Emily shares a practical question prompt to help you focus on what matters most when facing challenges at work or in life. She gives real examples, like choosing between launching a product on time and not burning out, getting out of your comfort zone to represent your company at conferences, or trading phone scrolling for a more productive morning. The episode is about identifying what’s important versus what’s most important to guide better decisions and growth.
Links Mentioned:
Free Resources:
- Strategic Planning Checklist
- Chief of Staff Skills Assessment Checklist
- A Day in the Life of a Chief of Staff
- Chief of Staff Toolkit
Get in Touch With Emily:
- Connect on LinkedIn
- Follow on YouTube
- Learn more about coaching
- Sign up for the newsletter
- Clarity Call with Emily
Who Am I?
If we haven’t yet before - Hi👋 I’m Emily, Chief of Staff turned Executive Leadership Coach. After a thrilling ride up the corporate ladder, I’m focusing on what I love - working with people to realize their professional and personal goals. Through my videos here on this channel, books, podcast guest spots, and newsletter, I share new ideas and practical and tactical tools to help you be more productive and build the career and life you want.
Time Stamps:
00:42 The Power of Prioritization
01:04 Balancing Comfort and Growth
02:06 Overcoming Fear of Judgment
03:18 Morning Routines for Success
04:21 Applying the Prompt in Real Life
05:30 Developing Resilient Thought Patterns
06:16 Conclusion: Building Unstoppable Habits
Episode Transcript
Here is a question prompt that can be
helpful when you are movingthrough the stage of something
where it's like, this is hard,this is new.
It's uncomfortable, but I kindof, sort of think it's best for
me.
I know it's good for me.
I gotta get through it.
How do I propel myself throughit?
Here's the question, prompt.
What's important to me?
What's more important to me?
(00:46):
Another variation could bewhat's important to me, what's
most important to me.
alright.
Some examples here would be,it's important we get this
product launched on time.
That's really important.
What's more important is I don'tdie in the process.
Right?
If you're dead, not gonna do anygood for anyone around you.
Another example would be it'simportant for me to not feel too
(01:09):
uncomfortable.
I like to be in my comfort zone.
I like to be in my sweet spot.
That's what's important to me.
It's more important that I'mable to speak to what our
organization does atconferences.
I might not like making speechesin front of a room full of
people.
I might not like being on Q anda panels, but given my
leadership role, it's importantthat I'm able to do that
(01:32):
effectively.
Our company makes, uh, medicaldevices and we literally save
lives.
So while it's important for meto feel comfortable in the grand
scheme of things, what's farmore important is that I get to
a place where I can go intoconferences, get our message
across, and people know aboutus.
People know about this thingthat could help them.
(01:54):
So it's far more important.
It almost diminishes like, likemy, my comfort level is small
potatoes.
In the grand scheme of things,it's far more important for this
to happen.
It's not about me, it's aboutwho it can help.
Okay.
Next example would be, um, I.
Oh, here's, here's what I get alot is it's important to me to
get the right answer or to notbe wrong in front of people,
(02:17):
right?
That's really important to me.
What's most important in my lifeis to care less about what
people think, to develop thehabit and thought pattern of
caring less, even a little bitless about what people think,
because over time, over yearsand years, decades and decades,
(02:37):
your life.
Forming that habit will createfreedom.
And space and just less anxietyand consternation over this and
that, and hanging on people'swords or caring about what other
people think about you andassigning value, like your self
worth around that.
If you can open that up and justbe like, I'm free.
(03:01):
To speak up when I think I needto speak up or share what I need
to share or challenge what Ineed to challenge or all these
different things.
Oh my gosh, like that's far moreimportant.
That's the most important thing,one of the most important things
you can do for yourself.
Okay.
Other quick example here wouldbe, hmm.
This is kinda like outside ofwork, but it's important for me
(03:21):
to sit here in bed and scroll onmy phone for the next 45
minutes.
I'm comfortable.
It's a warm here.
That's really important to me.
Okay?
What's more important is for meto get my butt out of bed and
not feel rushed in my morning.
That's more important to me.
It might be most important for,Hey, look, if I can get up and I
(03:42):
can read.
For 45 minutes or even half anhour and learn something.
And get knowledge into my brainor maybe journal and just set my
day up and just get myselfsettled and journal without
feeling rushed.
Maybe it's, I'm going to invest30 minutes or 45 minutes into a
project for my family or dosomething for my friends or.
(04:04):
Or maybe write that book.
I always wanted to little bylittle bit by bit.
Maybe it's to do something forwork where it's like, hey, if I
have 45 minutes to front run myday, like I'm gonna be golden in
my work week or my work day.
So these are some examples thatyou can use this question prompt
for, but.
People I speak with, and mostpeople I speak with are driven,
ambitious people who have goals,who are into personal growth,
(04:27):
who are into stretchingthemselves.
Most of the time you're gonnarun into this stage where it's
like, I don't know if I reallywanted to do this, but I know
it's good for me.
I know it's important.
So it's framing it in the like,here's what's important to me.
Yes, acknowledge that, verbalizethat great, but then also know
(04:47):
what's more important.
What is most important at theend of the day?
And in those moments of like,uh, backsliding, uh, I'm not
sure I have anxiety.
I, I, I'm double checkingmyself.
I'm, I'm having second thoughtsto be able to quickly switch
into, here's the most importantthing, helping people, saving
(05:08):
people's lives, helping myfamily, making sure I do write
this book that's on my bucketlist, making sure that I.
Give myself the freedom to careless about what people think.
That would free up so much time.
Think about what life would belike if I cared less about what
people think or if I freakingdidn't care at all.
Like what possibilities doesthat open up for me, type of
(05:29):
thing.
So if you can, develop thesethought patterns where you
immediately slide in the what'smost important answer to your
thought and to your moment.
I think that can help propel youthrough those phases of this is
uncomfortable, this is new.
This is a new muscle I'm havingto flex or a new thought I'm
having to develop.
I've seen people get stuck andI've been stuck myself, Why am I
(05:52):
doing this?
Oh yeah, that's why that's moreimportant.
That's most important.
And then I get a little bit likebelligerent with it.
I'm like, you watch me.
consider it done, consider itdone.
You watch me do that.
And then it's like I'm, I'm badat it.
I'm bad at it.
I'm better at it.
It's a little easier.
It's not that much easierthough.
(06:13):
I don't think I can, hold on.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
Okay.
I think I've gotten my footing.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, here we go.
And then you get good.
Then you get great and then youwake up and you're like, whoops,
I'm awesome.
And I can't help it.
I can't help myself.
Now this habit's so built upthat I can't do nothing
different.
I'm just gonna sit here and beawesome over and over and over
(06:33):
again, and I'll catch you nextweek on leveraging leadership.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.