February 18, 2025 • 38 mins
Understanding the impact of gratitude on personal growth is crucial for men seeking fulfillment in life. The dialogue explores the importance of self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, and the profound ways gratitude can reshape perceptions and relationships.
• Importance of gratitude in achieving happiness
• Exploring the four pillars for a fulfilling life
• The evolution of masculinity in modern society
• Role of mentorship in self-discovery
• Building authentic relationships based on respect
• The concept of the average man and the need for change
• Practical steps toward cultivating a growth mindset
• Strategies for effective communication in relationships
Remember, the journey of self-improvement is ongoing, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest my man, my brother, ad.
What's good man?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What's going on, man?
I'm living life, I'm excited,I'm young, I'm sexy, I'm
hydrated, I'm having a good time, man.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
But tell me this man when areyou checking in from Dallas?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
the DFW area.
The DFW area, dallas, thatmeans you're a Cowboys fan too.
No, I actually, bro, I'mwinning in my life, so much I
don't I'm not watching anysports.
I'll watch the Superbowl and Iactually like to make fun of
Cowboys fans, like it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
They get so pissed I don't.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I couldn't tell you who's playing for him other than
the quarterback.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Got you, got you, got you.
So tell my audience who you are, what you do.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, for sure.
I go by a couple of differentnames.
One you can find me onInstagram at AD the RPA guy.
So one thing I do is I help menget into tech, make six figures
, work from home, work remotely,work from wherever the hell
they want to work in less thansix months.
So that's one thing that I do.
And then, outside of that, Ialso do men's lifestyle and
relationship coaching.
(02:23):
I have a podcast called King'sCorner, but I really talk about
and I harp on self-love,self-respect, self-acceptance
and gratitude for men.
I really do believe those arethe four pillars of living a
great, outstanding life, and I'mjust I'm pro-masculinity, I'm
pro-man and I just enjoy what Ido.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Let's start with that then let's start with that,
then let's start with thatLiving this great, outstanding
life.
And the one buzzword in yourfour pillars that I want to
explore first is gratitude,because that's a crucial
foundation in all that we do.
You know what I mean.
Whether, whatever path you godown, gratitude should be,
(03:03):
always, should be, present.
So tell me a little bit moreabout how you're incorporating
gratitude into your pillars andhow you're working.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You.
You can't get more of anythingunless until you're grateful for
what you currently do have.
Even if you feel like what youhave is not a lot, you still
need gratitude Right.
Even if you feel like what youhave is not a lot, you still
need gratitude Right.
And the human condition is suchthat we don't feel happy unless
we're growing and progressingtowards something Right.
And the challenge with that isthat and overachievers typically
(03:34):
focus on what they don't haveRight, because I'm focused on
what I want, and if I want it,it means I don't have it.
But we can get stuck in thatthinking and forget to be
grateful for that which we dohave, because we have so many
things today that we thoughtthat we wouldn't or that we
wanted in the past that wedidn't have.
So we are exactly where wewanted to be at some point, even
though we're not where we wantto be right now.
(03:54):
And it's just you can't.
And I love the fact that youcan't feel grateful and fearful
at the same time.
You can't feel grateful andhateful at the same time and so
one influences the other yes,and so for that reason alone,
like gratitude is, it isnecessary.
It is what I wake up and I do.
(04:15):
The first thing I do everymorning is my breathing
exercises.
The very next thing I do ismove my gratitude journal right.
It is the pillar of what it isthat I do, and I and you and you
, just you're not capable, it's.
I don't think it's possible tolive your best version of
yourself or live your best lifewithout gratitude.
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, so take us through the journey in how you
self-discovered that foryourself.
Oh, man.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So last year 2024, I spent over a hundred thousand
dollars on mentorship, right,and it was one of the best years
of my life.
I made more money than I'veever made.
I started my business.
I didn't start my business.
I got serious about my businessat that point and I was in a
point where I'm married I hadlike a girlfriend at the same
time and then she had left and Iwas really sad about that and I
(05:00):
had got a mentor and one of thethings he kept telling me I
paid this guy 300 bucks a month,Great guy.
And he would just tell me like,bro, do what you want to do, Do
what you want to do because youwant to do it, not because
society expects it of you, notbecause your wife expects it of
you or whatever.
And one of the other things hewould always talk about is
gratitude.
Right, Like he had this wholeand he's a big macho, like
masculine guy, Like the kind ofguy you look at and would be
(05:29):
afraid of just because his sizeand how boisterous he is.
And to hear him talk aboutgratitude all the damn time, I
was like, okay, this must bevery important, Right, and he,
unlike me, he was not veryjudgmental of people, so he was
just very focused on gratitude,masculinity and all these other
concepts that I had never reallyhad another man break down to
me and very influential to meand over the course of four or
five months of coaching, this isjust what we talked about,
(05:51):
right, and he talked about likehow I would itemize gratitude.
Like I said I get in the car andthen I turned the AC on and it
was weird.
It was like, okay, I'm gratefulfor the air that is blowing.
And he, one of the things hetold me he was like man, what
you need to realize is everymoment in your life you have
exactly what it is that you need.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Every moment you have which you may not have, what
you want but every moment youhave what you need, and that was
just something that stuck withme.
Whoever that mentor is, he'sdropping powerful wisdom and
nuggets, because that's exactlywhat I live by.
You can't.
One thing that I share with myclients is right.
All there is right now, thismoment, that's it.
Tomorrow isn't here, yetYesterday has already happened.
(06:31):
The only thing that you canpossibly do right now is act
right now and think right now.
That's all you have controlover, and what you think and do
and be gracious for influencesyour tomorrow.
Yes, and that's so powerfulbecause when you look at the
society that we're in, theadministration change and all
(06:53):
the different regulations andthings that's coming out is
generating a lot of fear.
I can't.
What am I going to do?
Blah, blah, blah.
Right, all you can do right nowis think and plan right now,
and that's what you have controlover, is your own control.
You know what I mean.
And so what was it that helped,influenced you to work with men
(07:15):
and move into this coachingspace?
What was that for you?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
That's a good question, man.
Let me start with this I lovewomen, I love femininity.
I like to be around happy women.
It is a full-time job to keepmy energy high.
I don't want to spend any timewith anyone who's.
I got to pull them up becausethat means they're pulling me
down Right.
And I had that same mentor, thesame coach.
His name is Miles Cunningham.
You can find him on Instagramat miles in the game and I was
(07:41):
telling him what my goal was andat the time it was to have
three wives and we all have ourown places and all this other
stuff and he was like hey, bro,like I hear what you want, but I
think you might be a little toofocused on women.
I think you might be makingthem too important to you.
And I've also listened to a lotof Tony Robbins and one of the
things that I'm certain of weall have tell me if you've heard
(08:02):
this before we all have sixhuman needs, right?
Certainty is the first one,right, we need to be certain
that we can be safe, certainthat we can get comfort If me
and you are sitting in the sameroom and we don't know if the
roof is going to cave in or not.
It doesn't matter what I'mcommunicating you, you're not
going to feel safe enough toeven listen, right?
The second one that we need isuncertainty, like we need
(08:22):
variety.
If you knew everything that wasgoing to happen in every moment
of every day, it'd be cool atfirst, but then you get bored.
So we need variety, right?
The third thing is love, orconnection, right, because we're
communal by nature, right?
I'm missing one Certaintyuncertainty, love, connection,
(08:42):
significance is the fourth oneTo feel that I am unique, to
feel that I am special, to feelthat I make a difference.
That's our ego, ok, and then?
So those are the first fourneeds that everybody finds a way
to meet somehow, some way.
Then we have the last two needsthat are spiritual.
You might meet these two, youmight not, ok?
The fifth one is growth tobecome better, to be, to grow,
(09:02):
to expand, to develop.
And then the fourth one is tocontribute, to give to something
bigger than you.
And so which of those six thatyou, again, we all have all six.
What makes the biggestdifference in your life is which
one you prioritize, and I knewthat, in order to become the
best version of myself, I wouldhave to prioritize growth or
(09:23):
contribution.
I decided to prioritize growth,so that's why I'm always about
self-love, self-respect,self-acceptance.
That's growth, but contribution.
I'm thinking like, okay, whoneeds this?
Who needs to hear this message?
Men are struggling, and onething that I used to say often
is I'm not average, my friendsare not average.
I don't know what the averageman does.
I don't know what kind of carhe drives, I don't know what he
(09:44):
thinks about, I don't hangaround average people.
And then I started to realizebut the average man needs my
help.
The average man does not likehimself, he does not love
himself, he does not respecthimself, and if he doesn't like
himself, his woman cannot likehim.
If he does not respect himself,his woman cannot accept him.
And so I went from thisabstract idea of the average man
(10:06):
, me not.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What's the basis of this average man, though?
What does that look like?
Because I think everyoneeveryone has their own
perception of just because I'mnot making X amount of dollars,
but I'm totally fulfilled in mymarriage and the work that I do,
and it may not be a millionairewhen I say average, I'm going
fulfilled in my marriage and thework that I do, and it may not
be a millionaire when I sayaverage, I'm going off of
(10:28):
statistics.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
So do you think that the average man is fulfilled in
his marriage?
Average marriage.
I don't know, but in my opinion,the ones that you see when you
walk down the street or youwatch TV or whatever, average,
not great marriages.
You're talking about men ingreat marriages.
If I'm totally fulfilled, I ingreat marriage, if I'm totally
fulfilled, I think.
Let me put it this way Ibelieve that the average person
is average at most things theydo.
So the average man's income islike $35,000 a year.
(10:51):
That's average.
I'm going based on numbers andstatistics.
I'm not going off of my opinion.
The average marriage ends indivorce and on average, women
leave more often.
They leave 80% of the time.
Right, the average American isoverweight.
So I'm just going off ofliterally the law of large
numbers and averages.
And if you were to just pick aman, you said okay, this is an
average height, man five nine.
(11:11):
Average income 35,000.
Average body weight he'soverweight.
Average marriage he's miserable.
If you just did that, to methat is an average life.
And also, I think average isbad.
I think that is a.
I think that is a bad, pitifullife.
I wouldn't want to live thatlife.
I wouldn't like me.
This is not me judging them, Ijust know that it wouldn't be
(11:32):
okay for me.
And that's what I get, where Iget average from, and that man,
I think, needs help, and I thinkthat we live in a time where
masculinity is shunned right,and so it's expected that you
act feminine and you thinkfemininely, and if you don't,
then you're toxic and yourmasculinity is toxic, and I just
think it's a bunch of bullshit,man.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So how do you help them then?
How do you so?
You found this average personwho needs your help.
What does that help?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I don't believe in imposing myself on others,
because I don't think you canforce feed anybody.
I think it just makes themresent you.
I don't think you can forcefeed anybody, I think it just
makes them resent you.
I don't look at average men andsay oh, you need help.
I just lead by example.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, I say.
When someone reaches out to youand they say I need some help
AD, what is that process and howyou help elevate them?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I really.
So it goes back to the fourpillars.
I really and truly do believeso let's.
My goal for them is always tolive an outstanding life.
Do believe so, let's I.
My goal for them is always tolive an outstanding life.
What is outstanding?
When I say outstanding, I meanyou see somebody doing something
and you say, holy shit, I hadno idea that was possible.
I didn't even know that was athing.
I'm inspired to do that too.
So that's my goal for them.
That's also my goal for myself.
(12:38):
How do we go about getting there?
We need a couple of things.
One, we need clarity.
What kind of man do you want tobe?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to drive?
Where do you want to live?
How do you want to show up inthe world?
So we need clarity.
Obviously, we need a gratitudeas well.
And then I think we need thoseother three pillars self-love,
self-respect, self-acceptance,right?
I'll give you an example.
I have a friend and again, Idon't have any average friends,
(13:00):
right?
Great guy, he works in carsales, makes six figures, he's
got a lady, they've got kids andthey live a good life.
And great guy, like standup guy, very honorable.
I've known him since highschool, one of my longest
standing friends, right, and hewas telling me how sometimes he
and his lady like I have afalling out.
This was years ago I don'tthink this is happening anymore
(13:23):
and he said, said, whenever theywould fall out, I guess she'd
move out, he'd move out orwhatever, or maybe they wouldn't
move out, but he would end upcheating on her and having
another girl or whatever.
And in order to stop himselffrom doing this, he would play
this really sad music, the songfrom the 80s, where this guy's
singing about how bad he feelswhen he cheats on this woman in
order to keep him from cheating.
(13:43):
And then he still cheats.
So I'm like, bro, it's in yournature.
You are polygynous by nature.
That is just who you are.
You wouldn't buy a dog or adopta dog and then be upset that
the dog barks.
Or a dog wouldn't be upset thatit barks.
That is in its nature.
You do not accept your nature.
Therefore, you don't feel goodabout yourself.
You can't.
(14:03):
I just don't believe that youbecome the best version of
yourself fighting your nature.
You must find a way to pointyour nature and use it in a way
that serves you, but it doesn'tmake sense to feel shame about
something that's built into youthat you have no control over,
right.
So I really think those threepillars, or those four pillars
self-love, self-respect,self-acceptance and gratitude
Maybe I'll add something to itlater, but I really do think
(14:24):
that if men had those fourthings right and they really
developed their masculinity andmasculinity is basically, but
how do you?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
go ahead?
How do you help them?
You know, develop that, though,like they're coming to you.
Okay, so you're asking aboutthe how specifically, exactly?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
So first we got to start with awareness, right, I
have to get you to see andunderstand that.
Or let me start over.
I really do believe everythingcomes back to self, everything,
everything If a man is not wherehe wants to be.
I have an example.
I had a guy who wanted to workwith me to get into tech.
Right, this guy had $60,000saved.
(15:03):
He was making $70,000 as anengineer and this, his job, was
walking all over him.
They were making this guy workon work, 10 hour days, work
Saturdays and Sundays.
And I'm like, hey bro, what doyou want?
He's man, I want to get intoanother career where I can make
six figures and I can work fromhome and work 20 hours of work a
week or less.
And I'm like, okay, tell meabout your current situation.
He told me all the numbers andthen I said hey bro, why don't
you tell them, no, I'm notworking on weekends?
(15:23):
Why don't you tell them, no,I'm logging off.
And what we found out was thathe didn't feel comfortable
standing up for himself.
Right, he had a people pleasingnature.
And again, we start withself-awareness.
And you, it's hard to likeyourself when you don't have
boundaries.
So, brother, you don't likeyourself.
Can I get you to agree that youdon't like yourself?
We have to start there.
(15:44):
You have to be able to look atyourself and say I don't like
how I am showing up, I don'tlike me, I don't like the fact
that I don't have boundaries.
So I get them to understandthat they either lack, they
don't like themselves oh, I'msorry, they don't love
themselves, they don't respectthemselves or they don't accept
them.
It's always one of those three.
It is always one of those three.
So now we identify which one itis and then from there, we just
(16:07):
reverse engineer.
Right?
So self-love is self-investment, right?
So this is I'm reading books,I'm drinking water, I'm going to
the gym, I'm doing things inthe now, as you said, to make
the future me better.
Okay, are you drinking water?
Are you reading books?
Are you associating with peoplewho make you feel good and who
pour into you and who reinforcethe positive qualities in you?
(16:28):
Or are you hanging out withpeople who you don't like, who
don't make you feel well, whohold you to a low standard?
Right, that's all self-love.
From there, we look atself-respect.
Self-respect or respect is justadmiration, right?
Treating yourself how you wouldtreat someone who you admire.
So what does your self talksound like?
Most men's self-talk sucks okay.
(16:51):
They say things like I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I can't do it.
Just all that coming out of mymouth just now.
That just sounded weird, itfelt ugh.
Right, they speak to themselvesin such a way that, like if
someone else were to speak tothem, they wouldn't speak to
that person for very long.
But I think we're just so hardon ourselves, right?
And then the third part isself-acceptance.
So that's just what is it aboutyou or your nature that you
(17:13):
have no control over?
But you're still judgingyourself and you're feeling
shameful of it, right?
I just I don't think shame isgood.
I don't think the best versionof me has shame, and it's just
getting yourself to acceptmostly, especially in the West,
that you are a man and that yournature is just different.
You're not bad, you're notworse, you're not evil, you're
not broken, you're not wrong,it's just different.
(17:35):
If I was raised by gorillas orbaboons or whatever any other
animal and they're like hey bro,why are you standing upright?
That's weird, there's somethingwrong.
I would grow to think there'ssomething wrong with me If you
are in a society where you're,it's feminine, or a lot of guys
like I have a guy who works withme and he's like me.
He's a young guy who's alwayshe's never had a problem with
(18:01):
women, but he's also been raisedby all women and so he gets in
a position where it's like he'snot lying all the time, but he's
sugarcoating shit all the timeand he has a very hard time
having direct conversations.
And I'm like bro, it's becauseof your environment, you're not
used to speaking in a masculinemanner, because you're not
speaking to men, you're speakingwith women.
Like I met another guy who hegrew up raised by women and like
I don't think his father Ithink his father died when he
was a young age and he was likeI grew up learning that lying
(18:22):
was okay because you're it's howyou stay safe, right?
Because if I didn't, they wouldall jump down my throat, they'd
all gang up on me.
And so he grows up as an adultwho he's like I'm cheating on
all these women and I just can'tbe honest, and he's I learned
that lying is okay and I'm likebut lying is a side of cowardice
, right?
Do you really believe that thebest version of you is a coward?
No, okay Then.
So you're not being the bestversion of yourself You're doing
(18:44):
you're living out of fear andcowardice, or you're
demonstrating fear and cowardiceinstead of courage, right, so
it's just taking stock andhaving an honest conversation
with yourself about do I treatmyself like someone who I admire
?
Am I investing in myself?
Do I totally accept myself?
If there's something that youdon't like about yourself that
(19:04):
you can change, then change it,and if you can't change it, then
accept it.
But judging yourself, there'sno benefit in it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Just listening to you , it sounds like what everybody
across the world deal with isthe inner critic, and that inner
critic is that inner voicethat's negative.
And then you add in limitingbeliefs, assumptions based on
prior experiences that were badexperiences, and you're
projecting that it's going tohappen in the future, so it
(19:31):
makes you hesitant and afraid totry.
And then you got the narrativethat you tell yourself, which is
the story that you're reallynot good enough, you're not this
, you're not that, right.
And then you add a voice tothat right.
That voice sounds like you inyour head telling you don't do
this, don't try this, you're fat, you're this and you're that.
(19:52):
And then at the end of the day,you listen to that shit and you
and it prevents you from takingsteps forward.
That's what I hear, the type ofmen that you deal with and you
work with, right.
But then the opportunity isalways like how do you help them
create that self-awareness sothat they know that they're
(20:15):
getting in their own way?
Because when you talk about menbeing raised by all women and
then they show up in society andare not as masculine or they're
not as direct or things likethat, right, it's part of their
being, because you adapt to yourenvironment.
Like you said, you hang outwith certain people and you
(20:36):
become that environment.
And so when these average mensometimes they don't even know
what they don't know, so theyjust on autopilot day in and day
out until awareness is created.
And so even the inner critic,the negative self-talk that they
have in their minds, that canbe positive to them.
(21:00):
That can be positive to them.
It can be positive to them andthat's exactly why they're still
in the cycle that they're in,because they don't even know,
because it's a blind spot.
It's a blind spot and so theythink that, just like you also
said, giving them theopportunity to see what those
possibilities are right.
(21:20):
When you're in autopilot, inyour own headspace, talking
negative, creating this negativeversion of yourself, you think
that's cool because guess whatelse?
You're in an environment ofother people who are like that
too.
Yeah, and that's a group.
Think of everybody who's notgoing anywhere.
(21:42):
Yep, right, and it takes trueconsciousness and awareness to
break free of that shit.
That's whatever that looks like.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I would even say that there are men who are not
average.
These are men who aresucceeding, who still talk to
themselves poorly yeah,absolutely.
Who still beat themselves upAbsolutely.
It's across the board, it'sacross the board.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
It's across the board .
You're just zooming in on ademographic of men that you're
trying to bring the light to,and for that I appreciate you,
thank you.
That was just real talk.
But why tech?
You also mentioned you try tohelp guys get into tech.
Why?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
tech.
So one tech is what I did.
I went and I got a degree incomputer science from the
University of North Texas.
So I've been in tech thisentire time, right Since 2020.
So it's just what I know, right.
My dad told me hey, go toschool, do something with math,
you'll be okay.
That's what I did.
I've largely turned out to be.
I'm more than okay.
That being said, I've been intech this whole time, so I don't
(22:39):
know how anyone else lives.
I don't know what jobs are likeoutside of the market, cause
I've always been in tech, right.
But what I have learned is thatpeople, like I've probably done
over 300, 400 calls with men atthis point, right.
And what I'm hearing them saythat they want is financial
freedom, right.
They want to be able to buythings, pay for things, have
(23:00):
experiences, without thinkingfirst can I afford this, right?
Two, they want to travel, right.
Or, more specifically, theywant to work, but they want to
be able to work remotely fromwherever it is that they desire
to be.
Three, they want time freedom,right.
They don't want to feel asthough like I'm working and
grinding away 50, 60, 70 hours aweek here and now I don't have
(23:22):
time for my wife, I don't havetime for my kids, I don't have
time for sports, I don't havetime for self, right.
Those are the three things thatI'm hearing people say, and it
just so happens that I'm in anindustry that allows them to
have that.
I've primarily, almost alwayshad that, but I don't know what
other people don't have until Istart talking to them.
So it also helps me remindmyself to be grateful that I'm
(23:43):
able to make $150,000 workingless than 20 hours a week.
Everybody can't do that intheir current career.
It reminds me to be gratefulthat I could you know, I don't
travel a whole lot, but I couldbe like I'm going to be in LA
next week, right, and I can justtake my laptop with me, do
business from LA while stillworking Right, that I.
(24:04):
It reminds me to be gratefulthat I'm home pretty much every
day.
I get to be here when my kidsget here.
I get to take my children toschool.
I get to spend that time withthem and interact with them.
Everybody doesn't get thatRight, and so just being in this
profession helps me remaingrateful for those things, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
So what's next for you?
What's your objective?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, that's a good one man the podcast King's
Corner.
So I have the podcast calledKing's Corner and then I also
have my organization's name iscalled King's Corner.
We have an online community andI want to get the membership to
a million men, million people.
I really believe that men buildthis world.
Right, if we disappear,everything else disappears
eventually.
Right, we build theinfrastructure.
(24:48):
But we are important.
How we feel, what we think,what we do all of that is
important.
And up until, like I was age 29,30, I didn't believe my
feelings were important.
I didn't believe what I thoughtwas I didn't.
I thought my job was just toshow up and provide and shut up.
I wouldn't have said it thatway back then, but that's how I
felt inside, and so I want totruly inspire men to live an
outstanding life.
I want people to see me the waythey might see like a Jay-Z, or
(25:09):
the way they might see anAndrew Tate, or the way they
might see whoever they idolizeand say, wow, that's incredible,
and I don't want them to stopit, that's incredible.
I want them to say, if he cando it, I can do it, because I'm
not that much different.
I've just read a few more books.
I've made a few more mistakes,right.
There's nothing so specialabout me that what I've done
can't be duplicated, becauseI've just hired mentors and I'm
(25:30):
just taking bits and pieces ofthe wisdom that I've gotten from
them that I like that makessense for me, and following
their footsteps.
So I want to inspire men toreally and truly live the lives
that they desire to live.
That same mentor who I spokeabout earlier was saying that
only men have an identity.
Women don't.
Right, and what he what I thinkhe means by that is when a?
(25:52):
So let me, I got to do somerelationship logic.
So in every relationshipthere's a power dynamic, right,
and in every every romanticrelationship there's always
someone who likes someoneslightly more and someone who
likes the other person slightlyless.
Right, it's never equal, right,someone, the person willing to
leave the relationship and inthe relationship first likes the
(26:14):
other person less, and so youalways have the pursuer and then
you have the pursued.
Ok, the pursuer gets to be withand this is I'm using, or let's
change it, because they're in a, at this point, let's say
they're in a committedrelationship.
So there's the adored and theadorer.
Ok, and so the adored gets tobe with the one who loves them.
(26:37):
The adorer gets to be with theone who they love.
No position is better than theother.
They both need the otherposition to exist.
And so, going back to that, hewas saying men have an identity,
women don't.
A woman typically will becomewhoever she needs to be in order
to keep the attention of theman who she desires right.
So if I say I don't like womenwho are loud and boisterous and
(27:01):
mean, and this woman reallywants me to like her, she's not
going to be loud, boisterous forme.
So she changes who she is sothat she can fit in my life.
That changing who she is iswhat I think he means by saying
she doesn't have an identity.
I am who I am and I'm going tobe me, be masculine, move how I
want to move and not try to movein any kind of way that gets
(27:22):
people to think a certain thingabout me.
I just am who I am.
He said your job as a man is tocultivate yourself and then
show up to the world and presentthem.
Present yourself to them.
Right now.
I've seen the otherrelationships go the other way
around, where the man likes thewoman more and so he's molding
himself to who he needs to be inorder to keep her.
However, this doesn't work,because this makes the woman
(27:44):
feel unsafe.
She starts to believe wait, ifI can control you, then you
can't keep me safe, because ifsomeone tries to attack us, like
if you're so easily controlledby me, he can control you, she
can control you.
And so that it just doesn'twork that way, the relationships
that I know that really lastlong-term, and the ones that I
would actually want to emulate,it's the man is the adored, the
(28:07):
woman is the adorer, right.
And so I say all that to say Iwant to show men how to become
the best versions of themselvesso they can start having
effortless relationships withthe women that they want, right.
And you do that by like sayingforget the one that you want and
figure out who wants you,because it's just easier that
way.
If she wants you, if he'schasing you, then she can't
(28:27):
leave, you don't have to worryabout what she's doing or where
she's going and things like that.
And as a man who has beencheated on several times, I
understand how we get there.
So that's one part of it.
I understand how we get there,so that's one part of it.
I want to show men what itlooks like to live an
outstanding life and haveeffortless relationships where
she believes that you are thebest that she can possibly do
and for that reason she's notgoing to rock the boat, she's
(28:47):
not going to be argumentative,she's not going to be crass,
she's not going to bedisrespectful, because she
believes that this is the best Ican do.
Any other man would be adowngrade.
And I tell women like straightup, just like that If you don't
think I'm the best you can do,you should just leave me alone
because it's not going to workanyway.
And then on the other side ofthat this is a more recent goal.
Everybody knows Hugh Hefnerright, my goal is to.
(29:10):
I'm building an organizationcalled the Good Girl Gang and
this is a group of women whowant to be led.
They don't want to considerthemselves equal to men.
They want to be told what to do.
They want to turn their brainoff.
They don't want to makedecisions all day.
They just want a man who theylove, trust, respect, who they
believe has their best interestat heart, and they want to be
led.
And the relationship coachingis actually a whole lot easier
(29:33):
for women.
Like I could show any woman howto get just about any man that
she wants, assuming she can getin the same room with him,
because men are simple.
Men are so simple it isridiculous.
Okay, and so I'm.
I'm starting that up too.
I'm really excited about that.
I believe that I need a woman toin order to be become the best
version of myself, like the bestversion of me knows how to lead
(29:54):
and interact with men, women,children, straight people, gay
people, tall people, shortpeople.
I need these people in order tobecome the best version of
myself.
Otherwise, I can never interactwith them and I can't learn how
to interact with them.
Likewise, I think that womenneed men in order to become the
best version of themselves.
I think that they need to learnhow to follow.
I think that they need someoneto confide in.
(30:17):
I think that you, being in yourprofessional life I'm assuming
that you can tell what a woman.
You can spot a woman fromtalking to her who did not have
a safe relationship with herfather growing up.
You can see it on them asadults, and so that to me, is
like proof that like they needus, and so if they need us, then
(30:37):
let's show them the bestversions of ourself.
Not necessarily for them, we'redoing it for us.
They just so happen to get thebest version of us as a
byproduct.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah, they need.
We society needs the bestversion of good men, regardless,
across all races and thingslike that, across all races and
things like that.
And then we also need justbetter communication, because I
think not that I'm arelationship expert, but I've
been married for 16 years andthat's not the average marriage,
(31:08):
bro.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
You're, you could teach the average guy something,
yeah, and I think where thingshave like really synced us up is
the communication piece of it,and I hear you Women want to be
led and things like that.
Guys should be, take charge, bethe leader, things like that.
All important, all true, but Ialso feel that I know I'm going
(31:31):
to speak for myself.
I need a strong woman, andthat's what I was attracted to,
(31:51):
and not that.
What I mean by strong, I don'tmean like she's going to take
the family and although you'regoing to be my right hand, my
partner in crime, all of thatright, I want you to have that
same confidence in yourself asyou do in me, and I personally
(32:13):
don't want a timid woman thatjust consistently is a yes woman
.
I don't need a yes woman, right?
I want a woman that's going tohelp elevate me and not be
afraid to tell me what I need tohear when I need to hear it.
Who's not afraid to just callme out on some stuff, because I
think that makes me better as aman I'm hearing you say you want
(32:36):
a woman who's honest with you,for sure, for sure, absolutely,
absolutely, and I think that'swhat's made my relationship so
powerful, like a power couple,and been able to achieve goals
and dreams and things like that.
So I think that's most important.
But when most people like andI'm going to go back to what we
(33:00):
were talking about they're justin autopilot and whether it's
just chasing ass and not evenreally worrying about the
ramifications of the long-termpossibilities with a person,
they just want this and whenthey want it.
And so that's where peoplestart to cheat and doing things
in that nature, because theywant what they want when they
want it and not looking at thebigger picture and how the
(33:23):
benefits of a woman, a job,whatever, can really have a
positive impact on you.
Because it goes back to what wewere saying it's that inner
critic, it's that judgment right, you need this.
Or even when you do have a goodwoman, right, the inner critic
shows up and it's telling youthat she's thinking this and
(33:44):
this of you which is not eventrue, and you believe it and you
go out and do some stupid stuff.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
And then you realize damn, I was wrong.
I got a question for youBecause I heard you use a few
buzzwords.
What is?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
A good woman is loyalty, trust, mindfulness,
openness.
A good woman for Mo.
Okay, so that's what I wasgoing to get at.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
So when we say good woman, it's very subjective,
because what you would considera good woman, I may not, or
there may be some overlap, butit's not going to be exactly the
same I may not, or there may besome overlap, but it's not
going to be exactly the same.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I'm saying yeah, I'm saying a good woman for Mo you
know what I mean which is mywife, because it's those
qualities and I was very Iremember man because I was in
the single game for a long timeand then when I decided to
settle, I was very strategic inwhat I wanted in my wife and
that's what my wife is right.
(34:37):
All of those characteristics,yes, and I think it's also
important, if you don't havethat sweetheart early on,
someone that you really desire,it's okay to be strategic about
what you want in a woman and goafter it.
And because, at the end of theday, I view marriage as a
partnership and I need my wifeto be that partner that's going
(35:01):
to help elevate me and that'simportant to me.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Question.
I got a question, or not even aquestion.
I want to say my argument isthis there is no such thing as a
good woman.
There is no such thing, therecan't be right, or there is no
one definition of a good womanbecause there's no, there's no
one good definition, because Idefine what's good for mom, and
in order to meet that label.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yes, she's a good woman?
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yes, and in order for a woman to be good for me, I
have to teach her how to treatme Right.
So it is incumbent upon me toteach whatever.
But here's the thing she alsohas to like me enough to want to
change herself.
For me Does that make sense?
If she is doing it begrudgingly, then that's not going to work.
That's not going to last longterm.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
That's part of the partnership, though that comes
with the whole communicationpiece.
Right, Because marriage is alearning process.
Right, Like when we first gotmarried, it's totally different
than where we are tonight, wherewe are today, because you go
through these bumps and thesehiccups and things like that and
(36:07):
through.
That's the learning process.
I'm learning from her and she'slearning from me.
But I'm going to, I'm going to,I'm going to slow this down
really quick because I want to.
I want my listeners to know howcan they find you?
And final thoughts that youhave to share.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Yeah for sure.
So they can find me in a coupleof places.
On Instagram, you can find meat the that's T H E R P A,
that's R, as in Robert P, as inPaul A, as in Ashley guy on
Instagram, the RPA guy.
They can also find me onYouTube at Kings Corner Podcast
(36:43):
TV.
Those are the two easiestplaces to go about reaching me.
And final thoughts, man is it'sall about self.
It's all about self.
I tell people that, like I comeacross people especially being
an influencer online which Inever meant to be here.
This is where I am today.
I have all kinds of people whosay things and it's clear that
they don't like me.
But you can't not like me.
You don't know me.
So what you're really saying isyou don't like how you feel
(37:06):
when you see me.
That's an internal problem andthat just lets me.
It reinforces the idea thateverything comes back to self.
So the best version of yourselfis what's best for everybody
else is truly what I believe,and I believe that the world
would be a better place if weall found ways to just love
ourselves more, like love yourwife, love your kids, love
everybody.
But, bro, love you, respect you, accept you, and it makes it
(37:29):
easier to love, respect andaccept everybody else and
incorporate gratitude andgratitude.
And gratitude.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That's what we started this off with Sure.
I appreciate you, man.
Thanks for your time today.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Absolutely, thank you .
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
I encourage you to subscribe onyour favorite podcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(38:03):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach Mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(38:25):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-promoting discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, coach Mo, andI'm here with another amazing
guest my man, my brother, ad.
What's good man?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
What's going on, man?
I'm living life, I'm excited,I'm young, I'm sexy, I'm
hydrated, I'm having a good time, man.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
But tell me this man when areyou checking in from Dallas?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
the DFW area.
The DFW area, dallas, thatmeans you're a Cowboys fan too.
No, I actually, bro, I'mwinning in my life, so much I
don't I'm not watching anysports.
I'll watch the Superbowl and Iactually like to make fun of
Cowboys fans, like it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
They get so pissed I don't.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I couldn't tell you who's playing for him other than
the quarterback.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Got you, got you, got you.
So tell my audience who you are, what you do.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, for sure.
I go by a couple of differentnames.
One you can find me onInstagram at AD the RPA guy.
So one thing I do is I help menget into tech, make six figures
, work from home, work remotely,work from wherever the hell
they want to work in less thansix months.
So that's one thing that I do.
And then, outside of that, Ialso do men's lifestyle and
relationship coaching.
(02:23):
I have a podcast called King'sCorner, but I really talk about
and I harp on self-love,self-respect, self-acceptance
and gratitude for men.
I really do believe those arethe four pillars of living a
great, outstanding life, and I'mjust I'm pro-masculinity, I'm
pro-man and I just enjoy what Ido.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Let's start with that then let's start with that,
then let's start with thatLiving this great, outstanding
life.
And the one buzzword in yourfour pillars that I want to
explore first is gratitude,because that's a crucial
foundation in all that we do.
You know what I mean.
Whether, whatever path you godown, gratitude should be,
(03:03):
always, should be, present.
So tell me a little bit moreabout how you're incorporating
gratitude into your pillars andhow you're working.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You.
You can't get more of anythingunless until you're grateful for
what you currently do have.
Even if you feel like what youhave is not a lot, you still
need gratitude Right.
Even if you feel like what youhave is not a lot, you still
need gratitude Right.
And the human condition is suchthat we don't feel happy unless
we're growing and progressingtowards something Right.
And the challenge with that isthat and overachievers typically
(03:34):
focus on what they don't haveRight, because I'm focused on
what I want, and if I want it,it means I don't have it.
But we can get stuck in thatthinking and forget to be
grateful for that which we dohave, because we have so many
things today that we thoughtthat we wouldn't or that we
wanted in the past that wedidn't have.
So we are exactly where wewanted to be at some point, even
though we're not where we wantto be right now.
(03:54):
And it's just you can't.
And I love the fact that youcan't feel grateful and fearful
at the same time.
You can't feel grateful andhateful at the same time and so
one influences the other yes,and so for that reason alone,
like gratitude is, it isnecessary.
It is what I wake up and I do.
(04:15):
The first thing I do everymorning is my breathing
exercises.
The very next thing I do ismove my gratitude journal right.
It is the pillar of what it isthat I do, and I and you and you
, just you're not capable, it's.
I don't think it's possible tolive your best version of
yourself or live your best lifewithout gratitude.
I don't think it's possible.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, so take us through the journey in how you
self-discovered that foryourself.
Oh, man.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So last year 2024, I spent over a hundred thousand
dollars on mentorship, right,and it was one of the best years
of my life.
I made more money than I'veever made.
I started my business.
I didn't start my business.
I got serious about my businessat that point and I was in a
point where I'm married I hadlike a girlfriend at the same
time and then she had left and Iwas really sad about that and I
(05:00):
had got a mentor and one of thethings he kept telling me I
paid this guy 300 bucks a month,Great guy.
And he would just tell me like,bro, do what you want to do, Do
what you want to do because youwant to do it, not because
society expects it of you, notbecause your wife expects it of
you or whatever.
And one of the other things hewould always talk about is
gratitude.
Right, Like he had this wholeand he's a big macho, like
masculine guy, Like the kind ofguy you look at and would be
(05:29):
afraid of just because his sizeand how boisterous he is.
And to hear him talk aboutgratitude all the damn time, I
was like, okay, this must bevery important, Right, and he,
unlike me, he was not veryjudgmental of people, so he was
just very focused on gratitude,masculinity and all these other
concepts that I had never reallyhad another man break down to
me and very influential to meand over the course of four or
five months of coaching, this isjust what we talked about,
(05:51):
right, and he talked about likehow I would itemize gratitude.
Like I said I get in the car andthen I turned the AC on and it
was weird.
It was like, okay, I'm gratefulfor the air that is blowing.
And he, one of the things hetold me he was like man, what
you need to realize is everymoment in your life you have
exactly what it is that you need.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Every moment you have which you may not have, what
you want but every moment youhave what you need, and that was
just something that stuck withme.
Whoever that mentor is, he'sdropping powerful wisdom and
nuggets, because that's exactlywhat I live by.
You can't.
One thing that I share with myclients is right.
All there is right now, thismoment, that's it.
Tomorrow isn't here, yetYesterday has already happened.
(06:31):
The only thing that you canpossibly do right now is act
right now and think right now.
That's all you have controlover, and what you think and do
and be gracious for influencesyour tomorrow.
Yes, and that's so powerfulbecause when you look at the
society that we're in, theadministration change and all
(06:53):
the different regulations andthings that's coming out is
generating a lot of fear.
I can't.
What am I going to do?
Blah, blah, blah.
Right, all you can do right nowis think and plan right now,
and that's what you have controlover, is your own control.
You know what I mean.
And so what was it that helped,influenced you to work with men
(07:15):
and move into this coachingspace?
What was that for you?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
That's a good question, man.
Let me start with this I lovewomen, I love femininity.
I like to be around happy women.
It is a full-time job to keepmy energy high.
I don't want to spend any timewith anyone who's.
I got to pull them up becausethat means they're pulling me
down Right.
And I had that same mentor, thesame coach.
His name is Miles Cunningham.
You can find him on Instagramat miles in the game and I was
(07:41):
telling him what my goal was andat the time it was to have
three wives and we all have ourown places and all this other
stuff and he was like hey, bro,like I hear what you want, but I
think you might be a little toofocused on women.
I think you might be makingthem too important to you.
And I've also listened to a lotof Tony Robbins and one of the
things that I'm certain of weall have tell me if you've heard
(08:02):
this before we all have sixhuman needs, right?
Certainty is the first one,right, we need to be certain
that we can be safe, certainthat we can get comfort If me
and you are sitting in the sameroom and we don't know if the
roof is going to cave in or not.
It doesn't matter what I'mcommunicating you, you're not
going to feel safe enough toeven listen, right?
The second one that we need isuncertainty, like we need
(08:22):
variety.
If you knew everything that wasgoing to happen in every moment
of every day, it'd be cool atfirst, but then you get bored.
So we need variety, right?
The third thing is love, orconnection, right, because we're
communal by nature, right?
I'm missing one Certaintyuncertainty, love, connection,
(08:42):
significance is the fourth oneTo feel that I am unique, to
feel that I am special, to feelthat I make a difference.
That's our ego, ok, and then?
So those are the first fourneeds that everybody finds a way
to meet somehow, some way.
Then we have the last two needsthat are spiritual.
You might meet these two, youmight not, ok?
The fifth one is growth tobecome better, to be, to grow,
(09:02):
to expand, to develop.
And then the fourth one is tocontribute, to give to something
bigger than you.
And so which of those six thatyou, again, we all have all six.
What makes the biggestdifference in your life is which
one you prioritize, and I knewthat, in order to become the
best version of myself, I wouldhave to prioritize growth or
(09:23):
contribution.
I decided to prioritize growth,so that's why I'm always about
self-love, self-respect,self-acceptance.
That's growth, but contribution.
I'm thinking like, okay, whoneeds this?
Who needs to hear this message?
Men are struggling, and onething that I used to say often
is I'm not average, my friendsare not average.
I don't know what the averageman does.
I don't know what kind of carhe drives, I don't know what he
(09:44):
thinks about, I don't hangaround average people.
And then I started to realizebut the average man needs my
help.
The average man does not likehimself, he does not love
himself, he does not respecthimself, and if he doesn't like
himself, his woman cannot likehim.
If he does not respect himself,his woman cannot accept him.
And so I went from thisabstract idea of the average man
(10:06):
, me not.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What's the basis of this average man, though?
What does that look like?
Because I think everyoneeveryone has their own
perception of just because I'mnot making X amount of dollars,
but I'm totally fulfilled in mymarriage and the work that I do,
and it may not be a millionairewhen I say average, I'm going
fulfilled in my marriage and thework that I do, and it may not
be a millionaire when I sayaverage, I'm going off of
(10:28):
statistics.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
So do you think that the average man is fulfilled in
his marriage?
Average marriage.
I don't know, but in my opinion,the ones that you see when you
walk down the street or youwatch TV or whatever, average,
not great marriages.
You're talking about men ingreat marriages.
If I'm totally fulfilled, I ingreat marriage, if I'm totally
fulfilled, I think.
Let me put it this way Ibelieve that the average person
is average at most things theydo.
So the average man's income islike $35,000 a year.
(10:51):
That's average.
I'm going based on numbers andstatistics.
I'm not going off of my opinion.
The average marriage ends indivorce and on average, women
leave more often.
They leave 80% of the time.
Right, the average American isoverweight.
So I'm just going off ofliterally the law of large
numbers and averages.
And if you were to just pick aman, you said okay, this is an
average height, man five nine.
(11:11):
Average income 35,000.
Average body weight he'soverweight.
Average marriage he's miserable.
If you just did that, to methat is an average life.
And also, I think average isbad.
I think that is a.
I think that is a bad, pitifullife.
I wouldn't want to live thatlife.
I wouldn't like me.
This is not me judging them, Ijust know that it wouldn't be
(11:32):
okay for me.
And that's what I get, where Iget average from, and that man,
I think, needs help, and I thinkthat we live in a time where
masculinity is shunned right,and so it's expected that you
act feminine and you thinkfemininely, and if you don't,
then you're toxic and yourmasculinity is toxic, and I just
think it's a bunch of bullshit,man.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So how do you help them then?
How do you so?
You found this average personwho needs your help.
What does that help?
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I don't believe in imposing myself on others,
because I don't think you canforce feed anybody.
I think it just makes themresent you.
I don't think you can forcefeed anybody, I think it just
makes them resent you.
I don't look at average men andsay oh, you need help.
I just lead by example.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
No, I say.
When someone reaches out to youand they say I need some help
AD, what is that process and howyou help elevate them?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I really.
So it goes back to the fourpillars.
I really and truly do believeso let's.
My goal for them is always tolive an outstanding life.
Do believe so, let's I.
My goal for them is always tolive an outstanding life.
What is outstanding?
When I say outstanding, I meanyou see somebody doing something
and you say, holy shit, I hadno idea that was possible.
I didn't even know that was athing.
I'm inspired to do that too.
So that's my goal for them.
That's also my goal for myself.
(12:38):
How do we go about getting there?
We need a couple of things.
One, we need clarity.
What kind of man do you want tobe?
Who do you want to be?
What do you want to drive?
Where do you want to live?
How do you want to show up inthe world?
So we need clarity.
Obviously, we need a gratitudeas well.
And then I think we need thoseother three pillars self-love,
self-respect, self-acceptance,right?
I'll give you an example.
I have a friend and again, Idon't have any average friends,
(13:00):
right?
Great guy, he works in carsales, makes six figures, he's
got a lady, they've got kids andthey live a good life.
And great guy, like standup guy, very honorable.
I've known him since highschool, one of my longest
standing friends, right, and hewas telling me how sometimes he
and his lady like I have afalling out.
This was years ago I don'tthink this is happening anymore
(13:23):
and he said, said, whenever theywould fall out, I guess she'd
move out, he'd move out orwhatever, or maybe they wouldn't
move out, but he would end upcheating on her and having
another girl or whatever.
And in order to stop himselffrom doing this, he would play
this really sad music, the songfrom the 80s, where this guy's
singing about how bad he feelswhen he cheats on this woman in
order to keep him from cheating.
(13:43):
And then he still cheats.
So I'm like, bro, it's in yournature.
You are polygynous by nature.
That is just who you are.
You wouldn't buy a dog or adopta dog and then be upset that
the dog barks.
Or a dog wouldn't be upset thatit barks.
That is in its nature.
You do not accept your nature.
Therefore, you don't feel goodabout yourself.
You can't.
(14:03):
I just don't believe that youbecome the best version of
yourself fighting your nature.
You must find a way to pointyour nature and use it in a way
that serves you, but it doesn'tmake sense to feel shame about
something that's built into youthat you have no control over,
right.
So I really think those threepillars, or those four pillars
self-love, self-respect,self-acceptance and gratitude
Maybe I'll add something to itlater, but I really do think
(14:24):
that if men had those fourthings right and they really
developed their masculinity andmasculinity is basically, but
how do you?
Speaker 1 (14:31):
go ahead?
How do you help them?
You know, develop that, though,like they're coming to you.
Okay, so you're asking aboutthe how specifically, exactly?
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
So first we got to start with awareness, right, I
have to get you to see andunderstand that.
Or let me start over.
I really do believe everythingcomes back to self, everything,
everything If a man is not wherehe wants to be.
I have an example.
I had a guy who wanted to workwith me to get into tech.
Right, this guy had $60,000saved.
(15:03):
He was making $70,000 as anengineer and this, his job, was
walking all over him.
They were making this guy workon work, 10 hour days, work
Saturdays and Sundays.
And I'm like, hey bro, what doyou want?
He's man, I want to get intoanother career where I can make
six figures and I can work fromhome and work 20 hours of work a
week or less.
And I'm like, okay, tell meabout your current situation.
He told me all the numbers andthen I said hey bro, why don't
you tell them, no, I'm notworking on weekends?
(15:23):
Why don't you tell them, no,I'm logging off.
And what we found out was thathe didn't feel comfortable
standing up for himself.
Right, he had a people pleasingnature.
And again, we start withself-awareness.
And you, it's hard to likeyourself when you don't have
boundaries.
So, brother, you don't likeyourself.
Can I get you to agree that youdon't like yourself?
We have to start there.
(15:44):
You have to be able to look atyourself and say I don't like
how I am showing up, I don'tlike me, I don't like the fact
that I don't have boundaries.
So I get them to understandthat they either lack, they
don't like themselves oh, I'msorry, they don't love
themselves, they don't respectthemselves or they don't accept
them.
It's always one of those three.
It is always one of those three.
So now we identify which one itis and then from there, we just
(16:07):
reverse engineer.
Right?
So self-love is self-investment, right?
So this is I'm reading books,I'm drinking water, I'm going to
the gym, I'm doing things inthe now, as you said, to make
the future me better.
Okay, are you drinking water?
Are you reading books?
Are you associating with peoplewho make you feel good and who
pour into you and who reinforcethe positive qualities in you?
(16:28):
Or are you hanging out withpeople who you don't like, who
don't make you feel well, whohold you to a low standard?
Right, that's all self-love.
From there, we look atself-respect.
Self-respect or respect is justadmiration, right?
Treating yourself how you wouldtreat someone who you admire.
So what does your self talksound like?
Most men's self-talk sucks okay.
(16:51):
They say things like I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I can't do it.
Just all that coming out of mymouth just now.
That just sounded weird, itfelt ugh.
Right, they speak to themselvesin such a way that, like if
someone else were to speak tothem, they wouldn't speak to
that person for very long.
But I think we're just so hardon ourselves, right?
And then the third part isself-acceptance.
So that's just what is it aboutyou or your nature that you
(17:13):
have no control over?
But you're still judgingyourself and you're feeling
shameful of it, right?
I just I don't think shame isgood.
I don't think the best versionof me has shame, and it's just
getting yourself to acceptmostly, especially in the West,
that you are a man and that yournature is just different.
You're not bad, you're notworse, you're not evil, you're
not broken, you're not wrong,it's just different.
(17:35):
If I was raised by gorillas orbaboons or whatever any other
animal and they're like hey bro,why are you standing upright?
That's weird, there's somethingwrong.
I would grow to think there'ssomething wrong with me If you
are in a society where you're,it's feminine, or a lot of guys
like I have a guy who works withme and he's like me.
He's a young guy who's alwayshe's never had a problem with
(18:01):
women, but he's also been raisedby all women and so he gets in
a position where it's like he'snot lying all the time, but he's
sugarcoating shit all the timeand he has a very hard time
having direct conversations.
And I'm like bro, it's becauseof your environment, you're not
used to speaking in a masculinemanner, because you're not
speaking to men, you're speakingwith women.
Like I met another guy who hegrew up raised by women and like
I don't think his father Ithink his father died when he
was a young age and he was likeI grew up learning that lying
(18:22):
was okay because you're it's howyou stay safe, right?
Because if I didn't, they wouldall jump down my throat, they'd
all gang up on me.
And so he grows up as an adultwho he's like I'm cheating on
all these women and I just can'tbe honest, and he's I learned
that lying is okay and I'm likebut lying is a side of cowardice
, right?
Do you really believe that thebest version of you is a coward?
No, okay Then.
So you're not being the bestversion of yourself You're doing
(18:44):
you're living out of fear andcowardice, or you're
demonstrating fear and cowardiceinstead of courage, right, so
it's just taking stock andhaving an honest conversation
with yourself about do I treatmyself like someone who I admire
?
Am I investing in myself?
Do I totally accept myself?
If there's something that youdon't like about yourself that
(19:04):
you can change, then change it,and if you can't change it, then
accept it.
But judging yourself, there'sno benefit in it.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Just listening to you , it sounds like what everybody
across the world deal with isthe inner critic, and that inner
critic is that inner voicethat's negative.
And then you add in limitingbeliefs, assumptions based on
prior experiences that were badexperiences, and you're
projecting that it's going tohappen in the future, so it
(19:31):
makes you hesitant and afraid totry.
And then you got the narrativethat you tell yourself, which is
the story that you're reallynot good enough, you're not this
, you're not that, right.
And then you add a voice tothat right.
That voice sounds like you inyour head telling you don't do
this, don't try this, you're fat, you're this and you're that.
(19:52):
And then at the end of the day,you listen to that shit and you
and it prevents you from takingsteps forward.
That's what I hear, the type ofmen that you deal with and you
work with, right.
But then the opportunity isalways like how do you help them
create that self-awareness sothat they know that they're
(20:15):
getting in their own way?
Because when you talk about menbeing raised by all women and
then they show up in society andare not as masculine or they're
not as direct or things likethat, right, it's part of their
being, because you adapt to yourenvironment.
Like you said, you hang outwith certain people and you
(20:36):
become that environment.
And so when these average mensometimes they don't even know
what they don't know, so theyjust on autopilot day in and day
out until awareness is created.
And so even the inner critic,the negative self-talk that they
have in their minds, that canbe positive to them.
(21:00):
That can be positive to them.
It can be positive to them andthat's exactly why they're still
in the cycle that they're in,because they don't even know,
because it's a blind spot.
It's a blind spot and so theythink that, just like you also
said, giving them theopportunity to see what those
possibilities are right.
(21:20):
When you're in autopilot, inyour own headspace, talking
negative, creating this negativeversion of yourself, you think
that's cool because guess whatelse?
You're in an environment ofother people who are like that
too.
Yeah, and that's a group.
Think of everybody who's notgoing anywhere.
(21:42):
Yep, right, and it takes trueconsciousness and awareness to
break free of that shit.
That's whatever that looks like.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I would even say that there are men who are not
average.
These are men who aresucceeding, who still talk to
themselves poorly yeah,absolutely.
Who still beat themselves upAbsolutely.
It's across the board, it'sacross the board.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
It's across the board .
You're just zooming in on ademographic of men that you're
trying to bring the light to,and for that I appreciate you,
thank you.
That was just real talk.
But why tech?
You also mentioned you try tohelp guys get into tech.
Why?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
tech.
So one tech is what I did.
I went and I got a degree incomputer science from the
University of North Texas.
So I've been in tech thisentire time, right Since 2020.
So it's just what I know, right.
My dad told me hey, go toschool, do something with math,
you'll be okay.
That's what I did.
I've largely turned out to be.
I'm more than okay.
That being said, I've been intech this whole time, so I don't
(22:39):
know how anyone else lives.
I don't know what jobs are likeoutside of the market, cause
I've always been in tech, right.
But what I have learned is thatpeople, like I've probably done
over 300, 400 calls with men atthis point, right.
And what I'm hearing them saythat they want is financial
freedom, right.
They want to be able to buythings, pay for things, have
(23:00):
experiences, without thinkingfirst can I afford this, right?
Two, they want to travel, right.
Or, more specifically, theywant to work, but they want to
be able to work remotely fromwherever it is that they desire
to be.
Three, they want time freedom,right.
They don't want to feel asthough like I'm working and
grinding away 50, 60, 70 hours aweek here and now I don't have
(23:22):
time for my wife, I don't havetime for my kids, I don't have
time for sports, I don't havetime for self, right.
Those are the three things thatI'm hearing people say, and it
just so happens that I'm in anindustry that allows them to
have that.
I've primarily, almost alwayshad that, but I don't know what
other people don't have until Istart talking to them.
So it also helps me remindmyself to be grateful that I'm
(23:43):
able to make $150,000 workingless than 20 hours a week.
Everybody can't do that intheir current career.
It reminds me to be gratefulthat I could you know, I don't
travel a whole lot, but I couldbe like I'm going to be in LA
next week, right, and I can justtake my laptop with me, do
business from LA while stillworking Right, that I.
(24:04):
It reminds me to be gratefulthat I'm home pretty much every
day.
I get to be here when my kidsget here.
I get to take my children toschool.
I get to spend that time withthem and interact with them.
Everybody doesn't get thatRight, and so just being in this
profession helps me remaingrateful for those things, okay.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
So what's next for you?
What's your objective?
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, that's a good one man the podcast King's
Corner.
So I have the podcast calledKing's Corner and then I also
have my organization's name iscalled King's Corner.
We have an online community andI want to get the membership to
a million men, million people.
I really believe that men buildthis world.
Right, if we disappear,everything else disappears
eventually.
Right, we build theinfrastructure.
(24:48):
But we are important.
How we feel, what we think,what we do all of that is
important.
And up until, like I was age 29,30, I didn't believe my
feelings were important.
I didn't believe what I thoughtwas I didn't.
I thought my job was just toshow up and provide and shut up.
I wouldn't have said it thatway back then, but that's how I
felt inside, and so I want totruly inspire men to live an
outstanding life.
I want people to see me the waythey might see like a Jay-Z, or
(25:09):
the way they might see anAndrew Tate, or the way they
might see whoever they idolizeand say, wow, that's incredible,
and I don't want them to stopit, that's incredible.
I want them to say, if he cando it, I can do it, because I'm
not that much different.
I've just read a few more books.
I've made a few more mistakes,right.
There's nothing so specialabout me that what I've done
can't be duplicated, becauseI've just hired mentors and I'm
(25:30):
just taking bits and pieces ofthe wisdom that I've gotten from
them that I like that makessense for me, and following
their footsteps.
So I want to inspire men toreally and truly live the lives
that they desire to live.
That same mentor who I spokeabout earlier was saying that
only men have an identity.
Women don't.
Right, and what he what I thinkhe means by that is when a?
(25:52):
So let me, I got to do somerelationship logic.
So in every relationshipthere's a power dynamic, right,
and in every every romanticrelationship there's always
someone who likes someoneslightly more and someone who
likes the other person slightlyless.
Right, it's never equal, right,someone, the person willing to
leave the relationship and inthe relationship first likes the
(26:14):
other person less, and so youalways have the pursuer and then
you have the pursued.
Ok, the pursuer gets to be withand this is I'm using, or let's
change it, because they're in a, at this point, let's say
they're in a committedrelationship.
So there's the adored and theadorer.
Ok, and so the adored gets tobe with the one who loves them.
(26:37):
The adorer gets to be with theone who they love.
No position is better than theother.
They both need the otherposition to exist.
And so, going back to that, hewas saying men have an identity,
women don't.
A woman typically will becomewhoever she needs to be in order
to keep the attention of theman who she desires right.
So if I say I don't like womenwho are loud and boisterous and
(27:01):
mean, and this woman reallywants me to like her, she's not
going to be loud, boisterous forme.
So she changes who she is sothat she can fit in my life.
That changing who she is iswhat I think he means by saying
she doesn't have an identity.
I am who I am and I'm going tobe me, be masculine, move how I
want to move and not try to movein any kind of way that gets
(27:22):
people to think a certain thingabout me.
I just am who I am.
He said your job as a man is tocultivate yourself and then
show up to the world and presentthem.
Present yourself to them.
Right now.
I've seen the otherrelationships go the other way
around, where the man likes thewoman more and so he's molding
himself to who he needs to be inorder to keep her.
However, this doesn't work,because this makes the woman
(27:44):
feel unsafe.
She starts to believe wait, ifI can control you, then you
can't keep me safe, because ifsomeone tries to attack us, like
if you're so easily controlledby me, he can control you, she
can control you.
And so that it just doesn'twork that way, the relationships
that I know that really lastlong-term, and the ones that I
would actually want to emulate,it's the man is the adored, the
(28:07):
woman is the adorer, right.
And so I say all that to say Iwant to show men how to become
the best versions of themselvesso they can start having
effortless relationships withthe women that they want, right.
And you do that by like sayingforget the one that you want and
figure out who wants you,because it's just easier that
way.
If she wants you, if he'schasing you, then she can't
(28:27):
leave, you don't have to worryabout what she's doing or where
she's going and things like that.
And as a man who has beencheated on several times, I
understand how we get there.
So that's one part of it.
I understand how we get there,so that's one part of it.
I want to show men what itlooks like to live an
outstanding life and haveeffortless relationships where
she believes that you are thebest that she can possibly do
and for that reason she's notgoing to rock the boat, she's
(28:47):
not going to be argumentative,she's not going to be crass,
she's not going to bedisrespectful, because she
believes that this is the best Ican do.
Any other man would be adowngrade.
And I tell women like straightup, just like that If you don't
think I'm the best you can do,you should just leave me alone
because it's not going to workanyway.
And then on the other side ofthat this is a more recent goal.
Everybody knows Hugh Hefnerright, my goal is to.
(29:10):
I'm building an organizationcalled the Good Girl Gang and
this is a group of women whowant to be led.
They don't want to considerthemselves equal to men.
They want to be told what to do.
They want to turn their brainoff.
They don't want to makedecisions all day.
They just want a man who theylove, trust, respect, who they
believe has their best interestat heart, and they want to be
led.
And the relationship coachingis actually a whole lot easier
(29:33):
for women.
Like I could show any woman howto get just about any man that
she wants, assuming she can getin the same room with him,
because men are simple.
Men are so simple it isridiculous.
Okay, and so I'm.
I'm starting that up too.
I'm really excited about that.
I believe that I need a woman toin order to be become the best
version of myself, like the bestversion of me knows how to lead
(29:54):
and interact with men, women,children, straight people, gay
people, tall people, shortpeople.
I need these people in order tobecome the best version of
myself.
Otherwise, I can never interactwith them and I can't learn how
to interact with them.
Likewise, I think that womenneed men in order to become the
best version of themselves.
I think that they need to learnhow to follow.
I think that they need someoneto confide in.
(30:17):
I think that you, being in yourprofessional life I'm assuming
that you can tell what a woman.
You can spot a woman fromtalking to her who did not have
a safe relationship with herfather growing up.
You can see it on them asadults, and so that to me, is
like proof that like they needus, and so if they need us, then
(30:37):
let's show them the bestversions of ourself.
Not necessarily for them, we'redoing it for us.
They just so happen to get thebest version of us as a
byproduct.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Yeah, they need.
We society needs the bestversion of good men, regardless,
across all races and thingslike that, across all races and
things like that.
And then we also need justbetter communication, because I
think not that I'm arelationship expert, but I've
been married for 16 years andthat's not the average marriage,
(31:08):
bro.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
So that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
You're, you could teach the average guy something,
yeah, and I think where thingshave like really synced us up is
the communication piece of it,and I hear you Women want to be
led and things like that.
Guys should be, take charge, bethe leader, things like that.
All important, all true, but Ialso feel that I know I'm going
(31:31):
to speak for myself.
I need a strong woman, andthat's what I was attracted to,
(31:51):
and not that.
What I mean by strong, I don'tmean like she's going to take
the family and although you'regoing to be my right hand, my
partner in crime, all of thatright, I want you to have that
same confidence in yourself asyou do in me, and I personally
(32:13):
don't want a timid woman thatjust consistently is a yes woman
.
I don't need a yes woman, right?
I want a woman that's going tohelp elevate me and not be
afraid to tell me what I need tohear when I need to hear it.
Who's not afraid to just callme out on some stuff, because I
think that makes me better as aman I'm hearing you say you want
(32:36):
a woman who's honest with you,for sure, for sure, absolutely,
absolutely, and I think that'swhat's made my relationship so
powerful, like a power couple,and been able to achieve goals
and dreams and things like that.
So I think that's most important.
But when most people like andI'm going to go back to what we
(33:00):
were talking about they're justin autopilot and whether it's
just chasing ass and not evenreally worrying about the
ramifications of the long-termpossibilities with a person,
they just want this and whenthey want it.
And so that's where peoplestart to cheat and doing things
in that nature, because theywant what they want when they
want it and not looking at thebigger picture and how the
(33:23):
benefits of a woman, a job,whatever, can really have a
positive impact on you.
Because it goes back to what wewere saying it's that inner
critic, it's that judgment right, you need this.
Or even when you do have a goodwoman, right, the inner critic
shows up and it's telling youthat she's thinking this and
(33:44):
this of you which is not eventrue, and you believe it and you
go out and do some stupid stuff.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
And then you realize damn, I was wrong.
I got a question for youBecause I heard you use a few
buzzwords.
What is?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
A good woman is loyalty, trust, mindfulness,
openness.
A good woman for Mo.
Okay, so that's what I wasgoing to get at.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
So when we say good woman, it's very subjective,
because what you would considera good woman, I may not, or
there may be some overlap, butit's not going to be exactly the
same I may not, or there may besome overlap, but it's not
going to be exactly the same.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
I'm saying yeah, I'm saying a good woman for Mo you
know what I mean which is mywife, because it's those
qualities and I was very Iremember man because I was in
the single game for a long timeand then when I decided to
settle, I was very strategic inwhat I wanted in my wife and
that's what my wife is right.
(34:37):
All of those characteristics,yes, and I think it's also
important, if you don't havethat sweetheart early on,
someone that you really desire,it's okay to be strategic about
what you want in a woman and goafter it.
And because, at the end of theday, I view marriage as a
partnership and I need my wifeto be that partner that's going
(35:01):
to help elevate me and that'simportant to me.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Question.
I got a question, or not even aquestion.
I want to say my argument isthis there is no such thing as a
good woman.
There is no such thing, therecan't be right, or there is no
one definition of a good womanbecause there's no, there's no
one good definition, because Idefine what's good for mom, and
in order to meet that label.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Yes, she's a good woman?
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yes, and in order for a woman to be good for me, I
have to teach her how to treatme Right.
So it is incumbent upon me toteach whatever.
But here's the thing she alsohas to like me enough to want to
change herself.
For me Does that make sense?
If she is doing it begrudgingly, then that's not going to work.
That's not going to last longterm.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
That's part of the partnership, though that comes
with the whole communicationpiece.
Right, Because marriage is alearning process.
Right, Like when we first gotmarried, it's totally different
than where we are tonight, wherewe are today, because you go
through these bumps and thesehiccups and things like that and
(36:07):
through.
That's the learning process.
I'm learning from her and she'slearning from me.
But I'm going to, I'm going to,I'm going to slow this down
really quick because I want to.
I want my listeners to know howcan they find you?
And final thoughts that youhave to share.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Yeah for sure.
So they can find me in a coupleof places.
On Instagram, you can find meat the that's T H E R P A,
that's R, as in Robert P, as inPaul A, as in Ashley guy on
Instagram, the RPA guy.
They can also find me onYouTube at Kings Corner Podcast
(36:43):
TV.
Those are the two easiestplaces to go about reaching me.
And final thoughts, man is it'sall about self.
It's all about self.
I tell people that, like I comeacross people especially being
an influencer online which Inever meant to be here.
This is where I am today.
I have all kinds of people whosay things and it's clear that
they don't like me.
But you can't not like me.
You don't know me.
So what you're really saying isyou don't like how you feel
(37:06):
when you see me.
That's an internal problem andthat just lets me.
It reinforces the idea thateverything comes back to self.
So the best version of yourselfis what's best for everybody
else is truly what I believe,and I believe that the world
would be a better place if weall found ways to just love
ourselves more, like love yourwife, love your kids, love
everybody.
But, bro, love you, respect you, accept you, and it makes it
(37:29):
easier to love, respect andaccept everybody else and
incorporate gratitude andgratitude.
And gratitude.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
That's what we started this off with Sure.
I appreciate you, man.
Thanks for your time today.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Absolutely, thank you .
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
I encourage you to subscribe onyour favorite podcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(38:03):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook at Coach Mo
Coaching, or LinkedIn at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(38:25):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you.
So thank you and I'll see youin our next episode.
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