July 10, 2025 • 39 mins
Ever found yourself unexpectedly emotional over a scene from The Office? That odd moment when Jim cuts his tie after Pam tears her veil, or when Michael is the only one who shows up to appreciate Pam's art? There's a psychological reason those moments hit so hard.
Welcome to a therapeutic journey through the halls of Dunder Mifflin, where we're unpacking what makes this workplace comedy secretly one of the most profound character studies on television. Beyond the cringe humor and paper sales lies a masterclass in attachment theory, relationship dynamics, and emotional growth.
Through a therapist's lens, we explore why Michael Scott's desperate need for approval masks deep abandonment wounds, how Jim's sarcasm serves as emotional armor against vulnerability, and why Pam's journey from people-pleaser to self-advocate mirrors the therapeutic process so many of us experience. We'll analyze each character through the framework of Internal Family Systems, revealing how their quirks, flaws, and defense mechanisms protect their most vulnerable parts.
Discover which Office character you most resemble psychologically—whether you're an anxiously attached Michael, an avoidant Jim, a rigid Angela, or somewhere in between. Learn how the show's most tender moments create such powerful emotional responses because they tap into universal human needs for connection, validation, and acceptance.
Whether you're a longtime fan who can quote every "that's what she said" or someone who's curious about how pop culture reflects our psychological patterns, this episode offers fresh insights into both the show and yourself. Because sometimes, the most profound healing doesn't happen in a therapist's office—it happens while watching a fictional paper company that nobody asked for but everybody needed.
Ready to see your favorite workplace comedy in an entirely new light? Grab your World's Best Boss mug and join us for a session of Licensed and Unfiltered.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
You think you're just watching a sitcom about a paper
company, but suddenly you'recrying over a teapot.
Welcome to the office and theemotional whiplash that somehow
feels like home.
A therapist walks into DunderMifflin.
I mean, who hasn't cried duringthe Jim and Pam wedding or
(00:29):
quoted that's what she saidduring a work meeting and
immediately regretted it?
Welcome back to Licensed andUnfiltered.
I'm Lina, your pocket-sizedtherapist with a hot take and a
heart, and today I decided to dosomething a little different.
This isn't your typical therapyepisode.
We're not unpacking diagnosesor diving into the DSM.
(00:52):
Today we're heading to Scranton, pennsylvania.
We're walking the chaotic,lovable halls of the Office.
Why?
Because lately I've beenre-watching it and I realized
something.
This show isn't just comfort TV.
It's a master class inrelationships, systems, trauma,
(01:14):
love and, dare I say, personalgrowth.
It holds a mirror up to thedysfunction we've all lived in
and makes us laugh through thecringe dysfunction we've all
lived in and makes us laughthrough the cringe.
And, honestly, what I love mostabout the Office is how
unapologetically cringe it is,how it leans into the awkward,
inappropriate, the messy.
(01:36):
But just when you think it'sall chaos and secondhand
embarrassment, it hits you withthe moment, so genuinely sweet,
so full of heart that you'resuddenly misty-eyed over a
stapler in Jell-O.
So in this episode I'm doingwhat I do best, breaking it all
down from a therapist's lens,but keeping it relatable.
(01:58):
We're talking about whichcharacters reflect parts of
ourselves.
Hello, anxious Michael andavoidant Jim, what toxic
workplace dynamics really looklike and why HR was never enough
, why the softest moments, likePam's art show or Kevin's chili,
(02:18):
hit us the hardest.
Whether you're a Dwight with asoft center, a Michael with a
father wound or a Pam finallylearning to speak up, this one's
for you Grab your mug that saysWorld's Best Boss and your
emotional support stapler.
Because we're going there.
And remember, healing doesn'talways happen in the therapist's
(02:41):
chair.
Sometimes it happens in a papercompany that nobody asked for
and everybody needed.
Dysfunctional Workplace Systems, aka HR Nightmares.
Let's talk about the collectivetrauma of working at Dunder
Mifflin.
Working at Dunder Mifflin,michael Scott, is every walking
(03:06):
HR violation.
But he's also deeply insecure,constantly seeking approval and
using humor as a defensemechanism.
Classic case of if I joke first, no one will reject me.
But underneath all of that is aman who genuinely cares about
his friends.
Yes, he calls them hisemployees, his family and once
(03:32):
even his subordinates Cringe.
But what he really means is heloves them Fiercely, sometimes
too fiercely, but it's real.
Dwight Schrute is ahigh-functioning chaos of a man,
(03:53):
a trauma response in a mustardshirt, loyal to a fault, rigid
to the bone and clearlyoperating with an anxious,
preoccupied attachment style.
But let's be honest, he'd fighta bear with a stapler for Jim
and he'd never admit it.
But he craves connection.
He just expresses it throughauthority, beet farming and
emergency drills that causeheart attacks.
(04:15):
Angela hides behind rules andrigidity, but it's all armor.
She's terrified ofvulnerability, allergic to
emotional risk and stuck in ashame loop that says being soft
is being weak.
Her moral superiority A shield,her judgments A deflection.
(04:38):
And yet there's tendernessburied under that icy exterior,
like when she admits she stillloves Dwight, even after all the
secrets and schemes.
Jim Halpert is the king ofsarcasm, but sarcasm is just
emotional armor with a punchline.
He keeps things light, so hedoesn't have to get too real.
(05:01):
He's avoidantly attached,emotionally intelligent and
allergic to confrontation unlesshe's silently judging you from
the corner of the office.
But he does grow.
He learns to show up.
He risks emotional honesty forPam, for himself and for their
future.
(05:23):
Pam Beasley is the quiet heartof the show.
She spends years silencing herneeds, second-guessing her worth
and shrinking herself to avoidrocking the boat.
But watch her.
Over time she finds her voice,she starts to dream again, she
chooses herself and that arc,that's therapy in motion.
(05:46):
This is not a healthy workenvironment by any stretch, but
it is a relatable one Becausewhen we strip away the weirdness
, the office pranks and theawkward silences, what we see
are real humans trying andfailing and trying again to feel
(06:07):
seen, valued and safe.
And that that's the realestthing about Dunder Mifflin
Character Snapshot Dysfunctionin a Button-Up.
Before we go deeper into systemsand diagnoses, let's do a quick
rundown of our lovable trainwrecks, because these characters
(06:29):
are the emotional ecosystem ofDunder Mifflin and spoiler.
Most of them would definitelybenefit from therapy.
Michael Scott, desperatelyseeking fatherly validation
through forced fun and badimpressions.
You can't help but cringe andcare.
Dwight Schrute A rigidprotector with a hidden soft
(06:54):
underbelly.
He leads with rules, loyalty andan alarming knowledge of beat
farming.
Jim Halpert, the king ofpassive resistance avoids
conflict, uses sarcasm as armorand feels way more than he lets
him.
Pam Beasley, a quietlyrepressed dreamer, soft-spoken,
(07:17):
self-sacrificing and on a slowburn towards self-assertion and
creative liberation, and on aslow burn towards self-assertion
and creative liberation.
Angela Martin Morality policewith a secret spicy side.
High standards and judgmenthide deep fear of rejection and
(07:38):
not being enough.
Andy Bernard oh, nard dog,insecure, approval-hungry and
one bad performance review.
Away from a banjo-fueledmeltdown, a walking identity
crisis.
He wants so badly to belong andunderneath the rage, quitting
and seeing is a deeply lost part.
Trying to figure out who he iswithout the performance and also
(08:03):
wanting to belong by just beinghimself.
Ryan Howard the ego in skinnyjeans.
All ambition, no accountability.
He's the part of us that wantsthe title without doing the work
.
Kelly Kapoor chaos in a fabulousoutfit.
She's dramatic, needy,impulsive and also kind of
(08:32):
brilliant, if anyone actuallypaid attention.
Erin Hannon pure-hearted andpainfully naive, she's the
wounded child looking for safelove in all the wrong places.
Toby Flenderson the quietlydepressed voice of reason no one
listens to.
He's emotionally constipated,but means well.
Stanley Hudson the internalizedboundary king, lives for
(08:58):
crossword puzzles and countingthe minutes until retirement.
Unbothered icon.
Phyllis Vance, the maternalarchetype with a mischievous
edge Sweet Sure, but don't crossher.
Meredith Palmer Unfiltered,numbed out and low-key.
(09:22):
Insightful.
Her coping skills scream traumahistory, but she's still
showing up.
So you have to give her somecredit.
Creed Bratton, a human feverdream the part of you that
embraces full chaos and somehowthrives in it.
Together they form a workplacefamily you didn't ask for but
(09:46):
you desperately miss when it'sgone.
And today we're unpacking howtheir dysfunction mirrors our
own in the funniest, mostunexpectedly heartfelt way
possible.
Romantic Dynamics at DunderMifflin.
Let's dissect the love lives ofour favorite office misfits,
jim and Pam, the slowest burnthat ever burned.
(10:11):
Jim fell for Pam from day one,not because she was splashy or
dramatic, but because she sawhim.
And even when she was with Roy,even when he moved to another
branch to protect his heart, thelove never really left.
What makes their love sospecial isn't just the timing,
(10:31):
it's the tenderness, it's thefriendship at the core.
It's the teapot gift, therooftop grilled cheese, the
support at her art show when noone else showed and, of course,
the forever wedding moment.
You know what I'm talking aboutJim cutting his tie because Pam
(10:52):
ripped her veil, everyoneawkwardly dancing down the aisle
.
That whole scene is therapy foryour inner child.
It's love wrapped in chaos andwe wouldn't have it any other
way.
Michael and Jan A masterclass inemotional masochism.
Jan is controlling, cold andspiraling, and Michael, he's
(11:17):
chasing validation in all thewrong places.
They're both trying to fillvoids with chaos and the result
is an endless loop ofcandle-scented trauma.
Michael and Holly though that'sa redemption art.
She's not just a love interest,she's a mirror.
She reflects his weirdness, histenderness, his need to feel
(11:39):
understood and for the firsttime, michael doesn't have to
perform to be loved, he just is.
The relationship reminds usthat the right person doesn't
try to fix your quirks.
They dance in them with you,Bad impressions and all.
(11:59):
Dwight and Angela this is themost buttoned-up, repressed,
bizarre love triangle in officehistory.
They're rigid, avoidant,emotionally constipated and yet
so deeply loyal.
Dwight builds her a SchruteFarms wedding venue.
Angela names her cat after him.
(12:21):
It's like a twisted rom-comwritten by someone who grew up
in a bunker.
These relationships might notbe perfect, but they're real and
the Office does something sobeautiful.
It shows us that love is rarelytidy.
It's awkward, inconvenient anddoesn't always arrive on
(12:42):
schedule.
But when it's real, it grows,it forgives, it dances down the
aisle in front of all yourco-workers to Chris Brown and
still makes you cry every timeTherapy Talk, ifs and Internal
Parts.
So let's break this down.
(13:03):
Therapy style.
Internal Family Systems tellsus we all have parts.
So let's break this down.
Therapy style.
Internal family systems tellsus we all have parts, inner
roles that try to protect us,manage us or carry pain from the
past.
And when you look at the officethese characters are basically
walking IFS case studies with aside of stapler in jello.
Let's go deeper.
(13:26):
Michael Scott, wounded innerchild in a grown man suit.
His protector part screams forattention so that his exiles,
loneliness and abandonment don'ttake over.
But with Holly he softens.
She co-regulates his chaos withmatching chaos and it's
(13:46):
honestly beautiful.
Pam Beasley Pam has a pleasermanager part that kept her small
for way too long.
She was the girl who didn'tspeak up, didn't chase her
dreams, didn't ask for more.
But her inner artist, her voice, it finally comes out and
(14:09):
watching her grow is likewatching someone come home to
themselves.
Jim Halpert Jim hides behind acool detachment part Sarcasm is
his love language until herealizes emotional intimacy
takes risk when he goes all inwith Pam.
We watch a protector part stepaside so a more vulnerable part
(14:31):
can finally lead.
We love to see it.
Dwight Schrute All rigid rulesand beat-fueled intensity, but
that's just a protector.
Rules and beat-fueled intensity.
But that's just a protectorUnderneath a deeply loyal,
(14:53):
weirdly romantic exile who wantsnothing more than love, legacy
and a woman who names her catsafter him.
His parts scream control, butwhisper, please don't leave me.
Angela Martin Her manager partsrun a shame-based regime.
Control equals safety, butshe's terrified of being seen
fully.
Her lover, dwight, is messy,imperfect and the crack in her
(15:16):
armor that lets the light in Herjourney is one of softening,
and it's slow but profound.
Ryan Howard Pure exiled ego, afragile sense of self masked by
ambition and a fear ofmediocrity.
His protector Narcissism.
(15:38):
His exile Total emptiness Inbehind the beard and wolfcom
delusion.
A man terrified of beingordinary.
Kelly kapoor her parts are likea rotating playlist of look at
me.
Strategies, dramatic managerpart, validation, seeking exile.
(16:01):
She grew up not feeling enough,so now she's everything all at
once Chaotic, confident, craving.
She's not just boy crazy, she'sconnection crazy.
Toby Flenderson, walking at setthis man is sadness and khakis.
(16:23):
His parts are tired.
He's withdrawn, emotionallydulled and always on the outside
looking in.
He doesn't speak up, notbecause he doesn't care, but
because somewhere someoneconvinced him his voice doesn't
matter.
Creed Bratton Creed isungovernable, likely dissociated
(16:51):
from all known parts, or maybehe's so spiritually integrated
that he transcends IFS.
Either way, the man is chaosembodied and probably running
from a few dozen unresolvedparts.
And the FBI, stanley Hudson,his protector part, is the eye
(17:13):
roll.
His exile Burnout, deepunspoken burnout.
His catchphrase should be Iworked hard my whole life and
I'm tired.
Leave me alone.
And honestly, he's earned thatnap.
He's earned that nap.
(17:34):
Meredith Palmer, a master classin parts, hijacking the system.
Trauma yes, addiction yes, butthere's also resilience.
Meredith has likely never knownsafe relationships, so she
over-identifies with hernumb-the-pain part.
But she shows up messy and all,and that counts.
(17:56):
Erin Hannon oh, sweet Erin.
She's all exiles, abandonment,fear, hope and zero protector
skills.
Her trauma leaks through hersunny demeanor.
She craves approval because herparts are still waiting for a
(18:16):
childhood that never came.
But she's lovable even in herawkwardness.
Holly Flax Holly is Michael'ssecure attachment fantasy.
Her parts are balanced, pureattachment fantasy.
Her parts are balanced,compassionate, firm and a little
quirky.
She doesn't try to fix Michael,she accepts him which,
(18:44):
ironically, is what helps himgrow.
Andy, bernard, andy is basicallya walking example of what
happens when your manager partsare people pleasers and your
exiles are filled with rage,rejection and suppressed
insecurity.
He tries to be liked too hard.
He sings, he smiles, he punchesholes in walls.
(19:05):
His protectors swing from doyou like me to why don't you
like me?
In 0.3 seconds, underneath alittle boy who never felt like
he was enough for his dad.
Andy just wants someone tochoose him and, for once, mean
it.
Therapy candidates who needs asession, or 12.
(19:29):
If I had a group practice inScranton, foof business would be
booming.
Let's talk about which DunderMifflin employees are screaming
for a therapist and maybe aweighted blanket.
Michael Scott Michael needstherapy like he needs air.
(19:51):
His attachment wounds run deepand he's constantly performing
to prove his worth.
Therapy would help him realizehe's lovable without the magic
tricks, the improv classes ordeclaring bankruptcy out loud.
Angela Zinner-Critic is runningthe show.
Her repression is Olympic-level.
(20:12):
She'd benefit from a safe spaceto unmask her rigid moral armor
and explore why softness feelsunsafe Spoiler.
It probably started way beforethe cats Dwight Schrute.
Dwight presents as confident,but therapy would peel back
layers of survivalist rigidityand emotional suppression Under
(20:35):
all the rules in meat farming.
Bravado, a deeply sensitive manwho's never been taught what
vulnerability looks like.
Andy, bernard, andy would be aweekly regular.
We're talking emotionregulation, unresolved family
dynamics, identity issues andmaybe a little anger management.
(20:56):
Thrown in the Cornell prideTotal protector part Inside.
He's terrified of beingmediocre.
Pam Beasley Pam would come innot knowing what she needs, just
as something feels off.
We'd work on self-trust,creative identity and permission
(21:18):
to take up space.
It's less fix Pam and moreremind her she's allowed to want
more.
Jim Halpert Jim thinks he'sabove therapy, but give it time.
Behind the smirks is a guy whoavoids discomfort like it's the
plague.
Therapy would help him explorehow his sarcasm is actually a
(21:40):
shield and maybe, just maybe,encourage him to actually feel
things.
Holly Flacks Honestly, holly ispretty emotionally healthy.
She's got solid boundaries, asense of humor and enough
self-awareness to make therapymore about maintenance than
(22:00):
crisis.
But she would definitely be thetherapist's favorite client.
We all have one, tobyFlenderson.
Toby is a therapist in denial,but he needs one himself.
A good trauma-informedtherapist would help him reclaim
(22:21):
his voice, confront his chronicpassive withdrawal and find joy
outside of quietly pining forPam from 20 feet away.
Angela, again Honestly, Angelamight resist therapy.
At first She'd sit stiffly onthe couch and call it
self-indulgent, but once sheopens up she's sitting on
(22:46):
decades of unmet emotional needs, religious guilt and intimacy
fear.
Religious guilt and intimacyfear Stanley.
He doesn't need therapy.
He needs early retirement, astiff drink and peace.
Give the man a crossword puzzleand let him rest.
(23:08):
Everyone in this office couldbenefit from therapy, but the
ones who resist it the most yeah, those are usually the ones who
need it most.
Attachment styles why they lovethe way they do.
Let's talk attachment theory.
You know those patterns wedevelop in childhood that tell
us how safe it is or isn't toget close to others.
(23:30):
Now the office doesn't exactlyscream secure attachment, but it
does give us a juicy buffet ofattachment styles in action.
Michael Scott Anxiousattachment.
Michael is textbook anxious.
He cleans, he overshares, heproposes.
(23:52):
After three dates His biggestfear is abandonment and he will
cringe, sprint into love toavoid being alone.
The sad part, he doesn't evenknow he's doing it.
But when Holly comes along,calm, kind, secure, his chaos
(24:14):
finds a little safety.
And that's the magic of earnedsecurity folks.
Pam Beasley fearful avoidantturned secure.
Early Pam, total, fearfulavoidant.
She stays with Roy, not out oflove but out of fear of rocking
(24:35):
the boat, of choosing herself.
But over time, with Jim'spatience and her own growth.
She moves into something moresecure.
She begins to ask for what sheneeds.
And yes, we cheered.
We cheered Jim Halpert ofBoydent Attachment.
(24:56):
Jim's chill vibes are a defensemechanism.
He avoids conflict, withholdshis feelings and uses sarcasm as
a buffer.
Love makes him vulnerable.
Invulnerability is scary.
But when he finally lets Pam inhe starts to integrate and we
(25:19):
see him choose connection overself-protection.
Dwight Schrute Avoidant with asecret soft core, dwight can
love at a distance, withstructure, rules and beat.
But when you look closer he'sdeeply loyal.
His love for Angela is fierceand private.
His growth comes from lettinghis walls down and learning that
(25:45):
intimacy doesn't have to meetweakness.
Angela Martin anxious,preoccupied with the side of
control, with the side ofcontrol.
Angela's strict morality andjudgment, pure defense.
She's anxious, but instead ofchasing love with affection, she
chases it with control.
She fears vulnerability, so shecloaks it in rigidity.
(26:15):
But Dwight sees her, reallysees her, and eventually she
lets herself be seen.
Andy Bernard DisorganizedAttachment.
Andy is chaos.
One minute he's love-bombing,the next he's spiraling into
rage.
He's desperate for connectionbut terrified of rejection.
Desperate for connection butterrified of rejection.
(26:37):
His childhood left him withinconsistent love, so his adult
relationships mimic thatinstability.
He doesn't know how to be lovedwithout performing and I know I
said that I wouldn't bediagnosing any of these
characters, but Andy is.
Andy falls in line with signsthat he might have ADHD.
(26:58):
Holly Flacks secure attachmentqueen.
Finally, some balance.
Holly is grounded, empatheticand emotionally attuned.
She doesn't chase, she doesn'tavoid.
She loves Michael, not in spiteof his quirks but because of
them, and in doing so shebecomes a safe haven, a secure
(27:21):
base.
Her love doesn't rescue him, itmeets him.
Attachment styles aren't fixed.
They evolve throughrelationships, healing and yep
therapy.
And the office shows us thattransformation in the most
awkward, cringey, beautiful ways.
(27:45):
Let's take a mini quiz what'syour attachment style?
Okay, real talk.
If you were dating Jim, michaelor Angela, what kind of partner
would you be?
Let's find out with thisrapid-fire reflection.
Answer yes or no to each of thefollowing.
(28:07):
Number one do you get anxiouswhen someone takes a while to
text back?
Number two Do you tend to pullaway or shut down when things
get too emotionally intense?
Number three Do you fear beingtoo much for others?
(28:27):
Number four Do you try to fixpeople you date?
Number five Is emotionalintimacy uncomfortable, even
with people you love.
Number six do you feel like youalways give more than you get
in relationships?
Number seven are you highlyindependent and sometimes proud
of not needing anyone?
(28:48):
Number eight do you findyourself second-guessing your
worth after conflict?
Now count your yes answers andmatch your results One and two.
If you answered one and twowith a yes, you might lean more
(29:08):
secure.
You're comfortable withcloseness but can also hold
boundaries A true Holly Flax inthe wild.
If you answered three and fourwith a yes, you could be rocking
an anxious attachment style.
You crave connection but mayfear abandonment.
Pam before Jim really saw her.
If you answered five and sixwith a yes, sounds a bit
(29:32):
avoidant.
You value independence but maystruggle to fully open up Gym
vibes with some emotionaldetachment sprinkled in.
If you answered seven and eightwith a yes, you might relate to
fearful, avoidant, disorganizedattachment.
Intimacy feels both appealingand terrifying.
You want love but feel unsafein it, like Andy on a downward
(29:56):
spiral.
Here's a reminder.
This isn't a diagnosis, it's amirror.
A nudge, a little moment.
Your attachment style isn't whoyou are, it's where you've been
.
And the good news Withawareness and support it can
(30:17):
evolve, because healing doesn'tmean becoming someone new.
It means coming back to who youwere before the world told you
love had to hurt.
Which office character are you?
Let's play a little game.
Okay, so you've been bingingthe Office for years, but have
(30:39):
you ever stopped mid-episode andthought oh no, I'm totally an
Angela.
Well, today we're leaning intherapist style.
This isn't just a personalityquiz.
It's a moment of reflection,because the character you
resonate with that's telling yousomething about your parts,
(31:00):
your patterns and maybe evenyour past.
So who are you?
If you're a Michael Scott,you're probably someone who's
terrified of abandonment.
You mask it with humor, chaosand trying way too hard to be
liked.
Your inner child is front andcenter and just wants to feel
important.
(31:20):
We see you, michael.
If you're a gym helper, youtend to keep things at a
distance, emotionally avoidant,sarcastic, but secretly
sensitive.
You might struggle to speak upuntil it's really important and
then, oh, you feel it deeplyLooking at you, teapot gift.
(31:42):
If you're a Pam Beasley, you'resoft, intuitive and emotionally
attuned to everyone exceptyourself.
You might stay small to avoidrocking the boat, but you're
braver than you think and whenyou finally choose yourself,
it's beautiful.
(32:04):
If you're a Dwight Schrute,boundaries are your love
language.
But good luck admitting it.
You're fiercely loyal,rule-driven and secretly tender.
You don't say I love you, youjust show up with a homemade
security system and a beatbouquet.
If you're an Angela Martin,structure is your safety net.
(32:27):
You control the outside becausethe inside feels scary.
But behind that judgment is adeep longing to be chosen for
who you are Quirks, cats and all.
If you're an Andy Bernard, youcrave validation.
You're performingpeople-pleasing and sometimes
(32:48):
losing yourself in the process,but underneath all that, a
deeply earnest human trying tofigure out who they are without
the applause.
If you're a Kelly Kapoor, youfeel everything all the time and
don't hide it.
You want love, attention, drama, connection more and honestly
(33:13):
you deserve more.
You just need someone who seespast the sparkle and into your
soul.
If you're a Ryan Howard, youprobably dissociate through
ambition.
You're scared of being ordinary, but the hustle is a mass Deep
down.
There's a part of you thatfeels unlovable unless you're
(33:33):
impressive.
Let's work on that.
If you're an Aaron Hannon, youlead with innocence and
eagerness to please, but you'veprobably been through some stuff
.
You're looking for safety,belonging and someone to say you
don't have to earn love anymoreand someone to say you don't
have to earn love anymore.
(33:55):
If you're a Toby Flenderson,you're emotionally cautious.
You don't want to bother anyone.
You carry quiet hurt.
But just because you don'tshout doesn't mean your needs
don't matter.
If you're a Stanley Hudson,you've mastered the art of
(34:28):
disengaging.
You've probably been burned bysystems before you're nurturing
with a dash of passiveaggression.
You keep the peace but carryunspoken resentment.
You want to be seen for morethan your softness, and you
absolutely should be.
If you're a Meredith Palmer,you cope through chaos.
(34:49):
Humor, detachment and wildbehavior are your shields.
But underneath that, yeah,you've been through it and your
survival is a story worthhonoring.
And finally, if you're a creedratten, I honestly don't know
(35:11):
how you got here, but I respectthe vibe.
What we learned about boundariesPam said no to Roy.
Daryl advocated for his worth.
Michael had none.
This show taught us what aboundary violation looks like
(35:34):
like Jan moving in with Michaelmid-breakdown.
Or what people-pleasing lookslike like Andy agreeing to
things he hates.
Or what growth looks like likePam going to art school.
Foundries aren't rejection,they're self-respect in action.
The masks we wear let's get real.
(35:55):
Everyone's performing.
Jim wears the cool guy mask,anything to avoid being
vulnerable.
Angela wears the judgment mask,keeps her power and hides her
fear.
Andy wears the clown mask.
Humor equals survival.
Kelly wears the clown mask.
Humor equals survival.
Kelly wears the drama mask.
(36:17):
Drama equals visibility.
Pam wears the quiet mask.
It keeps the peace but silencestruth.
We wear masks because welearned they kept us safe.
But real connection thatrequires taking them off.
Ask yourself what's your maskand what's it protecting?
(36:42):
Letters to their younger selves.
Jen's letter says you don'tneed a perfect moment to go
after what you love.
Pam's letter says it's okay toask for more.
You're allowed.
Dwight says power doesn'tprotect you, love does.
(37:02):
Angela's letter says you don'thave to earn worth by being
right.
And Michael's letter saysyou're already lovable just as
you are.
And to you, dear listener, youare not behind, you're not too
emotional, too late or too much.
(37:23):
You're just human Listener.
Reflection Prompt.
Think of your own personalDunder Mifflin, the environment
where you learned how tonavigate people.
What role did you play?
Were you the peacemaker, theoverachiever, the one no one
(37:43):
noticed?
Now ask yourself do I stillwear that identity today?
And if so, do I want to?
Tender moments that make us cry.
I had to highlight some ofthese because they're some of my
favorite moments of the entireshow, pam's art show.
(38:08):
Jim shows up.
She finally feels seen.
Michael's farewell that's whatshe said through tears.
Dwight's wedding Michael showsup full circle.
Kevin's chilly Chaos, but alsoheart.
(38:28):
And Jim's proposal at the gasstation Unexpected, intimate,
perfect.
These aren't just scenes.
They're stories of healing, ofbeing known, Of finally letting
someone see you.
So, whether you're the Angelaof your office, the Jim trying
(38:51):
not to feel things or theMichael just trying to be loved,
this episode was for you.
The office made us laugh.
Then it quietly taught us howto love, to leave and to grow.
If you've made it this far,thank you for being the kind of
person who finds meaning incharacters, laughter, in chaos
(39:12):
and depth in a show about papersales.
Until next time, this is Lena,your therapist, in your back
pocket, reminding you to takeoff the mask, reclaim your voice
and, for the love of all thatis holy, don't spill the chili.
Thank you.
You think you're just watching a sitcom about a paper
company, but suddenly you'recrying over a teapot.
Welcome to the office and theemotional whiplash that somehow
feels like home.
A therapist walks into DunderMifflin.
I mean, who hasn't cried duringthe Jim and Pam wedding or
(00:29):
quoted that's what she saidduring a work meeting and
immediately regretted it?
Welcome back to Licensed andUnfiltered.
I'm Lina, your pocket-sizedtherapist with a hot take and a
heart, and today I decided to dosomething a little different.
This isn't your typical therapyepisode.
We're not unpacking diagnosesor diving into the DSM.
(00:52):
Today we're heading to Scranton, pennsylvania.
We're walking the chaotic,lovable halls of the Office.
Why?
Because lately I've beenre-watching it and I realized
something.
This show isn't just comfort TV.
It's a master class inrelationships, systems, trauma,
(01:14):
love and, dare I say, personalgrowth.
It holds a mirror up to thedysfunction we've all lived in
and makes us laugh through thecringe dysfunction we've all
lived in and makes us laughthrough the cringe.
And, honestly, what I love mostabout the Office is how
unapologetically cringe it is,how it leans into the awkward,
inappropriate, the messy.
(01:36):
But just when you think it'sall chaos and secondhand
embarrassment, it hits you withthe moment, so genuinely sweet,
so full of heart that you'resuddenly misty-eyed over a
stapler in Jell-O.
So in this episode I'm doingwhat I do best, breaking it all
down from a therapist's lens,but keeping it relatable.
(01:58):
We're talking about whichcharacters reflect parts of
ourselves.
Hello, anxious Michael andavoidant Jim, what toxic
workplace dynamics really looklike and why HR was never enough
, why the softest moments, likePam's art show or Kevin's chili,
(02:18):
hit us the hardest.
Whether you're a Dwight with asoft center, a Michael with a
father wound or a Pam finallylearning to speak up, this one's
for you Grab your mug that saysWorld's Best Boss and your
emotional support stapler.
Because we're going there.
And remember, healing doesn'talways happen in the therapist's
(02:41):
chair.
Sometimes it happens in a papercompany that nobody asked for
and everybody needed.
Dysfunctional Workplace Systems, aka HR Nightmares.
Let's talk about the collectivetrauma of working at Dunder
Mifflin.
Working at Dunder Mifflin,michael Scott, is every walking
(03:06):
HR violation.
But he's also deeply insecure,constantly seeking approval and
using humor as a defensemechanism.
Classic case of if I joke first, no one will reject me.
But underneath all of that is aman who genuinely cares about
his friends.
Yes, he calls them hisemployees, his family and once
(03:32):
even his subordinates Cringe.
But what he really means is heloves them Fiercely, sometimes
too fiercely, but it's real.
Dwight Schrute is ahigh-functioning chaos of a man,
(03:53):
a trauma response in a mustardshirt, loyal to a fault, rigid
to the bone and clearlyoperating with an anxious,
preoccupied attachment style.
But let's be honest, he'd fighta bear with a stapler for Jim
and he'd never admit it.
But he craves connection.
He just expresses it throughauthority, beet farming and
emergency drills that causeheart attacks.
(04:15):
Angela hides behind rules andrigidity, but it's all armor.
She's terrified ofvulnerability, allergic to
emotional risk and stuck in ashame loop that says being soft
is being weak.
Her moral superiority A shield,her judgments A deflection.
(04:38):
And yet there's tendernessburied under that icy exterior,
like when she admits she stillloves Dwight, even after all the
secrets and schemes.
Jim Halpert is the king ofsarcasm, but sarcasm is just
emotional armor with a punchline.
He keeps things light, so hedoesn't have to get too real.
(05:01):
He's avoidantly attached,emotionally intelligent and
allergic to confrontation unlesshe's silently judging you from
the corner of the office.
But he does grow.
He learns to show up.
He risks emotional honesty forPam, for himself and for their
future.
(05:23):
Pam Beasley is the quiet heartof the show.
She spends years silencing herneeds, second-guessing her worth
and shrinking herself to avoidrocking the boat.
But watch her.
Over time she finds her voice,she starts to dream again, she
chooses herself and that arc,that's therapy in motion.
(05:46):
This is not a healthy workenvironment by any stretch, but
it is a relatable one Becausewhen we strip away the weirdness
, the office pranks and theawkward silences, what we see
are real humans trying andfailing and trying again to feel
(06:07):
seen, valued and safe.
And that that's the realestthing about Dunder Mifflin
Character Snapshot Dysfunctionin a Button-Up.
Before we go deeper into systemsand diagnoses, let's do a quick
rundown of our lovable trainwrecks, because these characters
(06:29):
are the emotional ecosystem ofDunder Mifflin and spoiler.
Most of them would definitelybenefit from therapy.
Michael Scott, desperatelyseeking fatherly validation
through forced fun and badimpressions.
You can't help but cringe andcare.
Dwight Schrute A rigidprotector with a hidden soft
(06:54):
underbelly.
He leads with rules, loyalty andan alarming knowledge of beat
farming.
Jim Halpert, the king ofpassive resistance avoids
conflict, uses sarcasm as armorand feels way more than he lets
him.
Pam Beasley, a quietlyrepressed dreamer, soft-spoken,
(07:17):
self-sacrificing and on a slowburn towards self-assertion and
creative liberation, and on aslow burn towards self-assertion
and creative liberation.
Angela Martin Morality policewith a secret spicy side.
High standards and judgmenthide deep fear of rejection and
(07:38):
not being enough.
Andy Bernard oh, nard dog,insecure, approval-hungry and
one bad performance review.
Away from a banjo-fueledmeltdown, a walking identity
crisis.
He wants so badly to belong andunderneath the rage, quitting
and seeing is a deeply lost part.
Trying to figure out who he iswithout the performance and also
(08:03):
wanting to belong by just beinghimself.
Ryan Howard the ego in skinnyjeans.
All ambition, no accountability.
He's the part of us that wantsthe title without doing the work
.
Kelly Kapoor chaos in a fabulousoutfit.
She's dramatic, needy,impulsive and also kind of
(08:32):
brilliant, if anyone actuallypaid attention.
Erin Hannon pure-hearted andpainfully naive, she's the
wounded child looking for safelove in all the wrong places.
Toby Flenderson the quietlydepressed voice of reason no one
listens to.
He's emotionally constipated,but means well.
Stanley Hudson the internalizedboundary king, lives for
(08:58):
crossword puzzles and countingthe minutes until retirement.
Unbothered icon.
Phyllis Vance, the maternalarchetype with a mischievous
edge Sweet Sure, but don't crossher.
Meredith Palmer Unfiltered,numbed out and low-key.
(09:22):
Insightful.
Her coping skills scream traumahistory, but she's still
showing up.
So you have to give her somecredit.
Creed Bratton, a human feverdream the part of you that
embraces full chaos and somehowthrives in it.
Together they form a workplacefamily you didn't ask for but
(09:46):
you desperately miss when it'sgone.
And today we're unpacking howtheir dysfunction mirrors our
own in the funniest, mostunexpectedly heartfelt way
possible.
Romantic Dynamics at DunderMifflin.
Let's dissect the love lives ofour favorite office misfits,
jim and Pam, the slowest burnthat ever burned.
(10:11):
Jim fell for Pam from day one,not because she was splashy or
dramatic, but because she sawhim.
And even when she was with Roy,even when he moved to another
branch to protect his heart, thelove never really left.
What makes their love sospecial isn't just the timing,
(10:31):
it's the tenderness, it's thefriendship at the core.
It's the teapot gift, therooftop grilled cheese, the
support at her art show when noone else showed and, of course,
the forever wedding moment.
You know what I'm talking aboutJim cutting his tie because Pam
(10:52):
ripped her veil, everyoneawkwardly dancing down the aisle
.
That whole scene is therapy foryour inner child.
It's love wrapped in chaos andwe wouldn't have it any other
way.
Michael and Jan A masterclass inemotional masochism.
Jan is controlling, cold andspiraling, and Michael, he's
(11:17):
chasing validation in all thewrong places.
They're both trying to fillvoids with chaos and the result
is an endless loop ofcandle-scented trauma.
Michael and Holly though that'sa redemption art.
She's not just a love interest,she's a mirror.
She reflects his weirdness, histenderness, his need to feel
(11:39):
understood and for the firsttime, michael doesn't have to
perform to be loved, he just is.
The relationship reminds usthat the right person doesn't
try to fix your quirks.
They dance in them with you,Bad impressions and all.
(11:59):
Dwight and Angela this is themost buttoned-up, repressed,
bizarre love triangle in officehistory.
They're rigid, avoidant,emotionally constipated and yet
so deeply loyal.
Dwight builds her a SchruteFarms wedding venue.
Angela names her cat after him.
(12:21):
It's like a twisted rom-comwritten by someone who grew up
in a bunker.
These relationships might notbe perfect, but they're real and
the Office does something sobeautiful.
It shows us that love is rarelytidy.
It's awkward, inconvenient anddoesn't always arrive on
(12:42):
schedule.
But when it's real, it grows,it forgives, it dances down the
aisle in front of all yourco-workers to Chris Brown and
still makes you cry every timeTherapy Talk, ifs and Internal
Parts.
So let's break this down.
(13:03):
Therapy style.
Internal Family Systems tellsus we all have parts.
So let's break this down.
Therapy style.
Internal family systems tellsus we all have parts, inner
roles that try to protect us,manage us or carry pain from the
past.
And when you look at the officethese characters are basically
walking IFS case studies with aside of stapler in jello.
Let's go deeper.
(13:26):
Michael Scott, wounded innerchild in a grown man suit.
His protector part screams forattention so that his exiles,
loneliness and abandonment don'ttake over.
But with Holly he softens.
She co-regulates his chaos withmatching chaos and it's
(13:46):
honestly beautiful.
Pam Beasley Pam has a pleasermanager part that kept her small
for way too long.
She was the girl who didn'tspeak up, didn't chase her
dreams, didn't ask for more.
But her inner artist, her voice, it finally comes out and
(14:09):
watching her grow is likewatching someone come home to
themselves.
Jim Halpert Jim hides behind acool detachment part Sarcasm is
his love language until herealizes emotional intimacy
takes risk when he goes all inwith Pam.
We watch a protector part stepaside so a more vulnerable part
(14:31):
can finally lead.
We love to see it.
Dwight Schrute All rigid rulesand beat-fueled intensity, but
that's just a protector.
Rules and beat-fueled intensity.
But that's just a protectorUnderneath a deeply loyal,
(14:53):
weirdly romantic exile who wantsnothing more than love, legacy
and a woman who names her catsafter him.
His parts scream control, butwhisper, please don't leave me.
Angela Martin Her manager partsrun a shame-based regime.
Control equals safety, butshe's terrified of being seen
fully.
Her lover, dwight, is messy,imperfect and the crack in her
(15:16):
armor that lets the light in Herjourney is one of softening,
and it's slow but profound.
Ryan Howard Pure exiled ego, afragile sense of self masked by
ambition and a fear ofmediocrity.
His protector Narcissism.
(15:38):
His exile Total emptiness Inbehind the beard and wolfcom
delusion.
A man terrified of beingordinary.
Kelly kapoor her parts are likea rotating playlist of look at
me.
Strategies, dramatic managerpart, validation, seeking exile.
(16:01):
She grew up not feeling enough,so now she's everything all at
once Chaotic, confident, craving.
She's not just boy crazy, she'sconnection crazy.
Toby Flenderson, walking at setthis man is sadness and khakis.
(16:23):
His parts are tired.
He's withdrawn, emotionallydulled and always on the outside
looking in.
He doesn't speak up, notbecause he doesn't care, but
because somewhere someoneconvinced him his voice doesn't
matter.
Creed Bratton Creed isungovernable, likely dissociated
(16:51):
from all known parts, or maybehe's so spiritually integrated
that he transcends IFS.
Either way, the man is chaosembodied and probably running
from a few dozen unresolvedparts.
And the FBI, stanley Hudson,his protector part, is the eye
(17:13):
roll.
His exile Burnout, deepunspoken burnout.
His catchphrase should be Iworked hard my whole life and
I'm tired.
Leave me alone.
And honestly, he's earned thatnap.
He's earned that nap.
(17:34):
Meredith Palmer, a master classin parts, hijacking the system.
Trauma yes, addiction yes, butthere's also resilience.
Meredith has likely never knownsafe relationships, so she
over-identifies with hernumb-the-pain part.
But she shows up messy and all,and that counts.
(17:56):
Erin Hannon oh, sweet Erin.
She's all exiles, abandonment,fear, hope and zero protector
skills.
Her trauma leaks through hersunny demeanor.
She craves approval because herparts are still waiting for a
(18:16):
childhood that never came.
But she's lovable even in herawkwardness.
Holly Flax Holly is Michael'ssecure attachment fantasy.
Her parts are balanced, pureattachment fantasy.
Her parts are balanced,compassionate, firm and a little
quirky.
She doesn't try to fix Michael,she accepts him which,
(18:44):
ironically, is what helps himgrow.
Andy, bernard, andy is basicallya walking example of what
happens when your manager partsare people pleasers and your
exiles are filled with rage,rejection and suppressed
insecurity.
He tries to be liked too hard.
He sings, he smiles, he punchesholes in walls.
(19:05):
His protectors swing from doyou like me to why don't you
like me?
In 0.3 seconds, underneath alittle boy who never felt like
he was enough for his dad.
Andy just wants someone tochoose him and, for once, mean
it.
Therapy candidates who needs asession, or 12.
(19:29):
If I had a group practice inScranton, foof business would be
booming.
Let's talk about which DunderMifflin employees are screaming
for a therapist and maybe aweighted blanket.
Michael Scott Michael needstherapy like he needs air.
(19:51):
His attachment wounds run deepand he's constantly performing
to prove his worth.
Therapy would help him realizehe's lovable without the magic
tricks, the improv classes ordeclaring bankruptcy out loud.
Angela Zinner-Critic is runningthe show.
Her repression is Olympic-level.
(20:12):
She'd benefit from a safe spaceto unmask her rigid moral armor
and explore why softness feelsunsafe Spoiler.
It probably started way beforethe cats Dwight Schrute.
Dwight presents as confident,but therapy would peel back
layers of survivalist rigidityand emotional suppression Under
(20:35):
all the rules in meat farming.
Bravado, a deeply sensitive manwho's never been taught what
vulnerability looks like.
Andy, bernard, andy would be aweekly regular.
We're talking emotionregulation, unresolved family
dynamics, identity issues andmaybe a little anger management.
(20:56):
Thrown in the Cornell prideTotal protector part Inside.
He's terrified of beingmediocre.
Pam Beasley Pam would come innot knowing what she needs, just
as something feels off.
We'd work on self-trust,creative identity and permission
(21:18):
to take up space.
It's less fix Pam and moreremind her she's allowed to want
more.
Jim Halpert Jim thinks he'sabove therapy, but give it time.
Behind the smirks is a guy whoavoids discomfort like it's the
plague.
Therapy would help him explorehow his sarcasm is actually a
(21:40):
shield and maybe, just maybe,encourage him to actually feel
things.
Holly Flacks Honestly, holly ispretty emotionally healthy.
She's got solid boundaries, asense of humor and enough
self-awareness to make therapymore about maintenance than
(22:00):
crisis.
But she would definitely be thetherapist's favorite client.
We all have one, tobyFlenderson.
Toby is a therapist in denial,but he needs one himself.
A good trauma-informedtherapist would help him reclaim
(22:21):
his voice, confront his chronicpassive withdrawal and find joy
outside of quietly pining forPam from 20 feet away.
Angela, again Honestly, Angelamight resist therapy.
At first She'd sit stiffly onthe couch and call it
self-indulgent, but once sheopens up she's sitting on
(22:46):
decades of unmet emotional needs, religious guilt and intimacy
fear.
Religious guilt and intimacyfear Stanley.
He doesn't need therapy.
He needs early retirement, astiff drink and peace.
Give the man a crossword puzzleand let him rest.
(23:08):
Everyone in this office couldbenefit from therapy, but the
ones who resist it the most yeah, those are usually the ones who
need it most.
Attachment styles why they lovethe way they do.
Let's talk attachment theory.
You know those patterns wedevelop in childhood that tell
us how safe it is or isn't toget close to others.
(23:30):
Now the office doesn't exactlyscream secure attachment, but it
does give us a juicy buffet ofattachment styles in action.
Michael Scott Anxiousattachment.
Michael is textbook anxious.
He cleans, he overshares, heproposes.
(23:52):
After three dates His biggestfear is abandonment and he will
cringe, sprint into love toavoid being alone.
The sad part, he doesn't evenknow he's doing it.
But when Holly comes along,calm, kind, secure, his chaos
(24:14):
finds a little safety.
And that's the magic of earnedsecurity folks.
Pam Beasley fearful avoidantturned secure.
Early Pam, total, fearfulavoidant.
She stays with Roy, not out oflove but out of fear of rocking
(24:35):
the boat, of choosing herself.
But over time, with Jim'spatience and her own growth.
She moves into something moresecure.
She begins to ask for what sheneeds.
And yes, we cheered.
We cheered Jim Halpert ofBoydent Attachment.
(24:56):
Jim's chill vibes are a defensemechanism.
He avoids conflict, withholdshis feelings and uses sarcasm as
a buffer.
Love makes him vulnerable.
Invulnerability is scary.
But when he finally lets Pam inhe starts to integrate and we
(25:19):
see him choose connection overself-protection.
Dwight Schrute Avoidant with asecret soft core, dwight can
love at a distance, withstructure, rules and beat.
But when you look closer he'sdeeply loyal.
His love for Angela is fierceand private.
His growth comes from lettinghis walls down and learning that
(25:45):
intimacy doesn't have to meetweakness.
Angela Martin anxious,preoccupied with the side of
control, with the side ofcontrol.
Angela's strict morality andjudgment, pure defense.
She's anxious, but instead ofchasing love with affection, she
chases it with control.
She fears vulnerability, so shecloaks it in rigidity.
(26:15):
But Dwight sees her, reallysees her, and eventually she
lets herself be seen.
Andy Bernard DisorganizedAttachment.
Andy is chaos.
One minute he's love-bombing,the next he's spiraling into
rage.
He's desperate for connectionbut terrified of rejection.
Desperate for connection butterrified of rejection.
(26:37):
His childhood left him withinconsistent love, so his adult
relationships mimic thatinstability.
He doesn't know how to be lovedwithout performing and I know I
said that I wouldn't bediagnosing any of these
characters, but Andy is.
Andy falls in line with signsthat he might have ADHD.
(26:58):
Holly Flacks secure attachmentqueen.
Finally, some balance.
Holly is grounded, empatheticand emotionally attuned.
She doesn't chase, she doesn'tavoid.
She loves Michael, not in spiteof his quirks but because of
them, and in doing so shebecomes a safe haven, a secure
(27:21):
base.
Her love doesn't rescue him, itmeets him.
Attachment styles aren't fixed.
They evolve throughrelationships, healing and yep
therapy.
And the office shows us thattransformation in the most
awkward, cringey, beautiful ways.
(27:45):
Let's take a mini quiz what'syour attachment style?
Okay, real talk.
If you were dating Jim, michaelor Angela, what kind of partner
would you be?
Let's find out with thisrapid-fire reflection.
Answer yes or no to each of thefollowing.
(28:07):
Number one do you get anxiouswhen someone takes a while to
text back?
Number two Do you tend to pullaway or shut down when things
get too emotionally intense?
Number three Do you fear beingtoo much for others?
(28:27):
Number four Do you try to fixpeople you date?
Number five Is emotionalintimacy uncomfortable, even
with people you love.
Number six do you feel like youalways give more than you get
in relationships?
Number seven are you highlyindependent and sometimes proud
of not needing anyone?
(28:48):
Number eight do you findyourself second-guessing your
worth after conflict?
Now count your yes answers andmatch your results One and two.
If you answered one and twowith a yes, you might lean more
(29:08):
secure.
You're comfortable withcloseness but can also hold
boundaries A true Holly Flax inthe wild.
If you answered three and fourwith a yes, you could be rocking
an anxious attachment style.
You crave connection but mayfear abandonment.
Pam before Jim really saw her.
If you answered five and sixwith a yes, sounds a bit
(29:32):
avoidant.
You value independence but maystruggle to fully open up Gym
vibes with some emotionaldetachment sprinkled in.
If you answered seven and eightwith a yes, you might relate to
fearful, avoidant, disorganizedattachment.
Intimacy feels both appealingand terrifying.
You want love but feel unsafein it, like Andy on a downward
(29:56):
spiral.
Here's a reminder.
This isn't a diagnosis, it's amirror.
A nudge, a little moment.
Your attachment style isn't whoyou are, it's where you've been
.
And the good news Withawareness and support it can
(30:17):
evolve, because healing doesn'tmean becoming someone new.
It means coming back to who youwere before the world told you
love had to hurt.
Which office character are you?
Let's play a little game.
Okay, so you've been bingingthe Office for years, but have
(30:39):
you ever stopped mid-episode andthought oh no, I'm totally an
Angela.
Well, today we're leaning intherapist style.
This isn't just a personalityquiz.
It's a moment of reflection,because the character you
resonate with that's telling yousomething about your parts,
(31:00):
your patterns and maybe evenyour past.
So who are you?
If you're a Michael Scott,you're probably someone who's
terrified of abandonment.
You mask it with humor, chaosand trying way too hard to be
liked.
Your inner child is front andcenter and just wants to feel
important.
(31:20):
We see you, michael.
If you're a gym helper, youtend to keep things at a
distance, emotionally avoidant,sarcastic, but secretly
sensitive.
You might struggle to speak upuntil it's really important and
then, oh, you feel it deeplyLooking at you, teapot gift.
(31:42):
If you're a Pam Beasley, you'resoft, intuitive and emotionally
attuned to everyone exceptyourself.
You might stay small to avoidrocking the boat, but you're
braver than you think and whenyou finally choose yourself,
it's beautiful.
(32:04):
If you're a Dwight Schrute,boundaries are your love
language.
But good luck admitting it.
You're fiercely loyal,rule-driven and secretly tender.
You don't say I love you, youjust show up with a homemade
security system and a beatbouquet.
If you're an Angela Martin,structure is your safety net.
(32:27):
You control the outside becausethe inside feels scary.
But behind that judgment is adeep longing to be chosen for
who you are Quirks, cats and all.
If you're an Andy Bernard, youcrave validation.
You're performingpeople-pleasing and sometimes
(32:48):
losing yourself in the process,but underneath all that, a
deeply earnest human trying tofigure out who they are without
the applause.
If you're a Kelly Kapoor, youfeel everything all the time and
don't hide it.
You want love, attention, drama, connection more and honestly
(33:13):
you deserve more.
You just need someone who seespast the sparkle and into your
soul.
If you're a Ryan Howard, youprobably dissociate through
ambition.
You're scared of being ordinary, but the hustle is a mass Deep
down.
There's a part of you thatfeels unlovable unless you're
(33:33):
impressive.
Let's work on that.
If you're an Aaron Hannon, youlead with innocence and
eagerness to please, but you'veprobably been through some stuff
.
You're looking for safety,belonging and someone to say you
don't have to earn love anymoreand someone to say you don't
have to earn love anymore.
(33:55):
If you're a Toby Flenderson,you're emotionally cautious.
You don't want to bother anyone.
You carry quiet hurt.
But just because you don'tshout doesn't mean your needs
don't matter.
If you're a Stanley Hudson,you've mastered the art of
(34:28):
disengaging.
You've probably been burned bysystems before you're nurturing
with a dash of passiveaggression.
You keep the peace but carryunspoken resentment.
You want to be seen for morethan your softness, and you
absolutely should be.
If you're a Meredith Palmer,you cope through chaos.
(34:49):
Humor, detachment and wildbehavior are your shields.
But underneath that, yeah,you've been through it and your
survival is a story worthhonoring.
And finally, if you're a creedratten, I honestly don't know
(35:11):
how you got here, but I respectthe vibe.
What we learned about boundariesPam said no to Roy.
Daryl advocated for his worth.
Michael had none.
This show taught us what aboundary violation looks like
(35:34):
like Jan moving in with Michaelmid-breakdown.
Or what people-pleasing lookslike like Andy agreeing to
things he hates.
Or what growth looks like likePam going to art school.
Foundries aren't rejection,they're self-respect in action.
The masks we wear let's get real.
(35:55):
Everyone's performing.
Jim wears the cool guy mask,anything to avoid being
vulnerable.
Angela wears the judgment mask,keeps her power and hides her
fear.
Andy wears the clown mask.
Humor equals survival.
Kelly wears the clown mask.
Humor equals survival.
Kelly wears the drama mask.
(36:17):
Drama equals visibility.
Pam wears the quiet mask.
It keeps the peace but silencestruth.
We wear masks because welearned they kept us safe.
But real connection thatrequires taking them off.
Ask yourself what's your maskand what's it protecting?
(36:42):
Letters to their younger selves.
Jen's letter says you don'tneed a perfect moment to go
after what you love.
Pam's letter says it's okay toask for more.
You're allowed.
Dwight says power doesn'tprotect you, love does.
(37:02):
Angela's letter says you don'thave to earn worth by being
right.
And Michael's letter saysyou're already lovable just as
you are.
And to you, dear listener, youare not behind, you're not too
emotional, too late or too much.
(37:23):
You're just human Listener.
Reflection Prompt.
Think of your own personalDunder Mifflin, the environment
where you learned how tonavigate people.
What role did you play?
Were you the peacemaker, theoverachiever, the one no one
(37:43):
noticed?
Now ask yourself do I stillwear that identity today?
And if so, do I want to?
Tender moments that make us cry.
I had to highlight some ofthese because they're some of my
favorite moments of the entireshow, pam's art show.
(38:08):
Jim shows up.
She finally feels seen.
Michael's farewell that's whatshe said through tears.
Dwight's wedding Michael showsup full circle.
Kevin's chilly Chaos, but alsoheart.
(38:28):
And Jim's proposal at the gasstation Unexpected, intimate,
perfect.
These aren't just scenes.
They're stories of healing, ofbeing known, Of finally letting
someone see you.
So, whether you're the Angelaof your office, the Jim trying
(38:51):
not to feel things or theMichael just trying to be loved,
this episode was for you.
The office made us laugh.
Then it quietly taught us howto love, to leave and to grow.
If you've made it this far,thank you for being the kind of
person who finds meaning incharacters, laughter, in chaos
(39:12):
and depth in a show about papersales.
Until next time, this is Lena,your therapist, in your back
pocket, reminding you to takeoff the mask, reclaim your voice
and, for the love of all thatis holy, don't spill the chili.
Thank you.
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