January 13, 2025 • 31 mins
What happens when a seasoned attorney decides to hang up her legal robes and embark on a journey of transformation? Meet Arlene Cohen Miller, a remarkable work-life balance and harmony coach, who shares her personal story of leaving a demanding legal career behind to embrace a more fulfilling role in coaching and mentoring. Arlene's experience as a family and commercial law attorney, coupled with the challenges of being a working mother, propelled her to pursue a path of healing and communication. Through her compelling narrative, Arlene illustrates how she found her true calling in helping women achieve balance and harmony in their lives.
Uncover the profound impact of gratitude and self-awareness as we explore strategies to nurture these essential practices. Listen to the inspiring journey of a client who embarked on a year-long gratitude challenge, demonstrating how small, self-generated changes can lead to significant personal growth. We delve into the cycle of over-giving and the necessity of replenishing one's own resources to prevent burnout and foster resilience. By creating a judgment-free space, Arlene empowers her clients to develop their own gratitude practices and shift perspectives for a more fulfilling life.
The episode wraps up with a thoughtful exploration of self-care, transformation, and the differences between mentoring and coaching. Arlene emphasizes the healing power of acknowledging neglected parts of ourselves and the "feeling is healing" approach to emotional well-being. We also highlight the importance of kindness, patience, and tolerance as tools for personal growth, especially during the demanding holiday season. By offering a flexible practice tailored to individual needs, Arlene provides a safe space for clients to discover their inner strength and achieve transformative change.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
This is Arlene Cohen Miller.
Arlene, what's up?
Hello?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I'm nothing, I'm just really glad to be here with you
right now, mo.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Absolutely, absolutely.
The first thing I ask my guestsis where are you checking in
from?
What part of the country or theworld are you calling in from?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I live in Colorado, in a little town called not that
little, it's called Longmont,colorado.
It's about I don't know 20minutes down the road from
Boulder and about 45 minutesnorthwest of downtown Denver.
It's beautiful.
We have the view of themountains everywhere we go.
I really like it here.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Born and raised.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
No, I was born and raised in Louisville, kentucky,
and I've lived in Atlanta,georgia and suburbs of Cleveland
, ohio, so I've been around themap in the US.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Nice.
So is it a lot of snow downthere yet no in the mountains,
there's skiing.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We've had like almost fall weather.
We have not had.
We've had one little snowearlier in the year, but it's
been really, really mild.
We're just, we're just likewhen is it going to be winter?
But it will come.
It will come.
It always comes to Colorado.
Right now.
I am a work-life balance andharmony coach for women and a
transformational mentor for menand women.
I also do full readings foreverybody to help facilitate
(02:40):
your opportunities andchallenges and move through them
and experience growth.
My foundation is as an attorney.
When I was 15, I decided Iwanted to be an attorney and I
did.
I practiced for many years in asuburb of Cleveland, ohio and
also in Colorado.
So I've been a family lawattorney with divorces and
(03:00):
disillusions and child custodyand being appointed by the court
to represent children whenthere's abuse.
And I've also been a commerciallaw attorney.
I've helped businesses tocollect monies that are due and
owing them for services andproducts that they've sold.
Yeah, and when I moved, when Istarted my first business, I was
29 and I immediately found outI was pregnant and all of our
(03:21):
family was in Kentucky.
All of my tribe was in Kentucky.
I didn't know that many peopleup here.
So I didn't have a supportsystem.
I didn't have a tribe around meto help me raise my son or to
be a working mother.
So that's part of the reasonI'm so passionate about helping
women with work-life balance andharmony, because there were
counselors and psychologists andstuff like that there.
(03:43):
But what I really needed wassome sort of coach.
At the time I was prettytogether but I just was like
what do I do?
Yeah, so that's a little bitabout me and why I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Take me through.
Where did the pivot happen at?
It's amazing that you as anattorney I can imagine a lot of
the cases and the work that youwas doing, the value that you
was bringing to multiplecommunities but what was it that
the light bulb just switched onfor you to make you pivot
towards being a life balancecoach or transformational mentor
(04:16):
?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was like it was a process over many years when I
got divorced when my son wasalmost three and he developed
really pretty significant ADHDand I went on a healing journey
to help him because I wasn't sothrilled about just sticking him
on drugs and the story I justreally feel in my heart of
hearts is that as I was helpingto heal him to the best of my
(04:37):
ability, it was really startingto be a healing journey for
myself.
So I guess, as a young womanand a person who went into the
law, I felt like I was very mucha head case and through this
process I started beginning todevelop the other side of me,
the more feminine, heart-basedside, to be more of a balanced
person and about I don't know,six or seven years before we
(04:59):
sold the second law practice inColorado, I got a diploma in
coaching and mentoring andtransformational holistic
counseling and became acertified meditation facilitator
.
At first I just wanted topractice law.
I thought I needed bettercommunication skills.
I need a better listening skill.
They didn't teach you that inlaw school.
They taught you how to winstuff and I really need to be
(05:20):
able to communicate better.
And that was great.
I loved it.
I just got really.
I just I got burnt out being anattorney because it's an
amazing profession.
You can help a lot of people,but there's no light switch to
turn it off.
Your cases are always there,people that need help are always
there, especially if you're anentrepreneur and you have your
(05:40):
own business.
And I just I was just ready fora change and I really loved
coaching, I really lovedmentoring and I just decided
that was what I needed to gointo.
So it wasn't like a big lightbulb moment.
It was more of a nice kind ofprogression over time that I
went through.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
When you work with clients right For your
experience of being an attorney,like you just mentioned, the
grind you just always want to gothe chaos of the work that's
consistently coming in, Don'thave time for your family,
extracurricular things becauseyou're in the grind, whether
(06:18):
you're an entrepreneur, attorney, like you said, whatever the
CEO, whatever that profession is.
But what are some things thatyou do to help clients begin to
even think about the work-lifebalance?
And what does that strategylook like?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
First of all, I wasn't like one of those kind of
people.
I wasn't those kind of peoplethat people judged, because I
always took care of myself, evenwhen my son was young.
I was a runner when I was youngand I would run with other
women that were young parents,or I would work out in the gym
or I would find I would swim.
I would find ways to physicallyget that energy out.
And I wasn't so good at eatinghealthy food when I was younger,
(06:58):
but I'm much better now becauseI had some health issues and
it's like you got to be betterabout this, arlene.
You got to stay away from allthat sugar which I was a little
bit addicted to.
So, yeah, I've lived it and Iplayed with it and I've
practiced it, and I guess what Ido with my clients is I partner
with them, because I don'tthink it's like a cookie cutter
thing for all people.
Some people have one area oftheir life better together than
(07:20):
others.
Other than others Maybe theyare more get together with the
work or with their, with howthey intake food or how they
take care of their bodies, butat home they really don't know
how to balance things out.
I really have to take peoplewhere they're at, really have
conversations with them, allowthem, as a coach, to lead the
way.
I believe they have the answersinside of them and from there
we can pick up some things thatthey can do.
(07:42):
There's always some basic thingsthat we can do to bring
ourselves back down to earthLike.
One thing that I facilitate, asespecially the mentor, is like
really being fully grounded andpresent in our body, because if
we're all anxious, if we're alloverwhelmed, we're all upset,
we're going to be all over theplace.
It's going to be hard to doanything.
(08:02):
So even a simple likevisualization of feeling like
you're a tree with like roots oflight from your heart down your
body, down your legs andanchoring to the heart of the
planet, and really feelingconnected in your, in our body
and to the earth, can helppeople just go oh, I'm here,
it's not so hard anymore.
And even some simple breathingtechniques like breathing in
(08:24):
through the nose and out throughthe nose, with the out breath
being longer than the innerbreath, physiologically tells us
, hey, we can calm down.
And so there's very simpletechniques that we can engage in
to work from the inside out.
But how I approach everybody'son an individual, unique basis,
because everyone's different.
Some people have more togetherat work and less together at
(08:45):
home, and vice versa, or maybethey're just a little bit
scattered everywhere and I wantthem to come to me and say and
I'm work with me and liketogether with those powerful
questions and using my intuitionto share with them where to
from here.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, we have so much in alignment of what you were
saying.
But I was working with a clientand I want to run this by you
and just get your thoughts onthis.
I was working with this client,right, and he said I got chaos
around me.
It's just everywhere I look.
It's chaos.
It's coming from the top, frommy peers, from the employees.
Tasks aren't being done well,I'm feeling stressed, my hair is
(09:22):
falling out.
I got to go to the doctor Allof this stuff, right and I asked
him this question.
I said how much positivity doyou have coming in to balance or
compensate all of the chaosthat's coming in?
He said go for a walk.
I said OK, stop there, tell meabout when you go for a walk.
(09:43):
What are you thinking about?
And he paused and he said I'mthinking about work.
And I said exercise is great,but what are you doing to offset
the chaos with the positivitymentally?
And then he said huh, that's agood point, I don't think I'm
(10:03):
really doing much.
And so then he said huh, that'sa good point, I don't think I'm
really doing much.
And so then I said there'ssomething that you can do.
That's very easy to do, buteven easier not to do.
And he was like well, what'sthat?
I said, have gratitude thoughtsand be intentional about your
gratitude thoughts toincorporate the positivity, to
(10:26):
help offset all of the chaos,because it starts from within
you first.
And so my question to you howdo you approach the whole theory
around gratitude and the workand coaching?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, we'll probably be on the same page here too,
because I think gratitude islike the key for manifestation,
the key for success on alllevels, and I think the mistake
that people make with gratitudeis they make it a listening or a
thinking thing.
And unless we truly feelgrateful for even a few things
in our life and it just reallysinks in to our heart of hearts
(11:04):
and we breathe it in and it's apart of who we are, then we're
going to experience positivechange.
It could be as simple as youwalk out and you're really
stressed from work and we'rejust going to have a slow walk,
looking around and appreciatingnature, and we're going to
breathe deeply and we're goingto just let things go and we're
just going to be really gratefulfor that moment.
(11:25):
Or we're going to wake up andwe're going to go wow, this is a
really comfortable bed, and nowI get to have my cup of coffee
and I get to take a hot showerand is, wow, that's really cool,
I'm really grateful for thatand this, whatever it was I had
for breakfast, and when wereally have that foundational
gratitude and we're not justmaking lists but we're really
(11:45):
aware of what we can be gratefulfor in the moment.
It is really transformational.
It is like a foundational stonein our lives and I just I guess
what I do is my focus is tohelp people to feel more
grateful, but let's just reallyfeel it.
Don't tell me about the listthat you made and how long it is
, but what you actually feel andwhat can we do to help you feel
(12:06):
that more.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And I think in the society that we live in, it
becomes very easy to bedistracted away from how we feel
and the gratitude.
We're in this reactive modeconsistently and we can't get
out of it because the mind frameis I got to put out the fire, I
got to do this, I got to dothis, I got to do that and, like
(12:29):
you alluded to, even when youwas an attorney, the self-care,
self-care, self-care is whathelps generate the gratitude and
it makes total sense.
So how do you help a personreally start to gain that
awareness around the concept ofgratitude and creating this
(12:51):
transformation for themselves?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I think we really need to have them maybe have a
brainstorming session orwhatever how they could maybe
have more gratitude in theirlife.
I had a really cool client.
She was also an attorney and acoach, like me, and after a
bunch of sessions like our, timewas up and she decided that she
didn't have enough gratitudefor a whole year.
What she did was and this wasall her idea, and I think it's
(13:21):
important to hold space like ahuge, judgment-free,
unconditionally loving space forour clients so that they can
come up with ideas withinthemselves that will help them
to experience more gratitude.
And what she did was that everyday for a year on a social
media site, she posted either apicture or a photo of something
that epitomized what she wasgrateful for and she wrote like
a little sentence underneath it.
And I had the privilege offollowing her and it was so
(13:45):
inspiring and so heart opening.
And she just kept on sayingArlene, I'm changing, I'm
feeling so very different, andthis was something that she came
up with herself.
And so what I like to do with myclients and, of course, I can
make recommendations but Ireally feel if they come up with
a way that they can practicegratitude, because practice
makes permanent.
(14:06):
We have to practice something inorder for it to be a part of
our lives.
So if they find a way topractice that gratitude every
way, in a way that they can beconsistent with it's going to,
it's going to effectuate somesort of positive change.
It will be incremental overtime or maybe there'll be some
big moments where there's likesome aha realizations and they
can ground it more.
(14:26):
But we can hold it like areally positive, judgment-free,
not loving space for them sothat they can come up with their
own ideas.
And this which she came up withand the only reason I'm sharing
it with her, it was sotransformational for me as a
coach to follow along with herI'd never experienced a client
that every day was so committedthat they did something like
that and just to experience thetransformation with them.
(14:49):
And yeah, I like to do that tohelp clients whatever works for
them with them.
And yeah, I like to do that tohelp clients whatever works for
them.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's powerful because I remember, even for
myself, starting with thegratitude thought early on,
going through some hiccups andbeing introduced to coaching.
People have heard the storybefore, but being introduced to
coaching, one of the things thatit taught me was about
gratitude and the moment that Iput all of my energy into
(15:17):
cultivating gratitude thoughtsand journaling affirmations, I
think that was very powerful too, because as you write down
affirmations, the consciousnesstakes that in and particularly
when you sleep on it, theconsciousness is just constantly
(15:39):
materializing thoseaffirmations and I was just like
diligent about it and it reallyshifted my being to where I
don't stay in that rut as longas I used to because of the
presence of gratitude within meand my being.
(16:02):
And I think for what your clientdid is extremely powerful.
And with clients I introducedto them, with my clients just
start small Gratitude thoughts,little activities, because, like
you said, it's a habit.
Get them in the habit and partof the habit is self-awareness
(16:25):
so that even I tell them whenyou forget to have a gratitude
thought, you go to the kitchenand you forget and you remember
that you forgot Guess what youtypically do.
You try to replace it and havea gratitude thought in that
moment, and that's the start,and you're creating more
resilience of building that foryourself and shifting that habit
(16:49):
.
My next thought that I wantedto ask you is how do you help a
client with burnout?
What's that look like?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Gosh, I think burnout is what a lot of people do,
because they give and they giveand they give, but they're not
filling up their cup with love.
And so it's this cycle they gointo where they're giving and
they're giving and they'regiving and they're giving.
Then they get frustrated andangry and upset about giving and
not getting anything back thatthey should be giving, getting
back from other people should ajudgment, and then they beat
(17:21):
themselves up for having thosethoughts and being that way.
And then they go into thispeople pleasing over giving
pattern again.
And so the first thing that wecan really do is to bring
awareness to the pattern andprogram that whatever they have
in place is causing them to giveeverything away instead of
replenishing their own cup upwith love.
And so we really it comes backto that self-care and that
(17:43):
self-love and so really learninghow to fill ourselves up with
love.
And I mean, I guess one waythat we can do that, one way
that I learned to do that seemsreally helpful, is that if I'm
upset or I'm angry or I'm havinga reaction, one of the things I
always do is go OK, how old isthis Arlene inside of me?
(18:04):
Is she four?
Is she two, is she eight, isshe 16?
, is she 25?
And really feel into it,because there's a part of me
that got stuck somewhere.
Something happened.
I didn't have the ability tohandle the situation or I judged
on what I did in those moments,maybe as a teenager or young
adult, and that bit of me gotstuck and I've been ignoring
this part.
I haven't been loving this part.
(18:25):
I've been letting it languish.
They feel like rejected,abandoned, betrayed, and all I
really need to do to begin withis to turn around and begin to
love these bits of myself and tofill myself up with love.
Of course, there's other waystoo.
As women, maybe, we like to goget a massage or get a mani-pedi
or whatever, but I think whenwe don't give ourselves credit
(18:45):
enough that the love that wehave inside of ourselves is the
perfect love for those bits ofourselves that are languishing,
and then, when we start to lovethose bits and fill ourselves up
with love, we're going to bemore of a whole person, so that
we're not going to be givingourselves away in a way that's
not appropriate.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
When a person who's came up through the ranks in an
environment that's not aboutself-care and it's about putting
you down and you're carrying alot of this shame, doubt, that
type of energy with you, how doyou really work with them to
shift that?
Because it can just be hard andyou can feel trapped and what
(19:28):
does that look like and what'sthat process like?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
So this sounds.
This is a little bit more.
If someone is that stuck andthey've really been in that kind
of traumatic abusive cycle,probably mentoring is going to
be better for them and theymight even need to go to someone
else for counseling.
But one thing that I love towork with as a mentor is a
process called feeling ishealing, Because lots of times
(19:52):
if our feelings don't feel good,we want to push them away.
But if we actually feel ourfeelings and just allow them to
move through us, but we're atthe same time we're really
aligned to what we're movingtowards, whatever positivity,
whatever goals we're movingtowards, but we're not judging
our feelings, they're simplyfeelings, they're not.
It's a process of acknowledgingI have feelings, but I'm not my
(20:15):
feelings.
I have emotions, but I'm not myemotions.
I have thoughts, I'm not mythoughts.
I'm a soul having thisexperience on this planet.
I can feel this.
I can allow them to movethrough me with gratitude and
then I can replace them withmore positivity of what I'm
actually moving towards.
But that's more of a mentoringprocess than a coaching process
(20:36):
what's the difference between amentoring process versus a
coaching process?
As a mentor, what I'm doing isI'm allowing people to stand on
my shoulders for all the wisdomthat I've accumulated through
all the experiences I've had andall my study and everything
like that, and sharing it withthem and letting them practice
it and see how it goes for them.
As a coach, I know that theyhave all the answers within them
(20:59):
, so I'm not telling them whatto do.
I'm allowing them to find theanswers within.
I might reflect back what I'mseeing within them as far as
their body language, I mightshare an intuition, but I'm
always handing it back to themto be the decision maker.
So my business is dualconsultancy.
For me, the visual is justdifferent sides of the diamond.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
It's different ways of approaching the same thing,
of whatever is going to work forthat person.
So when I hear in your practiceyou're wearing, you can wear a
couple of different hats.
You can come from the mentoringperspective and you can come
from the coaching perspective,and the mentoring perspective is
more so sharing more of yourexperience, providing you're
helping to provide a path forthem to take.
(21:46):
That can be easier, giving alittle bit of advice.
On the other side of coachingis more of self-discovery and
the person already has theanswers for and it's up to you
to help them self-discover whatthose answers are.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
So when a client comes to you, do you dictate
which side of the no, because ifthey want to buy a package, a
coaching package, it can alwaysbe a coaching and mentoring
package.
They can always go back andforth.
As far as I'm concerned,whatever works for them and lots
of times people don't know,they just have to try different
things I can give.
If they talk to me and I have adiscovery interview and they're
(22:25):
sharing, I might make arecommendation, but I always
feel like the final decision hasto be up to them and then I can
.
We can work with either way,because there's no right or
wrong way and I always believein people coming.
If they come from their heartsof what they want to try, then
that's, let's go with that.
How can I possibly know what'sin their heart, of hearts?
I can always give arecommendation, but I'm never
going to tell anybody what theyhave to do.
(22:46):
Who is your client, tim?
Who do you work best for?
I work with a lot of women.
I work with a lot ofprofessional women.
I'm a member of the ColoradoWomen's Bar Association and so I
work with a lot of professionalwomen that are mothers or just
have a lot on their plate, butas far as a coach.
But the mentoring is both menand women, and I don't know if
there's any particular type.
It just I always feel like ifyou put out the energy that for
(23:09):
the right and perfect clients,that you're going to get people
coming to you, they have anaffinity with you and you have
an affinity with them to workwith and there's going to be
that, it's just going going toclick and most of the time it
works.
Sometimes it doesn't.
You have to say this just isn't.
I don't think it's right foreither one of us.
I can make a recommendation forsomebody else and that's the
most loving and kind thing to dofor somebody okay, so I'd
(23:32):
imagine that you work with a lotof clients, um, through
work-life balance.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
What have you found to be the common theme of
challenges that people have whenit comes to work-life balance?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
it's just feeling a lot of stress.
They're just feeling a lot ofstress because a lot of them
come to me and they want to beeverything to everybody.
They want to be the best motherthey can be.
They really want to do a greatjob at work.
They want to be.
If they have a partner.
They want to be the bestpartner they can be.
They really want to do a greatjob at work.
They want to be.
If they have a partner, theywant to be the best partner they
can be.
And you can't be everything toeverybody and it just in the
world that it is today, there'sso much.
(24:08):
It feels like so muchdivisiveness.
It really doesn't supportpeople and it just feels like a
different world than when mymother raised me, that her
parents were really very poorand she felt like she had made
it and she wanted to stay homeand raise us.
She did a lot of volunteer work, she handled a lot of finances
of the family, but she wasn'ttrying to do too much at once
(24:28):
and it just feels like in orderfor families to make it now,
lots of times there has to betwo breadwinners and I don't
have an easy, quick answer forthat, but I can help people to
not put so many unrealisticexpectations on themselves.
Where they're judgingthemselves so harshly that
instead of having that gratitudethat you're talking about, that
(24:48):
it brings them down and theydon't really acknowledge all
that they do bring to the table.
So I guess that's a commonthing that I see in a lot of
people and I hope things canchange in the world that there's
not so much pressure oneverybody.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Thinking back to your story of coming from being an
attorney to a coach now and amentor, what's the biggest
fulfillment that you've receivedor that you get from making
that transition to being a coachand a mentor now?
What would you say that is foryourself?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Coaching and mentoring feels more personal.
I really, as an attorney, Ialways I gave my best shot to
just really be kind and patientwith the people that I was
working with, because a lot ofpeople in divorce situations or
business people that were comingto us we helped businesses
collect their debts.
They were in dire situation.
(25:43):
A lot of people treat peoplethat don't have a lot of money
their finances are going downthe tubes really poorly.
So I felt like my job to make adifference in the world as an
attorney was to treat peopleeveryone with dignity and
respect.
Unless they disrespected me,then I would draw a boundary and
I'd do something legal that Ineeded to do as a coach and a
mentor.
It feels much more personalwhere I can really personally
(26:06):
step in and make a difference inpeople's lives, either
individually or in groups, and Ifind that really rewarding.
They're both rewarding indifferent ways.
I do love the freedom thatcomes with coaching and
mentoring.
You can do that anywhere, whichis really lovely, and it's
probably something that youexperience as well as a coach.
(26:26):
It's really.
It's a heartfelt thing to beable to hold space for someone,
to share some things withsomeone and to really see the
light bulb go off in them to beable to ground and actualize new
things in their life thatreally make a difference.
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, I'm just listening to you and I think
about just the countless timesof working with clients and they
just feel, seen through ourconversations.
People carry so much baggage,they're burned out, they're
stressed and they feel like theyhave to carry all of these
different roles and have to beso many different roles.
(27:02):
The coaching experience,letting them just offload it,
just being seen in the presentmoment to be their authentic
selves I think it lights my fire.
It's such an amazing feeling towatch people grow from that
space and then they learn how tobe present for themselves.
(27:26):
When they're out there in thechaos, they have techniques to
be present and regroundthemselves, and that comes from
us providing insights andhelping them self-discover that
for themselves.
So I love it.
We're just in a powerfulposition to help people get out
(27:47):
of their own way, and that's howI like to describe it.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yeah, there's really something so powerful because
most of the time when you justhave a conversation with
somebody else, they're thinkingabout what they're going to say
as you're talking and as we holdthis big loving judgment, free
space where we're not doing that, and that in itself is hugely
transformational for people,because they don't necessarily
get it anywhere else and thatgives them that that space to
(28:11):
really breathe, have a differentexperience.
We're modeling a new way ofbehavior for them and in that
space they can come to and be anew kind of person, like you're
saying, be more grounded, fullypresent and more able to handle
what life presents and let go ofsome of the stuff that just is
not working.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Exactly.
I thank you for coming on todayand sharing how you help
clients in your way and yourapproach.
How can people find you?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Thank you for asking.
My website is Jewel Consultancy, j-e-w-e-l, like the diamond
consultancycom, and my full nameis Arlene A-R-L-E-N-E Cohen,
c-o-h-e-n Miller.
You Google that.
You will find me everywhere inall the different places that
are on the web, and if you arein the United States or Canada,
(28:59):
you can always text me at720-936-2634,.
Mention Mo and I will gift youwith a free mini soul reading.
There's a little 10 minutething, but happy to do that for
anyone who's interested.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing that aswe close out.
What's some lasting thoughts,nugget, that you can leave the
audience.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
There's something I love to share.
I know I share it a lot, but Idon't think I can share it
enough.
It's like a trinity, like atriangle kindness, patience and
tolerance.
So maybe just give that to youin the holiday season and in the
coming new year to be kind, tobe patient and tolerant with
yourself.
First and foremost.
Kindness is going to lead youto more gratitude.
(29:44):
Patience is about love, ofcourse.
Impatience is about urgency andpushes things away.
So let's choose to practicethat patience and just to be
tolerant with ourselves andother people.
We're not perfect.
We're all works in progress.
We're going to make mistakesthat can be viewed as
opportunities to learn and growand that's going to help you to
feel different about yourselfand different about the people
(30:05):
that you interact with.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
There it is, arlene, you are powerful, thank you.
Thank you so much for thewisdom and the insights today.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Thank you for having me here.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Have a good day.
Thank you for having me here.
I really appreciate it.
Have a good day.
Thank you for joining me inthis episode of let's think
about it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(30:41):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach, mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
(31:04):
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember the most effective wayto do it is to do it Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest.
This is Arlene Cohen Miller.
Arlene, what's up?
Hello?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I'm nothing, I'm just really glad to be here with you
right now, mo.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Absolutely, absolutely.
The first thing I ask my guestsis where are you checking in
from?
What part of the country or theworld are you calling in from?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
I live in Colorado, in a little town called not that
little, it's called Longmont,colorado.
It's about I don't know 20minutes down the road from
Boulder and about 45 minutesnorthwest of downtown Denver.
It's beautiful.
We have the view of themountains everywhere we go.
I really like it here.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Born and raised.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
No, I was born and raised in Louisville, kentucky,
and I've lived in Atlanta,georgia and suburbs of Cleveland
, ohio, so I've been around themap in the US.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Nice.
So is it a lot of snow downthere yet no in the mountains,
there's skiing.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
We've had like almost fall weather.
We have not had.
We've had one little snowearlier in the year, but it's
been really, really mild.
We're just, we're just likewhen is it going to be winter?
But it will come.
It will come.
It always comes to Colorado.
Right now.
I am a work-life balance andharmony coach for women and a
transformational mentor for menand women.
I also do full readings foreverybody to help facilitate
(02:40):
your opportunities andchallenges and move through them
and experience growth.
My foundation is as an attorney.
When I was 15, I decided Iwanted to be an attorney and I
did.
I practiced for many years in asuburb of Cleveland, ohio and
also in Colorado.
So I've been a family lawattorney with divorces and
(03:00):
disillusions and child custodyand being appointed by the court
to represent children whenthere's abuse.
And I've also been a commerciallaw attorney.
I've helped businesses tocollect monies that are due and
owing them for services andproducts that they've sold.
Yeah, and when I moved, when Istarted my first business, I was
29 and I immediately found outI was pregnant and all of our
(03:21):
family was in Kentucky.
All of my tribe was in Kentucky.
I didn't know that many peopleup here.
So I didn't have a supportsystem.
I didn't have a tribe around meto help me raise my son or to
be a working mother.
So that's part of the reasonI'm so passionate about helping
women with work-life balance andharmony, because there were
counselors and psychologists andstuff like that there.
(03:43):
But what I really needed wassome sort of coach.
At the time I was prettytogether but I just was like
what do I do?
Yeah, so that's a little bitabout me and why I'm here.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Take me through.
Where did the pivot happen at?
It's amazing that you as anattorney I can imagine a lot of
the cases and the work that youwas doing, the value that you
was bringing to multiplecommunities but what was it that
the light bulb just switched onfor you to make you pivot
towards being a life balancecoach or transformational mentor
(04:16):
?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was like it was a process over many years when I
got divorced when my son wasalmost three and he developed
really pretty significant ADHDand I went on a healing journey
to help him because I wasn't sothrilled about just sticking him
on drugs and the story I justreally feel in my heart of
hearts is that as I was helpingto heal him to the best of my
(04:37):
ability, it was really startingto be a healing journey for
myself.
So I guess, as a young womanand a person who went into the
law, I felt like I was very mucha head case and through this
process I started beginning todevelop the other side of me,
the more feminine, heart-basedside, to be more of a balanced
person and about I don't know,six or seven years before we
(04:59):
sold the second law practice inColorado, I got a diploma in
coaching and mentoring andtransformational holistic
counseling and became acertified meditation facilitator
.
At first I just wanted topractice law.
I thought I needed bettercommunication skills.
I need a better listening skill.
They didn't teach you that inlaw school.
They taught you how to winstuff and I really need to be
(05:20):
able to communicate better.
And that was great.
I loved it.
I just got really.
I just I got burnt out being anattorney because it's an
amazing profession.
You can help a lot of people,but there's no light switch to
turn it off.
Your cases are always there,people that need help are always
there, especially if you're anentrepreneur and you have your
(05:40):
own business.
And I just I was just ready fora change and I really loved
coaching, I really lovedmentoring and I just decided
that was what I needed to gointo.
So it wasn't like a big lightbulb moment.
It was more of a nice kind ofprogression over time that I
went through.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
When you work with clients right For your
experience of being an attorney,like you just mentioned, the
grind you just always want to gothe chaos of the work that's
consistently coming in, Don'thave time for your family,
extracurricular things becauseyou're in the grind, whether
(06:18):
you're an entrepreneur, attorney, like you said, whatever the
CEO, whatever that profession is.
But what are some things thatyou do to help clients begin to
even think about the work-lifebalance?
And what does that strategylook like?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
First of all, I wasn't like one of those kind of
people.
I wasn't those kind of peoplethat people judged, because I
always took care of myself, evenwhen my son was young.
I was a runner when I was youngand I would run with other
women that were young parents,or I would work out in the gym
or I would find I would swim.
I would find ways to physicallyget that energy out.
And I wasn't so good at eatinghealthy food when I was younger,
(06:58):
but I'm much better now becauseI had some health issues and
it's like you got to be betterabout this, arlene.
You got to stay away from allthat sugar which I was a little
bit addicted to.
So, yeah, I've lived it and Iplayed with it and I've
practiced it, and I guess what Ido with my clients is I partner
with them, because I don'tthink it's like a cookie cutter
thing for all people.
Some people have one area oftheir life better together than
(07:20):
others.
Other than others Maybe theyare more get together with the
work or with their, with howthey intake food or how they
take care of their bodies, butat home they really don't know
how to balance things out.
I really have to take peoplewhere they're at, really have
conversations with them, allowthem, as a coach, to lead the
way.
I believe they have the answersinside of them and from there
we can pick up some things thatthey can do.
(07:42):
There's always some basic thingsthat we can do to bring
ourselves back down to earthLike.
One thing that I facilitate, asespecially the mentor, is like
really being fully grounded andpresent in our body, because if
we're all anxious, if we're alloverwhelmed, we're all upset,
we're going to be all over theplace.
It's going to be hard to doanything.
(08:02):
So even a simple likevisualization of feeling like
you're a tree with like roots oflight from your heart down your
body, down your legs andanchoring to the heart of the
planet, and really feelingconnected in your, in our body
and to the earth, can helppeople just go oh, I'm here,
it's not so hard anymore.
And even some simple breathingtechniques like breathing in
(08:24):
through the nose and out throughthe nose, with the out breath
being longer than the innerbreath, physiologically tells us
, hey, we can calm down.
And so there's very simpletechniques that we can engage in
to work from the inside out.
But how I approach everybody'son an individual, unique basis,
because everyone's different.
Some people have more togetherat work and less together at
(08:45):
home, and vice versa, or maybethey're just a little bit
scattered everywhere and I wantthem to come to me and say and
I'm work with me and liketogether with those powerful
questions and using my intuitionto share with them where to
from here.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, we have so much in alignment of what you were
saying.
But I was working with a clientand I want to run this by you
and just get your thoughts onthis.
I was working with this client,right, and he said I got chaos
around me.
It's just everywhere I look.
It's chaos.
It's coming from the top, frommy peers, from the employees.
Tasks aren't being done well,I'm feeling stressed, my hair is
(09:22):
falling out.
I got to go to the doctor Allof this stuff, right and I asked
him this question.
I said how much positivity doyou have coming in to balance or
compensate all of the chaosthat's coming in?
He said go for a walk.
I said OK, stop there, tell meabout when you go for a walk.
(09:43):
What are you thinking about?
And he paused and he said I'mthinking about work.
And I said exercise is great,but what are you doing to offset
the chaos with the positivitymentally?
And then he said huh, that's agood point, I don't think I'm
(10:03):
really doing much.
And so then he said huh, that'sa good point, I don't think I'm
really doing much.
And so then I said there'ssomething that you can do.
That's very easy to do, buteven easier not to do.
And he was like well, what'sthat?
I said, have gratitude thoughtsand be intentional about your
gratitude thoughts toincorporate the positivity, to
(10:26):
help offset all of the chaos,because it starts from within
you first.
And so my question to you howdo you approach the whole theory
around gratitude and the workand coaching?
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well, we'll probably be on the same page here too,
because I think gratitude islike the key for manifestation,
the key for success on alllevels, and I think the mistake
that people make with gratitudeis they make it a listening or a
thinking thing.
And unless we truly feelgrateful for even a few things
in our life and it just reallysinks in to our heart of hearts
(11:04):
and we breathe it in and it's apart of who we are, then we're
going to experience positivechange.
It could be as simple as youwalk out and you're really
stressed from work and we'rejust going to have a slow walk,
looking around and appreciatingnature, and we're going to
breathe deeply and we're goingto just let things go and we're
just going to be really gratefulfor that moment.
(11:25):
Or we're going to wake up andwe're going to go wow, this is a
really comfortable bed, and nowI get to have my cup of coffee
and I get to take a hot showerand is, wow, that's really cool,
I'm really grateful for thatand this, whatever it was I had
for breakfast, and when wereally have that foundational
gratitude and we're not justmaking lists but we're really
(11:45):
aware of what we can be gratefulfor in the moment.
It is really transformational.
It is like a foundational stonein our lives and I just I guess
what I do is my focus is tohelp people to feel more
grateful, but let's just reallyfeel it.
Don't tell me about the listthat you made and how long it is
, but what you actually feel andwhat can we do to help you feel
(12:06):
that more.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
And I think in the society that we live in, it
becomes very easy to bedistracted away from how we feel
and the gratitude.
We're in this reactive modeconsistently and we can't get
out of it because the mind frameis I got to put out the fire, I
got to do this, I got to dothis, I got to do that and, like
(12:29):
you alluded to, even when youwas an attorney, the self-care,
self-care, self-care is whathelps generate the gratitude and
it makes total sense.
So how do you help a personreally start to gain that
awareness around the concept ofgratitude and creating this
(12:51):
transformation for themselves?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I think we really need to have them maybe have a
brainstorming session orwhatever how they could maybe
have more gratitude in theirlife.
I had a really cool client.
She was also an attorney and acoach, like me, and after a
bunch of sessions like our, timewas up and she decided that she
didn't have enough gratitudefor a whole year.
What she did was and this wasall her idea, and I think it's
(13:21):
important to hold space like ahuge, judgment-free,
unconditionally loving space forour clients so that they can
come up with ideas withinthemselves that will help them
to experience more gratitude.
And what she did was that everyday for a year on a social
media site, she posted either apicture or a photo of something
that epitomized what she wasgrateful for and she wrote like
a little sentence underneath it.
And I had the privilege offollowing her and it was so
(13:45):
inspiring and so heart opening.
And she just kept on sayingArlene, I'm changing, I'm
feeling so very different, andthis was something that she came
up with herself.
And so what I like to do with myclients and, of course, I can
make recommendations but Ireally feel if they come up with
a way that they can practicegratitude, because practice
makes permanent.
(14:06):
We have to practice something inorder for it to be a part of
our lives.
So if they find a way topractice that gratitude every
way, in a way that they can beconsistent with it's going to,
it's going to effectuate somesort of positive change.
It will be incremental overtime or maybe there'll be some
big moments where there's likesome aha realizations and they
can ground it more.
(14:26):
But we can hold it like areally positive, judgment-free,
not loving space for them sothat they can come up with their
own ideas.
And this which she came up withand the only reason I'm sharing
it with her, it was sotransformational for me as a
coach to follow along with herI'd never experienced a client
that every day was so committedthat they did something like
that and just to experience thetransformation with them.
(14:49):
And yeah, I like to do that tohelp clients whatever works for
them with them.
And yeah, I like to do that tohelp clients whatever works for
them.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
That's powerful because I remember, even for
myself, starting with thegratitude thought early on,
going through some hiccups andbeing introduced to coaching.
People have heard the storybefore, but being introduced to
coaching, one of the things thatit taught me was about
gratitude and the moment that Iput all of my energy into
(15:17):
cultivating gratitude thoughtsand journaling affirmations, I
think that was very powerful too, because as you write down
affirmations, the consciousnesstakes that in and particularly
when you sleep on it, theconsciousness is just constantly
(15:39):
materializing thoseaffirmations and I was just like
diligent about it and it reallyshifted my being to where I
don't stay in that rut as longas I used to because of the
presence of gratitude within meand my being.
(16:02):
And I think for what your clientdid is extremely powerful.
And with clients I introducedto them, with my clients just
start small Gratitude thoughts,little activities, because, like
you said, it's a habit.
Get them in the habit and partof the habit is self-awareness
(16:25):
so that even I tell them whenyou forget to have a gratitude
thought, you go to the kitchenand you forget and you remember
that you forgot Guess what youtypically do.
You try to replace it and havea gratitude thought in that
moment, and that's the start,and you're creating more
resilience of building that foryourself and shifting that habit
(16:49):
.
My next thought that I wantedto ask you is how do you help a
client with burnout?
What's that look like?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Gosh, I think burnout is what a lot of people do,
because they give and they giveand they give, but they're not
filling up their cup with love.
And so it's this cycle they gointo where they're giving and
they're giving and they'regiving and they're giving.
Then they get frustrated andangry and upset about giving and
not getting anything back thatthey should be giving, getting
back from other people should ajudgment, and then they beat
(17:21):
themselves up for having thosethoughts and being that way.
And then they go into thispeople pleasing over giving
pattern again.
And so the first thing that wecan really do is to bring
awareness to the pattern andprogram that whatever they have
in place is causing them to giveeverything away instead of
replenishing their own cup upwith love.
And so we really it comes backto that self-care and that
(17:43):
self-love and so really learninghow to fill ourselves up with
love.
And I mean, I guess one waythat we can do that, one way
that I learned to do that seemsreally helpful, is that if I'm
upset or I'm angry or I'm havinga reaction, one of the things I
always do is go OK, how old isthis Arlene inside of me?
(18:04):
Is she four?
Is she two, is she eight, isshe 16?
, is she 25?
And really feel into it,because there's a part of me
that got stuck somewhere.
Something happened.
I didn't have the ability tohandle the situation or I judged
on what I did in those moments,maybe as a teenager or young
adult, and that bit of me gotstuck and I've been ignoring
this part.
I haven't been loving this part.
(18:25):
I've been letting it languish.
They feel like rejected,abandoned, betrayed, and all I
really need to do to begin withis to turn around and begin to
love these bits of myself and tofill myself up with love.
Of course, there's other waystoo.
As women, maybe, we like to goget a massage or get a mani-pedi
or whatever, but I think whenwe don't give ourselves credit
(18:45):
enough that the love that wehave inside of ourselves is the
perfect love for those bits ofourselves that are languishing,
and then, when we start to lovethose bits and fill ourselves up
with love, we're going to bemore of a whole person, so that
we're not going to be givingourselves away in a way that's
not appropriate.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
When a person who's came up through the ranks in an
environment that's not aboutself-care and it's about putting
you down and you're carrying alot of this shame, doubt, that
type of energy with you, how doyou really work with them to
shift that?
Because it can just be hard andyou can feel trapped and what
(19:28):
does that look like and what'sthat process like?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
So this sounds.
This is a little bit more.
If someone is that stuck andthey've really been in that kind
of traumatic abusive cycle,probably mentoring is going to
be better for them and theymight even need to go to someone
else for counseling.
But one thing that I love towork with as a mentor is a
process called feeling ishealing, Because lots of times
(19:52):
if our feelings don't feel good,we want to push them away.
But if we actually feel ourfeelings and just allow them to
move through us, but we're atthe same time we're really
aligned to what we're movingtowards, whatever positivity,
whatever goals we're movingtowards, but we're not judging
our feelings, they're simplyfeelings, they're not.
It's a process of acknowledgingI have feelings, but I'm not my
(20:15):
feelings.
I have emotions, but I'm not myemotions.
I have thoughts, I'm not mythoughts.
I'm a soul having thisexperience on this planet.
I can feel this.
I can allow them to movethrough me with gratitude and
then I can replace them withmore positivity of what I'm
actually moving towards.
But that's more of a mentoringprocess than a coaching process
(20:36):
what's the difference between amentoring process versus a
coaching process?
As a mentor, what I'm doing isI'm allowing people to stand on
my shoulders for all the wisdomthat I've accumulated through
all the experiences I've had andall my study and everything
like that, and sharing it withthem and letting them practice
it and see how it goes for them.
As a coach, I know that theyhave all the answers within them
(20:59):
, so I'm not telling them whatto do.
I'm allowing them to find theanswers within.
I might reflect back what I'mseeing within them as far as
their body language, I mightshare an intuition, but I'm
always handing it back to themto be the decision maker.
So my business is dualconsultancy.
For me, the visual is justdifferent sides of the diamond.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
It's different ways of approaching the same thing,
of whatever is going to work forthat person.
So when I hear in your practiceyou're wearing, you can wear a
couple of different hats.
You can come from the mentoringperspective and you can come
from the coaching perspective,and the mentoring perspective is
more so sharing more of yourexperience, providing you're
helping to provide a path forthem to take.
(21:46):
That can be easier, giving alittle bit of advice.
On the other side of coachingis more of self-discovery and
the person already has theanswers for and it's up to you
to help them self-discover whatthose answers are.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
So when a client comes to you, do you dictate
which side of the no, because ifthey want to buy a package, a
coaching package, it can alwaysbe a coaching and mentoring
package.
They can always go back andforth.
As far as I'm concerned,whatever works for them and lots
of times people don't know,they just have to try different
things I can give.
If they talk to me and I have adiscovery interview and they're
(22:25):
sharing, I might make arecommendation, but I always
feel like the final decision hasto be up to them and then I can
.
We can work with either way,because there's no right or
wrong way and I always believein people coming.
If they come from their heartsof what they want to try, then
that's, let's go with that.
How can I possibly know what'sin their heart, of hearts?
I can always give arecommendation, but I'm never
going to tell anybody what theyhave to do.
(22:46):
Who is your client, tim?
Who do you work best for?
I work with a lot of women.
I work with a lot ofprofessional women.
I'm a member of the ColoradoWomen's Bar Association and so I
work with a lot of professionalwomen that are mothers or just
have a lot on their plate, butas far as a coach.
But the mentoring is both menand women, and I don't know if
there's any particular type.
It just I always feel like ifyou put out the energy that for
(23:09):
the right and perfect clients,that you're going to get people
coming to you, they have anaffinity with you and you have
an affinity with them to workwith and there's going to be
that, it's just going going toclick and most of the time it
works.
Sometimes it doesn't.
You have to say this just isn't.
I don't think it's right foreither one of us.
I can make a recommendation forsomebody else and that's the
most loving and kind thing to dofor somebody okay, so I'd
(23:32):
imagine that you work with a lotof clients, um, through
work-life balance.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
What have you found to be the common theme of
challenges that people have whenit comes to work-life balance?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
it's just feeling a lot of stress.
They're just feeling a lot ofstress because a lot of them
come to me and they want to beeverything to everybody.
They want to be the best motherthey can be.
They really want to do a greatjob at work.
They want to be.
If they have a partner.
They want to be the bestpartner they can be.
They really want to do a greatjob at work.
They want to be.
If they have a partner, theywant to be the best partner they
can be.
And you can't be everything toeverybody and it just in the
world that it is today, there'sso much.
(24:08):
It feels like so muchdivisiveness.
It really doesn't supportpeople and it just feels like a
different world than when mymother raised me, that her
parents were really very poorand she felt like she had made
it and she wanted to stay homeand raise us.
She did a lot of volunteer work, she handled a lot of finances
of the family, but she wasn'ttrying to do too much at once
(24:28):
and it just feels like in orderfor families to make it now,
lots of times there has to betwo breadwinners and I don't
have an easy, quick answer forthat, but I can help people to
not put so many unrealisticexpectations on themselves.
Where they're judgingthemselves so harshly that
instead of having that gratitudethat you're talking about, that
(24:48):
it brings them down and theydon't really acknowledge all
that they do bring to the table.
So I guess that's a commonthing that I see in a lot of
people and I hope things canchange in the world that there's
not so much pressure oneverybody.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Thinking back to your story of coming from being an
attorney to a coach now and amentor, what's the biggest
fulfillment that you've receivedor that you get from making
that transition to being a coachand a mentor now?
What would you say that is foryourself?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Coaching and mentoring feels more personal.
I really, as an attorney, Ialways I gave my best shot to
just really be kind and patientwith the people that I was
working with, because a lot ofpeople in divorce situations or
business people that were comingto us we helped businesses
collect their debts.
They were in dire situation.
(25:43):
A lot of people treat peoplethat don't have a lot of money
their finances are going downthe tubes really poorly.
So I felt like my job to make adifference in the world as an
attorney was to treat peopleeveryone with dignity and
respect.
Unless they disrespected me,then I would draw a boundary and
I'd do something legal that Ineeded to do as a coach and a
mentor.
It feels much more personalwhere I can really personally
(26:06):
step in and make a difference inpeople's lives, either
individually or in groups, and Ifind that really rewarding.
They're both rewarding indifferent ways.
I do love the freedom thatcomes with coaching and
mentoring.
You can do that anywhere, whichis really lovely, and it's
probably something that youexperience as well as a coach.
(26:26):
It's really.
It's a heartfelt thing to beable to hold space for someone,
to share some things withsomeone and to really see the
light bulb go off in them to beable to ground and actualize new
things in their life thatreally make a difference.
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, I'm just listening to you and I think
about just the countless timesof working with clients and they
just feel, seen through ourconversations.
People carry so much baggage,they're burned out, they're
stressed and they feel like theyhave to carry all of these
different roles and have to beso many different roles.
(27:02):
The coaching experience,letting them just offload it,
just being seen in the presentmoment to be their authentic
selves I think it lights my fire.
It's such an amazing feeling towatch people grow from that
space and then they learn how tobe present for themselves.
(27:26):
When they're out there in thechaos, they have techniques to
be present and regroundthemselves, and that comes from
us providing insights andhelping them self-discover that
for themselves.
So I love it.
We're just in a powerfulposition to help people get out
(27:47):
of their own way, and that's howI like to describe it.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yeah, there's really something so powerful because
most of the time when you justhave a conversation with
somebody else, they're thinkingabout what they're going to say
as you're talking and as we holdthis big loving judgment, free
space where we're not doing that, and that in itself is hugely
transformational for people,because they don't necessarily
get it anywhere else and thatgives them that that space to
(28:11):
really breathe, have a differentexperience.
We're modeling a new way ofbehavior for them and in that
space they can come to and be anew kind of person, like you're
saying, be more grounded, fullypresent and more able to handle
what life presents and let go ofsome of the stuff that just is
not working.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Exactly.
I thank you for coming on todayand sharing how you help
clients in your way and yourapproach.
How can people find you?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Thank you for asking.
My website is Jewel Consultancy, j-e-w-e-l, like the diamond
consultancycom, and my full nameis Arlene A-R-L-E-N-E Cohen,
c-o-h-e-n Miller.
You Google that.
You will find me everywhere inall the different places that
are on the web, and if you arein the United States or Canada,
(28:59):
you can always text me at720-936-2634,.
Mention Mo and I will gift youwith a free mini soul reading.
There's a little 10 minutething, but happy to do that for
anyone who's interested.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing that aswe close out.
What's some lasting thoughts,nugget, that you can leave the
audience.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
There's something I love to share.
I know I share it a lot, but Idon't think I can share it
enough.
It's like a trinity, like atriangle kindness, patience and
tolerance.
So maybe just give that to youin the holiday season and in the
coming new year to be kind, tobe patient and tolerant with
yourself.
First and foremost.
Kindness is going to lead youto more gratitude.
(29:44):
Patience is about love, ofcourse.
Impatience is about urgency andpushes things away.
So let's choose to practicethat patience and just to be
tolerant with ourselves andother people.
We're not perfect.
We're all works in progress.
We're going to make mistakesthat can be viewed as
opportunities to learn and growand that's going to help you to
feel different about yourselfand different about the people
(30:05):
that you interact with.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
There it is, arlene, you are powerful, thank you.
Thank you so much for thewisdom and the insights today.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Thank you for having me here.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Have a good day.
Thank you for having me here.
I really appreciate it.
Have a good day.
Thank you for joining me inthis episode of let's think
about it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(30:41):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach, mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
(31:04):
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember the most effective wayto do it is to do it Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
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