April 7, 2025 • 33 mins
What propels us forward when fears and limiting beliefs threaten to hold us back? Zoe Thompson's journey from an 18-year-old civilian in a police station to a senior leader managing officers provides a masterclass in determination and proving doubters wrong.
Growing up with a father whose mantra was "the bigger they come, the harder they fall," Zoe developed an unstoppable drive that served her well when facing triple bias as young, female, and a civilian in leadership. Her philosophy? "If you tell me I can't do it, you can then watch me do it." This mindset became her superpower in navigating challenges throughout her 20-year policing career.
Our conversation delves into the psychology of fear and how it functions as a distraction from our values. When we're afraid – whether of public speaking or taking on new challenges – our values temporarily recede. But as Zoe explains, "The anticipation anxiety is very real, and the more you stand on the sidelines, the bigger it gets." The solution? Step into action, and watch your values rise as the fear diminishes.
Today, Zoe coaches ambitious professionals who are already successful but recognize that "what got you here won't get you there." Using frameworks like PIPS (Plan, Intention, identity, Performance, Structure) and the KSA bridge (Knowledge, Skills, Action), she helps clients identify what's truly holding them back from their next summit. Her proudest successes? Helping working parents achieve professional excellence without sacrificing family time.
Whether you're facing fear in leadership, career transitions, or personal growth, this episode offers practical wisdom on moving forward with purpose. As Zoe reminds us, "Take the step, take action, and give yourself space to bounce it around and work it through once you're in it, but don't do that from the sidelines."
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
Her name is Zoe Thompson.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Zoe what's up?
Hey, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Good to be here.
I'm awesome.
I'm happy that you're here.
What part of the world are youchecking in from?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I am in Bristol, which is in the southwest of
England, so between London andWales.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Tell me something that you love about the UK and
the area you live in.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Oh, what's to love about the UK?
It's not the weather, never theweather.
We're never happy with theweather.
I love Bristol.
Bristol has a little bit ofeverything.
It's a really vibrant city.
It's really mixed.
We've got a great reputationfor music and culture and arts.
There is always something goingon here.
I'm born here, always livedhere, and whilst I love to
(02:19):
travel, it's always good to comeback to home here too, so it's
a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's great and we're happy to have you here
today.
Thank you, tell us who you are,what you do and the value that
you bring.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Great first question.
Okay, let's try and answer thisas succinctly as possible.
Who am I?
What do I do?
I am a coach and a trainer.
I work with people who arelooking to be successful in life
, in leadership, in business,and I help them with strategies,
(02:53):
mindset, confidence across allof those areas.
A lot of the people that I workwith they're already halfway up
the mountain, so they'vealready achieved lots.
They're already successfulpeople and they've got their
eyes on the summit.
But they know that what gotthem to where they are is not
going to get them to where theywant to go next.
So, in the words of MarshallGoldsmith, what got you here
(03:14):
won't get you there.
They know that they perhapsneed to look at mindset.
They know they need some extratools in the toolbox to get to
where they're going.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
So, whether it's life , leadership or business, those
are the level I do, so take usthrough the journey of how you
got to where you are and how yougained this experience of
helping people.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
So my career first started at 18.
So I did my A-levels here andthen there was lots of
conversations about going touniversity, or college as you
call it and I didn't want to goto university.
So my parents were both policeofficers.
My mum's dad was also a policeofficer.
So I knew from a really earlyage that was what I wanted to do
(03:57):
.
So whilst my school were quitekeen for me to look at
university as an option, I knewthat wasn't the road that I
wanted to go down.
So I joined the police as acivilian at 18, straight out of
school.
I thought I knew everything, asyou do at 18.
Worked in the front desk of apolice station so very entry
level role and learned veryquickly that I knew nothing
(04:21):
about the world at 18 and theworld of policing and the world
as it actually is.
My eyes were opened pretty widevery quickly but I absolutely
loved it, really loved it, lovedthe work, loved the people.
And then from there the goalwas always to be a police
officer.
That was always the goal tojoin as a civilian and then
(04:41):
apply to be a police officerwhen recruitment opened.
Recruitment did open and Ididn't get through.
So I made the decision to sitit out, wait for recruitment to
open again.
But then an opportunity came upfor a supervisor role, so I
went for it and got it and neverreally looked back after that.
My career took off as acivilian in leadership.
(05:03):
So I started off as a teamleader and eventually worked my
way right the way up through tonearly the top of the
organization as far as you canpretty much get as a civilian
and finished up in a seniorleadership role.
20 years in total, lots ofdifferent roles, lots of
different operational roles,doing a lot of jobs that police
(05:23):
officers used to do that are nowdone by civilians.
But actually out of those 20years, 15 of those were in
leadership.
So absolutely love.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
that that's amazing.
Take us through the process ofyour mindset as you encounter
certain biases as a woman goingthrough the ranks of becoming an
exceptional leader.
What was some of those biasesthat you had to deal with and
how did you overcome it?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I think the challenge for me is I don't know that I
can always pinpoint what thebias was.
So I think sometimes it wasfemale, I think sometimes it was
the fact that I was young, andI think sometimes it was the
fact that I was young and Ithink sometimes it was the fact
that I was a civilian and not apolice officer and I was
managing police officers.
There weren't.
I think I was one of the firstcivilian staff that had a
(06:14):
responsibility for policeofficers.
Up until then, police officersmanaged police officers and it
was very separate.
So I think the biases weresometimes quite hard to pinpoint
.
I couldn't work out what isyour issue here?
Is it because I'm young, or isit because I'm not a police
officer?
And some sometimes I think itwas probably all three.
There were certainly somedepartments that I worked in
(06:36):
where it was really difficult topin down, but I think in the
early days, in a team leaderrole, it was mostly, you know,
she's young or she's not been inthat long, she's not got that
much experience.
And then I think into thesenior management roles.
The biases are alwaysinteresting.
You sit in an office and Iremember one occasion somebody
(06:58):
came in and asked me to make theteas and coffees for a meeting
that was happening and Iactually outranked that person.
You know I was a more seniorperson and he's walked in and
said could you there's eight ofus for a meeting, can you please
make seven teas and a coffee?
And I said we all make our ownteas and coffees here.
The cups are there.
(07:18):
You help yourself right you know, and I think on the whole it
was a challenge.
But I think because it wasdifficult, not always knowing
what that bias was, to be ableto call it out and challenge it
specifically, so quite often itwould be around challenging the
behavior and whether or not thatbehavior was appropriate and
really just having to hold myground, my skin is thicker than
(07:40):
an elephant, I'm sure of it,because you just got used to
brushing it off, I think, alsoknowing what battles to pick.
Sometimes you just let thingsgo for the bigger picture and
sometimes you had to dig yourheels in and have those
conversations, and none of themare ever easy, no matter how
many of those.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
right, yeah, yeah, there was some challenging times
in there, for sure one of thethings that I like to talk about
is like courage, right, and youwere describing your process of
how you got to where you got,but take us a layer deeper,
right, when certain limitingbeliefs, certain fears as a
woman in this new environment,we all embark on these type of
(08:21):
thought processes.
What was it for you you, thoughthat propelled you forward?
How did you specificallyovercome your internal fears,
the inner critic, to continue tomove forward?
What was that, and what did itlook like?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I think, something that people will probably tell
you about me.
It's like and I think, whilstthat can be a challenge,
sometimes, I think in situationslike that it becomes a strength
because I felt reallydetermined to make it work.
I was very, I think, headstrongto a point of I am one of those
(09:00):
people.
If you tell me I can't do it,you can then watch me do it,
because you can guarantee I'mgonna make sure that happens.
So I think there were probablya number of times where I was
hearing people saying she's notexperienced enough, she's not
ready, she's not qualified orshe's not worked in this
department before, and I'd belike, okay, I'm gonna learn and
(09:21):
you can watch me and I'm gonnamake it happen.
I think that's what kept megoing, that kind of digging, and
I am going to make this work.
I am going to prove to you thatwomen can do this job.
I am going to prove to you thatI am old enough and I am
experienced enough and I'm goingto make it work.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
But how did you get that experience?
I'm going to prove them wrong.
Spirit when did that come from?
I'm just trying to get to thecore of where did you develop
that spirit of hell?
No, I'm not stopping, I'm goingfor this.
I'm going to kick some ass andmake sure and prove you wrong.
How did you develop that spirit?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I don't know.
There's a part of me that kindof wants to answer and just say
I think it's always been there,but I don't.
I remember growing growing up.
I remember my dad would saythings like don't let people
tell you what you can or can'tdo.
I remember, in fact, the wordsthat springing to my mind is my
dad always is.
My dad's saying was the biggerthey come, the harder they fall,
(10:17):
and it was almost that, I think.
So there's two, two girls, meand my sister, and I think it
was never a.
You can't do that becauseyou're a girl.
It was always like that's whatyou want to do.
You put the work in and you goand get it done.
I'm very much encouraged aroundeffort rather than achievement.
So I notice now that certainlysometimes if things feel
(10:40):
effortless for me, then I feellike I haven't put the work in,
so I don't deserve theachievement.
So there's definitely somebeliefs there from early years
around if you put the work in,hard work pays off.
If you work harder thaneverybody else, then you will
achieve more.
So I think there's probablysome programming there, from a
(11:01):
dad certainly.
So I think that's that wasprobably programmed in from an
early age, you know, at 18,leaving school, walking into
work in a police station, and Iremember members of the public
would say to me like why is itlike you're a kid?
I think I felt quite early on,right from day one, I have to
prove myself.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I think it was probably part of the journey
throughout, not just in theleadership roles, but I think I
was very young when I startedand very much felt like I had to
prove my reason for being there.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I remember.
I'm going to share a quickstory.
I remember when I was about Iwant to say I was about 11,
maybe a little younger, maybenine or 10.
When we grew up, I grew up inthe city, san Francisco,
california, and every summer theneighborhood had a rec center
and they would take us just todifferent places around
California and things like thatfor the kids that's out of
(11:55):
school during the summer.
So one summer we went to thispool resort place and we went
swimming as a group and I wasn'ta good swimmer at all and I
challenged myself.
It was at the deep end of thepool and all my friends were
swimming across and I wanted tochallenge myself and do it too.
So halfway through the pool, Iget tired, I panic, I literally
(12:19):
drowned.
Literally drowned, unconscious,woke up on the side pumping out
water out of my lungs, went tothe hospital the whole night
unconscious, everything right.
So I had this fear of you can'tgo by the water.
You can't go by the water.
And I think I share this storybecause there became a point in
(12:42):
my life where I didn't want tosit on the sidelines no more.
When the summertime comes,everyone's swimming.
I'm on the sideline because I'mafraid of the water, because
what happened to me?
So guess what I did?
I jumped right back in thereand I just started swimming and
(13:03):
it just went away.
And I bring that up because feartry to protect us.
It really does in the futuresense.
So you had this bad experienceand almost died.
You cannot get in that wateragain because if you do, that
will happen again.
That's how the fear was justtalking to me, and so is it
(13:27):
worth for me missing out with myfriends hanging by the pool on
the sideline or just get in.
Just get in and learn from thatexperience of what happened to
you before, of what happened toyou before.
And actually I did, because Ididn't just jump back into the
deep end but I graduallyregained my confidence, but I
(13:52):
didn't totally avoid the pool.
So I just wanted to highlightthat because I think, when we
talk about professional fears,taking that next step, how do
you help your clients approachcertain fears that they're
dealing with in the workplace?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
the anticipation, anxiety is very real, and the
more you stand on the sidelines,the bigger it gets.
The bigger the fear gets, thebigger the overwhelm gets and
the harder it is then to takethat first step.
One of the things I learnedfrom a very early age again
probably through encouragementfrom parents was step in, jump
(14:33):
in with two feet and work it outonce you're in there, and I
think that served me really wellin life.
There's lots of things thatI've done that I think, had I
have taken a little bit longerto think about it, probably
wouldn't have done it.
So I think for me, when theopportunities arise, my
programming is say yes and worryabout it later.
Worry about how you're going todo it later and I think that's
(14:55):
certainly something that comesup with clients when they're
worrying about things is helpingthem to identify what the fear
is, call out what the fear is,because I think it's okay to
encourage people to be okay withtalking about what it is that
worries them and then look athow we can rationalize that, how
we can explore that fromdifferent perspectives and how
we can reduce the overwhelm andreduce the perceived fear and
(15:20):
look at what the actual fear is,what the actual risk is, but
also look at what the actualfear is, what the actual risk is
, but also look at what thepotential benefits are, because
outside the comfort zone is thefear zone, but the other side of
the fear zone is the growth andlearning zone.
If we can focus on what thebenefits are when we take that
step, when we move forward, andif we can move forward with
(15:40):
intention and with purpose,knowing that there will be a
period of discomfort but on theother side of that is that
period of growth, it's mucheasier Eyes on the prize kind of
mentality of, ok, this isn'tgoing to be easy, this isn't
going to be comfortable, andthere's probably a lot of fear
mixed in there, but there'sprobably also some excitement in
(16:00):
there too.
So I often ask the questionwhat excites you about it?
What excites you about what'son the other side of that fear
and what could the possibilitiesbe once you cross through that
fear zone?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
and I think that often then helps with that
reframe yeah, and I also workwith clients of putting their
values in the front of it,because when fear is present,
it's a a distraction, in myopinion, and then it distracts
us away from what's important tous, which are values in that
moment.
So you take, for example,public speaking.
(16:33):
Right, that's one space wherepeople have a lot of fear in
public speaking.
With public speaking, they havean important message that they
may need to provide and give,and there's a lot of integrity
that goes behind the messagethat they want to convey to the
(16:54):
public.
But the fear is present andbecause they're worried about oh
my goodness, I got to speak,what are people going to think,
the inner critic, all of thatreally becomes highly present
and that's where we'redistracted away from the value
(17:15):
of, just say, integrity, as Idescribed.
The importance of this messageis so critical.
The importance of this messageis so critical, but in certain
moments we're afraid because thefear is much larger than the
value of integrity in thatmoment.
Yeah, but then somehow, someway, we get the courage, we start
(17:38):
sharing that message and aswe're sharing that message, the
value of integrity rises, thefear diminishes and, as you
speak, no fear is present, and Iwanted to paint that visual for
people, because I just thinkit's very important, like how we
(17:58):
suppress our values in momentsof fear.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What are your thoughts about that?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I think there's a knowledge gap for a lot of
people in why that fear is sooverwhelming.
It's so powerful in that moment.
I would love that we taughtthis in schools because I think
if we taught our young peoplethe fight, flight and freeze
response and we taught peoplethat our brains are hardwired to
keep us safe and that includesfrom fear of judgment and fear
(18:26):
of failure and they understandthat in the moment their brain
is doing exactly what it isthere to do.
But actually as humans we areable to override that and work
through it, and that's okay.
I think there is a knowledge gapthere that people feel that
sense.
They don't necessarilyunderstand what that means.
They want to protect themselvesin the moment, they want to
(18:52):
avoid that discomfort in themoment, and so the values then
become secondary to that.
After that, when those feelings, those emotions, that
adrenaline response has allsettled down, they then have
that, they realize what they'remissing out on, and then there's
another little raft of emotionsthat comes through.
So I think being really clearon what your values are and that
(19:14):
purpose and intent of why areyou doing this, why is this
important Sometimes that canhelp rationalize the fear of
failure and the fear of judgment.
Ok, I may fail and I may bejudged, but it's going to be
worth it, because this is somuch more important to me.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Tell us about the typical client you work with and
how do you take them from pointA to point Z.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
The people that I work with.
Some of them are in leadershiproles and some of them run their
own businesses.
We lead ourselves through ourlives.
We lead ourselves and our team,and we also lead ourselves
through business and the peoplethat we work with in business.
So the leadership skills tendto come across throughout, and
so what I help people to do isidentify what tools they've
(20:01):
already got in the toolkit.
You are already successful.
So what tools have you got inthe toolbox that have helped you
to get where you are?
I think that's really important, because so often we go through
life, don't we?
And we elevate and we excel,and we don't always take that
time to think about the toolsthat we've collected along the
way, and some of them laydormant for a while too.
So I think understanding whattools you've got in the toolbox
(20:24):
is really importantUnderstanding what has got you
here.
So what is it?
You've used yourcharacteristics, your attributes
, not just your technical skills, but your behavior skills as
well.
What do you really excel at?
What has helped you to get tothis level?
One of the key things speakingabout values that comes up a lot
with clients is getting reallyclear on their values and then
(20:47):
their vision of where they wantto go next, because a lot of the
people that I speak to, as Isaid, they're already really
successful.
So they, because they'reambitious people, because
they're driven, because they'redetermined, they've got their
eyes on what's next, but also,at the same time, they've worked
really hard to get to wherethey've got to.
(21:08):
So there's that element of Isee this over here and I really
want it, but I've also workedreally hard to get life to a
really good place.
And do I want to risk undoingall of that to chase what's next
?
So I think a lot of the workthat I do is talking about their
values, talking about thepurpose, talking about intention
(21:30):
.
So just because you can doesn'tmean that you have to.
So, yes, you could go for that.
Is that what you really want?
Yes, you could go and do that,but is that what you really want
?
And sometimes it's weighing allof those things up.
So once we've worked all of thatbit out, we then go through a
framework of what's the plan?
How do you make it happen?
(21:51):
Where are you now?
Where do you want to get to?
How do you get across and makethat work?
What is your intention?
What do you need from aperformance perspective?
How are you motivated, how areyou disciplined, how are you
consistent?
What beliefs do you need tohave?
What mindset do you need tohave to make all of that work?
And then, what structure do youneed in place to make all of
(22:12):
that work?
And then we build all of thatin together to help them to get
to that next level, whateverthat looks like for them.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Okay, that's cool.
I like that.
I'm listening to you describehow people need to discover what
it is that they really want.
Is there specific tools thatyou use to help a person
transition to thatself-discovery process, or is it
just a list of questions thatyou go through?
What does that aspect look like?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
A couple of things that I use.
So the PIPS framework planintention, identity, performance
and structure those are thefive key areas that I work
through with them and that canbe a very different questions
for different clients, but theframework is still the same the
plan to get there.
The intention, the identity foranyone that's read James Clear,
(23:02):
we know the identity is reallyimportant and actually for a lot
of people, that next level theyrecognize who do I need to be
to get to that next level?
Is that who I want to be atthat next level?
And sometimes that can be thedeciding factor.
Performance they're alreadysuccessful people, so what goes
into that for them to performwell at that next step?
The other tool that I use iswhat I call the KSA bridge.
(23:27):
So quite often there's a gap.
The majority of the timethere's a gap between where
people are now and where theywant to be, and in that gap is
mostly a knowledge gap, a skillsgap or an action gap.
So either you don't know whatyou need to know or you don't
have the skills, technical orbehavior to bridge that gap, or
you haven't taken action.
(23:47):
Sometimes they've taken actionbut it's not been consistent
enough.
So the questions that I willask is helping them to identify
you're here, you want to get tohere.
What's the bridge?
Is it a knowledge, is it skillsor is it action?
And that can then help them towork out what's the next step.
What do I need to do to bridgethat gap?
(24:11):
That's come about through yearsof working with different
clients?
But I'm NLP master practitioner, cbt trained, positive
psychology.
So all of the tools in thetoolbox, dependent on what the
client needs.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's great.
Pick one and share with us.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Do you mean my personal successes or client
successes?
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Client successes that you've worked with through the
strategy of what you was justsharing.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Because the successes are important to them.
Right there's the big pictureof what does success look like
for the majority and what doessuccess look like for them?
I think, probably because Iidentify with them a little bit.
Their stories resonate with me.
But it's working parents whoare able to be successful in
their career and also be presentfor their family, and I think
(24:57):
we hear a lot that you can'thave both, like you have to pick
.
Are you present at home, or doyou have a successful career, or
do you have a successfulbusiness?
So I think for me, it's beenthose people where they've been
able to create that plan toachieve what they want to
achieve.
They've had a structure inplace which means the things
that are most important to themin life are protected and
(25:19):
respected and preserved whilstthey pursue what's important to
them.
I think those are the successstories, because I think you can
be a present parent or apresent partner and be
successful and have your owndreams and aspirations.
I think you can do both.
That's great, those ones thatstand out.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
So why coaching?
What made you transition intothis field of work?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I did some mentoring because of the leadership roles
that I was in, because I was afemale senior leader and because
I was one of the first onesthat was managing police
officers, I was asked to mentorother people coming up through
the organisation and I lovedmentoring and then later on I
was given the opportunity to betrained as a self-development
(26:05):
trainer for women in the force,and then coaching became a part
of that as well.
So my role was made redundantback in 2017, wasn't expected,
but it gave me the opportunityto think okay, what are all the
best bits about all of thethings that I've done over the
years?
And leadership for me wasalways about the seeing
potential with people in yourteam and being able to give them
(26:27):
those opportunities and developthem.
It was never about the decisionmaking or the power or the
responsibility.
It was always about the people.
So took all of the best bitsand created the business.
So coaching for me, what I likeabout it is that it empowers.
You're not leading peoplethrough it.
I like the fact that withcoaching, it's about them
(26:50):
choosing what's best.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
The discovery process .
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Helping.
Yeah, I'm the same.
I I identify exactly with whatyou're saying, because helping
someone self-discover and thatlight bulb just start bright,
just start shining going thing,I just feel so warm inside.
I've been able to help someoneself-discover what they already
(27:17):
knew and a lot of times it's ablind spot for them and they're
just walking through lifecarrying this blind spot and
then, as we ask these empoweringquestions and we take them
through the sequence ofquestioning, the light bulb just
comes on.
It's just an amazing feelingfor me, specifically as a coach.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah, it's a really hard and I love that you said
that, because it's such a hardthing to try and describe to
somebody who's not sat in thechair and held space or ask
those questions.
And I think the other side ofit is we were busy, everybody's
busy, especially people who wantmore of their busy people, and
people don't often have thattime, or they don't make that
(27:59):
time, to sit and give themselvesthat space.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So I always say to people when we have the
consultation call or talkingabout coaching, that I'm your
thinking partner.
I don't have all of the answers.
We believe, as coaches, thatyou have all of the answers,
which I think is what you weresaying too.
You have all of the answers,which I think is what you were
saying too.
You have all of the answers.
My role as your thinkingpartner is to ask you different
questions, for you to thinkabout things differently, for
(28:24):
you to walk around things.
See, things from a differentperspective, and then you might
see some options that you havenot seen before.
That is my role is shining thelight on things that you haven't
yet seen, but they're alreadythere, and so whenever people
say, what would you do, it's notabout me, it's not about what I
would do.
It's about what you want to do,what you choose to do.
(28:46):
I think when you see that shiftstart to happen yeah that's a
powerful moment.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And then also, leaders want that
confidentiality space where theycan be vulnerable and validated
, because in that space, andparticularly when you're at the
executive role, you're notgetting feedback from your
superior, they're not giving youannual appraisals.
You're already expected to takeus to that next space.
(29:14):
So where do you have thoseconversations at?
Who are you indulged with?
To get validated, to get yourmotivation moving forward,
feeling inspired?
We don't, execs don't, and sothey just carried it all in
their head with us as coaches.
(29:36):
We give them the space to bevalidated, recognized,
acknowledged, to be vulnerable,to have confidentiality all of
those things.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
And people feel reborn when they have that space
it's a safe space to bouncethings around as well, because
in my opinion, I think the bestleaders are those that have that
flexibility and they're able toadapt.
But if we don't give peoplethat space to think about how
they can flex and adaptdifferent approaches, they're
always going to do the samething and if they always do the
(30:10):
same thing, we've always got thesame outcome, and I think
that's dangerous as a leader togo through as a leader,
responding to things in the sameway with different people.
People need something different.
As a leader, you need torespond differently to different
people in different situations.
You need that space to be ableto bounce around.
Okay, what do I do?
What do I do with this person?
(30:31):
What do I do with thissituation?
How do I pre-brief and debriefwhat I'm dealing with and how
I'm dealing with it, to be ableto learn from that and be able
to evolve from that?
It's so important.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, it's funny because when you were saying
that I was thinking, one of myclients they said hey, mo, I
wanted to ask you how do youthink I should move forward with
this situation?
And then I always say I don'tknow how do you think I should
move forward with this situation.
And then I always say I don'tknow how do you think you should
move forward in this situation.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So it's like they kind of want that, that that
validated response, to be.
Can you ask me this question,or the permission to not know?
Sometimes it's that permissionto say I don't know and then say
, okay, if you did know, whatmight that?
Permission to say I don't knowand then say, okay, if you did
know, what might that look like?
And then all of a sudden it's Idon't know but and then they
give you the answer exactly butyou did know.
You just needed that permissionto be okay with maybe not being
(31:32):
confident in what you know orbeing able to bounce it around a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
How can my listeners find you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
So everything is under my name, so you can find
me on LinkedIn, Instagram andthe website is zoethompsonuk.
So nice and easy to find, easyto reach out to.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I'm always open to meeting new people.
Any final thoughts you wouldlike to leave before we sign off
?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I think just what's come out of the conversation for
me is take the step, takeaction and give yourself space
to bounce it around and work itthrough once you're in it, but
don't do that from the sidelines.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
There it is everyone.
Miss Loie Thompson, thank youvery much.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(32:35):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook, at Coach Mo,
coaching or LinkedIn, at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(32:57):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you, so thank you, andI'll see you in our next
episode.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
Her name is Zoe Thompson.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Zoe what's up?
Hey, how are you doing?
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Good to be here.
I'm awesome.
I'm happy that you're here.
What part of the world are youchecking in from?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I am in Bristol, which is in the southwest of
England, so between London andWales.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Tell me something that you love about the UK and
the area you live in.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Oh, what's to love about the UK?
It's not the weather, never theweather.
We're never happy with theweather.
I love Bristol.
Bristol has a little bit ofeverything.
It's a really vibrant city.
It's really mixed.
We've got a great reputationfor music and culture and arts.
There is always something goingon here.
I'm born here, always livedhere, and whilst I love to
(02:19):
travel, it's always good to comeback to home here too, so it's
a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
That's great and we're happy to have you here
today.
Thank you, tell us who you are,what you do and the value that
you bring.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Great first question.
Okay, let's try and answer thisas succinctly as possible.
Who am I?
What do I do?
I am a coach and a trainer.
I work with people who arelooking to be successful in life
, in leadership, in business,and I help them with strategies,
(02:53):
mindset, confidence across allof those areas.
A lot of the people that I workwith they're already halfway up
the mountain, so they'vealready achieved lots.
They're already successfulpeople and they've got their
eyes on the summit.
But they know that what gotthem to where they are is not
going to get them to where theywant to go next.
So, in the words of MarshallGoldsmith, what got you here
(03:14):
won't get you there.
They know that they perhapsneed to look at mindset.
They know they need some extratools in the toolbox to get to
where they're going.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
So, whether it's life , leadership or business, those
are the level I do, so take usthrough the journey of how you
got to where you are and how yougained this experience of
helping people.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
So my career first started at 18.
So I did my A-levels here andthen there was lots of
conversations about going touniversity, or college as you
call it and I didn't want to goto university.
So my parents were both policeofficers.
My mum's dad was also a policeofficer.
So I knew from a really earlyage that was what I wanted to do
(03:57):
.
So whilst my school were quitekeen for me to look at
university as an option, I knewthat wasn't the road that I
wanted to go down.
So I joined the police as acivilian at 18, straight out of
school.
I thought I knew everything, asyou do at 18.
Worked in the front desk of apolice station so very entry
level role and learned veryquickly that I knew nothing
(04:21):
about the world at 18 and theworld of policing and the world
as it actually is.
My eyes were opened pretty widevery quickly but I absolutely
loved it, really loved it, lovedthe work, loved the people.
And then from there the goalwas always to be a police
officer.
That was always the goal tojoin as a civilian and then
(04:41):
apply to be a police officerwhen recruitment opened.
Recruitment did open and Ididn't get through.
So I made the decision to sitit out, wait for recruitment to
open again.
But then an opportunity came upfor a supervisor role, so I
went for it and got it and neverreally looked back after that.
My career took off as acivilian in leadership.
(05:03):
So I started off as a teamleader and eventually worked my
way right the way up through tonearly the top of the
organization as far as you canpretty much get as a civilian
and finished up in a seniorleadership role.
20 years in total, lots ofdifferent roles, lots of
different operational roles,doing a lot of jobs that police
(05:23):
officers used to do that are nowdone by civilians.
But actually out of those 20years, 15 of those were in
leadership.
So absolutely love.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
that that's amazing.
Take us through the process ofyour mindset as you encounter
certain biases as a woman goingthrough the ranks of becoming an
exceptional leader.
What was some of those biasesthat you had to deal with and
how did you overcome it?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
I think the challenge for me is I don't know that I
can always pinpoint what thebias was.
So I think sometimes it wasfemale, I think sometimes it was
the fact that I was young, andI think sometimes it was the
fact that I was young and Ithink sometimes it was the fact
that I was a civilian and not apolice officer and I was
managing police officers.
There weren't.
I think I was one of the firstcivilian staff that had a
(06:14):
responsibility for policeofficers.
Up until then, police officersmanaged police officers and it
was very separate.
So I think the biases weresometimes quite hard to pinpoint
.
I couldn't work out what isyour issue here?
Is it because I'm young, or isit because I'm not a police
officer?
And some sometimes I think itwas probably all three.
There were certainly somedepartments that I worked in
(06:36):
where it was really difficult topin down, but I think in the
early days, in a team leaderrole, it was mostly, you know,
she's young or she's not been inthat long, she's not got that
much experience.
And then I think into thesenior management roles.
The biases are alwaysinteresting.
You sit in an office and Iremember one occasion somebody
(06:58):
came in and asked me to make theteas and coffees for a meeting
that was happening and Iactually outranked that person.
You know I was a more seniorperson and he's walked in and
said could you there's eight ofus for a meeting, can you please
make seven teas and a coffee?
And I said we all make our ownteas and coffees here.
The cups are there.
(07:18):
You help yourself right you know, and I think on the whole it
was a challenge.
But I think because it wasdifficult, not always knowing
what that bias was, to be ableto call it out and challenge it
specifically, so quite often itwould be around challenging the
behavior and whether or not thatbehavior was appropriate and
really just having to hold myground, my skin is thicker than
(07:40):
an elephant, I'm sure of it,because you just got used to
brushing it off, I think, alsoknowing what battles to pick.
Sometimes you just let thingsgo for the bigger picture and
sometimes you had to dig yourheels in and have those
conversations, and none of themare ever easy, no matter how
many of those.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
right, yeah, yeah, there was some challenging times
in there, for sure one of thethings that I like to talk about
is like courage, right, and youwere describing your process of
how you got to where you got,but take us a layer deeper,
right, when certain limitingbeliefs, certain fears as a
woman in this new environment,we all embark on these type of
(08:21):
thought processes.
What was it for you you, thoughthat propelled you forward?
How did you specificallyovercome your internal fears,
the inner critic, to continue tomove forward?
What was that, and what did itlook like?
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I think, something that people will probably tell
you about me.
It's like and I think, whilstthat can be a challenge,
sometimes, I think in situationslike that it becomes a strength
because I felt reallydetermined to make it work.
I was very, I think, headstrongto a point of I am one of those
(09:00):
people.
If you tell me I can't do it,you can then watch me do it,
because you can guarantee I'mgonna make sure that happens.
So I think there were probablya number of times where I was
hearing people saying she's notexperienced enough, she's not
ready, she's not qualified orshe's not worked in this
department before, and I'd belike, okay, I'm gonna learn and
(09:21):
you can watch me and I'm gonnamake it happen.
I think that's what kept megoing, that kind of digging, and
I am going to make this work.
I am going to prove to you thatwomen can do this job.
I am going to prove to you thatI am old enough and I am
experienced enough and I'm goingto make it work.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
But how did you get that experience?
I'm going to prove them wrong.
Spirit when did that come from?
I'm just trying to get to thecore of where did you develop
that spirit of hell?
No, I'm not stopping, I'm goingfor this.
I'm going to kick some ass andmake sure and prove you wrong.
How did you develop that spirit?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I don't know.
There's a part of me that kindof wants to answer and just say
I think it's always been there,but I don't.
I remember growing growing up.
I remember my dad would saythings like don't let people
tell you what you can or can'tdo.
I remember, in fact, the wordsthat springing to my mind is my
dad always is.
My dad's saying was the biggerthey come, the harder they fall,
(10:17):
and it was almost that, I think.
So there's two, two girls, meand my sister, and I think it
was never a.
You can't do that becauseyou're a girl.
It was always like that's whatyou want to do.
You put the work in and you goand get it done.
I'm very much encouraged aroundeffort rather than achievement.
So I notice now that certainlysometimes if things feel
(10:40):
effortless for me, then I feellike I haven't put the work in,
so I don't deserve theachievement.
So there's definitely somebeliefs there from early years
around if you put the work in,hard work pays off.
If you work harder thaneverybody else, then you will
achieve more.
So I think there's probablysome programming there, from a
(11:01):
dad certainly.
So I think that's that wasprobably programmed in from an
early age, you know, at 18,leaving school, walking into
work in a police station, and Iremember members of the public
would say to me like why is itlike you're a kid?
I think I felt quite early on,right from day one, I have to
prove myself.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I think it was probably part of the journey
throughout, not just in theleadership roles, but I think I
was very young when I startedand very much felt like I had to
prove my reason for being there.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
I remember.
I'm going to share a quickstory.
I remember when I was about Iwant to say I was about 11,
maybe a little younger, maybenine or 10.
When we grew up, I grew up inthe city, san Francisco,
california, and every summer theneighborhood had a rec center
and they would take us just todifferent places around
California and things like thatfor the kids that's out of
(11:55):
school during the summer.
So one summer we went to thispool resort place and we went
swimming as a group and I wasn'ta good swimmer at all and I
challenged myself.
It was at the deep end of thepool and all my friends were
swimming across and I wanted tochallenge myself and do it too.
So halfway through the pool, Iget tired, I panic, I literally
(12:19):
drowned.
Literally drowned, unconscious,woke up on the side pumping out
water out of my lungs, went tothe hospital the whole night
unconscious, everything right.
So I had this fear of you can'tgo by the water.
You can't go by the water.
And I think I share this storybecause there became a point in
(12:42):
my life where I didn't want tosit on the sidelines no more.
When the summertime comes,everyone's swimming.
I'm on the sideline because I'mafraid of the water, because
what happened to me?
So guess what I did?
I jumped right back in thereand I just started swimming and
(13:03):
it just went away.
And I bring that up because feartry to protect us.
It really does in the futuresense.
So you had this bad experienceand almost died.
You cannot get in that wateragain because if you do, that
will happen again.
That's how the fear was justtalking to me, and so is it
(13:27):
worth for me missing out with myfriends hanging by the pool on
the sideline or just get in.
Just get in and learn from thatexperience of what happened to
you before, of what happened toyou before.
And actually I did, because Ididn't just jump back into the
deep end but I graduallyregained my confidence, but I
(13:52):
didn't totally avoid the pool.
So I just wanted to highlightthat because I think, when we
talk about professional fears,taking that next step, how do
you help your clients approachcertain fears that they're
dealing with in the workplace?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
the anticipation, anxiety is very real, and the
more you stand on the sidelines,the bigger it gets.
The bigger the fear gets, thebigger the overwhelm gets and
the harder it is then to takethat first step.
One of the things I learnedfrom a very early age again
probably through encouragementfrom parents was step in, jump
(14:33):
in with two feet and work it outonce you're in there, and I
think that served me really wellin life.
There's lots of things thatI've done that I think, had I
have taken a little bit longerto think about it, probably
wouldn't have done it.
So I think for me, when theopportunities arise, my
programming is say yes and worryabout it later.
Worry about how you're going todo it later and I think that's
(14:55):
certainly something that comesup with clients when they're
worrying about things is helpingthem to identify what the fear
is, call out what the fear is,because I think it's okay to
encourage people to be okay withtalking about what it is that
worries them and then look athow we can rationalize that, how
we can explore that fromdifferent perspectives and how
we can reduce the overwhelm andreduce the perceived fear and
(15:20):
look at what the actual fear is,what the actual risk is, but
also look at what the actualfear is, what the actual risk is
, but also look at what thepotential benefits are, because
outside the comfort zone is thefear zone, but the other side of
the fear zone is the growth andlearning zone.
If we can focus on what thebenefits are when we take that
step, when we move forward, andif we can move forward with
(15:40):
intention and with purpose,knowing that there will be a
period of discomfort but on theother side of that is that
period of growth, it's mucheasier Eyes on the prize kind of
mentality of, ok, this isn'tgoing to be easy, this isn't
going to be comfortable, andthere's probably a lot of fear
mixed in there, but there'sprobably also some excitement in
(16:00):
there too.
So I often ask the questionwhat excites you about it?
What excites you about what'son the other side of that fear
and what could the possibilitiesbe once you cross through that
fear zone?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
and I think that often then helps with that
reframe yeah, and I also workwith clients of putting their
values in the front of it,because when fear is present,
it's a a distraction, in myopinion, and then it distracts
us away from what's important tous, which are values in that
moment.
So you take, for example,public speaking.
(16:33):
Right, that's one space wherepeople have a lot of fear in
public speaking.
With public speaking, they havean important message that they
may need to provide and give,and there's a lot of integrity
that goes behind the messagethat they want to convey to the
(16:54):
public.
But the fear is present andbecause they're worried about oh
my goodness, I got to speak,what are people going to think,
the inner critic, all of thatreally becomes highly present
and that's where we'redistracted away from the value
(17:15):
of, just say, integrity, as Idescribed.
The importance of this messageis so critical.
The importance of this messageis so critical, but in certain
moments we're afraid because thefear is much larger than the
value of integrity in thatmoment.
Yeah, but then somehow, someway, we get the courage, we start
(17:38):
sharing that message and aswe're sharing that message, the
value of integrity rises, thefear diminishes and, as you
speak, no fear is present, and Iwanted to paint that visual for
people, because I just thinkit's very important, like how we
(17:58):
suppress our values in momentsof fear.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
What are your thoughts about that?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I think there's a knowledge gap for a lot of
people in why that fear is sooverwhelming.
It's so powerful in that moment.
I would love that we taughtthis in schools because I think
if we taught our young peoplethe fight, flight and freeze
response and we taught peoplethat our brains are hardwired to
keep us safe and that includesfrom fear of judgment and fear
(18:26):
of failure and they understandthat in the moment their brain
is doing exactly what it isthere to do.
But actually as humans we areable to override that and work
through it, and that's okay.
I think there is a knowledge gapthere that people feel that
sense.
They don't necessarilyunderstand what that means.
They want to protect themselvesin the moment, they want to
(18:52):
avoid that discomfort in themoment, and so the values then
become secondary to that.
After that, when those feelings, those emotions, that
adrenaline response has allsettled down, they then have
that, they realize what they'remissing out on, and then there's
another little raft of emotionsthat comes through.
So I think being really clearon what your values are and that
(19:14):
purpose and intent of why areyou doing this, why is this
important Sometimes that canhelp rationalize the fear of
failure and the fear of judgment.
Ok, I may fail and I may bejudged, but it's going to be
worth it, because this is somuch more important to me.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
Tell us about the typical client you work with and
how do you take them from pointA to point Z.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
The people that I work with.
Some of them are in leadershiproles and some of them run their
own businesses.
We lead ourselves through ourlives.
We lead ourselves and our team,and we also lead ourselves
through business and the peoplethat we work with in business.
So the leadership skills tendto come across throughout, and
so what I help people to do isidentify what tools they've
(20:01):
already got in the toolkit.
You are already successful.
So what tools have you got inthe toolbox that have helped you
to get where you are?
I think that's really important, because so often we go through
life, don't we?
And we elevate and we excel,and we don't always take that
time to think about the toolsthat we've collected along the
way, and some of them laydormant for a while too.
So I think understanding whattools you've got in the toolbox
(20:24):
is really importantUnderstanding what has got you
here.
So what is it?
You've used yourcharacteristics, your attributes
, not just your technical skills, but your behavior skills as
well.
What do you really excel at?
What has helped you to get tothis level?
One of the key things speakingabout values that comes up a lot
with clients is getting reallyclear on their values and then
(20:47):
their vision of where they wantto go next, because a lot of the
people that I speak to, as Isaid, they're already really
successful.
So they, because they'reambitious people, because
they're driven, because they'redetermined, they've got their
eyes on what's next, but also,at the same time, they've worked
really hard to get to wherethey've got to.
(21:08):
So there's that element of Isee this over here and I really
want it, but I've also workedreally hard to get life to a
really good place.
And do I want to risk undoingall of that to chase what's next
?
So I think a lot of the workthat I do is talking about their
values, talking about thepurpose, talking about intention
(21:30):
.
So just because you can doesn'tmean that you have to.
So, yes, you could go for that.
Is that what you really want?
Yes, you could go and do that,but is that what you really want
?
And sometimes it's weighing allof those things up.
So once we've worked all of thatbit out, we then go through a
framework of what's the plan?
How do you make it happen?
(21:51):
Where are you now?
Where do you want to get to?
How do you get across and makethat work?
What is your intention?
What do you need from aperformance perspective?
How are you motivated, how areyou disciplined, how are you
consistent?
What beliefs do you need tohave?
What mindset do you need tohave to make all of that work?
And then, what structure do youneed in place to make all of
(22:12):
that work?
And then we build all of thatin together to help them to get
to that next level, whateverthat looks like for them.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Okay, that's cool.
I like that.
I'm listening to you describehow people need to discover what
it is that they really want.
Is there specific tools thatyou use to help a person
transition to thatself-discovery process, or is it
just a list of questions thatyou go through?
What does that aspect look like?
Speaker 2 (22:40):
A couple of things that I use.
So the PIPS framework planintention, identity, performance
and structure those are thefive key areas that I work
through with them and that canbe a very different questions
for different clients, but theframework is still the same the
plan to get there.
The intention, the identity foranyone that's read James Clear,
(23:02):
we know the identity is reallyimportant and actually for a lot
of people, that next level theyrecognize who do I need to be
to get to that next level?
Is that who I want to be atthat next level?
And sometimes that can be thedeciding factor.
Performance they're alreadysuccessful people, so what goes
into that for them to performwell at that next step?
The other tool that I use iswhat I call the KSA bridge.
(23:27):
So quite often there's a gap.
The majority of the timethere's a gap between where
people are now and where theywant to be, and in that gap is
mostly a knowledge gap, a skillsgap or an action gap.
So either you don't know whatyou need to know or you don't
have the skills, technical orbehavior to bridge that gap, or
you haven't taken action.
(23:47):
Sometimes they've taken actionbut it's not been consistent
enough.
So the questions that I willask is helping them to identify
you're here, you want to get tohere.
What's the bridge?
Is it a knowledge, is it skillsor is it action?
And that can then help them towork out what's the next step.
What do I need to do to bridgethat gap?
(24:11):
That's come about through yearsof working with different
clients?
But I'm NLP master practitioner, cbt trained, positive
psychology.
So all of the tools in thetoolbox, dependent on what the
client needs.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's great.
Pick one and share with us.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Do you mean my personal successes or client
successes?
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Client successes that you've worked with through the
strategy of what you was justsharing.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Because the successes are important to them.
Right there's the big pictureof what does success look like
for the majority and what doessuccess look like for them?
I think, probably because Iidentify with them a little bit.
Their stories resonate with me.
But it's working parents whoare able to be successful in
their career and also be presentfor their family, and I think
(24:57):
we hear a lot that you can'thave both, like you have to pick
.
Are you present at home, or doyou have a successful career, or
do you have a successfulbusiness?
So I think for me, it's beenthose people where they've been
able to create that plan toachieve what they want to
achieve.
They've had a structure inplace which means the things
that are most important to themin life are protected and
(25:19):
respected and preserved whilstthey pursue what's important to
them.
I think those are the successstories, because I think you can
be a present parent or apresent partner and be
successful and have your owndreams and aspirations.
I think you can do both.
That's great, those ones thatstand out.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
So why coaching?
What made you transition intothis field of work?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I did some mentoring because of the leadership roles
that I was in, because I was afemale senior leader and because
I was one of the first onesthat was managing police
officers, I was asked to mentorother people coming up through
the organisation and I lovedmentoring and then later on I
was given the opportunity to betrained as a self-development
(26:05):
trainer for women in the force,and then coaching became a part
of that as well.
So my role was made redundantback in 2017, wasn't expected,
but it gave me the opportunityto think okay, what are all the
best bits about all of thethings that I've done over the
years?
And leadership for me wasalways about the seeing
potential with people in yourteam and being able to give them
(26:27):
those opportunities and developthem.
It was never about the decisionmaking or the power or the
responsibility.
It was always about the people.
So took all of the best bitsand created the business.
So coaching for me, what I likeabout it is that it empowers.
You're not leading peoplethrough it.
I like the fact that withcoaching, it's about them
(26:50):
choosing what's best.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
The discovery process .
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Helping.
Yeah, I'm the same.
I I identify exactly with whatyou're saying, because helping
someone self-discover and thatlight bulb just start bright,
just start shining going thing,I just feel so warm inside.
I've been able to help someoneself-discover what they already
(27:17):
knew and a lot of times it's ablind spot for them and they're
just walking through lifecarrying this blind spot and
then, as we ask these empoweringquestions and we take them
through the sequence ofquestioning, the light bulb just
comes on.
It's just an amazing feelingfor me, specifically as a coach.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah, it's a really hard and I love that you said
that, because it's such a hardthing to try and describe to
somebody who's not sat in thechair and held space or ask
those questions.
And I think the other side ofit is we were busy, everybody's
busy, especially people who wantmore of their busy people, and
people don't often have thattime, or they don't make that
(27:59):
time, to sit and give themselvesthat space.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
So I always say to people when we have the
consultation call or talkingabout coaching, that I'm your
thinking partner.
I don't have all of the answers.
We believe, as coaches, thatyou have all of the answers,
which I think is what you weresaying too.
You have all of the answers,which I think is what you were
saying too.
You have all of the answers.
My role as your thinkingpartner is to ask you different
questions, for you to thinkabout things differently, for
(28:24):
you to walk around things.
See, things from a differentperspective, and then you might
see some options that you havenot seen before.
That is my role is shining thelight on things that you haven't
yet seen, but they're alreadythere, and so whenever people
say, what would you do, it's notabout me, it's not about what I
would do.
It's about what you want to do,what you choose to do.
(28:46):
I think when you see that shiftstart to happen yeah that's a
powerful moment.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And then also, leaders want that
confidentiality space where theycan be vulnerable and validated
, because in that space, andparticularly when you're at the
executive role, you're notgetting feedback from your
superior, they're not giving youannual appraisals.
You're already expected to takeus to that next space.
(29:14):
So where do you have thoseconversations at?
Who are you indulged with?
To get validated, to get yourmotivation moving forward,
feeling inspired?
We don't, execs don't, and sothey just carried it all in
their head with us as coaches.
(29:36):
We give them the space to bevalidated, recognized,
acknowledged, to be vulnerable,to have confidentiality all of
those things.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
And people feel reborn when they have that space
it's a safe space to bouncethings around as well, because
in my opinion, I think the bestleaders are those that have that
flexibility and they're able toadapt.
But if we don't give peoplethat space to think about how
they can flex and adaptdifferent approaches, they're
always going to do the samething and if they always do the
(30:10):
same thing, we've always got thesame outcome, and I think
that's dangerous as a leader togo through as a leader,
responding to things in the sameway with different people.
People need something different.
As a leader, you need torespond differently to different
people in different situations.
You need that space to be ableto bounce around.
Okay, what do I do?
What do I do with this person?
(30:31):
What do I do with thissituation?
How do I pre-brief and debriefwhat I'm dealing with and how
I'm dealing with it, to be ableto learn from that and be able
to evolve from that?
It's so important.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Yeah, it's funny because when you were saying
that I was thinking, one of myclients they said hey, mo, I
wanted to ask you how do youthink I should move forward with
this situation?
And then I always say I don'tknow how do you think I should
move forward with this situation.
And then I always say I don'tknow how do you think you should
move forward in this situation.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So it's like they kind of want that, that that
validated response, to be.
Can you ask me this question,or the permission to not know?
Sometimes it's that permissionto say I don't know and then say
, okay, if you did know, whatmight that?
Permission to say I don't knowand then say, okay, if you did
know, what might that look like?
And then all of a sudden it's Idon't know but and then they
give you the answer exactly butyou did know.
You just needed that permissionto be okay with maybe not being
(31:32):
confident in what you know orbeing able to bounce it around a
little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
How can my listeners find you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
So everything is under my name, so you can find
me on LinkedIn, Instagram andthe website is zoethompsonuk.
So nice and easy to find, easyto reach out to.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I'm always open to meeting new people.
Any final thoughts you wouldlike to leave before we sign off
?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I think just what's come out of the conversation for
me is take the step, takeaction and give yourself space
to bounce it around and work itthrough once you're in it, but
don't do that from the sidelines.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
There it is everyone.
Miss Loie Thompson, thank youvery much.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(32:35):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook, at Coach Mo,
coaching or LinkedIn, at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(32:57):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you, so thank you, andI'll see you in our next
episode.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!