June 2, 2025 • 46 mins
This week, Curry shares with us his and his wife Linda's experience going to a funeral home to plan their funerals in advance so their children did not have to later on. He shares how he felt during the process and why he wanted to share with our listeners and members of our Facebook pages.
"I would hate to have left Linda to decide all that in a day or two," Curry confesses, his voice carrying the weight of nine years living with LBD. During a recent period when his symptoms have intensified—increased confusion, slurred speech, and devastating sleep disruptions—he still prioritized this difficult task. The contrast is striking: even as Curry struggles with Lewy's daily challenges, he's thinking ahead to ease his wife's future burden.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
welcome back podcast family yes, welcome back y'all
and just another quick shout outto everyone for your continued
support and patience.
We really, really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yes, we do.
We want to thank you all againfor being so patient and
supportive of us.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yep, and before we start, a couple of reminders we
try to do so I'll do themquickly is please feel free to
share the podcast link, or justthe name of the podcast, to your
family, friends and doctors.
You all know it's reallyimportant for them all to hear
from those of you living withthe disease and their caregivers
.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Also, I want to remind y'all that if you'd like
to be a guest and share yourstory in hopes of helping others
, just contact Linda Zappula ormyself through Facebook
Messenger or through our email,which is louisbodyrollercoaster
at gmailcom.
We'd love to have you on thepodcast, and I do know that
we've got quite a few peoplelined up.
It's just a matter of gettingto them now.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yep, yep, yep, yeah, and I know it's.
We feel bad if we can't get anepisode off every week because
of life, but I think ourlisteners understand.
You know, because the Louisshows up or you know being on
(01:29):
the other side of it.
It's not, I don't even I'm notgoing to say it's not easier
than going through the journey.
It's just a different kind ofdifficult.
But anyway, just remember wepost the links for the podcast.
(01:49):
La la la Just woke up.
Curry woke me up and said let'sgo, I'm awake.
We post the Patreon andGoFundMe links at the bottom of
the episode notes and it's onthe top of the Facebook pages.
So if you feel blessed to helpus keep this going, we really
appreciate it.
So thank you from blessed tohelp us keep this going.
We really appreciate it.
So thank you from the bottom ofour hearts.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, and as a reminder, we're not giving
medical advice.
We're just sharing our open andhonest feelings and thoughts as
we live with Lewy body dementia.
Okay, that's enough of that.
Let's get this episode started.
I want to give a few shout-outsout first to some of our good
supporters.
We've got Carol McNeely, effieChan, denise Huber and just a
(02:34):
minute here, let me get throughthat page Aileen Sherwood and
Anonymous Anonymous.
Thank you all very much.
Let's get this week startedlet's get this week started.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and it's just me and you, um, just because I
kind of want to, we want to talkabout a specific topic.
But right before we startedrecording, curry said to me we
just finished it.
We decided well, I decided toto ask the people on one of our
zoom meetings to if I couldrecord the, and then it became a
three-part episode, which thoseof you who listen know, because
(03:08):
I was like they just need tohear what it's like at the
meeting.
We do laughing, we do talkabout Louie.
We're really invested in eachother's lives and we want to
know how everybody's doing.
And somebody has an event thatthey post and then we talk about
Louie.
Somebody has an event that theypost and then we talk about
Louie.
So Curry said to me, just as wewere ready to start, that he
(03:29):
just listened to the thirdepisode that we recorded from
that Zoom meeting.
And what did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I said I sound like some old drunk on there.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
And he's really upset about it.
But you know, when we recordedthat Louie had a hold of you,
right?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh yeah but I'm slurring my words and you put
slurring my words with my accentand I really sound terrible.
I need to apologize to everyone of our listeners because I
was not drunk and I sure soundlike it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
No, you do not need to apologize, sir.
That's not what I thought youwere going to say.
I mean, I'm going to tell youyou don't need to apologize
because you know when Louis hasa hold of you guys, you don't?
Yeah, I was just amazed thatyou came to the meeting because
I know, and we know, if you'refollowing the Facebook pages,
that you've really beenstruggling last month,
(04:21):
especially with your sleep.
But maybe you sounded like thatwhen you went to the ER the
first time and that's why theythought you were drunk.
And you don't hear it inyourself that you're doing that,
but that just makes it realCurry that people can hear that.
(04:43):
Was you struggling through anepisode of like that?
Was you struggling through an?
You know an episode of Louiethat had you just wiped out?
Yeah, yeah.
So no, apologizing.
Young man, older man, I shouldsay Right, yeah, no, no
apologizing Cause that's.
You know when we, when I firstreached out to you, remember, I
(05:04):
said I just want people to hearfrom the people with Louie and
what it feels like, and that waswhat you were feeling like in
that meeting.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
In your mind.
You didn't hear that slurring.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Uh-uh, not until I listened to it last night.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Right.
So don't you know?
You don't need to apologize,people understand.
You know, sometimes Louie doesthat to you and you just I'm
trying to make sure I talk rightthis morning.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Whether I accomplish that or not, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, so real quick.
How have you been doing Becauseyou besides the sleep if people
aren't following on theFacebook page as closely?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Oh, that's it.
I've been down, I've been moreconfused, as ever.
I kind of think some of thethings Linda's been telling me
that I do.
I'm just getting more confused.
(06:08):
I she can talk, we can talkabout something, and I don't
remember talking about it.
I do things that I don'trealize.
I'm doing the things right now,but it's not been a good three
(06:30):
or four weeks, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Well, you know you've been on this downward with the
Louie before.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah you know and, like you always said, you just
got to ride it out.
That's it.
It's been a tough ride thistime.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you are getting older.
Young man, old man.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mm-hmm, I know.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, it's just you're not old.
You're not old by far at all,it's just it gets to you right.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
It just wears you out .
I'm in my ninth year now.
Mm-hmm, it just wears you out.
I'm in my ninth year now.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I know We've said you should have been dead four
years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yet you texted me and said let's go, we need to do
this podcast.
So, you know?
Okay.
So Curry did something theother day and he said he wanted
to share about his experienceand I said this is great, you
need to talk about it.
He went and did what he neededto do for yours and Linda's
(07:35):
funeral when the time comes.
Now let me ask you what madeyou do that now.
Is it because the way you'vebeen feeling, or what pushed you
to actually do it now?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
They had an ad on Facebook offering a free meal.
Wait, did you say a free meal,or?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
a free miracle.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Free meal.
Yeah, they had an ad onFacebook.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'm sorry it's not funny, but it's funny.
Was it bacon-wrapped bolognameal?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
No, it was barbecue.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, they had an ad on there and the funeral home
here in town and Linda and Ihave always, every time we drive
by it, we say we need to stopin there and do this.
Well, so I signed up for thatfree dinner and we went there
and listened to him and all that, and we didn't have our
daughter with us and we wantedto take our daughter with us.
(08:33):
Of course, we didn't know whatall was going to happen and it
got so in-depth that we said no,we need to start and stop all
over and let us bring ourdaughter with us so she can hear
it.
Well, we ended up.
We wanted to take our oldestgranddaughter, becca, with us
too, so they could both be thereand listen to everything.
But, yeah, the free food's.
(08:55):
What got me in there finallyWas it good barbecue at least.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
It was real good barbecue Now were there a lot of
people you don't live in a bigtown Like, were there a lot of
people there Now.
Were there a lot of people youdon't live in a big town, like
were there a lot of people there.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
No, they had a list of people that were supposed to
be there, but it ended up onlybeing us and one other couple.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay, Well, I'm just asking because if it was like
too crowded for you, yeah, no,no, not at all.
That's great.
Well, it's a smart advertisingtactic to get people in the door
.
Yeah, it works.
Yeah, yeah, and the barbecuewas good.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It was a real good barbecue, but what it came from
a place in Bartlesville thatLinda and I used to eat at quite
a bit oh, that's nice, but whatkind of.
We hadn't been able to get backto it yet since we've been here
, and that's where they cateredit from.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And sorry I don't do barbecue, but what kind of meat
was it?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Brisket ribs and chopped beef.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
And when only three people showed up, did they have
extras that you could take home?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, they did.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
They sent you home with some.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That's a great ploy to get in the door.
Okay, so I know we talked afterit.
Well, we texted afterward andyou said it kind of wore you out
.
But tell us about yourexperience when you went.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I tell you what, not counting the night that we ate.
But when we went back onSaturday with our daughter and
granddaughter, there was a lotto planning, if you know what I
mean.
You know we had planned mymom's the thing about that.
My mom had everything writtendown.
She even had down where we weresupposed to buy the dinner
rolls from, yeah, and what typeof dinner rolls, uh.
(10:48):
So hers was pretty easy for us.
But we got in there the otherday and realized there's a lot
to it, from picking the music,uh, to picking the casket, yeah,
and picking the urn.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, are you.
Are you being stuck in theground?
I'm going to be cremated, andLinda well.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know.
Yeah, Linda's going to beburied.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, being as I did not practice what
I preach before Jim passed awayand then how quickly he passed
away.
If I didn't have my twodaughter-in-laws, I don't know
(11:31):
how I would have done all that,because I just couldn't.
I couldn't emotionally andmentally make decisions at that
time and I just handed my creditcard over to the girls and they
did what needed to do,including getting a hold of the
brain donation and having thatall organized, because I know I
(11:53):
shared before they came and gothim in Louisiana but took.
Well, they got him, they tookhim somewhere and took his brain
and sent that to another place.
It was just I would not havebeen able to do that at that
time.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Let me tell you, folks, something.
What I did find out in therewas most funeral homes and I
feel like I could probably sayalmost all of them, but most
funeral homes will set you up ona payment plan to where you can
(12:32):
start paying for your funeralnow and it's really easy and
it's a good thing to do.
Yeah, and most when someonepasses.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
typically you know, because, like you're saying, you
did it for your mom, I did itfor Jim.
Both of Jim's parents, likeJim's parents, owned a pet
cemetery.
Did they ask you if you have aninsurance policy?
Because usually that if theyknow you have that, that will
(13:10):
come off the top and then, yeah,that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I had.
I've got insurance, lifeinsurance policy.
I mean, I've had since 2009.
And they did point out to methat if you're on hospice, you
don't get a payment plan.
You don't get a payment plan ifyou're not on hospice.
That was cool, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, because they want you to, for everybody
listening.
Even you know it's not just foryou, it's the person with Louie
, it's for the, because Ihaven't done this yet and you
have motivated me to when I gettogether with all my kids next
week to sit down and say, okay,we need to figure this out.
And so you guys, because withjim, you know, I told you his
(13:59):
parents had passed away, but hisbrother passed away many years
ago and his parents bought fourplots and we knew the headstones
were on those three and I knewI didn't know whether it was to
the right of them or to the leftof them and I knew we had the I
guess it's the paperwork sayingwe have this plot.
(14:20):
I could not find that for thelife of me.
I could not find it anywhere.
So my son had to get involvedwith somebody that lived close
to the church.
It was just such a, it was alot.
And after we moved, like I havea safe.
There's no money in it, butthat's where my passport is, and
in that safe is the paperworkand an envelope.
Like in my brain, like whenyou're going through it right
(14:43):
after you lose your spouse, mybrain, when you're going through
it right after you lose yourspouse, my brain couldn't even
how do I not know the importantpaper was in that safe, because
when we moved, here, toPennsylvania.
I'm like I've got to sortthrough this because I still
have all this mom and dad stuffin there and I'm like that's
been over 20 years and I'm like,oh my God, here's the paperwork
, but you don't for the onethat's left behind.
(15:05):
It's just I commend you fordoing it.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I would hate to have not done that and left Linda to
decide everything.
I mean, there's a lot to it,from whether you're going to
have a viewing or not, the musicyou choose.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yep?
Open or close, casket Open orclose, and who's not the music
you choose.
Yep, open or close, casket Openor close, and who's?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
going to speak at your funeral.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yep, what do you want to say?
Well, a lot of people don't dothe paper obituary anymore.
Like I didn't do that, I justposted it on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Well, there's really no need, but we're going to do
the one newspaper.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And they're expensive .
Yeah, yeah, that's one of thereasons I didn't do it, because
we haven't gotten the paperforever.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's terrible for newspapers.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So to me, posting it on Facebook and just word of
mouth was going to get it out,more than putting it in a paper,
because sadly, sadly, sadly,people just don't read.
I know right papers.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Maybe they get them online.
I think we're going to put itin the newspaper.
Uh, the local one here inbartlesville.
I think it's going to go in it.
Uh, no, it's not.
I'm sorry, it's going to go inthe claremont paper, where I
grew up.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, I was going to say that's probably better,
because those people know you.
Now are you going to sit downand do what your mom did?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Like put on there.
We did that.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, this is the food I want.
I want bacon, wrapped, bolognaand smoked for 30,000 hours.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
We covered all that.
I mean it's pretty in-depth.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, but don't you feel a sigh of relief now that
you know that that's done forboth of you?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
I do because, like I said, I would hate to have left
Linda to have to decide all thatin a day or two.
Yeah, you know, gone.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
My thing is.
I guess the reason I didn't doit is because I just didn't know
how to approach the subjectwith Jim.
You know he knew I had thisterminal illness and I struggle
with that.
A lot Like with the messagesthat I had him leave on my phone
for the kids, as if he wasleaving a message on their phone
Right.
(17:23):
That took me months to get upthe nerve because he knew why I
was having him do it and itbroke my heart that I wanted him
to do it.
I mean he did a great jobbecause the one he left for
Andrew Andrew really struggledafter he didn't want to play
music anymore and then he leftthe message.
(17:43):
It was something like keepbanging on things because I'm
proud of you, because he's adrummer, he's in percussion and
that's what got him out of bedis that message that I, after
the funeral and everything wasover, I sent the messages to
each kid and I said when you'reready, listen.
But it's hard to approach yourloved one who has a terminal
(18:03):
illness and say, listen, we needto do this and do that.
That's why, when you said youdid it, I'm like, and you said
you wanted to share, I said wegot to do this.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
We talked about it when I first got sick and we did
all the power of attorneys andliving will, all that good stuff
back then, but the only thingwe didn't do was plan my funeral
.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Well, you moved a couple of times since then.
Right, Exactly right.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, yeah.
But so and I do want to say Iwas talking about them giving
you a payment plan a while agoyou don't even have to take up a
payment plan, you can just goon there and pre-plan everything
.
It's not, you don't even haveto take a payment plan, you can
just go in there and pre-planeverything.
You don't have to start payingup front.
Right, they do offer paymentplans for people.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, and I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
it's a good thing.
Yeah, If anyone that doesn'thave their funeral already
planned, you ought to thinkabout getting it done.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, and your will, if you haven't done that.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But typically, when it's a married couple,
everything just goes to thesurviving spouse.
Mm-hmm.
Which makes me I need to.
I just wrote down, I need toupdate my well.
I don't know if I need toupdate the will, Because we did
it.
If one of us dies, it goes tothe other and if that person
dies it gets split to my kids,right right, to avoid any of
(19:32):
that family bickering that wehear about, which I doubt my
kids will do that.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Money you never know.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I know money does some crazy things.
I'm going to say that, like Isaid earlier, jim's parents
owned a pet cemetery in NewJersey for years, but before
that they ran a human cemeterywhen Jim was in high school and
when we went to the funeralparlor when Jim's mom died.
(20:05):
They go in and they show youall the beautiful caskets and
you can upgrade for this.
You can upgrade, they can havea cushion, you know fluffier
pillow I'm making that up, butyou know what I mean.
Or you can have lace lined orsilk.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Everything you're saying is true.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Right Silk lined and no silk.
Everything you're saying istrue, right, silk lined, and all
this and it's because Jim'sfamily and he lived around a
cemetery and a viewing andexactly what we were going there
to do, he said no, no, show methe boxes you have in the
basement.
Because he said we're all goingto decay in that box.
(20:45):
So they have, I guess it's, forI want to say it just looked
like gray corrugated cardboard.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
It is Cardboard.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, it's for, like the people they don't, the John
Does and things like that.
And Jim's like yeah, that's theone we want, and I don't
remember the money, but it'sliterally instead of $2,000,
maybe it's $200.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, that's like on me.
When it came down to choosingthe casket, all I had a choice
was since I'm getting cremated,was they're going to put me in a
cardboard box and then they'llrent me a casket.
And I made jokes with themabout rent a casket, but yeah,
(21:37):
with the viewing, since I'mgoing to have a viewing, they're
going to put me in an oakcasket for the viewing and then
they'll put me back in thecardboard.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I'm going to come.
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
It is, but you're going to have an open casket
viewing.
Yes, can I bring markers?
Yeah, yeah, I'll draw somesmiley faces on.
I'll draw the smiley faces on.
I'll draw the podcast logoRight.
Honestly, I have trouble withopen casket funerals.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I've seen my aunt.
My aunt, that's, I think, thefirst and last one.
I went to stand behind, standnext to the coffin of my uncle,
and I, just, I, just, I didn't,I don't.
I knew I go ahead, let me backup.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
No, the viewing is for the family only.
Okay, and then the service isjust my urn going to be there.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I had that mistaken, so is that?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
funeral home going to be there?
Okay, yeah, I had that mistaken.
So is that funeral home goingto?
They have connections with thecompany that does cremations.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Because the company that my daughter-in-law found
for Jim's cremations.
They came in a beautiful boxbecause that's the way they came
.
We didn't ask for it and Ididn't know it was going to.
I thought it was just going tocome in a cardboard box or
something.
So in the meantime I had not totake anything away from the
(23:14):
funeral place that you just wentto.
But I got Jim a gorgeous onewith a guitar on top and it was
only like $350.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, we got to choose my urn and there was a
whole book full to choose from.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Were they really expensive.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
No, no Matter of fact , I think my urn was like $300.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
And that included some of the small ones at $30 a
piece to go to the family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, halloween'sat $30 a piece to go to the
family.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah yeah yeah, because I know our friend Dee
and her husband passed away.
Afterwards she went onto thesite and you just Google it, you
can find the sites.
Because my goal, like I evenbought the big plastic box that
the urn with the guitar would gointo to put in the ground and
(24:03):
at his funeral someone said whywould you bury that?
Because it was sitting on topof the really nice box that the
cremation place sent.
And I was like I don't know.
So now I'm going crazy, I'mtrying to figure we've got to
get this funeral over, we've gotto go to the cemetery.
And so I said to Manny whichyou guys all know, manny helped
(24:27):
drive the, uh, my rv.
And I was like uh, so, and sosaid why are we, why are we
burying that?
And I'm like can you take halfout and put half in the one and
half in the other?
so it's like I did all thisstress of finding the plot and
then of course it was paid for,but we still had to pay $500 for
(24:49):
them to open it and $250 forthem to close it.
So I remember writing a checkat the cemetery to give to the
guy.
But I'm like, why did I do that?
Like what you just don't.
The point is, and why I waslike, yes, we need to talk about
this is when you're in it, asthe spouse left behind, you
can't make those decisions.
(25:10):
There was no reason for me toput half of them in the ground
except to be close to hissibling and his parents.
But I also found out which Ididn't know you can put four
urns in one plot.
Now that was in New Jersey andyou can put, I think, an urn and
(25:34):
a casket, so wherever youchoose to be buried, that's.
I'm just saying, ask thosequestions ahead of time, because
usually they don't tell you.
I'm assuming it's because theywant to sell you more plots, but
Jim's in a very old cemeteryand there's really not much left
.
You know, because his parents,once his brother died, they just
(25:56):
bought four.
But I never knew you could putfour urns.
You know cremations in one plotfor urns.
You know cremations in one plot.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Well, I knew from my sister's passing she was buried
in the plot with my mother.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Now was she cremated.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
She was cremated.
And your mom was not, and theytold us up here that you can put
a casket and an urn in the samehole.
Yeah, but what we're going todo is, if I go first, which more
than likely will happen I'mgoing to be cremated and the urn
will come here to the house andLinda will hang on to it, and
(26:34):
then, when she passes, they'llbury me with her.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, they can put you in hercasket maybe yeah.
Okay, yeah, they can put you inher casket maybe.
Yeah, okay, I always, you know,before, like years and years
ago, jim and I used to kidaround.
I'm like you know, I still wantto be on top, so you got to.
You know, let me put thecaskets.
They need to turn mine upsidedown.
Right right, I think that wasafter his mom passed away,
(27:02):
trying to find some levity in it.
But I didn't even know.
When his mom passed away, theynever mentioned that you could
put an urn in the same placethat you put a casket.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Well, depending on how long ago it may not have
been, that Cremation may nothave been such a big thing back
then, but now it is.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, because you know why it's least expensive.
And I know when I was inLouisiana when it happened and I
told you I couldn't even leavethe state until I knew Jim was
safely in New Jersey at myfriend's house and then I was
able to book my flight, andthat's one of the reasons why we
(27:43):
didn't have his service foralmost a month later, because
I'm like I need to know thathe's there first.
Yeah, and I have some of them.
I carry some of them.
It may sound morbid, but Icarry some of them with me in my
pocketbook.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, and they've got it even now where you can put
it in pendants for necklaces orcharms yep, I have a little
guitar necklace and some inthere.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I have some in a bracelet.
But my goal and mine andmanny's we said when we go to,
because we were supposed to goto national parks, that's what
he wanted to do so if I get tothem, I'm just, I may or may not
.
I don't want to get arrested.
Leave some of them behind.
Yeah, I did go where he askedme to marry him because it was
(28:32):
on a bridge overlooking thewater and I let a little vial go
there the first anniversaryafter he passed.
Yeah, it's not an easy topic tobring up, especially with your
loved one who is, you know,given this diagnosis, but
hopefully-.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I think it depends on how they look at it.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah Well, they should look at it like you.
Look at it, you know, like youdon't.
That's why we were sharing,like why you did it, and then
with me, me, I didn't do it, andhow incredibly hard it is to
make those decisions oh yeah, doit right afterwards and if you
have it all written down.
So where are you going to haveyour service?
(29:14):
Is it going to be in?
There at the funeral home oh,it's not going to be in oklahoma
.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No, okay, I'm just curious yeah, it's going to be
here in Caney.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Okay, and does Linda have a cemetery plot yet?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
No, we still have to do that.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
You think you're going to get it.
Yeah, caney, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I'm glad you mentioned that, because I'd
forgotten and that slipped mymind, about needing a cemetery
plot for her.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Now did they?
When you went in there, didthey give you a checklist of
things that they wanted to talkabout?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Maybe if you have that, if youcan send a picture of it, or
maybe I can call the cemeteryguy and ask him if he wants to
come on a podcast and talk aboutit.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, and also lobby dang, I know you had it, it went
right out.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I saw it in your eyes .
Yeah, it just went out.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
That's all right, you'll catch it.
We were talking about thecemetery guy, me maybe asking
him to come on and share.
It'll come back to you.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, it will it always does.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I can see why Curry was like we really need to do an
episode and talk about this soI can share yeah, there's so
much to it.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It took about two hours for each one of us to plan
each one out.
Yeah, two hours for mine andabout two hours for Linda's.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yeah, I remember when Jim's mom died, we were like we
need to get our wills and westarted it twice because the
kids were younger.
And then they're like, well,who will take the kids if you
die?
And after that person, who doyou want?
And after that person, who doyou want?
We were like, wow, yeah.
And after that person, who doyou want?
And after that person, who doyou want?
We were like, wow, yeah, youget overwhelmed.
So you did both in one sitting,four hours long.
(31:12):
Wow, no wonder why you've beenpooped out.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah, I mean it's.
It was quite an ordeal, like Isaid, but I'm so relieved I've
gotten it done.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Yeah, maybe if you're listening and you're thinking
about doing it, have them splitit into two sessions.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
You know, I would say I would recommend to do the
spouse without Louie first.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You know what I mean.
So the person with Louie cansee what.
So that gives you time to thinkabout things a little more.
Yeah, because you have to.
No, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
You choose the music they're going to play and all
that, yeah, and that's somethingwe we hadn't thought of, but we
had to sit there and thinkabout for a while?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
yeah so, but they did .
When you went in for the freedinner, free barbecue did they
give you a checklist then ofthings they're going to talk
about?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
they probably no they gave us a a folder with papers
in it that tells all that yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah they let you
plan it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, I think we just tapped into something we
probably should do to havesomebody from a oh, definitely.
A funeral home, not a cemetery.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
We're all going to have to deal with it, or our
loved ones will.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Yeah, and it's just, it isn't easy, even if you're
not sick, to think of yourmortality, you know.
But I'm going to say again andagain, and again not doing it
before your loved one passes.
It's so much harder on theperson left behind.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Because, well, you know, and you all listen to me,
I don't even remember doing thepodcast a week or so after he
passed.
I have no idea what I said, butyeah, it's like I said I would
not.
I don't know what would havehappened if I didn't have my
daughter-in-law helping me.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, that's kind of with us, because there were
decisions that our daughter andour granddaughter helped us make
that we really struggled with.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Right, yeah, yeah, and having them there with us
really helped.
Yeah, when we get done, send methe name of the cemetery and the
guy.
I might give him a call BecauseI think it would be great to
have that list posted.
We could post things that youtalked about so people can take
(33:35):
that list and jot everythingdown and then go to the cemetery
I mean, go to the funeral homeand already have all that,
instead of, like you did, johnny, on the spot trying to think of
things which I'm sure, if youthink of something now that you
want to change, you'd be able tochange it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Oh, yeah, I can make changes.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, yeah, well, that's good you did that.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I can't stress enough how important it is to go ahead
and get it done.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yep, no one wants to do it, but it's a fact that
you're going to have to do itnow or leave it to your loved
ones later.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, and it's good for your kids or your loved ones
to know where your insurancepolicies are from, because I
remember I think Jim was coveredunder my teacher's pension
Because he officially I told youhe officially got severed from
(34:32):
work only four months before hepassed and he had a $500,000
policy.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
But neither of us knew when he officially stopped
working at the company that itwas going to go away.
So thankfully he was coveredunder my teacher's pension, but
my kids asking me where's theinsurance policy?
I'm, like I just said, go tothe filing cabinet and start
looking through all the files,because I wasn't in a mental
state to even clearly think thatone of the most important
(35:05):
papers we have in this house isin the safe.
You know what I mean.
I think that one of the mostimportant papers we have in this
house is in the safe.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like that's how jumbled yourbrain gets with grief is because
I was embarrassed when I foundit.
I'm like, oh my God, of courseit would be in the safe and it
was in this folded envelope andit was, you know, cemetery plots
right on it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
So yeah, that's good.
That's what I've got on me is500,000.
And when she asked me how muchinsurance I had that night, she
asked me if I had insurance.
I said yeah.
She said how much?
How much is it?
I said 500.
And she sat there with thislook on her face and my daughter
said when you say 500, do youmean 500?
(35:50):
I said no, I meant 500, 000.
And she said, oh, you'd besurprised.
The the lady shirley.
She said, oh, you'd besurprised, but we do get people
coming in here with just a fivethousand dollar.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, a 500, 500 policy so let me ask you this
you're more we're worth moredead than alive.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Oh yeah, that's why I sleep with one eye open.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
That's amazing that you've been able to keep that
policy like I.
When they called me, we were inlouisiana four months before he
died and told me that, which II have nothing but praise for
his company because they kepthim on long-term disability for
two and a half years, which wasamazing.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Good.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
But I had to go outside and I had to sit down.
When they told me I'm like whatdo you mean?
He doesn't have a policyBecause the company paid into it
.
Also, I remember him payinglike $165 every two weeks For 30
years.
He paid that Right Because itwas attached to company, which
is strange because I've retiredand he still got covered under
(36:57):
mine and they said I could keepit, but it would be like $15,000
a month because it's so high.
Yeah, and he would have to gothrough a physical which they
clearly knew he had this disease.
But, yeah, that was.
I clearly didn't tell himeither.
I didn't even speak of it untilafter he passed, and then I
(37:20):
told the kids what happened.
But now the kids know where allmy stuff is, like there's a
spot and that's where all theimportant papers are.
It should be safe.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
I started off I had $300,000 policy and I tried to
get more than that and theinsurance company said we can't
do that for two years and I saidokay and so didn't even think
about it.
You know, and then somethinghappened to us on the road, I
(37:53):
don't remember what, and Idecided, told Linda.
I said I need to get some moreinsurance.
So I called the insurancecompany and they put another 500
, they put 300,000, I'm sorry,200, yeah, I had 300 on there
and they wrote me a new policyfor 500.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I just canceled the 300,000.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah, but you have the paperwork.
Oh, yeah, did the funeral homeask for that paperwork so they
can confirm that?
Okay, yeah, you better sleepwith one eye open.
I might come, I know, right,wait, put me on your will first.
Yeah, and I might come, I knowright, wait, put me on your will
first.
Yeah, it just, I know why Jimdid it.
I know why you did it for thatamount of money, because he
(38:36):
wanted us to be taken care of,and then, when it was not there
anymore, that was, yeah, thatwas a hard one to deal with.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's why I say get in there and even if you have to
just make small payments, do it.
Yeah, and you may not even makepayments to the funeral home,
just put a little bit aside eachmonth yeah, yeah, or get a
problem they'll finance it up to10 years yeah, but with um life
insurance you'd have to get itbefore you were diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Definitely, you know, because that's anyway.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
That's one thing.
We decided that we would hangon.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's very noble of youthat you've done that for her,
that you know she's going to beokay.
And does she have one on forher?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Do what now?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Does she have a life insurance policy for $500,000?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
No.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
So it's okay Sleep with one eye open, but that's
the.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Thing.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
You have to be able to bring humor into it, because
if you don't, that's when it canget really overwhelming.
You know, I mean when Jim saidI can remember.
I can distinctly remember himsaying okay, you show me all
these high-priced caskets.
Where's the one for the JaneDoe's?
I forget how he called itsomething, and I remember him
(40:02):
putting his hand on the small onmy back when he said that and
was leading me down to thebasement where they were.
And then, because they knewJim's parents, so they knew Jim
knew that there's this much,much, much cheaper, like 10% of
what they want to you know.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, caskets are expensive.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah, and I guess.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
I had thought about getting one from Walmart for
Linda, because you'd buy them atWalmart now.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You cannot, you cannot, you cannot.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I'm looking it up as you talk.
They're online.
They're online, but the thingabout it is, if something breaks
on it or something like that,the funeral home cannot get it
fixed, so you're left with abroken casket.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
See, you can get them at Walmart.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
You thought I was joking.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I did.
I thought you were telling ajoke.
Yeah, oh, my God, you can getpink ones and blue ones for $995
.
Yeah, they're cheap.
$ my God, you can get pink onesand blue ones and, yeah, oh,
for $995?
.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yeah, they're cheap.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, but okay.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
A lot cheaper than from a funeral home.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
So, but for $795, you can get unfinished wood pine
casket, and that's what we got.
That's what we got for his mom.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Because we are just going to decay in it.
But I get it.
I get why some people want tohave top of the line and if
they're so blessed to be able toafford that, that's to each his
own.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I see Linda's casket is going to have decorations on
each corner and they said,sometimes those will break and
if the one from Walmart breaks,you just got to go through the
ceremony with a broken casket.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Oh, I was like yeah, I'm thinking, once it's in the
ground, do you care if it breaks, right?
But you know that's a salestactic too.
Yeah, put in there, dang.
I just had know that's a salestactic too.
Yeah, yeah, put in there, dang.
I just had a question that wentright in and out too.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Oh, did you.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
That's right.
Did you pick out yourgravestones yet?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
No, that we haven't done.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
You know it took me over two years to even walk into
a place to do it Right.
And it's the same thing.
You know you want this.
That, like you know, somepeople put I.
You know I put one that that'sfor me and him.
And you see some at cemeteriesthat have like james c and linda
(42:44):
, you know, yeah, and then hisbirth and death date and then
mine's left blank and I'm like Idon't know if I can go to a
cemetery and see my name.
I'm like just leave that side.
I mean I put an apple on a bookbecause I was a teacher, and a
guitar and a Harley on his side,but that was.
You know, it took me two yearsand the minute I walked into the
(43:06):
door I just broke two years andI, the minute I walked into the
door, I just broke, and I guessthey're used to that see, I'm
named after my grandpa and soevery time I go to the cemetery
I see my name, but it doesn'tbother me.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Some of the relatives ask me if it bothers me.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
No, it doesn't bother me well, because you know it's
your grandfather.
Yeah, so that's good.
Well, I hope you all listen.
Yeah, well, because you knowit's your grandfather.
Yeah, yeah, so that's good.
Well, I hope you all listen andthink about what we just shared
.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And if you haven't done it, there's so much more
than even what we talked abouttoday.
There's so much more that getstaken care of when you're in
there, pre-planning Right, andeven if you don't have the money
, go ahead and pre-plan, becauseyou'll have it all ready and
it'll be on record there withthe funeral home.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, you could sell tickets to admission, tickets to
pay for it.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I hope youdon't all think I'm sounding
morbid.
I'm just trying to inflicthumor into it.
Like I said, jim and I did whenhis mom died, it makes you like
, okay, we better do thisbecause we have young kids
(44:18):
Because, like you said, we'reall going to die eventually.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Well, thank you for sharing, and trust me when I
tell you no one's going to thinkyou were drunk when they heard
you last week.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I hope not, because it was really disappointing to
listen to it.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
To me you sounded tired, but I bet you, andrew,
could speed it up and make itnot sound like it.
You can sound like a chipmunkinstead.
Right, right, no, curry, you'rebeing real, and that's why we
started this podcast podcast toshare the ups and the downs.
And clearly now you know why.
They thought you were drunkprobably in that emergency room.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, yeah, makes sense .
Yeah, yeah, all right, buddy.
Okay, folks, that's all we havetime for this week, remember,
you can email us withsuggestions on what you'd like
us to discuss on a futureepisode, or you can ask any
questions you have, and we'llsure do our best to get you the
right answer.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yep, and remember, kyrie, my friend, post the links
to the podcast and both of ourLewy Body Roller Coaster
Facebook page and our Journeywith Lewy page and if you're
interested in helping us as avolunteer and advocate, please
send us your email atlouiebodyrollacoster at gmailcom
.
And honestly, the more peoplethat reach out to us, the more
(45:36):
people we can help, because wehave several people in our
support meetings and on ourpages who don't have anybody to
advocate for them.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
So think about that, especially if you know someone
who's been through the journeyand folks, if you want to learn
how you can be a supporter ofthe podcast, just see the
episode notes at the bottom.
That's where we post theinformation on that there.
Okay, folks?
Thanks again for joining us,until next week.
This is linda and curry signingoff.
welcome back podcast family yes, welcome back y'all
and just another quick shout outto everyone for your continued
support and patience.
We really, really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yes, we do.
We want to thank you all againfor being so patient and
supportive of us.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Yep, and before we start, a couple of reminders we
try to do so I'll do themquickly is please feel free to
share the podcast link, or justthe name of the podcast, to your
family, friends and doctors.
You all know it's reallyimportant for them all to hear
from those of you living withthe disease and their caregivers
.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Also, I want to remind y'all that if you'd like
to be a guest and share yourstory in hopes of helping others
, just contact Linda Zappula ormyself through Facebook
Messenger or through our email,which is louisbodyrollercoaster
at gmailcom.
We'd love to have you on thepodcast, and I do know that
we've got quite a few peoplelined up.
It's just a matter of gettingto them now.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yep, yep, yep, yeah, and I know it's.
We feel bad if we can't get anepisode off every week because
of life, but I think ourlisteners understand.
You know, because the Louisshows up or you know being on
(01:29):
the other side of it.
It's not, I don't even I'm notgoing to say it's not easier
than going through the journey.
It's just a different kind ofdifficult.
But anyway, just remember wepost the links for the podcast.
(01:49):
La la la Just woke up.
Curry woke me up and said let'sgo, I'm awake.
We post the Patreon andGoFundMe links at the bottom of
the episode notes and it's onthe top of the Facebook pages.
So if you feel blessed to helpus keep this going, we really
appreciate it.
So thank you from blessed tohelp us keep this going.
We really appreciate it.
So thank you from the bottom ofour hearts.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, and as a reminder, we're not giving
medical advice.
We're just sharing our open andhonest feelings and thoughts as
we live with Lewy body dementia.
Okay, that's enough of that.
Let's get this episode started.
I want to give a few shout-outsout first to some of our good
supporters.
We've got Carol McNeely, effieChan, denise Huber and just a
(02:34):
minute here, let me get throughthat page Aileen Sherwood and
Anonymous Anonymous.
Thank you all very much.
Let's get this week startedlet's get this week started.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and it's just me and you, um, just because I
kind of want to, we want to talkabout a specific topic.
But right before we startedrecording, curry said to me we
just finished it.
We decided well, I decided toto ask the people on one of our
zoom meetings to if I couldrecord the, and then it became a
three-part episode, which thoseof you who listen know, because
(03:08):
I was like they just need tohear what it's like at the
meeting.
We do laughing, we do talkabout Louie.
We're really invested in eachother's lives and we want to
know how everybody's doing.
And somebody has an event thatthey post and then we talk about
Louie.
Somebody has an event that theypost and then we talk about
Louie.
So Curry said to me, just as wewere ready to start, that he
(03:29):
just listened to the thirdepisode that we recorded from
that Zoom meeting.
And what did you say?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
I said I sound like some old drunk on there.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
And he's really upset about it.
But you know, when we recordedthat Louie had a hold of you,
right?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh yeah but I'm slurring my words and you put
slurring my words with my accentand I really sound terrible.
I need to apologize to everyone of our listeners because I
was not drunk and I sure soundlike it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
No, you do not need to apologize, sir.
That's not what I thought youwere going to say.
I mean, I'm going to tell youyou don't need to apologize
because you know when Louis hasa hold of you guys, you don't?
Yeah, I was just amazed thatyou came to the meeting because
I know, and we know, if you'refollowing the Facebook pages,
that you've really beenstruggling last month,
(04:21):
especially with your sleep.
But maybe you sounded like thatwhen you went to the ER the
first time and that's why theythought you were drunk.
And you don't hear it inyourself that you're doing that,
but that just makes it realCurry that people can hear that.
(04:43):
Was you struggling through anepisode of like that?
Was you struggling through an?
You know an episode of Louiethat had you just wiped out?
Yeah, yeah.
So no, apologizing.
Young man, older man, I shouldsay Right, yeah, no, no
apologizing Cause that's.
You know when we, when I firstreached out to you, remember, I
(05:04):
said I just want people to hearfrom the people with Louie and
what it feels like, and that waswhat you were feeling like in
that meeting.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
In your mind.
You didn't hear that slurring.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Uh-uh, not until I listened to it last night.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Right.
So don't you know?
You don't need to apologize,people understand.
You know, sometimes Louie doesthat to you and you just I'm
trying to make sure I talk rightthis morning.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Whether I accomplish that or not, I don't know.
Yeah, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yeah, so real quick.
How have you been doing Becauseyou besides the sleep if people
aren't following on theFacebook page as closely?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Oh, that's it.
I've been down, I've been moreconfused, as ever.
I kind of think some of thethings Linda's been telling me
that I do.
I'm just getting more confused.
(06:08):
I she can talk, we can talkabout something, and I don't
remember talking about it.
I do things that I don'trealize.
I'm doing the things right now,but it's not been a good three
(06:30):
or four weeks, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Well, you know you've been on this downward with the
Louie before.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yeah you know and, like you always said, you just
got to ride it out.
That's it.
It's been a tough ride thistime.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, you are getting older.
Young man, old man.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Mm-hmm, I know.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, it's just you're not old.
You're not old by far at all,it's just it gets to you right.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
It just wears you out .
I'm in my ninth year now.
Mm-hmm, it just wears you out.
I'm in my ninth year now.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
I know We've said you should have been dead four
years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Yet you texted me and said let's go, we need to do
this podcast.
So, you know?
Okay.
So Curry did something theother day and he said he wanted
to share about his experienceand I said this is great, you
need to talk about it.
He went and did what he neededto do for yours and Linda's
(07:35):
funeral when the time comes.
Now let me ask you what madeyou do that now.
Is it because the way you'vebeen feeling, or what pushed you
to actually do it now?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
They had an ad on Facebook offering a free meal.
Wait, did you say a free meal,or?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
a free miracle.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Free meal.
Yeah, they had an ad onFacebook.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'm sorry it's not funny, but it's funny.
Was it bacon-wrapped bolognameal?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
No, it was barbecue.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, they had an ad on there and the funeral home
here in town and Linda and Ihave always, every time we drive
by it, we say we need to stopin there and do this.
Well, so I signed up for thatfree dinner and we went there
and listened to him and all that, and we didn't have our
daughter with us and we wantedto take our daughter with us.
(08:33):
Of course, we didn't know whatall was going to happen and it
got so in-depth that we said no,we need to start and stop all
over and let us bring ourdaughter with us so she can hear
it.
Well, we ended up.
We wanted to take our oldestgranddaughter, becca, with us
too, so they could both be thereand listen to everything.
But, yeah, the free food's.
(08:55):
What got me in there finallyWas it good barbecue at least.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
It was real good barbecue Now were there a lot of
people you don't live in a bigtown Like, were there a lot of
people there Now.
Were there a lot of people youdon't live in a big town, like
were there a lot of people there.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
No, they had a list of people that were supposed to
be there, but it ended up onlybeing us and one other couple.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Okay, Well, I'm just asking because if it was like
too crowded for you, yeah, no,no, not at all.
That's great.
Well, it's a smart advertisingtactic to get people in the door
.
Yeah, it works.
Yeah, yeah, and the barbecuewas good.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
It was a real good barbecue, but what it came from
a place in Bartlesville thatLinda and I used to eat at quite
a bit oh, that's nice, but whatkind of.
We hadn't been able to get backto it yet since we've been here
, and that's where they cateredit from.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And sorry I don't do barbecue, but what kind of meat
was it?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Brisket ribs and chopped beef.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
And when only three people showed up, did they have
extras that you could take home?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, they did.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
They sent you home with some.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
That's a great ploy to get in the door.
Okay, so I know we talked afterit.
Well, we texted afterward andyou said it kind of wore you out
.
But tell us about yourexperience when you went.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I tell you what, not counting the night that we ate.
But when we went back onSaturday with our daughter and
granddaughter, there was a lotto planning, if you know what I
mean.
You know we had planned mymom's the thing about that.
My mom had everything writtendown.
She even had down where we weresupposed to buy the dinner
rolls from, yeah, and what typeof dinner rolls, uh.
(10:48):
So hers was pretty easy for us.
But we got in there the otherday and realized there's a lot
to it, from picking the music,uh, to picking the casket, yeah,
and picking the urn.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Yeah, are you.
Are you being stuck in theground?
I'm going to be cremated, andLinda well.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know.
Yeah, Linda's going to beburied.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, being as I did not practice what
I preach before Jim passed awayand then how quickly he passed
away.
If I didn't have my twodaughter-in-laws, I don't know
(11:31):
how I would have done all that,because I just couldn't.
I couldn't emotionally andmentally make decisions at that
time and I just handed my creditcard over to the girls and they
did what needed to do,including getting a hold of the
brain donation and having thatall organized, because I know I
(11:53):
shared before they came and gothim in Louisiana but took.
Well, they got him, they tookhim somewhere and took his brain
and sent that to another place.
It was just I would not havebeen able to do that at that
time.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Let me tell you, folks, something.
What I did find out in therewas most funeral homes and I
feel like I could probably sayalmost all of them, but most
funeral homes will set you up ona payment plan to where you can
(12:32):
start paying for your funeralnow and it's really easy and
it's a good thing to do.
Yeah, and most when someonepasses.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
typically you know, because, like you're saying, you
did it for your mom, I did itfor Jim.
Both of Jim's parents, likeJim's parents, owned a pet
cemetery.
Did they ask you if you have aninsurance policy?
Because usually that if theyknow you have that, that will
(13:10):
come off the top and then, yeah,that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I had.
I've got insurance, lifeinsurance policy.
I mean, I've had since 2009.
And they did point out to methat if you're on hospice, you
don't get a payment plan.
You don't get a payment plan ifyou're not on hospice.
That was cool, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, because they want you to, for everybody
listening.
Even you know it's not just foryou, it's the person with Louie
, it's for the, because Ihaven't done this yet and you
have motivated me to when I gettogether with all my kids next
week to sit down and say, okay,we need to figure this out.
And so you guys, because withjim, you know, I told you his
(13:59):
parents had passed away, but hisbrother passed away many years
ago and his parents bought fourplots and we knew the headstones
were on those three and I knewI didn't know whether it was to
the right of them or to the leftof them and I knew we had the I
guess it's the paperwork sayingwe have this plot.
(14:20):
I could not find that for thelife of me.
I could not find it anywhere.
So my son had to get involvedwith somebody that lived close
to the church.
It was just such a, it was alot.
And after we moved, like I havea safe.
There's no money in it, butthat's where my passport is, and
in that safe is the paperworkand an envelope.
Like in my brain, like whenyou're going through it right
(14:43):
after you lose your spouse, mybrain, when you're going through
it right after you lose yourspouse, my brain couldn't even
how do I not know the importantpaper was in that safe, because
when we moved, here, toPennsylvania.
I'm like I've got to sortthrough this because I still
have all this mom and dad stuffin there and I'm like that's
been over 20 years and I'm like,oh my God, here's the paperwork
, but you don't for the onethat's left behind.
(15:05):
It's just I commend you fordoing it.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I would hate to have not done that and left Linda to
decide everything.
I mean, there's a lot to it,from whether you're going to
have a viewing or not, the musicyou choose.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yep?
Open or close, casket Open orclose, and who's not the music
you choose.
Yep, open or close, casket Openor close, and who's?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
going to speak at your funeral.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yep, what do you want to say?
Well, a lot of people don't dothe paper obituary anymore.
Like I didn't do that, I justposted it on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Well, there's really no need, but we're going to do
the one newspaper.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And they're expensive .
Yeah, yeah, that's one of thereasons I didn't do it, because
we haven't gotten the paperforever.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
It's terrible for newspapers.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So to me, posting it on Facebook and just word of
mouth was going to get it out,more than putting it in a paper,
because sadly, sadly, sadly,people just don't read.
I know right papers.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Maybe they get them online.
I think we're going to put itin the newspaper.
Uh, the local one here inbartlesville.
I think it's going to go in it.
Uh, no, it's not.
I'm sorry, it's going to go inthe claremont paper, where I
grew up.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Yeah, I was going to say that's probably better,
because those people know you.
Now are you going to sit downand do what your mom did?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Like put on there.
We did that.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, this is the food I want.
I want bacon, wrapped, bolognaand smoked for 30,000 hours.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
We covered all that.
I mean it's pretty in-depth.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, but don't you feel a sigh of relief now that
you know that that's done forboth of you?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
I do because, like I said, I would hate to have left
Linda to have to decide all thatin a day or two.
Yeah, you know, gone.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
My thing is.
I guess the reason I didn't doit is because I just didn't know
how to approach the subjectwith Jim.
You know he knew I had thisterminal illness and I struggle
with that.
A lot Like with the messagesthat I had him leave on my phone
for the kids, as if he wasleaving a message on their phone
Right.
(17:23):
That took me months to get upthe nerve because he knew why I
was having him do it and itbroke my heart that I wanted him
to do it.
I mean he did a great jobbecause the one he left for
Andrew Andrew really struggledafter he didn't want to play
music anymore and then he leftthe message.
(17:43):
It was something like keepbanging on things because I'm
proud of you, because he's adrummer, he's in percussion and
that's what got him out of bedis that message that I, after
the funeral and everything wasover, I sent the messages to
each kid and I said when you'reready, listen.
But it's hard to approach yourloved one who has a terminal
(18:03):
illness and say, listen, we needto do this and do that.
That's why, when you said youdid it, I'm like, and you said
you wanted to share, I said wegot to do this.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
We talked about it when I first got sick and we did
all the power of attorneys andliving will, all that good stuff
back then, but the only thingwe didn't do was plan my funeral
.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Well, you moved a couple of times since then.
Right, Exactly right.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, yeah.
But so and I do want to say Iwas talking about them giving
you a payment plan a while agoyou don't even have to take up a
payment plan, you can just goon there and pre-plan everything
.
It's not, you don't even haveto take a payment plan, you can
just go in there and pre-planeverything.
You don't have to start payingup front.
Right, they do offer paymentplans for people.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah, and I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
it's a good thing.
Yeah, If anyone that doesn'thave their funeral already
planned, you ought to thinkabout getting it done.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, and your will, if you haven't done that.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But typically, when it's a married couple,
everything just goes to thesurviving spouse.
Mm-hmm.
Which makes me I need to.
I just wrote down, I need toupdate my well.
I don't know if I need toupdate the will, Because we did
it.
If one of us dies, it goes tothe other and if that person
dies it gets split to my kids,right right, to avoid any of
(19:32):
that family bickering that wehear about, which I doubt my
kids will do that.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Money you never know.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I know money does some crazy things.
I'm going to say that, like Isaid earlier, jim's parents
owned a pet cemetery in NewJersey for years, but before
that they ran a human cemeterywhen Jim was in high school and
when we went to the funeralparlor when Jim's mom died.
(20:05):
They go in and they show youall the beautiful caskets and
you can upgrade for this.
You can upgrade, they can havea cushion, you know fluffier
pillow I'm making that up, butyou know what I mean.
Or you can have lace lined orsilk.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Everything you're saying is true.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Right Silk lined and no silk.
Everything you're saying istrue, right, silk lined, and all
this and it's because Jim'sfamily and he lived around a
cemetery and a viewing andexactly what we were going there
to do, he said no, no, show methe boxes you have in the
basement.
Because he said we're all goingto decay in that box.
(20:45):
So they have, I guess it's, forI want to say it just looked
like gray corrugated cardboard.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
It is Cardboard.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah, it's for, like the people they don't, the John
Does and things like that.
And Jim's like yeah, that's theone we want, and I don't
remember the money, but it'sliterally instead of $2,000,
maybe it's $200.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
Yeah, that's like on me.
When it came down to choosingthe casket, all I had a choice
was since I'm getting cremated,was they're going to put me in a
cardboard box and then they'llrent me a casket.
And I made jokes with themabout rent a casket, but yeah,
(21:37):
with the viewing, since I'mgoing to have a viewing, they're
going to put me in an oakcasket for the viewing and then
they'll put me back in thecardboard.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I'm going to come.
Isn't that funny?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
It is, but you're going to have an open casket
viewing.
Yes, can I bring markers?
Yeah, yeah, I'll draw somesmiley faces on.
I'll draw the smiley faces on.
I'll draw the podcast logoRight.
Honestly, I have trouble withopen casket funerals.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I've seen my aunt.
My aunt, that's, I think, thefirst and last one.
I went to stand behind, standnext to the coffin of my uncle,
and I, just, I, just, I didn't,I don't.
I knew I go ahead, let me backup.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
No, the viewing is for the family only.
Okay, and then the service isjust my urn going to be there.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
I had that mistaken, so is that?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
funeral home going to be there?
Okay, yeah, I had that mistaken.
So is that funeral home goingto?
They have connections with thecompany that does cremations.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Because the company that my daughter-in-law found
for Jim's cremations.
They came in a beautiful boxbecause that's the way they came
.
We didn't ask for it and Ididn't know it was going to.
I thought it was just going tocome in a cardboard box or
something.
So in the meantime I had not totake anything away from the
(23:14):
funeral place that you just wentto.
But I got Jim a gorgeous onewith a guitar on top and it was
only like $350.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, we got to choose my urn and there was a
whole book full to choose from.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Were they really expensive.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
No, no Matter of fact , I think my urn was like $300.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
And that included some of the small ones at $30 a
piece to go to the family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, halloween'sat $30 a piece to go to the
family.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah yeah yeah, because I know our friend Dee
and her husband passed away.
Afterwards she went onto thesite and you just Google it, you
can find the sites.
Because my goal, like I evenbought the big plastic box that
the urn with the guitar would gointo to put in the ground and
(24:03):
at his funeral someone said whywould you bury that?
Because it was sitting on topof the really nice box that the
cremation place sent.
And I was like I don't know.
So now I'm going crazy, I'mtrying to figure we've got to
get this funeral over, we've gotto go to the cemetery.
And so I said to Manny whichyou guys all know, manny helped
(24:27):
drive the, uh, my rv.
And I was like uh, so, and sosaid why are we, why are we
burying that?
And I'm like can you take halfout and put half in the one and
half in the other?
so it's like I did all thisstress of finding the plot and
then of course it was paid for,but we still had to pay $500 for
(24:49):
them to open it and $250 forthem to close it.
So I remember writing a checkat the cemetery to give to the
guy.
But I'm like, why did I do that?
Like what you just don't.
The point is, and why I waslike, yes, we need to talk about
this is when you're in it, asthe spouse left behind, you
can't make those decisions.
(25:10):
There was no reason for me toput half of them in the ground
except to be close to hissibling and his parents.
But I also found out which Ididn't know you can put four
urns in one plot.
Now that was in New Jersey andyou can put, I think, an urn and
(25:34):
a casket, so wherever youchoose to be buried, that's.
I'm just saying, ask thosequestions ahead of time, because
usually they don't tell you.
I'm assuming it's because theywant to sell you more plots, but
Jim's in a very old cemeteryand there's really not much left
.
You know, because his parents,once his brother died, they just
(25:56):
bought four.
But I never knew you could putfour urns.
You know cremations in one plotfor urns.
You know cremations in one plot.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Well, I knew from my sister's passing she was buried
in the plot with my mother.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Now was she cremated.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
She was cremated.
And your mom was not, and theytold us up here that you can put
a casket and an urn in the samehole.
Yeah, but what we're going todo is, if I go first, which more
than likely will happen I'mgoing to be cremated and the urn
will come here to the house andLinda will hang on to it, and
(26:34):
then, when she passes, they'llbury me with her.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, they can put you in hercasket maybe yeah.
Okay, yeah, they can put you inher casket maybe.
Yeah, okay, I always, you know,before, like years and years
ago, jim and I used to kidaround.
I'm like you know, I still wantto be on top, so you got to.
You know, let me put thecaskets.
They need to turn mine upsidedown.
Right right, I think that wasafter his mom passed away,
(27:02):
trying to find some levity in it.
But I didn't even know.
When his mom passed away, theynever mentioned that you could
put an urn in the same placethat you put a casket.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Well, depending on how long ago it may not have
been, that Cremation may nothave been such a big thing back
then, but now it is.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, because you know why it's least expensive.
And I know when I was inLouisiana when it happened and I
told you I couldn't even leavethe state until I knew Jim was
safely in New Jersey at myfriend's house and then I was
able to book my flight, andthat's one of the reasons why we
(27:43):
didn't have his service foralmost a month later, because
I'm like I need to know thathe's there first.
Yeah, and I have some of them.
I carry some of them.
It may sound morbid, but Icarry some of them with me in my
pocketbook.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, and they've got it even now where you can put
it in pendants for necklaces orcharms yep, I have a little
guitar necklace and some inthere.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I have some in a bracelet.
But my goal and mine andmanny's we said when we go to,
because we were supposed to goto national parks, that's what
he wanted to do so if I get tothem, I'm just, I may or may not
.
I don't want to get arrested.
Leave some of them behind.
Yeah, I did go where he askedme to marry him because it was
(28:32):
on a bridge overlooking thewater and I let a little vial go
there the first anniversaryafter he passed.
Yeah, it's not an easy topic tobring up, especially with your
loved one who is, you know,given this diagnosis, but
hopefully-.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I think it depends on how they look at it.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah Well, they should look at it like you.
Look at it, you know, like youdon't.
That's why we were sharing,like why you did it, and then
with me, me, I didn't do it, andhow incredibly hard it is to
make those decisions oh yeah, doit right afterwards and if you
have it all written down.
So where are you going to haveyour service?
(29:14):
Is it going to be in?
There at the funeral home oh,it's not going to be in oklahoma
.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No, okay, I'm just curious yeah, it's going to be
here in Caney.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Okay, and does Linda have a cemetery plot yet?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
No, we still have to do that.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
You think you're going to get it.
Yeah, caney, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I'm glad you mentioned that, because I'd
forgotten and that slipped mymind, about needing a cemetery
plot for her.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Now did they?
When you went in there, didthey give you a checklist of
things that they wanted to talkabout?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Maybe if you have that, if youcan send a picture of it, or
maybe I can call the cemeteryguy and ask him if he wants to
come on a podcast and talk aboutit.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, and also lobby dang, I know you had it, it went
right out.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I saw it in your eyes .
Yeah, it just went out.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I lost my train of thought.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
That's all right, you'll catch it.
We were talking about thecemetery guy, me maybe asking
him to come on and share.
It'll come back to you.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, it will it always does.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I can see why Curry was like we really need to do an
episode and talk about this soI can share yeah, there's so
much to it.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It took about two hours for each one of us to plan
each one out.
Yeah, two hours for mine andabout two hours for Linda's.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yeah, I remember when Jim's mom died, we were like we
need to get our wills and westarted it twice because the
kids were younger.
And then they're like, well,who will take the kids if you
die?
And after that person, who doyou want?
And after that person, who doyou want?
We were like, wow, yeah.
And after that person, who doyou want?
And after that person, who doyou want?
We were like, wow, yeah, youget overwhelmed.
So you did both in one sitting,four hours long.
(31:12):
Wow, no wonder why you've beenpooped out.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah, I mean it's.
It was quite an ordeal, like Isaid, but I'm so relieved I've
gotten it done.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Yeah, maybe if you're listening and you're thinking
about doing it, have them splitit into two sessions.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
You know, I would say I would recommend to do the
spouse without Louie first.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You know what I mean.
So the person with Louie cansee what.
So that gives you time to thinkabout things a little more.
Yeah, because you have to.
No, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
You choose the music they're going to play and all
that, yeah, and that's somethingwe we hadn't thought of, but we
had to sit there and thinkabout for a while?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
yeah so, but they did .
When you went in for the freedinner, free barbecue did they
give you a checklist then ofthings they're going to talk
about?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
they probably no they gave us a a folder with papers
in it that tells all that yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah they let you
plan it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, I think we just tapped into something we
probably should do to havesomebody from a oh, definitely.
A funeral home, not a cemetery.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
We're all going to have to deal with it, or our
loved ones will.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Yeah, and it's just, it isn't easy, even if you're
not sick, to think of yourmortality, you know.
But I'm going to say again andagain, and again not doing it
before your loved one passes.
It's so much harder on theperson left behind.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Because, well, you know, and you all listen to me,
I don't even remember doing thepodcast a week or so after he
passed.
I have no idea what I said, butyeah, it's like I said I would
not.
I don't know what would havehappened if I didn't have my
daughter-in-law helping me.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, that's kind of with us, because there were
decisions that our daughter andour granddaughter helped us make
that we really struggled with.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Right, yeah, yeah, and having them there with us
really helped.
Yeah, when we get done, send methe name of the cemetery and the
guy.
I might give him a call BecauseI think it would be great to
have that list posted.
We could post things that youtalked about so people can take
(33:35):
that list and jot everythingdown and then go to the cemetery
I mean, go to the funeral homeand already have all that,
instead of, like you did, johnny, on the spot trying to think of
things which I'm sure, if youthink of something now that you
want to change, you'd be able tochange it.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Oh, yeah, I can make changes.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Yeah, yeah, well, that's good you did that.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I can't stress enough how important it is to go ahead
and get it done.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yep, no one wants to do it, but it's a fact that
you're going to have to do itnow or leave it to your loved
ones later.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, and it's good for your kids or your loved ones
to know where your insurancepolicies are from, because I
remember I think Jim was coveredunder my teacher's pension
Because he officially I told youhe officially got severed from
(34:32):
work only four months before hepassed and he had a $500,000
policy.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
But neither of us knew when he officially stopped
working at the company that itwas going to go away.
So thankfully he was coveredunder my teacher's pension, but
my kids asking me where's theinsurance policy?
I'm, like I just said, go tothe filing cabinet and start
looking through all the files,because I wasn't in a mental
state to even clearly think thatone of the most important
(35:05):
papers we have in this house isin the safe.
You know what I mean.
I think that one of the mostimportant papers we have in this
house is in the safe.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like that's how jumbled yourbrain gets with grief is because
I was embarrassed when I foundit.
I'm like, oh my God, of courseit would be in the safe and it
was in this folded envelope andit was, you know, cemetery plots
right on it, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
So yeah, that's good.
That's what I've got on me is500,000.
And when she asked me how muchinsurance I had that night, she
asked me if I had insurance.
I said yeah.
She said how much?
How much is it?
I said 500.
And she sat there with thislook on her face and my daughter
said when you say 500, do youmean 500?
(35:50):
I said no, I meant 500, 000.
And she said, oh, you'd besurprised.
The the lady shirley.
She said, oh, you'd besurprised, but we do get people
coming in here with just a fivethousand dollar.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, a 500, 500 policy so let me ask you this
you're more we're worth moredead than alive.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Oh yeah, that's why I sleep with one eye open.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
That's amazing that you've been able to keep that
policy like I.
When they called me, we were inlouisiana four months before he
died and told me that, which II have nothing but praise for
his company because they kepthim on long-term disability for
two and a half years, which wasamazing.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Good.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
But I had to go outside and I had to sit down.
When they told me I'm like whatdo you mean?
He doesn't have a policyBecause the company paid into it
.
Also, I remember him payinglike $165 every two weeks For 30
years.
He paid that Right Because itwas attached to company, which
is strange because I've retiredand he still got covered under
(36:57):
mine and they said I could keepit, but it would be like $15,000
a month because it's so high.
Yeah, and he would have to gothrough a physical which they
clearly knew he had this disease.
But, yeah, that was.
I clearly didn't tell himeither.
I didn't even speak of it untilafter he passed, and then I
(37:20):
told the kids what happened.
But now the kids know where allmy stuff is, like there's a
spot and that's where all theimportant papers are.
It should be safe.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
I started off I had $300,000 policy and I tried to
get more than that and theinsurance company said we can't
do that for two years and I saidokay and so didn't even think
about it.
You know, and then somethinghappened to us on the road, I
(37:53):
don't remember what, and Idecided, told Linda.
I said I need to get some moreinsurance.
So I called the insurancecompany and they put another 500
, they put 300,000, I'm sorry,200, yeah, I had 300 on there
and they wrote me a new policyfor 500.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
I just canceled the 300,000.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah, but you have the paperwork.
Oh, yeah, did the funeral homeask for that paperwork so they
can confirm that?
Okay, yeah, you better sleepwith one eye open.
I might come, I know, right,wait, put me on your will first.
Yeah, and I might come, I knowright, wait, put me on your will
first.
Yeah, it just, I know why Jimdid it.
I know why you did it for thatamount of money, because he
(38:36):
wanted us to be taken care of,and then, when it was not there
anymore, that was, yeah, thatwas a hard one to deal with.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's why I say get in there and even if you have to
just make small payments, do it.
Yeah, and you may not even makepayments to the funeral home,
just put a little bit aside eachmonth yeah, yeah, or get a
problem they'll finance it up to10 years yeah, but with um life
insurance you'd have to get itbefore you were diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Definitely, you know, because that's anyway.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
That's one thing.
We decided that we would hangon.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Mm-hmm.
Well, that's very noble of youthat you've done that for her,
that you know she's going to beokay.
And does she have one on forher?
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Do what now?
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Does she have a life insurance policy for $500,000?
Speaker 1 (39:31):
No.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
So it's okay Sleep with one eye open, but that's
the.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Thing.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
You have to be able to bring humor into it, because
if you don't, that's when it canget really overwhelming.
You know, I mean when Jim saidI can remember.
I can distinctly remember himsaying okay, you show me all
these high-priced caskets.
Where's the one for the JaneDoe's?
I forget how he called itsomething, and I remember him
(40:02):
putting his hand on the small onmy back when he said that and
was leading me down to thebasement where they were.
And then, because they knewJim's parents, so they knew Jim
knew that there's this much,much, much cheaper, like 10% of
what they want to you know.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Yeah, caskets are expensive.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah, and I guess.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
I had thought about getting one from Walmart for
Linda, because you'd buy them atWalmart now.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You cannot, you cannot, you cannot.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I'm looking it up as you talk.
They're online.
They're online, but the thingabout it is, if something breaks
on it or something like that,the funeral home cannot get it
fixed, so you're left with abroken casket.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
See, you can get them at Walmart.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
You thought I was joking.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I did.
I thought you were telling ajoke.
Yeah, oh, my God, you can getpink ones and blue ones for $995
.
Yeah, they're cheap.
$ my God, you can get pink onesand blue ones and, yeah, oh,
for $995?
.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Yeah, they're cheap.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, but okay.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
A lot cheaper than from a funeral home.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
So, but for $795, you can get unfinished wood pine
casket, and that's what we got.
That's what we got for his mom.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Because we are just going to decay in it.
But I get it.
I get why some people want tohave top of the line and if
they're so blessed to be able toafford that, that's to each his
own.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
I see Linda's casket is going to have decorations on
each corner and they said,sometimes those will break and
if the one from Walmart breaks,you just got to go through the
ceremony with a broken casket.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
Oh, I was like yeah, I'm thinking, once it's in the
ground, do you care if it breaks, right?
But you know that's a salestactic too.
Yeah, put in there, dang.
I just had know that's a salestactic too.
Yeah, yeah, put in there, dang.
I just had a question that wentright in and out too.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Oh, did you.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
That's right.
Did you pick out yourgravestones yet?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
No, that we haven't done.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
You know it took me over two years to even walk into
a place to do it Right.
And it's the same thing.
You know you want this.
That, like you know, somepeople put I.
You know I put one that that'sfor me and him.
And you see some at cemeteriesthat have like james c and linda
(42:44):
, you know, yeah, and then hisbirth and death date and then
mine's left blank and I'm like Idon't know if I can go to a
cemetery and see my name.
I'm like just leave that side.
I mean I put an apple on a bookbecause I was a teacher, and a
guitar and a Harley on his side,but that was.
You know, it took me two yearsand the minute I walked into the
(43:06):
door I just broke two years andI, the minute I walked into the
door, I just broke, and I guessthey're used to that see, I'm
named after my grandpa and soevery time I go to the cemetery
I see my name, but it doesn'tbother me.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Some of the relatives ask me if it bothers me.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
No, it doesn't bother me well, because you know it's
your grandfather.
Yeah, so that's good.
Well, I hope you all listen.
Yeah, well, because you knowit's your grandfather.
Yeah, yeah, so that's good.
Well, I hope you all listen andthink about what we just shared
.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And if you haven't done it, there's so much more
than even what we talked abouttoday.
There's so much more that getstaken care of when you're in
there, pre-planning Right, andeven if you don't have the money
, go ahead and pre-plan, becauseyou'll have it all ready and
it'll be on record there withthe funeral home.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Yeah, you could sell tickets to admission, tickets to
pay for it.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I hope youdon't all think I'm sounding
morbid.
I'm just trying to inflicthumor into it.
Like I said, jim and I did whenhis mom died, it makes you like
, okay, we better do thisbecause we have young kids
(44:18):
Because, like you said, we'reall going to die eventually.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Definitely.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Well, thank you for sharing, and trust me when I
tell you no one's going to thinkyou were drunk when they heard
you last week.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I hope not, because it was really disappointing to
listen to it.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
To me you sounded tired, but I bet you, andrew,
could speed it up and make itnot sound like it.
You can sound like a chipmunkinstead.
Right, right, no, curry, you'rebeing real, and that's why we
started this podcast podcast toshare the ups and the downs.
And clearly now you know why.
They thought you were drunkprobably in that emergency room.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, yeah, makes sense .
Yeah, yeah, all right, buddy.
Okay, folks, that's all we havetime for this week, remember,
you can email us withsuggestions on what you'd like
us to discuss on a futureepisode, or you can ask any
questions you have, and we'llsure do our best to get you the
right answer.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yep, and remember, kyrie, my friend, post the links
to the podcast and both of ourLewy Body Roller Coaster
Facebook page and our Journeywith Lewy page and if you're
interested in helping us as avolunteer and advocate, please
send us your email atlouiebodyrollacoster at gmailcom
.
And honestly, the more peoplethat reach out to us, the more
(45:36):
people we can help, because wehave several people in our
support meetings and on ourpages who don't have anybody to
advocate for them.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
So think about that, especially if you know someone
who's been through the journeyand folks, if you want to learn
how you can be a supporter ofthe podcast, just see the
episode notes at the bottom.
That's where we post theinformation on that there.
Okay, folks?
Thanks again for joining us,until next week.
This is linda and curry signingoff.
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