Double Tap, Double Standard

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Double-tapping into digital infidelity? In this episode, we go deep on one of the hottest topics in modern relationships: social media boundaries.

When is liking a photo harmless, and when is it crossing the line? We unpack why these small online actions can spark big real-life conflicts—from territorial behavior to unspoken invitations.

We share raw, unfiltered takes on intention versus perception, why respecting your partner’s comfort matters, and how to navigate tricky online interactions in marriage.

Plus, our “Our 2 Cents” segment on workplace gossip and roommate privacy makes you question: where do you draw your digital lines?

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Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know how some men like to try to pounce on
married women because it's achallenge.
Women do the same exact thingand there are women, okay, who
will be.
Some could be jealous of whatthey think you have, and some
women could play it like it's agame where you think, oh, you
think he faithful to you.

(00:21):
Oh, you think you know you gotit like that, Let me show you
because he likes to you.
Oh, you think you know you gotit like that.
Let me let me show you, Causehe likes all my photos and I
promise you, if I respond to oneof his comments or if I shoot
him a DM, I got your nigga.
Hey, everyone, welcome back toyour weekly dose of life after I

(00:54):
do podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
hello, it's me I've been wondering if, after all
these years, you liked me To goover everything.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Stop, stop.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
You know, I love Miss Madele.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Hey guys, it's me.
You know I love Miss Madele.
I'm Aisha and I'm Reese.
Hey, booskies, hi, how was yourweek?
It was good.
Go ahead and tell the people.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Tell the people what they weekly update all your gym
shenanigans.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Oh my gosh, you make this a thing, by the way, I
don't.
I mean, you keep it going, Idon't, but if you insist, I got
me a little soda, soda, soda, ohmy gosh.
Yeah, everything's good.
I had a good week.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
It's zero sugar calm down I don't think they cared
that much.
I don't really think they care.
Um, I had a good week.
It wasn't bad.
Nothing, nothing negative toreport, I guess I should say how
are your?
Lips um like out of 10, I wouldgive this week's lifts a solid

(02:07):
7.5.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Like a 7.5, 8.
How was your weeks outside ofyour lifts?
Good, you look good.
Thanks, what else?
Was it a good week?

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, it was a good week, you know still in summer
mode with the kids preparing forcamp Been getting everything
together for that.
Like you know, me and and momduties got to spend time with my
cousins um over the weekend.
That was really great.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
My life too.
That was really great.
I said, babe, is this like?
Is this like a family thing oris like a cousin thing?
Because I'm not gettingtogether, I'm not trying to be
around too many ovaries.
Oh my god, you know I have anovary limit and you know that
your wife has a family.
So, yeah, so that was the onlyyou came with your family I was,

(02:51):
you were not.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Who was there?

Speaker 2 (02:55):
my nephew's son oh my god I mean my cousin's son are
you our, our, our little cousin,that was seven.
Yes, again.
I say I was the only man there,okay.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
He is a young man.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
He's a child, he's a young man.
He's a child.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah, but so that was fun.
That was really fun, because Imissed my cousins, I miss my
little cousins.
I miss my kid being around hercousins.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Y'all too much.
When y'all get together, y'allbe doing the most.
My kid being around her cousins, y'all too much.
When y'all get together, y'allbe doing the most.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's a fun time we doing the most.
It's a fun time.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
When you're around family.
That you like.
Right Key point that you like.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
It's a fun time.
How much time?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
you got.
I listen to what I don't like.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
But yeah, outside of that gym was good Home, life was
good home life was good.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
That's good.
How was your week?
My week was great until today.
Okay, you know why.
You know.
Look here first of all.
You know they.
First of all the job messed upon my check, okay that always
sucks and at first I was mad,but then I was like that doesn't
mean I ain't got to worktomorrow.
That's not what that meant.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
That's exactly what that meant.
That's what that translates toin your head.
That means I go ahead.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Because they got to make up my pay and I don't want
my check to be too much.
The Uncle Sam wins.
We don't need Uncle Sam to winmore than what he's already
winning, that's true.
So I'll say you know what?
That's good, I'll just take iteasy and then you know.
To whoever stole my shaker cuptoday Are you sure somebody
stole your shaker?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
cup and you just didn't leave it at a different
station.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Whoever stole my shaker cup today?
Your mama's a hoe.
She giving out bevel team rubsin the bathroom Walking Figueroa
Street.
Oh my, and your daddy got 20years of life and he's somebody
bottom bitch.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Oh wow, all this because he thinks someone stole
his shit.
I know somebody did.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
I know somebody did, because it's all them, goddamn
teenagers.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
There wasn't even that many teenagers in there.
Oh my God it was.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
It was, and there's one kid, the way he was lifting
on the Smith machine, I said,look here.
I normally don't say nothing topeople.
I let them do what they do.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
But you're trying to take your whole back and neck
off.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
I said look here.
I said you're doing yourself adisservice, you're going to hurt
yourself, you're going to popyour elbow out of place.
I've never seen somebody lockout as hard as he was locking
out.
I said you're going to hurtyourself.
And then he was slammingagainst his chest.

(05:28):
I said look, you're doing toomuch.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
I said first of all, you're going to have to lower
your weight, okay, cause you'redoing too much.
So I think okay.
So when I went to the gym withmy nephew when we were at my
sister's house uh, what was itlast month, right?
And we went to the gym and sohe did my workout and he was
like auntie, he was like youwant to do some bench?
And I was like, oh dang, liketoday's not my real upper day, I
was like, but you know, I'llacquiesce.
And so he wanted to do somebench, right?

(05:51):
So I said, kamari, have youbench pressed?
And he was like, yeah, yeah, Ihave.
I was like, look, I know mynephew got a little time under
his belt, but he still don'tstrike me as the one that was
out on the yard bench pressing.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
So I was like he might be just a push-up and a
pull-up.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Great at that.
Body weight is perfect for that.
So I was like I said okay,kamari, we'll do some bench.
So I said well, how much do youbench?
And he was like what you mean?

Speaker 3 (06:20):
And I was like okay, that was the first red flag.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
That was the first red flag.
I said, kamari, how much do youbench Like, how much do you
want me to put on the barbell?
And I was like, do you start at135?
Do you start at 95?
He was like, well, I just knowthe plates, like the plates.
And I said, okay, do you use abig plate, the 45s, or do you
use, like, the mediums, the 25s,the 35s or whatever?

(06:43):
And he was like, oh, I can dothose, the big plates.
And I said, okay, so we'regoing to do one on each side.
So we'll start at 135.
And he was like okay, so I putthe 135 on there, right, and so
I'm looking at him set up.
And I was like, why are yousetting up like that?
And he was like, that's how youdo it goes.
Have you ever seen prison shows?
oh god okay and I said, yes,kamari, I have seen prison shows

(07:08):
.
He was like have you ever seenthem?
Bench press yes, kamari.
I said, but that's, that'sreally a whole different.
I said I said, okay, so that'swhere this is coming from.
So when you said that, I waslike and you said he kept
slamming it on his chest, I saidoh, he saw the prison show.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
I said he's gonna hurt himself.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I said you don't have a lot of chest to start with,
so you probably shouldn't beslamming it like that.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
You can hurt yourself , yeah, but I mean on all the
good week you know, preparing,like you said, preparing for
camp and all that shenanigans.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
The shenanigans.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Right Only when we come back on to shenanigans.
I'm not looking forward to theheat.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to the heat, but I am
looking forward Like I likechecking out new gyms.
So I am kind of looking forwardto seeing like Speaking of new
gyms.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
I might be looking for one, because after the
mother who stole my cup saidthat, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
No one stole your cup , dude.
What probably happened was isthat you left it at one of the
machines, and if it's a personthat's like I, you know usually.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
I would probably take it to the front.
They kept my cup.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Other times.
I mean, you know, I'm notadmitting to anything, but some
people throw your stuff in thetrash.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I will say this.
I will say this.
So, after I realized my cup wasmissing, I was already-.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
That's not how your day started wrong, though I was
already irritated.
Yeah, I was going to say yougot to start from the top.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
I was irritated from the top today.
Okay.
Started from the top.
First.
The dog got me dirty and Ididn't have no more workout
clothes.
This is my life.
I said God damn it.
Then the gym was crowded.
It took me literally 40 minutesto get through three movements.
I said look here.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
It's not where you wanted to be.
School needs to be back in ASAP.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Because I don't know where, and I think I texted
y'all and said we are nevercoming at this time again.
This is ridiculous.
I said, if I got to go off, onehour of sleep.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
But at like 1045, 11 o'clock clears out.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
That's what I told you.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
You either get there at like 7 or 8, or you get there
at 11.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
And that's what I'm telling you If we can't be there
at 7, we'll be waiting until 11.
Yeah, because I'm not doingthat today, that's fine what I
did today.
I'm not doing that again.
I I'm not doing that again.
I prefer to get there early.
Now, when I was going early my4.30, 5 am crew we understood
each other, okay, we knew thatwe had jobs to get to and we was
out of.

Speaker 1 (09:32):
You can still go at that time, and we was out of
each other's way.
You can still go at that time.
But this new, these new news.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
I don't know you can still go.
At that time I almost Wentlooking for the LA Fitness guy
that was trying to give me freeseven days.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
I mean, you do have a free seven days there, and his
selling point was it's not asbusy over there Not anymore.
We like, we know.
That's why y'all giving usseven day passes.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Right.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
We understand.
That's why you're giving usseven day passes.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
What we got today Blue Skies.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
We have a reaction to a clip that I came across.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Are you playing the clip?

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Okay, well, we're going to need you to connect,
we're going to play the clip.
You can play the clip here.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Okay, let's see.
Yeah, so it's a I mean and it'ssomething that we have like hit
on before, as far as when itcomes to relationships and
social media, especially likemarriages and, more importantly,

(10:34):
men liking other women's shit.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Does it matter who it is?
What do you mean?
No, I'm just saying that.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Goodbye, doesn't, matter who it is.
I can't like my sister'spropose.
Is she a girl?

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I'm just saying that Goodbye.
Doesn't matter who it is.
I can't let my sisters proposeIs she a?

Speaker 1 (10:51):
girl yeah, no, okay, damn, I played myself.
I'm teasing, but it's one ofthose things that keep coming up
.
I feel like, no matter howoften it's talked about, it's
still something that keepscoming up.
Everybody still has an opinionabout it.
Everybody still wants to puttheir two cents in on everybody.
It's still a thing like, nomatter how many times it's

(11:11):
talked about, it's still a thingin relationship and in marriage
.
I, I mean, I'll let you knowwhat my views are on them, on it
but I do think that there aredifferent rules.
You know, I won't say likedrastically different rules, but
I, I personally feel, won't saylike drastically different
rules, but I personally feel, asthough, that there are
different rules when it comes toBefore we get too deep in this
episode.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
is this an episode where you finish trying to tell
me about myself?
We ain't had one of those in along time.
What are you talking about?
You know because every now andagain you come up with a topic
because you, that is all in yourhead.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Okay, no, it's not.
Yeah, it is.
Go check the comments.
I'll check the comments.
People don't live with you on adaily basis, so the comments
mean nothing to me.
They don't know what you arelike on a daily basis.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
You know what Play the clip Roll the clip, so they
can say what they want.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
Roll the clip.
The number one question thatyou want to talk about Should
your partner be liking otherwomen's posts on IG?

Speaker 3 (12:06):
No, I don't think they should.
I don't think that you shouldbe liking, like you said.
Oh so I can't like my friends,but 90% of the women, 99% of the
women you follow are not yourfriends.
On Instagram Like it's, it'slike because of and this is what
she said, and this is like sofactual that men don't get it.
When you do that, when your manlikes this girl's picture not

(12:34):
you personally, joe Schmo likesher picture that woman then
because I'm a woman and we knowhow women are are then thinking
to themselves is he happy?
Why is he liking my picture?
And then you're going to shareit with your friend.
Hey, look, guess who just likedmy picture?
But he's married.
What do you think about theirmarriage?
And then, like you said, allthis little talk goes on behind
the scenes just because youliked a picture.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
This is how crazy women are the number one that
now that part was funny.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
He was like this is how crazy women are.
That's crazy, why that is?
Explain to me why you thinkthat's crazy.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
That's crazy.
Explain to me why you thinkthat's crazy.
Essentially, what I got fromthe clip is he's saying that
don't do it from a vanity pointof view.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Don't do what Like pictures.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Like photos and videos.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Because what could be perceived by another individual
?
That's wild to me what do youmean?

Speaker 1 (13:26):
like like explain that into further detail for me,
for instance, let's say I likesomeone's picture.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Okay, right, and obviously the whole world knows
I'm married because all I do istalk about your ass right.
So if I like someone's picture,she's going to assume that
we're not happy because I liketheir picture she.
So now she's going to go talkto her friends and girl.
They must not be happy overthere she.
She must be doing somethingwrong because he's out here
looking at other women.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
That's not crazy at all, that is.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Do I not have eyes.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Let me ask you a question.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Let me ask you Do I have eyes, can I?

Speaker 1 (13:57):
ask you a question.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
You can ask all the questions I want or you want.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Let's say, I'll just use the gym for an and you and I
are working out together, Okay,and there are really attractive
men constantly passing by, Okay, Okay, how comfortable would
you be with me constantlytelling you how attractive like

(14:24):
they are as they pass by, Ifwe're working out together and
we're like talking, we're havinga conversation, and he walks by
and I go oh, I like him babe.

Speaker 3 (14:33):
He's handsome, and then?

Speaker 1 (14:34):
we talking and we working out.
I'm like, oh babe, you see whathe wore.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
You see what he got on.
You're equating that to a like.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
But listen.
But here's the thing.
The reason why you're not isbecause you're sitting behind a
keyboard, ok, but you also haveto think about when you are,
when you hit that like button.
What makes you hit a likebutton in general and I'm not
now, I'm like in general, noteven just saying if you see a
beautiful woman what causes youto be like?

(15:02):
Okay, you can look at stuff allday.
I can look at stuff all day andjust scroll without ever liking
anything.
And think about how often youscroll without liking something
right.
All the time.
So what is it about your brainand about what you're seeing
that's being reflected to youthat made you go that extra step
to like it?
So if you don't think, about itthat deep.

(15:25):
You don't think about it thatdeep because it does go a little
deeper.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Can I ask her a question?
Go ahead, the one thing I will.
First of all, I don't like much, okay.
So you got to really be doingsome stuff, or you got to make
me.
If you make me laugh, you get alike Okay, I don't care what
the reason is Okay, but nowwe're talking about women's
photos and videos and stuff.
Yeah, but you don't, but here's, but here's the thing.
But you can tell that I watchthem because obviously because

(15:51):
it's being because, it's showing.
Yes, so I might.
I might not like it, but I sitthere and watch the whole okay
video, or I watched it longenough for the other one to
think, oh, he is he likes, helikes this, right, but okay, so
well for you personally.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
okay, what is making you not hit like?
Is it because you think it's aninappropriate thing to do?
Because you're a married man?
Do you think no?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
that's just me being petty.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
What do you no?

Speaker 2 (16:17):
It really is.
No, I only like when it comesto social media.
Like I said, if you make melaugh, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Okay, what if she half naked and still making you
laugh?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
You gonna give her a like oh no, half naked and still
making you laugh, you gonnagive?

Speaker 1 (16:29):
her a like oh no, but she has naked.
No, no, okay, but why so?
What part of you won't like awoman that you are clearly
looking at that you find veryattractive, like she posted a
typical ig photo and you look atit and you're a man, right, no
one holds that against you.
But you look at it and you likedamn, you know she look good,
but you don't hit like why doyou not hit like?

Speaker 2 (16:49):
because instagram will tell my friends I like it.
They snitching on me and who'sone of your friends because you,
of course, because there's been, there's been, there's been
instances where there's beenreels I liked and no look here
there's been reels I've likedbecause I thought they were
funny and there's been a women.

(17:09):
It was funny because I thoughtthey were funny and there's been
a women it was funny like, and.
But then of course it comesacross my sister's timeline and
she then she'll screenshot me.
It's like oh, I'm telling onyour ass what you doing.
I said did you watch the video?
Did you look at the context?

Speaker 1 (17:22):
of the video?

Speaker 2 (17:23):
no, no, because my sister-in-law have my back so I
do it to avoid the stress ofHaving to explain why you hit
the like button On the Ask NakedWoman video.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
But you know I watch them, I know you watch them.
I've watched them with you,that part, I know you watch them
, especially the ones we talkabout when?

Speaker 2 (17:44):
they be thinking they be eating and they don't.
This ain't it?

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Okay, but.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
But hold on, it's like you know.
So, like a homegirl I don'tknow her name, but homegirl
who's on her weight loss journeyand she say, like those things
about the gym every day, um,like, like she has said, the one
with the clapbacks not.
Oh, I like, she's my favorite.
I like all the two, the two,the two, the clapbacks.
I like all this stuff becausethey be dying laughing.

(18:13):
I follow, I follow cranny.
I don't like.
I don't like none of crannystuff.
But if it's cranny and spoletogether, you'll like it.
I like it.
Yeah, right, um, but the girlis I don't know what, but she
was like there's no, if yourback is big, you don't get a
rest day.
Not tony, fine, but she's like,she's kind of like a version of
tony.
But I like all her videosbecause literally I every time I

(18:34):
see one of her videos, it makesme laugh and they're like let
me, let me go a little hardertoday, because I don't deserve a
rest okay, but that's different, but it's like I'm saying.
But to your point, if, if you'retalking about just liking, like
just random, I don't just sayinstagram models, instagram
baddies have, because that'sthat's pretty much what they are

(18:55):
referring to the.
The thing about that is that Idon't follow any of those people
, so only time I see that iswhen I'm either going down my
explore page or something's beensent to me.
I don't follow.
I only really follow um oninstagram.
I mostly follow people I knowor people I'm connected through.
Either through this I don'tfollow.
I only really follow onInstagram.
I mostly follow people I knowor people I'm connected through,
either through this podcast ormy other podcast.

Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
So that's not really a thing, but that's me, and I
understand that I'm not mostguys.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Right, I know guys that follow me, but we also now
know why you don't like thepictures.
Yeah, I don't, because youdon't want me to be like why you
like 25 fiction.
Now listen, 10 is my cap.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
You didn't like 25 hoes today, and I don't
appreciate it.
First of all, I don't have timeto go down like hoes because
I'll be on our page most of theday.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Okay.
So, yes, that's fine and, dandy, that that's not you, that's
not me, so let me hear yourthoughts on, be honest, ok, what
are your thoughts on men likingthose types of photos?

Speaker 2 (19:57):
I don't see that on social media.
I personally don't see thatHold on.
Hold on Me personally.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Also knowing Right that it could have some type of
impact.
Now, do you feel that way forboth married men and men that
are just in relationship,non-married men?
Do you feel that way that youdon't care?

Speaker 2 (20:20):
My stance is the same .
Me personally, I don't care.
You don't think it's a problem.
I don't think it should be aproblem as long as, like I
always say, there's a line ineverything.
As long as they're not crossingthe line, as long as they're
not direct communication, mm-hmmNow.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
But that could be a starting line.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
That could be a no no .
Yeah, I can Okay Go ahead, butas long as they're not crossing
up, that's too much.
That's okay, but here's thething you said when the line is
crossed.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Now you saying the line starts at commenting yeah,
and I'm telling you, the startof the line starts at liking no,
I don't think it.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I don't.
I don't think the start of theline starts at liking, because
it's just like you said withyour reference right, I can see
a young lady in the gym and belike, oh she's, she's attractive
and I and I can like how shephysically looks.
Yeah, I'm not going to go overthere and talk to her and say,
hey, you look good today, that'sfine, but if we were working
out together, okay and 25 womenpassed by.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
I, I, I know that you have eyes.
I see that she's a beautifulgirl, I see she in the gym and
she's a gym.
But I wouldn't appreciate youtelling me 25 times of each
woman that you like.
But but that's what.
That's the point that I'mmaking, deville, that is the
point.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
But me liking her picture is not telling you.
You wouldn't know unless you,unless you left Instagram and
snitching on me.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Okay, but, like you said, you just said the reason
why you don't like it, so Idon't want to get snitched on.
Exactly, but that's for my, butthat's for my, exactly.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
But, baby, listen to what you're saying.
But that's for my dynamic, okay, that's for my relationship.
Okay, I get it, because I don'twant the problem of my wife
Because we've had times in thepast where you have expressed
how you felt about me liking andengaging.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
So were you commenting.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
No, because we never had a conversation about you
commenting.
No, no, I and uh so were youcommenting because we never had
a conversation about youcommenting oh, I was like now
you telling stuff for yourself,like, like like uh, I was
referring back to my, my face,where I was like where, like zoe
zeldana was like my thing.
Okay, yes, I remember that andshe was on my, she was your
screensaver every.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I never said anything about that you didn't, you did
no, I did you did.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
You told me you didn't appreciate it.
You thought it was a littledisrespectful.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
And I changed it.
I don't remember that, but okay.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
So I'm saying the way I move is that I move according
to what you said.
Your boundaries are Okay, sothat's why I don't do it Okay
and that's why I'm saying like Idon't feel like it's a big deal
.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
You said it should be a big deal.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
I don't feel like it should be a big deal or is a big
deal, but obviously it is toyou.
So, out of respect to you, Idon't do that.
Okay, even like my, even likeDes.
Like, I don't even like Des'pictures and I'm on a podcast
with Des, so if it's on apodcast picture, I don't even
like that.
I may comment something funnyyeah, right, but you don't see a

(23:12):
like?
Yes, unless she's actuallytalking about the podcast.
Now, if it's like a personallike, like a personal thing,
where it's like it's just like aselfie or whatever, I don't, I
don't like this stuff, I don't.
I just I let her get her littlefive seconds so it helps push
her in the throwaway, right,yeah, but that's because I know
how.
I know what my wife hascommunicated to me of what she's

(23:32):
comfortable with.
Now, do I necessarily agreewith your stance?
No, but also at the same time,it's not something for me to I'm
not finna go to war over likingsome random broad's post On
social media, Because it ain'tthat serious Right.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Because one thing social media has told me it's
not real.
It's a hundred thousand of themand it ain't real.
Yeah, yeah, agreed, so it's not.
I think I think, listen, okayfor me personally if it's, if
it's one thing where you'rescrolling on social media and
it's like an every now and thenkind of thing, like you come
across a beautiful woman orsomething or a video you know

(24:12):
and you like it.
Okay.
If it's something where it's thesame every time yeah well, the
same chick, the same type ofchick, the same type of content,
I know but I'm saying the sametype of content, like if I could
see hold on.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Hold on now.
Hold on, now, hold on, hold on,because if you see my work page
, your what my explore page?
Okay, like my explore page, itis nothing but chocolate.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Oh I know, I know it be giving.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
I can't with you.
So Instagram plenty knows whatI like.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
Of course, because that's what you've been looking
at.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
But at the same time I only get those when I hit the
real button, Like if I strode inmy normal page.
It's just people I follow and Idon't follow in those people,
so I don't see, I get that babeRight, that you've made that

(25:13):
point clear.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
However, however, we are talking on like a grander,
yeah, like a broader.
A broader, do you think?
Do you, do you not?
Okay, let me ask it this way doyou not think that it is not
valid for some women to feel asense of um insecurity, compare
a comparison or a digitaldisrespect, to have your husband
in social media world liking abunch of other women's videos or

(25:35):
following a bunch of a ton ofother women's uh pages, liking,
commenting, uh, possibly dming,like, oh, that was a great photo
or that was.
Do you think that isappropriate behavior?
I don't.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
I don't Okay.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
And do you think that there is not a some form like
is it not valid for a woman tofeel compared, comparison,
disrespect for her husband, like, like her husband behaving that
way on social media?

Speaker 2 (26:03):
This is, this is, this is not, this is not a a a
hard line, yes or no type ofquestion, because again, again,
you always come to me with thesequestions with so much, with so
much gray area, so much nuancewhere it wasn't great, though
that's it's not an easy yes orno, because there's there's
other dynamics that need to bein other, there's other contexts
that need it like if it's notbusiness related even if I'm

(26:26):
talking about.
I'm talking about in the, in, inthe, in the shape of the actual
relationship you're in, whetherit be the marriage or relation,
right, okay, are you withsomeone who's insecure, right?
Are you with someone who has,um, this is uh, security issues,
some person who are you withsomeone who actually is against
that type of interaction?

(26:46):
right a lot of times, that's howyou met that person.
They might feel that they don'twant you doing stuff like that,
right?
So there's more than just is itright or is it wrong For me
personally.
Okay, now, I don't agree withDMing people.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
I think that's like text messaging what you touch
other people for To tell herthat I really enjoyed the
content that she posted today.
I don't think that'sappropriate.
The content was great.
I don't think that'sappropriate.
Why For me?

Speaker 2 (27:10):
personally, because now you're engaging in
conversation.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Are you not engaging with commenting too?

Speaker 2 (27:16):
It depends on what the comment is.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Is it the point of social media engagement?

Speaker 2 (27:22):
It is Okay, it is.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
But I'm saying when you're engaging in direct
conversation.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Oh, okay, like one-on-one.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
Right In the comment section, everybody can see that.
Okay, that's not a secret,uh-huh, you know what I'm saying
.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
DMing is a secret.
It is, it could be yeah.
It is Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
That's a secret.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
So that's not, I don't do it.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
I mean, you have, you have?
I would hope not.
I don't keep tabs on you, so Iwould hope not but you have my
phone in your hand often.
And I do not go through yourDMs.
I don't go through, they'regoing to be dry.
I don't go through your socialmedia they dry.
I don't have time for thatSierra desert.

(28:02):
Or the desire to do it.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
Right, I got that.
But what I'm saying is is thatI feel, personally, that it
depends on the relationship thatyou are in.
Okay, like I said at the top ofthe episode, I don't think that
liking someone's post is a signof disrespect or a sign Right.
And when you talk about thecomparison, right when I say

(28:26):
like so, if I'm likingso-and-so's picture, and now
because I'm with you and youlook nothing like so-and-so or
so-and-so is more enhanced inone area or not, now you're
comparing that to me.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
That's a me problem.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
It is your problem, because if I'm constantly
telling you that I love who youare, I'm happy with you, but now
you're because I like thispicture.
Now you must think, oh, he mustnot like me because he likes
this, but is that?
Is that crazy to think Ibelieve it is you do I?
I think that I do think that alot of times that some women try

(29:00):
to try to pull things out ofthin air just just to cause a
problem, because I, I can alwayssay a lot of times, I don't
really, I, I personally believethat women don't understand the
extent personality will take you, because a personality in the

(29:22):
long run will outweigh looks.
Oh yeah, absolutely for mostmen, okay, for most men.
That's why some men will lookat some girls like, oh they, oh,
they've been looking at her alot of times she got a fire
personality or she got somethingelse.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
That's fire she's doing something Well, I mean
that part I can understand,because I think that happens for
women too.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
But knowing that, why are you now comparing yourself?
Because, right, so I understandthat, hey, I'm not the.
I don't know either.
I don't believe I look bad,right, I don't think I'm the
best.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
I ain't prince, right , really, that white, that was a
strong right well, because Ijust want to take you back to
your what your own words, oncebefore too which was what.
No, which was when.
When we talk about, like, forinstance, when we have the
conversation of the type of menthat I'm attracted to you always

(30:19):
, you always say you're like, Ilook nothing like the man you're
attracted to.
I knew you don't really like me.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
That was me joking, but I got you, I have you, I
know you do.
It's just like today, forinstance, right Like you said,
the gentlemen that were talkingto you in the gym.
I wasn't jealous at all Because, guess what?

Speaker 1 (30:41):
She's going to be on my face later.
You think I care about that.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Oh my gosh, she finna bust it open for me.
Talk away, sir, that don'tbother me at all.
I'm not.
I'm not a jealous type.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
Yeah, I'm okay.
But back to what you said aboutit.
Depends on what type ofrelationship you're in if you're
in a relationship where it'sgoing to be a problem okay, but
what if it's not even a person,a person who, a woman who's
jealous?
It just makes her uncomfortable.
Because I see that you'reliking all of these women that
look nothing like me.
They're like, but why is ithold on just like how you said?

(31:18):
Why is it so hard to believefor men to be like I'm with you,
but I also like these videos.
Why is it hard for you tobelieve that that could create
some type of comparison, emotionor a level of disrespect in a
woman for a man behaving thatway on social media.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Do you like tart yogurt, just plain tart, you
like plain?

Speaker 1 (31:42):
tart, I do like plain time do you like mango tart?

Speaker 2 (31:45):
sure, do you think the mango tarts jealous of the
plain tart reese, that doesn'teven make sense.
Do you think the mango tartjealous of the strawberry?
Uh, whatever tart you got todayreese?

Speaker 1 (31:58):
those are not.
Those are people with emotions.
But what I'm?

Speaker 2 (32:02):
saying is.
What I'm saying is is that youyourself like tart and you like
different variations of tart,but it does not diminish the
fact that you like plain tartand mango tart because the
strawberry tart came around.
It doesn't diminish that.
It doesn't diminish the factthat you like pistachios.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Right.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
So you try to say.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
you try to say because, like, I'm with you and
you're a woman, but that doesn'tmean that I'm not going to like
other flavors of women.
No, that means, that's what itsounds like.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
What that means is that I'm with you, I like you, I
love you, but that doesn't.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be attracted
to other women.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
That doesn't mean that I'm not going to see
another attractive woman and cansay, oh, she's attractive.

Speaker 1 (32:44):
Obviously.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
But, we're me.
The action of liking a pictureis not big for me.
For you, for me For you, but Idon't do it because it's a big
thing for you.
Okay, right, but what I'msaying is in the general sense
is that for me it's not reallyan issue, unless I'm trying to

(33:08):
now actively pursue the otherthing I'm attracted.
Well, not, I think, the otherperson I'm attracted to.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Okay but that's why I said we're talking about past
you past you now, what you justsaid, unless you're actively
trying to pursue past that.
That's why I said liking couldbe a starting point instead of
commenting being a startingpoint.
Right, it's like I said beforeit is one thing to just like,
you know, random pictures,whatever you see every once in a

(33:37):
while.
But when you think about howpeople utilize social media and
how we all go down scroll holes,if you're sitting on Instagram
for an hour and you're scrollingand the only thing you're
looking at is a bunch ofhalf-naked women or the women of
your fantasies or whatever, andnone of these women resemble
your girlfriend or your wife,and you've liked over 50, 50

(34:01):
pictures and videos and you'vecommented on some of these um
pictures and videos, where doyou think that is coming from?
What do you?
Because here's this one.
No, no, no, hold on, becausethis is this, is this is my
question hold on.
This is my next question.
Now.
Let's say you sit there and youscroll for an hour.
You've liked 50 videos andpictures.

(34:23):
You've commented on several ofthese videos that's crazy and
she dms.
You don't respond.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
No because that's two different things.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
But no, but do you see, do you you're?
I think you're missing, I thinkyou're missing the point, or
I'm not explaining, you're right, because I don't think you
understand, I think, how this,that's how things start, I think
, I think, I think I thinkyou're trying to explain what
similar what she was trying tosay in the picture by me liking
these videos.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I'm now inviting the attention to me, if she brings
attention to me.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
But in your mind you're not initiating or
engaging at all, I'm just likingthe picture.
You're just liking the picture.
But if you're liking and thenyou comment and then somebody
shoots somebody a DM and thenit's still all innocent.
Hold on, it's still allinnocent.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
It's still all innocent.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
If I go to work and me and my male co-worker- at all
innocent If I go to work and meand my male co-worker.
We work at the steel mill andwe work together and we go to
lunch.
It's just lunch, but we go tolunch four days a week.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
That's not just lunch .

Speaker 1 (35:28):
How is?

Speaker 2 (35:28):
it not just lunch.
We work at the same place, wework the same shift.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
We both have to eat lunch and we just so happen to
do it together.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Because the environment matters.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
The environment matters.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
Because if it's just you and him going to lunch,
you're now in an intimatesetting with him.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
And that intimate setting.
How is that intimate?

Speaker 1 (35:48):
How is it intimate, because it's just you two.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
We go to lunch in a public place, but it's just you
two in a public place At a table.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Are you with 20 other people, sometimes, sometimes
that you all know, sometimes andsometimes or not, okay, but do.
But do you see the point of?

Speaker 2 (36:05):
that's how things can get started.
That's the point that I'mmaking.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
I see the point, like I said, you're, you're
basically double down on whatshe's saying I'm not trying to
double down, I'm just saying Ithink it's crazy that you can't
see it from the femaleperspective of how that can make
someone, even if a woman isn'tinsecure, and I think, and I
think that's absurd too for youto say that by uh, that that
must play on some type ofinsecurity on a woman?

Speaker 2 (36:29):
I don't see I don't.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
I don't agree with that personally okay, let me say
this.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Let me say this I see what you're trying to say.
I don't necessarily believewhat you're trying to say from
my male brain, right?
What's so?

Speaker 1 (36:47):
and go ahead.
What no?
Females and males thinkdifferently.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
It's fine and I see what you're saying about how,
like she couldn't feel some typeof way or whatever the case may
be.
Right, because like I don't, Idon't see.
I don't deem you to be thejealous type at all, I'm not At
all.
Yeah, but you also are notafraid to let somebody know that
I ain't that damn funny.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Goodbye.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
You also have said on numerous times he't gonna save
you, boo, boo because that nowthat goes back to when you've
also told him.
You've also said that once I,once, once I'm done, he ain't
gonna have nothing left for youanyway, I'm gonna make sure he
ain't gonna be shit for you.
So I promise that goes to thepoint to now.
That goes to wow, whether youbelieve it or not, that I would

(37:35):
step out on you, which I don'tbelieve you believe I would do
that, because if you do, thenI'm doing something wrong.
Yeah, you still will be.
Let it be made known that, hey,this is not to be messed with
because he's mine right so so it.
So that's what I'm saying, thetalking points that she was
saying, that's all.
That's all a territorial thing,which I understand, because men

(37:58):
do the same thing it's aterritorial thing exactly but as
my male brain because again,maybe people have different
tastes on social media, I do mymale brain will say it's just a
picture, I don't really careabout it I would have.
My issue is when, now thecomedy right, and now that
you're commenting back and forth, it's just not a comedy just,
and now you're commenting backand forth, it's just not a

(38:19):
comedy.
Just sitting there, now you'recommenting back and forth.
That's where I started havingthe issue.
Now I'm like what's going on?
Because now at that point right, because when you're liking the
picture, you're just letting itbe known that, hey, you're
liking what you're seeing.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Right.
When you start commenting backand forth and DMing, now you're
cultivating a relationship.
That's where I draw the line.
I'm not cultivating arelationship by hitting the like
button, I'm just saying yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
So you remember how, when she talked about how the
girl who sees that you liked herphoto and she knows that you're
a married man and now she cango back to her friend and make
assumptions about what's goingon in your relationship, you
know how some men like to try topounce on married women because
it's a challenge.
Women do the same exact thingand there are women, okay, who

(39:08):
will be.
Some could be jealous of whatthey think you have and some
women could play it like it's agame where you think, oh, you
think you think he faithful toyou, oh, you think you know you
got it like that.
Let me, let me show you becausehe likes all my photos and I
promise you, if I respond to oneof his comments or if I shoot
him a DM, I got your nigga.

(39:28):
No like but because that's how,because that's how women can be.
So when you say, when you saythat and you speak about the
territorial thing and then shetalks about, like, how, when the
girl sees that the married manliked her photos, that can
become a challenge for her.
So, again, like when you say,liking is just, it's just
nothing.
But if I see this guy whoconstantly has gone down my page

(39:51):
and he has liked multiplevideos, multiple photos, right,
and I go to click on his nameand I go to his page and I see
that, oh, okay, like you know,he's, he's got this or he's got
a girlfriend, he's got a wife,but you over here liking all of
my photos, I bet you, if I senthis ass a dm he would respond to
me.

(40:12):
But all that started with youliking all of her photos.
Okay, all of that started withyou liking her photos, like, but
here's the thing, hold on,here's the thing.
I understand what.
I understand what you're saying.
I get what you're saying.
You're saying liking a photo isjust liking a photo.
Right, and that's okay, becauseyou're thinking with, like your

(40:32):
brain, liking a photo is justliking a photo.
But not every man has the sameintentions.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Okay, then that's a whole different conversation.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
But that's why I said we're talking past you, okay.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
No I said that.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
That's why, when you keep bringing it back and saying
, but me personally everyone'snot like you.
Most men, to the broader, theones that are liking all of
these things obviously are notthinking the same way you're
thinking.
So for most women, they'rethinking about what is the
intentions.
So it's not crazy to think thatshe could feel disrespected,

(41:15):
that she could feel like she'sbeing compared.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
That's not crazy to think.
So let me ask you this have youever felt like I was comparing
you to any woman's video pictureI liked?

Speaker 1 (41:26):
I never, personally no.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
No, but that's why I'm telling you, it's not like
it's crazy for me to think thatyou don't feel like I was
comparing you to Maya.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
No.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Or Janae.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
Why would I think you're comparing me to Maya or
Janae?
Oh no, why would I think that?
Like, I don't think that, butbut or Jill Scott.
We're talking on a broader, abroader spectrum.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
But see now when.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
A broader spectrum.
See my, and we see people whohad affairs on social media Like
it's not a foreign thing thatpeople hook up.

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Affairs on social media.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
It's not a foreign thing.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
That people hook up.
Oh, they meet up, they hook upOkay.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
Through social media, and it all started with a like.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Okay, okay, here we go.
Well, I mean, you know whathappened recently with the
influencer and her boyfriend orher husband.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Okay, and guess what?
I bet you.
It started with him likingcontent.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
No, it started with him egging on her husband.
There are a whole differentthing.
But now that you introduced theconcept or the notion of
intentions, right, that'sdifferent.
Oh my gosh, because if you'redoing this, if you're liking
these with the intention ofgetting attention, that's

(42:43):
different.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
Men being drawn to things that are physically or
sexually stimulant, stimulating.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
So you think men solely like things because they
want the attention of that thing?

Speaker 1 (42:59):
because they want the what attention of it babe,
we're talking about somethinglike very in particular, it's
not just random things, okay,I'm talking about so you think,
basically like so you think theaverage man likes a picture
because he wants the attentionof that person that he likes a
picture like maybe in some wayshape or form okay, and so I
mean that's fine, you candisagree I'm you're like, maybe
in some way, shape or form okayin some way I mean, that's fine,

(43:19):
you can disagree.
I'm just saying like I disagreeI mean, you know that that could
I could very much be wrong.
I could very much be wrong, butif you're sitting there and
from from your own, from yourown words, you tell me, like how
men can think about sex everysix seconds and then you're
constantly, and then you'reconstantly looking at 47 times

(43:41):
this one okay, and you'reconstantly looking at images
that stimulate that part of yourbrain.
Okay, and then you're constantlyengaging with that type of
content okay there's anintention somewhere behind it,
whether you're conscious aboutit or not so because if you're,
especially if you comment on it,if you like it and comment on

(44:05):
it, and then you get a responsefrom it, you're just gonna be
like, oh no, I didn't intend forthat to happen, let me just,
let me, let me scroll, let meswipe, swipe across from that,
because I didn't first of allcome on again.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
See, it's hard to be having this conversation because
I always refer back to myselfbut don't do that because I
don't talk about.
I don't.
I don't like to speak for menin general, I like to speak for
me.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
So I mean, it's just your opinion.
Everyone has one like anasshole and your notion, have I
so?
Let's just be honest about it.

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Have I seen a beautiful one?
But oh my like she is gorgeous.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
I know you have.
I've done the same.
I've seen men and I'm like damnLike have I not said?

Speaker 2 (44:43):
had I not said, given the right circumstance.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Listen, we've had this conversation millions of
times.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
So do I think I'm wrong for thinking that?
No, I think I'm just a man.
I'm wrong if I act on that.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
You're wrong if you do what.
Act on that Okay, and I don'tbelieve that life is a picture.
If it's acting on that, Ididn't say anything.
That's just what I just did.
I didn't say anything.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Okay, but this is like.
This is so you, this is so you,this is so what is so me.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
This is just having this.
I just wanted your reaction tothe video.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
This really just has to be like.
I think it's crazy, like theway you guys come to these
conclusions is why I can listenI can see how you guys can view
it.
That way, I can hold on I'm notsaying that it's not completely
un.
It's not a completelyunjustified view on the topic

(45:48):
because you have some men whowill purposely do that.
You have some men who will tryto make a let it be known that,
hey, you ain't her, and if youwant to be in her spot, you have
some people that way.
But I believe that the majorityof men are not like that.
But the problem is is that wetake a small minute part of the

(46:08):
population and try to applytheir actions to everyone in
their group, and that's not fairokay, so it takes me back to my
original question, because Ican't think it's appropriate?

Speaker 1 (46:19):
as a married man, as a married man, as a married man,
do you think it's appropriate?
You said, you said it doesn'tmatter if you're married or
dating.
So but now that we've had alittle bit of dialogue and then
I've introduced intention andstuff.
Do you think that it isappropriate for a married man to
be on social media likingInstagram baddies, following

(46:43):
Instagram baddie pages,commenting on Instagram baddie
content?

Speaker 2 (46:47):
Okay, do you think that's appropriate behavior?

Speaker 1 (46:50):
regardless if he has an insecure wife or not.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
And my answer to that would be the same it depends on
his dynamic.
Okay, you're trying to splitthe baby.
You're not answering on.
Okay, you're trying to splitthe baby.
You're not answering thequestion.
I'm not trying to split thebaby, you are.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
In my relationship.
Okay, in a broad view, yes orno?
Yes or no?

Speaker 2 (47:06):
Is it okay?

Speaker 1 (47:07):
Is it okay?

Speaker 3 (47:07):
Do you think?

Speaker 1 (47:08):
it's okay.
Do you think it's appropriatebehavior as a married man To
follow To, to be engaging insocial, to be engaging on social
media with that type of contentand those type of women?
Yes or no?
I?

Speaker 2 (47:21):
don't think there's a problem with that.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
You don't think that's a problem.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
If you're just looking at the account, I don't
think there's a problem.
Babe, we literally just saidliking, possibly commenting.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Do you think that's appropriate behavior?
Yes, do you think that'sappropriate behavior, yes or no?
Commenting is not appropriate,but you're trying to like
babysuit half of the populationinstead of just like.
I'm not trying.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
I'm telling you what I believe.
Like I said from the beginning,I don't see liking as a problem
.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
Okay, so you think that's, oh, you think that is
acceptable behavior as a marriedmale for a married man to be
engaging in social media?

Speaker 2 (48:01):
that way if if you're consistently liking one person.

Speaker 1 (48:06):
What's the point if you're still like no, how's that
different?
It's different, babe, it'sdifferent you're just liking the
photo though listen, listen,listen, listen.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
that's different to me, because now we're not
talking about you liking a type,we're talking about you liking
an individual.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
Okay.
So what if you follow 50 ofthose pages?
That's wild.
What if you follow 50 of thosepages and you like various
photos from all 50 pages?
That's not just one page.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
Are those pages that are?
They're all the same.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
They're all the same types of pages.
Types of pages are the sameperson.
Maurice.
See, that's different she ain'tgot 50 damn accounts, so
they're all the same type.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
But there are those accounts that just post pictures
of random women.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Maurice, maurice, stop it.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
All right.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Because, you're really trying, I'm not're,
you're really trying, you'rereally, you're really trying
you're gonna sit here and sayit's not okay to like the same
person's page multiple times,but it's okay to like the same
type of content with the sametype of girl multiple times it's
different but but then to saythat the likes don't matter and

(49:17):
like is the like, it doesn'tmatter if I'm on, if I'm on her
page, and you go through and youscroll and you like 10 of her
photos.
You're saying liking 10 of herphotos is not okay, but being a
follower of multiple accountsthat are just like hers and then
having multiple likes of thosesame types of accounts is okay.
Make that make make sense.
Make that make sense, because Isee where you're trying to go

(49:40):
with it, but it's still that.
But a like is a like.
You just said a like is a like.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
It's not okay babe.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
No, I'm trying to.
I'm trying to really understandwhat you're saying.
You just said right that ifyou're liking multiple photos
from one account, you said thatis acceptable or unacceptable.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
It's just hard for me to try to validate.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
What are you trying to validate?
There's no validations.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
Can I finish what I'm going to say?
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
It's hard for me to try to validate a made up space
and equate that to real life.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
But no one's asking you to do that.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
But you're associating the likes and the
comments to real life.
Okay, because I'm just tryingto get you to make it clear to
me for better understanding,what the difference is having
one account, that's an Instagrambaddie account, and liking five
of her photos or ten of herphotos and then following this
and following, followingmultiple accounts that are just

(50:47):
like that one, and still likingthe same type of photos with
different girls in it.
I just want you, I just wantyou to try to break that down
for me there's no difference,babe no, no, you can't, you
don't.
Don't try to be like that.
Don't try to break that down.
For me, there's no difference,babe.
No, no, you can't.
Don't.
Try to be like that.
Don't try to be like that,because I'm asking you to
explain it.
And now what it feels like isthat you can't explain it.

(51:10):
So now you're just going to belike oh yeah, it's whatever you
say, babe.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
It's whatever you say , because you took what I said
and you're trying and you'rebecause you're taking what I,
what I'm saying, and you'retrying to mold it into something
that is not asking you toexplain what I said was okay, if
yes I didn't even say follow, Ijust said liking, because you
don't have to follow thesepeople to see them.
That is true.
If I I said if you are likingone particular post person's

(51:37):
post, okay, every time they post, okay, and you're making it be
known, that is potentially anissue, because now you're trying
to cultivate a relationship,possibly, with that person, okay
, right, if you just so happento have 20 different pages come
across and they all look similar, okay, but they're not the same
person.
Okay, that's not the same thing.

(51:59):
Okay, that's not the same thing.
That's not the same thing,because one is a singular person
.
Okay, so it's like it's, it's,it's, it's like drake 20 v1.
No, it's, it's, it's not thesame.
It's, it's not the same.
It's not the same.
What?

Speaker 1 (52:22):
It's not the same, it's not the same.
Okay, babe, to me, okay, it'sgoing to be one of those things
where it just makes sense inyour brain it does.
But I guess that explains to mewhy you can't fathom why some
women would feel some type ofway about it.
That just that makes sense.
Now I understand why women.
That makes sense.

Speaker 2 (52:43):
That makes sense.
Now I understand why women feelsome type of way about it
because women are territorial.
Okay, women are way moreterritorial than men are, mm-hmm
.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
You believe so?

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I know so.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
Okay, go ahead, we're done.
We're done with today.
We're done.
This has been another episodewhere she takes the time to tell
me what is and isn't.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Okay, I don't know what he's talking about.
Because this is the goal, Idon't know what he's talking
about what is and what isn'tokay I have no idea what you're
talking about, but okay, uh,we're gonna hop right on into
our two cents.
Good, good, uh, dialogue babe Idoubt it.

(53:31):
I doubt it he seems a littlesalty now.
I don't know why, but the onlything soft is the chips.
That's crazy.
Okay, here we go.
Am I the asshole for getting anew nurse fired for accusing me
of having an affair with myfather?
I'm a hospital social worker ata small hospital.
My dad is one of the ER dayshift charge nurses.

(53:52):
A few weeks ago, I was in theER trying to figure out
placement for an elderly patient.
When I was ago, I was in the ERtrying to figure out placement
for an elderly patient.
When I was leaving, I had achat with my dad in the hallway
Before I left.
He gave me a hug and told menot to be late for dinner.
I joked about how I'm going toorder the most expensive steak
on the menu, since it's his turnto pay.
I'm 27 and my dad is 51.

(54:13):
There was a new nurse at thenurse's station nearby.
Pretty much everyone knows thathe's my dad.
I hadn't spoken with this newnurse much, though, and she
didn't know that he was my dad.
Apparently, she thought my dadand I were having an affair.
Based off of what she heard andsaw, she knew my dad's married
to my mom, who brings him lunchsometimes she immediately began

(54:36):
gossiping to other staff membersthat my dad was having an
affair with the hospital socialworker, aka me.
One older nurse that I've knownfor a long time immediately
came to tell me.
I don't think that she likedthe new nurse very much.
Anyway, I guess no one decidedto tell her that he was my dad.
I hate gossipers.

(54:58):
I don't know what it is aboutnurses, but I swear to God, some
of them really love to justspread rumors.
I decided to not take it up withher and I just went straight to
HR.
We both were asked to come toHR after our shift was over,
along with my father.
Now the HR lady knew that hewas my father when the new nurse
came in.
She was asked to explain andshe said that she thinks it's

(55:21):
terrible that we would soblatantly have an affair and
that she was shocked because shethought my dad seemed like such
a nice guy.
My dad then decided to speak upand explain that I was his
child.
The new nurse was mortified andapologized profusely.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Too late.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
The HR lady asked me and my dad to leave.
They had a meeting with theunit manager and it was decided
that the new nurse would befired immediately because she
was still in her 90-dayprobationary period.
My mom thinks that I'm a jerkand that I should have brought
it up to the nurse instead ofbringing it to HR when I knew
that she was probably get fired.
I think my mom is alsosympathetic because she stalked

(56:00):
the woman's Facebook and she's asingle mom or whatever.
I think I was right to get herfired because the hospital
doesn't need a bunch of nursessitting on their asses gossiping
instead of doing their jobs.
My dad was embarrassed andfeels awkward about the whole
thing.
It's not the first time someonehad thought that I was dating
my dad.
We aren't weird or anything,but it happens anywho.

(56:21):
Am I the asshole?
no, this is hilarious playstupid games, get to it
surprises.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Yeah, look, look this is the definition of this is
one time you should have justkept your mouth shut and Stay in
your lane.
Stay in your lane, yep, yep.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Worry about yourself.
Fuck nigga, Shut up, stupid.
You over here worrying about me, but that's why that's also why
you shouldn't be gossiping atwork.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
And then you on a 90 day probation.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
You're not even off probation, you're not even off
probation, and you sit up hereand try to uh get friends by
gossiping and thinking youyou're not even off probation.
You got the audacity you don'teven know the ins and outs and
the workings of the place thatyou in yet, and then to just
assume because she looks youngerand he's right, and he's older
and first of all you don't knowhow long I've been here, how

(57:15):
long he's been here.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
You knew, you know nothing you ain't trying to know
homework or nothing, not at allstraight to you, didn't ask
another nurse.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
You like that was my thing.
You didn't even ask anothernurse because if all the other
nurses knew, somebody would havetold you girl, that's his
daughter girl, you just girl,you just you messy you're messy
and you deserve to get firedsorry.
Sorry, am I the asshole forputting a lock on my bedroom
door after my roommate'sboyfriend walked in on me
changing twice?

Speaker 2 (57:42):
I would have pressed charges.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
I'm a 22-year-old female and I live with two other
girls in a shared apartment.
One of them, maya, who's 23,has a boyfriend who is over
constantly.
He's fine, mostly quiet,respectful, but apparently does
not knock.
Last week he walked in on mechanging.
I was in a bra and underwear,facing the closet.
He apologized and quickly left,but it was so awkward.

(58:07):
Maya said oh my gosh, he's sodumb, sorry.
And that was it.
It happened again three dayslater.
I was literally topless.
I yelled at him and slammed thedoor.
This time Maya got defensiveand said well, maybe lock the
door next time.
So I did.

(58:28):
I went to Home Depot, I boughta cheap doorknob with the lock
key and installed it myself.
Now Maya is acting like I'mparanoid and quote unquote,
creating an unsafe vibe in ourapartment by acting like
someone's out to get me.
Our other roommate is neutralbut told me that she thinks Maya
is trying to save face and thatI should just talk it out.

(58:50):
But like am I seriouslyoverreacting?
Two times is enough, right?

Speaker 2 (58:55):
You're not overreacting at all.
You're not overreacting at allbecause the first time it
happened he should.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
He should have knocked the second time because
you know what happened the firsttime he liked what he saw
that's all it is.
He liked what he saw and if hedoesn't live there and it's an
apartment full of women, right?
You know, if there's a closeddoor, you should be knocking on
the door.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
That was my point I was to.
If you know you're in anapartment full of women, why are
you anywhere but the kitchen orliving room?

Speaker 1 (59:22):
And why are you walking into rooms without
knocking first and then why areyou walking into her room?

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Come on now.
I was born at night, not lastnight, not last night.
Come on, he liked what he sawand he wanted some of that.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
And then Maya, she too dumb to believe.
So dumb that her damn boyfriendIs doing this shit On purpose.
So dumb, and trying to make itseem Like her roommate Is crazy
Cause now she probably Thinkinghe don't want you, he's my
boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Bitch, all you gotta do Is walk up and say Hello,
it's me, it's me.
You ain't shit.

Speaker 1 (59:54):
I was wondering If I could meet them cheeks.
You liked me, he trying to getthem cheeks.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
He trying to get them cheeks.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Yeah, that's crazy work.
No, you're not the asshole Girl.
Find new roommates or Try tofind a new place.
I don't know, but he did thaton purpose.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
And.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
And if you, if you, messing up the vibe in the
apartment, then it's about timefor me to leave, or you, you and
him can go get a place.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
I mean he already saw the Tatas.
He's halfway there.
See everything else, Goodnessgracious.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
All right, guys.
This has been another episodeof the life after I do podcast.
If you're not doing so already,please go ahead and like, share
, comment, follow all of oursocial media platforms at Life
After I Do Podcast.
We're almost at 20k on TikTok,guys, so keep it coming, keep
the engagement going.
Like and follow us on Instagramand Facebook and YouTube.

(01:00:52):
You get a new episode everyWednesday, don't forget.
You can also write into thepodcast at lifeafteridopodcast
at gmailcom and, as always,we'll see you later.
Booze peace.
Booze geese peace.