February 10, 2021 • 42 mins
When we find ourselves in a dark place with no options, it can be very easy to give up. Today we have a great talk with Dee Mahon, the host of "High Vibe Bombshell" podcast and author of "Glamorous." Dee tells us about her darkest times, and how focusing on looking and feeling glamorous helped her to find her authentic self. She now coaches and inspires other women to tap into their inner bombshell.
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Episode Transcript
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LTP (00:05):
In the race to success, we're not all starting from the
same place. Level the Pursuitseeks to fill in the gaps and
provide accessible bite sizedleadership lessons for anyone
looking to improve their skillsand prepare for the next step.
whatever that might be.
Welcome back, peeps. I hopeyou're having a fantastic week.
Now, last week, we talked aboutthe Highlander mentality and
(00:25):
really realizing that very fewpeople get to the top on their
own, but no one can stay thatway. So the more we surround
ourselves with good, strong,smart, ambitious people, the
better off we all are. Successreally is a team sport, you
cannot get there alone, youcannot stay there alone. And
really, if you want to be thebest, you have to surround
(00:47):
yourself with the best. So asyou move forward in your life,
make sure you're taking thosegood people along with you. Now
today we have a treat, we'regoing to talk to Ms Dierdre
Mahon. She is a makeup artistand author and a woman's life
coach who has amazingperspectives on a ton of
different things. But her focusis empowering women through
(01:09):
making them look and feel likebombshells. Now this isn't just
about how you look on theoutside, but it's about being
unapologetically you, andfeeling good about yourself no
matter what. And I think this isthe lesson all of us can learn
from. So whether you agree ordisagree with the concepts we
talked about today, I would loveto hear it. But in either case,
(01:31):
she has some great things to sayand I'm excited to share this
conversation with you.
Today, we're joined by Dee whois the host of high vibe
bombshell podcast. And she is aglam makeup artist who is
focused on empowering women notjust through makeup and glam,
but through beingunapologetically wonderful in
(01:52):
who they are. And so we're solucky to have her here and hear
a little bit about her journeyand her leadership perspectives.
So Dee, thank you so much forbeing here. We're so happy to
have you.
Dee Mahon (02:01):
Hi, Mary, thank you so much for having me here.
LTP (02:06):
We're gonna get through this, we're technology will not
meet us down today.
Dee Mahon (02:12):
And those who know me know, technology and sound like
my strong, strong suit. Soanyway, it's nice to meet you.
LTP (02:22):
Nice to meet you as well.
So glam is a really cool placeto be. It's not necessarily as
in vogue now as it was back inthe day. But obviously there are
still a place for feelingempowered, feeling beautiful.
And, and it's interesting tohave that be your focus of how
you do your leadership coachingand how you empower women. Can
(02:43):
you tell us a little bit abouthow that started and where it
came from?
Dee Mahon (02:50):
Yes, so as a little girl, I was very shy. And I
bonded very closely with my mom,my father was a good provider,
but he was emotionally absent,and always working. And I felt
unseen by him and invisible. Ihad a little bit of low self
(03:11):
esteem, being shy, etc. So Ibonded very closely with my mom
from about an age of seven,eight, I would sit and watch her
beloved old Hollywood movies. SoI like to say to people that I
was raised on them, becausethey're a part of my DNA as much
as anything else. I absorbed allthe beauty and the glamour and
(03:32):
the elegance of this era. Andthough the movies themselves
were actually made up, but theerror was very real. The clothes
were the movie, the makeup, etc.
How these women held themselvesand presented themselves, their
body language of the clotheswere very real. And I just I
loved it. I loved the femininepower that these women had. And
(03:53):
I particularly resonated withthe bombshell because she was
unapologetic in her sensualityand her sexuality. And so I knew
that beauty and makeup andglamour somehow would be a part
of my life. I grew up watchingall my reading all my glamour
magazines every month etc.
(04:16):
Playing with makeup. After highschool I got my cosmeticians
license, I freelanced forseveral Estee Lauder Lancome, in
particular in the New York CityDepartment Stores. And I got
burnt out after several yearsbecause I really just wanted to
help women look and feel good. Ididn't want the sales end of it.
I didn't want to pressure theminto buying makeup that they did
(04:39):
not need. So I answered an ad inthe paper. I started into
corporate for many years, I wasa front receptionist met my
future husband there and took adetour at the age of 26. He
found out that even though hewas the love of my life and a
beautiful, decent, kind lovinghuman being that we had much
(05:00):
common with, I found out he hada cocaine problem. And I thought
that I'd be able to save him.
And when I couldn't save him on,I couldn't leave him, I started
doing the drugs with him. Andthat took me down a different
path of nothingness for 20years, bouncing from one job to
the next and just jobs. But Iknew, I knew in my gut, I knew
in my soul that I wanted more,and I was made for more. At
(05:23):
around three, four o'clock inthe morning, I remember watching
this infomercial that was fromAlexis Vogel, who was, she's
passed on now, but she wasPamela Anderson's makeup artist.
And she gave Pamela, thebombshell look, she took her
from the Baywatch beauty andturned into a bombshell. And she
had a line of cosmetics that shewas be doing before and afters
(05:47):
on what regular women just likeyou and me, they weren't models,
they weren't actresses. And thenthese women would be given the
mirror afterwards. And theywould just be floored. They just
couldn't believe that they couldlook this way. They never saw
that themselves beyond being amother or a wife, or boss. They
didn't see themselves as anempowered, feminine, sexy woman.
(06:10):
I said, If I could ever get outof this dark place, that's what
I want to do for women. And so Idid fast forward, I got out at
47 got my apartment, started myown cosmetic company and I got
into bridal for the last 16years. But many times I would
see that women even brides evenyounger didn't matter what age,
(06:34):
they could be 25, they could be45, they could be 55. Many times
their vision of what they wantedto look like, wasn't meeting
what they felt like inside. AndI realized that it's the two has
to be together, your innerconfidence and your outer
confidence. You don't getconfidence by just putting a
dress on or putting high heelson or putting shimmer on your
(06:56):
cheeks or lipstick. It has tocome from inside. It's your body
language. It's It's It'severything. It's the whole of
you to be a whole full package.
And so I started doing feminineconfidence coaching as well.
LTP (07:15):
Wow. Fantastic. Thank you for sharing that. So there are a
lot of people that have bighurdles in their lives, whether
things they couldn't control orthings they could and I have to
think that there were times whenyou were using the cocaine where
it seemed like you were nevergoing to escape from that
(07:36):
lifestyle. Can you tell us alittle bit about how that felt
and what you did to get throughit.
Dee Mahon (07:42):
I had many days where I thought that this was it. This
is the rest of my life. I don'tknow how to get out of here.
Because I had before I had metmy Michael. And I refer to him
as my Michael. Because by thethird day that I I met him I was
(08:03):
smitten, I got literally hit bythe cliche the lightning bolt, I
felt a current of electricityshoot through my body. I felt
that I knew I was so comfortablewith him immediately. And felt
that I knew him my entire life.
And I was still kind of shy anda little awkward. Even though at
26, which is when I met him, Istill had more outer confidence
(08:28):
than I had inner confidence, youknow, and I felt that God put
before meeting him, o man wouldever disrespect me. I would
never put up with anything. Butbecause I was so connected with
him on a spiritual level. I feltthat God put me here for to save
him. That was my purpose. Andlike I said, when I couldn't
(08:52):
save him, I started doing itwith him. But I couldn't leave
him I didn't know how I wasgoing to stop. I just couldn't
leave him and I had thoughts ofsuicide by maybe year 15. And I
would watch Oprah many many daysbut I couldn't get out of bed
(09:13):
until I watched Oprah. She wasmy personal development, my
first personal development, youknow, and I'd read books and
during the day, I would beproductive. I would write my
journals and one step forwardand then two steps backwards,
one step forward two stepsbackwards. It's hard to explain
to another person in just acouple of minutes, but I just
(09:35):
knew I was destined for more Iwas determined for more at
around 45 I think around 43 Istopped doing the drugs but he
was still doing the drugs. And Ithat's when the first stirring
happened inside of me thathappens in many women it happens
in midlife when they reach their40s there is a stirring that We
(09:57):
know we're cold for more that weneed to, we need to answer that
calling. And around 45, I had afull blown panic attack. I was
like, I was anxious. I waspacing. I was I couldn't sleep.
And I called my father and myfather said, dd tomorrow, you'll
(10:19):
just get the newspaper. That'sall you have to do. Because I
was like, Daddy, I have to getout of here. I don't know what
to do I want to get out of here.
I don't know what to do. BecauseI can't leave him. How can I
leave him? You know, I'mextremely loyal and committed,
and I love him. And how do I howdo I leave him. But there comes
(10:41):
a point in your life, that youhave to realize that you cannot
save somebody else, you can onlysave yourself. And these are
what these are life lessons. Youknow, these are one of the
lessons we have to learn in ourlives. It took me 20 years.
Sometimes it doesn't take awoman that long. But you do have
to realize at some point, youcannot change another person,
(11:03):
you cannot save another person,the only person that's changes,
and many times not for the rightreasons is yourself. You change.
And then you have to saveyourself. And my father said
Didi tomorrow, you'll just get anewspaper. And you'll start
there. And that's what I did. Igot a newspaper and I found an
apartment. And that's how,that's how I got out.
LTP (11:26):
So it sounds like there were a lot of days that you
maybe didn't feel like you hadoptions. But you still had
something inside that said therewas going to be more.
Dee Mahon (11:38):
Yes, I you know, as you grow and evolve as a human
being, you, you many times don'tknow what their calling is where
but you know that you have acalling. And I remember hearing
Elizabeth Gilbert speak once shewas on stage with Oprah. And she
spoke about the hummingbird herHummingbird story that I now
(12:01):
pass on to others. And hopefullyyour listeners and my listeners
will get something out of thisbecause I am also in some over
4040 plus groups on Facebook.
And this is a typical questionthat you hear many times as I
say women in their 40s it startshappening mid 40s, definitely by
your 50s you're like, I want todo something I know I'm called
(12:23):
for something I have a stirringbut I'm confused. I don't know
what to do. I don't know what mygifts are. I don't know what my
strengths are. I've always justbeen a mom or wife or, and I say
to them, I tell them thehummingbird story that helped
me. So I always felt like aloser. Why do other people feel
like they found their callingand they're happy and and
(12:43):
they're they found theirpassion? And here I am I just
going from one boring job to thenext boring job and doing
nothing with my life. What aloser am I. And then Elizabeth
said, some people come into thisworld knowing exactly from day
one, they're going to be aballerina or a doctor or
whatever. And they stay on thatcourse their whole life. And
(13:07):
other people are likehummingbirds. They have to go
from this job, that job and thistree and that tree and that
flower and that fly. And theyjust take a longer time. Their
journey is not one straightline. It's like it's all over
the place. And I realized, yes,I'm like a hummingbird. I'm not
a loser. I'm a hummingbird. AndI realized in that moment that
(13:30):
even though I wasn't sure maybeyet exactly where I should fit
into this world, I knew thatevery job even every boring job,
every bad boss I ever had, everystupid coworker I ever worked
with, or, you know, every jobthat I had, that wasn't my
passion, taught me something ittaught me. You know, you can
(13:53):
learn a lot about what you don'twant just as much as what you do
want. And you can you find yourway sort of the back through the
back door rather than the frontfront door. And you learn about
what kind of person you don'twant to be what kind of boss you
don't want to be, what kind ofjob that you're not good at. And
that will lead you to knowingwho you are and what you are
(14:19):
good at what your strengths are.
And I knew I was meant somehowto be in front of people and
helping women and being amotivational speaker. I admired
Oprah so much that she had thatplatform and that she could help
women and she did help women.
And she helped me there weremany times I couldn't get out of
(14:41):
bed until her show came on atfour o'clock and then all of a
sudden the energy came throughand I was like you know what i
can get out of this. I am goingto get out of this. I you know,
so that's what I want to do forother women and I knew I
couldn't stay in corporate. I amnot meant to sit behind a desk.
I'm meant to shine.
Unknown (15:04):
And so I agree with everything you just said, I
definitely feel that way, I havehad lots of different jobs that
I absolutely think I went from.
I started sewing when I was 14making my own clothes, for a lot
of reasons, went intohospitality for years, graduated
from college and became afirefighter, and then went into
medical school to become asurgeon. And I can tell you
(15:26):
discrete things in each of thosethings that absolutely
contributed to my being betterat the next job-- no question,
as unrelated as they seem. Andpeople are like, Man, you can't
focus on one thing. But everyone of them has, absolutely.
And so that's one of the thingsI try to talk to my listeners
about is understanding thateverything is contributing,. One
thing that I think reallyresonated just now you talked
(15:55):
about kind of being in your 40s.
And feeling like you haven'tfound your purpose, and where
are you, but I think, you know,I have listeners that are in
their 20s and 30s and 40s, Ithink we have a lot of young
people that feel the same waythat feel like they're supposed
to, especially when you havethese young tech people or you
know, people that are gettinginto because industry is
exploding in so many differentways. People are getting rich at
(16:16):
15 or 12, or whatever, you know,and I feel like there's a lot of
people that feel like, ifthey're in high school or
college or just graduated,they're supposed to have already
accomplished something. And so Ithink that feeling of not being
sure what your purpose is, is, Iagree that we have we feel it
more as kind of you look back onyour life and you think, Okay,
what have I accomplished, but Ithink a lot of young people are
(16:38):
struggling with that as well.
Dee Mahon (16:40):
It's a different era, you know, when I was in my 20s,
there was no internet andclubhouse and instagramming
there's so I feel I do feel forthe young generation, because
they're over loaded with so muchand comparing themselves to Hey,
(17:05):
you know, when I was 20, Icompared myself to Susan Hayward
and Lana Turner, you know, nowthis is there, some millions of
people on Instagram that thesepoor, young girls in their 20s
are comparing themselves to.
And, you know, you'll find yourway, you'll find your way you
(17:25):
really will, you. And the otherthing that I want to say is that
you can't be influenced. I knowit's easier said than done, but
you just can't be influenced byfamily or friends that mean
well, you are your ownindividual human being. You come
into this world, you know,you're attached to your mother
(17:47):
by the umbilical cord. But oncethat is cut, you are no longer
attached to your mom. And you'reinfluenced by many people, but
you are your own soul. You camehere to find your way and your
mission and your purpose and youhave your own goals and your own
(18:07):
dreams and your own personality.
And you cannot let yourself beswayed by what other people want
for you. So stand stand yourground and and it you know will
happen
LTP (18:25):
So speaking of purpose let's let's talk a little bit
about your so we we had chatteda little bit before, but there's
a kind of a backlash a littlebit. There's a feeling that
you're not supposed to have tofeel feminine in order to feel
like a woman you don't have towear a dress or wear makeup or
(18:47):
wear heels in order to be theembodiment of a feminine view or
of womanhood. I agree with Ithink we should all you should
you should be the woman that youneed to be whatever, however
that looks for you. But I knowfor me personally, if I'm tired
if I'm stressed if I'm nervousabout something I'm going to put
(19:09):
on a full face of makeup I'mgoing to maybe my hair looks
exactly the same but I'm goingto spend a little bit more time
on it My hair looks the sameevery day for work because I
have to wear it certain ways butI do I do feel more powerful
when I'm a little bit glammedup. And I know other people that
feel more powerful when they'rewearing, you know, some sensible
shoes and no makeup and hair ina bun and they that that's
(19:31):
that's rocking it for them. Andso I don't think there's a right
or wrong answer to that. But Ithink playing up how you feel
most powerful is a good thing.
So how do you see that in theglam world do you have do you
deal with the backlash or mostpeople pretty like yeah, this is
this is what I'm excited about?
Dee Mahon (19:47):
Yeah, this is the age old story of a society. Men,
women all kind of fashion Thefemale you know she's not good
enough she's not tall enoughshe's not heavy enough she's not
(20:08):
this enough. She is right we getit from everywhere we turn. And
my my message is not that eventhough I resonated you know, I
grew up a girly girl I had asister, an older sister, who
kind of put me down and made funof me because she was not. She
had a wounded feminine somehowsomething happened. And you
(20:30):
know, she, she she was moregirly in her teens in her 20s.
But she she was more tomboy, youknow, I think she was wearing
the makeup, whatever it was, wasexpected of her and it came
natural to me it didn't comenatural to her. And that's okay.
(20:54):
I'm not saying that all womenhave to be girly and wear frilly
dresses, and we all come intothis world with our own, you
know, idea of what femininityis, for me, I resonated like I
said, with a bombshell. Mymessage is not that all women
have to be bombshells. Mymessage is that you get to be
(21:16):
how you want to be. But don'tput other women down for not
being who you are. You know, Iwon't put another woman down
because she feels like alwayswearing her hair and about bond
and flat shoes. But I don't wanther to put me down because I
choose to wear a full face ofmakeup and perfume or wood. So
(21:37):
let's stop with the Who does shethink she is? Okay, because
we've all experienced it. Stopit. Okay, we have to start
addressing women as the queenand me sees the queen in you
rather than Who does she thinkshe is right. Oh, so yes,
independence and feminism andall that stuff is we get to be
(22:01):
the female we want to be in thisworld. But we should not be
afraid to be a certain type offemale, you know, the girly
female because of who does? Shethinks she is? That's my
message. So if somebodyresonates with the when I say
unleash your inner bombshell, weall I feel have an inner
(22:23):
bombshell, that we'resuppressing it because society
says good girls Shouldn't youknow be bombshells and men
think, act differently towardsthe bombshell, you know, and
other women have to Oh, I'mgoing to lunch with the girls
today. But they're all going toshow up in jeans and a
sweatshirt no makeup, so I guessI have to tone myself. No, no,
(22:47):
no, no, no, no. If yourpersonality is a bombshell, then
shine it, you know, shine it andwhoever doesn't like that is not
your people, male or female, youknow, if they have to put you
down or shame you for somethingthat comes naturally to you,
then they're not your people.
And vice versa. If you're goingto be around people that are
(23:09):
saying, well, you're alwayswearing pants, put some makeup
on. But it is true that we livein a society that we make first
impressions. You know, our firstimpressions are by our parents,
how we speak how we carryourselves how, how our grooming
is, so we do have to care aboutour grooming. And it doesn't
(23:31):
necessarily have to be a fullface of makeup, we all look a
little healthier, if our undereye circles are a little covered
or we have a little gloss on ourteeth and our eyebrows are
filled in to give us definitionon the face. So there's nothing
wrong with makeup.
LTP (23:50):
No, I agree and you know makeup has branched out where
there are a lot of men that areusing makeup to some extent to
accentuate their appearance andto kind of have the same kind of
things I mean sometimes fullface but a lot of times just to
fill in the eyebrows or fillingyou know just even out there
skin tone things like that. Soyou know I can understand why I
know people I've heard peoplejudging that behavior but also
(24:13):
think why not?
Dee Mahon (24:14):
You know, logically it makes complete sense now I've
always been you know, I I liketo be a feminine woman. I so I
like a masculine man that cancomplement my feminine. But I
love a man that's well groomedand has you know, takes care of
his nails and puts a littleclear nail polish on his you
(24:35):
know, where's aftershave and allthat stuff. But I have to tell
you, I don't know. Like Ilogically I'm just standing but
if I saw my boyfriend or myhusband putting on like,
contour, be like, what are youdoing? Yeah, I think
LTP (24:54):
I think like anything, it probably takes getting used to..
You brought up And I want to goback to that. So a lot of my
listeners are male. And I thinkthat the glam and the
femininity, especially in theworkplace can be a challenge for
a lot of men, because they'renot sure you know, take bias and
(25:14):
take the the judgement ofcompetence and all those things
aside because hopefully we'llwork through those. But for a
woman or a man, if someone comesin looking beautiful, we have
created our, in our society, wewere in a place where you can't
say "Wow, you look beautifultoday." It that's, that's not
seen as being a positive thing.
Now obviously, making specificcomments about someone's actual
(25:36):
physical attributes or you know,those comments can obviously get
very inappropriate. But there'sa lot of circumstances where
people feel uncomfortable evensaying, "You look lovely today."
Like "I really like the wayyou've worn your makeup or your
you look quite flattering." Sowhat have you seen or what are
your thoughts on the difficultywith kind of interacting with
that femininity in theworkplace?
Dee Mahon (26:01):
Okay, good question.
And I just want to because Ijust want to bring up this one,
I want to make clear somethingbecause I use the term
bombshell. Most people don'tunderstand the term bombshell
when you say bombshell,especially to the younger
generation, they probably arethinking big boobs, blonde hair.
Dumb, you know, and that is nota bombshell. If you look up the
(26:27):
word bombshell in thedictionary, it just means an
extremely attractive woman. Youknow, it means like, wow, you
know, like, look at this woman.
It's a woman who turns headsbecause she radiates she
radiates femininity, sheradiates confidence. She's well
groomed and well put togetherthat's a bombshell. bombshells
(26:49):
come in all shapes and sizes.
You all Ah, you know, Mae Westwasn't a bombshell until she was
40 and she was considered abombshell even into her 80s
before she passed, butbombshells are smaller chested
bombshells or larger chestedbombshells or blonde bombshells
a brunette and bombshells areintelligent. You know, Jayne
Mansfield, who is the you know,the classic? Yes, right, the
(27:12):
classic a dumb blonde bombshell.
She had an IQ of 165. And shewas very determined to get that
she wanted to be that the dumbbump bombshells, nobody put her
in that she put herself there.
Heidi Lamar was a bombshell inthe 40s. She was referred to as
(27:35):
a bombshell but she wasn't theclassic, you know, big busted.
And we have Wi Fi today, becauseof Heddy Lamarr. She was
brilliant. She had an extremelyhigh IQ. And she gave during the
war. Her her Wi Fi, you know,she came up with the idea that
(27:56):
she developed a code, right, shedeveloped the code, and they
didn't exactly use it right thenand there. But then it was
tweaked or whatever into what wehave as today. So you can be a
bombshell and still beintelligent, and still be
classy, and still be elegant,etc. So now to answer your
question. Yes, there's, look, wehave been, we have been abused
(28:22):
and bashed and disrespected asfemales since the beginning of
time. We know that. And we arefighting for respect. And, but
there's not a female on thisearth that doesn't want to be
admired and get respectfulattention. It is why we get
(28:42):
dressed and we do put makeup onand we we like to be looked at
that's part of the feminine. Shelikes to shine. She likes to
radiate, she wants to benoticed. And it gets suppressed
because we're so fearful of thedisrespectful comments, were the
snide remarks, were afraid ofthe other woman saying who does
(29:04):
she thinks she is looking aretrying to get ahead and get the
boss's attention, all thisstuff. And when we originally
spoke, Mary, I told you thislittle quick story of in a
Facebook room that I was in, awoman commented that she went to
work today. And a man told herher a co worker commented how
(29:24):
nice she looked. And somebodyelse immediately said call human
resources on him that is notappropriate and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. You know, Idon't know what has happened. No
matter what era we're in, Idon't care if it's 1913 or 2021.
It doesn't matter. There'sfemales and males on this
(29:46):
planet. And there's, there'sattraction, you know, and you
can and you should be able tosay to somebody, you look nice
today. You know, without itbeing a sexual you know,
disrespectful, disrespectful,you know, I don't understand
(30:07):
what's happening. It's, it's,it's not right. You know, I just
think that it's unfair, it'sunfair to both sexes, that we,
we have to walk around withturtlenecks and paper bags over
our heads or no makeup or we canshine. But in all fairness to
you know, the men have to learnhow to address a woman, how to
(30:28):
respectfully address a woman.
And as women, I believe that weknow when it's respectful, and
when it's disrespectful, you cantake anything and say anything
and turn it into somedisrespectful it or say it in a
sexual way. You know, you couldsay, look, the sun is shining
(30:49):
today. And if you say it in acertain way, it's going to sound
creepy. And you can say, Mary,you look really nice today and
be respectful and it not soundcreepy. So
LTP (31:02):
Ah, yeah. So you think it's more related to emotional
intelligence and kind of payingattention to the people around
you than the actual words thatyou use?
Dee Mahon (31:12):
I believe that men should learn how to seriously I
think men, little boys have togrow up respecting females,
first of all, respectingfemales, these are, these are we
come in to this world to, youknow, we we we carry life, we
(31:34):
bring life, there is nothingmore important than the female,
you know, and we need to berespected whether or not we give
I don't have human children,I've animal children. But I'm
still a female. And I'm a womanand we need to be respected a
little boys need to grow upknowing the value and the beauty
(31:55):
that is the female on thisplanet and what we bring here
and under no circumstances arewe to be touched
inappropriately, ordisrespected, in any way, shape,
or form. And from that, iflittle boys grow up into men,
knowing that their approach towomen will be completely
different, but I don't think weneed to stop opening doors for
(32:18):
women or pulling chairs out forwomen. I mean, I would hope
that, that our Madam VicePresident, you know, even though
she is in this position, now,somebody's still gonna open the
door for her if you know, ifthere's a man around that she
she, you know, obviously she canopen the door herself. But it's
just a form of respect, Ibelieve, for the female, that
(32:41):
when doors are opened, and andshares are pulled out, and
things like that for for thewoman doesn't matter what
position you're in, or if youmake more money than the man or,
you know, I think it'srespectful.
LTP (32:53):
Absolutely. And I think the respect piece is huge respect is
something that really everyonedeserves, it doesn't matter what
you look like, doesn't matterwhat you believe you deserve to
be respected as a human being.
Unknown (33:05):
I'd be curious, I'm sorry, I just want to say one
more thing on the thought. Womenhave to learn how to better
carry themselves. And men haveto learn how to be more
respectful. And what when thathappens, then I think that, you
know, we can reach a pointwhere, because right now, I
think women are playingthemselves down. We're hiding,
(33:28):
because we're afraid to shineour light for both the the the
female remarks and the maleremarks. And we should not
change who we are. We should notdim ourselves down, dumb
ourselves down, or, you know,dim our light in order to not be
disrespected. We should beourselves in full force, you
(33:50):
know, but carry ourselves withdignity and class and
confidence. And men have tolearn how to respond to that.
It's not us that have to change.
It's the men that have tochange.
LTP (34:00):
Well, I want to I want to ask you about that. Because I
agree that the respect piece isabsolutely universal, and it has
to happen. But I'd be curiousyour thoughts on so I know a lot
of men who are good people whoare respectful people who in
interacting with women who feelvery strongly about some of
these issues have had their headbitten off had been a few things
or those kinds of, you know,where where the pendulum has
(34:24):
swung so far, that they'rebackpedaling, when they were
trying to make did come from aplace of respect, and admiration
and you know, from a good place.
So what advice would you havefor men or for women, in trying
to create that, that mutualrespect so that the man is given
the benefit benefit of the doubtwhen he deserves it? So the man
can speak in a way that createsrapport instead of barriers?
(34:46):
What do you think about that?
Dee Mahon (34:49):
Well, yes, you know, I love men. I don't want to live
on an on a planet without men. Ilove men, the good men, you
know, we know there are good menwe know there are kind Decent,
helpful, respectful men in thisworld, thank you for being here
on this planet with us. And, andthat is sad. And I always try to
(35:10):
explain to the woman, you know,it's I think, you know, I grew
up seeing, I grew up seeing therespectful men, you know, taking
care of the woman, the standingoutside, you know, down, walking
down the sidewalk, the manstands up on the outer towards
(35:32):
the car. So if a car comes, he'sthe one or taking a handkerchief
out. And I mean, the wholereason a man carries a
handkerchief, not the outside,but the inside with him in his
inner pocket, is to be able togive it to a female if she needs
it for whatever to clean a parkbench off, or if she's
sniffling, or whatever. So allthose charming little things I
(35:53):
love and you don't see themanymore. And you know, men are
afraid to open a door for awoman or pull out a chair,
because the woman is like, what?
I've seen it with my own eyes.
What's What's the matter? Youthink I can't like open a door?
Oh, my goodness, you know, Ifeel for the man. Yeah. Women
have a wounded feminine, youknow. But I asked the man to
(36:15):
please try to understand wherethe woman's coming from, and how
she has been disrespected. Forso long that she's afraid. She's
She's just afraid it's just awound that she has. But yeah, I
wish that women wouldn't dothat. I wish they would see it
because they see it as they seeit differently than what it
(36:38):
really is. to the man, it's asign of respect. I want to open
the door for you because the manis here to serve and help be
helpful to the female. And so hejust wants to open the door pull
that she wants to be a gentlemanhe fee he was taught that that's
what women like those things,and to get your head bit off. So
(36:59):
yeah, we have to, we have to,you know, teach the woman that
it's a sign of respect. It's nota sign of disrespect, when when
somebody's doing that.
LTP (37:10):
So, looking back at kind of where you've been, and how far
you've come in, and it soundslike you're feeling pretty good
about where you are now, whatadvice would you give to someone
who finds themself looking athurdles, or still trying to find
where they're meant to be?
Dee Mahon (37:30):
Don't fear, do not give up hope. I believe that
anybody can rise up, you know,I'm also a widow too. I lost my
husband. We were together eventhough I picked myself up at 47.
And I moved us to separate aseparate living conditions. We
were still married, and he wasstill in my life, you know, for
(37:54):
till his death. So next month,it'll be 10 years that I have
been a widow. And I've alsoovercome being caregiver and
losing both my father and mymother. And most recently, one
of my dogs she passed eightmonths ago. There's always
challenges, but there's alwayshope you could always rise up,
(38:18):
you could always reinvent. I wasvery frumpy, in my 50s and very
challenged and very depressed inmy 50s. And now I turned 63 in
two months. And I am completelyI you know, I found where I'm
supposed to be. It was a longjourney. But I found my happy
(38:38):
place. I feel good. I look good.
I have a profile upon match asof four days ago, okay, so don't
ever give up. Hope you just keeplearning. Keep experiencing and
keep digging in deep journaling.
Trying to, you'll find you will,you'll find your way. There.
(38:58):
Everybody on this planet has apurpose. And you can turn all
your obstacles and all your messand you know what they say your
turn your message, your message,turn your pain into your
purpose. We all have pain. We'veall had challenges, we've all
had grief. And we've all hadstruggles. But you could always
(39:23):
reinvent you could always riseup you could always level up and
you can always improve andthere's always hope.
LTP (39:33):
That's amazing. I love that thank you so much for being here
today. I've had a great timetalking to you. The podcast is
"High Vibe Bombshell". Ad your book was called "Glam
rous."
Dee Mahon (39:46):
Yes, "Glamorous" and it's one woman's journey through
adversity addiction andloneliness to find herself worth
through glamp the first half ofthe book is the journey. It
tells the story and my my myjourney and Then the second half
is the glamour and why I pushedcourt towards glamour, why we
really need to bring glamourback glamour and elegance. And
(40:08):
there's a chapter on skincarechapter on makeup, a chapter on
bringing lifestyle tweaks intoyour, your everyday life in your
home. And then the very lastchapter is a list. It's only a
partial list because my editorsaid you need to stop. I could
have kept going a list of myfavorite actresses and the
movies, my favorite movies of myfavorite actresses and why I
(40:31):
love them.
LTP (40:31):
that's fantastic
Dee Mahon (40:32):
on Amazon.
LTP (40:34):
Thank you so much for chatting with me today. I really
enjoyed it.
Dee Mahon (40:39):
Thank you, Mary for having me.
LTP (40:43):
So that's our discussion with D man regarding bombshell
behaviors, overcoming adversity,and living your life the way
it's most authentic for you. Ifyou liked the discussion today,
please give it a LIKE, SUBSCRIBEor share. If not, tell me what
can do better. If you'd like tlearn more about Dee check out
er book Glamorous, wherever boks are sold, or her podcast "Hig
(41:06):
Vibe Bombshell". This week,take a little time to look at yo
rself. Do you feel confident? Ordo you feel insecure? What th
ngs in your life what times of yur day what outfits what peop
e make you feel the best, te most powerful, the most you w
atever they are, play them up,find a way to maximize that fe
(41:30):
l good about who you are. If thre are times or people or
ven an outfit that don't make yu feel great, then maybe it's
ime to minimize their presencen your life. There's no rule
or how you're supposed to look,or act or dress or feel to
e your best. Only you can definthat. But spend some time th
(41:54):
s week figuring out what thalooks like for you. Because t
e more you own the greatnesshat is you, the more you'
l find success. And regardlessf what success means to you,
t will never feel real unlessou can embrace it as you tru
y are. Thanks again for joininLevel the Pursuit. Well, w
can't choose where we start.
We can choose our dreams andhow we pursue them. Remember,
(42:16):
uccess is a team sport and theres room for all of us to achi
ve our goals. So be a good leade. Be a good follower, And Do S
In the race to success, we're not all starting from the
same place. Level the Pursuitseeks to fill in the gaps and
provide accessible bite sizedleadership lessons for anyone
looking to improve their skillsand prepare for the next step.
whatever that might be.
Welcome back, peeps. I hopeyou're having a fantastic week.
Now, last week, we talked aboutthe Highlander mentality and
(00:25):
really realizing that very fewpeople get to the top on their
own, but no one can stay thatway. So the more we surround
ourselves with good, strong,smart, ambitious people, the
better off we all are. Successreally is a team sport, you
cannot get there alone, youcannot stay there alone. And
really, if you want to be thebest, you have to surround
(00:47):
yourself with the best. So asyou move forward in your life,
make sure you're taking thosegood people along with you. Now
today we have a treat, we'regoing to talk to Ms Dierdre
Mahon. She is a makeup artistand author and a woman's life
coach who has amazingperspectives on a ton of
different things. But her focusis empowering women through
(01:09):
making them look and feel likebombshells. Now this isn't just
about how you look on theoutside, but it's about being
unapologetically you, andfeeling good about yourself no
matter what. And I think this isthe lesson all of us can learn
from. So whether you agree ordisagree with the concepts we
talked about today, I would loveto hear it. But in either case,
(01:31):
she has some great things to sayand I'm excited to share this
conversation with you.
Today, we're joined by Dee whois the host of high vibe
bombshell podcast. And she is aglam makeup artist who is
focused on empowering women notjust through makeup and glam,
but through beingunapologetically wonderful in
(01:52):
who they are. And so we're solucky to have her here and hear
a little bit about her journeyand her leadership perspectives.
So Dee, thank you so much forbeing here. We're so happy to
have you.
Dee Mahon (02:01):
Hi, Mary, thank you so much for having me here.
LTP (02:06):
We're gonna get through this, we're technology will not
meet us down today.
Dee Mahon (02:12):
And those who know me know, technology and sound like
my strong, strong suit. Soanyway, it's nice to meet you.
LTP (02:22):
Nice to meet you as well.
So glam is a really cool placeto be. It's not necessarily as
in vogue now as it was back inthe day. But obviously there are
still a place for feelingempowered, feeling beautiful.
And, and it's interesting tohave that be your focus of how
you do your leadership coachingand how you empower women. Can
(02:43):
you tell us a little bit abouthow that started and where it
came from?
Dee Mahon (02:50):
Yes, so as a little girl, I was very shy. And I
bonded very closely with my mom,my father was a good provider,
but he was emotionally absent,and always working. And I felt
unseen by him and invisible. Ihad a little bit of low self
(03:11):
esteem, being shy, etc. So Ibonded very closely with my mom
from about an age of seven,eight, I would sit and watch her
beloved old Hollywood movies. SoI like to say to people that I
was raised on them, becausethey're a part of my DNA as much
as anything else. I absorbed allthe beauty and the glamour and
(03:32):
the elegance of this era. Andthough the movies themselves
were actually made up, but theerror was very real. The clothes
were the movie, the makeup, etc.
How these women held themselvesand presented themselves, their
body language of the clotheswere very real. And I just I
loved it. I loved the femininepower that these women had. And
(03:53):
I particularly resonated withthe bombshell because she was
unapologetic in her sensualityand her sexuality. And so I knew
that beauty and makeup andglamour somehow would be a part
of my life. I grew up watchingall my reading all my glamour
magazines every month etc.
(04:16):
Playing with makeup. After highschool I got my cosmeticians
license, I freelanced forseveral Estee Lauder Lancome, in
particular in the New York CityDepartment Stores. And I got
burnt out after several yearsbecause I really just wanted to
help women look and feel good. Ididn't want the sales end of it.
I didn't want to pressure theminto buying makeup that they did
(04:39):
not need. So I answered an ad inthe paper. I started into
corporate for many years, I wasa front receptionist met my
future husband there and took adetour at the age of 26. He
found out that even though hewas the love of my life and a
beautiful, decent, kind lovinghuman being that we had much
(05:00):
common with, I found out he hada cocaine problem. And I thought
that I'd be able to save him.
And when I couldn't save him on,I couldn't leave him, I started
doing the drugs with him. Andthat took me down a different
path of nothingness for 20years, bouncing from one job to
the next and just jobs. But Iknew, I knew in my gut, I knew
in my soul that I wanted more,and I was made for more. At
(05:23):
around three, four o'clock inthe morning, I remember watching
this infomercial that was fromAlexis Vogel, who was, she's
passed on now, but she wasPamela Anderson's makeup artist.
And she gave Pamela, thebombshell look, she took her
from the Baywatch beauty andturned into a bombshell. And she
had a line of cosmetics that shewas be doing before and afters
(05:47):
on what regular women just likeyou and me, they weren't models,
they weren't actresses. And thenthese women would be given the
mirror afterwards. And theywould just be floored. They just
couldn't believe that they couldlook this way. They never saw
that themselves beyond being amother or a wife, or boss. They
didn't see themselves as anempowered, feminine, sexy woman.
(06:10):
I said, If I could ever get outof this dark place, that's what
I want to do for women. And so Idid fast forward, I got out at
47 got my apartment, started myown cosmetic company and I got
into bridal for the last 16years. But many times I would
see that women even brides evenyounger didn't matter what age,
(06:34):
they could be 25, they could be45, they could be 55. Many times
their vision of what they wantedto look like, wasn't meeting
what they felt like inside. AndI realized that it's the two has
to be together, your innerconfidence and your outer
confidence. You don't getconfidence by just putting a
dress on or putting high heelson or putting shimmer on your
(06:56):
cheeks or lipstick. It has tocome from inside. It's your body
language. It's It's It'severything. It's the whole of
you to be a whole full package.
And so I started doing feminineconfidence coaching as well.
LTP (07:15):
Wow. Fantastic. Thank you for sharing that. So there are a
lot of people that have bighurdles in their lives, whether
things they couldn't control orthings they could and I have to
think that there were times whenyou were using the cocaine where
it seemed like you were nevergoing to escape from that
(07:36):
lifestyle. Can you tell us alittle bit about how that felt
and what you did to get throughit.
Dee Mahon (07:42):
I had many days where I thought that this was it. This
is the rest of my life. I don'tknow how to get out of here.
Because I had before I had metmy Michael. And I refer to him
as my Michael. Because by thethird day that I I met him I was
(08:03):
smitten, I got literally hit bythe cliche the lightning bolt, I
felt a current of electricityshoot through my body. I felt
that I knew I was so comfortablewith him immediately. And felt
that I knew him my entire life.
And I was still kind of shy anda little awkward. Even though at
26, which is when I met him, Istill had more outer confidence
(08:28):
than I had inner confidence, youknow, and I felt that God put
before meeting him, o man wouldever disrespect me. I would
never put up with anything. Butbecause I was so connected with
him on a spiritual level. I feltthat God put me here for to save
him. That was my purpose. Andlike I said, when I couldn't
(08:52):
save him, I started doing itwith him. But I couldn't leave
him I didn't know how I wasgoing to stop. I just couldn't
leave him and I had thoughts ofsuicide by maybe year 15. And I
would watch Oprah many many daysbut I couldn't get out of bed
(09:13):
until I watched Oprah. She wasmy personal development, my
first personal development, youknow, and I'd read books and
during the day, I would beproductive. I would write my
journals and one step forwardand then two steps backwards,
one step forward two stepsbackwards. It's hard to explain
to another person in just acouple of minutes, but I just
(09:35):
knew I was destined for more Iwas determined for more at
around 45 I think around 43 Istopped doing the drugs but he
was still doing the drugs. And Ithat's when the first stirring
happened inside of me thathappens in many women it happens
in midlife when they reach their40s there is a stirring that We
(09:57):
know we're cold for more that weneed to, we need to answer that
calling. And around 45, I had afull blown panic attack. I was
like, I was anxious. I waspacing. I was I couldn't sleep.
And I called my father and myfather said, dd tomorrow, you'll
(10:19):
just get the newspaper. That'sall you have to do. Because I
was like, Daddy, I have to getout of here. I don't know what
to do I want to get out of here.
I don't know what to do. BecauseI can't leave him. How can I
leave him? You know, I'mextremely loyal and committed,
and I love him. And how do I howdo I leave him. But there comes
(10:41):
a point in your life, that youhave to realize that you cannot
save somebody else, you can onlysave yourself. And these are
what these are life lessons. Youknow, these are one of the
lessons we have to learn in ourlives. It took me 20 years.
Sometimes it doesn't take awoman that long. But you do have
to realize at some point, youcannot change another person,
(11:03):
you cannot save another person,the only person that's changes,
and many times not for the rightreasons is yourself. You change.
And then you have to saveyourself. And my father said
Didi tomorrow, you'll just get anewspaper. And you'll start
there. And that's what I did. Igot a newspaper and I found an
apartment. And that's how,that's how I got out.
LTP (11:26):
So it sounds like there were a lot of days that you
maybe didn't feel like you hadoptions. But you still had
something inside that said therewas going to be more.
Dee Mahon (11:38):
Yes, I you know, as you grow and evolve as a human
being, you, you many times don'tknow what their calling is where
but you know that you have acalling. And I remember hearing
Elizabeth Gilbert speak once shewas on stage with Oprah. And she
spoke about the hummingbird herHummingbird story that I now
(12:01):
pass on to others. And hopefullyyour listeners and my listeners
will get something out of thisbecause I am also in some over
4040 plus groups on Facebook.
And this is a typical questionthat you hear many times as I
say women in their 40s it startshappening mid 40s, definitely by
your 50s you're like, I want todo something I know I'm called
(12:23):
for something I have a stirringbut I'm confused. I don't know
what to do. I don't know what mygifts are. I don't know what my
strengths are. I've always justbeen a mom or wife or, and I say
to them, I tell them thehummingbird story that helped
me. So I always felt like aloser. Why do other people feel
like they found their callingand they're happy and and
(12:43):
they're they found theirpassion? And here I am I just
going from one boring job to thenext boring job and doing
nothing with my life. What aloser am I. And then Elizabeth
said, some people come into thisworld knowing exactly from day
one, they're going to be aballerina or a doctor or
whatever. And they stay on thatcourse their whole life. And
(13:07):
other people are likehummingbirds. They have to go
from this job, that job and thistree and that tree and that
flower and that fly. And theyjust take a longer time. Their
journey is not one straightline. It's like it's all over
the place. And I realized, yes,I'm like a hummingbird. I'm not
a loser. I'm a hummingbird. AndI realized in that moment that
(13:30):
even though I wasn't sure maybeyet exactly where I should fit
into this world, I knew thatevery job even every boring job,
every bad boss I ever had, everystupid coworker I ever worked
with, or, you know, every jobthat I had, that wasn't my
passion, taught me something ittaught me. You know, you can
(13:53):
learn a lot about what you don'twant just as much as what you do
want. And you can you find yourway sort of the back through the
back door rather than the frontfront door. And you learn about
what kind of person you don'twant to be what kind of boss you
don't want to be, what kind ofjob that you're not good at. And
that will lead you to knowingwho you are and what you are
(14:19):
good at what your strengths are.
And I knew I was meant somehowto be in front of people and
helping women and being amotivational speaker. I admired
Oprah so much that she had thatplatform and that she could help
women and she did help women.
And she helped me there weremany times I couldn't get out of
(14:41):
bed until her show came on atfour o'clock and then all of a
sudden the energy came throughand I was like you know what i
can get out of this. I am goingto get out of this. I you know,
so that's what I want to do forother women and I knew I
couldn't stay in corporate. I amnot meant to sit behind a desk.
I'm meant to shine.
Unknown (15:04):
And so I agree with everything you just said, I
definitely feel that way, I havehad lots of different jobs that
I absolutely think I went from.
I started sewing when I was 14making my own clothes, for a lot
of reasons, went intohospitality for years, graduated
from college and became afirefighter, and then went into
medical school to become asurgeon. And I can tell you
(15:26):
discrete things in each of thosethings that absolutely
contributed to my being betterat the next job-- no question,
as unrelated as they seem. Andpeople are like, Man, you can't
focus on one thing. But everyone of them has, absolutely.
And so that's one of the thingsI try to talk to my listeners
about is understanding thateverything is contributing,. One
thing that I think reallyresonated just now you talked
(15:55):
about kind of being in your 40s.
And feeling like you haven'tfound your purpose, and where
are you, but I think, you know,I have listeners that are in
their 20s and 30s and 40s, Ithink we have a lot of young
people that feel the same waythat feel like they're supposed
to, especially when you havethese young tech people or you
know, people that are gettinginto because industry is
exploding in so many differentways. People are getting rich at
(16:16):
15 or 12, or whatever, you know,and I feel like there's a lot of
people that feel like, ifthey're in high school or
college or just graduated,they're supposed to have already
accomplished something. And so Ithink that feeling of not being
sure what your purpose is, is, Iagree that we have we feel it
more as kind of you look back onyour life and you think, Okay,
what have I accomplished, but Ithink a lot of young people are
(16:38):
struggling with that as well.
Dee Mahon (16:40):
It's a different era, you know, when I was in my 20s,
there was no internet andclubhouse and instagramming
there's so I feel I do feel forthe young generation, because
they're over loaded with so muchand comparing themselves to Hey,
(17:05):
you know, when I was 20, Icompared myself to Susan Hayward
and Lana Turner, you know, nowthis is there, some millions of
people on Instagram that thesepoor, young girls in their 20s
are comparing themselves to.
And, you know, you'll find yourway, you'll find your way you
(17:25):
really will, you. And the otherthing that I want to say is that
you can't be influenced. I knowit's easier said than done, but
you just can't be influenced byfamily or friends that mean
well, you are your ownindividual human being. You come
into this world, you know,you're attached to your mother
(17:47):
by the umbilical cord. But oncethat is cut, you are no longer
attached to your mom. And you'reinfluenced by many people, but
you are your own soul. You camehere to find your way and your
mission and your purpose and youhave your own goals and your own
(18:07):
dreams and your own personality.
And you cannot let yourself beswayed by what other people want
for you. So stand stand yourground and and it you know will
happen
LTP (18:25):
So speaking of purpose let's let's talk a little bit
about your so we we had chatteda little bit before, but there's
a kind of a backlash a littlebit. There's a feeling that
you're not supposed to have tofeel feminine in order to feel
like a woman you don't have towear a dress or wear makeup or
(18:47):
wear heels in order to be theembodiment of a feminine view or
of womanhood. I agree with Ithink we should all you should
you should be the woman that youneed to be whatever, however
that looks for you. But I knowfor me personally, if I'm tired
if I'm stressed if I'm nervousabout something I'm going to put
(19:09):
on a full face of makeup I'mgoing to maybe my hair looks
exactly the same but I'm goingto spend a little bit more time
on it My hair looks the sameevery day for work because I
have to wear it certain ways butI do I do feel more powerful
when I'm a little bit glammedup. And I know other people that
feel more powerful when they'rewearing, you know, some sensible
shoes and no makeup and hair ina bun and they that that's
(19:31):
that's rocking it for them. Andso I don't think there's a right
or wrong answer to that. But Ithink playing up how you feel
most powerful is a good thing.
So how do you see that in theglam world do you have do you
deal with the backlash or mostpeople pretty like yeah, this is
this is what I'm excited about?
Dee Mahon (19:47):
Yeah, this is the age old story of a society. Men,
women all kind of fashion Thefemale you know she's not good
enough she's not tall enoughshe's not heavy enough she's not
(20:08):
this enough. She is right we getit from everywhere we turn. And
my my message is not that eventhough I resonated you know, I
grew up a girly girl I had asister, an older sister, who
kind of put me down and made funof me because she was not. She
had a wounded feminine somehowsomething happened. And you
(20:30):
know, she, she she was moregirly in her teens in her 20s.
But she she was more tomboy, youknow, I think she was wearing
the makeup, whatever it was, wasexpected of her and it came
natural to me it didn't comenatural to her. And that's okay.
(20:54):
I'm not saying that all womenhave to be girly and wear frilly
dresses, and we all come intothis world with our own, you
know, idea of what femininityis, for me, I resonated like I
said, with a bombshell. Mymessage is not that all women
have to be bombshells. Mymessage is that you get to be
(21:16):
how you want to be. But don'tput other women down for not
being who you are. You know, Iwon't put another woman down
because she feels like alwayswearing her hair and about bond
and flat shoes. But I don't wanther to put me down because I
choose to wear a full face ofmakeup and perfume or wood. So
(21:37):
let's stop with the Who does shethink she is? Okay, because
we've all experienced it. Stopit. Okay, we have to start
addressing women as the queenand me sees the queen in you
rather than Who does she thinkshe is right. Oh, so yes,
independence and feminism andall that stuff is we get to be
(22:01):
the female we want to be in thisworld. But we should not be
afraid to be a certain type offemale, you know, the girly
female because of who does? Shethinks she is? That's my
message. So if somebodyresonates with the when I say
unleash your inner bombshell, weall I feel have an inner
(22:23):
bombshell, that we'resuppressing it because society
says good girls Shouldn't youknow be bombshells and men
think, act differently towardsthe bombshell, you know, and
other women have to Oh, I'mgoing to lunch with the girls
today. But they're all going toshow up in jeans and a
sweatshirt no makeup, so I guessI have to tone myself. No, no,
(22:47):
no, no, no, no. If yourpersonality is a bombshell, then
shine it, you know, shine it andwhoever doesn't like that is not
your people, male or female, youknow, if they have to put you
down or shame you for somethingthat comes naturally to you,
then they're not your people.
And vice versa. If you're goingto be around people that are
(23:09):
saying, well, you're alwayswearing pants, put some makeup
on. But it is true that we livein a society that we make first
impressions. You know, our firstimpressions are by our parents,
how we speak how we carryourselves how, how our grooming
is, so we do have to care aboutour grooming. And it doesn't
(23:31):
necessarily have to be a fullface of makeup, we all look a
little healthier, if our undereye circles are a little covered
or we have a little gloss on ourteeth and our eyebrows are
filled in to give us definitionon the face. So there's nothing
wrong with makeup.
LTP (23:50):
No, I agree and you know makeup has branched out where
there are a lot of men that areusing makeup to some extent to
accentuate their appearance andto kind of have the same kind of
things I mean sometimes fullface but a lot of times just to
fill in the eyebrows or fillingyou know just even out there
skin tone things like that. Soyou know I can understand why I
know people I've heard peoplejudging that behavior but also
(24:13):
think why not?
Dee Mahon (24:14):
You know, logically it makes complete sense now I've
always been you know, I I liketo be a feminine woman. I so I
like a masculine man that cancomplement my feminine. But I
love a man that's well groomedand has you know, takes care of
his nails and puts a littleclear nail polish on his you
(24:35):
know, where's aftershave and allthat stuff. But I have to tell
you, I don't know. Like Ilogically I'm just standing but
if I saw my boyfriend or myhusband putting on like,
contour, be like, what are youdoing? Yeah, I think
LTP (24:54):
I think like anything, it probably takes getting used to..
You brought up And I want to goback to that. So a lot of my
listeners are male. And I thinkthat the glam and the
femininity, especially in theworkplace can be a challenge for
a lot of men, because they'renot sure you know, take bias and
(25:14):
take the the judgement ofcompetence and all those things
aside because hopefully we'llwork through those. But for a
woman or a man, if someone comesin looking beautiful, we have
created our, in our society, wewere in a place where you can't
say "Wow, you look beautifultoday." It that's, that's not
seen as being a positive thing.
Now obviously, making specificcomments about someone's actual
(25:36):
physical attributes or you know,those comments can obviously get
very inappropriate. But there'sa lot of circumstances where
people feel uncomfortable evensaying, "You look lovely today."
Like "I really like the wayyou've worn your makeup or your
you look quite flattering." Sowhat have you seen or what are
your thoughts on the difficultywith kind of interacting with
that femininity in theworkplace?
Dee Mahon (26:01):
Okay, good question.
And I just want to because Ijust want to bring up this one,
I want to make clear somethingbecause I use the term
bombshell. Most people don'tunderstand the term bombshell
when you say bombshell,especially to the younger
generation, they probably arethinking big boobs, blonde hair.
Dumb, you know, and that is nota bombshell. If you look up the
(26:27):
word bombshell in thedictionary, it just means an
extremely attractive woman. Youknow, it means like, wow, you
know, like, look at this woman.
It's a woman who turns headsbecause she radiates she
radiates femininity, sheradiates confidence. She's well
groomed and well put togetherthat's a bombshell. bombshells
(26:49):
come in all shapes and sizes.
You all Ah, you know, Mae Westwasn't a bombshell until she was
40 and she was considered abombshell even into her 80s
before she passed, butbombshells are smaller chested
bombshells or larger chestedbombshells or blonde bombshells
a brunette and bombshells areintelligent. You know, Jayne
Mansfield, who is the you know,the classic? Yes, right, the
(27:12):
classic a dumb blonde bombshell.
She had an IQ of 165. And shewas very determined to get that
she wanted to be that the dumbbump bombshells, nobody put her
in that she put herself there.
Heidi Lamar was a bombshell inthe 40s. She was referred to as
(27:35):
a bombshell but she wasn't theclassic, you know, big busted.
And we have Wi Fi today, becauseof Heddy Lamarr. She was
brilliant. She had an extremelyhigh IQ. And she gave during the
war. Her her Wi Fi, you know,she came up with the idea that
(27:56):
she developed a code, right, shedeveloped the code, and they
didn't exactly use it right thenand there. But then it was
tweaked or whatever into what wehave as today. So you can be a
bombshell and still beintelligent, and still be
classy, and still be elegant,etc. So now to answer your
question. Yes, there's, look, wehave been, we have been abused
(28:22):
and bashed and disrespected asfemales since the beginning of
time. We know that. And we arefighting for respect. And, but
there's not a female on thisearth that doesn't want to be
admired and get respectfulattention. It is why we get
(28:42):
dressed and we do put makeup onand we we like to be looked at
that's part of the feminine. Shelikes to shine. She likes to
radiate, she wants to benoticed. And it gets suppressed
because we're so fearful of thedisrespectful comments, were the
snide remarks, were afraid ofthe other woman saying who does
(29:04):
she thinks she is looking aretrying to get ahead and get the
boss's attention, all thisstuff. And when we originally
spoke, Mary, I told you thislittle quick story of in a
Facebook room that I was in, awoman commented that she went to
work today. And a man told herher a co worker commented how
(29:24):
nice she looked. And somebodyelse immediately said call human
resources on him that is notappropriate and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. You know, Idon't know what has happened. No
matter what era we're in, Idon't care if it's 1913 or 2021.
It doesn't matter. There'sfemales and males on this
(29:46):
planet. And there's, there'sattraction, you know, and you
can and you should be able tosay to somebody, you look nice
today. You know, without itbeing a sexual you know,
disrespectful, disrespectful,you know, I don't understand
(30:07):
what's happening. It's, it's,it's not right. You know, I just
think that it's unfair, it'sunfair to both sexes, that we,
we have to walk around withturtlenecks and paper bags over
our heads or no makeup or we canshine. But in all fairness to
you know, the men have to learnhow to address a woman, how to
(30:28):
respectfully address a woman.
And as women, I believe that weknow when it's respectful, and
when it's disrespectful, you cantake anything and say anything
and turn it into somedisrespectful it or say it in a
sexual way. You know, you couldsay, look, the sun is shining
(30:49):
today. And if you say it in acertain way, it's going to sound
creepy. And you can say, Mary,you look really nice today and
be respectful and it not soundcreepy. So
LTP (31:02):
Ah, yeah. So you think it's more related to emotional
intelligence and kind of payingattention to the people around
you than the actual words thatyou use?
Dee Mahon (31:12):
I believe that men should learn how to seriously I
think men, little boys have togrow up respecting females,
first of all, respectingfemales, these are, these are we
come in to this world to, youknow, we we we carry life, we
(31:34):
bring life, there is nothingmore important than the female,
you know, and we need to berespected whether or not we give
I don't have human children,I've animal children. But I'm
still a female. And I'm a womanand we need to be respected a
little boys need to grow upknowing the value and the beauty
(31:55):
that is the female on thisplanet and what we bring here
and under no circumstances arewe to be touched
inappropriately, ordisrespected, in any way, shape,
or form. And from that, iflittle boys grow up into men,
knowing that their approach towomen will be completely
different, but I don't think weneed to stop opening doors for
(32:18):
women or pulling chairs out forwomen. I mean, I would hope
that, that our Madam VicePresident, you know, even though
she is in this position, now,somebody's still gonna open the
door for her if you know, ifthere's a man around that she
she, you know, obviously she canopen the door herself. But it's
just a form of respect, Ibelieve, for the female, that
(32:41):
when doors are opened, and andshares are pulled out, and
things like that for for thewoman doesn't matter what
position you're in, or if youmake more money than the man or,
you know, I think it'srespectful.
LTP (32:53):
Absolutely. And I think the respect piece is huge respect is
something that really everyonedeserves, it doesn't matter what
you look like, doesn't matterwhat you believe you deserve to
be respected as a human being.
Unknown (33:05):
I'd be curious, I'm sorry, I just want to say one
more thing on the thought. Womenhave to learn how to better
carry themselves. And men haveto learn how to be more
respectful. And what when thathappens, then I think that, you
know, we can reach a pointwhere, because right now, I
think women are playingthemselves down. We're hiding,
(33:28):
because we're afraid to shineour light for both the the the
female remarks and the maleremarks. And we should not
change who we are. We should notdim ourselves down, dumb
ourselves down, or, you know,dim our light in order to not be
disrespected. We should beourselves in full force, you
(33:50):
know, but carry ourselves withdignity and class and
confidence. And men have tolearn how to respond to that.
It's not us that have to change.
It's the men that have tochange.
LTP (34:00):
Well, I want to I want to ask you about that. Because I
agree that the respect piece isabsolutely universal, and it has
to happen. But I'd be curiousyour thoughts on so I know a lot
of men who are good people whoare respectful people who in
interacting with women who feelvery strongly about some of
these issues have had their headbitten off had been a few things
or those kinds of, you know,where where the pendulum has
(34:24):
swung so far, that they'rebackpedaling, when they were
trying to make did come from aplace of respect, and admiration
and you know, from a good place.
So what advice would you havefor men or for women, in trying
to create that, that mutualrespect so that the man is given
the benefit benefit of the doubtwhen he deserves it? So the man
can speak in a way that createsrapport instead of barriers?
(34:46):
What do you think about that?
Dee Mahon (34:49):
Well, yes, you know, I love men. I don't want to live
on an on a planet without men. Ilove men, the good men, you
know, we know there are good menwe know there are kind Decent,
helpful, respectful men in thisworld, thank you for being here
on this planet with us. And, andthat is sad. And I always try to
(35:10):
explain to the woman, you know,it's I think, you know, I grew
up seeing, I grew up seeing therespectful men, you know, taking
care of the woman, the standingoutside, you know, down, walking
down the sidewalk, the manstands up on the outer towards
(35:32):
the car. So if a car comes, he'sthe one or taking a handkerchief
out. And I mean, the wholereason a man carries a
handkerchief, not the outside,but the inside with him in his
inner pocket, is to be able togive it to a female if she needs
it for whatever to clean a parkbench off, or if she's
sniffling, or whatever. So allthose charming little things I
(35:53):
love and you don't see themanymore. And you know, men are
afraid to open a door for awoman or pull out a chair,
because the woman is like, what?
I've seen it with my own eyes.
What's What's the matter? Youthink I can't like open a door?
Oh, my goodness, you know, Ifeel for the man. Yeah. Women
have a wounded feminine, youknow. But I asked the man to
(36:15):
please try to understand wherethe woman's coming from, and how
she has been disrespected. Forso long that she's afraid. She's
She's just afraid it's just awound that she has. But yeah, I
wish that women wouldn't dothat. I wish they would see it
because they see it as they seeit differently than what it
(36:38):
really is. to the man, it's asign of respect. I want to open
the door for you because the manis here to serve and help be
helpful to the female. And so hejust wants to open the door pull
that she wants to be a gentlemanhe fee he was taught that that's
what women like those things,and to get your head bit off. So
(36:59):
yeah, we have to, we have to,you know, teach the woman that
it's a sign of respect. It's nota sign of disrespect, when when
somebody's doing that.
LTP (37:10):
So, looking back at kind of where you've been, and how far
you've come in, and it soundslike you're feeling pretty good
about where you are now, whatadvice would you give to someone
who finds themself looking athurdles, or still trying to find
where they're meant to be?
Dee Mahon (37:30):
Don't fear, do not give up hope. I believe that
anybody can rise up, you know,I'm also a widow too. I lost my
husband. We were together eventhough I picked myself up at 47.
And I moved us to separate aseparate living conditions. We
were still married, and he wasstill in my life, you know, for
(37:54):
till his death. So next month,it'll be 10 years that I have
been a widow. And I've alsoovercome being caregiver and
losing both my father and mymother. And most recently, one
of my dogs she passed eightmonths ago. There's always
challenges, but there's alwayshope you could always rise up,
(38:18):
you could always reinvent. I wasvery frumpy, in my 50s and very
challenged and very depressed inmy 50s. And now I turned 63 in
two months. And I am completelyI you know, I found where I'm
supposed to be. It was a longjourney. But I found my happy
(38:38):
place. I feel good. I look good.
I have a profile upon match asof four days ago, okay, so don't
ever give up. Hope you just keeplearning. Keep experiencing and
keep digging in deep journaling.
Trying to, you'll find you will,you'll find your way. There.
(38:58):
Everybody on this planet has apurpose. And you can turn all
your obstacles and all your messand you know what they say your
turn your message, your message,turn your pain into your
purpose. We all have pain. We'veall had challenges, we've all
had grief. And we've all hadstruggles. But you could always
(39:23):
reinvent you could always riseup you could always level up and
you can always improve andthere's always hope.
LTP (39:33):
That's amazing. I love that thank you so much for being here
today. I've had a great timetalking to you. The podcast is
"High Vibe Bombshell". Ad your book was called "Glam
rous."
Dee Mahon (39:46):
Yes, "Glamorous" and it's one woman's journey through
adversity addiction andloneliness to find herself worth
through glamp the first half ofthe book is the journey. It
tells the story and my my myjourney and Then the second half
is the glamour and why I pushedcourt towards glamour, why we
really need to bring glamourback glamour and elegance. And
(40:08):
there's a chapter on skincarechapter on makeup, a chapter on
bringing lifestyle tweaks intoyour, your everyday life in your
home. And then the very lastchapter is a list. It's only a
partial list because my editorsaid you need to stop. I could
have kept going a list of myfavorite actresses and the
movies, my favorite movies of myfavorite actresses and why I
(40:31):
love them.
LTP (40:31):
that's fantastic
Dee Mahon (40:32):
on Amazon.
LTP (40:34):
Thank you so much for chatting with me today. I really
enjoyed it.
Dee Mahon (40:39):
Thank you, Mary for having me.
LTP (40:43):
So that's our discussion with D man regarding bombshell
behaviors, overcoming adversity,and living your life the way
it's most authentic for you. Ifyou liked the discussion today,
please give it a LIKE, SUBSCRIBEor share. If not, tell me what
can do better. If you'd like tlearn more about Dee check out
er book Glamorous, wherever boks are sold, or her podcast "Hig
(41:06):
Vibe Bombshell". This week,take a little time to look at yo
rself. Do you feel confident? Ordo you feel insecure? What th
ngs in your life what times of yur day what outfits what peop
e make you feel the best, te most powerful, the most you w
atever they are, play them up,find a way to maximize that fe
(41:30):
l good about who you are. If thre are times or people or
ven an outfit that don't make yu feel great, then maybe it's
ime to minimize their presencen your life. There's no rule
or how you're supposed to look,or act or dress or feel to
e your best. Only you can definthat. But spend some time th
(41:54):
s week figuring out what thalooks like for you. Because t
e more you own the greatnesshat is you, the more you'
l find success. And regardlessf what success means to you,
t will never feel real unlessou can embrace it as you tru
y are. Thanks again for joininLevel the Pursuit. Well, w
can't choose where we start.
We can choose our dreams andhow we pursue them. Remember,
(42:16):
uccess is a team sport and theres room for all of us to achi
ve our goals. So be a good leade. Be a good follower, And Do S
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