and Ithink I talk to clients about
this all the time.
You can either be somebody wholooks for excuses or you can be
somebody who looks for solutions, and you have to remember that,
at the end of the day, yourgoals are your own.
They're something that you want.
It's easy to be like.
Oh yeah, I should probablydrink more water, but I don't
like the taste of it.
(30:23):
That's not convenient to have awater bottle.
I never think about it, Ialways forget, I don't want to
have to pee all the time andyou're just like rattling off
the reasons why you can't.
If that's where you're shiningyour mental spotlight.
Of course, nothing is going tochange Exactly, but if you say,
this thing has value to me, Iwant to be doing it because I
know the benefits are ABC and inmy life is going to improve for
(30:43):
having done it.
Right now it doesn't feelnatural.
What are the possibilities?
What could I do to help myself?
I started I was using flavorenhancers.
Also, what has ended up stickingfor me long-term is this app.
It's called Plant Nanny.
It's free I'm not sponsoringanything but basically log your
water.
You grow these little plantsand that's it.
It's just, it's a little bit ofan extra reason to do it, and I
(31:05):
think sometimes we talkourselves out of doing these
things because we tell ourselveslike, oh, I should be able to
do it without, I shouldn't needthis X, y and the other thing.
But if you're having a hardtime, as is just telling
yourself I just need to, isn't astrategy.
Ask yourself what specificallyam I going to do differently to
get a different outcome?
(31:25):
If I want to drink more watertomorrow, I'm going to feel the
same way about water as I dotoday.
Nothing's going to changeunless I am intentional with how
that's going to be.
And once you apply that mindsetto your life, possibilities
everywhere.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Everywhere.
I appreciate that so much.
It's power in what you justsaid, so my listeners need to
know how they can get ahold ofyou.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
My website is estheravantcom.
I also have a podcast called Toyour Health, where I dive into
all of this stuff as well, andmy book is called To your Health
A Lifestyle of Health,Happiness and Confidence, and it
is a deep dive into everythingwe've been talking about today
the exercise and nutrition, bigrocks, how to get yourself the
support that you need and a bigchunk of the book is exactly
(32:08):
this stuff is the mental pieceof how do I go about thinking
about and doing my life in sucha way that being a healthy
person starts to feel easy.
So you can get that on Amazonor wherever you buy books.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, and before we sign out, you got to give us one
success story that's reallydear to you, in someone that you
helped.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Oh my gosh, it's so hard to pick.
One comes to mind just becauseshe recently we're communicating
through our messenger system,so she's fresh in my mind.
She's lost nearly a hundredpounds.
She came to us havingexperienced a lot of recent
grief and trauma in her life andshe realized that her health
needed to be a priority.
It could no longer be on theback burner and she fully
(32:52):
embraced everything we've beentalking about.
Yes, she was putting in thework, she was taking the walks
and lifting the weights andeating the food, but she was
willing to do the deep mentalwork and her whole life has
improved.
Her relationship with her sonis better, she's thriving in her
career and recently she wasasked on a date and, for the
first time in years, felt goodenough about herself to say yes
(33:16):
and explore the possibility of arelationship in her life.
So that's exactly what I meanwhen I talk about the spillover
that it's not just which clothesyou're pulling out of your
closet, it's about improvingyour whole life.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Thank you for sharing that.
By the way, that's a wonderfulstory and congratulations to
Miss Client, who you'rereferring to.
Really happy.
Any lasting thoughts that youwould like to share as we get
ready to sign off?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, I think the thing that's coming to mind is
that I know from experience howeasy it is to consume
information and to be noddingalong while you're driving or
while you're eating and to besaying like, yeah, this is
really good stuff, and then toget busy and not take action on
it.
So my challenge to you would beto take just one thing that
we've talked about today,whether it's a practical like I
am going to go buy some crystallight and drink some water or
some of the deeper let meexplore my limiting beliefs or
(34:06):
why I don't believe that this ispossible for me but take action
on something that you heardtoday, because that's where the
change comes from.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
There it is, miss Esther Avant.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
This was a blast mind.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Thank you, Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
This was a blast.
Thank you for joining me inthis episode of let's Think
About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
(34:47):
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach Mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(35:13):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
Her name is Esther Avant.
Esther, what's up?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm excited to chat with youtoday.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Absolutely so.
Where are you checking in from?
What part of the world are youcalling in from?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'm in sunny San Diego.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Sunny, san Diego, born and raised.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
No Came here.
In my early 20s I grew up inNew England and had one winter
too many Came out here.
Very promptly met my husband,who's in the military, and we've
been gone for about a decadeand just came full circle and
are back here again.
Very happy to be back.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Yeah, don't lie, you're addicted to the weather
in San Diego, right?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, it's very hard not to be.
It's just so nice for theweather to not even be a thing
you have to think about.
Your plans aren't revolving onwell, if it's nice out or if it
doesn't rain, you can justconsistently be outside, be
doing fun and active stuff, andit's not a consideration.
So, yeah, that's cool.
(02:35):
So tell us about yourself.
What do you do?
What value do you bring to thepeople that you work with?
To podcast hosting and Ipublished a book that came out
last year, and I'm beginning aspeaking career as well all with
the mission of helping peopleprioritize their lives so they
can live their healthiest,prioritize their health so they
(02:56):
can live their healthiest,happiest, most confident lives
and also thrive in their careersand in their personal lives.
What I've seen from coachinghundreds of women over this time
is that the benefits of livinga healthy lifestyle and
prioritizing your health extendfar beyond just that.
(03:17):
That when you essentially crackthe code of what it takes to be
healthy, to change your habits,you develop this confidence
that just makes you unstoppable,and so many of my clients
started seeing the spillover of.
They would come to me to loseweight and on our coaching calls
(03:40):
we'd be talking about howthey're getting promoted or
they're going back to school,they're starting businesses,
their relationships areimproving all because they
decided that they were worthy ofbeing a priority in their lives
.
And that's what I'm on amission to help people do is
realize that health, it can't bean afterthought, but the time
that you spend prioritizing itis going to pay for itself in
(04:03):
dividends in every aspect ofyour life.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Take me through the process.
How did you develop thisawareness of prioritizing health
, making it very important foryou?
What was that?
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Trial and error, like for most people, and that's
part of what I love aboutcoaching is I can help my
clients avoid the same pitfallsthat I had to experience, and
largely I discovered working outwhen I was in high school,
right before college.
Being active in the gym made mewant to care more about what I
(04:38):
put into my body.
I went to college in a reallyhealthy place.
That's why I decided to majorin exercise science and almost
immediately had this kind ofidentity crisis where I stopped
working out.
I started eating at the dininghall.
I had everything I wanted at myfingertips.
I gained a bunch of weight,just totally lost sight of the
things that made me feel good,and that was my first
(05:00):
introduction to oh.
This stuff isn't just aboutlooking a certain way.
It affects everything.
That when you are not puttingnutritious food in your body,
when you're not moving your body, you're sluggish and you feel
badly about yourself and itmakes you not want to do other
things and it makes it harder tostudy and retain information.
Just had this cascade effect,got myself back to a good place,
(05:23):
figured out who I was again,and then, at each of my
transitions in young adulthood,moving cross country from Boston
to San Diego.
I struggled to be consistentwith these things.
Even knowing how important theywere, it was still hard to
continue doing them or to figureout what they needed to look
like in each new chapter of mylife, because often what I see
(05:45):
is that we'll have things, willbe cruising for a while, but
then we have some sort of lifechange or disruption and we just
end up falling on our butts andrather than picking ourselves
back up and figuring out, oh, mylife is different, now things
need to look different we justblame our lack of discipline or
lack of motivation and arereally hard on ourselves.
(06:05):
So it was through experiencingall of that myself that I
realized the certifications, thetextbook, knowledge on the
science of exercise nutritionthey're important, but they're
not what was going to be mostimpactful in my life or in my
clients' lives.
And that's where I startedreally diving into human
behavior and understanding howour brains work, why we are
(06:27):
inclined to do what we do andhow we actually take the what to
do and implement it in ourunique lives in a way that gives
us the confidence to say evenif circumstances change in the
future which they inevitablywill I can trust myself to
recalibrate as I need to andmaintain my health no matter
(06:48):
what.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
I'm listening to you and the one word that, like
really sticks out to me isconsistency, right, and being in
the let's just say thecorporate environment, right.
And we're showing up.
I have to do this, we got to dothat task and we put our own
health on the back burner, ourself-care on the back burner,
(07:10):
right, and we're not reallyconsistent in managing our own
personal self-care.
Okay, so I'm assuming that youdeal with a lot of clients and
the common theme is consistency,right, and how they are
prioritizing their self-care.
So, just to start this topicoff, how do you help your
(07:34):
clients establish moreconsistency around their
self-care?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
This is an excellent question, and consistency is my
jam.
In my book I talk about therebeing three Cs of success your
commitment, your consistency andyour confidence.
And when we are struggling toreach a goal, it is a lack of
one or several of those Csthat's holding us back and the
way we increase them.
So we'll focus on consistency.
(08:01):
The way we focus on consistencyis threefold.
Number one you got to stoptrying to do all the things.
We tend to want to make thesegrandiose efforts, but the
reality of it is, when we haveso many competing demands on our
time and our energy, we don'thave a whole lot to give, and
(08:21):
this is very classic tortoiseand hare situation.
But you're so much better offdoing less, but really
committing to doing itconsistently and doing it well
and doing that over the longterm and then, as you feel ready
, adding a little bit more,adding another thing, rather
than trying to dive in with bothfeet and flailing around.
Number one is determine.
What are the I call them thebig rocks, what are the handful
(08:44):
of behaviors that are going togenerate the majority of my
results?
Generally speaking, for people,these are eating the right
number of calories, prioritizingyour protein and fiber, general
daily movement, walking,strength training, rest and
recovery In general.
If you're focusing on justthose things, you're going to be
in a pretty good place.
What that also means is lettinggo all the other noise out
(09:06):
there.
It's easy to get bombarded withcontent about what we should be
doing and we end up feelinglike if we're not doing all of
it and doing it perfectly, thenit's not worth doing and it's
not going to make any difference.
So you have to both be able toparse out what matters and then
let go of the other stuff.
Put your blinders on and say ifit's not one of these three
(09:27):
things or five things on my list, I am not worrying about it
right now, and down the road youmight decide.
Now I've got the big rocksquared away.
I want to experiment with somesmaller things.
Sure, or you might realize, I'mgetting results that I'm happy
with and I'm spending a lot lesstime and energy.
I'm not feeling overwhelmed,it's not feeling unsustainable
and I'm good there.
So that's number one figure outyour big rocks.
(09:48):
Number two having support willskyrocket your consistency, and
that can take on lots ofdifferent forms depending on
where you are in your life andwhat you need help with.
But whether it's a coach or atrainer or a therapist or a
workout class where you havepeople who are expecting you to
show up a walking buddy at work,a friend that you meal prep
(10:11):
with your family we tend to feellike we have to be doing all of
this by ourselves, like we haveto shoulder all of the burden.
That if we ask for help, it's asign of weakness and the
reality of it is.
Sure you are capable of doingit on your own, but it's a sign
of weakness and the reality ofit.
Is sure you are capable ofdoing it on your own, but it's a
lot more pleasant and it'sgoing to be easier and faster if
you get comfortable saying, hey, I could use some help.
(10:32):
And here's how Be really clearwith your communication on what
a person can help you with.
So if that's, my verywell-meaning husband keeps
bringing home my favorite wineat night because he knows that I
like it to relax, except thatI'm taking in all these empty
calories and I'm sleepingterribly and I don't want to be
drinking anymore why don't Ihave that conversation with him
and approach it from thestandpoint of I appreciate what
(10:54):
you're doing and I know you wantto support me.
Here's what you could do that Iwould actually appreciate right
now.
So number two you'll be moreconsistent if you have other
people that you're talking toabout your goals, if you have
somebody that you're accountableto.
That will help you build theaccountability to yourself.
Ultimately, you want to get tothe point where you're doing
these things because it's whoyou are, it's what you said you
do and you can trust yourself.
(11:14):
But having a little bit ofexternal accountability guidance
, support, community goes areally long way.
And the final piece of boostingyour consistency is to stop
being so hard on yourself.
We're very mostly we're our owntoughest critics and any slight
imperfection we tell ourselvesoh, you blew it Once again.
You're a complete failure.
(11:35):
You should have known this wasgoing to happen.
It always does.
You just don't have thediscipline for it and we're
really hard on ourselves and wethink that we need to berate
ourselves into submission.
But that's not how it works.
You are not going to show upfor someone you don't love and
care about, giving yourself thesame compassion you would give
to another person.
Just accepting yourimperfections, accepting your
slip-ups and takingresponsibility for what you're
(11:57):
going to do differently to avoidrepeating the same things over
and over again.
Accept that you're going tomake mistakes and then learn
from them.
You're growing as time goes on.
When you practice those threecomponents, you will no longer
struggle with consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And the last one, right, the inner critic is what
I like to call it.
The inner critic.
And here's an element that Iwant to go a little bit deeper
on the last bridge that youpresented.
The inner critic affects yourenergy.
You have this limiting belief Ican't, I won't, oh my God, this
is hard, this and this right.
(12:33):
And in those moments you'redistracted from your true self,
your true worth, because you'refocused on what you can't do.
And in that moment, whileyou're focused on what you can't
do, your energy is limited,you're not as motivated, right.
And so you're stagnant.
And so then, when you start toincorporate I need to lose
(12:57):
weight and the consistency part,like you had the other two
pillars, but then the finalpillar, that inner critic is
chirping, trying to recast thatold experience of you not being
successful because you triedthis diet plan that moment is
speaking pause, stuck.
(13:17):
I don't know.
I don't want to, I don't wantto fail, want to, I don't want
to fail, right.
And if we can just move that tothe side and actually look at
the optimistic side of thingsand see the possibilities, right
Now you're motivated, you havea step towards more courage to
(13:45):
achieve your goal.
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I think you're nailing the three C's.
That, yeah, that inner criticcreates this lack of confidence,
where you've just picked upthis belief from who knows where
over the course of your lifethat certain things aren't
possible for you.
Other people just have iteasier.
And when you go into somethingalready telling yourself you're
going to fail, of course you'renot going to give it your best
(14:10):
effort, of course you're notgoing to stick it out.
When times are hard becauseit's all becoming
self-fulfilling, you're like,see, I knew this is what was
going to happen.
And I think part of what canhelp is to what helps with
commitment is really gettingclear on why you're working
towards, whatever the goal is,beyond the surface level.
I want to look good or I wantto see this number or be the
(14:31):
size, but what difference doesit make?
How is my life really going tochange for the better?
Why is it worth sticking withthis, even when it's hard, even
when I feel like a failure andrealizing that, yes, we do want?
It's very important to do themental work and start addressing
these limiting beliefs and alsothe action can happen at the
(14:52):
same time, because taking actionis how you prove to yourself,
that's how you build confidence.
That's how you say I'm willingto try anyway.
I don't need to feel like it'sa sure shot or done deal before
I start something, but I have tobe willing to risk failure in
order to prove to myself that Ican do it.
And those the you have so manyopportunities to do that in
(15:14):
really small ways.
It doesn't need to be oh, I'llbe confident once I get this
promotion.
I'll be confident once I am asize six.
You can develop confidence everysingle day with setting small
commitments and then followingthrough on them for no other
reason than because you said youwould and because your
reputation with yourself matters.
And if you get in the habit ofsaying I'm going to drink this
(15:38):
glass of water because I said Iwould, I'm going to take this
walk because I said I would, youstart proving that you are
reliable and trustworthy.
And that's where confidencecomes from.
If I could do all those otherthings, maybe I can do this
thing, this thing too.
I know it's possible that I'llfail, but I'm willing to try
anyway because it's not reallyfailure.
I will either accomplish it orI will learn so that next time I
try I'm more likely to besuccessful.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
What about the thought of helping clients
connect their values to theircommitments?
Because it can be difficultwhen you're distracted and let's
just say that inner critic ispresent, you're not thinking
about your values and it's easyto become not motivated.
And when we can establish whatthose priorities and our values
(16:22):
are at the highest level andreally dissecting the level of
importance, with that you'remore likely to be committed to
small steps moving forward,because you're leaning in with
that value.
And when that value is reallypresent, it's hard to forget
(16:44):
about that.
That and I think I think aboutintegrity.
When you're tough with your task, with a tough decision at least
for me, I lean in withintegrity right, because with
integrity there's intent.
So I know, whatever thedecision that I'm trying to make
, the intent is for the benefitof my team and to make sure that
(17:09):
we're going in the rightdirection.
So, because integrity is highlypresent in that decision, I'm
okay if the results doesn't comeout as desirable as I want,
because I led in with integrityand I also know that there's a
learning opportunity that comeswith that right.
(17:30):
So when I talk about value, isthat something that you help
incorporate into your philosophyof helping your clients as well
?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think it's a great exercisethat a lot of us just don't do
or haven't done in a long time,and when you can parse out your
top three or five values, thosebecome such a good litmus test
for how you want to spend yourresources.
You're able to then say is thisthing that is demanding my time
, energy, money, whatever, isthis aligned with one or more of
(18:03):
my values?
And if not, that's a prettygood reason to not do that thing
or do less of it.
Sometimes it's not entirelypossible, but I think it really
helps simplify and helps youspend your resources on the
things that actually matter toyou.
And, like you said, it makes ita lot easier to then be
committed and be consistent whenyou know, regardless of the
(18:27):
outcome, I'm acting in alignmentwith my values.
And what more could I ask ofmyself?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Tell me this, because I meet a lot of fitness people
out there mindset coaches,things like that.
What really separates you frommost other approaches and
coaches out there?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, that's a great question I used to really
struggle with.
You know this is such asaturated market.
What makes you different?
All the exercises are the same,you know.
You give somebody a list ofprotein foods, it's all the same
.
What separates me is that Ifocus on the entire person.
Part of what got me intocoaching was losing my mom to
colon cancer in my earlytwenties and she had struggled
(19:06):
with her weight most of heradult life certainly my whole
life and I just knew I wasworking at a commercial gym.
I was a trainer.
I knew a lot of other trainersand I could see how they
interacted with their clientsand I often thought I wouldn't
want my mom to work with thatperson.
It felt like a lot of people inthe industry diminish their
(19:27):
clients to being one dimensional.
You're here just to work out.
I can give you a good workout.
Whatever else you do.
The other hours of the weekyou're on your own, or we're
here to just talk about food.
Follow the meal plan I gave you.
If you're not, well, that's onyou, but the reality of it is
we're all unique and dynamichuman beings and there is so
(19:51):
much more to all of us than thenumber on the scale or this one
health marker that we're lookingat, and a lot of why it's hard
to be consistent is deeperrooted stuff.
It's the limiting beliefs, it'sthe mindset stuff that we're
talking about, and I think we doclients a disservice when we
just focus on the surface leveland say here's your workout,
here's your meal plan.
(20:11):
But what we really need helpwith is understanding, A
understanding the client, buthelping clients understand
themselves and understand thatthere's nothing wrong with you.
You're not deficient, You'renot lacking anything.
You need to better understandyour brain, why you do what you
do, how you operate, and then,once you do, it's a lot easier
(20:36):
to work with a known entity andthen say okay, given what I know
about myself, how can I makethis exercise, nutrition stuff
feel easy?
So I think that's whatseparates me is that we're not
just looking at this one pieceof your life.
We're looking at your wholelife and making sure that the
changes we make for your healthare going to benefit you in
other places.
It's no good to reach yourhealth goal or your weight loss
goal or be in good health if yousacrifice your relationships or
(20:56):
your livelihood in pursuit ofit or you're no longer living a
life that you enjoy.
So I think it's about usinghealth as a catalyst to live the
best life you possibly can.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I love that.
And here's another question foryou, as you were talking right.
We have so many people in thisenvironment today.
They're about getting resultsin their whatever work
environment that they're inright, and it's about work I got
to get these results.
I don't want to, and they carrycertain fears that if I don't
get this done, I'm going to losemy job, whatever that looks
(21:30):
like Right.
How do you really help peopleconnect?
The value of their health isjust as important in getting the
results of what you're doing inyour professional world.
How do you help them make thatconnection?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
That's an excellent question, because often people
don't and they think they're atodds.
I'd love to exercise more, I'dlove to eat better, but I can't
because ABC, my kids, my job,whatever and the reality of it
is your health isn't going towait for you to find time or for
time to fall in your lap.
I was just reading a book theother night and I'll butcher the
(22:06):
direct quote, but the gist wasa healthy person has a thousand
wishes.
A sick person only has one, andI feel like that's what it
boils down to is, if you do notproactively make your health a
priority, odds are there isgoing to come a time where you
no longer have a choice, and notonly are you doing yourself a
(22:30):
disservice by not making healtha cornerstone of your life.
Every other aspect of your lifewill benefit.
Your relationships will improveif you feel good about yourself
and you know that you're atrustworthy, reliable person who
likes who you are.
You will be more productive atwork.
You'll be better able to managestress and burnout.
(22:51):
You'll be more likely to getpromoted more quickly, to make
more money, to enjoy yoursuccess for longer if you are a
healthy person and I was justtalking with a podcast that
focuses on finances forretirement.
And if you have a goal, ifyou're working hard now in your
early and your middle years witha goal to be able to retire and
be financially comfortable, andyou're a goal, if you're
working hard now in your earlyand your middle years with a
goal to be able to retire and befinancially comfortable, and
(23:13):
you're telling yourself I wantto do all these things, I want
to travel, I want to hike, Iwant to sightsee, you do not
want to get to your 60s, 70s andbeyond and not be able to do
those things you've been lookingforward to your entire life
because you didn't make yourhealth a priority.
So the reality of it is youcan't afford not to.
If you want to be successful,if you want to have healthy
(23:33):
relationships, if you want tofeel like the best possible
version of yourself, it startswith taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I want you to break this down for me, because you're
the health expert.
Okay, so people carry thislimiting belief.
Just like you said, I don'thave time, you know, for my
health right now because I gotto get this and that done, right
.
But here's where the limitingbelief really is present,
because we think making myhealth the priority means that I
(24:02):
need to be working out one totwo hours a day so that I can be
this health guru.
And they just carry that.
So then they see that bigpicture right, it's intimidating
(24:23):
, but the reality is all I needto do is move around, do some
extra walking, have some mindfulthoughts throughout the day.
Some gratitude, drink a littlebit more water.
Help clear up thismisconception for us.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, you are 100% right.
It boils down to the big rocks.
You do not need to beoverhauling your entire
lifestyle.
You need to be doing a littlebit more, a little bit better, a
little bit more consistentlythan you have been.
None of this is new news.
I'm not the first person totell you to take a walk.
The issue is that we, I thinktwofold.
One, we're not doing itconsistently, but two, even when
(25:04):
we are, we don't align ourexpectations with the effort
that we're putting in.
If we embrace the do lessmentality, we don't adjust our
expectations accordingly.
We still expect drastic results, even though we are no longer
doing the drastic overhaul.
And I am not suggesting youshould overhaul, but, generally
(25:26):
speaking, the more changes youmake, the faster the results
come.
So we need to reconcile this inour minds.
If what you have done beforehasn't been sustainable and the
results have been short-lived,then something has to change and
that something is startingsmaller, really letting these
habits become ingrained andcontinuously reminding yourself
(25:48):
that the results aren't going tocome overnight.
Nothing has gone wrong If youwake up after a week of doing
these things and you still feelroughly the same.
They are going to come, but youneed to be consistent over the
longterm, and the benefit oftaking these small actions is
that they feel doable in themidst of having a family, having
a job, so there's really noreason not to.
(26:09):
If I can do these handful ofsmall things each day, and in
three months, six months, a year, I'm going to feel I'm going to
be way better off for havingdone them.
Why wouldn't I?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Exactly, and learning how to pivot when you're not
having certain successes, butthinking more so about what's
the learning opportunity and howI can make an adjustment.
How can I pivot here becauseI'm not getting this particular
result?
Where can I grow at?
Who can I seek for more insightto help me?
(26:43):
I think all of that becomesvery powerful.
But at the same time, you'restill managing your same
workload.
Right, you could still be busy,but if you just say, for
example, if you're a remoteworker and you're working at
home and you have meetings backto back to back, okay, just like
(27:04):
when we met, when we first met,you was on your treadmill just
walking and we were talking.
You were knocking out two birdswith one stone, right, having a
meeting while you're walking,it was all good.
Or you could take a break inbetween meetings, which is five
minutes let's just say it's fiveminutes and do a quick
breathing exercise to regroundyourself from taking one stress
(27:30):
to the next meeting and addingmore stress in that meeting.
That's still part of yourself-care, your health.
Okay.
Instead of drinking soda, let'ssay you drink soda three times
a day.
Let's do it twice a day andthen incorporate a glass of
water, just making those subtlechanges, then see how you feel
(27:50):
and then go back to the boardgerm board and you know what?
I drank a little bit more waterand I do feel a little bit
better.
Let me try that, let me trythat again.
And each of those experiencesthat become positive is what
helps create the habit forconsistency.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, and something I think when you mentioned water,
it really struck a nerve with me.
I struggled to drink enoughwater for a really long time.
It's been about a couple ofyears since I've consistently
been drinking a sufficientamount of water and I think
sometimes we don't realize howbadly we're feeling because
we've gotten so used to it.
I never thought that I was, Inever like felt dehydrated.
(28:28):
I was never like oh, this lackof water is really getting to me
.
I felt what I thought wasnormal until I started regularly
drinking enough water and I waslike oh, I feel much better.
And now that I'm used tofeeling better if I drink less,
I feel the difference.
But often you might be feelinglike oh, this is just what
everybody feels, this is middleage, this is having a desk job,
(28:50):
this is everybody feels this way.
But you could probably feel waybetter and you don't even know
it yet.
But once you get a taste of it,that's where that commitment
kicks in.
You're just like okay, ofcourse I want to keep doing
these things that are making mefeel so good.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Absolutely, and I'm going to take it up a notch
because I manipulated my mind todrink more water, because I
started adding the little waterflavors.
I started adding them and I waslike, oh, this water tastes
actually pretty good.
This is to the point where nowwater tastes better than like
soda and all of these drinkswith all of this sugar and
(29:25):
things in it.
I spend most of my time when Igo to the store.
Now I buy the water flavors andI have specific brands that I
like, right, feel, just better,because I'm consistently
flushing out my system becauseof all of the water I'm drinking
.
It's just a game changer.
But it's making little tweakslike that really doesn't hurt
(29:49):
you or limit you and you stilldo your same routine.
But now I found a flavor that Ican put in my water that I'm
addicted to and it just makes medrink more water Win-win.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
What's really standing out to me is you're
being a problem solver, and Ithink I talk to clients about
this all the time.
You can either be somebody wholooks for excuses or you can be
somebody who looks for solutions, and you have to remember that,
at the end of the day, yourgoals are your own.
They're something that you want.
It's easy to be like.
Oh yeah, I should probablydrink more water, but I don't
like the taste of it.
(30:23):
That's not convenient to have awater bottle.
I never think about it, Ialways forget, I don't want to
have to pee all the time andyou're just like rattling off
the reasons why you can't.
If that's where you're shiningyour mental spotlight.
Of course, nothing is going tochange Exactly, but if you say,
this thing has value to me, Iwant to be doing it because I
know the benefits are ABC and inmy life is going to improve for
(30:43):
having done it.
Right now it doesn't feelnatural.
What are the possibilities?
What could I do to help myself?
I started I was using flavorenhancers.
Also, what has ended up stickingfor me long-term is this app.
It's called Plant Nanny.
It's free I'm not sponsoringanything but basically log your
water.
You grow these little plantsand that's it.
It's just, it's a little bit ofan extra reason to do it, and I
(31:05):
think sometimes we talkourselves out of doing these
things because we tell ourselveslike, oh, I should be able to
do it without, I shouldn't needthis X, y and the other thing.
But if you're having a hardtime, as is just telling
yourself I just need to, isn't astrategy.
Ask yourself what specificallyam I going to do differently to
get a different outcome?
(31:25):
If I want to drink more watertomorrow, I'm going to feel the
same way about water as I dotoday.
Nothing's going to changeunless I am intentional with how
that's going to be.
And once you apply that mindsetto your life, possibilities
everywhere.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Everywhere.
I appreciate that so much.
It's power in what you justsaid, so my listeners need to
know how they can get ahold ofyou.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
My website is estheravantcom.
I also have a podcast called Toyour Health, where I dive into
all of this stuff as well, andmy book is called To your Health
A Lifestyle of Health,Happiness and Confidence, and it
is a deep dive into everythingwe've been talking about today
the exercise and nutrition, bigrocks, how to get yourself the
support that you need and a bigchunk of the book is exactly
(32:08):
this stuff is the mental pieceof how do I go about thinking
about and doing my life in sucha way that being a healthy
person starts to feel easy.
So you can get that on Amazonor wherever you buy books.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, and before we sign out, you got to give us one
success story that's reallydear to you, in someone that you
helped.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Oh my gosh, it's so hard to pick.
One comes to mind just becauseshe recently we're communicating
through our messenger system,so she's fresh in my mind.
She's lost nearly a hundredpounds.
She came to us havingexperienced a lot of recent
grief and trauma in her life andshe realized that her health
needed to be a priority.
It could no longer be on theback burner and she fully
(32:52):
embraced everything we've beentalking about.
Yes, she was putting in thework, she was taking the walks
and lifting the weights andeating the food, but she was
willing to do the deep mentalwork and her whole life has
improved.
Her relationship with her sonis better, she's thriving in her
career and recently she wasasked on a date and, for the
first time in years, felt goodenough about herself to say yes
(33:16):
and explore the possibility of arelationship in her life.
So that's exactly what I meanwhen I talk about the spillover
that it's not just which clothesyou're pulling out of your
closet, it's about improvingyour whole life.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Thank you for sharing that.
By the way, that's a wonderfulstory and congratulations to
Miss Client, who you'rereferring to.
Really happy.
Any lasting thoughts that youwould like to share as we get
ready to sign off?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, I think the thing that's coming to mind is
that I know from experience howeasy it is to consume
information and to be noddingalong while you're driving or
while you're eating and to besaying like, yeah, this is
really good stuff, and then toget busy and not take action on
it.
So my challenge to you would beto take just one thing that
we've talked about today,whether it's a practical like I
am going to go buy some crystallight and drink some water or
some of the deeper let meexplore my limiting beliefs or
(34:06):
why I don't believe that this ispossible for me but take action
on something that you heardtoday, because that's where the
change comes from.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
There it is, miss Esther Avant.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
This was a blast mind.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Thank you, Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me.
This was a blast.
Thank you for joining me inthis episode of let's Think
About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
(34:47):
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach Mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(35:13):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
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