King Treatment

Send us a text

What feels like real love after all these years together—big gestures or small, daily choices? We explore that question through our “King Treatment or Bare Minimum” check-in and talk honestly about what we’re getting right, where we miss each other, and how to keep showing up even in chaos.

We also tackle two listener stories: one about a boyfriend’s unrealistic move-in plan, and another about inheritance money in a blended family. These conversations get real fast—and bring out honest thoughts about partnership, boundaries, and protecting your peace.

Whether you’re dealing with cohabitation, parenting, stepfamily dynamics, or just trying to reset your love language, there’s something here for you.

Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_06 (00:00):
What you should be grateful.

SPEAKER_01 (00:01):
I didn't say I wasn't grateful.
It's just the way you said it.

SPEAKER_06 (00:03):
You should like you should be grateful.
You should.
A lot of times you're not.

SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
I'm helping you to become a better man.
Okay.
My job is to put you insituations where you have no
choice but to do better and bebetter.
So whenever you're feeling thatway, it's because you know your
wife is putting the pressure onyou to be a better man, to do
more, be better.
I got you got it.

(01:00):
Okay.
Somebody wants to practice theirlung capacity.

SPEAKER_06 (01:06):
You know.
Alright, guys.
This is gonna be a very shortepisode today because she's in
her practice.
She's in her feelings.
And uh I'm in my feelings?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17):
Wow.
You're in your feelings.
Trying to say I'm emotional?

SPEAKER_06 (01:20):
You very we every human being is emotional.

SPEAKER_01 (01:23):
Yeah, not every human being.

SPEAKER_06 (01:25):
Well, psychopath.

SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
Yeah, so not everyone's emotional, but you
know, so it could be worse.
Hi.

SPEAKER_06 (01:32):
How you doing?

SPEAKER_01 (01:33):
Fine.

SPEAKER_06 (01:34):
How was your week?

SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Great.

SPEAKER_06 (01:37):
All right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
How was your week?

SPEAKER_06 (01:44):
It was all right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
Good.

SPEAKER_06 (01:45):
Go birds.

SPEAKER_01 (01:46):
Glad we got that out the way.

SPEAKER_06 (01:48):
All right.
You know what?

SPEAKER_01 (01:49):
I'm just teasing.

SPEAKER_06 (01:51):
Go birds.
My birds won.
That was good.

SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
What was the score?
A lot to a little?

SPEAKER_06 (01:56):
No, it was uh a little to enough.
That's what it was.
A little to enough.

SPEAKER_01 (02:00):
So they just barely not sucked or look here.

SPEAKER_06 (02:04):
Okay.
Look here, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
What?

SPEAKER_06 (02:07):
She's mad at me.
Huh?
So now she's gonna be angry,bitter.
This is gonna be a good episode.
I don't know what you're talkingabout.
Y'all gonna see the energy shebrings?

SPEAKER_01 (02:17):
I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_06 (02:18):
So yeah, I had I had a um I tell me about the game
first.
The game we won.
That's all it matters.

SPEAKER_01 (02:24):
Okay, who do we play?
The Buccaneers?

SPEAKER_06 (02:25):
No.

SPEAKER_01 (02:26):
Who?

SPEAKER_06 (02:29):
It don't matter.

SPEAKER_00 (02:31):
Um Who do we play?

SPEAKER_06 (02:33):
It don't matter.
Uh I had a good week.
My Dodgers are doing great.
SC is pissing me off, and myEagles won.

SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Why are you why is SC pissing off?

SPEAKER_06 (02:41):
Because they keep losing the bums they shouldn't
lose to.

SPEAKER_01 (02:42):
Oh.
They're having a cowboy season.

SPEAKER_06 (02:45):
I mean the Cowboys, that's no.
Oh.
Cowboys never have a greatseason.
Fuck the Cowboys.

SPEAKER_01 (02:50):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (02:53):
And she did.
If y'all hear anything about it.

SPEAKER_01 (02:57):
If y'all heard that in the background, that's her
daughter playing with her toys.
She's having a big.
And she's all, yay, she did it.

SPEAKER_06 (03:03):
She's in a she's in the bathtub.
Oh, now yeah, but we recordedhome.

SPEAKER_01 (03:07):
Right.
Of course we recorded home.

SPEAKER_06 (03:09):
So yeah.
How was your week?

SPEAKER_01 (03:11):
My week was good.
Go ahead.
I can't complain.
My week was good.
Um tell them about your PR.
My P my PB?

SPEAKER_06 (03:18):
Yeah, tell them about it.

SPEAKER_01 (03:18):
Oh, I pulled 365 for the first time.

SPEAKER_06 (03:22):
And then what'd you say?

SPEAKER_01 (03:24):
I should have just gone for like 380.

SPEAKER_06 (03:26):
So you were sandbagging.

SPEAKER_01 (03:27):
No, I wasn't sandbagging.
I was um I didn't watch.

SPEAKER_06 (03:30):
I want you to know that we the people are proud of
you.

SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_06 (03:35):
You're 365.

SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
Thank you.
I'm proud of myself.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 (03:38):
We know that you could have probably done 405.
Okay.
Because you're pretty strong.

SPEAKER_01 (03:42):
Well, that's that's my that's my goal.
Like my first 400's goal is 405.

SPEAKER_06 (03:47):
If we could just merge our strengths together,
you know, it would it would takeyour squat of five pounds.

SPEAKER_01 (03:52):
Okay.
Five pounds?

SPEAKER_06 (03:54):
I only squat about five pounds.

SPEAKER_01 (03:55):
Okay.
So it'll put me at what, 320?
Put you at 305.
305.
Oh, whatever you are.
320 to put me at 320.
325.
I can give you 15.
I'm at 315 on my squat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But um, so yeah, my week wasgood.
Um, got to hang with the kid.
Well, got to hang with the kid.
We did the all, you know, thefall festivities are rolling in.

(04:17):
So we had Harvest Festival,which was your absolute
favorite.
We know how much you loved it.
Um It was terrible.
But my baby, not listen here.
My baby don't play when it comesto competition.
Okay, she don't play when itcomes to, it don't matter what
type of contest it is.

SPEAKER_06 (04:31):
She won the hula hoop contest.

SPEAKER_01 (04:32):
That baby got in that hula hoop contest and she
was like, let me show y'all howmy hips don't lie.
And she got in there and she waslike, and then when you were
sweating.
But when I when I had posted it,right, um, your sister, she was
like, Oh, not her uh showing offat the end because when she was
the only one standing, I don'tknow if you noticed, but she
held up two number ones on eachhand and she was like, Yeah, I'm

(04:53):
number one.
And your sister was hurt, waslike, not her being cocky.

SPEAKER_06 (04:57):
Show out.
When you win, you deserve to dothings like that.
But you have to lose how youwin.

SPEAKER_01 (05:05):
Um, so yeah, that was really fun.
Um, and then watching her andher squad sing their number one
hit right now.
Like them, the if your kidsdon't know about the K-pop demon
hunters right now.

SPEAKER_04 (05:16):
I'm so sick of Golden.

SPEAKER_00 (05:18):
It's a catchy song.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 (05:29):
I'm so tired of that song.
It's so catchy, though.
I'm sick of it.
But the other one is um uh shelikes my little soda pop, your
my soda pop.

SPEAKER_06 (05:38):
I'm sick of all of them.

SPEAKER_01 (05:39):
It's catchy.

SPEAKER_06 (05:40):
She's about to start singing Blessed Assurance.

SPEAKER_01 (05:42):
Uh she knows she knows her gospels too.
From her, from her granny.
She knows, she knows.
Blessed Assurance.
Oh, I was like, I thought shewas singing it right now.
Um, yeah, so that was fun.
Family time is always alwaysfun.
But yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (05:58):
Until you decided to participate and be part of the
uh what is it called?

SPEAKER_01 (06:05):
It was the it was supposed to be for the limbo
contest.
You were up there, but I saidI'm trying to go home.
You still own the limbo stick.
Listen, because he asked forparent participation and he was
like, can I get two parents uphere to facilitate the uh limbo
contest?
And I was like, okay, I can dothat.
But I thought we were gonnaimmediately go into the limbo

(06:26):
contest after the last hula hoopcontest, right?
So the last uh group to performfor the hula hoop contest was
the six, I mean the fifthgraders.
First of all, I mean they wererelentless because all of us was
sitting there like, well, damn,how long y'all gonna sit here in
hula hoop?
I mean, them.
Them girls and boys was justhula hooping.

(06:48):
I'm we send them, me and theother parents sitting up there
just holding the stick, like,okay, can we hurry up and move
along?

SPEAKER_06 (06:52):
The funny thing, yeah, but they won't clean their
room.

SPEAKER_01 (06:54):
And then, and then when there was no um no winner,
he was like, okay, now we haveto make it more difficult.
He made them hop on one leg, hemade them do two jumps, and then
he made them put on a secondhula hoop.
So in me and my other parentmind, we're like, okay, for
sure, this is finna be over nowbecause now they got a hula
hoop.
Would you believe them girlsstood up there and hula hoop for
like another smooth five minuteswith two hula hoops around their

(07:16):
waist?
I was like, okay, come on now.
Somebody, someone has, someonehas to give up.
But it ended up being one of herum, one of her gym mates that go
to the same gymnastics gym thatended up winning.
And the poor baby had broken alittle sweat, but she did she
did not lose real, well, she didnot lose her rhythm or her
rotation.

SPEAKER_06 (07:36):
You said it ended up being, and I instantly thought
about that song you don't likethat I love.
What song?
It ended up being one of mynumber one records.

SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Oh gosh, I can't stand that song.
I haven't liked that song sinceI was a little girl.

SPEAKER_03 (07:48):
Then I did instance.
I have not liked that song sinceI was a child.
That you make me woman.
I don't like that song.
I said you'll be gentle with me.

SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
Please stop.
And I I hope you will.
I'm trying to be your friend.
You're making it difficult.
Um, yeah, but after that, so weso then I thought, so I thought
once that was done, once shewon, I was me and the other
parent were like, okay.

SPEAKER_06 (08:15):
Okay, then let's get this going.

SPEAKER_01 (08:16):
Then he goes, now moving on to the parent
competition.
I said, the what?

SPEAKER_06 (08:22):
Why did we start this whole stick so early?

SPEAKER_01 (08:24):
Why did we start the stick so early?
Because not only was I gettingupset because I'm missing out
time with my kid.
Yeah, you know, and I was like,and she's with the parent who
doesn't want to be here.
So I know he's not making itenjoyable for her.
So I really wanted to be there,you know.
I didn't want to leave her withthe parent who didn't want to be
there.
You know what I'm saying?
And so it's the truth.
You did it.

SPEAKER_06 (08:45):
My baby had a good time.

SPEAKER_01 (08:46):
She did have a great time.

SPEAKER_06 (08:48):
Can I let her go down?

SPEAKER_01 (08:49):
And then as soon as you saw me, what was the first
words out of your mouth?

SPEAKER_06 (08:53):
I'm ready to go.
Oh, because I was having stomachissues.
I had to go.
I needed to get to my bathroom.
ASAP.
But I let my baby go to uh, shewent on the monkey bars.
She played bathroom.
She's good on the monkey bars.
I don't know.
I couldn't see.
It was so damn dark.
Oh, wow.
We just we knew there was kidsover there.
We didn't know what they weredoing.

SPEAKER_01 (09:12):
We knew there was kids.

SPEAKER_06 (09:13):
Because they didn't have no lights on that side of
the playground.
Oh.
I said, we know the kids areover there.
And so let's hope they didn'thop the door.
The other mom was like, Can yousee them?
I said, I don't see them all.
She said, Oh, there's my she'slike, Oh, my daughter's outfit.
Because she was wearing red,yeah.
So I was like, Okay, there theygo.
I was like, Yeah, but I mean,we're gonna say this shit good.

SPEAKER_02 (09:30):
Yeah, sure.
Okay, she did great.

SPEAKER_01 (09:32):
Um, yeah, so then we did the hula hoo.
I mean, uh, we did the uh limbo.

SPEAKER_02 (09:36):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
Lil Boy won.
He came up to me.
He was like, Did I win?
He was like, Do I get a bigchocolate bar?

SPEAKER_03 (09:42):
He did.

SPEAKER_01 (09:43):
Yeah, he did.
He got the big chocolate bar.
I was happy for him because hewas like, like, girl, I gotta
get that big chocolate bar.

SPEAKER_06 (09:48):
He was trying to get it.
He was trying to get it.
He was like, look, I didn't dothis for nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (09:51):
I want the big chocolate.

SPEAKER_06 (09:53):
I didn't show up for nothing.
Give me my chocolate now.

SPEAKER_01 (09:56):
He was funny.
But yeah, so that was fun.
So I had a pretty good week.

SPEAKER_06 (09:59):
I'm happy you had a good week.

SPEAKER_01 (10:00):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (10:02):
She is she's going at it.

SPEAKER_01 (10:03):
There's like a whole script or something that's
happening upstairs.

SPEAKER_06 (10:06):
She's having fun.
We're gonna let her be.
If y'all hear the background onthis podcast, yeah, we got a
kid, let it go.
So what we got today, BlueSkies?

SPEAKER_01 (10:13):
Um, okay, so remember when we did uh Princess
Treatment or Bare Minimum?
Uh-huh.
So now it's King Treatment orBare Minimum.

SPEAKER_06 (10:19):
Oh, so it's about me?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (10:21):
So you, you know, you're gonna like it.

SPEAKER_04 (10:24):
You just said you didn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
I did not say that.
I said that I want to be yourfriend or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 (10:28):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (10:29):
Um, but you were making it difficult because you
were seeing us.

SPEAKER_04 (10:31):
You just said I couldn't have brown sugar.
You literally were told Icouldn't have brown sugar.

SPEAKER_01 (10:35):
Because I was upset.

SPEAKER_04 (10:36):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (10:36):
Nobody wants to hand out sugar when they're upset.
Um sugar.
So well, I guess that can bethat can be that can be the
first the first question.
If I give you if if giving yousugar when I'm upset, giving you
sugar when I'm upset.
Because you're not payingattention.
Giving you sugar when I'm upset.

SPEAKER_05 (10:55):
Like kisses?

SPEAKER_01 (10:56):
Yeah.
Or like whatever.
Is that bare minimum workingtreatment?

SPEAKER_06 (11:01):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (11:01):
What would you consider it be?

SPEAKER_06 (11:02):
Bare minimum, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 (11:04):
Wow, really?

SPEAKER_06 (11:05):
Because I gotta kiss you when I'm mad.

SPEAKER_01 (11:06):
No, you don't.
You ain't gotta kiss me, sucker.

SPEAKER_06 (11:09):
Okay, y'all see this?
Y'all see this.

SPEAKER_01 (11:11):
You ain't gotta kiss me.
She and a she gonna attitude.
She gotta just say two today.
Who do you think this is?

SPEAKER_06 (11:19):
This is gonna be, don't worry, y'all.
She got attitude, so it's gonnabe a short, short episode.

SPEAKER_01 (11:23):
Who do you think this is?

SPEAKER_06 (11:25):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (11:25):
Okay.
Lord.
So this is gonna be kingtreatment or bare minimum.
All right.
So I'll ask you a question, andI'm gonna say, me doing this, is
this king treatment for you orbare minimum?

SPEAKER_06 (11:38):
All right.
I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_01 (11:39):
And then I want you to explain why.

SPEAKER_06 (11:40):
I think most of them are gonna be bare minimum, but
okay.

SPEAKER_01 (11:44):
Okay.
Here we go.
All right, here we go.
Daily acts of care, okay?
Okay.
When I notice that you needsomething before you even
mention it, is that kingtreatment or bare minimum?
Think about that.

SPEAKER_06 (11:57):
That's king treatment because you barely uh
notice it.

SPEAKER_01 (11:59):
Really?
Okay, so you're so you want tobe funny?
You want to be funny?
Okay.
No, I just I just need to gauge.
I just need to gauge where thisis going today, and I can see
what path you want to be on.
Hold on so that's now.

SPEAKER_06 (12:12):
Let me explain.
Because a lot of times you don'tknow when I'm low on um uh
shaving cream.
You don't know when I'm low ondeodorant.
You don't know, you don't knowwhen my um uh when I need a
controller.

SPEAKER_01 (12:24):
You don't know.
A controller?
Okay, Damel.
You don't know.
Okay, I'm not doing this withyou.

SPEAKER_06 (12:29):
Damn, when you go grocery shopping, you know when
I'm low on protein shakes.
So that stuff you do, dude.

SPEAKER_01 (12:33):
I know when you need to make a doctor's appointment
and I make it for you.
I know when you need new bodywash.
I know when you need new.
I know when you need body wash,okay?
I know when you need new draws,I get you new draws because if
now you have never bought medraws.
I have never bought you draws.

SPEAKER_06 (12:50):
You don't buy me draws.
You thought what you do is youthump my draws away.
You forced me to buy new draws.

SPEAKER_01 (12:57):
DeMail.

SPEAKER_03 (12:58):
Sade.
Sade.
I'm not doing this with youtoday.
When have you ever bought medraws?

SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
Babe, I got you draws from Target, remember?
And you said you didn't likethem and you wanted to order
something else off of Amazon.

SPEAKER_06 (13:08):
Oh, you probably got the wrong ones.

SPEAKER_01 (13:10):
Exactly.
See, look at you.
Oh, see, this is oh, this isthis is a part of being a wife
that like people don't tell youabout.
This is why we're not doing it.
This is why I'm keeping arunning record of things I need
to have a discussion with uhwith Phoenix about as she gets
older.
Oh, okay.
So that she can like.
I'm gonna have a discussion withher too.
Um, let's see.

SPEAKER_06 (13:29):
It's gonna be different though.

SPEAKER_01 (13:31):
Um, when I thank you for your hard work, is that bare
minimum or a king treatment?

SPEAKER_06 (13:35):
Bare minimum.

SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
Why?

SPEAKER_06 (13:36):
Because I should at least feel appreciated.

SPEAKER_01 (13:39):
So me saying thank you is the it goes towards it.
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (13:45):
You know they say faith without you.

SPEAKER_01 (13:47):
When I let you sleep on your day off.

SPEAKER_06 (13:49):
That that is king treatment.
Look here.
Look here.
Because I know that, you know,we have sometimes we have family
stuff, but sometimes, you know,I just ain't got it.
Um I I am I have been grinding,putting in these 60 hours every
week, plus reporting and videoediting and stuff like that.
And I just I'm done.
I am I am You're cooked.

(14:10):
You're toast.
I am mentally finished.

SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (14:14):
I have the mental capacity at that point of a of a
of a baby just born to theworld.
I need to sleep every threehours.
What?

SPEAKER_01 (14:22):
Every three hours, the baby just born needs more
than that.

SPEAKER_06 (14:25):
Uh and so when you do allow me to just sleep or
just lay around only you knowwhen I need it, that's that's
keen true.
I appreciate you.
Because sometimes you I've haddays where I wanted to do that
and you'd be like.

SPEAKER_01 (14:37):
That's not in your cards for you today.

SPEAKER_06 (14:40):
You said today, you said today that's not your
testimony.

SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
It looks like you had a plan.

SPEAKER_06 (14:44):
That's not your testimony.

SPEAKER_01 (14:46):
But I'm gonna go ahead and put your plan on the
shelf and give you what thefamily plan is today.

SPEAKER_06 (14:51):
So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (14:52):
Um, when I ask you what you want for dinner,
instead of deciding for you, isthat bare minimum or king
treatment?

SPEAKER_06 (14:59):
That's something I'm neither.
Because you don't have to ask methat all the time.
Because I I now operate ofwhatever you cook, I'm going to
eat.
And if there's something I wantin particular, I'm going to let
you know.

SPEAKER_01 (15:12):
But then I get annoyed when you don't tell me
because it's like I don't wantto have to come up with ideas
for dinner all the time.
It's exhausting.

SPEAKER_06 (15:20):
I know you don't want to come up with ideas for
dinner all the time, but at thesame time, like, what's for
dinner is one decision I don'twant to make.

SPEAKER_01 (15:26):
Wow, welcome to my life.
Welcome to my life.

SPEAKER_06 (15:31):
Because before my weight loss journey, it'd be
like, just get some pizza.

SPEAKER_01 (15:34):
And what did I say today?
I was like, I said, damn, Ireally could go for some pizza.
I just don't feel like beingmiserable, so therefore I'm not
gonna do it.
I wouldn't risk it.
Yeah, I'm not gonna risk it.
I'm not gonna risk it.
I will be immobile tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 (15:45):
Immobile is wild.

SPEAKER_01 (15:47):
Be immobile.
Immobile is wild.
It's true.
It's true.
Because as soon as I eat it, I'mgonna want to lay down and
laying down with marinara sauceon your stomach.

SPEAKER_06 (15:58):
That's why.

SPEAKER_01 (15:58):
I'll be immobile tomorrow.

SPEAKER_06 (16:00):
Well, what if we get it with barbecue sauce on the
marinara sauce?

SPEAKER_01 (16:02):
That's disgusting.
I don't play those kind ofgames.
That's weird.
Unless you get it with pestosauce.
Now I play those games.

SPEAKER_06 (16:07):
Oh, do you?

SPEAKER_01 (16:08):
That's good.
Um, when I take care of you whenyou're sick.

SPEAKER_06 (16:11):
Bear Ben.
Because you sign them the paper.
Because you sign them papers.
Them papers.
Them papers.

SPEAKER_01 (16:20):
It's in the contract.

SPEAKER_06 (16:21):
And honestly, taking care of me when I'm sick ain't
that bad.
All you gotta do.

SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
Larely, he's never taking care of himself when he's
sick.
Because he is a horriblepatient.
A horrible patient.
He's needy.
First of all.

SPEAKER_06 (16:37):
You don't listen.

SPEAKER_01 (16:38):
You don't listen.
You're a crybaby.

SPEAKER_06 (16:41):
Okay, hold on now.
You're not finna blasphemy.

SPEAKER_01 (16:44):
Damn.

SPEAKER_06 (16:45):
I'm gonna come up with a whole disc record for
your ass.
Damel.
I am not a crybaby.

SPEAKER_01 (16:49):
You're a crybaby when you're I am not.
You call me every five minutesto tell me the same thing, but
with a different intensity.
If you have a headache, you'llcall me in the room and be like,
babe, my head is killing me.
I'll be like, okay, babe, let meget you, let me get you some
like Tyler, some aspirin,whatever.
No, no, no.
I'll get him some medicine.
I'll make him some tea.
I tuck listen here.

(17:10):
I tuck him in, quite literally.

SPEAKER_02 (17:13):
I don't like to be tucked in.

SPEAKER_01 (17:14):
No, you do.
Why are you embarrassed?
Why are you tapping for thepeople?
It's fine.
You don't have to be embarrassedin front of the people.
There are friends now.
Listen.

SPEAKER_06 (17:21):
I'm not embarrassed.
I don't get to get to the city.

SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
I tuck him in.
Don't I tuck him in.
Don't let him play you.
You put me in sometimes.
Listen, okay.
I literally take care of himlike he's like a six-year-old
child.

SPEAKER_06 (17:36):
You carry me to the bed, too?

SPEAKER_01 (17:37):
No, I don't carry you to the bed.
I mean, I could.
Change my diaper?
Like, I could, but I don't.
But I do all of that, and thenI'll be like, okay, I'm gonna
let you have your rest.
I close the door so you don'thave to hear her.
I stay downstairs.
Like, I try to give you yourspace.
And then you'll call me on thephone downstairs five minutes
later, and then what do you say?
Babe, this, I mean, thisheadache, it just won't go away.

(18:00):
And it just doesn't feel right.
I'll be like, okay.
And then when things startgetting really intense, where I
start to panic, and I'm like,okay, well, maybe we should just
go in.
Let's go in because then hereverts and he goes, No, I think
I'm gonna be all right.
I'ma just, I'm gonna just toughit out.

SPEAKER_06 (18:16):
I gotta feel like I'm gonna die to go to the
doctor.

SPEAKER_01 (18:19):
No, what you do is you try to convince me at home
that you're dying so I can giveyou all of the attention.
And then when I say, okay, Ifeel like this is beginning to
be above what I can care for youfor, and I'm like, let's go to
the emergency room.
You're like, nah, I'm gonna go.

SPEAKER_06 (18:33):
But see, because we had COVID, I had now have
something to gauge it off of.
That's not how Boris, that's nothow that works.
Because if I feel like I felt onday four, five, and six of
COVID, because where I thoughtfor sure, I said, Lord, I'm
gonna see you soon.
This is it.
I thought for sure.
I said, I'm sorry, I'm I'm aboutto leave my family, but that's
not I said, I said, good thingthe policies was paid up.

(18:55):
Bye.
I said she got enough in her toshe ain't got she shouldn't have
to work for at least the nextsix, seven years.

SPEAKER_01 (19:00):
Wow.
Bye, Duelle.

SPEAKER_06 (19:01):
Lord Jesus.
I said, this is it.

SPEAKER_01 (19:03):
Goodbye.

SPEAKER_06 (19:04):
The upper room.

SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
Okay, here's one.
I already know what you're gonnasay, but okay, here we go.
When I initiate physicalintimacy, is that king treatment
or bare minimum?
It should be bare minimum.

SPEAKER_06 (19:18):
It should be.

SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
Okay.
Okay.
You can't elaborate.
Okay.
You're gonna sit, you're gonnasit here and look at me silly.

SPEAKER_06 (19:30):
You are I I've kind of realized that you are just
terrible at initiating intimacy.

SPEAKER_01 (19:35):
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 (19:36):
This is this is how you initiate intimacy.

SPEAKER_01 (19:40):
Close the door.

SPEAKER_06 (19:42):
Go put your daughter out.

SPEAKER_01 (19:44):
I think it goes without saying.
But the fact that you alreadyknow those in my cues, I don't
see what's what's the problem.
You never complain before.
I mean, you enjoy the activitythat partakes after you close
the door and lock it.

SPEAKER_06 (19:56):
And you haven't complained about it.
I want to walk in the room, youclose the door and jump my
bones.

SPEAKER_01 (20:00):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (20:00):
I'm trying to get my bones jumped.

SPEAKER_01 (20:02):
Okay, I'll do that.
When we finish, when we finishthis, uh-huh, and then I make
sure that she's nice and busy.
When you, I'm gonna let you walkin the room first, uh-huh, and
then I'm gonna walk in the roomby you.
Okay.
And I'm gonna close the door,I'm gonna lock it, and I'm gonna
jump your bones.

SPEAKER_06 (20:16):
Okay.
That's what you want.
I'm gonna be asleep right afterthat.

SPEAKER_01 (20:19):
Okay.
I got you.

SPEAKER_06 (20:20):
I'm gonna do one, I'm gonna do one of your moves.
I'm gonna go ahead and put myeye mask down.

SPEAKER_01 (20:26):
Did you get your eye mask back from your sister?
Yeah, but I didn't put it up.
I think it's on the staircase.

SPEAKER_06 (20:31):
I gotta wash it.

SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
Um, let's see.
When I flirt with you, likewe're dating.

SPEAKER_06 (20:38):
That's bare minimum.
You should do it every day.
You should do it every day.
Because I'll flirt with youevery second of the day.

SPEAKER_01 (20:46):
Not every second of the day.
Cut it out.
Don't touch me.

SPEAKER_06 (20:48):
Um don't touch me.
It's crazy words.

SPEAKER_01 (20:52):
When I hold your hand in public, bare minimum
team treatment.

SPEAKER_06 (20:55):
It don't matter to me.

SPEAKER_01 (20:56):
It's it really does because when you try to reach
for my hand, and then if I don'tknow you're reaching for my
hand, you're like, oh, you'reembarrassed.

SPEAKER_06 (21:02):
No, no, no, no, no.
That's rejection.
I don't like being rejected.
First of all, I don't rejectyou.
Cut it out.
I don't like being rejected.
Okay.
Um what I don't like doing, uh Imean, it don't I mean I like
holding your hand because I, youknow, I'm a uh I'm touchy-filly
with you, so but it doesn'treally matter to me.

SPEAKER_01 (21:17):
Okay.
Um, sorry, I got a text messagein the middle.
Um when I surprise you with aromantic evening, is that bare
minimum or king treatment?
It has happened.
Oh, I got it.
When I put the little lavenderteddy on for you.

SPEAKER_06 (21:36):
Oh, that was that was the right thing.

SPEAKER_01 (21:38):
And I had everything all nice.

SPEAKER_06 (21:40):
That was the right thing.

SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
That was it was a romantic evening.

SPEAKER_06 (21:42):
Cleaned up and put a nice one.

SPEAKER_01 (21:44):
Really?
Really?
Yeah, I guess I.
Okay, you want to be funny?

SPEAKER_06 (21:46):
I guess that's yeah, don't go ahead and say that.

SPEAKER_01 (21:48):
Okay, go ahead and be funny.
You'll never see that nightyagain.
You'll be funny.
Go ahead and be funny.
Um, let's see.

SPEAKER_06 (21:56):
I still didn't answer, but oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 (21:57):
Answer.

SPEAKER_06 (21:58):
I'm gonna say bare minimum.

SPEAKER_01 (21:59):
Okay.
Um, when I put effort into myown appearance for you.

SPEAKER_06 (22:04):
A bare motherfucking minimum.
Because sometimes, look here,I'll be giving you a pass.
I said, I she mobbed hard today.
Bye.
Like if I when I come home and Iwalk into that uh that aroma of
intoxicated uh slash uh check onher because she might be dead,

(22:27):
mix of chemicals from cleaningall day.
When the bl when you when youwalk into the spell of bleach,
awesome and comet at the sametime.
Let me make sure she alive.
I I'm not expecting her to lookgood at all.
I'm expecting it to be in someeither some some pajama pants or

(22:47):
some or some or some leggingswith a bleach stained shirt.

SPEAKER_01 (22:50):
I was gonna say my pajama pants or my sweater with
the bleach stain on it.

SPEAKER_06 (22:54):
It just makes you in face, she gonna she's gonna look
exhausted.
I'm like, you know what?
She gonna pass today.
Because she worked hard.

SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
Well, because you came home to a clean home.
But I will say that you look youknow presentable nine 90% of the
time.
I appreciate that.
Thanks.
You know, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_06 (23:13):
Except for when you drool, but that's hilarious.
Actually, you look hilarious inthe gym.
You're your facial expression.
That's your facial expressions.

SPEAKER_01 (23:22):
I'm like, she's moving the whole house with when
it's only like 99 pounds on mypull down.
I'm like, but when I get to likerep 10, I'll be like struggling.
I'm like, damn, it's only 99pounds.
Sounds heavy.

SPEAKER_06 (23:37):
Shout out to our trainer, Joseph, because he sent
me a screenshot of your face.

SPEAKER_01 (23:40):
Did he send you that damn screenshot?
Oh, wow.
Okay, okay.
He texted me.
He took a screenshot, so like wehave to send in our our
recordings of our workouts,right?
And so my trainer, shut up.
He had took a screenshot.
Why?
He sent a screenshot of me in mylast set on my uh my ad workout,

(24:05):
and I had this space, like I wasjust like done and I was over
it.
And he goes, he texts me andhe's like, Can you just explain
to me what was happening at thisparticular time before I send it
to your husband to make a newsticker?
And I was like, Don't you daresend that to him because he's
gonna make it a sticker, he'sgonna send it to the family
group.
Like, don't do that.

SPEAKER_06 (24:25):
It's gonna be a sticker.
We we we uh we've already we'recolluding to um start to make
stickers of your gym faces.
That's rude.
This was my favorite one,though.

SPEAKER_01 (24:33):
That's rude.
That's rude.
And you know what's funny islike when I sent that video, I
was like, when I was editing it,I said I should just cut out the
very last part because I thoughthe was gonna say something about
me hopping off of the machine.
Oh, because I have to hop offthe machine.
And I was like, I should justcut that part.

SPEAKER_06 (24:51):
So I know people, this has nothing to do with the
episode.
So we found out a couple weeksago that my wife is too short
for the standing calf machine.

SPEAKER_01 (25:02):
That's not funny, Damel.
It's not funny.
They should just they should itshould have had one more lever
that goes down.
It needs one more lever to godown.

SPEAKER_05 (25:12):
Like styrofoam shoulder to use the machine.

SPEAKER_01 (25:17):
I'm happy that he gets so much joy out of my
shortcomings.
Shortcomings?
And it's funny that you sayoopaloopah, because you know he
sent me a gif of the oopaloopas.
I was like, wow, thank you forbeing my motor.
You're supposed to be likemotivating me and making me feel
better.
And you're doing the opposite,which is crazy work.

(25:38):
I love you.
Go ahead, continue on.

SPEAKER_06 (25:40):
This is great.
I'm having fun now.

SPEAKER_01 (25:42):
When I send you um spicy text messages, bare
minimum.

SPEAKER_06 (25:48):
I knew you would say that.
I mean, you I gotta get themotor going some kind of way.
You don't need much.

SPEAKER_01 (25:55):
Um, when I give you kisses before I leave the house.

SPEAKER_06 (25:59):
When do you leave the house before I do?
Is the question.

SPEAKER_01 (26:03):
I mean, in the rare occasions it happens.
I mean, that's fine.
I mean, you don't have to.
Is it bare minimum or kingtreatment?

SPEAKER_06 (26:09):
That's bare minimum.
You should say goodbye.
At least say goodbye.

SPEAKER_01 (26:12):
Never king.
Okay, let's let's get into theseones.

SPEAKER_06 (26:15):
Oh Lord.
Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 (26:17):
Yeah.
When I listen withoutinterrupting you.

SPEAKER_06 (26:22):
You never do that.

SPEAKER_01 (26:23):
That never happens.
Is that would you consider thatto be king treatment or bare
minimum?

SPEAKER_06 (26:28):
Because you never not interrupt.

SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
That's not true.
It's not.

SPEAKER_06 (26:33):
That's why you're laughing, because you know it's
not true.

SPEAKER_01 (26:35):
It's not true.
Yeah, it's not true.
That's why I'm laughing.

SPEAKER_06 (26:37):
If it's not true that it's not true, that's what
I mean.

SPEAKER_01 (26:39):
Okay, bye.
Um, let's see.
When I believe in your businessideas, I don't have any business
ideas.

SPEAKER_06 (26:47):
Well, I did want to do a uh uh you do believe my
business.

SPEAKER_01 (26:51):
I was gonna say we literally just had a discussion
on a business, and I totallybelieved in it.
And I even told you how we couldgo about getting it going.

SPEAKER_06 (26:59):
I could that's bare minimal.
Bare minimal.
I mean, as using partners.

SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
You said you should believe in me.

SPEAKER_06 (27:04):
Yeah, you should believe in me.
I mean, if you don't believe inme, why are you here?

SPEAKER_01 (27:07):
Same for the people in the back.

SPEAKER_05 (27:10):
Why why if you don't believe, why are you here?

SPEAKER_01 (27:15):
I think we got bigger problems.
Right.
If you don't believe in me, um,when I defend you in public or
around family, can you treat methe bare minimum?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (27:26):
Because I defend you everywhere.
I don't give a damn.
You know, I would set the worldon fire for you.

SPEAKER_01 (27:31):
Um world?

SPEAKER_06 (27:33):
Beware.
As hunter.
Beware.
As hunter.
People know I don't play aboutmy wife.

SPEAKER_01 (27:41):
When I give you words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_06 (27:44):
That's bare minimum.
You should do it more often.

SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (27:46):
Umce a year.

SPEAKER_01 (27:54):
When I comfort you.
You comfort me?
When I comfort you when you'restressed.
Bare minimum king treatment.

SPEAKER_06 (28:03):
I don't know how to answer that because I don't
think I I I allow you to comfortme a lot of times.

SPEAKER_01 (28:06):
A lot of times I just you try to be a hermit as
much as possible.

SPEAKER_06 (28:11):
Yeah, I isolation is my go-to.

SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
Yeah, you try.

SPEAKER_06 (28:13):
I find my hide hole and I go into hibernation.
Just a big old polar bear inthere just hibernating.

SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
Um, when I take the lead on family scheduling so
that you don't have to.

SPEAKER_06 (28:24):
I mean, at this point it's very minimal because
I don't do it at all.
Look here.
That's why every time somebodyasks me, what y'all doing, talk
to my wife.

SPEAKER_01 (28:31):
And I just added something else to the family
schedule, too.
Hopefully.
Because if it ain't on thecalendar, I don't know what's
going on.
I just added two Friendsgivings,so you might want to take a look
at that.

SPEAKER_06 (28:38):
Hold up now.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait.
Babe, I told you you can use my,you can use me as a reason not
to go.

SPEAKER_01 (28:44):
Oh no.

SPEAKER_06 (28:44):
Not to go.

SPEAKER_01 (28:46):
How else will everybody taste the delicious
Cleo and Leo chicken that Ibring and pass off as my own if
I don't get to crack?

SPEAKER_05 (28:54):
Crazy work.

SPEAKER_01 (28:56):
When she texted me the date, I told her she was
like, tell me what dish you'regonna bring.
And I was like, Well, thechicken, my chicken was a hit
last year, so I think I wouldbring the chicken.
And she was like, I could havesworn you brought your great mac
and cheese.
And I was like, it was probablyboth, but hint, hint, I caught
your hint.
I will bring mac and cheese aswell.
I was like, but remember thechicken?
Because I took all the chickenand I emptied it out in the pan,

(29:17):
like I had just fried it myself,and then I put the foil on it,
and that chicken went quick.
And everybody was like, Oh mygosh, who brought the chicken?
Who brought the chicken?
I was like, I made it.
I brought the chicken.

SPEAKER_03 (29:28):
I brought the chicken, don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 (29:30):
Um, when I show you gratitude for things that you
provide.

SPEAKER_06 (29:34):
That's bare minimum.
You should be grateful.
You should be grateful.
I'm grateful for you.

SPEAKER_01 (29:45):
Oh, okay.
What?
You should be grateful.
I didn't say I wasn't grateful.
It's just the way you said it.

SPEAKER_06 (29:51):
You should be grateful.
Like, you should be grateful.
You should.
A lot of times you're not.

SPEAKER_01 (29:56):
I'm helping you to become a better man.
Okay.
My job is to put you insituations where you have no
choice but to do better and bebetter.
So whenever you're feeling thatway, it's because you know your
wife is putting the pressure onyou to be a better man, to do
more, be better.
I got you got it.
Okay.

(30:16):
Because we just discussed, Ibelieve in who?
You.
That's right.
I believe in you.
I believe in you.
Okay, let's see.
Um when I include you in myplans, don't.
Dismiss me with it all together.

SPEAKER_06 (30:38):
Only include me in your plans if we're going out
with the jewels.
Okay.
Okay.
I miss the jewels.

SPEAKER_01 (30:45):
I miss her too.
Well, we're hanging out onFriday when the girls have their
mid-sleepover.
This Friday?
No, that's not this Friday.
That's the 20 that's thisFriday.

SPEAKER_06 (30:56):
Okay.
So I guess we're not.
We're just not going to thebunker badge.

SPEAKER_01 (30:59):
No, we are.
They can't, they don't have tobe there until 9.
Sorry.
We got we just literally got offtrack.
Sorry.
We'll talk about this later.
Um, you made me lose which one Iwas uh gonna ask you.
Oh, when I trust your judgment.
Is that bare minimum orsomething?

SPEAKER_03 (31:17):
Wow.
Why?
Because I am all-knowing.
That's true.
I'm just playing.

SPEAKER_06 (31:22):
No, I mean, because I mean you clearly saw something
in me that I was trustworthy, soyou should trust my judgment.
Like when I told you don't buythat car.

SPEAKER_01 (31:32):
What car?

SPEAKER_06 (31:33):
Cherry.

SPEAKER_01 (31:34):
No.
Cherry was good though.

SPEAKER_06 (31:36):
But I told you don't buy cherry because you didn't
get tired of driving her.
I mean, but the second itwasn't.

SPEAKER_01 (31:42):
I did.
I did, but I got a great deal onher.
And she was really cute.

SPEAKER_06 (31:48):
You know, like she was a prostitute.
I got a great deal on her.

SPEAKER_01 (31:50):
She had a great deal on her.
She was really cool.
She was amazing on gas.

SPEAKER_06 (31:55):
Yeah, that was that she was.

SPEAKER_01 (31:56):
Like back in the day where I could put$25 in my tank.

SPEAKER_06 (32:01):
What's that like?
That gives you what two daysnow?
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 (32:04):
Two days?
That will get me dropping heroff at school for two days.
And that's about it.
Um, when I look at you withadmiration.

SPEAKER_06 (32:14):
Do you?

SPEAKER_01 (32:16):
When you don't piss me off, I do.

SPEAKER_06 (32:18):
Now you do it in the gym.
No, that's nah, you look at mewith but uh disdain.
With predator eyes.

SPEAKER_01 (32:24):
Oh, like the other day?

SPEAKER_06 (32:26):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (32:26):
Because when you were working, like your triceps
looked really, they lookedreally good.
And that was like, I was havinga moment.
Okay.
So I had to record you.
And then you turned around andflipped me off.

SPEAKER_06 (32:37):
That was rude.
It wasn't rude.
Because you're not supposed torecord people in the gym.
And I report you to the gym.

SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
You're not people.
You belong to me.
I have papers on you.
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (32:46):
I didn't sign them.

SPEAKER_01 (32:47):
Yeah, you did.
When I help you with a projector a goal, is that bare minimum?

SPEAKER_06 (32:52):
Bare minimum.

SPEAKER_01 (32:53):
I don't think so.
I think that's king treatment.
Why is that bare minimum?
Because you're supposed to be myhelpmate.
Gotcha.
You're supposed to be a goodproject leader to be able to do
it yourself.
Oh wow.
The project leader dictates whodoes work in the book.
Yeah, but they have to do it toshow you.

SPEAKER_06 (33:11):
Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_01 (33:13):
Um, let's see.
When I remind you that you are agreat husband and father.

SPEAKER_06 (33:19):
When you do that.

SPEAKER_01 (33:21):
Would that be king treatment or bare minimum?
I don't.

SPEAKER_06 (33:24):
I'm asking.
I don't?

SPEAKER_01 (33:26):
Do you?
I'm asking you.
You're the one on the receivingend of it.

SPEAKER_06 (33:29):
Wow.
Pause.
Uh bare minimum.

SPEAKER_01 (33:31):
No pause.
You said you were gonna stopdoing that because you said you
were grown.

SPEAKER_06 (33:33):
I did.
Bare minimum.
Whoa.
Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 (33:39):
When I check in on your mental health, bare
minimum, king treatment.

SPEAKER_06 (33:42):
That's king treatment because you don't do
it.

SPEAKER_01 (33:44):
Wow.
Really?
Really?
That's why you're sitting therewith that big ass laugh on your
face.

SPEAKER_06 (33:51):
It's funny how you checking in on my mental health
when you're the reason for whyit's going down.

SPEAKER_01 (33:55):
Wait a minute.
Okay, wait.
Crazy works.
I just saw this video and shehad texted her husband.
She texted her husband.
What did she say?
She was like, What picture doyou look at when you're missing
me?
And he was like, I just look atmy uh bank account balance and
that makes me not miss you.

SPEAKER_06 (34:10):
Right.
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (34:11):
He said, So I don't really have one.

SPEAKER_06 (34:14):
I was telling, I was telling somebody, I I think, oh,
I think I was telling Hunter,our friend Hunter, I said, I
said, the second I tell her totell her my check at the
account, I said, three minuteslater, she done swiped
somewhere.

SPEAKER_02 (34:26):
My child support?
I said, she don't even let itget hot.
I mean, she don't let the checkget cold.

SPEAKER_01 (34:33):
You all, but I don't understand.
Like, I spend throughout theweek even before your paycheck.
It's just that when you getpaid, you're always like, oh,
you just had to go by.
I I bought stuff before you gotpaid.
I gotta get in there before youpay the bills.

SPEAKER_06 (34:51):
You can you could you could legit be at home
fixing you something to eat andI call it, hey, the check's
there.

SPEAKER_01 (34:56):
I'm going to Chipotle.
I'm going to Chipotle.
But that's because I probablywent to Chipotle the day before,
too.

SPEAKER_06 (35:04):
And then you got points.

SPEAKER_01 (35:05):
And I got points, so I can eat it even cheaper today.

SPEAKER_06 (35:09):
She's gonna be she's gonna be mad, y'all, when I
block her card.

SPEAKER_01 (35:12):
Uh if you boy, you'll be really mad having to
sleep in your car.

SPEAKER_06 (35:17):
I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_01 (35:18):
Really mad.
Um, okay, let's do two more.
Um, let's see.
When I compliment your scent.

SPEAKER_06 (35:28):
Like you think I smell good?
That's that's keen treatmentbecause I don't always smell
good.

SPEAKER_01 (35:32):
You don't.
Like this morning when you triedto come in the house after the
gym and give me a kiss.
I came from the gym.
I was like, sir, if you do notget them pissed, pick some balls
away from me.

SPEAKER_06 (35:39):
I'm not gonna act like I walk around here stinky,
okay?
I came from the gym.
I put I was in there putting inwork, which you don't know
about.
I was putting in work.

SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Crazy work coming from somebody who does like 135
on rows.
On what kind of roll?
I was waiting for the face drop.

SPEAKER_06 (35:58):
What kind of role are you talking about?

unknown (36:01):
You know what?

SPEAKER_01 (36:02):
Just because you're lifting the heavyweight to do
the role don't mean you're doingit effectively.

SPEAKER_03 (36:05):
My format's immaculate.
It's something.
Immaculate it's not.
Okay, you know what?
This has been the last episode.

SPEAKER_01 (36:12):
When I run errands for you, king treatment or bare
minimum?
I knew you were gonna say thatyou're such an asshole.

SPEAKER_06 (36:18):
In our current dynamic, bare minimum.
Now, when we were both working,that was king treatment.
But now that you got go ahead,go ahead and say it.

SPEAKER_01 (36:27):
Time.
Okay.
Okay.
Ha.
No brown sugar for you.
Time.
I'm not jumping your bones, bythe way.

SPEAKER_06 (36:34):
That's fine.
Please don't jump.
They probably couldn't take itright now.
I'm still sore.
I don't know why.
Okay, you know what?

SPEAKER_05 (36:48):
Are you done?

SPEAKER_01 (36:51):
Are you done?
Oh, this is the kind of fun youget to have after 23 years.
So exciting! This is the kind offun you get to have.
What?

SPEAKER_02 (37:02):
You shouldn't have been talking shit.

SPEAKER_01 (37:05):
What, babe?
Are you done?
Are you done?

SPEAKER_06 (37:09):
I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 (37:09):
You done?

SPEAKER_06 (37:10):
I have nothing else to give.
I have nothing.
I literally have nothing else togive.

SPEAKER_00 (37:15):
You have nothing?
I have nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
I don't wanna.

SPEAKER_05 (37:37):
Are you done?
You're such an asshole.

SPEAKER_01 (37:40):
We're just gonna hop right on into it.
To the comment of the week.

SPEAKER_06 (37:44):
God damn.
The comment of the week.
The coming of the week is.
And that's not really a commentas far.
We're gonna address these.

SPEAKER_01 (37:53):
Yeah, it's just a question we keep getting.

SPEAKER_06 (37:55):
People, we are married in Rome.

SPEAKER_01 (37:56):
In real life.
He's really my husband legally.

SPEAKER_06 (37:59):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (37:59):
Like legally.

SPEAKER_06 (38:00):
Like legally.
Like I signed papers.

SPEAKER_01 (38:03):
Yeah.
We've noticed we've been gettingthat in our comments on our
videos.
Um, some people are like, arey'all married in real life?
And then somebody was like, Whatdid the other person say?

SPEAKER_02 (38:12):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (38:13):
What'd they say?
Y'all married in real life?
Or do they seem like they'remarried?
Or the DM one?
Is that really your wife?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.

SPEAKER_06 (38:22):
No, is that really your husband?
Oh, yeah.
Is that really your husband?
She thought he was DMing you.
That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 (38:27):
Is that really your husband?
He is really my husband.
Y'all motherfuckers, hold on.

SPEAKER_06 (38:30):
Y'all motherfuckers be bold, DMing my wife into the
podcast.
It's not even her personal page.
And the fact is that she's beentagged in a lot of shit and
y'all still will DM the podcastpage.
Like I wouldn't see it.

SPEAKER_01 (38:39):
I don't think they mean anything by it.

SPEAKER_06 (38:42):
They're trying to get some kootie cat.

SPEAKER_01 (38:44):
Brown sugar.

SPEAKER_06 (38:44):
That was some kootie cat.

SPEAKER_01 (38:46):
Please don't say it like that.

SPEAKER_06 (38:47):
That's weird.
That's weird.
Cootie cat out here hanging withthese skeezers.

SPEAKER_01 (38:51):
Skeezers?
But yes.
So just to address the commentthat we got multiple times, we
are married in real life.

SPEAKER_03 (39:01):
Barely.
Barely.

SPEAKER_01 (39:03):
Okay, but we are many people like home it down.

SPEAKER_00 (39:07):
Rest in peace.
I know she be.
I told you.

SPEAKER_05 (39:10):
That's my dog.

SPEAKER_01 (39:14):
It was not.
Okay.
Let's hop into our two cents.
Because I need your I need youruh reaction and opinion on some
of these, okay?
All right.

SPEAKER_03 (39:23):
I'll be right back.
I'm raw dogging these guys.

SPEAKER_01 (39:25):
Um, am I the asshole because I don't want my
boyfriend to move in and onlypay, quote unquote, what the
bills go up to?

SPEAKER_03 (39:33):
Do you understand that?
Oh, yeah, I got it.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (39:36):
Um, I'm asking because I had a couple of
friends say that I was beingunreasonable, wondering about my
financial situation where allhis money is going, and I don't
think that I am.
So I just need a more unbiasedopinion.
I'm a 39-year-old female and Ihave been dating my boyfriend
who's 36 for five months.
Things have been going great.
We just don't see each otherthat often, maybe like once a

(39:59):
week currently.
Because it is hard to coordinatetime with four kids, two of
mine, 10-year-old female andeight-year-old female, and two
his, a three-year-old female anda two-year-old female.
Wow, you guys got little babies.

SPEAKER_06 (40:13):
No, he got.

SPEAKER_01 (40:14):
He got, yeah.
I've worked very hard since myseparation and eventual divorce.
And I have owned my own home forfour and a half years while he
still lives at home with hismother after two years.
Not that I fault him because Iunderstand that renting or
buying a house right now in aninsane market.
About a week ago, we were layingin bed and he said that he sees

(40:35):
us lasting while he would be uhwhile while he would like to
cons while he would like for meto consider him and his girls
moving in.
He says that he cannot offermuch, but he can at least cover
the bills for what they would goup to.
So I wouldn't, so it wouldn'tcost me anything for them to
live in.
So he's just saying he can justpay the difference and the bills

(40:55):
going up.
I didn't say anything in themoment, just asked when he was
thinking what time he wasthinking for the time frame.
And I got a response of soon aspossible.
My house is small, it's only 900square feet, but I feel like it
is an unreasonable to offer whatbills would go up, which would
be a max of like$150 a month.

(41:16):
Now I understand that maybe hecan't cover half the bills, even
though I bought the house when Imade$18 an hour and he currently
makes$22 an hour.
I think at the very minimum weneed to sit down and consider,
we need to sit down and have adeep dive into each other's
finances before I shouldconsider letting him move in
with his kids.
Not to mention that it has onlybeen five months of us dating.

(41:40):
I've talked to a few people andthe majority seem to side with
me.
But now I'm paranoid about thecouple that don't, that I'm now
somehow being unreasonable inthe whole situation.
He's also asked to move in afterI went to see my financial
advisor.
And I was kind enough to say,uh, like discuss her finances,
saying what her financialposition was and what it was

(42:02):
going to be when she retired,and that it's going to be really
good and I'm going to be in agreat position.
And I currently have uh, and hecurrently has zero retirement.
So it feels like he saw this asa good financial place for him
to be in.
Um, and he saw the goodfinancial place that I'm going
to be in, and that is hisretirement plan.

(42:23):
And whether it's wrong or not, Ivalue my children's opinion and
they're not ready to have himover either.
The whole situation kind offeels like a red flag.
But whether I'm a pessimist or arealist, it feels like I'm gonna
end up with a freeloader.
Any suggestions?

SPEAKER_06 (42:39):
The matador can't waive the flag, the red flag big
enough for this motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 (42:45):
You already called it.
She already called it.
How dumb do you have to be?
And he said, soon.
When are you when were youthinking about moving too?

SPEAKER_06 (42:53):
His mama is kicking him out.
Hold on.
You 20, he's 36 with two kidsliving at home with his mama.
He ain't shit.
For the past two years.
He ain't shit now.

SPEAKER_01 (43:01):
By Damel.

SPEAKER_06 (43:02):
He wasn't shit when he got whoever his uh kid's
mother's pregnant.
He wasn't shit then.
And now his mama probably tyinghis ass too.
And now she does.

SPEAKER_02 (43:10):
And now he's looking, now he's looking for
somebody else to leech on.
Man, what are you thinking?
Do not let this man in yourhouse.

SPEAKER_01 (43:16):
That's what I said.
I said, girl, don't let him inyour house.
Five months in, no retirementplan,$22 an hour, and been
living with his mom for$20.
He's been the sweetestmotherfucker you know because he
needs somewhere to stay.
He needs you, yeah.
And then like you.
And then, like, she said aftershe was uh kind enough to talk
to him about her financial likesituation, that he has no

(43:38):
retirement.

SPEAKER_06 (43:39):
No retirement is wild.
Bye.
You're 36, my dude.
You got 20 years left to figurethis shit out.

SPEAKER_01 (43:47):
I mean, if it do well, you don't know if his job
offers it or not.

SPEAKER_06 (43:50):
He's 36 with two kids.
Two under five.
Two under five.
He ain't got time to save on$22an hour with two under five.

SPEAKER_01 (44:02):
That's why that's probably that's why he has no
retirement.

SPEAKER_06 (44:05):
Look here.

SPEAKER_01 (44:05):
He can't save.

SPEAKER_06 (44:06):
Cut your losses.
I'm finna sound like all thewomen that be in our comments.
Girl, leave his ass.
Bye.
That that come on.
That's ridiculous.
Y'all can't have that much incommon.

SPEAKER_01 (44:17):
I mean, if he's lacking in that area, he's
probably pretty stupid.
Well, I mean, hey.
In another.

SPEAKER_06 (44:24):
Keep him in that role.
Don't let him in your house.
And your kids, and your girls.
Yeah, they said they don't wantto want around.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (44:31):
So that's that's the end of the story there.
Yeah, that's the end of thestory there.
No, let that mother.
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (44:37):
Sorry ass nigga.

SPEAKER_01 (44:38):
Am I the asshole because I won't tell my wife
what my son slash her stepsonhas in his savings from my late
wife?

SPEAKER_04 (44:47):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (44:48):
My wife, 40, and I, 40, have a blended family.
I have a 16-year-old son with mylate wife.
My wife has a 13-year-olddaughter and a 12-year-old son
with her ex-husband, and theyshare custody.
And we have a four and atwo-year-old together.

SPEAKER_07 (45:03):
It's a lot of kids.

SPEAKER_01 (45:04):
When my late wife was sick, she told me that she
wanted a percentage of hercompensation she was issued for
her medical misdiagnosis to goto our son's savings.
She also had a second savingsaccount she wanted to add to it.
This was on top of what the twoof us had already saved for him
before her illness.
I honored her wishes and Icontinued saving for our son's

(45:25):
future.
This is a promise I made to mylate wife that I have stood by.
I also promised that I wouldprotect it and make sure it was
only and ever for him and no oneelse.
When my present wife and Iseriously dated, we talked about
the saving, what savings wouldlook like for our kids if and
when we got married.
She knew I had always saved as Ihad with my late wife.

(45:45):
We didn't discuss how mucheither of us had saved for our
existing kids, but we agreed toan amount every month that would
be saved for all three.
And this was talked about againwhen we had our children
together.
Recently, there has been a lotof stress on my wife.
Her ex has refused to discuss mystepkid's savings and if he pays
anything or not.

(46:06):
She also feels like we haven'tbeen able to save enough every
month, like I promised, or likepromised, because it was just
one thing after another.
There are months we've missedbecause of things beyond our
control, like stuff mostlythings breaking, things for the
house, et cetera.
A few weeks ago, my wife told methat we should put all the cards
on the table and discuss whatall five kids have and decide

(46:28):
how we process and proceed withmaking sure everyone gets what
they need for their future.
I told her that I would be happyto discuss what I have saved for
my oldest, but I will not bediscussing the money left by his
mom.
She pushed back on it and saidall the money should be taken
into consideration.
I told her we do not know whatall the money is.

(46:50):
I said our parents could besaving money for the kids.
Um, her ex had might have moneyfor the stepkids.
His parents could have money forthe stepkids.
We can't say for certain whateveryone will have at the end of
all this.
And it's only fair to discusswhat she and I have and what we
have saved.
She told me it sounds like thatI don't trust her.

(47:10):
I responded by asking why shewants to know so badly.
By only talking about what wehave saved, we're on an even
footing.
She told me if I kneweverything, then we could focus
on the kids who have less fromthe kids who have more.
That our younger two areprobably going to be the worst
off long term, and that shewould be open to combining

(47:30):
everyone's money and dividing itevenly.
I told her that I was not onboard with that and that what my
son has from his mom is notgoing to be shared or used in
any of the other kids' savings.
We argued about it, but I refuseto say otherwise.
She feels like that's wrong whenwe're married.
I told her it's not my money,nor is it her money or money

(47:54):
that we could or should beassessing.
It's from my late wife to ourson, and that's all there is to
it.
My wife said that she feels likeI'm keeping her in the dark and
not trusting her with somethingimportant.
She said it cuts her ability tofully engage in conversations we
need to be able to have anddecisions we need to make as a
couple.
Am I the asshole?

(48:14):
No.

SPEAKER_06 (48:15):
No, you're not.
And she's not in the dark.
Because what she wanna know, itain't her goddamn business.

SPEAKER_01 (48:19):
It's none of her business.

SPEAKER_02 (48:20):
That's that's that's what his mama left for him.

SPEAKER_01 (48:24):
Yep.
And he made, and he, he'sstanding by the promise that he
made to his late wife.
Just like if you if you swearhim to a promise for you guys as
children, he's gonna, he's gonnastand by that.

SPEAKER_06 (48:34):
Again, like I said last week, your ass only here
because she's not there no more.
So you should be thanking herthat you got a good man now
because had she not uh passedon, you wouldn't be here.
You wouldn't even be here in thefirst place.
Yeah, right.
And I know her thinking is hehis oldest son probably has she

(48:55):
probably feels like she probablyknows he has quite a lot of
people.
She probably feels like he hasenough and he's gonna have way
more than his younger has been.

SPEAKER_01 (49:02):
And he is, naturally, because he's the
oldest.

SPEAKER_06 (49:05):
Right?
Naturally, so but here's but butwho's the here's here here's the
fuck like that.
Who's to say that he won't helphis younger siblings?

SPEAKER_01 (49:13):
If they need help when they become of age,
correct.

SPEAKER_06 (49:15):
You know what I'm saying?
But for you to think that you'refinna stick your hand in his
cookie jar.

SPEAKER_01 (49:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (49:20):
And and and think it's fair to make everybody.
That his mama left him, bitch,enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 (49:26):
Yeah, no, that's not, that's because that was
left, that was left for, like,literally for him.
That was from your that was fromhis his his previous marriage.
Like, like you said, this noneof this would be happening had
she not felt ill and passed on.
Like none of this would behappening, right?
Right.
So for you as the new wife to belike, oh yeah, forget what your

(49:48):
your last wife made you promiseor whatever deal you guys are
she's not here now, and he needsto come up off some of that
money to make sure our kids thatwe had together are taken care
of.
But it sounds like he has beenputting in the savings, but
she's concerned because herex-husband hasn't been holding
up his end of the bargainfinancially.

(50:09):
And now you want to come overhere and dip into my son's
because your ex- No, that's nothow that works.

SPEAKER_06 (50:14):
And see now, me as a board member of the of the petty
committee.
Oh, bye Maurice.
I would now get petty and say,you know, those two stepkids of
mine, I'm no longer gonnacontribute to their savings
either.

SPEAKER_01 (50:27):
I'm only contributing to our shares.

SPEAKER_06 (50:29):
I'm only gonna contribute to my children's
savings.
So now that you're stressed out,that's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 (50:35):
That's too much.

SPEAKER_06 (50:36):
That's a little bit more.
Is it too much?
That's a little much.
But let's be petty.
Either you leave my son alone orI'm gonna leave your children.

SPEAKER_01 (50:41):
I mean, he made it very clear.
He was firm.
He told her, I'm not gonnadiscuss it anymore because it
has nothing to do with you.
He he basically said his moneyhas nothing to do with you, me,
and anybody else.
That's his money.
It's his money.

SPEAKER_06 (50:52):
That's his money that his mama left him.
That's his money.
That his mama left him.

SPEAKER_01 (50:58):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (50:58):
Get over it.

SPEAKER_01 (50:59):
That's like saying she left him a house and a new
wife is like, nah, we need tosell that to pay some bills.
That's his house.
That's his house.
You can't do that.
This is why I love people.
Anyway, this has been anotherepisode of the Life After I Do
podcast.
If you're not doing so already,join the family by following us
on all of our social mediaplatforms at Life After I Do

(51:20):
Podcast on Instagram, TikTok,Facebook, um, YouTube.
You can also write into thepodcast at um lifeafterdupodcast
at gmail.com.
Thank you to those who havesubmitted stories for us to
read.
Um, we will be reading them likethroughout throughout the weeks
for the hour two cent episodes.
So we really appreciate theinteraction, guys.

(51:41):
We appreciate the love andsupport.
And until next week.
Peace booskies.
Peace booskies.