May 14, 2025 • 56 mins
Where does your loyalty truly lie when you find out your friend’s spouse is cheating? This week on Life After I Do, we dive headfirst into the messy, emotional, and morally gray territory of infidelity, loyalty, and friendship. Spoiler: there are no easy answers.
💔 From what counts as "proof" to whether it's your place to speak up, we explore the layers of complication that come with knowing too much. As one host puts it, “Your mistake breaks us all up”—highlighting how cheating doesn’t just wreck a relationship, it often fractures entire friend groups.
💬 In This Episode:
• What we’d do if we found out a friend’s spouse was cheating
• How friendship dynamics affect whether you speak up or stay silent
• The emotional toll of being caught in the middle
• A married friend shows up with a side chick—what happens next? ("She can't come in my house!")
• Our 2 Cents:
— A controlling mother-in-law demands a prenup
— A partner lies for months about losing his job
This raw and unfiltered conversation will challenge how you define loyalty, test your views on confrontation, and make you rethink what kind of friend you’d be in these high-stakes situations.
🎧 Whether you’ve been betrayed, stayed silent, or spoken up and paid the price—this episode brings the tough questions and real answers.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If it's like my bestie we've all been friends
for so long it's like that's mystep husband, so like if you
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Excuse the fuck out of me.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
No, it's like if you doing some foul stuff to her,
you're technically doing it tome too, Because if things go
south.
Listen, if things go south, youbreak up.
You break us all up, Like yourmistake breaks us all up.
I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm still friends with both sides, but you're not.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be
cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm not picking sides .
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You're not going to be cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Look here.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
You picked a side Mine.
So, like I said, you do herwrong, you kind of did me wrong.
(01:06):
Now, look now, now none of usare happy.
Hey, everybody, and welcomeback to another episode of Life
After I Do.
I'm your host, nisha G.
You know the drill it's herhusband, my husband, her lover,
the love of my life life, thefather of my child.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Her homie.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Lover friend.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Are we not supposed to do that?
What that's R Kelly?
Oh, damn Damn Moly though.
Hey Moskis, hi babe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
What's wrong, mama?
What's wrong with you?
You sound like you're down.
Oh no, I think my iron low.
You sound like.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You sound like you're down.
Oh no, I think my iron low yousound like uh.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
You sound like uh, seleucus.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Isn't it?
Seleucus?
From Sesame Street Highbird.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Highbird?
Oh, it's Nefeleucus.
Whatever it is, I think.
I think he was high.
He wasn't high, maurice.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Look here, you can't go around just saying that he
was the resident drug addict.
No, he wasn't On Sesame Street.
Sesame Street was justimitations of real life people.
He was a drug addict.
The count was the pimp.
Why was the count?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
the pimp.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
One One.
He was counting.
He was down the hall, hurry up.
You had the gay couple.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie.
Stop it.
Stop.
They were not.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
See Snuffle up.
It was on the downers, cookieMonster was on the uppers.
I'm telling you, they had thewhole gang there and the only
person that was real was Oscarthe Grouch, because he saw what
it was like.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
He was the old man sitting in the window just
watching it all unfold.
Because I live in a fuckingtrash.
Can Oscar, why are you sogrouchy?
Because I live in a trash, canI mean, was that by choice?
Like, how did we end up here?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
He wanted to be isolated.
You saw how he lived in.
Just enough space for him.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
He lived in just no space for him.
A trash can is crazy.
Work though Oscar was, he wastired of people.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
A trash can is crazy work, and Big Bird was on uppers
too.
Yeah, Big Bird was on somethingbig, Whoa pause.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Pause.
How was your week, wooskies?
My week was good.
Oh, that's great.
I had a really good Mother'sDay.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I mean, you know, by the time they hear this, oh,
shout out to Happy Mother's DayTo all the good mothers out
there.
Your deadbeats don't deservenothing.
And you know who you are myhusband, anyway, I'm keeping it
real.
Just like there's deadbeats dad, there's deadbeat mothers, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Okay, speaking of deadbeat dads, um, I I can't
remember what she was, whatstate it was, but apparently I
think it was the sheriff orsomething.
I gotta get the story straight.
But he decided to put up adeadbeat dad wall oh, okay and
post all of the deadbeat dads onthe wall and I was like how are
(04:09):
you gonna, how are you gonnaknow, like what's, what's your,
your standard or guidelines?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
it was probably the guys that were behind on child
support oh, yeah, probablythat's, that's probably yeah
damn, damn cold work, so how wasyour week?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
My week was good.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You got excited about Debbie, debbie dead.
So I see no, you know what?
Here's Side note.
I agree with that creator.
That said that being being agood father Is so exhausting
that sometimes being a Debbie Isappealing.
Because, they just Shut up,they just seem like they got
life.
They just have the life.
They have the life.
They stress free.
(04:48):
They ain't worry about howthese kids getting nothing.
They ain't worry about howthese kids getting nowhere they
not worried about them eatingNothing.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All they worry about is the next thing Taking care of
themselves.
That's it.
It sounds so, which isperfectly fine.
It sounds so free.
You just need to not procreate.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It sounds so free.
I was just trying to have agood time.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay, but you didn't do it responsibly.
Therein lies the problem.
That's because my wife wasdrunk that night.
That's not a thing.
She was like Not a thing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
My wife said how you doing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
How you doing.
No, I mean, I had a really goodweek, I had a good Mother's Day
.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Were you out there, like normally in that wine,
cooler showing up.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
What?
No, not at all.
You weren't showing up.
No, not at all.
Okay, I really enjoyed myMother's Day gifts that was fun,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
My wife is.
We're going to have to get youa new nickname because
everything, everything, pink.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh yeah, cause my I wanted like new gym gear and
stuff, so the hubby came throughwith my new gym bag and clips
and sleeves and everything, sothat was pretty cool, thank you.
All pink everything, all pink,everything.
So now I can be that girl inthe gym.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink
shaker cups too.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink
shaker cups too.
Oh my gosh, that's notnecessary, but I appreciate it
Pinked out, I appreciate it.
All pink, everything.
But yeah, I hit 275 for tworeps on my squat.
Okay, that was really exciting.
I was really actually reallyexcited about that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Can I tell you what really happened what?
My wife was so excited abouthitting these 275 for two that
she hit me.
Oh my gosh, I barely tapped you, maurice, and when she hit me,
I had to.
I couldn't clutch my pearlsbecause I wasn't wearing them,
so I had to clutch my chest.
He clutched his pecs and I saidoh my god, did she just attack
(06:43):
me?
You are so the sheer, the sheerforce behind that attack.
I said this sound like I wouldhave been attacked.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I almost pressed charges okay, doubtful, but then
I said, if I, press chargesit's going to cancel out the
life insurance.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I don't have to pay nothing to it, so does that?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
is it really does that?
Is that a thing?
Yeah, so my week was good.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Is that a?
Thing?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
my week was good.
No, is that like?
A thing oh yeah, don't kill meno, I'm saying like if I was to
press charges against you, orlike a sold or something, no, no
, oh, I was gonna say I don'tthink that's crazy, but my week
was good.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Um, you know, it's always good when, uh, you
receive a blessing that youwasn't looking forward to.
Oh, you want to want to do itAll the time.
He may not come when you wanthim, but he's always, okay,
always.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
If it's one thing he has been, it's faithful, yeah.
If it's one thing he has doneit, upholds his promises.
I'm not going to preach tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Because sometimes I be wanting to preach.
But it was good.
I'm really happy, I'm reallyexcited.
I'm really excited for camp.
Man, I don't know why I'mexcited for camp, like I'm the
one going to camp camp, ohgymnastics camp.
Yeah, I don't know why I'mexcited.
Why are you excited for camp?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I think you're just excited for the road trip, like
we're just excited to have, likea few hours a day together, but
we're gonna be at the gyms Iknow, but we're gonna be at
different gyms right, because wehad never won the city yeah,
because we get to go todifferent gyms and we're gonna
take pictures and take notes ofwhat what our gym is lacking and
we're gonna go back right,they're still not gonna.
(08:12):
We're gonna go right back tomanagement say fix this um.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, but I had a good week.
We tried out new gyms on um onlast thursday, oh yeah we
finally tried out the gym thathe's been he all month.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I want to try it out.
I want to try it out.
Finally tried the gym outbefore we even went to the gym.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I thought this was my week.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, it is.
Before we even went to the gym,he was convinced that he was
going to be signing up, like hewas going to sign up before he
even worked out at the gym.
And what ended up happening,babe?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It wasn't my Jewish.
And what ended up happening,babe, it wasn't my judge.
Like I was really like, I wasreally happy and excited about,
like some of the equipment theyhad.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, me too.
They had nice equipment.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
But I was like the crowd wasn't my, it wasn't my
crowd, it wasn't your community.
Nah, it was too country clubfor me.
I like a little ratchet andthorn in mine.
You know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
You know what I mean?
Sure, I think I honestly.
Maybe I went at the wrong time.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I honestly also think that we've just been at our gym
like a long, like fairly not along long time, it's been a year
, yeah but we've developedcommunity in our gym and like
the people that go there, likeeven though you're not like
besties or anything with thepeople that go there, but they
know you and you know them.
And it's like now when you comein.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I didn't meet a new uh gym friend this this week who
was the guy you were talking toyesterday?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
jeremiah?
Yeah, is that his?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
name.
I said damn yeah.
I said yo mama love the bible.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Your name is jeremiah well, because when I saw you go
over there talk to, I was likeI wonder if he knows him from
work or something.
And what were you talking tohim about?
Because I was like we weretalking about shoes.
Okay, oh, that's when he wastalking about the hokas and
stuff.
Yeah, so I mean, yeah, I mean,but yeah, I think that's what.
It wasn't.
So.
The new gym, the vibe, theequipment was great.
(10:01):
The equipment was great.
I got humbled.
So you know me, I've been usingthe 60-pound dumbbells, been
feeling good, been feelingstrong.
They have metal dumbbells.
Yeah, buddy, I went to pickthem up and I said let me sit my
stupid ass down.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Right, I said I'm going to go ahead and do these
50s today.
Yeah, okay, let me pick upthese 50s.
I, uh, I.
I texted my trainer right away.
I said these little dumbbellswill humble you quick.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You think you strong which is crazy, because they it
can't possibly be that much itfelt.
But it's enough like it'senough, and I don't know if it
was just like your brain playingtricks with you or what well he
was telling me, maybe because Iwas kind of exhausted from the
pull-ups or because we were in anew, a new space too?
Nah, no, okay, I thought Itried to make an excuse, yeah
(10:55):
but I had, I had a good week allaround.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
You know, blessings on blessings blessings on
blessings.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I want to thank all the new followers and
subscribers.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Thanks guys.
We appreciate you guys andevery day, you guys are taking
me closer and closer to workingless and less, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Bye, Maurice.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I just want you all to know when we start hitting
these numbers here.
The content is only going toget better because I want to
spend more time on the contentthan I do at work.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's all I'm saying .
So he's trying to say thecontent is up to you, it's up to
you, bye.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
The quality is not how it works, by your powers
combined.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Ah, oh my gosh, can we please watch it before bed?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yes, ma'am Please.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
For those of you who didn't?
Catch the reference.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We can watch it, but it it got to be the Don Tito one
, no.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
No, For those of you who didn't catch the reference,
that's Captain Planet.
Do you remember the song?
Captain Planet, he's a hero.
Gonna take pollution down tozero.
Gonna help him put Okay that'senough.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That's enough.
This is copyrighted.
That's enough.
Heart the heart ring was awaste of time water earth wind.
It was the four elements, andthen they threw heart in there
because you have to have heartwith your powers combined.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
I am Captain Planet.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I'm not getting it done.
And the thing is, it's clearfrom the common results of our
generation that Captain Planetdidn't work.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
The DARE program didn't work.
What else Did AVIT work?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Smokey probably didn't work because of these
fires in California.
I don't think he worked either.
I don't think my generationlistened to none of that.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
We had PBS.
Nobody followed any of therules into life from PBS.
No what we?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
got today.
What we got today.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Damn, that's cold, cold, oh, no, wait.
Ok, I wanted to ask you did yousee the video?
It's a video that went viral ofthis, this guy I guess he's a
firefighter, but it's hisbirthday party, right?
And so he calls his wife up tothe stage at the birthday party.
(13:18):
He's like I know it's mybirthday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she hadbeen cheating on him and she had
been cheating on him and helike laid her out like he didn't
like knock her out, but he likeexposed her.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
you didn't see that part, oh well I knew what was
coming, so I just I was fightingwith her oh was it bad it was.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Oh, it was.
It was bad like apparently hehad video and everything she
started crying and everybody,because people didn't know if he
was joking at first, because hegave her like, he grabbed her
face, he gave her a big kiss.
He's like wow, like that.
And everybody was like, oh, ok,like you know.
And then he was like she waslaughing and he was like I can
know everything like that.
And then everybody was gigglingbecause they think you know,
(13:55):
it's like playful love, love,love, banter.
And then he just starts layingit in and he was like, yeah, I
had to sit there and watch hissmall pelt and all this other
stuff, and that's why you had totake all these plan B's.
And then everybody was like andthen the lady in the back goes
is this, is he for real, is thisreal?
And then everybody was like Idon't know if this is a joke, a
(14:15):
skit, Like.
And then they started to realizelike no, no, this is real.
Like she, it was real.
But, shout out to the personwho ever was recording, because
they got everything.
Whoever was recording stayedjust like.
This Still hand gave a littlebit of zoomerization.
I said whoever was recording.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Zoomerization is wild .
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Whoever was recording , I bet you they knew and he was
like get this, get this.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Because I'm going to perform, Get this.
So I was like I this, get thisBecause.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I'm going to perform, Get this.
So I was like I said oh my gosh, so OK, that kind of takes me
into like today, OK, oh I kindof want to know.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
OK.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
OK, it's kind of, but not.
Are you telling me something?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
No, this is a safe space.
Ok, let me blink.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
We listen and we judge slightly greatly.
Um, okay, so if you had afriend who you know, whose
spouse was committing adultery,okay, or cheating for for fact,
for like undeniable yeah, okay,would you, or would you not tell
your friend?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
how close am I to this friend?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
let's say, you guys have been friends five years
like first first, would you orwould you not like, is it within
your character?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
I think I would to tell or not.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I think I would okay, that's a different story yeah,
because I was.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I would Okay, that's a different story.
Yeah, because I was capping.
Yeah, because I was capping,but I think I would ask a
question first, okay, BecauseI'd be like, hey man, you got an
open relationship.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Okay, I don't think that's how you should go into it
.
Hey, hey man, y'all open.
Because then he might thinkyou're, I'd be like, hey man,
are y'all open?
Because then he might thinkyou're, I'd be like, hey man,
what's your thoughts on an open?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Then he might think that you're a swinger I'm not
and that you want to invite himand his no.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I would preference it with something like you know,
me and my wife was having adiscussion and you know we and I
would say that we both disagree.
But what's your thoughts?
Like you know, I wouldformulate like a conversation
and then, as I hear his thoughts, I'm like, oh, not determined
if I should tell him or not.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
OK, so like what type of proof do you think you would
need to feel comfortable?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I would need concrete proof.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
OK, what would be concrete, like I need to like
have seen them or like seen like.
Seen them do what, though?
Like what if they're out andabout, like holding hands and
going to lunch?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
but then it comes to find out that's her cousin look,
here I would need proof, okay,because I'm not going to drop a
bomb on a marriage orrelationship that could implode
it, because if I'm wrong, that'sgoing to greatly affect my
friendship right, and so that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Do you trust your judgment?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
yeah, I mean my initial judgment be like hey,
man, um, you might want to checkit out.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Wait what I want to check it out.
Hey man, you might want tocheck it out.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I might just find the other person.
It was like social media posts.
I might just start sending theposts.
Hey, you see that.
Sending your friend posts orthe spouse, the friend, see, see
this Boom.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But that's okay, but that I don't think that helped
them deduce themselves.
Ok, but if my friend suspectedyou of cheating and she just
started sending me videos andreels on Instagram?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I'm saying like if I had the evidence of like them
together on.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Oh, like you would.
You would snap a picture ofthem or something and then send
your friend that picture and belike oh, hey, I saw your wife
today, or the other person islike them in specific places and
stuff.
But that's crazy, though, Ifthey're cheating chances are?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
they probably won't be.
Some people don't.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, but let's say for the sake of discussion Look
here.
What type of concrete evidencewould be sufficient enough for
you to seriously go to yourfriend and sit down with him and
say hey, I think you know Idon't want to overstep my
boundaries.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I would need to see some type of intimate contact.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Okay, so what is that ?
Like a kiss on the lips or acheek, because we know how you
feel about kissing with tongueand no tongue.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
A kiss period.
You don't consider tongue.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
A kiss period, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Hand holding a grabbing of the ass.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What hand-holding, grabbing at the ass?
What if she plays sports andthat's like her teammate?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Okay, this is where your daughter gets it from, just
kidding.
This is why she always has abackpack full of spare body
parts, so that she can alwaysfeel like she's ahead.
Side note you cannot play.
I Stole your Nose with mydaughter because she has a
thousand noses in hermake-believe backpack.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's the recourse Every time he's like oh, I stole
your nose.
She was like, I got another oneBecause when she was little she
used to literally like cry,like give my nose back, she's
like daddy won't give me my noseback.
I'm like girl, the nose is onyour face.
I was like just pretend likeyou got another one, that he can
never take them from you.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
So you're the problem , but I would need something as
close to concrete as possible.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Okay, what about you?
Yes, I would need somethingconcrete.
I would probably investigate,myself, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Probably.
You would I know, becausehere's the thing, the thing for
me I feel like I would be everytime she says here's the thing,
it's gonna be some bs, go ahead,here's the thing, go, go ahead
and give it to us, shut up, goahead and give it to us, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
so it kind of goes back to what you said in the
beginning, like how, how longhave you known this friend?
Like, if it was my best friend,shout out to Jazzy, jazzy, I
love you.
If I had.
Oh, she deserves it.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Goodbye, hold on, hold on.
I'm just playing Jazzy, don'tcome for me.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
If I had suspected my best friend's husband doing
something?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
inappropriate.
Don't talk about my boy likethat.
He wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I know, but I'm saying for the sake of the
conversation.
This is the person that I'mclose to right, so this is 20
plus years in the game.
I'm coming to her, even if Isuspect.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Because it's 20 plus years.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yes, even if it ain't nothing, even if it didn't sit
well with my spirit, I'm goingto just let you know, because
she knows because, only becausewe have a relationship to, where
she knows that she's just notgoing to take what I say at face
value, like that's.
That's the person she's beenmarried to more than half her
life, so she's also going to doher own digging, you know but
(20:42):
she knows that I'm not trying tostart mess.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But that's why I told you the level of friendship and
the length of friendship alsomatters, Because there's that
conversation Like if it'ssomeone you've known a couple of
years.
That's a different conversation.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
If I've known them a couple of years, I'm not going
to go to the extent of like,maybe having concrete evidence,
I'm going to just be like, look,if it was me and I saw my man
do some shit like that, I'mgoing to just let you know I
wouldn't be comfortable with it,but I don't know what your
relationship is like.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Oh my God, I miss LaJules.
I just thought about her.
You told her she liked him.
Do you think I care what thisman does?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
No, I don't care, I don't even know where he is half
the time.
I miss her.
I miss her too, but I miss her.
I miss her too.
Um, but yeah, so like if it'sit's like if it's like my bestie
we've all been friends for solong it's like that's my step
husband.
So like if you excuse me,excuse the fuck out of me no,
(21:43):
it's like if you doing some foulstuff to her, you're
technically doing it to me too.
Because if, if, things go south.
listen, if things go south, youbreak us all up, Like your
mistake breaks us all up.
I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I'm still friends with both sides.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be
cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm not picking sides , you're not going to be cool
with them anymore.
Look here.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You picked a side, mine.
So, like I said, you do herwrong, you kind of did me wrong.
Now, look now, now none of usare happy.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
See, I have to be the mediator for the kids because
I'm their black dad so she'slike your step wife no, no, no,
no, she was my surrogate bye,but anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So I I feel like if it was a very like valued,
long-term friendship, like mybestie, I personally would do,
digging myself like I would takethe extra mile right to make
sure that what I'm seeing, orwhat I believe to be seeing, is
what was what's actuallyhappening, and then I would to
be honest with you, to to be 100with you, I might be that
(22:49):
friend that confronts him First,first.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Like you better tell her.
If you don't tell her, I'mgoing to tell her.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Well, no, not even like to back him into a corner.
I wish one of your friends would, but just to be like hey, like
you know what you're doing iswrong and that's my best friend,
so you can either square itaway with her right now or like,
like you got till Friday, 5 PM.
I don't know what you want meto do.
All I can give you is tillFriday.
It's Thursday at three, so Ican only give you till Friday to
(23:16):
five.
I'm gonna let you go to work,let it marinate on your mind a
little bit.
When you get off work, I'mgoing to be on your couch, like
I just came to visit and I'mgonna be waiting for you to be
like hey, you know, can you giveus a minute or go home so I can
talk to my wife.
And I'll be like yeah, I thinkthat's the deadline is dialogue
give you till five on Friday.
(23:38):
What are you, the transporter,just saying?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
but if it's somebody like, you know you don't fucked
up right if I've known you ayear, I'm sorry, calling you an
equalizer bye.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
if I've known you a year and I'm going to start
calling you an equalizer Bye.
If I've known you a year and Isuspect, or if I perceive, that
your spouse has been committingadultery, I'm probably going to
say something.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But the thing when I think about this more for me is
like I literally would have tosee it, because I am so hands
off when it comes to otherpeople's, like marriage and
relationship, like I don't knownothing unless you tell me or
you stumble across it right,like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm not looking for it, right?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
so if I, if I was to come across something, I'd be
like I I would probably missmissing it, depending on the
length of friendship and likehow well we know each other.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I would mention something right okay, so let me,
let me flip it on you, kind oflike what we were talking about
last week, what we're talkingabout last week if okay so if
your friend who you know ismarried.
Like, let's say, we had to gettogether at our house right,
okay, so we know all of ourfriends are married, right?
If your friend showed up to ourhouse with another woman who
(24:42):
was not, that's not cool withnot who was not his wife.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
That's not cool.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
In a capacity of like this is my plus one.
What does that conversationlook like From you to your
friend?
Like what would you say?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
I'm gonna step inside .
Who this bitch?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Hoppo who this woman?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And I'm like, hey man , look here you know, she can't
come in my house.
I personally don't care thatshe's here, because I don't know
what your situation is here andI'm not going to assume
anything.
But the woman ain't cool withthis.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So you're making sense.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So since she's making them uncomfortable, she can't
be here.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
If y'all have not made that, if y'all haven't made
that announcement, that's what.
I'm saying To everybody, like ifI'm not aware that y'all are
separated, going through adivorce, like whatever the case
is, you can't bring that womanin my house.
I'm sorry, my loyalties stilllie with your wife.
That's going to be a hard no.
She's out to sell on the porch.
(25:41):
She cannot come to the cookout.
She better not set foot in mybackyard.
That's all I'm saying.
But what if she broughtoxtailsails?
She can drop off the oxtails.
First I'll manipulate her intodropping off the oxtails and
then I'd politely escort herback through the front door oh
no, she got oxtails.
I'm gonna let her in well, Imean honestly, I probably let
her keep her oxtails, becauseshe a damn stranger, I don't
know where she came from.
You can't eat everybody'scooking you're right I don't
(26:04):
know where this woman came from.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
There's certain cooking you take a risk for.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
No it's not.
It's not, yeah, but no,definitely she wouldn't be in my
house.
Ok, but so the next part ofthat is After speaking to your
friend.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
OK.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
OK, and let's just say he tells you, you know, we
just going, we going through arough patch.
This is just my little friendlike her and I hang out every
now and then.
Do you can't be here, ok, she?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
can't be here.
I'm going to tell you.
I'm going to tell him the same.
I'm going to tell him the samething I told my brother Stop
bringing these women to my houseIf you're not serious.
I'm tired of meeting Kate andEdith Bye Too Right.
Meeting kate and edith bye tooright.
(26:54):
Only in the, in the in and tothat point when I said that to
him.
The next woman I met was hiswife.
Yeah, I said, bro, I'm nottrying to be invested in all
these women and you dropped themlike flies like.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I mean in a technical sense, he wasn't dropping them,
he.
He laid out the, the, the deal,and you know it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But it's just like what I'm not going to do and
what I'm not, what I have nointentions of, because here's my
thing.
I would say I am friends withyou, okay Right, so I don't want
to cultivate any type ofrelationship or friendship with
anyone that's not going to bepermanently attached to you, or
at least attached to you for aperiod of time.
(27:30):
And when I say extend, I'mtalking about five years plus.
Oh gosh, Like she's going to bein some cookout pictures type
extended.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Like when we go back to the family photo album we'll
be like, oh my gosh, that's fromwhen y'all was dating, right,
you remember her?
Oh, I remember her, I rememberher.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So if it's not, that don't, don't, don't be bringing
her around here I don't, that'sthat's, that's just me yeah,
okay, but okay, here that wassaying my thing is because this,
also this because don't bringher around.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I think she cool and I hope y'all work it out.
You drop her, yeah.
And now here I am friends withsomebody I do not even with no
more on instagram and now I lookweird right crazy work, ain't
that your ex-brother followingyou?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
bye, bye, um, okay, but the other part of that is
okay.
He tells you that's just hisfriend, right, that they hang
out sometimes because you knowhim and his wife right they
can't hang out here, but thenext time we see them he's with
his wife.
Now you know that he has not mybusiness.
(28:28):
It's not my business.
Okay so he's your friend andhis and his spouse is cheating.
It's your business to tell himhis spouse is cheating.
But since he's your friend andhe's the one that's cheating.
You feel no obligation to hisspouse to let his spouse know
that he's cheating.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Let me be for.
Let me be clear on this myloyalty lies with my friend.
I think that's crazy.
If I have not cultivated afriendship with both of you, my
loyalty does not lie with bothof you.
There are many couple friendsthat we have where my loyalty is
with the husband.
(29:06):
So the wife can just kick rocksif he's screwing somebody else,
I'm not saying kick rocksbecause I'm not going to tell
her, but the person I am, I'mgoing to have a conversation
with him and say, hey, what'syour behavior right now?
Don't align with my morals andbeliefs.
So I can't be around you ifthis is what you're partaking in
?
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, because that's not the type of man I hang with.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
That conversation will be had.
Yeah, Because the last thingyou're going to do is think that
you're going to do some dirtand then try to influence me to
do some dirt Because I'm happyover here.
Player.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, not only that.
They say you are who you hangaround, Just like they say you
are what you eat.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
But then your curls will be stronger because you
hang around me.
That's true, wow.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
My curls would be stronger yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Curls for girls.
Yeah, but so like Says theperson who keeps my 225.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
What were you saying?
I can't, you cannot.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I'm going to do it on Wednesday just because you're
there, like I said, I will havethat conversation with him.
Like, hey, I don't want no messhere, because I know that, even
though I may not say nothing,my wife gonna tell her something
, and that's another thing.
I know this certain situationsI ain't gotta say nothing
because it's gonna be said bysomebody else.
(30:15):
And when he looked at me I'mlike, hey, man, you know what
you did.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
If, if, if everything wasn't on the.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
You just gonna assume I'm gonna tell a wife because
you are because every time weget together and we, it never
happened, never it fails.
It happens every single time.
What there comes a point in theday where we all split, where
we're all split, women are inhere we start together and then,
for some reason, the men end upoutside.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
All the women end up inside and then the kids are
going the kids just doingwhatever the hell it is they do
they just they, whatever.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And when the women start talking, they start some
wives start devoting too muchshit that they have to know
that's gonna get back to us.
Because what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
because y'all tell us we don't divulge anything okay
we don't divulge anything, goahead and lie do you think your
friendship like if it's, do youthink your friendships could
survive you telling them thattheir spouse is cheating?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
If it doesn't, you wasn't my friend to start with
when I'm trying to be honestwith you.
You wasn't, because what if?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
they're upset with you Because that happens.
Okay, then you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Because here's my thing, I've set a standard.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Okay, then you shouldn't, because here's my
thing, I've set a standard no,I'm talking about like if, if
your friend, his wife, wascheating, but he got mad at you
for telling him oh it's okay, myconscience is clear.
I mean, your conscience couldstill be clear with you ignoring
what you saw just because, justbecause ignorance is bliss,
don't mean it's okay be ignorantthat's true, that's true.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
That's true.
It's funny you say that whenyou're ignorant about a lot of
things, A lot of importantthings Like what?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Maurice Like, who our mortgage holder is I know who
our mortgage holder is.
How?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
to pay the bills.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I know how to pay the bills.
No, you don't, man, I know howto pay the bills.
It's fine, you're well takencare of.
I.
I know how to pay the bills.
You pay the people that themoney's owed to boom.
Okay, it's pretty damnself-explanatory.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
You just whoever the people are, you, bam, that's it
and also, I don't believe I haveany friends that would be upset
for me telling them if, if, ifI wasn't assuming and if I
actually had concrete evidence,I told him it was true.
I don't think I have anyfriends that would be upset when
we tell them do you think that?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
okay, so would you want your friends to tell you?
I would know, I would know.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
It's funny that you think you're that bright um,
this has been another episodeand most likely the last episode
.
It just came out.
I love you.
Other life, as I do podcasts we, we, we made it 86 episodes and
(33:00):
I think this is gonna or maybe87 or 88, something like that,
and this will be the last one,clearly.
My wife has told me.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
It's because my iron low.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
You think you would be able to tell, yes, yeah, I
have a whole separate family.
I've hid from you for a decade.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That I would know, strictly based on how you mother
, why I wouldn't have time forthe other family.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
No, you wouldn't have time.
There's nothing left in thetank because let me tell you, I
ain't got nothing left in thetank today.
I ain't got nothing left.
That's like I tell you, I ain'tgot time to cheat.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I just I ain't got time to entertain it's too much.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's a lot of energy, like, even just like when
people flirting with you youdon't even know they flirting
with you.
You be like you do, apparently,when I'm told.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
No, I said you know when they flirt with me.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Oh yeah, that's because you know it's not the
brightest bunches out thereanymore.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Okay, it's not the brightest bunches out there
anymore.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Okay, it's not the brightest bunches, they just be
too desperate nowadays, you knowbut anywho, um yeah, so you
think you'd be able to tell.
I think I would be able to tell, tell what about cheating?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
no, you wouldn't, I've been cheating for 23 years.
You've been what cheating for23 years with who.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Jackie really my alter ego.
You're so, my alter ego, you'reso dumb, my alter ego.
I don't got to cheat.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I married three women .
Speaker 1 (34:35):
You got Jackie, me, Patricia.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Vacation base with my baby.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Vacation base yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
She's cool.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Haven't seen her in a minute though, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I'm not going to see her in July either, because it
ain't really vacation.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It's not.
I mean, we can take her to anovernight daycare.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
No, I love my child too much for that.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So you're.
So any who back to the topic athand.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You cheating, oh you, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
That's the topic again.
Me cheating?
Yeah, I don.
No, I don't at games shefinally admitted and then I
don't.
And you know I never say cheat,I strategize at games, it's,
it's, I strategize the biggestcheater I don't cheat, babe,
it's called strategy get back tothe topic, babe.
It's called strategy.
Get back to the topic at hand.
It's called strategy.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Get back to the topic at hand.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Okay, Anywho.
So would you be really so?
You're willing to risk yourfriendship?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
I'm willing to risk anything for what's right,
because, at the end of the day,I'd rather have a clear
conscience and know that mymorals are intact than to be the
opposite of that.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
What if your friend becomes like combative and they
think that?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
you know, like oh you think you're better than me.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You think you know.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I have firearms.
Oddly enough, it happens.
My thing is is that they'regoing to anger is an emotion and
that's what they're feeling inthe moment, and I will let them
get it off their chest and I'llsay well, you're welcome to
leave and have a good life.
I doubt it would be that smooth.
I'm at my age, I don't fightanymore.
(36:19):
Not him saying at my age, jesus, I don't fight anymore at my
age.
It's so like, if you want to,if you get physical with me, I'm
shooting you.
What I'm shooting?
I'm defending myself, I'mshooting.
And I say this all the time sothey know I'm going to shoot you
, I'm not fighting, I don't Ithink, that's a little
(36:41):
aggressive, though.
no, is it?
Yeah, it was aggressive thatyou thought you could try me.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
I mean whatever happened to like knock if you
bug yeah yeah, they bucked and Ipulled the trigger bye stupid.
They knocked and I pulled thetrigger because your life was
immediately threatened.
Immediately threatened, youfelt.
You felt I can't debil.
Well, it's nice to know thatyou would be an honest friend.
(37:07):
I, I'm going to tell you thetruth.
Yeah, were you like it or not?
Yeah, I would be an honestfriend, the only person I would
lie to is you Well keep lying tome.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
And I mean I don't lie.
Let me clear that out.
I lied to you about certainthings because I don't want to
like hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I can understand that .
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I've been doing that for 23 years.
See, I knew that was coming.
It's fine.
I know, as I've said many timeson here, my wife doesn't stroke
my ego, so I know she don't lieto me.
Just tell me, babe, how doesthis look?
Bad?
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I've never said you look bad.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I said how this look?
I didn't say me oh, you knowyou never.
You don't tell me I look bad.
You be like, I mean there'sroom for improvement.
That's you saying it's bad.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I don't say it like that, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
You give me different versions of oh, bless your
heart.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
If it doesn't look good, I let you know.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Like it could be better.
Yeah, different versions ofbless your heart.
What do you want me to do?
I don't mind sometimes I do lie, like when you were showing me
pictures okay alright this hasreally been the last episode.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
The iron's low.
Yeah, go ahead and try to blamethem on your made-up condition.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
I'm not my usual self .
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I hope every steak you eat in the next three weeks
tastes like dog shit.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Wow, that's harsh.
That's harsh Because I havelike three steaks planned for
the week, so that's kind ofharsh.
Damn, damn.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Play Damn, played yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Damn, you played yourself.
Look at you, look at you Playedyourself.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
You know what?
I'm out here with my BruceLeroy glow.
You're not going to take myglow.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
I'm not.
I think you are fabulous.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Okay, don't lie for the people.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Gone with the wind.
Are you done?
Gone, are you done?
I think you are gone.
Gone the wind.
Gone with the wind.
Fabulous.
It's been a long day for me,guys.
I'm sorry.
It's been a long day for me.
I've been up since like seven.
(39:30):
Wow, really Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I know.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Oh my gosh, okay, let's go ahead and hop right on
into our deuces Gotcha bitch themail.
Cut it out, let's do this Ican't with you.
Am I the asshole for telling myfiance that I don't want his
mom in our wedding photosbecause she's been trying to get
(39:55):
me to sign a prenup that shewrote up?
Speaker 2 (39:59):
OK, let's go.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
I'm 27 and getting married next summer.
My fiance is 29 and we've beentogether for almost five years.
His mom has never liked me.
She's very involved in his lifeand I've always felt like she
sees me as some kind of threatto their bond.
For the past year she's beenbringing up prenups consistently
not my fiance, his mom.
She started sending me articles, books, even a sample prenup
(40:22):
that she wrote up herself likeliterally a Google doc.
It had stuff in it like that.
I waive all my rights to futureearnings and if I gained weight
after the wedding I would agreeto go to counseling.
I'm not joking.
I told her it was inappropriateand that I wouldn't be
discussing legal documents withher.
My fiance backed me up at firstbut over time I noticed he
started saying things like she'sjust trying to protect me or
(40:45):
you know how she gets.
He never directly told her tostop.
Things hit a breaking point afew weeks ago when she brought
up the same prenup again at afamily dinner in front of her
relatives.
She said that I was beingdifficult and that a woman who
refuses to protect a man'sassets has no business getting
married.
I was humiliated.
(41:06):
I left the table and we had ahuge fight afterwards.
I told my fiance that I don'twant her in our wedding photos.
I said that she can come to theceremony and be there if she
wants, but that I don't want herposing in our couple shots or
our family portraits.
I feel like she's made it clearshe doesn't actually want this
marriage to happen and I don'twant to look back at my wedding
(41:28):
album and feel fake smiles withsomeone who's made the process
so miserable.
Now his whole family is furious.
He says that I'm escalatingthings and being too harsh.
I told him I'm just setting aboundary after being
disrespected over and over.
My mom understands where I'mcoming from, but I think, but
thinks that I should let it goto keep the peace.
(41:49):
I feel like if I back downagain, she'll just keep walking
all over me.
So am I the asshole for tellingmy fiance that I don't want his
mom in our wedding photos aftershe's put me through all of
this?
No, I don't think so either.
This is what I think is crazy.
I think it's crazy that Prince.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Bishop, I think it's crazy that even before we get
married that we're having issueswith your mom and that you are
already setting that might be asign of a great marriage.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Listen that you you're setting a precedent that
your mom, you're not going tostand up to her, you're not
going to defend me and you'renot going to take into
consideration when I tell youthat I'm feeling disrespected or
uncomfortable and that's goingto be the remainder of our
marriage, right?
Because now what it does alsois it reinforces to your mother
(42:40):
that she can pretty much do whatshe wants.
She has say so in ourrelationship, she has say so in
our marriage.
She still has a form of controlover you and is masking it as
oh, this is our bond.
He's not your man Like I don'tknow, I don't know how to, maybe
because I'm not a boy mom, LikeI get it.
(43:01):
I'm not a boy mom.
He's not your man Like I get it.
You had a bond.
You guys are strong.
You're his mom.
You will forever be his mother.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Is it wrong, but he ain't't your man is it wrong
that it's giving me eithersingle mother or only child
vibes?
It could be like one or theother it could be.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
and I and I here's the thing I can totally
empathize with the um.
Empathetic no, it's rare, butshe admits it, I'm kidding um, I
can empathize with the wholeidea of you know, being close to
your, your, your son, and youguys, let's just say, if she was
(43:40):
a single, a single mom, andit's like you guys, you know,
growing up together, you guyshave this bond.
It's always been you and him,for now, there to be another
woman in his life who is goingto have his attention, who's
going to have you know, him,basically, and a part of you
feeling like what you're notabout to do is come in here and
(44:00):
just take him away from me.
I can, I can empathize withthat.
Right, I can empathize withthat because I think the
difference in that and like girlmoms is like the daughter is my
baby.
So, yes, I'll be giving her oryou'll be giving her away one
day to a man.
But when it comes to, but whenit comes to I, I would think
(44:21):
like the bond, or them comingover, things like that, it's
like mom is probably gonna be,I'm gonna be, leasing.
You'll be leasing her by Maurice.
She's Bye, maurice, she's not acar, but she can always come
back here.
Well, okay, that's fair, but Ijust say that to say only
because you know, I have afriend who's going through that
right now and her son just gotmarried and, like she said, it
(44:42):
was her and her son for so longRight, and now he's clinging to
his wife, which you know is whathe's been raised to do.
But that doesn't mean, you justleave mom behind.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
That's the.
That's the natural order ofthings yes.
Once you go off and get married, it is typical that now all the
time it's going to be spentwith the wife, the wife's family
.
The kids are going to know thewife's side of the family.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
That's just.
He's prioritizing his wife.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That's just typical.
I don't think she's an asshole.
I think that the fiancé needsto understand that you're
starting a covenant in a familywith your wife and that's going
to be outside of your mother.
Your mother does not need to beinside of your marital business
.
You'll never have a good, solidmarriage if you constantly let
(45:32):
your mother half her wayintercede and give her input.
Me personally, if this was mymother, I would just lie to her
and tell her that we alreadyhave one, just so she'd shut up
but you shouldn't have to dothat.
You're a grown ass man sometimeslet's hear, sometimes it's okay
to lie to keep the peace.
(45:52):
But you shouldn't have to dothat.
You're a grown ass man.
Sometimes let's hear, sometimesit's okay to lie To keep the
peace, because I clearly loveyou, because I asked you to
marry me, I love my motherbecause that's my mother, of
course.
So I'm going to lie to one ofy'all, and I'd rather lie to her
.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
So we don't start off on a bad foot.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Because she's going to be more forgiving.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Yeah, but she's going to be really upset if anything
goes south.
And you told her all theseyears you had a prenup and then
your wife ended up taking 75%.
She's going to be real upsetwith you.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Let's flip the prenup , right, okay, everything she
wants you to agree to flip it onhim too, right.
So you got to maintain acertain weight.
He got to maintain a certainbody fat percentage, right,
right.
Since you want this to betransactional completely, yeah,
let's make it right.
Yeah, ok, let's say you don'tleave with you, you're not
(46:41):
entitled to half of of whateverof his finances Right, but for
every year you're in, you getfive percent or 10 percent or
something, yeah so.
And at the 10th year, and youget 10% just for staying with
her, staying with him, and anextra 5% for every child you
give him.
I mean, make it so.
(47:02):
When he really think about it,he gonna walk away with 10% of
what he had and then just makethat deal and then just keep
giving him.
Kids push out like six babies.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
No, he wouldn't go for that.
I can't.
But yeah, I don't think you're,I don't think you're an asshole
, if that's the boundary shewants to say you can say when
it's your wedding day, so Iwouldn't want that fake half of
my and he can take.
He can take pictures with hismom, that's fine.
Yeah, by yourself over therewhich I'm on.
Um, let me see.
Am I wrong for wanting to leaveafter finding out the truth of
(47:34):
when my boyfriend was fired?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
So two nights ago I did a thing where I went through
my boyfriend's phone.
I know completely wrong.
Now back, uh no, backstory.
My boyfriend of two and a halfyears told me he lost his job a
month and a week ago.
I didn't find out until the dayour landlord texted us that we
were late on our rent, which wassurprising, as my boyfriend
told me that he paid for italready.
(47:59):
As I read the text, Iimmediately got a call from my
boyfriend saying it was an error.
An hour later he came home totell me that it was a lie and
that he was fired and couldn'tpay our rent.
Now backstory about us.
My boyfriend makes three timeswhat I make in a year thanks to
my current position.
Before it was five times what Imade.
(48:20):
So when I got the news, I was amess.
However, I had enough saved upto pay our rent.
The following month was superheavy on me, but my boyfriend
landed a new job four weeksafter everything happened.
Now I've been unsettled, asthis isn't the first time he's
lied to me about our finances.
A year ago, his car was repoedin the middle of the night,
(48:40):
which shocked me About twonights ago when I went through
his phone intuition, or whateveryou wanna call it and I read
through messages with friendsand coworkers about how the
firing happened in January it'scurrently May, which completely
shocked me, as he lied to meabout when everything happened.
Now I'm second guessingeverything.
(49:01):
What do I do?
How do I forgive this Help?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
She mind your motherfucking business.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
Not when it comes to money.
Why are you?
Speaker 2 (49:11):
going through his phone.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Not when it comes Apparently, because he lie.
That's why he lie.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
He's lying about things money related, which I
don't, which is huge, can I talk, go ahead, which I cannot
condone.
But what?
I will say this Sometimes, as aman, the weight the financial
weight of a relationship getsheavy and when things are not
going your way, it's hard to behonest and upfront because it's
(49:41):
almost like embracing the partof failure that you perceive
yourself to be in.
And you're coming face to facewith that when you're telling
your wife or your significantother that about what's what's,
what's happening.
So, and I believe that I don'tbelieve that he, he lied to you
just because he won the law.
He lied to you out of guilt.
(50:01):
He lied to you out of um, thisis just my belief.
He lied to you out of theunderstanding, and maybe even
possible to hope, that he wouldprobably get a job faster, fast
enough to where it reallywouldn't affect you.
And it's also a thing that youknow some men like to do where
they don't like to reallyinvolve their partner in the
(50:25):
finances as much, because theydon't want them to work.
Because you know, we all know,women have a tendency to
over-dramaticize.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
There's no over-dramaticize when it comes
to money and how we're going tohave a tendency to over dramatic
size.
Uh, there's no over dramaticsize when it comes to money and
how we gonna have a roof over.
Am I talking, you talking,we're talking.
Well, I'm done, then, sir we'retalking.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
I mean it could it could be.
It could be that he felt guilty, it could be that he didn't
want you to, he didn't want youto stress, don't want you to
worry.
I mean, and it's just, it couldjust be that he wasn't mature
enough to handle the emotionswith himself, and definitely not
mature enough in a place toconvey the situation and his
feelings to you without feelingattacked or hurt or less than.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Or like a failure.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
That is my answer.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
But you already asked what we're going through this
morning.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Now go ahead and say I'm not gonna say the opposite
of what you say.
I agree with everything thatyou said.
Yeah, I do, I agree witheverything that you said.
However, here we go.
If I can see where you'recoming from, see, I can see
where you're coming from, hereit is.
See, I can see where you'recoming from.
Every time she says I can seehere come the bullshit.
I can see where you're comingfrom, where he was like maybe he
could get the other job in timeto cover whatever, so that she
(51:40):
doesn't have to feel the bluntof it, right, All this hand
stuff.
This is the problem that comesin.
The problem comes in is when,by you holding on to all that
information and you keeping mein the dark and making me feel
like everything's taken care of,our rent is taken, because what
happened if she didn't havemoney saved up to pay their rent
?
And he's like OK, this is goingto come through and I'm going
(52:01):
to get it taken care of and Idon't want you to worry about it
and the rent is paid.
And he's telling her the rentis paid, the bills are paid,
everything's good, you don'thave anything to worry about.
What happens if she didn't haveanything?
Speaker 2 (52:10):
saved up.
Look here as someone who hasbeen on unemployment or not on
employment disability.
He was waiting on that check tohit.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
You don't know what he was waiting on.
Stop it.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
It was one.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
Listen, anyway, it was one.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
It was one of the months where the check hit after
the rent was due.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
No, I say all that to say I agree with what you're
saying and I can see from thatperspective, but again, we are
still in a partnership and yourdecisions if it's decisions that
can directly affect my life too, that's something that you need
to bring up.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Right, so if he couldn't, pay the rent.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
If he couldn't pay the rent, he could have just
been like you know, look, thisis what I have, this is what I
have planned.
Unfortunately, I lost my joblast Friday.
Okay, that's already going tobe a shocker.
He's already processing thefact that he lost his job.
So there is that.
So he's already under animmense amount of stress,
especially if rent is hisresponsibility.
He's already under an immenseamount of stress.
(53:02):
But if he would have just likebuckled up and just been like,
hey, like I lost my job, this ishow much I've got right now to
like get us through.
This is my plan.
I'm going to pay the rent, I'mgoing to do this and then after
that, in between time, I mayneed some help to hold me over
until I can get the next job.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
You probably thought he couldn't help her if he was
making five times what she wasmaking well, we don't know how
much.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
Five times was he?
Speaker 2 (53:27):
was subsidizing her.
Well, we don't know how much,we don't know she could have
been making.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
She could have been making 13 an hour it don't
matter what she's making.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
He making five times more, so who is she to subsidize
?
She's subsidizing her lifestyle.
Don't go through his phone,don't upset yourself.
You're not on his level you'redone you?
Are you out here living under asection 8 voucher?
Speaker 1 (53:52):
now you're just adding things to the story.
Now you're just adding things.
I think we're both tired.
I think it's time to go to bed.
I'm just starting.
I was like you, you're sleepy,my iron's low.
I think it's.
I think it's time.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
Um, I think did she ask what she asked over going
through the phone.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Was that the question ?
No, like she was, because shewanted to break up with him
because he lied.
Okay, break up with him.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
Go find.
Make sure you find somebodyelse to settle down, Because on
the premise is that he has liedtwice.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
Where's she going to go?
Where's she going to go?
Well, she got money in the bank.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
That's going to run out quick.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
Oh my gosh, you don't know.
Why are you making up things inthe story?
Speaker 2 (54:33):
It's clear that she don't make enough to sustain the
lifestyle she used to.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
She makes enough that she's been paying the damn rent
.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
On her savings and she only be.
She was only.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
And every time she works she put more money back
into the savings.
She replenishes it, and she wasonly able to do that because
five times?
Yeah, but he was making fivetimes and didn't have a savings.
Oh, are you sure about that?
Yeah, because he didn't pay thedamn rent.
Had he had savings, he probablycould have covered the rent to
hold him over until he got thenext job.
Speaker 2 (55:03):
He only had three months saved and he was on month
five already.
Okay, give him a break.
Okay, he's doing it.
He's doing the best he can,savannah his best ain't good
enough.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Not for you, savannah , no we just talking shit.
Because that would have to justListen.
I don't want to crush your ego.
Whose ego?
But his I'd be like.
I don't want to crush your ego.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
But my thing, I just feel like this.
I feel like if you feel likeyou can't trust him, leave.
I feel like, if you feel likeyou, can't trust him.
Leave Because if the trust isnot there, you're always going
to question everything, you'renot going to be happy and you're
going to find other things andother reasons You're going to
question everything, to eithersnoop or have doubt.
So if that's how you reallyfeel, get out of Dodge, yep.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
This has been another episode of the Life After Do
podcast.
We appreciate you guys forsticking out with us and I know
my wife is boring sometimes.
We appreciate all the newfollowers on TikTok she's
struggling.
Tiktok Instagram.
All the subscribers on YouTubewe appreciate all the-.
Onlypans.
(56:09):
All the engagement.
You get a new episode everyWednesday, every Wednesday, and
you can write in to us atlifeafterdopodcastgmailcom.
And until next time, peacebooskies, peace booskies.
If it's like my bestie we've all been friends
for so long it's like that's mystep husband, so like if you
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Excuse the fuck out of me.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
No, it's like if you doing some foul stuff to her,
you're technically doing it tome too, Because if things go
south.
Listen, if things go south, youbreak up.
You break us all up, Like yourmistake breaks us all up.
I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm still friends with both sides, but you're not.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be
cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm not picking sides .
Speaker 1 (00:33):
You're not going to be cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Look here.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
You picked a side Mine.
So, like I said, you do herwrong, you kind of did me wrong.
(01:06):
Now, look now, now none of usare happy.
Hey, everybody, and welcomeback to another episode of Life
After I Do.
I'm your host, nisha G.
You know the drill it's herhusband, my husband, her lover,
the love of my life life, thefather of my child.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Her homie.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Lover friend.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Are we not supposed to do that?
What that's R Kelly?
Oh, damn Damn Moly though.
Hey Moskis, hi babe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
What's wrong, mama?
What's wrong with you?
You sound like you're down.
Oh no, I think my iron low.
You sound like.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You sound like you're down.
Oh no, I think my iron low yousound like uh.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
You sound like uh, seleucus.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Isn't it?
Seleucus?
From Sesame Street Highbird.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Highbird?
Oh, it's Nefeleucus.
Whatever it is, I think.
I think he was high.
He wasn't high, maurice.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Look here, you can't go around just saying that he
was the resident drug addict.
No, he wasn't On Sesame Street.
Sesame Street was justimitations of real life people.
He was a drug addict.
The count was the pimp.
Why was the count?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
the pimp.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
One One.
He was counting.
He was down the hall, hurry up.
You had the gay couple.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie Bert and Ernie.
Stop it.
Stop.
They were not.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
See Snuffle up.
It was on the downers, cookieMonster was on the uppers.
I'm telling you, they had thewhole gang there and the only
person that was real was Oscarthe Grouch, because he saw what
it was like.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
He was the old man sitting in the window just
watching it all unfold.
Because I live in a fuckingtrash.
Can Oscar, why are you sogrouchy?
Because I live in a trash, canI mean, was that by choice?
Like, how did we end up here?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
He wanted to be isolated.
You saw how he lived in.
Just enough space for him.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
He lived in just no space for him.
A trash can is crazy.
Work though Oscar was, he wastired of people.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
A trash can is crazy work, and Big Bird was on uppers
too.
Yeah, Big Bird was on somethingbig, Whoa pause.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Pause.
How was your week, wooskies?
My week was good.
Oh, that's great.
I had a really good Mother'sDay.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I mean, you know, by the time they hear this, oh,
shout out to Happy Mother's DayTo all the good mothers out
there.
Your deadbeats don't deservenothing.
And you know who you are myhusband, anyway, I'm keeping it
real.
Just like there's deadbeats dad, there's deadbeat mothers, oh
my gosh.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Okay, speaking of deadbeat dads, um, I I can't
remember what she was, whatstate it was, but apparently I
think it was the sheriff orsomething.
I gotta get the story straight.
But he decided to put up adeadbeat dad wall oh, okay and
post all of the deadbeat dads onthe wall and I was like how are
(04:09):
you gonna, how are you gonnaknow, like what's, what's your,
your standard or guidelines?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
it was probably the guys that were behind on child
support oh, yeah, probablythat's, that's probably yeah
damn, damn cold work, so how wasyour week?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
My week was good.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
You got excited about Debbie, debbie dead.
So I see no, you know what?
Here's Side note.
I agree with that creator.
That said that being being agood father Is so exhausting
that sometimes being a Debbie Isappealing.
Because, they just Shut up,they just seem like they got
life.
They just have the life.
They have the life.
They stress free.
(04:48):
They ain't worry about howthese kids getting nothing.
They ain't worry about howthese kids getting nowhere they
not worried about them eatingNothing.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All they worry about is the next thing Taking care of
themselves.
That's it.
It sounds so, which isperfectly fine.
It sounds so free.
You just need to not procreate.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
It sounds so free.
I was just trying to have agood time.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay, but you didn't do it responsibly.
Therein lies the problem.
That's because my wife wasdrunk that night.
That's not a thing.
She was like Not a thing.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
My wife said how you doing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
How you doing.
No, I mean, I had a really goodweek, I had a good Mother's Day
.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Were you out there, like normally in that wine,
cooler showing up.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
What?
No, not at all.
You weren't showing up.
No, not at all.
Okay, I really enjoyed myMother's Day gifts that was fun,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
My wife is.
We're going to have to get youa new nickname because
everything, everything, pink.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh yeah, cause my I wanted like new gym gear and
stuff, so the hubby came throughwith my new gym bag and clips
and sleeves and everything, sothat was pretty cool, thank you.
All pink everything, all pink,everything.
So now I can be that girl inthe gym.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink
shaker cups too.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
You don't know that, but I ordered you some pink
shaker cups too.
Oh my gosh, that's notnecessary, but I appreciate it
Pinked out, I appreciate it.
All pink, everything.
But yeah, I hit 275 for tworeps on my squat.
Okay, that was really exciting.
I was really actually reallyexcited about that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Can I tell you what really happened what?
My wife was so excited abouthitting these 275 for two that
she hit me.
Oh my gosh, I barely tapped you, maurice, and when she hit me,
I had to.
I couldn't clutch my pearlsbecause I wasn't wearing them,
so I had to clutch my chest.
He clutched his pecs and I saidoh my god, did she just attack
(06:43):
me?
You are so the sheer, the sheerforce behind that attack.
I said this sound like I wouldhave been attacked.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I almost pressed charges okay, doubtful, but then
I said, if I, press chargesit's going to cancel out the
life insurance.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I don't have to pay nothing to it, so does that?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
is it really does that?
Is that a thing?
Yeah, so my week was good.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Is that a?
Thing?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
my week was good.
No, is that like?
A thing oh yeah, don't kill meno, I'm saying like if I was to
press charges against you, orlike a sold or something, no, no
, oh, I was gonna say I don'tthink that's crazy, but my week
was good.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Um, you know, it's always good when, uh, you
receive a blessing that youwasn't looking forward to.
Oh, you want to want to do itAll the time.
He may not come when you wanthim, but he's always, okay,
always.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
If it's one thing he has been, it's faithful, yeah.
If it's one thing he has doneit, upholds his promises.
I'm not going to preach tonight.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Because sometimes I be wanting to preach.
But it was good.
I'm really happy, I'm reallyexcited.
I'm really excited for camp.
Man, I don't know why I'mexcited for camp, like I'm the
one going to camp camp, ohgymnastics camp.
Yeah, I don't know why I'mexcited.
Why are you excited for camp?
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I think you're just excited for the road trip, like
we're just excited to have, likea few hours a day together, but
we're gonna be at the gyms Iknow, but we're gonna be at
different gyms right, because wehad never won the city yeah,
because we get to go todifferent gyms and we're gonna
take pictures and take notes ofwhat what our gym is lacking and
we're gonna go back right,they're still not gonna.
(08:12):
We're gonna go right back tomanagement say fix this um.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yeah, but I had a good week.
We tried out new gyms on um onlast thursday, oh yeah we
finally tried out the gym thathe's been he all month.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I want to try it out.
I want to try it out.
Finally tried the gym outbefore we even went to the gym.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I thought this was my week.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Yeah, it is.
Before we even went to the gym,he was convinced that he was
going to be signing up, like hewas going to sign up before he
even worked out at the gym.
And what ended up happening,babe?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
It wasn't my Jewish.
And what ended up happening,babe, it wasn't my judge.
Like I was really like, I wasreally happy and excited about,
like some of the equipment theyhad.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, me too.
They had nice equipment.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
But I was like the crowd wasn't my, it wasn't my
crowd, it wasn't your community.
Nah, it was too country clubfor me.
I like a little ratchet andthorn in mine.
You know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
You know what I mean?
Sure, I think I honestly.
Maybe I went at the wrong time.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I honestly also think that we've just been at our gym
like a long, like fairly not along long time, it's been a year
, yeah but we've developedcommunity in our gym and like
the people that go there, likeeven though you're not like
besties or anything with thepeople that go there, but they
know you and you know them.
And it's like now when you comein.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I didn't meet a new uh gym friend this this week who
was the guy you were talking toyesterday?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
jeremiah?
Yeah, is that his?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
name.
I said damn yeah.
I said yo mama love the bible.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Your name is jeremiah well, because when I saw you go
over there talk to, I was likeI wonder if he knows him from
work or something.
And what were you talking tohim about?
Because I was like we weretalking about shoes.
Okay, oh, that's when he wastalking about the hokas and
stuff.
Yeah, so I mean, yeah, I mean,but yeah, I think that's what.
It wasn't.
So.
The new gym, the vibe, theequipment was great.
(10:01):
The equipment was great.
I got humbled.
So you know me, I've been usingthe 60-pound dumbbells, been
feeling good, been feelingstrong.
They have metal dumbbells.
Yeah, buddy, I went to pickthem up and I said let me sit my
stupid ass down.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Right, I said I'm going to go ahead and do these
50s today.
Yeah, okay, let me pick upthese 50s.
I, uh, I.
I texted my trainer right away.
I said these little dumbbellswill humble you quick.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
You think you strong which is crazy, because they it
can't possibly be that much itfelt.
But it's enough like it'senough, and I don't know if it
was just like your brain playingtricks with you or what well he
was telling me, maybe because Iwas kind of exhausted from the
pull-ups or because we were in anew, a new space too?
Nah, no, okay, I thought Itried to make an excuse, yeah
(10:55):
but I had, I had a good week allaround.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
You know, blessings on blessings blessings on
blessings.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I want to thank all the new followers and
subscribers.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Thanks guys.
We appreciate you guys andevery day, you guys are taking
me closer and closer to workingless and less, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Bye, Maurice.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I just want you all to know when we start hitting
these numbers here.
The content is only going toget better because I want to
spend more time on the contentthan I do at work.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's all I'm saying .
So he's trying to say thecontent is up to you, it's up to
you, bye.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
The quality is not how it works, by your powers
combined.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Ah, oh my gosh, can we please watch it before bed?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yes, ma'am Please.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
For those of you who didn't?
Catch the reference.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We can watch it, but it it got to be the Don Tito one
, no.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
No, For those of you who didn't catch the reference,
that's Captain Planet.
Do you remember the song?
Captain Planet, he's a hero.
Gonna take pollution down tozero.
Gonna help him put Okay that'senough.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
That's enough.
This is copyrighted.
That's enough.
Heart the heart ring was awaste of time water earth wind.
It was the four elements, andthen they threw heart in there
because you have to have heartwith your powers combined.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
I am Captain Planet.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
I'm not getting it done.
And the thing is, it's clearfrom the common results of our
generation that Captain Planetdidn't work.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
The DARE program didn't work.
What else Did AVIT work?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Smokey probably didn't work because of these
fires in California.
I don't think he worked either.
I don't think my generationlistened to none of that.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
We had PBS.
Nobody followed any of therules into life from PBS.
No what we?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
got today.
What we got today.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Damn, that's cold, cold, oh, no, wait.
Ok, I wanted to ask you did yousee the video?
It's a video that went viral ofthis, this guy I guess he's a
firefighter, but it's hisbirthday party, right?
And so he calls his wife up tothe stage at the birthday party.
(13:18):
He's like I know it's mybirthday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she hadbeen cheating on him and she had
been cheating on him and helike laid her out like he didn't
like knock her out, but he likeexposed her.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
you didn't see that part, oh well I knew what was
coming, so I just I was fightingwith her oh was it bad it was.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Oh, it was.
It was bad like apparently hehad video and everything she
started crying and everybody,because people didn't know if he
was joking at first, because hegave her like, he grabbed her
face, he gave her a big kiss.
He's like wow, like that.
And everybody was like, oh, ok,like you know.
And then he was like she waslaughing and he was like I can
know everything like that.
And then everybody was gigglingbecause they think you know,
(13:55):
it's like playful love, love,love, banter.
And then he just starts layingit in and he was like, yeah, I
had to sit there and watch hissmall pelt and all this other
stuff, and that's why you had totake all these plan B's.
And then everybody was like andthen the lady in the back goes
is this, is he for real, is thisreal?
And then everybody was like Idon't know if this is a joke, a
(14:15):
skit, Like.
And then they started to realizelike no, no, this is real.
Like she, it was real.
But, shout out to the personwho ever was recording, because
they got everything.
Whoever was recording stayedjust like.
This Still hand gave a littlebit of zoomerization.
I said whoever was recording.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Zoomerization is wild .
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Whoever was recording , I bet you they knew and he was
like get this, get this.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Because I'm going to perform, Get this.
So I was like I this, get thisBecause.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I'm going to perform, Get this.
So I was like I said oh my gosh, so OK, that kind of takes me
into like today, OK, oh I kindof want to know.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
OK.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
OK, it's kind of, but not.
Are you telling me something?
Speaker 2 (14:59):
No, this is a safe space.
Ok, let me blink.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
We listen and we judge slightly greatly.
Um, okay, so if you had afriend who you know, whose
spouse was committing adultery,okay, or cheating for for fact,
for like undeniable yeah, okay,would you, or would you not tell
your friend?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
how close am I to this friend?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
let's say, you guys have been friends five years
like first first, would you orwould you not like, is it within
your character?
Speaker 2 (15:41):
I think I would to tell or not.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I think I would okay, that's a different story yeah,
because I was.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I would Okay, that's a different story.
Yeah, because I was capping.
Yeah, because I was capping,but I think I would ask a
question first, okay, BecauseI'd be like, hey man, you got an
open relationship.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Okay, I don't think that's how you should go into it
.
Hey, hey man, y'all open.
Because then he might thinkyou're, I'd be like, hey man,
are y'all open?
Because then he might thinkyou're, I'd be like, hey man,
what's your thoughts on an open?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
relationship.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Then he might think that you're a swinger I'm not
and that you want to invite himand his no.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I would preference it with something like you know,
me and my wife was having adiscussion and you know we and I
would say that we both disagree.
But what's your thoughts?
Like you know, I wouldformulate like a conversation
and then, as I hear his thoughts, I'm like, oh, not determined
if I should tell him or not.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
OK, so like what type of proof do you think you would
need to feel comfortable?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I would need concrete proof.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
OK, what would be concrete, like I need to like
have seen them or like seen like.
Seen them do what, though?
Like what if they're out andabout, like holding hands and
going to lunch?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
but then it comes to find out that's her cousin look,
here I would need proof, okay,because I'm not going to drop a
bomb on a marriage orrelationship that could implode
it, because if I'm wrong, that'sgoing to greatly affect my
friendship right, and so that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Do you trust your judgment?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
yeah, I mean my initial judgment be like hey,
man, um, you might want to checkit out.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Wait what I want to check it out.
Hey man, you might want tocheck it out.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
I might just find the other person.
It was like social media posts.
I might just start sending theposts.
Hey, you see that.
Sending your friend posts orthe spouse, the friend, see, see
this Boom.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
But that's okay, but that I don't think that helped
them deduce themselves.
Ok, but if my friend suspectedyou of cheating and she just
started sending me videos andreels on Instagram?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I'm saying like if I had the evidence of like them
together on.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Oh, like you would.
You would snap a picture ofthem or something and then send
your friend that picture and belike oh, hey, I saw your wife
today, or the other person islike them in specific places and
stuff.
But that's crazy, though, Ifthey're cheating chances are?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
they probably won't be.
Some people don't.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, but let's say for the sake of discussion Look
here.
What type of concrete evidencewould be sufficient enough for
you to seriously go to yourfriend and sit down with him and
say hey, I think you know Idon't want to overstep my
boundaries.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
I would need to see some type of intimate contact.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Okay, so what is that ?
Like a kiss on the lips or acheek, because we know how you
feel about kissing with tongueand no tongue.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
A kiss period.
You don't consider tongue.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
A kiss period, okay.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Hand holding a grabbing of the ass.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
What hand-holding, grabbing at the ass?
What if she plays sports andthat's like her teammate?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Okay, this is where your daughter gets it from, just
kidding.
This is why she always has abackpack full of spare body
parts, so that she can alwaysfeel like she's ahead.
Side note you cannot play.
I Stole your Nose with mydaughter because she has a
thousand noses in hermake-believe backpack.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
That's the recourse Every time he's like oh, I stole
your nose.
She was like, I got another oneBecause when she was little she
used to literally like cry,like give my nose back, she's
like daddy won't give me my noseback.
I'm like girl, the nose is onyour face.
I was like just pretend likeyou got another one, that he can
never take them from you.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
So you're the problem , but I would need something as
close to concrete as possible.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Okay, what about you?
Yes, I would need somethingconcrete.
I would probably investigate,myself, okay.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Probably.
You would I know, becausehere's the thing, the thing for
me I feel like I would be everytime she says here's the thing,
it's gonna be some bs, go ahead,here's the thing, go, go ahead
and give it to us, shut up, goahead and give it to us, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
so it kind of goes back to what you said in the
beginning, like how, how longhave you known this friend?
Like, if it was my best friend,shout out to Jazzy, jazzy, I
love you.
If I had.
Oh, she deserves it.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Goodbye, hold on, hold on.
I'm just playing Jazzy, don'tcome for me.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
If I had suspected my best friend's husband doing
something?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
inappropriate.
Don't talk about my boy likethat.
He wouldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I know, but I'm saying for the sake of the
conversation.
This is the person that I'mclose to right, so this is 20
plus years in the game.
I'm coming to her, even if Isuspect.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Because it's 20 plus years.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yes, even if it ain't nothing, even if it didn't sit
well with my spirit, I'm goingto just let you know, because
she knows because, only becausewe have a relationship to, where
she knows that she's just notgoing to take what I say at face
value, like that's.
That's the person she's beenmarried to more than half her
life, so she's also going to doher own digging, you know but
(20:42):
she knows that I'm not trying tostart mess.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
But that's why I told you the level of friendship and
the length of friendship alsomatters, Because there's that
conversation Like if it'ssomeone you've known a couple of
years.
That's a different conversation.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
If I've known them a couple of years, I'm not going
to go to the extent of like,maybe having concrete evidence,
I'm going to just be like, look,if it was me and I saw my man
do some shit like that, I'mgoing to just let you know I
wouldn't be comfortable with it,but I don't know what your
relationship is like.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Oh my God, I miss LaJules.
I just thought about her.
You told her she liked him.
Do you think I care what thisman does?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
No, I don't care, I don't even know where he is half
the time.
I miss her.
I miss her too, but I miss her.
I miss her too.
Um, but yeah, so like if it'sit's like if it's like my bestie
we've all been friends for solong it's like that's my step
husband.
So like if you excuse me,excuse the fuck out of me no,
(21:43):
it's like if you doing some foulstuff to her, you're
technically doing it to me too.
Because if, if, things go south.
listen, if things go south, youbreak us all up, Like your
mistake breaks us all up.
I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I'm still friends with both sides.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
I'm not picking a side, you're not going to be
cool with them anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
I'm not picking sides , you're not going to be cool
with them anymore.
Look here.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
You picked a side, mine.
So, like I said, you do herwrong, you kind of did me wrong.
Now, look now, now none of usare happy.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
See, I have to be the mediator for the kids because
I'm their black dad so she'slike your step wife no, no, no,
no, she was my surrogate bye,but anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So I I feel like if it was a very like valued,
long-term friendship, like mybestie, I personally would do,
digging myself like I would takethe extra mile right to make
sure that what I'm seeing, orwhat I believe to be seeing, is
what was what's actuallyhappening, and then I would to
be honest with you, to to be 100with you, I might be that
(22:49):
friend that confronts him First,first.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Like you better tell her.
If you don't tell her, I'mgoing to tell her.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Well, no, not even like to back him into a corner.
I wish one of your friends would, but just to be like hey, like
you know what you're doing iswrong and that's my best friend,
so you can either square itaway with her right now or like,
like you got till Friday, 5 PM.
I don't know what you want meto do.
All I can give you is tillFriday.
It's Thursday at three, so Ican only give you till Friday to
(23:16):
five.
I'm gonna let you go to work,let it marinate on your mind a
little bit.
When you get off work, I'mgoing to be on your couch, like
I just came to visit and I'mgonna be waiting for you to be
like hey, you know, can you giveus a minute or go home so I can
talk to my wife.
And I'll be like yeah, I thinkthat's the deadline is dialogue
give you till five on Friday.
(23:38):
What are you, the transporter,just saying?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
but if it's somebody like, you know you don't fucked
up right if I've known you ayear, I'm sorry, calling you an
equalizer bye.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
if I've known you a year and I'm going to start
calling you an equalizer Bye.
If I've known you a year and Isuspect, or if I perceive, that
your spouse has been committingadultery, I'm probably going to
say something.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
But the thing when I think about this more for me is
like I literally would have tosee it, because I am so hands
off when it comes to otherpeople's, like marriage and
relationship, like I don't knownothing unless you tell me or
you stumble across it right,like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm not looking for it, right?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
so if I, if I was to come across something, I'd be
like I I would probably missmissing it, depending on the
length of friendship and likehow well we know each other.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I would mention something right okay, so let me,
let me flip it on you, kind oflike what we were talking about
last week, what we're talkingabout last week if okay so if
your friend who you know ismarried.
Like, let's say, we had to gettogether at our house right,
okay, so we know all of ourfriends are married, right?
If your friend showed up to ourhouse with another woman who
(24:42):
was not, that's not cool withnot who was not his wife.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
That's not cool.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
In a capacity of like this is my plus one.
What does that conversationlook like From you to your
friend?
Like what would you say?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
I'm gonna step inside .
Who this bitch?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Hoppo who this woman?
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And I'm like, hey man , look here you know, she can't
come in my house.
I personally don't care thatshe's here, because I don't know
what your situation is here andI'm not going to assume
anything.
But the woman ain't cool withthis.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
So you're making sense.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
So since she's making them uncomfortable, she can't
be here.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
If y'all have not made that, if y'all haven't made
that announcement, that's what.
I'm saying To everybody, like ifI'm not aware that y'all are
separated, going through adivorce, like whatever the case
is, you can't bring that womanin my house.
I'm sorry, my loyalties stilllie with your wife.
That's going to be a hard no.
She's out to sell on the porch.
(25:41):
She cannot come to the cookout.
She better not set foot in mybackyard.
That's all I'm saying.
But what if she broughtoxtailsails?
She can drop off the oxtails.
First I'll manipulate her intodropping off the oxtails and
then I'd politely escort herback through the front door oh
no, she got oxtails.
I'm gonna let her in well, Imean honestly, I probably let
her keep her oxtails, becauseshe a damn stranger, I don't
know where she came from.
You can't eat everybody'scooking you're right I don't
(26:04):
know where this woman came from.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
There's certain cooking you take a risk for.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
No it's not.
It's not, yeah, but no,definitely she wouldn't be in my
house.
Ok, but so the next part ofthat is After speaking to your
friend.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
OK.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
OK, and let's just say he tells you, you know, we
just going, we going through arough patch.
This is just my little friendlike her and I hang out every
now and then.
Do you can't be here, ok, she?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
can't be here.
I'm going to tell you.
I'm going to tell him the same.
I'm going to tell him the samething I told my brother Stop
bringing these women to my houseIf you're not serious.
I'm tired of meeting Kate andEdith Bye Too Right.
Meeting kate and edith bye tooright.
(26:54):
Only in the, in the in and tothat point when I said that to
him.
The next woman I met was hiswife.
Yeah, I said, bro, I'm nottrying to be invested in all
these women and you dropped themlike flies like.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
I mean in a technical sense, he wasn't dropping them,
he.
He laid out the, the, the deal,and you know it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
But it's just like what I'm not going to do and
what I'm not, what I have nointentions of, because here's my
thing.
I would say I am friends withyou, okay Right, so I don't want
to cultivate any type ofrelationship or friendship with
anyone that's not going to bepermanently attached to you, or
at least attached to you for aperiod of time.
(27:30):
And when I say extend, I'mtalking about five years plus.
Oh gosh, Like she's going to bein some cookout pictures type
extended.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Like when we go back to the family photo album we'll
be like, oh my gosh, that's fromwhen y'all was dating, right,
you remember her?
Oh, I remember her, I rememberher.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So if it's not, that don't, don't, don't be bringing
her around here I don't, that'sthat's, that's just me yeah,
okay, but okay, here that wassaying my thing is because this,
also this because don't bringher around.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I think she cool and I hope y'all work it out.
You drop her, yeah.
And now here I am friends withsomebody I do not even with no
more on instagram and now I lookweird right crazy work, ain't
that your ex-brother followingyou?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
bye, bye, um, okay, but the other part of that is
okay.
He tells you that's just hisfriend, right, that they hang
out sometimes because you knowhim and his wife right they
can't hang out here, but thenext time we see them he's with
his wife.
Now you know that he has not mybusiness.
(28:28):
It's not my business.
Okay so he's your friend andhis and his spouse is cheating.
It's your business to tell himhis spouse is cheating.
But since he's your friend andhe's the one that's cheating.
You feel no obligation to hisspouse to let his spouse know
that he's cheating.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Let me be for.
Let me be clear on this myloyalty lies with my friend.
I think that's crazy.
If I have not cultivated afriendship with both of you, my
loyalty does not lie with bothof you.
There are many couple friendsthat we have where my loyalty is
with the husband.
(29:06):
So the wife can just kick rocksif he's screwing somebody else,
I'm not saying kick rocksbecause I'm not going to tell
her, but the person I am, I'mgoing to have a conversation
with him and say, hey, what'syour behavior right now?
Don't align with my morals andbeliefs.
So I can't be around you ifthis is what you're partaking in
?
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Yeah, because that's not the type of man I hang with.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
That conversation will be had.
Yeah, Because the last thingyou're going to do is think that
you're going to do some dirtand then try to influence me to
do some dirt Because I'm happyover here.
Player.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Well, not only that.
They say you are who you hangaround, Just like they say you
are what you eat.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
But then your curls will be stronger because you
hang around me.
That's true, wow.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
My curls would be stronger yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Curls for girls.
Yeah, but so like Says theperson who keeps my 225.
Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
What were you saying?
I can't, you cannot.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I'm going to do it on Wednesday just because you're
there, like I said, I will havethat conversation with him.
Like, hey, I don't want no messhere, because I know that, even
though I may not say nothing,my wife gonna tell her something
, and that's another thing.
I know this certain situationsI ain't gotta say nothing
because it's gonna be said bysomebody else.
(30:15):
And when he looked at me I'mlike, hey, man, you know what
you did.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
If, if, if everything wasn't on the.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
You just gonna assume I'm gonna tell a wife because
you are because every time weget together and we, it never
happened, never it fails.
It happens every single time.
What there comes a point in theday where we all split, where
we're all split, women are inhere we start together and then,
for some reason, the men end upoutside.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
All the women end up inside and then the kids are
going the kids just doingwhatever the hell it is they do
they just they, whatever.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
And when the women start talking, they start some
wives start devoting too muchshit that they have to know
that's gonna get back to us.
Because what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
because y'all tell us we don't divulge anything okay
we don't divulge anything, goahead and lie do you think your
friendship like if it's, do youthink your friendships could
survive you telling them thattheir spouse is cheating?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
If it doesn't, you wasn't my friend to start with
when I'm trying to be honestwith you.
You wasn't, because what if?
Speaker 1 (31:22):
they're upset with you Because that happens.
Okay, then you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Because here's my thing, I've set a standard.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Okay, then you shouldn't, because here's my
thing, I've set a standard no,I'm talking about like if, if
your friend, his wife, wascheating, but he got mad at you
for telling him oh it's okay, myconscience is clear.
I mean, your conscience couldstill be clear with you ignoring
what you saw just because, justbecause ignorance is bliss,
don't mean it's okay be ignorantthat's true, that's true.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
That's true.
It's funny you say that whenyou're ignorant about a lot of
things, A lot of importantthings Like what?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Maurice Like, who our mortgage holder is I know who
our mortgage holder is.
How?
Speaker 2 (32:02):
to pay the bills.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I know how to pay the bills.
No, you don't, man, I know howto pay the bills.
It's fine, you're well takencare of.
I.
I know how to pay the bills.
You pay the people that themoney's owed to boom.
Okay, it's pretty damnself-explanatory.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
You just whoever the people are, you, bam, that's it
and also, I don't believe I haveany friends that would be upset
for me telling them if, if, ifI wasn't assuming and if I
actually had concrete evidence,I told him it was true.
I don't think I have anyfriends that would be upset when
we tell them do you think that?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
okay, so would you want your friends to tell you?
I would know, I would know.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
It's funny that you think you're that bright um,
this has been another episodeand most likely the last episode
.
It just came out.
I love you.
Other life, as I do podcasts we, we, we made it 86 episodes and
(33:00):
I think this is gonna or maybe87 or 88, something like that,
and this will be the last one,clearly.
My wife has told me.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
It's because my iron low.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
You think you would be able to tell, yes, yeah, I
have a whole separate family.
I've hid from you for a decade.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That I would know, strictly based on how you mother
, why I wouldn't have time forthe other family.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
No, you wouldn't have time.
There's nothing left in thetank because let me tell you, I
ain't got nothing left in thetank today.
I ain't got nothing left.
That's like I tell you, I ain'tgot time to cheat.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
I just I ain't got time to entertain it's too much.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's a lot of energy, like, even just like when
people flirting with you youdon't even know they flirting
with you.
You be like you do, apparently,when I'm told.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
No, I said you know when they flirt with me.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Oh yeah, that's because you know it's not the
brightest bunches out thereanymore.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Okay, it's not the brightest bunches out there
anymore.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Okay, it's not the brightest bunches, they just be
too desperate nowadays, you knowbut anywho, um yeah, so you
think you'd be able to tell.
I think I would be able to tell, tell what about cheating?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
no, you wouldn't, I've been cheating for 23 years.
You've been what cheating for23 years with who.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Jackie really my alter ego.
You're so, my alter ego, you'reso dumb, my alter ego.
I don't got to cheat.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
I married three women .
Speaker 1 (34:35):
You got Jackie, me, Patricia.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Vacation base with my baby.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Vacation base yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
She's cool.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Haven't seen her in a minute though, right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I'm not going to see her in July either, because it
ain't really vacation.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
It's not.
I mean, we can take her to anovernight daycare.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
No, I love my child too much for that.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
So you're.
So any who back to the topic athand.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You cheating, oh you, what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (35:11):
That's the topic again.
Me cheating?
Yeah, I don.
No, I don't at games shefinally admitted and then I
don't.
And you know I never say cheat,I strategize at games, it's,
it's, I strategize the biggestcheater I don't cheat, babe,
it's called strategy get back tothe topic, babe.
It's called strategy.
Get back to the topic at hand.
It's called strategy.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Get back to the topic at hand.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Okay, Anywho.
So would you be really so?
You're willing to risk yourfriendship?
Speaker 2 (35:40):
I'm willing to risk anything for what's right,
because, at the end of the day,I'd rather have a clear
conscience and know that mymorals are intact than to be the
opposite of that.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
What if your friend becomes like combative and they
think that?
Speaker 2 (35:55):
you know, like oh you think you're better than me.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You think you know.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
I have firearms.
Oddly enough, it happens.
My thing is is that they'regoing to anger is an emotion and
that's what they're feeling inthe moment, and I will let them
get it off their chest and I'llsay well, you're welcome to
leave and have a good life.
I doubt it would be that smooth.
I'm at my age, I don't fightanymore.
(36:19):
Not him saying at my age, jesus, I don't fight anymore at my
age.
It's so like, if you want to,if you get physical with me, I'm
shooting you.
What I'm shooting?
I'm defending myself, I'mshooting.
And I say this all the time sothey know I'm going to shoot you
, I'm not fighting, I don't Ithink, that's a little
(36:41):
aggressive, though.
no, is it?
Yeah, it was aggressive thatyou thought you could try me.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
I mean whatever happened to like knock if you
bug yeah yeah, they bucked and Ipulled the trigger bye stupid.
They knocked and I pulled thetrigger because your life was
immediately threatened.
Immediately threatened, youfelt.
You felt I can't debil.
Well, it's nice to know thatyou would be an honest friend.
(37:07):
I, I'm going to tell you thetruth.
Yeah, were you like it or not?
Yeah, I would be an honestfriend, the only person I would
lie to is you Well keep lying tome.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
And I mean I don't lie.
Let me clear that out.
I lied to you about certainthings because I don't want to
like hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I can understand that .
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I've been doing that for 23 years.
See, I knew that was coming.
It's fine.
I know, as I've said many timeson here, my wife doesn't stroke
my ego, so I know she don't lieto me.
Just tell me, babe, how doesthis look?
Bad?
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
I've never said you look bad.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I said how this look?
I didn't say me oh, you knowyou never.
You don't tell me I look bad.
You be like, I mean there'sroom for improvement.
That's you saying it's bad.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
I don't say it like that, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
You give me different versions of oh, bless your
heart.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
If it doesn't look good, I let you know.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Like it could be better.
Yeah, different versions ofbless your heart.
What do you want me to do?
I don't mind sometimes I do lie, like when you were showing me
pictures okay alright this hasreally been the last episode.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
The iron's low.
Yeah, go ahead and try to blamethem on your made-up condition.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
I'm not my usual self .
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I hope every steak you eat in the next three weeks
tastes like dog shit.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Wow, that's harsh.
That's harsh Because I havelike three steaks planned for
the week, so that's kind ofharsh.
Damn, damn.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Play Damn, played yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Damn, you played yourself.
Look at you, look at you Playedyourself.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
You know what?
I'm out here with my BruceLeroy glow.
You're not going to take myglow.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
I'm not.
I think you are fabulous.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Okay, don't lie for the people.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Gone with the wind.
Are you done?
Gone, are you done?
I think you are gone.
Gone the wind.
Gone with the wind.
Fabulous.
It's been a long day for me,guys.
I'm sorry.
It's been a long day for me.
I've been up since like seven.
(39:30):
Wow, really Wow.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I know.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Oh my gosh, okay, let's go ahead and hop right on
into our deuces Gotcha bitch themail.
Cut it out, let's do this Ican't with you.
Am I the asshole for telling myfiance that I don't want his
mom in our wedding photosbecause she's been trying to get
(39:55):
me to sign a prenup that shewrote up?
Speaker 2 (39:59):
OK, let's go.
Speaker 1 (40:00):
I'm 27 and getting married next summer.
My fiance is 29 and we've beentogether for almost five years.
His mom has never liked me.
She's very involved in his lifeand I've always felt like she
sees me as some kind of threatto their bond.
For the past year she's beenbringing up prenups consistently
not my fiance, his mom.
She started sending me articles, books, even a sample prenup
(40:22):
that she wrote up herself likeliterally a Google doc.
It had stuff in it like that.
I waive all my rights to futureearnings and if I gained weight
after the wedding I would agreeto go to counseling.
I'm not joking.
I told her it was inappropriateand that I wouldn't be
discussing legal documents withher.
My fiance backed me up at firstbut over time I noticed he
started saying things like she'sjust trying to protect me or
(40:45):
you know how she gets.
He never directly told her tostop.
Things hit a breaking point afew weeks ago when she brought
up the same prenup again at afamily dinner in front of her
relatives.
She said that I was beingdifficult and that a woman who
refuses to protect a man'sassets has no business getting
married.
I was humiliated.
(41:06):
I left the table and we had ahuge fight afterwards.
I told my fiance that I don'twant her in our wedding photos.
I said that she can come to theceremony and be there if she
wants, but that I don't want herposing in our couple shots or
our family portraits.
I feel like she's made it clearshe doesn't actually want this
marriage to happen and I don'twant to look back at my wedding
(41:28):
album and feel fake smiles withsomeone who's made the process
so miserable.
Now his whole family is furious.
He says that I'm escalatingthings and being too harsh.
I told him I'm just setting aboundary after being
disrespected over and over.
My mom understands where I'mcoming from, but I think, but
thinks that I should let it goto keep the peace.
(41:49):
I feel like if I back downagain, she'll just keep walking
all over me.
So am I the asshole for tellingmy fiance that I don't want his
mom in our wedding photos aftershe's put me through all of
this?
No, I don't think so either.
This is what I think is crazy.
I think it's crazy that Prince.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Bishop, I think it's crazy that even before we get
married that we're having issueswith your mom and that you are
already setting that might be asign of a great marriage.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Listen that you you're setting a precedent that
your mom, you're not going tostand up to her, you're not
going to defend me and you'renot going to take into
consideration when I tell youthat I'm feeling disrespected or
uncomfortable and that's goingto be the remainder of our
marriage, right?
Because now what it does alsois it reinforces to your mother
(42:40):
that she can pretty much do whatshe wants.
She has say so in ourrelationship, she has say so in
our marriage.
She still has a form of controlover you and is masking it as
oh, this is our bond.
He's not your man Like I don'tknow, I don't know how to, maybe
because I'm not a boy mom, LikeI get it.
(43:01):
I'm not a boy mom.
He's not your man Like I get it.
You had a bond.
You guys are strong.
You're his mom.
You will forever be his mother.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Is it wrong, but he ain't't your man is it wrong
that it's giving me eithersingle mother or only child
vibes?
It could be like one or theother it could be.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
and I and I here's the thing I can totally
empathize with the um.
Empathetic no, it's rare, butshe admits it, I'm kidding um, I
can empathize with the wholeidea of you know, being close to
your, your, your son, and youguys, let's just say, if she was
(43:40):
a single, a single mom, andit's like you guys, you know,
growing up together, you guyshave this bond.
It's always been you and him,for now, there to be another
woman in his life who is goingto have his attention, who's
going to have you know, him,basically, and a part of you
feeling like what you're notabout to do is come in here and
(44:00):
just take him away from me.
I can, I can empathize withthat.
Right, I can empathize withthat because I think the
difference in that and like girlmoms is like the daughter is my
baby.
So, yes, I'll be giving her oryou'll be giving her away one
day to a man.
But when it comes to, but whenit comes to I, I would think
(44:21):
like the bond, or them comingover, things like that, it's
like mom is probably gonna be,I'm gonna be, leasing.
You'll be leasing her by Maurice.
She's Bye, maurice, she's not acar, but she can always come
back here.
Well, okay, that's fair, but Ijust say that to say only
because you know, I have afriend who's going through that
right now and her son just gotmarried and, like she said, it
(44:42):
was her and her son for so longRight, and now he's clinging to
his wife, which you know is whathe's been raised to do.
But that doesn't mean, you justleave mom behind.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
That's the.
That's the natural order ofthings yes.
Once you go off and get married, it is typical that now all the
time it's going to be spentwith the wife, the wife's family
.
The kids are going to know thewife's side of the family.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
That's just.
He's prioritizing his wife.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That's just typical.
I don't think she's an asshole.
I think that the fiancé needsto understand that you're
starting a covenant in a familywith your wife and that's going
to be outside of your mother.
Your mother does not need to beinside of your marital business
.
You'll never have a good, solidmarriage if you constantly let
(45:32):
your mother half her wayintercede and give her input.
Me personally, if this was mymother, I would just lie to her
and tell her that we alreadyhave one, just so she'd shut up
but you shouldn't have to dothat.
You're a grown ass man sometimeslet's hear, sometimes it's okay
to lie to keep the peace.
(45:52):
But you shouldn't have to dothat.
You're a grown ass man.
Sometimes let's hear, sometimesit's okay to lie To keep the
peace, because I clearly loveyou, because I asked you to
marry me, I love my motherbecause that's my mother, of
course.
So I'm going to lie to one ofy'all, and I'd rather lie to her
.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
So we don't start off on a bad foot.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Because she's going to be more forgiving.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Yeah, but she's going to be really upset if anything
goes south.
And you told her all theseyears you had a prenup and then
your wife ended up taking 75%.
She's going to be real upsetwith you.
Here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Let's flip the prenup , right, okay, everything she
wants you to agree to flip it onhim too, right.
So you got to maintain acertain weight.
He got to maintain a certainbody fat percentage, right,
right.
Since you want this to betransactional completely, yeah,
let's make it right.
Yeah, ok, let's say you don'tleave with you, you're not
(46:41):
entitled to half of of whateverof his finances Right, but for
every year you're in, you getfive percent or 10 percent or
something, yeah so.
And at the 10th year, and youget 10% just for staying with
her, staying with him, and anextra 5% for every child you
give him.
I mean, make it so.
(47:02):
When he really think about it,he gonna walk away with 10% of
what he had and then just makethat deal and then just keep
giving him.
Kids push out like six babies.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
No, he wouldn't go for that.
I can't.
But yeah, I don't think you're,I don't think you're an asshole
, if that's the boundary shewants to say you can say when
it's your wedding day, so Iwouldn't want that fake half of
my and he can take.
He can take pictures with hismom, that's fine.
Yeah, by yourself over therewhich I'm on.
Um, let me see.
Am I wrong for wanting to leaveafter finding out the truth of
(47:34):
when my boyfriend was fired?
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
So two nights ago I did a thing where I went through
my boyfriend's phone.
I know completely wrong.
Now back, uh no, backstory.
My boyfriend of two and a halfyears told me he lost his job a
month and a week ago.
I didn't find out until the dayour landlord texted us that we
were late on our rent, which wassurprising, as my boyfriend
told me that he paid for italready.
(47:59):
As I read the text, Iimmediately got a call from my
boyfriend saying it was an error.
An hour later he came home totell me that it was a lie and
that he was fired and couldn'tpay our rent.
Now backstory about us.
My boyfriend makes three timeswhat I make in a year thanks to
my current position.
Before it was five times what Imade.
(48:20):
So when I got the news, I was amess.
However, I had enough saved upto pay our rent.
The following month was superheavy on me, but my boyfriend
landed a new job four weeksafter everything happened.
Now I've been unsettled, asthis isn't the first time he's
lied to me about our finances.
A year ago, his car was repoedin the middle of the night,
(48:40):
which shocked me About twonights ago when I went through
his phone intuition, or whateveryou wanna call it and I read
through messages with friendsand coworkers about how the
firing happened in January it'scurrently May, which completely
shocked me, as he lied to meabout when everything happened.
Now I'm second guessingeverything.
(49:01):
What do I do?
How do I forgive this Help?
Speaker 2 (49:06):
She mind your motherfucking business.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
Not when it comes to money.
Why are you?
Speaker 2 (49:11):
going through his phone.
Speaker 1 (49:14):
Not when it comes Apparently, because he lie.
That's why he lie.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
He's lying about things money related, which I
don't, which is huge, can I talk, go ahead, which I cannot
condone.
But what?
I will say this Sometimes, as aman, the weight the financial
weight of a relationship getsheavy and when things are not
going your way, it's hard to behonest and upfront because it's
(49:41):
almost like embracing the partof failure that you perceive
yourself to be in.
And you're coming face to facewith that when you're telling
your wife or your significantother that about what's what's,
what's happening.
So, and I believe that I don'tbelieve that he, he lied to you
just because he won the law.
He lied to you out of guilt.
(50:01):
He lied to you out of um, thisis just my belief.
He lied to you out of theunderstanding, and maybe even
possible to hope, that he wouldprobably get a job faster, fast
enough to where it reallywouldn't affect you.
And it's also a thing that youknow some men like to do where
they don't like to reallyinvolve their partner in the
(50:25):
finances as much, because theydon't want them to work.
Because you know, we all know,women have a tendency to
over-dramaticize.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
There's no over-dramaticize when it comes
to money and how we're going tohave a tendency to over dramatic
size.
Uh, there's no over dramaticsize when it comes to money and
how we gonna have a roof over.
Am I talking, you talking,we're talking.
Well, I'm done, then, sir we'retalking.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
I mean it could it could be.
It could be that he felt guilty, it could be that he didn't
want you to, he didn't want youto stress, don't want you to
worry.
I mean, and it's just, it couldjust be that he wasn't mature
enough to handle the emotionswith himself, and definitely not
mature enough in a place toconvey the situation and his
feelings to you without feelingattacked or hurt or less than.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
Or like a failure.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
That is my answer.
Speaker 1 (51:11):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
But you already asked what we're going through this
morning.
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Now go ahead and say I'm not gonna say the opposite
of what you say.
I agree with everything thatyou said.
Yeah, I do, I agree witheverything that you said.
However, here we go.
If I can see where you'recoming from, see, I can see
where you're coming from, hereit is.
See, I can see where you'recoming from.
Every time she says I can seehere come the bullshit.
I can see where you're comingfrom, where he was like maybe he
could get the other job in timeto cover whatever, so that she
(51:40):
doesn't have to feel the bluntof it, right, All this hand
stuff.
This is the problem that comesin.
The problem comes in is when,by you holding on to all that
information and you keeping mein the dark and making me feel
like everything's taken care of,our rent is taken, because what
happened if she didn't havemoney saved up to pay their rent
?
And he's like OK, this is goingto come through and I'm going
(52:01):
to get it taken care of and Idon't want you to worry about it
and the rent is paid.
And he's telling her the rentis paid, the bills are paid,
everything's good, you don'thave anything to worry about.
What happens if she didn't haveanything?
Speaker 2 (52:10):
saved up.
Look here as someone who hasbeen on unemployment or not on
employment disability.
He was waiting on that check tohit.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
You don't know what he was waiting on.
Stop it.
Speaker 2 (52:19):
It was one.
Speaker 1 (52:19):
Listen, anyway, it was one.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
It was one of the months where the check hit after
the rent was due.
Speaker 1 (52:28):
No, I say all that to say I agree with what you're
saying and I can see from thatperspective, but again, we are
still in a partnership and yourdecisions if it's decisions that
can directly affect my life too, that's something that you need
to bring up.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
Right, so if he couldn't, pay the rent.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
If he couldn't pay the rent, he could have just
been like you know, look, thisis what I have, this is what I
have planned.
Unfortunately, I lost my joblast Friday.
Okay, that's already going tobe a shocker.
He's already processing thefact that he lost his job.
So there is that.
So he's already under animmense amount of stress,
especially if rent is hisresponsibility.
He's already under an immenseamount of stress.
(53:02):
But if he would have just likebuckled up and just been like,
hey, like I lost my job, this ishow much I've got right now to
like get us through.
This is my plan.
I'm going to pay the rent, I'mgoing to do this and then after
that, in between time, I mayneed some help to hold me over
until I can get the next job.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
You probably thought he couldn't help her if he was
making five times what she wasmaking well, we don't know how
much.
Speaker 1 (53:26):
Five times was he?
Speaker 2 (53:27):
was subsidizing her.
Well, we don't know how much,we don't know she could have
been making.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
She could have been making 13 an hour it don't
matter what she's making.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
He making five times more, so who is she to subsidize
?
She's subsidizing her lifestyle.
Don't go through his phone,don't upset yourself.
You're not on his level you'redone you?
Are you out here living under asection 8 voucher?
Speaker 1 (53:52):
now you're just adding things to the story.
Now you're just adding things.
I think we're both tired.
I think it's time to go to bed.
I'm just starting.
I was like you, you're sleepy,my iron's low.
I think it's.
I think it's time.
Speaker 2 (54:11):
Um, I think did she ask what she asked over going
through the phone.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
Was that the question ?
No, like she was, because shewanted to break up with him
because he lied.
Okay, break up with him.
Speaker 2 (54:20):
Go find.
Make sure you find somebodyelse to settle down, Because on
the premise is that he has liedtwice.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
Where's she going to go?
Where's she going to go?
Well, she got money in the bank.
Speaker 2 (54:29):
That's going to run out quick.
Speaker 1 (54:30):
Oh my gosh, you don't know.
Why are you making up things inthe story?
Speaker 2 (54:33):
It's clear that she don't make enough to sustain the
lifestyle she used to.
Speaker 1 (54:37):
She makes enough that she's been paying the damn rent
.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
On her savings and she only be.
She was only.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
And every time she works she put more money back
into the savings.
She replenishes it, and she wasonly able to do that because
five times?
Yeah, but he was making fivetimes and didn't have a savings.
Oh, are you sure about that?
Yeah, because he didn't pay thedamn rent.
Had he had savings, he probablycould have covered the rent to
hold him over until he got thenext job.
Speaker 2 (55:03):
He only had three months saved and he was on month
five already.
Okay, give him a break.
Okay, he's doing it.
He's doing the best he can,savannah his best ain't good
enough.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Not for you, savannah , no we just talking shit.
Because that would have to justListen.
I don't want to crush your ego.
Whose ego?
But his I'd be like.
I don't want to crush your ego.
Speaker 2 (55:25):
But my thing, I just feel like this.
I feel like if you feel likeyou can't trust him, leave.
I feel like, if you feel likeyou, can't trust him.
Leave Because if the trust isnot there, you're always going
to question everything, you'renot going to be happy and you're
going to find other things andother reasons You're going to
question everything, to eithersnoop or have doubt.
So if that's how you reallyfeel, get out of Dodge, yep.
Speaker 1 (55:48):
I agree with that.
Speaker 2 (55:48):
This has been another episode of the Life After Do
podcast.
We appreciate you guys forsticking out with us and I know
my wife is boring sometimes.
We appreciate all the newfollowers on TikTok she's
struggling.
Tiktok Instagram.
All the subscribers on YouTubewe appreciate all the-.
Onlypans.
(56:09):
All the engagement.
You get a new episode everyWednesday, every Wednesday, and
you can write in to us atlifeafterdopodcastgmailcom.
And until next time, peacebooskies, peace booskies.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.