September 15, 2025 • 25 mins
Episode Summary
Self-doubt is one of the toughest opponents leaders, professionals, and everyday people face. In this episode of Let’s Think About It, Coach Mo and co-host Algie Mosley dig into the inner battle of self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and the “punk-ass inner critic” that keeps so many from stepping into their potential. They explore how fear often comes from cycles passed down by family, culture, and society—and how curiosity, self-awareness, and choice can break those chains. Through raw personal stories—from near-drowning to overcoming ridicule in school—Mo and Algie reveal how to transform doubt into a signal for growth. This conversation challenges listeners to take one courageous step, hush and flush the toxic thoughts, and reclaim the power of choice in the face of fear.
Key Takeaways
- Self-doubt isn’t weakness: It’s proof you care deeply about what you’re pursuing.
- Cycles of fear run deep: Family, culture, and media often pass down limiting beliefs without us realizing.
- The power of one step: Moving forward with one small action is often the antidote to paralysis.
- Hush and flush the toxins: Replace toxic self-talk with renewed thinking and conscious choice.
- Choice = power: You don’t have to let fear dictate your actions—you decide your lane.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-provoking discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with a new co-host, my
man, Algie Mosley.
What's up, bro?
We're about to do this.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh, another episode, Mo, I'm so excited about this.
Let's also be about it, right.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Man, that's what I'm talking about, bro.
Yeah, man, I think us comingtogether just talking about a
lot of different concepts,things that people struggle with
to help them get out of theirown way, and today I got a topic
for us, man, and I was thinkingabout this and I shot it to you
and I was like man, I think ouraudience would like really vibe
(02:03):
on this and I want to talkabout the inner battle when
self-doubt becomes the realopponent.
I want to get into that,because a lot of things that I
talk about on this show is abouttaming that punk ass inner
critic, and when you starttalking about self-doubt
imposter syndrome, that punk assinner critic is present and I'm
(02:26):
excited to get into thisconversation with you, brother.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's something that we all struggle with.
I don't care if you're anexecutive, I don't care if
you're just somebody that is ahousekeeper.
We all struggle with self-doubtAm I really who I say I am?
Can I really achieve the dreamsand the aspirations that I long
for?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But here's the thing when I think about self-doubt,
that's something that's nottaught in school in how to
overcome it.
Learning how to think ineducation does not exist when
you grow up in an environmentwhere, naturally, your family
members have mental limitationsin itself when I say mental
(03:08):
limitations not really knowinghow to get out of their own way
and they continue to produce thesame cycles and no one ever
really teaches you how toovercome self-doubts and fears.
What do you do?
Where do you learn this from?
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think you learn it from life experiences.
Right, and life experiences.
I don't know about you, whatenvironment you grew up in, but
a lot of mine was alwaysthinking less than instead of
greater than.
So self-doubt was always one ofmy friends, in a sense, but I
realized that self-doubt is nota sign of weakness, but it's
(03:48):
just proof that I care deeplyabout something that I'm about
to do.
So for me, I always recognizeself-doubt, and when I recognize
self-doubt, I view it as asignal that I'm pushing my
limits and I need to moveforward regardless of that
self-doubt, to overcomeself-doubt.
So I think life experiences isa good teacher.
I need to move forwardregardless of that self-doubt,
(04:10):
to overcome self-doubt.
So I think life experiences isa good teacher, mo, and I'm
going to touch on one thing inregards to self-doubt, because
self-doubt can lead you intothis state of energy.
Being a low form of energy, youstart to doubt yourself, and
one of the things that I learned, mo, is when I'm in low energy,
I try to put myself in anenvironment where there's high
energy.
If I'm having a bad moment, I'mgoing to go out and make sure I
(04:33):
create some good moments withsomebody else and just bathe in
it Happiness, and that joy.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Feel you, though, algie, but let's like really dig
a little deeper.
If you don't know what youdon't know, to get into an
environment with people withhigh energy or people who
carries a lot of positivity myculture, my awareness, my
surroundings is amongst otherswho have a lot of self-doubt and
(05:01):
limiting beliefs that theycarry Then how do someone know
to move towards what you're justtalking about?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That's a deep, dark place, man.
And how does one get to thepoint where you recognize, I
think about how did I come outof the dogma state that I was
right?
I guess for me, mo, when Ithink about it, as I surrounded
myself by people that thoughtdifferently, that longed to be
in a place where I longed to beright.
So I think I stumbled on it byhappenstance.
(05:31):
There were just a few peoplethat God brought into my life
that started speaking positivity.
And started because when I grewup I was a very shy person.
So the world was a big place,right, when I was very shy and I
was even in science classreading about science, and I
came across his name and it saidalgae.
(05:54):
Right, I was a very shy person,and so when the teacher said I
was trying to pronounce it, shesays yeah, go ahead, pronounce
it.
And when I pronounce it, allthe kids just laughed and oh, I
shrunk.
One day I was reading and Ifound out there was brown algae,
there was green algae and Ifound out that algae was a
fungus.
(06:14):
And that plural of fungus was afun guy right.
Wow, Wow.
I stumbled upon that, butreading that really opened my
eyes to understanding who Icould possibly be.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
That's great man.
When I think about my journeyaround this topic, I'm just
thankful.
I'm thankful for God for givingme the awareness to ask myself
why right?
I remember always questioningwhy do I feel the way that I
feel?
Or why does this keep happeningto me, why am I so doubtful?
(06:57):
And when I look back on it, Iwas creating self-awareness for
myself, not knowing that I wasdoing that because I'm
questioning and I challengemyself to find out better ways
to overcome it, which ultimatelyled me to professional or
personal development and readingdifferent concepts about the
mind and consciousness andthings like that actually
(07:21):
propelled me out of certainenvironments because of my
curiosity, to want to learn moreabout why I feel so doubtful.
And through those experiences Ijust naturally started gaining
more awareness about myself, towhy I feel scared or why fear is
here or why there's this doubt.
(07:43):
You start challenging it.
I almost drowned man when I wasabout 10 years old 10, 11.
Swimming in the deep end,halfway through there in the
pool.
I get tired, I panic and I gounder.
Someone tried to save me and myfriends tried to save me.
I'm pulling him under, I'm soscared and then I just blackout.
(08:04):
I wake up pumping water comingout of my mouth.
I'm in the hospital pumping thewater out the whole nine man,
the whole nine.
So I had this natural fear ofwater, right, and that's a
legitimate fear after what Iexperienced, right.
But somehow, some way, I workedthrough that to not be afraid
(08:28):
of the water anymore.
Now, don't get me wrong, Iain't trying to go swim in the
ocean.
No ocean.
I'm not just going to let youdrop me into the lake.
I'm going to be very cautiousabout that.
But when we're talking aboutthe confines of going swimming
into the pool and things likethat, I'm good Overcoming that
(08:48):
fear and being courageous totake steps forward and
overcoming the fear of water.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I just want to touch on that just a little bit.
Amazing story, Just incredible.
I can relate to that reallywell as one time I was swimming
in the ocean and the waterstarted taking me out and I
started swimming back in andevery time I swim in I would
take me back and I started goingthrough these anxieties at that
time.
And then I remembered somebodysaying swim at an angle Right.
(09:19):
And so I swam at an angle.
Can you tell me what was itthat?
When you came back, faced thatwater again, whether it was an
ocean, whether it was a pool,what were your thoughts coming
back?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Early on.
The initial thought was I don'twant that to happen again and
don't put yourself in jeopardywhere you won't be able to be
saved again.
So the option was not to go inthe deep end ever, right.
Until I truly understood how toswim right, I avoided deep
(09:52):
waters all the time.
I would even going into thepool or whatever your feet can
touch the ground.
I would even going into thepool or whatever your feet can
touch the ground.
You're good.
As a young kid, I neverofficially learned how to float
effectively.
I was just a real, a true risktaker and whatever I wanted to
do, I'll just try it and do itwith disregard of what could
(10:15):
possibly be the consequences.
When I think back of thatexperience, that's how it was.
I wasn't a good swimmer oranything.
I wanted to do what my friendswas doing, and so I put myself
out there and I think that's agreat quality to have, in a
sense of taking risk withoutnecessarily really worrying
about the consequences of it.
(10:36):
It just depends on the type ofrisk that you're taking and as a
kid, you just want to.
You just want to live.
You just want to be a part ofthe excitement of what you see
your friends are doing, and sothat's what I was.
And then, when after thathappened, it was different
because I was managing risk asit became to the water and I was
(10:56):
just this different kid.
Now I felt when I see others inthe deep end having a good time
, I was limited because of thatfear that was present and so I
was always very cautious until Istarted taking more steps
forward and becoming a betterswimmer so I can re-acclimate
(11:17):
myself into that part ofswimming.
For a good portion of time Iavoided water as a whole.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Makes sense.
I can only assume you neverwent and dove off the diving
board.
Yeah, the deep end right is abarrier for you, but getting
through that it also became agreat teacher.
So life experiences right whenwe're talking about overcoming
that inner critic.
Now that you've got theseexperiences, women, if you were
(11:49):
to go back to the pool today,would you have those same fears
and those same issues, or whatkind of thoughts would you have?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
That's a great question.
I think, when I look at myselfnow, it's calculated risk.
So here's an example we justwent to Costa Rica and I had a
beautiful time.
We was out in the ocean orwhatever.
They took us way out and weparted the boat and people could
just jump in and go swimming inthe middle of the lake and you
(12:17):
can do some snorkeling and allof that.
That question came up Mo, you'regoing to get in the water, are
you going to go swimming?
And I said no, not a sense thatI was afraid, but I said no in
the sense that I didn't feellike dealing with my inner
critic in that moment.
Right, because jumping in thewater, so I know how to float
and particularly when you're outin that water, it's salt water,
(12:39):
so it even helps you float evenmore.
Right, I was enjoying myself somuch on my vacation that I
didn't want to deal with thethought of what if this happened
.
So it was naturally easier forme to enjoy my group and
watching them swim and have agood time and videotape them and
(13:03):
be comfortable with myself andnot needing to be in the water.
I didn't feel like being in thewater and thinking what if I
didn't feel like it, because onthis trip I was enjoying myself
so much and my mind was justfree.
I was comfortable, I wasrelaxed.
(13:23):
I just didn't want to exploreif this happened or this.
And then the other thing of itis I could have put on a life
jacket and went in the water and, naturally, floated.
That was an option too, but itwas my decision and I think
that's the power of thisconversation.
The fear didn't dictate whetherI got into the ocean or the lake
(13:44):
, wherever we were.
Fear didn't dictate it.
I dictated what I wanted to doin that moment, because
everybody was like Mo, why areyou not getting in?
I said I don't want to.
I just don't want to right now,I'm just happy with killing
everybody else and things likethat.
And then later I told him aboutmy past experiences and stuff
like that with the water.
(14:06):
But I said in that moment Ididn't feel like dealing with
the what if Right, that was mychoice.
And there's been other timeswhen I've been on vacation when
I have gotten in the water and Ifloated, doing some snorkeling
or I put on a life vest and Ijump in the water.
But in that moment it was justmy choice, because the
(14:27):
comfortability that I wasexperiencing and in that moment
I felt I had power of choice andI didn't have to do it because
I felt the pressure to need to,because everybody else was doing
it and it was just my choice.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
A little bit different when you were a child
or a teenager, when you firstexperienced it because everybody
else was doing it and youlonged to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Absolutely, and that carries over into just like
everyday life.
When we, when we battering theself-doubt Right, we feel the
pressure that we have to, whenwe feel that we have to, there's
no choice involved.
Your doubt becomes the realopponent in who you're competing
(15:12):
against, and that's just realtalk.
How do you learn?
How do we learn to overcomethat?
How do we teach this to people?
How do we teach our kids how toovercome certain struggles when
it pertains to the outer world,and they have to look at
themselves and they're afraid?
How do we teach them to havethe courage to move forward?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I think it starts with where you just stated.
You have to get out of your ownway, right, and understand that
these things are just thoughts,right?
Or, as we say, false evidenceappearing real yes, necessarily
real.
Or it's the lady once said someof my worst nightmares never
(15:57):
happened.
You have experience now, right,and your experience is a great
teacher that you can rely upon,right, but what you're asking is
, how do you teach someone thatdoesn't have those experiences?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I think it's teaching them that there's two sides of
the coin.
There's the worst case scenarioand there's the best case
scenario, and you always have achoice of where you want to put
your energy.
I agree, naturally, as humans,because of social media,
advertisement, family it'salways worst case scenario.
(16:31):
That's the scenario your familyas a kid, they're trying to
protect you from getting hurt.
I fear that my son will gethurt, so I got to protect him
from XYZ.
That's worst case scenario,correct, so that becomes the
nature, right?
There's, like I mentioned,there's two sides of the coin.
(16:53):
The best case scenario, what ifit does go great?
That's right, right, and Ithink that's what's missing
teaching the other side of thecoin.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I can remember talking to my mom right, and we
were telling my mom we weregoing to go do some whitewater
rafting, right, and she was likebaby I've been listening to the
news and things ain't been goodon that water.
You shouldn't do that whitewater man, I don't want you to
do that.
And I had to stop my mom and Isaid mom, I can't live your
(17:24):
fears.
She also told me in herinfinite wisdom, which is what I
was referring to.
She always said no matter howthin the pancake, there's always
two sides, yep.
And no matter when I'm ridingmy bicycle, if I think I'm going
to crash, I start going thatdirection.
I begin to understand that mythought process, what my focus
(17:47):
is, becomes my direction.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Exactly Real talk, bro.
Real talk Because, at the endof the day, you got kids and
everyone's guilty of thisbecause you want the best Y Z,
and this happened to me, so I'mtrying to protect it from
(18:19):
happening to you.
Right?
We unconsciously put our fearsinto our kids because we're
trying to protect them, and whatthat ultimately does, over a
duration of childhood into youngadulthood, is create certain
(18:39):
doubts that we carry and fears,not knowing what's formulating
inside unconsciously, and yourparents doesn't even know that
they're doing that to you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
That's correct.
Because their parents did it,and we can't help you from being
like your parents.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
As we move forward in life and we get to adulthood,
we have certain fears that wedon't even know why.
They're fears and we feel thatwe have to react to those fears.
The reaction to the fears isavoidance.
That's correct.
So you never overcome the fearbecause you're conditioned to
avoid it.
(19:17):
That's what's been ingrainedfrom your parents to protect you
to avoid it.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
That's correct.
And what you just touched onbelieve it or not, you and me as
a black male that's racismone-on-one.
Where did I get this fear from?
Was it when mom walked up andsaw this black guy and she was
fearful?
Did I pick it up at that moment?
And then it became theself-fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Absolutely brother.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I don't even know why I have it, but I'm wrapped in
it.
I go around black people and Ijust feel uneasy.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Exactly what we're talking about, bro, and it just
transforms into various types offears and self-doubts, imposter
syndrome.
All of that it comes from notjust the culture.
It comes from your familyenvironment, it comes from your
socioeconomic status, it comesfrom the news, social media, you
(20:10):
name it.
Everything contributes towardsit.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
And guess what?
In the midst of that, the bodyhas a great, great mechanism.
When we absorb different foodson a daily basis and our body
just naturally gets rid of thosethings that are good and those
things that are bad, our mindabsorbs everything every day,
all day.
He said, she said he did this,why they did that, she said he
(20:35):
did this, why they did this,this is the recipe, etc.
But we have to, as my cliche,have to learn to hush and flush.
We have to learn to hush andflush that shit.
Or, from a biblical standpoint,to renew your mind daily.
Because if you don't hush andflush that shit Mo it reminds me
(20:58):
of the acronym for shit Superhigh in toxins and you begin
killing yourself.
You self-doubt yourself.
You not only self-doubt you,but the world around you,
because you're full of shit andyou just naturally carry it, bro
.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
You naturally carry it.
And then, as you start havingkids or family, you inject it on
them, not knowing that's whatyou're doing.
It's correct, it's allunconscious.
When your kid become youngadults and they start having
kids, they're doing what wastaught to them and then that's
(21:34):
the cycle until and this iswhere I feel I've been blessed
by God, because I always justchallenge myself and try to go
against the grain of the familydynamics I remember my wife
asking me you're so differentfrom the rest of your family,
what makes you so different?
Not that my family is bad oranything like that, but it's
(21:56):
just my thought process.
Right, go against the grain.
That's what we have controlover.
As human beings, we have theability to make decisions to be
different.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I think there was a song that said everybody got
choices, absolutely Everybodygot choices right.
And the thing about choices isit doesn't make you different,
but you are different based onthe choices and the everyday
decisions that you make on adaily basis.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Absolutely, brother, and I'm going to ask you this
question as we get ready toclose out.
Topic today was the innerbattle, when self-doubt becomes
the real opponent.
How do we be about it?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
You know, mo, as I thought about it, sometimes I
get into this poetic state.
And so, as we talk about thereal opponent, this is how we be
about it by understanding it.
So when self-doubt comes,clothed in a whisper, telling me
I am less, that my steps aretoo fragile to reach my internal
(22:59):
quest, you dress yourself aswisdom, but you are only fear in
fine clothing.
You say I am small, yet mybreath shakes the silence.
My stride echoes downgenerations, my heart beats the
thunder of those before me.
Self-doubt, you are not mymaster.
You are only the question thatgives birth to my answer, the
(23:20):
storm that awakens my sky, themirror that makes me see.
I am more than a reflection.
I am strength unspoken, a songunfinished, a promise unbroken.
And though you press against me, my forward movement is my lane
, with or without you breakingevery chain.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
My drop.
There it is.
I appreciate you, brother.
This was a fabulousconversation today and I'm going
to leave the audience with thisfear, doubt, imposter syndrome,
aka that punk ass inner critic.
It's in all of us, it shows upin all of us.
Just take one step, just onestep to challenge it, to move
(24:04):
forward.
That's it, and trust that itwill quiet down for you.
Just trust that one step.
The step is action, just oneaction to move you through
whatever that punk ass innercritic is saying and over time
you will silent that punk assinner critic.
(24:25):
And that's what I would like toleave the audience with today.
Thank you, brother.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You're welcome Mo.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(24:52):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook, at Coach Mo,
coaching or LinkedIn, at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(25:15):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you, so thank you, andI'll see you in our next
episode.
Welcome to the let's Think About it podcast, where we
embark on a journey ofthoughtfulness and personal
growth.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here to guide you through
thought-provoking discussionsthat will inspire you to unlock
your full potential.
In each episode, we'll explorea wide range of topics, from
self-discovery and mindfulnessto goal-setting and achieving
(00:33):
success.
Together, we'll challengeconventional thinking and dive
deep into the realms ofpossibility.
Whether you're looking to findclarity in your personal or
professional life, or seekingstrategies to overcome obstacles
, this podcast is your go-tosource for insightful
conversations and practicaladvice.
So find a comfortable spot,chill and let's embark on this
(00:57):
journey of self-improvementtogether.
Remember, the power oftransformation lies within you,
and together we'll uncover thetools and insights you need to
make it happen.
So let's dive in.
Welcome to another episode ofthe let's Think About it podcast
(01:20):
.
I'm your host, Coach Mo, andI'm here with a new co-host, my
man, Algie Mosley.
What's up, bro?
We're about to do this.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh, another episode, Mo, I'm so excited about this.
Let's also be about it, right.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Man, that's what I'm talking about, bro.
Yeah, man, I think us comingtogether just talking about a
lot of different concepts,things that people struggle with
to help them get out of theirown way, and today I got a topic
for us, man, and I was thinkingabout this and I shot it to you
and I was like man, I think ouraudience would like really vibe
(02:03):
on this and I want to talkabout the inner battle when
self-doubt becomes the realopponent.
I want to get into that,because a lot of things that I
talk about on this show is abouttaming that punk ass inner
critic, and when you starttalking about self-doubt
imposter syndrome, that punk assinner critic is present and I'm
(02:26):
excited to get into thisconversation with you, brother.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
It's something that we all struggle with.
I don't care if you're anexecutive, I don't care if
you're just somebody that is ahousekeeper.
We all struggle with self-doubtAm I really who I say I am?
Can I really achieve the dreamsand the aspirations that I long
for?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But here's the thing when I think about self-doubt,
that's something that's nottaught in school in how to
overcome it.
Learning how to think ineducation does not exist when
you grow up in an environmentwhere, naturally, your family
members have mental limitationsin itself when I say mental
(03:08):
limitations not really knowinghow to get out of their own way
and they continue to produce thesame cycles and no one ever
really teaches you how toovercome self-doubts and fears.
What do you do?
Where do you learn this from?
What are your thoughts aboutthat?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think you learn it from life experiences.
Right, and life experiences.
I don't know about you, whatenvironment you grew up in, but
a lot of mine was alwaysthinking less than instead of
greater than.
So self-doubt was always one ofmy friends, in a sense, but I
realized that self-doubt is nota sign of weakness, but it's
(03:48):
just proof that I care deeplyabout something that I'm about
to do.
So for me, I always recognizeself-doubt, and when I recognize
self-doubt, I view it as asignal that I'm pushing my
limits and I need to moveforward regardless of that
self-doubt, to overcomeself-doubt.
So I think life experiences isa good teacher.
I need to move forwardregardless of that self-doubt,
(04:10):
to overcome self-doubt.
So I think life experiences isa good teacher, mo, and I'm
going to touch on one thing inregards to self-doubt, because
self-doubt can lead you intothis state of energy.
Being a low form of energy, youstart to doubt yourself, and
one of the things that I learned, mo, is when I'm in low energy,
I try to put myself in anenvironment where there's high
energy.
If I'm having a bad moment, I'mgoing to go out and make sure I
(04:33):
create some good moments withsomebody else and just bathe in
it Happiness, and that joy.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Feel you, though, algie, but let's like really dig
a little deeper.
If you don't know what youdon't know, to get into an
environment with people withhigh energy or people who
carries a lot of positivity myculture, my awareness, my
surroundings is amongst otherswho have a lot of self-doubt and
(05:01):
limiting beliefs that theycarry Then how do someone know
to move towards what you're justtalking about?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
That's a deep, dark place, man.
And how does one get to thepoint where you recognize, I
think about how did I come outof the dogma state that I was
right?
I guess for me, mo, when Ithink about it, as I surrounded
myself by people that thoughtdifferently, that longed to be
in a place where I longed to beright.
So I think I stumbled on it byhappenstance.
(05:31):
There were just a few peoplethat God brought into my life
that started speaking positivity.
And started because when I grewup I was a very shy person.
So the world was a big place,right, when I was very shy and I
was even in science classreading about science, and I
came across his name and it saidalgae.
(05:54):
Right, I was a very shy person,and so when the teacher said I
was trying to pronounce it, shesays yeah, go ahead, pronounce
it.
And when I pronounce it, allthe kids just laughed and oh, I
shrunk.
One day I was reading and Ifound out there was brown algae,
there was green algae and Ifound out that algae was a
fungus.
(06:14):
And that plural of fungus was afun guy right.
Wow, Wow.
I stumbled upon that, butreading that really opened my
eyes to understanding who Icould possibly be.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
That's great man.
When I think about my journeyaround this topic, I'm just
thankful.
I'm thankful for God for givingme the awareness to ask myself
why right?
I remember always questioningwhy do I feel the way that I
feel?
Or why does this keep happeningto me, why am I so doubtful?
(06:57):
And when I look back on it, Iwas creating self-awareness for
myself, not knowing that I wasdoing that because I'm
questioning and I challengemyself to find out better ways
to overcome it, which ultimatelyled me to professional or
personal development and readingdifferent concepts about the
mind and consciousness andthings like that actually
(07:21):
propelled me out of certainenvironments because of my
curiosity, to want to learn moreabout why I feel so doubtful.
And through those experiences Ijust naturally started gaining
more awareness about myself, towhy I feel scared or why fear is
here or why there's this doubt.
(07:43):
You start challenging it.
I almost drowned man when I wasabout 10 years old 10, 11.
Swimming in the deep end,halfway through there in the
pool.
I get tired, I panic and I gounder.
Someone tried to save me and myfriends tried to save me.
I'm pulling him under, I'm soscared and then I just blackout.
(08:04):
I wake up pumping water comingout of my mouth.
I'm in the hospital pumping thewater out the whole nine man,
the whole nine.
So I had this natural fear ofwater, right, and that's a
legitimate fear after what Iexperienced, right.
But somehow, some way, I workedthrough that to not be afraid
(08:28):
of the water anymore.
Now, don't get me wrong, Iain't trying to go swim in the
ocean.
No ocean.
I'm not just going to let youdrop me into the lake.
I'm going to be very cautiousabout that.
But when we're talking aboutthe confines of going swimming
into the pool and things likethat, I'm good Overcoming that
(08:48):
fear and being courageous totake steps forward and
overcoming the fear of water.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I just want to touch on that just a little bit.
Amazing story, Just incredible.
I can relate to that reallywell as one time I was swimming
in the ocean and the waterstarted taking me out and I
started swimming back in andevery time I swim in I would
take me back and I started goingthrough these anxieties at that
time.
And then I remembered somebodysaying swim at an angle Right.
(09:19):
And so I swam at an angle.
Can you tell me what was itthat?
When you came back, faced thatwater again, whether it was an
ocean, whether it was a pool,what were your thoughts coming
back?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Early on.
The initial thought was I don'twant that to happen again and
don't put yourself in jeopardywhere you won't be able to be
saved again.
So the option was not to go inthe deep end ever, right.
Until I truly understood how toswim right, I avoided deep
(09:52):
waters all the time.
I would even going into thepool or whatever your feet can
touch the ground.
I would even going into thepool or whatever your feet can
touch the ground.
You're good.
As a young kid, I neverofficially learned how to float
effectively.
I was just a real, a true risktaker and whatever I wanted to
do, I'll just try it and do itwith disregard of what could
(10:15):
possibly be the consequences.
When I think back of thatexperience, that's how it was.
I wasn't a good swimmer oranything.
I wanted to do what my friendswas doing, and so I put myself
out there and I think that's agreat quality to have, in a
sense of taking risk withoutnecessarily really worrying
about the consequences of it.
(10:36):
It just depends on the type ofrisk that you're taking and as a
kid, you just want to.
You just want to live.
You just want to be a part ofthe excitement of what you see
your friends are doing, and sothat's what I was.
And then, when after thathappened, it was different
because I was managing risk asit became to the water and I was
(10:56):
just this different kid.
Now I felt when I see others inthe deep end having a good time
, I was limited because of thatfear that was present and so I
was always very cautious until Istarted taking more steps
forward and becoming a betterswimmer so I can re-acclimate
(11:17):
myself into that part ofswimming.
For a good portion of time Iavoided water as a whole.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Makes sense.
I can only assume you neverwent and dove off the diving
board.
Yeah, the deep end right is abarrier for you, but getting
through that it also became agreat teacher.
So life experiences right whenwe're talking about overcoming
that inner critic.
Now that you've got theseexperiences, women, if you were
(11:49):
to go back to the pool today,would you have those same fears
and those same issues, or whatkind of thoughts would you have?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
That's a great question.
I think, when I look at myselfnow, it's calculated risk.
So here's an example we justwent to Costa Rica and I had a
beautiful time.
We was out in the ocean orwhatever.
They took us way out and weparted the boat and people could
just jump in and go swimming inthe middle of the lake and you
(12:17):
can do some snorkeling and allof that.
That question came up Mo, you'regoing to get in the water, are
you going to go swimming?
And I said no, not a sense thatI was afraid, but I said no in
the sense that I didn't feellike dealing with my inner
critic in that moment.
Right, because jumping in thewater, so I know how to float
and particularly when you're outin that water, it's salt water,
(12:39):
so it even helps you float evenmore.
Right, I was enjoying myself somuch on my vacation that I
didn't want to deal with thethought of what if this happened
.
So it was naturally easier forme to enjoy my group and
watching them swim and have agood time and videotape them and
(13:03):
be comfortable with myself andnot needing to be in the water.
I didn't feel like being in thewater and thinking what if I
didn't feel like it, because onthis trip I was enjoying myself
so much and my mind was justfree.
I was comfortable, I wasrelaxed.
(13:23):
I just didn't want to exploreif this happened or this.
And then the other thing of itis I could have put on a life
jacket and went in the water and, naturally, floated.
That was an option too, but itwas my decision and I think
that's the power of thisconversation.
The fear didn't dictate whetherI got into the ocean or the lake
(13:44):
, wherever we were.
Fear didn't dictate it.
I dictated what I wanted to doin that moment, because
everybody was like Mo, why areyou not getting in?
I said I don't want to.
I just don't want to right now,I'm just happy with killing
everybody else and things likethat.
And then later I told him aboutmy past experiences and stuff
like that with the water.
(14:06):
But I said in that moment Ididn't feel like dealing with
the what if Right, that was mychoice.
And there's been other timeswhen I've been on vacation when
I have gotten in the water and Ifloated, doing some snorkeling
or I put on a life vest and Ijump in the water.
But in that moment it was justmy choice, because the
(14:27):
comfortability that I wasexperiencing and in that moment
I felt I had power of choice andI didn't have to do it because
I felt the pressure to need to,because everybody else was doing
it and it was just my choice.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
A little bit different when you were a child
or a teenager, when you firstexperienced it because everybody
else was doing it and youlonged to do it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Absolutely, and that carries over into just like
everyday life.
When we, when we battering theself-doubt Right, we feel the
pressure that we have to, whenwe feel that we have to, there's
no choice involved.
Your doubt becomes the realopponent in who you're competing
(15:12):
against, and that's just realtalk.
How do you learn?
How do we learn to overcomethat?
How do we teach this to people?
How do we teach our kids how toovercome certain struggles when
it pertains to the outer world,and they have to look at
themselves and they're afraid?
How do we teach them to havethe courage to move forward?
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I think it starts with where you just stated.
You have to get out of your ownway, right, and understand that
these things are just thoughts,right?
Or, as we say, false evidenceappearing real yes, necessarily
real.
Or it's the lady once said someof my worst nightmares never
(15:57):
happened.
You have experience now, right,and your experience is a great
teacher that you can rely upon,right, but what you're asking is
, how do you teach someone thatdoesn't have those experiences?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I think it's teaching them that there's two sides of
the coin.
There's the worst case scenarioand there's the best case
scenario, and you always have achoice of where you want to put
your energy.
I agree, naturally, as humans,because of social media,
advertisement, family it'salways worst case scenario.
(16:31):
That's the scenario your familyas a kid, they're trying to
protect you from getting hurt.
I fear that my son will gethurt, so I got to protect him
from XYZ.
That's worst case scenario,correct, so that becomes the
nature, right?
There's, like I mentioned,there's two sides of the coin.
(16:53):
The best case scenario, what ifit does go great?
That's right, right, and Ithink that's what's missing
teaching the other side of thecoin.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I can remember talking to my mom right, and we
were telling my mom we weregoing to go do some whitewater
rafting, right, and she was likebaby I've been listening to the
news and things ain't been goodon that water.
You shouldn't do that whitewater man, I don't want you to
do that.
And I had to stop my mom and Isaid mom, I can't live your
(17:24):
fears.
She also told me in herinfinite wisdom, which is what I
was referring to.
She always said no matter howthin the pancake, there's always
two sides, yep.
And no matter when I'm ridingmy bicycle, if I think I'm going
to crash, I start going thatdirection.
I begin to understand that mythought process, what my focus
(17:47):
is, becomes my direction.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Exactly Real talk, bro.
Real talk Because, at the endof the day, you got kids and
everyone's guilty of thisbecause you want the best Y Z,
and this happened to me, so I'mtrying to protect it from
(18:19):
happening to you.
Right?
We unconsciously put our fearsinto our kids because we're
trying to protect them, and whatthat ultimately does, over a
duration of childhood into youngadulthood, is create certain
(18:39):
doubts that we carry and fears,not knowing what's formulating
inside unconsciously, and yourparents doesn't even know that
they're doing that to you.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
That's correct.
Because their parents did it,and we can't help you from being
like your parents.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
As we move forward in life and we get to adulthood,
we have certain fears that wedon't even know why.
They're fears and we feel thatwe have to react to those fears.
The reaction to the fears isavoidance.
That's correct.
So you never overcome the fearbecause you're conditioned to
avoid it.
(19:17):
That's what's been ingrainedfrom your parents to protect you
to avoid it.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
That's correct.
And what you just touched onbelieve it or not, you and me as
a black male that's racismone-on-one.
Where did I get this fear from?
Was it when mom walked up andsaw this black guy and she was
fearful?
Did I pick it up at that moment?
And then it became theself-fulfilling prophecy.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Absolutely brother.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I don't even know why I have it, but I'm wrapped in
it.
I go around black people and Ijust feel uneasy.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Exactly what we're talking about, bro, and it just
transforms into various types offears and self-doubts, imposter
syndrome.
All of that it comes from notjust the culture.
It comes from your familyenvironment, it comes from your
socioeconomic status, it comesfrom the news, social media, you
(20:10):
name it.
Everything contributes towardsit.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
And guess what?
In the midst of that, the bodyhas a great, great mechanism.
When we absorb different foodson a daily basis and our body
just naturally gets rid of thosethings that are good and those
things that are bad, our mindabsorbs everything every day,
all day.
He said, she said he did this,why they did that, she said he
(20:35):
did this, why they did this,this is the recipe, etc.
But we have to, as my cliche,have to learn to hush and flush.
We have to learn to hush andflush that shit.
Or, from a biblical standpoint,to renew your mind daily.
Because if you don't hush andflush that shit Mo it reminds me
(20:58):
of the acronym for shit Superhigh in toxins and you begin
killing yourself.
You self-doubt yourself.
You not only self-doubt you,but the world around you,
because you're full of shit andyou just naturally carry it, bro
.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
You naturally carry it.
And then, as you start havingkids or family, you inject it on
them, not knowing that's whatyou're doing.
It's correct, it's allunconscious.
When your kid become youngadults and they start having
kids, they're doing what wastaught to them and then that's
(21:34):
the cycle until and this iswhere I feel I've been blessed
by God, because I always justchallenge myself and try to go
against the grain of the familydynamics I remember my wife
asking me you're so differentfrom the rest of your family,
what makes you so different?
Not that my family is bad oranything like that, but it's
(21:56):
just my thought process.
Right, go against the grain.
That's what we have controlover.
As human beings, we have theability to make decisions to be
different.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I think there was a song that said everybody got
choices, absolutely Everybodygot choices right.
And the thing about choices isit doesn't make you different,
but you are different based onthe choices and the everyday
decisions that you make on adaily basis.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Absolutely, brother, and I'm going to ask you this
question as we get ready toclose out.
Topic today was the innerbattle, when self-doubt becomes
the real opponent.
How do we be about it?
Speaker 2 (22:38):
You know, mo, as I thought about it, sometimes I
get into this poetic state.
And so, as we talk about thereal opponent, this is how we be
about it by understanding it.
So when self-doubt comes,clothed in a whisper, telling me
I am less, that my steps aretoo fragile to reach my internal
(22:59):
quest, you dress yourself aswisdom, but you are only fear in
fine clothing.
You say I am small, yet mybreath shakes the silence.
My stride echoes downgenerations, my heart beats the
thunder of those before me.
Self-doubt, you are not mymaster.
You are only the question thatgives birth to my answer, the
(23:20):
storm that awakens my sky, themirror that makes me see.
I am more than a reflection.
I am strength unspoken, a songunfinished, a promise unbroken.
And though you press against me, my forward movement is my lane
, with or without you breakingevery chain.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
My drop.
There it is.
I appreciate you, brother.
This was a fabulousconversation today and I'm going
to leave the audience with thisfear, doubt, imposter syndrome,
aka that punk ass inner critic.
It's in all of us, it shows upin all of us.
Just take one step, just onestep to challenge it, to move
(24:04):
forward.
That's it, and trust that itwill quiet down for you.
Just trust that one step.
The step is action, just oneaction to move you through
whatever that punk ass innercritic is saying and over time
you will silent that punk assinner critic.
(24:25):
And that's what I would like toleave the audience with today.
Thank you, brother.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
You're welcome Mo.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of let's
Think About it.
Your time and attention aregreatly appreciated.
If you found value in today'sdiscussion, I encourage you to
subscribe on your favoritepodcast platform.
Remember, the journey ofself-improvement is ongoing and
I'm here to support you everystep of the way.
(24:52):
Connect with me on social mediafor updates and insights.
You can find me on Instagramand Facebook, at Coach Mo,
coaching or LinkedIn, at MauriceMabry, or visit my website at
mauricemabrycom for exclusivecontent.
Until next time, keepreflecting, keep growing and,
(25:15):
most importantly, keep believingin yourself.
Remember, the most effectiveway to do it is to do it
Together.
We're making incredible stridestoward a better and more
empowered you, so thank you, andI'll see you in our next
episode.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.