The mental load of motherhood is more than just a to-do list. It is the invisible, relentless work of running a household, managing family life, and carrying the emotional weight of it all. And for moms already navigating postpartum depression or anxiety, this load can feel crushing.
In this episode of Let’s Thrive Postpartum, Kelly Siebold sits down with Laura Cunningham, CEO and co-founder of Ava, an AI-powered household concierge designed to lighten the cognitive and emotional burden of modern parenting.
Together, they unpack why the mental load feels so heavy, how decades of societal change have stacked expectations on mothers, and how technology can give moms back time, energy, and peace of mind.
You’ll learn:
- What the mental load really is and how it impacts maternal mental health, relationships, and child wellbeing.
- How societal and cultural shifts over the past 75 years have made modern motherhood overwhelming.
- Why simply asking for help isn’t enough and how to rethink support systems.
- How AI tools like Ava can take real tasks off your plate and help you reclaim your time.
You’ll leave with validation, hope, and practical ideas for reducing your mental load so you can focus on what matters most.
Learn more about Ava at hiava.xyz.
Support is just one click away - check out these additional resources designed to support your postpartum mental health:
- Download our free Postpartum Mental Health Plan https://wethrivepostpartum.com/postpartum-plan/
- Learn more about Thrive Postpartum’s virtual support for pregnant and postpartum moms, including virtual support groups, education, expert-led events, and a supportive community of moms who understand your journey https://wethrivepostpartum.com/join
- Email us with a question or postpartum topic you want us to discuss at podcast@wethrivepostpartum.com
- Hit subscribe to never miss an episode.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome to Let's ThrivePostpartum, where we tackle
postpartum depression andanxiety.
Head on, guiding you back toyourself.
Join Kelly Seabold, founder ofThrive Postpartum and Ashley
Moore, a maternal mental healththerapist.
Through honesty and laughter, weshare expert advice and real
stories.
(00:25):
While not therapy or medicaladvice, you'll find education,
support and hope.
Welcome to the village.
Let's thrive postpartum.
Kelly Siebold (00:38):
Hi, and welcome back to Let's Thrive Postpartum.
I'm Kelly.
if you are a mom who isnavigating that season of
anxiety, depression, or just thedaily overwhelm that hits often
after having a child, I want youto know that you are not
imagining it.
And this is the episode for you,that invisible mental load of
(00:58):
caring for a child and oftenthing running a household is
very real.
It's relentless and it oftenlands hardest on us moms.
when your brain is alreadyoverwhelmed or stressed, even
asking for help can just feellike one more thing on your
to-do list.
today we're gonna explore howtechnology.
When built with empathy canactually lighten your mental
(01:20):
load and help alleviate anxietyand overwhelm that us new moms
and even seasoned moms reallyfeel.
we're gonna talk about whatmental load really does to our
wellbeing.
How did we actually get here asa society in the first place,
and why is this all on us?
how tools like Ava that you'regonna hear about can offer real
support when you need it most.
(01:42):
moms, I am thrilled to introduceto you our expert guest today,
Laura Cunningham.
is the CEO and co-founder ofAva, and it's an AI powered
household concierge built toreduce the mental load of
modern.
Parenthood.
as a seasoned product leader andmom of two, Laura has spent over
15 years building at theintersection of education, deep
(02:05):
technology and ai.
Laura launched Ava afterconfronting that invisible,
relentless demands of running ahousehold while also leading AI
strategy at a deep tech companyand realizing there were no real
tools to design to help.
Ava is her answer.
It's a domain specific.
A gen AI that acts as ahousehold, COO, designed to
(02:30):
anticipate and manage familylogistics with empathy and
intelligence.
And on top of all that, sheloves running, cooking,
traveling, and is just reallypassionate about building a tech
that is truly in service ofhuman wellbeing.
Laura, thank you so much forbeing here with us
Laura Cunningham (02:47):
Thank you for having me.
It's awesome to be here.
Kelly Siebold (02:50):
Of course, we talk so much on this podcast
about all the things that momsneed help with and the mental
load and the feeling that wehave to do it all.
I am thrilled that you and Avaand the company that you're
building are doing somethingwith technology to help lighten
this, where technology sometimesoften feels like it's adding to
(03:10):
our stress, right?
Les, how do we use it in theright way?
Can we first start off bytalking about what is mental
load?
I think a lot of us kind of knowthat feeling, but what really is
it and what are the impacts onmother and child?
Laura Cunningham (03:26):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So if we think about what is thedefinition of the mental load?
it's really the cognitive andthe emotional work that is
involved in managing ahousehold, a family, and All of
those related responsibilities.
And really what we see is thatthose responsibilities are often
very overlooked, societally.
(03:47):
and they are alsodisproportionately carried by
women usually in relationships.
and so really think of this asall of the thinking and planning
and organizing and overseeing oftasks, not just the physical
execution of labor, right?
So that's really that idea ofthe mental load.
And unfortunately the impact,you know, on moms of this mental
(04:12):
load is pretty significant.
So, both from an economicstandpoint, but then also sort
of societally, what we see isthat on average mothers in the
US spend up to 15 hours a weekon this unpaid household labor,
which, and this.
This blows me away, which isthat's actually$1.25 trillion of
(04:34):
lost economic value if we wereto just sort of equate those
hours to sort of from a moneystandpoint.
and that is roughly theequivalent of the GDP of Spain.
So that's
Kelly Siebold (04:43):
Okay, wait, we are spinning the GDP of Spain on
unpaid labor.
Just thinking about all theextra stuff that we have to do
to take care in the mental loadof running a
Laura Cunningham (04:54):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (04:57):
That is
Laura Cunningham (04:57):
Yes.
Kelly Siebold (04:58):
What do you put it in that
Laura Cunningham (04:59):
Yes, it's totally crazy.
and then the other sort of statsthat I find also equally as
crazy, are that unfortunatelythis kind of emotional and sort
of cognitive labor that, so manyof us do, can really lead to,
spiking rates of stress.
And burnout and depression,which then actually have impacts
(05:21):
on both childhood wellbeing.
So the kids of, a mom who isdeeply stressed out and
depressed.
and then also on yourrelationship on your romantic
relationships on how you show upin society and with your friends
and, sort of your, your abilityto have, be part of, sort of
social groups, et cetera.
(05:42):
Just some stats here, whichagain, blow me away.
so a child who has a mom who'skind of suffering from, from
these, from these impacts has a30 to 50% increased risk of,
developing emotional,behavioral, or cognitive issues,
which is pretty, again, prettystartling, right?
And that mom, that same momwho's, experiencing these things
(06:04):
also has a 50 to 60% likelihood,increased likelihood of divorce.
So that, all of those thingsright, are, it's it's not, it's
not just the money part, it'sactually our relationship.
Kelly Siebold (06:16):
no.
And that poor mom who's alreadystruggling, who's already
overwhelmed, who now's child mayhave more impacts, their
marriage is
Laura Cunningham (06:23):
Yeah.
Kelly Siebold (06:23):
I mean, the, just the constant snowball effect to
that mom is
Laura Cunningham (06:28):
Totally.
And then the final kind of statthat I will leave you with,
which also really kind of blewme away, is that this burden of
modern parenting andparticularly sort of modern
momming is becoming such anacute issue that, I.
The Pew Research did a study in2023, and found that 47% of
(06:51):
women under the age of 50actually said that they are
unlikely to become mothers.
They don't want to even enterinto this journey, right?
So again, pretty, prettystartling.
Almost half of women are sayingthat they don't wanna take on
this responsibility basically.
Kelly Siebold (07:10):
I understand because there's not a lot set up
to support moms in this phaseand for all of us who.
Are listening, and if you'regoing through postpartum
depression or anxiety or justthat overwhelm, this overload
and this mental load that we'recarrying really can exacerbate
or lead to postpartumdepression.
So don't have a great stat.
(07:30):
I know there's a ton out there,but I loved this article from
parents.com, by Hannah Naoko,and she just talks about how
mental load connects topostpartum depression in many
ways.
she said that new mothers whoare often primary caregivers
carry the bulk of the mentalload, making sure everyone
else's needs are met.
This leads to chronic stress,emotional exhaustion, and
(07:51):
increases your overall risk.
So for all of us who are alreadyon the edge, anything that we
can do to reduce our mentalload, as you mentioned, is not
only gonna help us, but it'sgonna help our relationship.
It's gonna help our child.
There's a lot that.
We can do, and I don't feel likesociety was really set up to
support moms where we are rightnow in today's world.
(08:14):
How do you feel about that?
Laura Cunningham (08:15):
Yeah, I mean, I absolutely agree.
I think that there's a lot,there's, sort of a couple of
things that we really need to bethinking about as we move
forward.
And I'm excited to dive into thehistory of how did we get here
and how do we move forward?
why are we in this, the placewhere we are?
Kelly Siebold (08:32):
Yes.
Let's dive into that because youknow, you think back, growing
up, our grandmothers had a verydifferent experience than we
did.
The internet was not a thing.
You often lived in close groupfamilies.
mothers probably had a differentexperience.
And so when you're, they'relooking at you saying, what's
happening?
Why are you feeling this?
They are growing up.
(08:53):
Raise children in a differenttype of society than we did.
So let's, can you help us figureout, how do we get here?
Laura Cunningham (08:59):
Yeah.
Kelly Siebold (09:00):
what brought us to this moment in
Laura Cunningham (09:01):
Yeah, totally.
my background, I have a degreein history, I feel please,
please stop me if I am going toodeep on any, in any of these.
Sort of areas.
But I found it truly fascinatingto go through kind of the last
75 years of parenting in Americareally to try to answer this
question of, how do we get tothe place where we are?
Which my belief is that we'resort of in a crisis of modern
(09:24):
parenting, based on all of theexpectations that exist.
sort of in, in the broader sortof cultural societal world and
that we put on ourselves.
And so how did we get here?
Right.
so I think the major headline,is that in every era since the
1950s, we have really addedexpectations to what a parent is
(09:45):
supposed to do, particularlywhat a mother is supposed to do.
And we have never actuallylifted the old expectations, so
we've just continued to add.
Never removed.
and these expectations weredriven by huge macroeconomic
factors like wars and the civilrights movement and, you know,
(10:06):
recession.
So really big things that areout of the control of an
individual person.
So I think that's the other.
Piece that I think is importantas we today think about our own
sort of, charting our owncourse.
and there's a lot that, hashappened that has been out of
our control.
Right.
Kelly Siebold (10:23):
And I think that's good to stop and just
note.
'cause if you know, when you'refeeling overwhelmed, you're
like, what am I doing?
Why am I
Laura Cunningham (10:29):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:29):
How can I do it?
But you're not doing
Laura Cunningham (10:31):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:32):
There are things that have happened who brought
us here with society that aren'tyour
Laura Cunningham (10:36):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:37):
And I think, and just knowing that a good first
step to
Laura Cunningham (10:41):
A thousand percent.
Yes.
and of course, you know, we allhave individual, ability to take
steps in different directionsand, and do that.
But I do think it's reallyimportant to say like, okay,
it's not our fault that we'rehere.
I did a deep dive into sort ofwhat was happening into each
decade and what were the ex.
So just to sort of give you asense of what was going on.
(11:02):
so I started in the 1950s, sothis was really the US
recovering from World War ii.
and there what we find is thatpublic messaging is really
re-framing kind of the women's.
Patriotic duty away fromworking, which a lot of women
actually had to go into theworkforce during World War II
(11:23):
because all the men werefighting.
'cause we needed bullets and weneeded all these other things,
right?
This is the Rosie the Riveterera.
so public messaging then shiftswith all of these men coming
back from war, and so thatveterans can actually reclaim
those jobs, right?
They want, they actually wantwomen out of the workforce
because, they need.
Jobs for men to do.
(11:43):
there is really this focus onnow, no, actually your job is at
home.
So moving from Ro Rosie theRiveter to June Cleaver is like
the big sort of move in thatdecade.
Kelly Siebold (11:55):
You still think of the 50 fifties housewife like
that
Laura Cunningham (11:57):
exactly.
Kelly Siebold (11:58):
from TVs when you're watching old movies.
The fifties Housewife is a
Laura Cunningham (12:02):
Exactly.
And like you're bringing upexactly like that ideal kind of
woman right then, which is, thesuburban perfect housewife wife.
Right?
And a lot of that is actuallydriven also by the economic
drivers of.
the GI bill and like the rise ofcheap suburban homes.
And so really wanting to drivepeople to these like, new
(12:24):
developments in the suburbs.
So again, things that are likemacro happening, right?
really creating the setting fora single breadwinner, a single
car household where mom stayshome and kids are, you know,
playing in the yard and gettingalong and, you know, everything
is like clean and perfect.
and the other piece I think thatwas so interesting about the
fifties is that this ideal isreally promoted culturally
(12:47):
because there's this need forlike psychological stability
after what was really a globallytraumatic period of World War
ii, like rationing, you know, somuch death, so much destruction.
I think this idea of this personas being something that is, that
feels very safe, is somethingthat's very interesting as well.
(13:07):
And then also really politicallyuseful because, politicians were
using this housewife ideal asthe symbol for American, You
know, having like all of this,money and success, this is the
ideal of what we are.
And this is in stark contrast towhat's happening, from a
communist standpoint given theCold War.
So this is also sort of apolitically motivated, kind of
(13:29):
like ideal.
but what we see also is thatunderneath this very like shiny,
smiley ex.
Terri, there's some hidden, realdiscontent and also many, many
people obviously are veryexcluded from this ideal, right?
And so Betty Fried, I thinkprobably many, many people know
her work in the FeminineMystique, but she starts writing
(13:50):
about this very pervasiveproblem that has no name.
So it's really kind of the firstinstance of this, mental load
being referenced, although notreally spoken about generally
and culturally.
so that's the fifties, enter thesixties and seventies, which is
really the rise of the civilrights movement, the second wave
of feminism.
(14:11):
and really also, a rising costof living.
We have.
Really spiking inflation duringthat time.
and then also I thinkinterestingly, the slow
acceptance and introduction ofthe birth control pill.
women are able to make, morespecific decisions about do they
want a family and how, when dothey want that family?
(14:33):
And so this is leading to adifferent kind of American mom,
which is really having this dualrole as earner and caregiver.
So this is that sort of thesixties, seventies.
again, what we see here isrolled expansion, right?
It's you're moving from justbeing the caregiver to also
being an earner.
but you're not sheddinganything.
Nothing.
You're not giving anything up.
(14:53):
You're just adding, And thenthis is also the era where for
the first time we see expertsarising in childhood
development.
So this is the era of Dr.
Spock and Montessori and theintroduction of Headstart and
really the start of that focuson child enrichment and the
belief that what you do asparents actually has a big
(15:15):
impact on your kids and theirdevelopment.
60 seventies, we have thisexpansion.
Then in the eighties what we seeis this rise of kind of the
supermom who is really anidealized woman who can have it
all.
I, I always think about, thewoman who is in her blazer with
the shoulder pads and then alsoholding a baby on one hip and,
(15:37):
just able to Succeedprofessionally and be very
ambitious professionally.
but then also relentlesslyorganized and kind of
overextended, and behind that,why are we suddenly seeing this
focus on, kind of ambitious,professional women, is that the
macroeconomic reality is thatthere was.
Really, really highunemployment.
(15:58):
So there's rising unemploymentand stagnation of wages.
And so the reality was a singlepaycheck no longer cut it.
you had to have a dual income,family from, most people.
and so that sort of model, the1950s model.
We see that really cracking inthe 1980s.
and then simultaneously therewere also these deep tax cuts
(16:21):
and, very sharp reductions inkind of social services.
So it meant that a lot of momshad to actually pick up the
slack arranging more informalchildcare, working odd shifts.
so this is the era of, thelatchkey kid, is, that we all.
Remember.
but that's because, of, of someof these sort of macroeconomic
factors that were happening.
(16:42):
So kind of the, the long andshort of it is that the mom's
workbook became essential to thehousehold.
while some of these policyrollbacks and job market shifts
meant that, the domesticworkload just.
It's basically stayed the sameif not getting bigger.
So again, expansion ofresponsibility, expansion of
expectations, not reduction inany way.
(17:04):
and then we get to the ninetiesand the two thousands.
and this, I would say is reallythe era of kind of intensive
parenting.
and then if you do a little bitof research as well, there's
these mommy wars, whichunfortunately kind of pit stay
at home moms versus working momsagainst each other, which is
obviously unfortunate.
Everyone is just kind of doingtheir best.
But this is really whenparenting becomes a high stakes,
(17:27):
full contact sport almost,where, moms are expected to
become kind of project managersof their kids' childhood.
and it's really the birth ofthis information overload and
kind of comparison culture aswell.
So the net effect is that weagain, add another layer of.
Expectations, which is not onlyare you supposed to excel
(17:49):
professionally and be superambitious, and also keep a
spotless home and be a wonderfulhomemaker, but you also have to
now ensure that your child ismaximally enriched right at all
times.
And eating nothing but organickale chips.
that's, this expectation.
Kelly Siebold (18:06):
different sports that you've got to get to and
all the
Laura Cunningham (18:09):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (18:09):
perfect while
Laura Cunningham (18:10):
Exactly, exactly.
So that really happened, kind ofthat pivot from the nineties
into the early two thousands.
And then really the 2010s untilnow, I would say is really the
era of hyper acceleration oftech, and of social media where
we've become kind of hyperconnected and always on, but
also kind of more performative.
(18:31):
So we have this idea of ThePinterest perfect.
pressure of am I doing enoughand am I good enough?
And oh my gosh, this other momis doing it so much better than
me.
'cause I can see her Instagramreel.
all of that is sort of shovedinto our face, and then from an
economy standpoint, this wasalso the decade, the, the 2008,
(18:52):
nine, the great recessionhappened.
and so millions of people gotlaid off, particularly in male
dominated sectors.
And so again, so many momsearnings became kind of this
economic lifeline.
and culturally it was also theera of lean in and becoming a
girl boss.
but then also a child safety andkind of enrichment arms race.
(19:15):
So really just taking everythingthat was happening in the 2010s
or the two thousands and likespotlighting it and making it
even more competitive and moresort of out there via these
social media, avenues.
and then societally, we also seean escalating cost of childcare
and housing.
So this is the first decade Iwould say, The 2010s to the, to
(19:37):
2020, when childcare fees startto actually outpace wages, so
that, then that adds a whole newsort of avenue of questioning,
does it even make sense for meto work if my, if all of my
wages are going to childcare.
you know, I still have thisexpectation and I like working,
so there's a lot going on here.
(19:58):
Again, that's happening becauseof some of these macro economic
factors.
I would say thankfully, I thinkthis is also the era where the
discourse about the mental loadis actually starting to go
mainstream.
So we're starting to talk aboutit.
We have a language aroundinvisible labor.
and I think that really again,is something that's so, so
(20:18):
important, is to expose it,right?
It, it should not be thisunnamed feeling that we have.
It should be something that wetalk about and that we support
each other with.
so kind of in some, if I thinkabout this past, the past 75
years, it's actually becomereally clear why we are feeling
this feeling of overload andoverwhelm.
(20:39):
'cause we're carrying all ofthese expectations that have
just been added up for over thedecades.
So we're supposed to stillnurture the 1950s work, the
1980s enrich the two thousandsand be.
Always on, the digital kind ofnative people that we are, but
our energy and our time arefinite.
So you can't possibly be doingall those things well, all of
(21:02):
the time.
of course this leads to thenquestions around well, where do
we go from here?
what do we do about this nowthat we know how we got here,
what do we do?
You know?
Kelly Siebold (21:11):
Exactly, and I think that is so fascinating.
'cause you're right, it did justkeep piling on.
And I guess because we areparents in this age, right?
We've seen our mothers yet we'veseen our grandmothers.
But being a mom in the 2020s andkind of going through this era
post COVID, where we also lostso much of our society being
able to be together for us wherewe lived.
(21:31):
So many daycare and childcare,closed all their centers because
they couldn't support or keepthem.
So Our childcare is even harderto find, which makes it more
expensive.
And you're right, adding on thefeeling of social media and on
top of all the expectations,being able to instantly judge
someone on your phone anytimeyou want to and be able to say,
(21:52):
I feel like I'm failing.
Even though that image is notreal.
It's one moment of the bestmoment of that person's day,
still have this ability to sayin a new way.
I'm not doing what I think Ishould or what society thinks
I'm should versus just singingon TV or on the news.
It's always with you.
those are some very bigproblems, that got us here.
(22:14):
Personally, you and I can'tchange the macro problems,
right?
It is where society is and thatcould be hours of a podcast of
what can we do at a macro levelto help improve it for moms, but
what can we do now to help ussingularly.
Manage this mental load.
And I know we're talking a lotabout technology'cause
(22:34):
technology's always kind of beenseen as a bad thing.
When you start talking aboutsocial media and what it can do
good and bad, how can we startleveraging technology for good
in this
Laura Cunningham (22:43):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So I see there being really two.
Path forward here.
The first, I think it isimportant to talk a little bit
about culturally and societally,and of course, to your point, we
can't change everything that'shappening from a macro
standpoint, but I think in evenour, personal relationships, I
think we need to remo, imaginemodern parenthood as something
(23:06):
that's a shared cognitive andemotional experience.
Both between partners, but alsoas we think about, our social
structures and, how we buildcompanies and how we incentivize
behavior.
So what can we control, right?
And, how do we have aconversation about that and sort
of.
Open that up.
So I think that's reallyimportant.
(23:26):
And then second, to your pointaround tech, I truly believe,
and this is the reason I'mbuilding Ava, is that, AI has
really given us this new toolkitthat's unlike any other tech
that we've had up until thispoint.
and the reason for that isbecause It can actually fully
take tasks off of our plates andexecute things for us, and
(23:49):
predict right things that we'regoing to need and learn our
context and do all those things.
to me this domain particularlyaround.
Household admin and child admintasks, something like filling
out forms, finding the rightchildcare, tracking spirit days,
all of those things.
These are not the things thatare the important parts of
(24:11):
parenting, right?
this is not where we wanna bespending our energy and our
time, but the amount of themright, has just grown and grown
and grown.
And so.
They're really ripe to beoutsourced.
and so this is where I think AIcan really have such a positive,
benefit on our lives.
and I know there's a lot offears about ai and I think that
(24:33):
there's a lot of areas where,There rightfully are questions
about should we be using AI inthis, you know, specific way?
What is it gonna mean forhumans, brains, and all of those
things.
And to me, this area ofhousehold admin, there's no
question here that we can justfully, we should be able to
delegate this.
(24:53):
We should be able to add a newteammate, which I think AI is
really, really well situatedfor.
Kelly Siebold (25:00):
I love that.
'cause I think you're right.
You are not missing being aparent by filling out school
forms and doing the child adminsthings that need to get done.
But I could be spending thattime reading a book to my child
instead of.
Or having quality time or doingsomething that will make an
impact, even though I know herschool forms need to be filled
out.
So tell us a little bit more,when you say ai, what you mean
by that?
Because a lot of us, I'm sure atVision, one of two things, chat
(25:23):
GPT, you're going and ask me aquestion.
The other one is, all the movieswe see about AI taking over the
world, it's neither one ofthese.
So tell us about what you'rekind of meaning when you
reference
Laura Cunningham (25:33):
Yeah.
So, what we are building, is,really using kind of vertical
age agentic ai.
And I'll break down what thatactually means.
But, there's this idea that ofage agentic ai, which means that
it's AI that actually canoperate and act on your behalf.
Now, of course there's degreesof that and there's degrees of
(25:55):
how much a person is going totrust AI to act on their behalf,
right?
And so we think a lot aboutprogressive trust and having
users really start to work withthis AI and it build their trust
over time.
And so therefore they allow itto take on more and more.
But the whole idea isessentially taking the skills of
(26:17):
an EA.
Right.
Like an executive assistant,right?
Someone who's supposed to helpyou, and bringing it into the
household domain.
Kelly Siebold (26:25):
Could you give us an example of what AI could help
a mom
Laura Cunningham (26:28):
Yeah, absolutely.
So a couple areas where we arefocused.
First one is really aroundschedule management and again,
this admin, task management.
um, I.
We are inundated every day by,so many emails from school
extracurriculars, from thedoctor, all these things that we
need to do and take care of.
(26:49):
And so the idea is that, Ava canactually, read all of those
things, parse through what'simportant, put things on your
schedule if they need to be, andthen also highlight what needs
to be done, right?
So there's this, you should signup for this club because.
Your kid would like to do that,et cetera.
the other area that we're reallythinking a lot about, is this
(27:09):
piece around discovery.
So there's so much out there, onthe internet when it comes to,
the best strollers or the rightway to introduce solids Right.
All of these different topics.
Kelly Siebold (27:22):
So much information.
Laura Cunningham (27:24):
much information, like information
overload.
And so really having Ava be ableto go out and do the research,
for you and come up with threeoptions instead of 75 options,
right?
So that's a huge, huge part, ofreducing the amount of work we
have to do.
and then one area that I'mactually really excited about,
'cause I think, we, we think ofAI as really removing human
(27:45):
connection.
is this idea of Ava being ableto help moms find, mentor moms,
basically.
sort of local moms who have justgone through the stage that you
are at, in your momming career,and be able to, forge a
connection with them and askthem questions about how they.
Went through this and did theyhave any recommendations, for
(28:07):
things you should be thinkingabout.
'cause they literally justexperienced this stage of child
rearing.
so super excited about that.
Kelly Siebold (28:14):
Brilliant.
Because if you could find a realperson who just went through
something to get ideas from andbounce back, and I'm not trying
to go to mommy meetup groups tomeet somebody and the effort
Laura Cunningham (28:24):
Totally.
Kelly Siebold (28:25):
if there was someone that can say, Hey, we
can help find it, this could bea person for you.
Just even outsourcing that kindof all the time and effort and
energy it takes to do that isamazing.
Laura Cunningham (28:35):
Totally.
Totally.
Yeah.
It's like let's return energyfor things that really matter,
right?
and things that we really wantto be doing.
Kelly Siebold (28:43):
I love the fact that we are in a place in
society where it's very hard asa mom, but we're to the point
now where technology can reallyhelp take some of that off for
us and make our lives better sowe can spend more time with our
children or at work, orwhatever's gonna help us feel
better.
Tell us a little bit more if ourmoms are interested, they wanna
(29:03):
know about Ava, they wanna testit out, tell us how they can
find it
Laura Cunningham (29:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
we have a website and so if yougo to our website, which is hi
ava.xyz, you should be able to,learn a little bit more about
what we're building and thenalso join our community.
we have a very active WhatsAppgroup, where we've been talking
about, sort of all of theseideas of what do we wanna take
off of our plates and how wouldwe do that?
(29:28):
what don't we want AI to do forus, right?
So it's kind of like the do'sand don'ts.
so please sign up there to jointhat community.
And then you can also follow meon LinkedIn.
I've been definitely doing a lotof deep dives into this area
around the mental load.
So if you're interested inlearning more, yeah, please
follow me.
Laura Cunningham, on LinkedIn.
Kelly Siebold (29:49):
I will include all the links Laura just
mentioned in the show notes.
So just scroll down.
You can find them right there.
I love you walking us throughhow we got here and kind of
really understanding thatthere's a lot outside of our
control that made us feel thisway.
But also if you're mentallystruggling already, how much
more this can feel like you'restruggling and how it can add to
(30:09):
it.
Thank you for walking throughhelping us normalize that this
isn't just us, right?
That this is really happening,and then the effort that you are
on to build and change this formoms is just so impactful.
And so thank you for using thisin a new way to help all of our
lives be better.
there anything else you wouldwant our moms listening to know?
Laura Cunningham (30:31):
I think, yeah, just the big message is you
aren't alone.
There are so many people who areexperiencing the exact same
feelings that you are.
And again, it's not your fault.
I think that's really the keymessages and that, I.
I am just so excited to find newsolutions to these problems that
we're starting to talk aboutopenly.
and so, really excited to beable to build this product, Ava
(30:55):
that will, really meaningfullyhelp.
all parents, but particularlymoms, just lighten this mental
load.
Like, let's take something offof our plates after decades of
just adding to it.
Kelly Siebold (31:08):
Thank you.
I can't wait to try it outmyself.
Right.
Anything I can outsource, themore, the better.
I can't wait to be one of thefirst ones.
So thank you for coming on Mom.
If you're listening, pleasecheck out Ava down below, and
you also can reach out to Lauradirectly if you have any
questions.
And again, even if this is justhelping you feel a little bit
better about the mental loadisn't just you, it is real.
(31:28):
And there are amazing people outin this world like Laura, who
are trying to help you reduce itAnd we hope you have a great
week.
We'll see you next week.
If you enjoyed this episode andfound it helpful, please be sure
to hit subscribe.
Leave us your feedback and giveus a five star review.
For even more support, visitus@wethrivepostpartum.com.
(31:54):
Slash podcast to sign up for ournewsletter and learn more about
our community.
Remember, you are not alone withsupport.
You can feel better together.
Let's thrive postpartum.
Welcome to Let's ThrivePostpartum, where we tackle
postpartum depression andanxiety.
Head on, guiding you back toyourself.
Join Kelly Seabold, founder ofThrive Postpartum and Ashley
Moore, a maternal mental healththerapist.
Through honesty and laughter, weshare expert advice and real
stories.
(00:25):
While not therapy or medicaladvice, you'll find education,
support and hope.
Welcome to the village.
Let's thrive postpartum.
Kelly Siebold (00:38):
Hi, and welcome back to Let's Thrive Postpartum.
I'm Kelly.
if you are a mom who isnavigating that season of
anxiety, depression, or just thedaily overwhelm that hits often
after having a child, I want youto know that you are not
imagining it.
And this is the episode for you,that invisible mental load of
(00:58):
caring for a child and oftenthing running a household is
very real.
It's relentless and it oftenlands hardest on us moms.
when your brain is alreadyoverwhelmed or stressed, even
asking for help can just feellike one more thing on your
to-do list.
today we're gonna explore howtechnology.
When built with empathy canactually lighten your mental
(01:20):
load and help alleviate anxietyand overwhelm that us new moms
and even seasoned moms reallyfeel.
we're gonna talk about whatmental load really does to our
wellbeing.
How did we actually get here asa society in the first place,
and why is this all on us?
how tools like Ava that you'regonna hear about can offer real
support when you need it most.
(01:42):
moms, I am thrilled to introduceto you our expert guest today,
Laura Cunningham.
is the CEO and co-founder ofAva, and it's an AI powered
household concierge built toreduce the mental load of
modern.
Parenthood.
as a seasoned product leader andmom of two, Laura has spent over
15 years building at theintersection of education, deep
(02:05):
technology and ai.
Laura launched Ava afterconfronting that invisible,
relentless demands of running ahousehold while also leading AI
strategy at a deep tech companyand realizing there were no real
tools to design to help.
Ava is her answer.
It's a domain specific.
A gen AI that acts as ahousehold, COO, designed to
(02:30):
anticipate and manage familylogistics with empathy and
intelligence.
And on top of all that, sheloves running, cooking,
traveling, and is just reallypassionate about building a tech
that is truly in service ofhuman wellbeing.
Laura, thank you so much forbeing here with us
Laura Cunningham (02:47):
Thank you for having me.
It's awesome to be here.
Kelly Siebold (02:50):
Of course, we talk so much on this podcast
about all the things that momsneed help with and the mental
load and the feeling that wehave to do it all.
I am thrilled that you and Avaand the company that you're
building are doing somethingwith technology to help lighten
this, where technology sometimesoften feels like it's adding to
(03:10):
our stress, right?
Les, how do we use it in theright way?
Can we first start off bytalking about what is mental
load?
I think a lot of us kind of knowthat feeling, but what really is
it and what are the impacts onmother and child?
Laura Cunningham (03:26):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So if we think about what is thedefinition of the mental load?
it's really the cognitive andthe emotional work that is
involved in managing ahousehold, a family, and All of
those related responsibilities.
And really what we see is thatthose responsibilities are often
very overlooked, societally.
(03:47):
and they are alsodisproportionately carried by
women usually in relationships.
and so really think of this asall of the thinking and planning
and organizing and overseeing oftasks, not just the physical
execution of labor, right?
So that's really that idea ofthe mental load.
And unfortunately the impact,you know, on moms of this mental
(04:12):
load is pretty significant.
So, both from an economicstandpoint, but then also sort
of societally, what we see isthat on average mothers in the
US spend up to 15 hours a weekon this unpaid household labor,
which, and this.
This blows me away, which isthat's actually$1.25 trillion of
(04:34):
lost economic value if we wereto just sort of equate those
hours to sort of from a moneystandpoint.
and that is roughly theequivalent of the GDP of Spain.
So that's
Kelly Siebold (04:43):
Okay, wait, we are spinning the GDP of Spain on
unpaid labor.
Just thinking about all theextra stuff that we have to do
to take care in the mental loadof running a
Laura Cunningham (04:54):
Exactly.
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (04:57):
That is
Laura Cunningham (04:57):
Yes.
Kelly Siebold (04:58):
What do you put it in that
Laura Cunningham (04:59):
Yes, it's totally crazy.
and then the other sort of statsthat I find also equally as
crazy, are that unfortunatelythis kind of emotional and sort
of cognitive labor that, so manyof us do, can really lead to,
spiking rates of stress.
And burnout and depression,which then actually have impacts
(05:21):
on both childhood wellbeing.
So the kids of, a mom who isdeeply stressed out and
depressed.
and then also on yourrelationship on your romantic
relationships on how you show upin society and with your friends
and, sort of your, your abilityto have, be part of, sort of
social groups, et cetera.
(05:42):
Just some stats here, whichagain, blow me away.
so a child who has a mom who'skind of suffering from, from
these, from these impacts has a30 to 50% increased risk of,
developing emotional,behavioral, or cognitive issues,
which is pretty, again, prettystartling, right?
And that mom, that same momwho's, experiencing these things
(06:04):
also has a 50 to 60% likelihood,increased likelihood of divorce.
So that, all of those thingsright, are, it's it's not, it's
not just the money part, it'sactually our relationship.
Kelly Siebold (06:16):
no.
And that poor mom who's alreadystruggling, who's already
overwhelmed, who now's child mayhave more impacts, their
marriage is
Laura Cunningham (06:23):
Yeah.
Kelly Siebold (06:23):
I mean, the, just the constant snowball effect to
that mom is
Laura Cunningham (06:28):
Totally.
And then the final kind of statthat I will leave you with,
which also really kind of blewme away, is that this burden of
modern parenting andparticularly sort of modern
momming is becoming such anacute issue that, I.
The Pew Research did a study in2023, and found that 47% of
(06:51):
women under the age of 50actually said that they are
unlikely to become mothers.
They don't want to even enterinto this journey, right?
So again, pretty, prettystartling.
Almost half of women are sayingthat they don't wanna take on
this responsibility basically.
Kelly Siebold (07:10):
I understand because there's not a lot set up
to support moms in this phaseand for all of us who.
Are listening, and if you'regoing through postpartum
depression or anxiety or justthat overwhelm, this overload
and this mental load that we'recarrying really can exacerbate
or lead to postpartumdepression.
So don't have a great stat.
(07:30):
I know there's a ton out there,but I loved this article from
parents.com, by Hannah Naoko,and she just talks about how
mental load connects topostpartum depression in many
ways.
she said that new mothers whoare often primary caregivers
carry the bulk of the mentalload, making sure everyone
else's needs are met.
This leads to chronic stress,emotional exhaustion, and
(07:51):
increases your overall risk.
So for all of us who are alreadyon the edge, anything that we
can do to reduce our mentalload, as you mentioned, is not
only gonna help us, but it'sgonna help our relationship.
It's gonna help our child.
There's a lot that.
We can do, and I don't feel likesociety was really set up to
support moms where we are rightnow in today's world.
(08:14):
How do you feel about that?
Laura Cunningham (08:15):
Yeah, I mean, I absolutely agree.
I think that there's a lot,there's, sort of a couple of
things that we really need to bethinking about as we move
forward.
And I'm excited to dive into thehistory of how did we get here
and how do we move forward?
why are we in this, the placewhere we are?
Kelly Siebold (08:32):
Yes.
Let's dive into that because youknow, you think back, growing
up, our grandmothers had a verydifferent experience than we
did.
The internet was not a thing.
You often lived in close groupfamilies.
mothers probably had a differentexperience.
And so when you're, they'relooking at you saying, what's
happening?
Why are you feeling this?
They are growing up.
(08:53):
Raise children in a differenttype of society than we did.
So let's, can you help us figureout, how do we get here?
Laura Cunningham (08:59):
Yeah.
Kelly Siebold (09:00):
what brought us to this moment in
Laura Cunningham (09:01):
Yeah, totally.
my background, I have a degreein history, I feel please,
please stop me if I am going toodeep on any, in any of these.
Sort of areas.
But I found it truly fascinatingto go through kind of the last
75 years of parenting in Americareally to try to answer this
question of, how do we get tothe place where we are?
Which my belief is that we'resort of in a crisis of modern
(09:24):
parenting, based on all of theexpectations that exist.
sort of in, in the broader sortof cultural societal world and
that we put on ourselves.
And so how did we get here?
Right.
so I think the major headline,is that in every era since the
1950s, we have really addedexpectations to what a parent is
(09:45):
supposed to do, particularlywhat a mother is supposed to do.
And we have never actuallylifted the old expectations, so
we've just continued to add.
Never removed.
and these expectations weredriven by huge macroeconomic
factors like wars and the civilrights movement and, you know,
(10:06):
recession.
So really big things that areout of the control of an
individual person.
So I think that's the other.
Piece that I think is importantas we today think about our own
sort of, charting our owncourse.
and there's a lot that, hashappened that has been out of
our control.
Right.
Kelly Siebold (10:23):
And I think that's good to stop and just
note.
'cause if you know, when you'refeeling overwhelmed, you're
like, what am I doing?
Why am I
Laura Cunningham (10:29):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:29):
How can I do it?
But you're not doing
Laura Cunningham (10:31):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:32):
There are things that have happened who brought
us here with society that aren'tyour
Laura Cunningham (10:36):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (10:37):
And I think, and just knowing that a good first
step to
Laura Cunningham (10:41):
A thousand percent.
Yes.
and of course, you know, we allhave individual, ability to take
steps in different directionsand, and do that.
But I do think it's reallyimportant to say like, okay,
it's not our fault that we'rehere.
I did a deep dive into sort ofwhat was happening into each
decade and what were the ex.
So just to sort of give you asense of what was going on.
(11:02):
so I started in the 1950s, sothis was really the US
recovering from World War ii.
and there what we find is thatpublic messaging is really
re-framing kind of the women's.
Patriotic duty away fromworking, which a lot of women
actually had to go into theworkforce during World War II
(11:23):
because all the men werefighting.
'cause we needed bullets and weneeded all these other things,
right?
This is the Rosie the Riveterera.
so public messaging then shiftswith all of these men coming
back from war, and so thatveterans can actually reclaim
those jobs, right?
They want, they actually wantwomen out of the workforce
because, they need.
Jobs for men to do.
(11:43):
there is really this focus onnow, no, actually your job is at
home.
So moving from Ro Rosie theRiveter to June Cleaver is like
the big sort of move in thatdecade.
Kelly Siebold (11:55):
You still think of the 50 fifties housewife like
that
Laura Cunningham (11:57):
exactly.
Kelly Siebold (11:58):
from TVs when you're watching old movies.
The fifties Housewife is a
Laura Cunningham (12:02):
Exactly.
And like you're bringing upexactly like that ideal kind of
woman right then, which is, thesuburban perfect housewife wife.
Right?
And a lot of that is actuallydriven also by the economic
drivers of.
the GI bill and like the rise ofcheap suburban homes.
And so really wanting to drivepeople to these like, new
(12:24):
developments in the suburbs.
So again, things that are likemacro happening, right?
really creating the setting fora single breadwinner, a single
car household where mom stayshome and kids are, you know,
playing in the yard and gettingalong and, you know, everything
is like clean and perfect.
and the other piece I think thatwas so interesting about the
fifties is that this ideal isreally promoted culturally
(12:47):
because there's this need forlike psychological stability
after what was really a globallytraumatic period of World War
ii, like rationing, you know, somuch death, so much destruction.
I think this idea of this personas being something that is, that
feels very safe, is somethingthat's very interesting as well.
(13:07):
And then also really politicallyuseful because, politicians were
using this housewife ideal asthe symbol for American, You
know, having like all of this,money and success, this is the
ideal of what we are.
And this is in stark contrast towhat's happening, from a
communist standpoint given theCold War.
So this is also sort of apolitically motivated, kind of
(13:29):
like ideal.
but what we see also is thatunderneath this very like shiny,
smiley ex.
Terri, there's some hidden, realdiscontent and also many, many
people obviously are veryexcluded from this ideal, right?
And so Betty Fried, I thinkprobably many, many people know
her work in the FeminineMystique, but she starts writing
(13:50):
about this very pervasiveproblem that has no name.
So it's really kind of the firstinstance of this, mental load
being referenced, although notreally spoken about generally
and culturally.
so that's the fifties, enter thesixties and seventies, which is
really the rise of the civilrights movement, the second wave
of feminism.
(14:11):
and really also, a rising costof living.
We have.
Really spiking inflation duringthat time.
and then also I thinkinterestingly, the slow
acceptance and introduction ofthe birth control pill.
women are able to make, morespecific decisions about do they
want a family and how, when dothey want that family?
(14:33):
And so this is leading to adifferent kind of American mom,
which is really having this dualrole as earner and caregiver.
So this is that sort of thesixties, seventies.
again, what we see here isrolled expansion, right?
It's you're moving from justbeing the caregiver to also
being an earner.
but you're not sheddinganything.
Nothing.
You're not giving anything up.
(14:53):
You're just adding, And thenthis is also the era where for
the first time we see expertsarising in childhood
development.
So this is the era of Dr.
Spock and Montessori and theintroduction of Headstart and
really the start of that focuson child enrichment and the
belief that what you do asparents actually has a big
(15:15):
impact on your kids and theirdevelopment.
60 seventies, we have thisexpansion.
Then in the eighties what we seeis this rise of kind of the
supermom who is really anidealized woman who can have it
all.
I, I always think about, thewoman who is in her blazer with
the shoulder pads and then alsoholding a baby on one hip and,
(15:37):
just able to Succeedprofessionally and be very
ambitious professionally.
but then also relentlesslyorganized and kind of
overextended, and behind that,why are we suddenly seeing this
focus on, kind of ambitious,professional women, is that the
macroeconomic reality is thatthere was.
Really, really highunemployment.
(15:58):
So there's rising unemploymentand stagnation of wages.
And so the reality was a singlepaycheck no longer cut it.
you had to have a dual income,family from, most people.
and so that sort of model, the1950s model.
We see that really cracking inthe 1980s.
and then simultaneously therewere also these deep tax cuts
(16:21):
and, very sharp reductions inkind of social services.
So it meant that a lot of momshad to actually pick up the
slack arranging more informalchildcare, working odd shifts.
so this is the era of, thelatchkey kid, is, that we all.
Remember.
but that's because, of, of someof these sort of macroeconomic
factors that were happening.
(16:42):
So kind of the, the long andshort of it is that the mom's
workbook became essential to thehousehold.
while some of these policyrollbacks and job market shifts
meant that, the domesticworkload just.
It's basically stayed the sameif not getting bigger.
So again, expansion ofresponsibility, expansion of
expectations, not reduction inany way.
(17:04):
and then we get to the ninetiesand the two thousands.
and this, I would say is reallythe era of kind of intensive
parenting.
and then if you do a little bitof research as well, there's
these mommy wars, whichunfortunately kind of pit stay
at home moms versus working momsagainst each other, which is
obviously unfortunate.
Everyone is just kind of doingtheir best.
But this is really whenparenting becomes a high stakes,
(17:27):
full contact sport almost,where, moms are expected to
become kind of project managersof their kids' childhood.
and it's really the birth ofthis information overload and
kind of comparison culture aswell.
So the net effect is that weagain, add another layer of.
Expectations, which is not onlyare you supposed to excel
(17:49):
professionally and be superambitious, and also keep a
spotless home and be a wonderfulhomemaker, but you also have to
now ensure that your child ismaximally enriched right at all
times.
And eating nothing but organickale chips.
that's, this expectation.
Kelly Siebold (18:06):
different sports that you've got to get to and
all the
Laura Cunningham (18:09):
Exactly.
Kelly Siebold (18:09):
perfect while
Laura Cunningham (18:10):
Exactly, exactly.
So that really happened, kind ofthat pivot from the nineties
into the early two thousands.
And then really the 2010s untilnow, I would say is really the
era of hyper acceleration oftech, and of social media where
we've become kind of hyperconnected and always on, but
also kind of more performative.
(18:31):
So we have this idea of ThePinterest perfect.
pressure of am I doing enoughand am I good enough?
And oh my gosh, this other momis doing it so much better than
me.
'cause I can see her Instagramreel.
all of that is sort of shovedinto our face, and then from an
economy standpoint, this wasalso the decade, the, the 2008,
(18:52):
nine, the great recessionhappened.
and so millions of people gotlaid off, particularly in male
dominated sectors.
And so again, so many momsearnings became kind of this
economic lifeline.
and culturally it was also theera of lean in and becoming a
girl boss.
but then also a child safety andkind of enrichment arms race.
(19:15):
So really just taking everythingthat was happening in the 2010s
or the two thousands and likespotlighting it and making it
even more competitive and moresort of out there via these
social media, avenues.
and then societally, we also seean escalating cost of childcare
and housing.
So this is the first decade Iwould say, The 2010s to the, to
(19:37):
2020, when childcare fees startto actually outpace wages, so
that, then that adds a whole newsort of avenue of questioning,
does it even make sense for meto work if my, if all of my
wages are going to childcare.
you know, I still have thisexpectation and I like working,
so there's a lot going on here.
(19:58):
Again, that's happening becauseof some of these macro economic
factors.
I would say thankfully, I thinkthis is also the era where the
discourse about the mental loadis actually starting to go
mainstream.
So we're starting to talk aboutit.
We have a language aroundinvisible labor.
and I think that really again,is something that's so, so
(20:18):
important, is to expose it,right?
It, it should not be thisunnamed feeling that we have.
It should be something that wetalk about and that we support
each other with.
so kind of in some, if I thinkabout this past, the past 75
years, it's actually becomereally clear why we are feeling
this feeling of overload andoverwhelm.
(20:39):
'cause we're carrying all ofthese expectations that have
just been added up for over thedecades.
So we're supposed to stillnurture the 1950s work, the
1980s enrich the two thousandsand be.
Always on, the digital kind ofnative people that we are, but
our energy and our time arefinite.
So you can't possibly be doingall those things well, all of
(21:02):
the time.
of course this leads to thenquestions around well, where do
we go from here?
what do we do about this nowthat we know how we got here,
what do we do?
You know?
Kelly Siebold (21:11):
Exactly, and I think that is so fascinating.
'cause you're right, it did justkeep piling on.
And I guess because we areparents in this age, right?
We've seen our mothers yet we'veseen our grandmothers.
But being a mom in the 2020s andkind of going through this era
post COVID, where we also lostso much of our society being
able to be together for us wherewe lived.
(21:31):
So many daycare and childcare,closed all their centers because
they couldn't support or keepthem.
So Our childcare is even harderto find, which makes it more
expensive.
And you're right, adding on thefeeling of social media and on
top of all the expectations,being able to instantly judge
someone on your phone anytimeyou want to and be able to say,
(21:52):
I feel like I'm failing.
Even though that image is notreal.
It's one moment of the bestmoment of that person's day,
still have this ability to sayin a new way.
I'm not doing what I think Ishould or what society thinks
I'm should versus just singingon TV or on the news.
It's always with you.
those are some very bigproblems, that got us here.
(22:14):
Personally, you and I can'tchange the macro problems,
right?
It is where society is and thatcould be hours of a podcast of
what can we do at a macro levelto help improve it for moms, but
what can we do now to help ussingularly.
Manage this mental load.
And I know we're talking a lotabout technology'cause
(22:34):
technology's always kind of beenseen as a bad thing.
When you start talking aboutsocial media and what it can do
good and bad, how can we startleveraging technology for good
in this
Laura Cunningham (22:43):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So I see there being really two.
Path forward here.
The first, I think it isimportant to talk a little bit
about culturally and societally,and of course, to your point, we
can't change everything that'shappening from a macro
standpoint, but I think in evenour, personal relationships, I
think we need to remo, imaginemodern parenthood as something
(23:06):
that's a shared cognitive andemotional experience.
Both between partners, but alsoas we think about, our social
structures and, how we buildcompanies and how we incentivize
behavior.
So what can we control, right?
And, how do we have aconversation about that and sort
of.
Open that up.
So I think that's reallyimportant.
(23:26):
And then second, to your pointaround tech, I truly believe,
and this is the reason I'mbuilding Ava, is that, AI has
really given us this new toolkitthat's unlike any other tech
that we've had up until thispoint.
and the reason for that isbecause It can actually fully
take tasks off of our plates andexecute things for us, and
(23:49):
predict right things that we'regoing to need and learn our
context and do all those things.
to me this domain particularlyaround.
Household admin and child admintasks, something like filling
out forms, finding the rightchildcare, tracking spirit days,
all of those things.
These are not the things thatare the important parts of
(24:11):
parenting, right?
this is not where we wanna bespending our energy and our
time, but the amount of themright, has just grown and grown
and grown.
And so.
They're really ripe to beoutsourced.
and so this is where I think AIcan really have such a positive,
benefit on our lives.
and I know there's a lot offears about ai and I think that
(24:33):
there's a lot of areas where,There rightfully are questions
about should we be using AI inthis, you know, specific way?
What is it gonna mean forhumans, brains, and all of those
things.
And to me, this area ofhousehold admin, there's no
question here that we can justfully, we should be able to
delegate this.
(24:53):
We should be able to add a newteammate, which I think AI is
really, really well situatedfor.
Kelly Siebold (25:00):
I love that.
'cause I think you're right.
You are not missing being aparent by filling out school
forms and doing the child adminsthings that need to get done.
But I could be spending thattime reading a book to my child
instead of.
Or having quality time or doingsomething that will make an
impact, even though I know herschool forms need to be filled
out.
So tell us a little bit more,when you say ai, what you mean
by that?
Because a lot of us, I'm sure atVision, one of two things, chat
(25:23):
GPT, you're going and ask me aquestion.
The other one is, all the movieswe see about AI taking over the
world, it's neither one ofthese.
So tell us about what you'rekind of meaning when you
reference
Laura Cunningham (25:33):
Yeah.
So, what we are building, is,really using kind of vertical
age agentic ai.
And I'll break down what thatactually means.
But, there's this idea that ofage agentic ai, which means that
it's AI that actually canoperate and act on your behalf.
Now, of course there's degreesof that and there's degrees of
(25:55):
how much a person is going totrust AI to act on their behalf,
right?
And so we think a lot aboutprogressive trust and having
users really start to work withthis AI and it build their trust
over time.
And so therefore they allow itto take on more and more.
But the whole idea isessentially taking the skills of
(26:17):
an EA.
Right.
Like an executive assistant,right?
Someone who's supposed to helpyou, and bringing it into the
household domain.
Kelly Siebold (26:25):
Could you give us an example of what AI could help
a mom
Laura Cunningham (26:28):
Yeah, absolutely.
So a couple areas where we arefocused.
First one is really aroundschedule management and again,
this admin, task management.
um, I.
We are inundated every day by,so many emails from school
extracurriculars, from thedoctor, all these things that we
need to do and take care of.
(26:49):
And so the idea is that, Ava canactually, read all of those
things, parse through what'simportant, put things on your
schedule if they need to be, andthen also highlight what needs
to be done, right?
So there's this, you should signup for this club because.
Your kid would like to do that,et cetera.
the other area that we're reallythinking a lot about, is this
(27:09):
piece around discovery.
So there's so much out there, onthe internet when it comes to,
the best strollers or the rightway to introduce solids Right.
All of these different topics.
Kelly Siebold (27:22):
So much information.
Laura Cunningham (27:24):
much information, like information
overload.
And so really having Ava be ableto go out and do the research,
for you and come up with threeoptions instead of 75 options,
right?
So that's a huge, huge part, ofreducing the amount of work we
have to do.
and then one area that I'mactually really excited about,
'cause I think, we, we think ofAI as really removing human
(27:45):
connection.
is this idea of Ava being ableto help moms find, mentor moms,
basically.
sort of local moms who have justgone through the stage that you
are at, in your momming career,and be able to, forge a
connection with them and askthem questions about how they.
Went through this and did theyhave any recommendations, for
(28:07):
things you should be thinkingabout.
'cause they literally justexperienced this stage of child
rearing.
so super excited about that.
Kelly Siebold (28:14):
Brilliant.
Because if you could find a realperson who just went through
something to get ideas from andbounce back, and I'm not trying
to go to mommy meetup groups tomeet somebody and the effort
Laura Cunningham (28:24):
Totally.
Kelly Siebold (28:25):
if there was someone that can say, Hey, we
can help find it, this could bea person for you.
Just even outsourcing that kindof all the time and effort and
energy it takes to do that isamazing.
Laura Cunningham (28:35):
Totally.
Totally.
Yeah.
It's like let's return energyfor things that really matter,
right?
and things that we really wantto be doing.
Kelly Siebold (28:43):
I love the fact that we are in a place in
society where it's very hard asa mom, but we're to the point
now where technology can reallyhelp take some of that off for
us and make our lives better sowe can spend more time with our
children or at work, orwhatever's gonna help us feel
better.
Tell us a little bit more if ourmoms are interested, they wanna
(29:03):
know about Ava, they wanna testit out, tell us how they can
find it
Laura Cunningham (29:07):
Yeah, absolutely.
we have a website and so if yougo to our website, which is hi
ava.xyz, you should be able to,learn a little bit more about
what we're building and thenalso join our community.
we have a very active WhatsAppgroup, where we've been talking
about, sort of all of theseideas of what do we wanna take
off of our plates and how wouldwe do that?
(29:28):
what don't we want AI to do forus, right?
So it's kind of like the do'sand don'ts.
so please sign up there to jointhat community.
And then you can also follow meon LinkedIn.
I've been definitely doing a lotof deep dives into this area
around the mental load.
So if you're interested inlearning more, yeah, please
follow me.
Laura Cunningham, on LinkedIn.
Kelly Siebold (29:49):
I will include all the links Laura just
mentioned in the show notes.
So just scroll down.
You can find them right there.
I love you walking us throughhow we got here and kind of
really understanding thatthere's a lot outside of our
control that made us feel thisway.
But also if you're mentallystruggling already, how much
more this can feel like you'restruggling and how it can add to
(30:09):
it.
Thank you for walking throughhelping us normalize that this
isn't just us, right?
That this is really happening,and then the effort that you are
on to build and change this formoms is just so impactful.
And so thank you for using thisin a new way to help all of our
lives be better.
there anything else you wouldwant our moms listening to know?
Laura Cunningham (30:31):
I think, yeah, just the big message is you
aren't alone.
There are so many people who areexperiencing the exact same
feelings that you are.
And again, it's not your fault.
I think that's really the keymessages and that, I.
I am just so excited to find newsolutions to these problems that
we're starting to talk aboutopenly.
and so, really excited to beable to build this product, Ava
(30:55):
that will, really meaningfullyhelp.
all parents, but particularlymoms, just lighten this mental
load.
Like, let's take something offof our plates after decades of
just adding to it.
Kelly Siebold (31:08):
Thank you.
I can't wait to try it outmyself.
Right.
Anything I can outsource, themore, the better.
I can't wait to be one of thefirst ones.
So thank you for coming on Mom.
If you're listening, pleasecheck out Ava down below, and
you also can reach out to Lauradirectly if you have any
questions.
And again, even if this is justhelping you feel a little bit
better about the mental loadisn't just you, it is real.
(31:28):
And there are amazing people outin this world like Laura, who
are trying to help you reduce itAnd we hope you have a great
week.
We'll see you next week.
If you enjoyed this episode andfound it helpful, please be sure
to hit subscribe.
Leave us your feedback and giveus a five star review.
For even more support, visitus@wethrivepostpartum.com.
(31:54):
Slash podcast to sign up for ournewsletter and learn more about
our community.
Remember, you are not alone withsupport.
You can feel better together.
Let's thrive postpartum.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!