March 5, 2025 • 55 mins
In this volume of Our 2 Cents we dive in with humor and real talk. We discuss family dynamics, communication, and the role of wellness in a strong partnership. Join us for laughter, insights, and deep conversations on keeping relationships thriving!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, so why you trying to be a vibe today?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What I'm a vibe every day.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You look really good.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis short, oh gosh.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis motherfucker short.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I appreciate that.
Is it the lip?
Because I didn't go?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
with a nude lip.
Today, it's everything.
It's giving face hair asstitties.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Face hair ass titties .
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
It's giving.
I'm about to give you some too,thanks.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the Life After I Do podcast.
Yes, for the next 25 minutes toan hour you'll be kicking it
with Nisha Jamalito, as you doevery Wednesday.
(01:08):
Hey everybody, welcome.
Woo-hoo, a second clap, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because they're kicking it with Nisha Jamalito
every Wednesday.
We haven't really had food yet,so Not you trying to be a vibe
today.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
What I'm a vibe every day.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You look really good.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis short.
Oh gosh, thanks.
We might have to cut thismotherfucker short.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I appreciate that.
Is it the lip?
Because I didn't go?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
with a nude lip.
Today it's giving face hair asstitties.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Face hair hair ass titties.
Face hair ass titties.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Thanks it's giving.
I'm about to give you some too.
You know what?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I, so I did try new products.
You know me and my I'm alwaystrying new products and I tried
a new, some new products todayand then without fail.
I feel like every time I trysomething new or put something
new on my face, you don't knowwhat it is but you just know
it's something different and yoube like, yeah, you look good, I
don't know what it is, but youdid something different.
(02:16):
I don't know what you gotcooking Right, but it's a new
blush, it's a new powder.
I don't know everything that'sin the pot but it's coming
together nicely.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I appreciate it.
You know what I'm saying.
I can't tell you exactly what'sin there the proportions but
it's coming together nicely.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's a what like three new products, and then I'm
also trying to get back intolike utilizing all of the things
that I have.
So now utilizing things thatI've had forever feels new
because I haven't used it inforever.
So I'm like oh, I forgot I hadthis.
Let me try this with this.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
All I know is you was getting ready and I looked over
and I said, oh my god, I saidso excited, bye.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I said is she getting done now?
I am so excited.
I said is she going to do itnow, I am so excited?
I said okay, okay, did you sayit like that?
Yeah, oh, gosh, I appreciatethat.
You look good.
Hey, most kids, thank you,honey, you look great too.
How was your week?
My week was good.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
My week was good.
That's good.
That's good into my.
Why does it feel?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
like you're so much taller than me.
When you're not taller than me,I think, because I'm sitting up
, oh, I was like I'm notslouching.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I was like you are not taller than me.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I was like but you look like you love here because
I'm sitting up.
That's cool.
My week was good, okay, youknow, tell me about it D-May.
Well, there's not much toreport.
I'm, I have a schedule, so Ipretty much stick to the same
schedule every week.
Okay, okay, but yeah.
So I mean it was good, nothingout of the ordinary.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
talking face, hair, ass and titties.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, yes, yes, because my ass was clapping.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Okay, too much, but I mean overall it was Sorry I got
distracted.
Overall it was good.
I mean overall it was Sorry Igot distracted.
Overall it was good.
It was productive.
What did you do that wasproductive?
D-may, you know what?
I'm holding tweezers in my lefthand.
Okay, I don't want to have tostab you.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So you're going to threaten me on tape?
I am.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh, okay, no, I didn't threaten you.
I said I don't want to have to.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I didn't say that she wasn't productive.
I was saying, like tell thepeople how you were productive.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
You know, with the gym, with home, with our child,
I may be getting her gains inthe gym dog.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
We got to give her credit y'all.
She be in there looking like awhole snack yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I am dealing with a little bit of like.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I was hoping we didn't have to go I am dealing
with a little bit of like Idon't want to say injury because
it's not injured, but I don'tknow if it's just like
inflammation of the rotator cupor the um, the elbow or whatever
.
But I'm gonna get it checkedout just to make sure.
Only because I have recentlymade um a new goal, created a
(05:02):
new goal and I'm not people.
I'm not going to tell anybodyjust yet.
I'm not ready to say it yetI'll tell them no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I guess I'm not Sorry guys.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
But it just involves my training.
Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
This just in.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Nisha G has a secret.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It's not a secret.
It's not a secret.
I just don't it out loud likethat just yet.
But I start my training forwhat my goal is on Monday,
tomorrow.
But I'm excited, but I'm also alittle so excited.
(05:37):
So excited, shut up, I'mexcited, but I'm also a little
bummed.
Why?
Because I feel like I'm excited, but I'm also a little bummed.
Why?
Because I feel like I'm notstarting out at 100%.
It don't matter, you're goingto get there, because my elbow,
my arm, my wrist and my indexfinger are all not on my left
(05:58):
arm or not.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But what you have to understand is, even though, that
you may not be starting at 100%.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean technically.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm not starting at a hundred percent anywhere but
even if you, if you go in therewith 20, you're saying you're
doing better than most, becausesome people ain't giving 10 yeah
, that's some people ain'tgiving five.
Yeah, you're right, you knowsome people, so I've seen people
walk in and walk out.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah I'm excited to have bench press every week,
though.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
You have it every week now.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, no, I'm excited to have it, like every week
Okay are you done with your week, really Okay.
Are you done with your week?
My husband is.
He's such a hater and acopycatter Like he wants to be
me so bad.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
No, I want to be in you.
So bad, you caught that wrong.
I don't want to be you.
I want to be any of you.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
He's my biggest hater and my biggest supporter all at
the same time.
I just want to clap while thatass claps.
Anyway, but yeah, so I'mexcited.
I'm excited for the new week.
We have competition coming upagain this weekend.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yes, yes, yes, and it's our last competition of the
season.
Let the people know what thewager is on the table.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Oh, okay.
So our kid wants a new pet.
She has been asking for a cator a dog, and so I told her, if
she scored a nine or higher intwo events and she placed in
three events at award ceremonythat I will take her the very
(07:26):
next day.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Not the next day.
Well, not the next day becauseshe works.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, but I will take her that fall, whichever
following weekend and I willtake her to the pet shop and she
can pick out whatever dog shelikes, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And she already said it has to be a girl.
Yeah, she wants it a girl andthe name will be Princess.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And I said that's fine, fine, but you have to
deliver on your end.
And so my friend was like girl,you know you're gonna get her
the dog, even if she doesn't doit.
And I said, girl, you don'tknow me because I'm not she.
You really don't know me.
I said, because as soon as, assoon as it's out of her mind,
she's not gonna think about it.
I said trust me, but I.
But the only reason I said thedog is because I know that I'm
going to be the one that's goingto be here, with the dog being
(08:10):
a puppy.
So I don't mind being here witha puppy, but I'm not going to
be here in this house by myselfwith no dang on kitten during
the day.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
You only have to take care of the puppy like three
days out the week.
Okay, you, okay, you say thatmaybe four, monday, tuesday you
say that Monday, tuesday, yeah,monday, tuesday, wednesday, most
of the days, because I mean Ican walk the dog on the rest of
the days.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I just, yeah, I hear that right, it's on record.
Yeah, it's cool.
Okay, just my week was cool man, you know I wasn't dealt with
mine, but I'm sorry, no, I'mjoking, I'm teasing you.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Go ahead lingering.
I'm teasing you, go aheadLingering.
Oh my God, my week was cool.
I'm excited because I'm backdown to my pre-baby weight.
Mm-hmm.
You know, mm-hmm, I didn'tthink I'd get here, and now I
hope she don't get pregnantbecause I just got I know, wow I
worked so hard to get thispre-baby weight off me.
Goodbye, you know so so thatwas exciting.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I love how he says it , like he's the one that would
carry the kid.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Well, I didn't carry the kid, but I carried the extra
calories.
I don't think us dads getcredit for that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, don't worry, y'all be having them cravings.
I've got that under control,don't worry about that Y'all be
having them cravings.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I'm like I couldn't let my money go to waste.
You didn't want to go waste.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Okay, just the chili cheese fries, but you didn't eat
like the pickles and the cheesefries and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And the pecan pies.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I didn't eat pecan pies.
Oh, you didn't eat the pecanpies, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Or the jalapeno chips .
Yeah, you know, by the timey'all hear this, I'll be back at
work.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
He's so excited about it, guys, you know, so excited,
so excited.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
And you know it is what it is.
It's something that happens.
I knew it was going to happen,so I'm not that mad about it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Goodbye, Jamil.
I knew it was coming.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I knew it was going to happen eventually, so I'm not
that mad about it.
So it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And we're grateful.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, I'm very, very grateful for my job Not the
people there, but my job.
Bye.
I did get some bad news aboutthe schedule.
Changes to the gym schedule.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
That we will no longer be working out together.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
No, not hers, Hers.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Oh hers.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, you know they trying to mess with our date
nights and I don't appreciatethat.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, because we have date nights on Fridays and they
trying to man.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
this is my week.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Oh sorry, Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You know.
So they're trying to.
They done changed the scheduleso now we not be able to have
date nights on Friday becauseI'm not paying for child care
and but other than that it'sbeen a really good and she can't
stay home by herself.
I mean she can, I seven, we canhave Mario check on ours.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh, that's not going to be a thing, but overall it's
been solid.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It was not the last week before work I wanted, but I
got through it.
I wanted a relaxing week and Ihave been busy every day.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I mean, that's life.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That's what all the people say.
Yeah, that's life.
We were not on the same page,but what we got today, booskies-
oh well, it's the first of themonth, y'all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So y'all know it's our two cents, Our two cents.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Our two cents.
The next our two cents episodewill actually be an anniversary
of our two cents, so it might bewe might have to tell our own
stories.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Of our two cents.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool.
See, and we can give y'all four, or maybe you guys can like
write in with your two cents.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Because you know we might give y'all four or five
scenarios that we went throughin our actual relationship and
y'all tell us who was wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I mean, I know I was right.
Oh, what's that game where youhave two truths and a lie?
I don't know what it's called.
Maybe we'll do I we'll tell twotruths and a lie.
Then you guys got to figure outwhich one is the lie.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh okay, Well, you do that.
I can tell y'all who was lyingyou.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But it is an R2 Sense .
R2 Sense episode.
You guys know, at the beginningof every month it is a reaction
video.
So it's all things likereaction, relationship Reaction,
kids, in-laws, all of the above.
And you guys seem to reallylike the Our Two Cents segment.
So we just want to give youwhat it is.
You like, everything you like,okay, and what you like, hey,
(12:15):
what you like, hey, hey, hey.
If you can't see me, it'sbecause I'm dancing, so you got
to watch this on YouTube, thenyou can see my dance moves.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It's not that impressive.
It's not that impressive.
I forgot which button it wasfor.
Are you Done?
Are you Done?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
No, I wasn't done.
Are you Done?
No, I wasn't done.
Okay, well, maybe I am done.
Okay, whatever you know what.
Whatever, let's get it Allright.
So here we dead.
Okay, well, maybe I am dead.
Okay, whatever you know what.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Whatever, I don't want to do anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Let's get it All right so here we go, you ready.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
All right, am I the asshole for breaking up with my
boyfriend because of his mom?
Before I even read it, I'mgoing to be like no, because
that could be a reason to justget rid of anybody.
All right, so I was dating myboyfriend for almost a month and
things were great until I methis mom Until I met his mom
(13:12):
Around Thanksgiving.
I went to his house for dinnerand his mom was acting weird
towards me.
Later we had to go to thegrocery store and I got in the
front seat.
His mom looked at me and saidget out, you're not special.
Oh, sit in the back.
I was shocked, but I didn'twant to start anything, so I
moved.
But the whole drive she keptgoing on about how I wasn't
(13:35):
special, I wasn't his wife and Ididn't deserve to sit in his
front seat.
I looked at my boyfriendwaiting for him to say something
and he said absolutely nothing.
By the time we got to the storeI was pissed, so I called an
Uber and I went home.
About a week later his momtexted me, calling me a bitch
for just leaving them there andnot checking in.
I told her that I wasn't tryingto be disrespectful, but I
(13:57):
wasn't about to toleratedisrespect from anyone else
either.
Fast forward to yesterday.
My boyfriend and I went on adate and his phone was blowing
up.
When he answered I could hearhis mom yelling at him and
calling me names.
I told him to hang up becauseonce again I felt disrespected
and once again he did nothing.
Today I agreed to hang out withhis mom to try to get closer.
(14:20):
She started talking about howher son was her baby, how much
she loved him, so on and so on.
So I calmly bought up how Ifelt disrespected before and she
went off on me.
At that point I was done.
When I got home I told myboyfriend the relationship
wasn't going anywhere and thatit wasn't going to work.
I tried being respectful, Itried to make it work, but I'm
not going to sit here and bedisrespected by his mother while
(14:41):
he sits there and does nothingand watches it happen.
So am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
not at all, not at all.
This seemed like one of themsuch a much she's probably a
single mom and her son is herboy, is her man or well, you
know how they be talking about.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like boy moms, like that's your, yes, that's your
baby, but he a man, he a man.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
He can't be in a relationship with you the way he
did with her, because my mamafelt like you wasn't good enough
for me.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
No, your mom felt like I came in and took you too.
Yes, and I have a best friendwho's married, and she's been
married for like 16 years, andat the beginning of their
relationship, his mother feltthe exact same way.
And his mother said the exactsame thing to her.
She was like I'm his mom, likeyou're going to be here for a
short time, I'm your mom, relax.
How'd I work out?
How'd?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I work out for her In your mom's the same way.
How'd I work out?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
for her Right.
16 years later, 16 years, twokids, three states, four homes.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And 27 pets.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Right, right.
So that's why I say like andhere's the thing, I not a, I'm
not a boy mom, so I don't.
But if I was a boy mom, like ifI try to put my, if I was like,
oh my gosh, I have a boy, I cankind of see where that would
come from.
But on the same token, it'slike I would love to see my, my,
my son have a woman that he isfond of, that he treats good,
(15:58):
that he respects.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I don't, i't understand.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
My issue is not with the mother.
He ain't your man.
My issue is not with the mother.
Okay, it was with him, with theboyfriend, right?
Because you need to set theboundary to let your mother know
that, mom, this is the personI'm with.
I'm not going to allow you todisrespect the person I'm with.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Right and right.
She's not my wife, but this issomebody who could potentially
be my wife.
Here's how.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I think of it First of all.
She's not the asshole.
She should have left, becauseyou can't foster anything
positive out of that dynamic.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But here's what the mother should have been thinking
what if they do last long term?
Right, and now you done, madean enemy of your so-called
daughter-in-law.
And now, when your grandkidscome around and you want to be
in them grandkids' life, and sheput up hurdles.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because we all know thegrandkids mostly go with the
(16:54):
maternal grandparents, right,right, we, you know, boy moms,
boys leave home, yeah, and webarely come back.
Really, babe so, and we barelycome back, but she's not the
asshole for that yeah, I agree,not the asshole not at all.
I mean, I would have cussed mymom out no, I would have done
(17:16):
what she.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I would have done what she did.
I mean, we just left.
No, I would have.
First, I would have left andthen came back and had the
conversation, because I know inthe moment if that was happening
to me.
In the moment, the only thingthat I'm working off of is
reaction.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I'm not.
You know what I mean.
Like part of me, because of whoI am, I will try to like, calm
myself down, but I wouldn't.
I don't think I would be ableto hold back the, and you know,
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to put him in thatsituation.
I don't want to do that Becausethink about it For him it was
already uncomfortable, becausein his mind he's already
(17:49):
thinking like mom, come on.
Like mom, please, please.
But he's not going to tell hismom, mom, lay off.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
I don't know it's just for me.
It shows a lack of Backbone inhim.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, but they were probably young.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Because I don't care.
Yeah, I don't care, I don'tcare how old he is.
Yeah, your spine is your spine.
Yeah, it don't get strongerwith age.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I mean, at some point you got it, you got a man
up as a couple who hadexperienced similar, like a
similar dynamic, where it wasyou having to stick up for me
against your mom.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
And I did it.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And you did, yeah, and you did, and I and we
weren't even married at thattime, we were literally just
dating.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I was married up here in our heads, but no, no, no,
no, no.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I was OK, you were.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I was not married in my head, or in my heart or
everywhere.
Yeah, she didn't love me at all.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But when we were just dating, he absolutely stood up
for me, took my side and wastelling his mom.
You being disrespectful notonly you being disrespectful to
her, but you're also beingdisrespectful to me, because
she's someone who's important tome and I appreciated that
that's not a big deal Now,granted, me and my mother-in-law
have a fabulous relationshipnow Absolutely love her, shouts
(19:00):
out to my mother-in-law.
But yes, I think it's one ofthose things like she's not even
thinking that this could belong term.
She's not even thinking thatthis could potentially be his
wife.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Because if it does become his wife and you don't
get your act together, you couldpotentially not have a
daughter-in-law, a son, yourgrandkids, like all of all of
the above, she might.
She might get them by herselfwhen they put that moose knock
on them and he can't shake free.
Not the moose, not.
You know what I'm saying I'mgonna move on on that, no, but
that moose not going on, boy,it'd be a problem out here in
these streets you know what I'msaying?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm going to move on.
Put that moose nug on them, boy, it'd be a problem out here in
these streets.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I don't Explain.
Put them vice grips.
Uh-huh, rippy grippy, uh-huh.
Is that what A little wet,uh-huh, soak city.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I don't?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I told you, don't?
I told you evil, evil is goodand get yourself a piece of evil
ass, woo, okay, am I theasshole for not wanting to talk
to my husband for fat shaming me?
My husband asked me to take abath with him and I said sure.
(20:26):
Once we were in the bath hesaid quote, can I ask you a
question?
And I said ask away.
He then said what can we do toget you in a proper workout
routine?
Yeah, I don't think that wasbad.
He then brought up that I hadn'tdone a workout this week and
it's because I'm in the busiestseason at work and working late
(20:47):
most days and coming home andstill going and having to cook
and clean and et cetera.
And, for context, I can't workout earlier as I'm already
getting up at 5 am to get readyfor work.
He then shamed me for having arow of chocolate four pieces for
the whole week and said I don'tdeserve it.
And when I said he ate a wholepackage of chips, his response
(21:08):
was I've earned it because I'vegone for my runs every day this
week.
I'm happy he's back into hisfitness and I've always
supported him.
But he takes things to theextreme and then, after a few
months, falls off the bandwagon.
But it's just that he thought Iwas okay to bring it up when I
was naked in front of him.
I never felt so humiliated.
He then proceeded to say thatmy PCOS and previous health
(21:28):
conditions are not to blame ornot an excuse.
Now I'm having anxiety aroundfood and I just don't want to
eat anymore.
But am I the asshole for beingshort off with him and not
really wanting to engage withhim after what he said?
I can normally shake off thethings he does and the things he
says, but something about theway he spoke and looked at me
just got under my skin.
For context, I'm 158centimeters or 68 kilograms.
(21:54):
The kicker.
Two days after the discussion,he bought me a chocolate, as if
I eat it after that.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
So she bought 140 pounds.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
And I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
So here's you.
Go ahead, what's your?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
is she the asshole for?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
basically she's basically giving him the short,
not the silent treatment, butlike the short treatment
basically, she's basicallygiving him the short, not the
silent treatment, but the shorttreatment.
And it's because she's hurt?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
No, she's not an asshole at all.
If anything, he's an asshole.
There's nothing wrong withhaving conversations about your
partner's health or weight ifyou feel like it's a concern,
but there is a time and a placeto do it.
You do not sit there and have aconversation about your
partner's body while they'renaked in front of you, while
they're the most vulnerable, andthen to mention and then to act
(22:44):
like four pieces of chocolateruined the week for the week.
calm down for the week when heate when he ate bags of chips
you're doing too much because hewent for his run and then what
I don't is do not sit here andtalk about previous health
situation and PCOS, as if that'snot a continuous thing that's
going to impact her.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Or a contributing factor.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
This is what I've learned as a man.
I've learned to just shut thefuck up, because what happens in
a woman's body is diabolical.
It is not as easy, it's not thesame, it is not as easy as he
could think it is.
That's why, like you always say, babe, a man, can you know, if
I think about losing weight, Ilose five pounds.
(23:23):
Right, you got to go out thereand take some steps.
I just put some chips down.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
All he got to do is stop drinking soda.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You know it's not, so it's not the same.
We have to understand that.
Because, you know, I do thinkthe science is that women
naturally hold on to more bodyfat because of everything that
your body does to produce otherhumans.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Because you're still going through that process.
Whether you're popping out ababy or not, your body is still
going through that cycle.
That's why we call it a cyclefor you dumb ass men out there.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
It's not just the cycle, is not just seven days
cycle for you dumb ass men outthere.
Oh wow, it's not just the cycleis not just seven days.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We only really feel good two weeks out of a month.
The cycle is just part Like,really like a week.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
The seven days are part of the cycle, yeah, but
that's not the whole cycle.
Yeah, and I think that's what alot of that's what I'm saying
when it comes to a woman's body.
Just shut up.
Now about her weight.
And her health Affecting herhealth, affecting her health?
Yeah, those are conversationsyou can have, but you have to
talk.
Talk to them in a way that youwould be comfortable receiving
(24:21):
it.
You gotta sometimes, you gottahold on.
That might not work.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I was gonna say, because something, I just
thought about that Something.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I just thought about that, that might.
Talk to her in a way that shewill be able to receive it from
a place of love.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And not, like you, attacking or shaming her or
judging her.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Like don't walk in and say, damn babe, how fat you
going to get, diabolical.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Shut up.
Damn babe, how fat you going toget.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Damn babe.
Another chance.
This your fourth matcha today.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Now I feel like you're underlyingly coming for
me.
Okay, now listen, you're doingthe opposite of what you're
saying right now.
I don't even drink matchaanymore, but I used to have a
little bit of a matcha lemonadeproblem back in the day about
five or six years ago.
This your fourth one today.
(25:18):
It wasn't four.
The highest I got up to waslike three Damn babe, potato
Corner again.
Potato Corner had it.
Had you in a chuckle BetweenPotato Corner and Cheese Dogs.
Listen when you work Betweenpotato Quarter and Cheese dogs.
Listen when you work inside ofa mall.
(25:41):
Okay, and if you don't Packyour lunch, and then If you, you
know.
The food court is just rightthere.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Give me some egg rolls from Yard House.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
No, I liked the egg rolls From um.
No, I liked those too's when.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I worked at California Pizza Kitchen.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
No, I liked those too , but when I worked at yeah,
when I worked shut up, when Iworked at Avenue, oh no, those
ones too.
I liked those ones too, butwhen I worked at Avenue and this
was what, 15 years ago, when Iworked at Avenue, I used to like
to go to the little Chineseplace next door and I don't know
what, I don't know they had toput something in those egg rolls
(26:18):
it was two-year-old grease.
It could have been two-year-oldgrease, MSG, PPG.
Whatever it was Not PPG, Idon't know what was in those egg
rolls, but I would legit getlike two orders of egg rolls for
lunch and that would just be mylunch and those egg rolls were
so good?
No, I'm not, but uh, yeah,those egg rolls are really good.
I love a good egg roll.
(26:39):
What are you?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
talking about.
We have egg rolls like everyfriday.
What's your response?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
goodness um, yeah, I, I agree with you.
Um for one.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
What really irritated me was when he said this is the
life after I do podcast, wherewe give two takes.
Oh my gosh, I know that mytakes are always the right ones.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
No, they're not.
They're not.
Get out of my face.
What really irritated me wasthe health concerns, like you
said, when he said don't use.
Basically, he told her don'tuse that as an excuse.
So he's basically saying, likeyou can set all that to the side
, because that's not an excuseas to why you can't lose weight,
as to why you can't lose weight, as to why you can't get into
better shape.
Now, granted, can you get intoa better workout regimen?
(27:20):
Sure, just because you work outdon't mean you lose weight.
Facts.
Can we talk about that?
Like people, people literallybe in there, like trying to
exercise their whole souls away,doing hours of cardio, and
can't lose a pound because,that's not where it's lost
because you're gonna leave andgo eat a mcdouble right.
So it's like when you say thatshe can't use her health
(27:41):
concerns as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure she's not usingthem as an excuse, but it's
also something that she has totake into consideration because
her body is obviously notoperating at its optimal point
to be able to possibly burn whatshe needs to burn, or to get,
you know, for it to function theway it needs to function
essentially, you know, um, soyeah, that really irritated me
(28:03):
and but I didn't, I didn't havea problem with, like when it
first started and she said thathe asked her what can we do to
get you in a proper workoutroutine Like that when I heard
that part to get you in a properworkout routine.
When I heard that part, I waslike, okay, that was fine,
Because if I would have heardthat we're in the bath together,
we're naked, and you were like,so what can we do to help you?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You know what I mean Because that's what.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
What can we do.
Stop Saying what can we domakes me feel like you're kind
of in it with me.
You're in this with me.
Yeah, you're in it with me andyou're coming from a place of
concern, you know.
But when he started with therest of the stuff I said oh no,
that was a setup for failure.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
He's an asshole and as you, being a person who was a
professional Oreo master.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Right, you know it.
That's why I was saying, whenhe started off, I was like okay,
I can see where this is going.
She's probably overreacting.
And then when it kept going, Isaid oh, he didn't Oreo that
well at all.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
The manager and you just came out.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's not that difficult guys you had talking
points for him, huh.
Because it's not that difficult.
It's really not.
It's really not, it's really,really not.
Okay, so let's see what do wehave next.
Okay, am I the asshole forbeing passive, aggressive
towards my husband?
After we overstayed our welcomeat a restaurant, my husband and
(29:27):
I took our three kids five,four and 10 months to a
restaurant to meet up with myhusband's friends and their two
kids, eight and four.
We had some drinks, all enjoyedour meal and then we paid our
bills.
My husband then got up andmoved his chair to the other end
of the table where the othercouple were sitting, essentially
cutting me off from theconversation.
While I sat in the corner withthe baby, she was getting fussy
(29:49):
after probably about 90 minutesin a restaurant not being able
to move around, and it wasgetting close to bedtime at that
point.
I'm dealing with her while theother four kids are being rowdy
and running between nearbytables.
We made a reservation and theyhad us seated in a far corner
where no one else was seated offseason in a tiny tourist town,
so they weren't directlybothering other people, but I
(30:09):
was still getting irritated byit.
Regardless, I had the baby whowas fighting me, and the three
other grown adults could handlethe other kids.
The baby is now growing morefussy, becoming totally
unsettled and has started crying.
It's been over two hours sincewe had arrived at the restaurant
.
I make a comment about how ourwaitress is putting up chairs in
one of the other sections ofthe restaurant.
(30:29):
Another 15 minutes or so goesby.
The kids are still being rowdy,the baby is fully crying and
I'm just disassociating from thewhole situation at this point.
Finally, the waitress comesover and tells us that they're
closing up.
I tell her thank you andmention how the others weren't
able to take a hint.
She laughs it off and assuresme that it's OK.
Everyone finally gets up toleave and I say to my husband I
(30:59):
don't know why you didn't justinvite them over instead.
I pointed out how the kids aremisbehaving and the baby is
crying.
He gets annoyed and asked why Ijust didn't speak up.
I point out how I was cut offfrom the conversation and how I
didn't really want to be the oneto cut off any of the
conversations between him andhis friends, but I'm not really
sure why he thought it wasappropriate to stay for so long
when we have three kids.
We live three minutes away fromthe restaurant and his friends
could have easily just broughttheir kids over to the house for
a bit.
I was definitely passive,aggressive in the way I spoke at
(31:21):
this point, but I felt that itwas ridiculous to me how he
never once noticed or thoughtthat the situation was less than
ideal.
He's mad at me for not speakingup when I wanted to leave, but
I feel like, as my partner, heshould have been able to read
the room and speak up on his ownat his own friends.
So am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yes and no.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
That's what I say.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Yes, because you are assuming that he saw what you
saw.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
No, you're upset that he didn't see what you saw that
he didn't experience what youexperience.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
It sounds like he was .
My initial reaction is that hegot up and moved so he wouldn't
have to yell to talk to thefriends.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, and the kids were in the way.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
He wasn't trying to exclude you and then, not only
that, that, he was enjoying theinteraction with his friends
Right Now.
I believe all of this, thiswhole rant you just wrote on the
internet could have beenavoided if, like you said, you
would have spoke up.
Have been avoided if, like yousaid, you would have spoke up,
(32:21):
because, obviously, if I'mengaging in conversation with
someone and I'm enjoying theconversation, I'm not really
paying attention to mysurroundings as much.
So I'm not going to notice awaitress putting chairs up,
because she's a waitress, that'sher job to touch chairs or
whatever she's doing, and I'mjust enjoying the company of my
friends.
I'm not necessarily trackingthe time.
Okay, right.
So I do believe that, and youare an asshole in this instance
(32:43):
because you could have just saidsomething Right Now.
You're not an asshole for yourfeelings, but, again, you are
responsible for your feelingsand if you would have relayed
your feelings in the moment orsuggested that you guys move the
entertainment or the fun backto your residence, most of this
could have been avoided.
I think this is just one ofthem.
(33:07):
Situations where I felt like,if the man is driving, like OG
Tripp said, if the man isdriving and the wall is there.
You speak up, so you don't hitthe wall.
You should have said somethingbefore you got to the point to
where you were this angry aboutit.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But, nigga, if you driving and you don't see the
wall, Baby, it's a reference, Iknow.
But I shouldn't have to tellyou it's a wall right there and
not you saying no it.
Okay.
Listen, this is what gets meOkay.
Okay, what gets you.
This is what gets me Okay.
First thing Okay, you got upfrom your seat.
(33:45):
Okay, and you went to go sitwith your friends.
Okay, you automaticallyexcluded me from the
conversation.
You gonna move?
Nope.
You automatically excluded mefrom the conversation.
I was sitting there with our10-month-old baby.
You got up.
Were you nursing?
You got up from Don't startthat shit.
You got up from beingside-by-side with me.
You left me, okay.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
You left me.
That's dramatic.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
You left.
You left me.
That is dramatic.
You left me to go sit with yourfriends and until the
restaurant closed.
So that's the remaining theremaining evening.
You left me at the other end ofthe table with our 10 month old
, by myself, not able to engagein the conversation, and you
(34:30):
thought that was okay.
Not once did you turn aroundand be like babe you good.
Not once did you say babe, comedown here and sit with us.
To be like babe you good.
Not once did you say babe, comedown here and sit with us.
You were perfectly fine downthere talking to another couple.
You came as a couple and youleft your partner back there
with the baby Hold on.
Not done.
I didn't interrupt you.
We have three children.
(34:51):
Okay, three children.
We came to a restaurant.
They had two, we have three.
There's five kids.
Kids is running amok.
Y'all so enveloped in theconversation that no one has
said y'all need to sit down.
No one has said let's get outof here.
Why does that have to be juston me when I'm the one sitting
(35:11):
over there with the 10-month-oldbut there's three other adults
who have eyes, who have ears,other adults who have eyes, who
have ears.
You can.
That just goes to show that youguys were so unbothered by any
and everything else into yourconversation.
Snap out of it into your convertbecause you're like sitting
there staring off into the abyss.
(35:32):
I'm looking, I'm listening.
Um, you guys, you guys werejust sitting over there for
listening.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
No, you were staring into the abyss.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Um, you guys, you guys were just sitting over
there for listening.
No, you weren't.
You were staring into the abyss.
Um, you guys were sitting downthere, engaged in the
conversation, not worried aboutanything else around you, and it
left me to have to deal with it.
So, yes, I'm going to beannoyed.
I'm annoyed because you're myhusband, you're my partner, and
I'm sure.
But here's the thing, becauseyou're my husband, you're my
partner, and again, I'm sure.
(35:58):
But here's the thing.
I think what's frustrating, too, is because you it is safe to
say that this probably hashappened at home as well, and so
now it translated to being outin public, but we're not talking
about the past.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
We're talking about this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Okay, we're not Stop it, stop it.
We're not talking about thepast.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
He should have been a little bit more mindful as a
partner as a husband, you knowwhy she was really bothered,
because the 10 month old and,like I said, if she would have
said something but that's theproblem.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That's literally the problem what I'm saying.
Why would she have to saysomething, maurice?
There wasn't.
She wouldn't come by herself.
And then there was two otheradults but as her partner as her
.
You could have also been likebabe, come down here.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Babe, do you want me to take the baby for a little
bit?
Speaker 2 (36:41):
You sat there and ignored the baby, and this is
what he thought.
He thought to himself the babyis with his mom.
My wife got it.
That's what you do to me.
My wife got it.
That's what you do to me whenyou leave.
She's not 10 months old.
When she was 10 months, old.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
she was with her daddy, I was at work.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It don't matter, you left me Goodbye, you left me
Moving on.
You left me Moving on Because,see this, y'all know this is
what he does.
When he knows that I have avalid point, he tries.
This is it doesn't matter howyou slice the cake.
It doesn't matter how you slicethe cake.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
I like pie or cheesecake.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Cheesecake pie.
It doesn't matter how you sliceit.
He got up from his chair.
He removed his ass from hischair.
He walked to the other end ofthe table.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I even think the other end of the table is
dramatic, because there's onlynine of them.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Okay, that's not dramatic.
So he walked like six feet away.
It's at minimum two tablespushed together.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
He walked six feet away Okay.
And this is why men say y'alljust don't want us to see us.
Y'all don't want to see ushappy If y'all not happy.
It has nothing to do with youbeing happy.
He was over there happy, havinga good time chopping it up with
his buddy, but because you feltleft out.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Now if he would have told you to scoot your chair
closer and the kids was overhere, you wouldn't have had a
problem with that.
Okay.
But because he didn't do that,but didn't I say that, didn't I
say.
I said, even if he would havesaid, babe, you need help, you
give me the baby, or why don'tyou come down here with us?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
You an asshole?
Okay, that's my take.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
She.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
No, I'm not ready.
No, I'm not ready Because youknow now you got me fired up.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Okay, be fired up.
That's what happens when yousound silly.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I'm about to knock if you buck.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Go ahead.
Okay, ready for this one.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
No, but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Okay, I cheated on my husband.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Okay, I cheated on my husband and was honest with him
.
When the DNA test came backthat he was not the father of
our child, we were planning towork things out but I would have
to give up the baby foradoption.
I didn't think that it wasright that he was making me
choose between him and my child.
He says he's going to divorceme if I keep the baby.
(38:53):
But our marriage vows are forbetter or for worse.
Baby, but our marriage vows arefor better or for worse.
What kind of low life husbandwould leave his wife to be a
single mother if she doesn'twant to give up her child for
adoption?
All I've been was a good womanto that man.
I am so confused.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
I want to know how she's a good woman.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Diabolical that she put that I've been a good woman
to that man.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She literally got a baby outside her marriage.
She didn't care about theviolence, but she wanted him to
Diabolical.
This can't be real.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Forsaking all others.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Where do you find these fake stories at?
This can't be real.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
She wants to know.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
First of all, First of all, Look here.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
What's your two cents ?
Speaker 1 (39:35):
on this.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
What is your two cents, Mr Gil, on this situation
?
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Look here when she would have told me that she
cheated on me and that she knowfor a fact that the baby not
mine.
I would have just packed up andleft Baby.
That's not what the vows say,yeah yeah, that's not what the
vows say.
The vows say love, honor andcherish.
That's what it starts with Love, honor and cherish.
I have loved you, I havecherished you, I have honored
(40:00):
you.
You may have loved me while youwas cheating I did but you
dishonored me by cheating and bygetting pregnant out of wedlock
.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
But she was thinking about him, okay?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
So there, let me tell you what.
And you're not a single mother.
Go ahead and tell that babyfather to marry you, to marry
you and help you take care ofyour kids, and then y'all can be
a family.
Don't come here with this bull.
This ain't real.
This cannot be real.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Whether it's real or not.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
DeMille.
People just be writing shit onthe internet to write it.
People just be writing Come onnow.
This cannot be real.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
What.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
This is diabolical.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I just think the diabolical part is her saying
that I have been a good woman tohim.
No, she not how you cheated onhim.
Like I'm so confused and Iguarantee you she young.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I'm so confused.
Well, you know, nowadays theseyoung people have grown
accustomed to you know.
Side pieces.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I love how you say young people like you're that
damn old.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
I'm seasoned.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I'm like when did we get to this?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Look here.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
These young people.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Look here.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
You're only like 10 or 15 years older than them.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Look here, I'm about to be 40.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I'm about to be 40.
We're in a year and a half.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I'm about to be 40, but my soul is 85.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Okay, your soul doesn't have an age, but okay.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
My soul is 85.
I've been here before.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Ergo, your soul doesn't have an age.
What's?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
your two cents.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
My two cents is it's ridiculous.
It's just ridiculous.
Oh, but you did so.
Do you think it's fair, Likehe's willing to work things out
with her, but she got to get rid?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
of the baby.
What's your thoughts about that?
Like would you say, Iunderstand his train of thought
okay, because here's the thingthat's fair to ask.
Yes, I do and let me tell youwhy yes, did you see how excited
he got?
Yes, I do, yes, I do becausewhat I'm not gonna do is be
reminded daily of yourindiscretions of your
indiscretions.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Of your indiscretions and then raise somebody else's
baby.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
And now you want me to raise.
And now you got yourindiscretion, calling me daddy.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
He can call you Terrell.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Okay, but the thing is that, no, he better than me
because I wouldn't be in thechild's life at all.
No At all, really At all,really At all.
Oh, I'd be like Hall Thomas Atall At all At all.
Okay, we got time for one more.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Alright, alright, here we go.
He forgot to log out and Iwatched my marriage fall apart
in real time.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Oh my God, okay, here we go.
Is this one real or just fake?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
It's on the internet, Like the things that people
write on the internet and writein.
We don't know if it's real ornot.
Okay, I don't, let's see.
Oh no, let me just start here.
Okay, I've been married to myhusband for six years.
We met in our mid-20s.
We had one of the sweetest,most steady relationships
Nothing overly dramatic orpassionate, Just, comfortable
and safe.
We were best friends, planningour future.
(43:04):
I thought we were solid, God, Ithought we were solid, but
apparently I've been an idiot.
I found out that he's beencheating in the dumbest, most
ridiculous way possible.
He forgot to log out of hisemail.
I wasn't even snooping, Iwasn't looking for anything.
I was just sitting on the couchlast night, half asleep, and he
was on his laptop, probablypaying bills or checking sports
(43:25):
scores or whatever.
He closed it and then, when hewas done, he went to bed before
me, like he always does.
So I didn't think twice aboutit, but then, maybe an hour
later, I needed to check myemail.
My laptop was dead and his wassitting right there.
So I grabbed it real quick andI figure I just open a new tab
to log into my email to check mypackage trackings and my email,
(43:45):
Except the second.
I moved the mouse, the screenlit up and there it was an open
email thread with someone namedSamantha.
My stomach dropped.
I don't know why I clicked onit.
Maybe I already knew deep down.
Maybe some sick part of meneeded to see it with my own
eyes.
What I saw made my blood runcold.
(44:06):
She had sent him a picture notfully naked, but enough to make
me feel like the room wasspinning and his response, his
response, was God, I can't stopthinking about the other night.
I wish I was in your bed rightnow instead of at home, At home
With me.
I felt like I was going to throwup.
My ears were ringing, my facewas hot and I was just staring
(44:27):
at the words trying to processthem.
It didn't feel real.
I wanted to close the laptop,pretend I never saw it, crawl
into the bed next to him and goback to the life that I thought
I had, but I didn't.
I scrolled and scrolled andscrolled.
Months, months of emails, ofmeetups, of I miss you and I
(44:48):
wish I could see you.
And I hate sneaking around.
And the worst part, she knewabout me.
She wasn't some clueless womanwho had no idea that he was
married.
She mentioned me by name Someof the conversation.
I can't wait until you leaveher.
Have you told her yet?
Are you really still sleepingwith her?
That's disgusting.
(45:09):
If you love me, why are youstill there?
That last one, the last one,made my vision blurry.
The last one where she said ifyou love me, why are you still
there?
I don't even remember closingthe laptop.
I don't remember getting up.
The next thing I knew I wasstanding at the foot of our bed
looking down at him while heslept so peacefully, like he
hadn't just destroyed everythingthat we've built together.
(45:31):
I wanted to wake him up andscream in his face.
I wanted to throw ice water onhim, slap him, smash him with
his goddamn laptop, push hishead up against the wall.
But I didn't.
I just stood there because inthat moment I realized I wasn't
looking at my husband anymore.
I was looking at a liar, astranger and someone I thought I
(45:51):
knew, but clearly never did.
I barely slept that night.
I just laid there staring atthe ceiling, feeling like I was
suffocating.
By the time the sun came up, Ihad already made my decision.
I got up, got dressed, packed abag.
I didn't even care if he wokeup before me and saw what I was
doing.
But before I walked out of thedoor I went back to his laptop,
pulled up the email and typedone last message to Samantha,
which was you can have him.
Then I shut the laptop, grabbedmy bag and I left.
(46:11):
That was 24 hours ago and Ihaven't answered any of his
calls.
I haven't answered any of hiscalls.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
I haven't answered any of his texts and I don't
even know what the hell I'msupposed to do next.
Any advice?
I ain't got none.
I mean you did.
I don't believe this is real.
She's got on here and wrote awhole graphic novel, this detail
.
Come on now.
Here's my thing, if this isreal, if this is real, if this
(46:40):
is real, I got.
I got two takes.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
First take is your.
Your relationship wasn't,wasn't what you thought it was.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Right and you probably, you guys probably had
trouble and he probably tried totalk to you, or maybe he didn't
try to talk to you and he wentelsewhere.
And the fact that he strung oldgirl along meant that he liked
what she did physically, but hedidn't like her that way.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Like he loves you, his wife, but he likes what
Samantha does.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Like our good friend Julie's uncle said you'll never
be my wife.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
You could never have that position, never, never, the
position that you play.
Stay in your lane, yep, that'sit.
You're not my wife.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Stay in your lane and you can never come from that
position, you'll never be whereshe's at Right, and a lot of men
have this mentality, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
You know it's wife.
Right I go to work for her.
Right I pay you for your time.
It's different, you may youkeep me you keep me evened out
so that I can do the things forher that I like to do.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And so.
But I also say I always say,well, I don't, I do not condone
cheating.
I do feel like is a byproductof searching for something they
weren't receiving in the, intheir main relationship.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
So maybe not even in the relationship or whatever
themselves.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Right.
So I felt like it was somethingthat she, there was something
that she, that the other womanwas filling in him Pause,
fulfilling, fulfilling in him,pause, um that made him continue
this or even made him pursuethis, and I don't understand why
you're surprised that she knewabout you.
Most of these women know aboutthe and they don't care that
(48:24):
they don't care for them.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
It's a, it's like a it means nothing.
Yeah, for them it's like a um,like ha ha, you thought you had
a, but I can have you a man, andhe's I'm.
It's a game.
It's a game for men, it's agame for women too.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Also, some women don't want to be the men.
Some women are content withhaving a roster.
A lot of women play the samegame as men.
They got to line up, they gotto start in five.
They out here just passing onSTDs.
I don't know why y'all do it.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Not STDs.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
You know.
But, yeah, I would say thatyou're entitled to feel the way
you feel.
Any person will be hurt, anyperson will feel betrayed,
especially if you were led tobelieve everything is perfect,
everything was good.
And I'd also say that this ispossibly don't be down on
(49:17):
yourself, cause this doesn't.
It also is also a possibilitythat you did nothing.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
That's why I said it's not necessarily what he
wasn't getting from hisrelationship, it's just
something within himself.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Yeah, it could be that you did nothing.
It's sometimes.
Sometimes you know you reallylove Fuji apples, but then a
Honeycrisp roll along.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Oh, my gosh gosh.
You and your analogies areterrible.
Let me just bite this honeycrisp apple for a second.
No, you know, I mean no, um Inormally.
I normally go for a gala I thinkfor me, I'm gonna go ahead and
eat this honey crisp.
What when she's talked aboutthe relationship in the
beginning that it wasn't overlydramatic or passionate?
What was?
That's what she said.
(49:58):
They're in the beginning of therelationship.
She said they were just twokids trying to plan their future
.
They had a normal, saferelationship.
Oh, wasn't dangerous.
So it wasn't dramatic, wasn'tspicy?
She said it wasn't dramatic, itwasn't passionate, it was safe
and comfortable.
So they started out in a safeand comfortable situation, right
(50:23):
.
And then they go into marriage,right, and now we're.
Not only did we already startoff at safe and comfortable Okay
, for those of you who have, whoare in a marriage and who have
been married for I don't know,five, seven plus years, the
routine of living with someone,doing life with someone on a
(50:44):
continuous basis, it can become,um, like daunting.
It can become like, okay, I dowant, I want something like, I
want to feel something.
You know what I mean?
Like shut up, want to.
Some people look for thatexcitement and if you're not
actively putting that into yourrelationship, it's not hard for
something outside of yourrelationship to seem exciting,
(51:08):
right?
So if they already started in arelationship that didn't have a
lot of drama, wasn't passionateand, to her words, was safe and
comfortable.
And then you pile five or sixyears of marriage on top of that
, where it's just go to work,pay bills.
We go out to eat every once ina while.
We have sex, maybe two times aweek.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Like everything Two times a week.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Stop it.
Things you know, things justbecome routine, and it's the
routine.
If not interrupted every oncein a while?
The routine is what can get you.
I think we should do a whole-.
Some people thrive in routine.
I like routine, I like routine,but I mean as far as-.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
But you got to throw in the oddities in there.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like we know, if we go too manytimes without like having a
date night-.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
But hold on, but hold on or doing something exciting.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
We're both kind of like.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Oh, I need to do something, but we have
implemented our date nights intoour routine, so so we get mad
when it's interrupted.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Right, but what I'm saying is is, like you know,
like that period of time beforewe started doing our date nights
where I was just like wehaven't done anything, we
haven't gone anywhere.
We haven't done anything.
Everything Every day is thesame thing get up, make
breakfasts, make lunch, you goto work, she goes to school, I
(52:28):
come home, I clean, I do this, Igo get her, take her to
practice.
You the mail, clean the mailjust playing y'all.
I swear I'm gonna stab you umsix times.
But yeah, it's just like it canbe the routine, and sometimes
the routine just needs to beinterrupted.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
You know, the thing is is that A lot of people think
that marriage is the endproduct, where marriage is
really just it's.
It's really the next chapter,but it's like any type of
(53:00):
progress, you have to implementthe things you learned before in
your current chapter.
So, once you get married, youstill have to have your dates,
you still have to have yourtrips, do exciting stuff.
You still have to have theconversation.
Now, granted, it gets hard tohave conversation when you've
been with someone so long,because I can't tell you, you
can't teach old dogs new tricks.
I can't tell this one about mychildhood again, I mean, she
(53:22):
done heard it.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
I mean you can, but she done heard it plenty of
times.
You can Just tell it to us, butthis is why you guys go out.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
This is why I feel like it's also important for you
guys to not separate lives, butsomething for yourself, right?
Speaker 2 (53:38):
not cheating, though, because he'll be like I got.
I do have something for myselfI got samantha, I ain't talking
about that.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I got okay, hold on have something for yourself that
you're willing to tell yourpartner.
Put it that way, because thatway, you, you guys, you're,
you're, you're, you engage inconversation.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
You, uh, are spending time together yeah, it gives
you something to talk about, andso you have to.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
It's it's weird to say, but you have to constantly
be growing together, because ifyou don't grow together, you'll
grow apart, like my plant overthere oh my god, this is because
it hasn't been watered so it'sgoing like this has been another
growing up together and then Ididn't water them for a week and
now they're growing like that.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I'm a water it.
When we're done with this, putit in the sun for a little bit.
Oh, it's supposed to rain today.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Till next time.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Till next time.
This has been another episodeOf the Life After I Do podcast.
If you're not doing so already,you can follow us on all of our
social media platforms At LifeAfter I Do podcast.
Don't forget, you can alwayswrite in to us At Life After I
Do podcast At gmailcom.
New episodes are happeningevery Wednesday, guys, and until
(54:57):
then, peace booskies.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Newpodcasts at gmailcom.
New episodes are happeningevery Wednesday, guys, and until
then, peace booskies.
Yeah, so why you trying to be a vibe today?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
What I'm a vibe every day.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You look really good.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis short, oh gosh.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis motherfucker short.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I appreciate that.
Is it the lip?
Because I didn't go?
Speaker 1 (00:14):
with a nude lip.
Today, it's everything.
It's giving face hair asstitties.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Face hair ass titties .
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
It's giving.
I'm about to give you some too,thanks.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Hey everybody and welcome back to another episode
of the Life After I Do podcast.
Yes, for the next 25 minutes toan hour you'll be kicking it
with Nisha Jamalito, as you doevery Wednesday.
(01:08):
Hey everybody, welcome.
Woo-hoo, a second clap, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Because they're kicking it with Nisha Jamalito
every Wednesday.
We haven't really had food yet,so Not you trying to be a vibe
today.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
What I'm a vibe every day.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
You look really good.
Thanks, we might have to cutthis short.
Oh gosh, thanks.
We might have to cut thismotherfucker short.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
I appreciate that.
Is it the lip?
Because I didn't go?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
with a nude lip.
Today it's giving face hair asstitties.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Face hair hair ass titties.
Face hair ass titties.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Thanks it's giving.
I'm about to give you some too.
You know what?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I, so I did try new products.
You know me and my I'm alwaystrying new products and I tried
a new, some new products todayand then without fail.
I feel like every time I trysomething new or put something
new on my face, you don't knowwhat it is but you just know
it's something different and yoube like, yeah, you look good, I
don't know what it is, but youdid something different.
(02:16):
I don't know what you gotcooking Right, but it's a new
blush, it's a new powder.
I don't know everything that'sin the pot but it's coming
together nicely.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I appreciate it.
You know what I'm saying.
I can't tell you exactly what'sin there the proportions but
it's coming together nicely.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
It's a what like three new products, and then I'm
also trying to get back intolike utilizing all of the things
that I have.
So now utilizing things thatI've had forever feels new
because I haven't used it inforever.
So I'm like oh, I forgot I hadthis.
Let me try this with this.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
All I know is you was getting ready and I looked over
and I said, oh my god, I saidso excited, bye.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
I said is she getting done now?
I am so excited.
I said is she going to do itnow, I am so excited?
I said okay, okay, did you sayit like that?
Yeah, oh, gosh, I appreciatethat.
You look good.
Hey, most kids, thank you,honey, you look great too.
How was your week?
My week was good.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
My week was good.
That's good.
That's good into my.
Why does it feel?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
like you're so much taller than me.
When you're not taller than me,I think, because I'm sitting up
, oh, I was like I'm notslouching.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
I was like you are not taller than me.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I was like but you look like you love here because
I'm sitting up.
That's cool.
My week was good, okay, youknow, tell me about it D-May.
Well, there's not much toreport.
I'm, I have a schedule, so Ipretty much stick to the same
schedule every week.
Okay, okay, but yeah.
So I mean it was good, nothingout of the ordinary.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
talking face, hair, ass and titties.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, yes, yes, because my ass was clapping.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Okay, too much, but I mean overall it was Sorry I got
distracted.
Overall it was good.
I mean overall it was Sorry Igot distracted.
Overall it was good.
It was productive.
What did you do that wasproductive?
D-may, you know what?
I'm holding tweezers in my lefthand.
Okay, I don't want to have tostab you.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So you're going to threaten me on tape?
I am.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh, okay, no, I didn't threaten you.
I said I don't want to have to.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I didn't say that she wasn't productive.
I was saying, like tell thepeople how you were productive.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
You know, with the gym, with home, with our child,
I may be getting her gains inthe gym dog.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
We got to give her credit y'all.
She be in there looking like awhole snack yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I am dealing with a little bit of like.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I was hoping we didn't have to go I am dealing
with a little bit of like Idon't want to say injury because
it's not injured, but I don'tknow if it's just like
inflammation of the rotator cupor the um, the elbow or whatever
.
But I'm gonna get it checkedout just to make sure.
Only because I have recentlymade um a new goal, created a
(05:02):
new goal and I'm not people.
I'm not going to tell anybodyjust yet.
I'm not ready to say it yetI'll tell them no, you're not.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
I guess I'm not Sorry guys.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
But it just involves my training.
Hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
This just in.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Nisha G has a secret.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It's not a secret.
It's not a secret.
I just don't it out loud likethat just yet.
But I start my training forwhat my goal is on Monday,
tomorrow.
But I'm excited, but I'm also alittle so excited.
(05:37):
So excited, shut up, I'mexcited, but I'm also a little
bummed.
Why?
Because I feel like I'm excited, but I'm also a little bummed.
Why?
Because I feel like I'm notstarting out at 100%.
It don't matter, you're goingto get there, because my elbow,
my arm, my wrist and my indexfinger are all not on my left
(05:58):
arm or not.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
But what you have to understand is, even though, that
you may not be starting at 100%.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I mean technically.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I'm not starting at a hundred percent anywhere but
even if you, if you go in therewith 20, you're saying you're
doing better than most, becausesome people ain't giving 10 yeah
, that's some people ain'tgiving five.
Yeah, you're right, you knowsome people, so I've seen people
walk in and walk out.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yeah I'm excited to have bench press every week,
though.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
You have it every week now.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, no, I'm excited to have it, like every week
Okay are you done with your week, really Okay.
Are you done with your week?
My husband is.
He's such a hater and acopycatter Like he wants to be
me so bad.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
No, I want to be in you.
So bad, you caught that wrong.
I don't want to be you.
I want to be any of you.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
He's my biggest hater and my biggest supporter all at
the same time.
I just want to clap while thatass claps.
Anyway, but yeah, so I'mexcited.
I'm excited for the new week.
We have competition coming upagain this weekend.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yes, yes, yes, and it's our last competition of the
season.
Let the people know what thewager is on the table.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Oh, okay.
So our kid wants a new pet.
She has been asking for a cator a dog, and so I told her, if
she scored a nine or higher intwo events and she placed in
three events at award ceremonythat I will take her the very
(07:26):
next day.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Not the next day.
Well, not the next day becauseshe works.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, but I will take her that fall, whichever
following weekend and I willtake her to the pet shop and she
can pick out whatever dog shelikes, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And she already said it has to be a girl.
Yeah, she wants it a girl andthe name will be Princess.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And I said that's fine, fine, but you have to
deliver on your end.
And so my friend was like girl,you know you're gonna get her
the dog, even if she doesn't doit.
And I said, girl, you don'tknow me because I'm not she.
You really don't know me.
I said, because as soon as, assoon as it's out of her mind,
she's not gonna think about it.
I said trust me, but I.
But the only reason I said thedog is because I know that I'm
going to be the one that's goingto be here, with the dog being
(08:10):
a puppy.
So I don't mind being here witha puppy, but I'm not going to
be here in this house by myselfwith no dang on kitten during
the day.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
You only have to take care of the puppy like three
days out the week.
Okay, you, okay, you say thatmaybe four, monday, tuesday you
say that Monday, tuesday, yeah,monday, tuesday, wednesday, most
of the days, because I mean Ican walk the dog on the rest of
the days.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I just, yeah, I hear that right, it's on record.
Yeah, it's cool.
Okay, just my week was cool man, you know I wasn't dealt with
mine, but I'm sorry, no, I'mjoking, I'm teasing you.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Go ahead lingering.
I'm teasing you, go aheadLingering.
Oh my God, my week was cool.
I'm excited because I'm backdown to my pre-baby weight.
Mm-hmm.
You know, mm-hmm, I didn'tthink I'd get here, and now I
hope she don't get pregnantbecause I just got I know, wow I
worked so hard to get thispre-baby weight off me.
Goodbye, you know so so thatwas exciting.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I love how he says it , like he's the one that would
carry the kid.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Well, I didn't carry the kid, but I carried the extra
calories.
I don't think us dads getcredit for that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, don't worry, y'all be having them cravings.
I've got that under control,don't worry about that Y'all be
having them cravings.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I'm like I couldn't let my money go to waste.
You didn't want to go waste.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Okay, just the chili cheese fries, but you didn't eat
like the pickles and the cheesefries and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And the pecan pies.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I didn't eat pecan pies.
Oh, you didn't eat the pecanpies, but anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Or the jalapeno chips .
Yeah, you know, by the timey'all hear this, I'll be back at
work.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
He's so excited about it, guys, you know, so excited,
so excited.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
And you know it is what it is.
It's something that happens.
I knew it was going to happen,so I'm not that mad about it.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Goodbye, Jamil.
I knew it was coming.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I knew it was going to happen eventually, so I'm not
that mad about it.
So it is what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
And we're grateful.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, I'm very, very grateful for my job Not the
people there, but my job.
Bye.
I did get some bad news aboutthe schedule.
Changes to the gym schedule.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
That we will no longer be working out together.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
No, not hers, Hers.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Oh hers.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, you know they trying to mess with our date
nights and I don't appreciatethat.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, because we have date nights on Fridays and they
trying to man.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
this is my week.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Oh sorry, Go ahead.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
You know.
So they're trying to.
They done changed the scheduleso now we not be able to have
date nights on Friday becauseI'm not paying for child care
and but other than that it'sbeen a really good and she can't
stay home by herself.
I mean she can, I seven, we canhave Mario check on ours.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh, that's not going to be a thing, but overall it's
been solid.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
It was not the last week before work I wanted, but I
got through it.
I wanted a relaxing week and Ihave been busy every day.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I mean, that's life.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
That's what all the people say.
Yeah, that's life.
We were not on the same page,but what we got today, booskies-
oh well, it's the first of themonth, y'all.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So y'all know it's our two cents, Our two cents.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Our two cents.
The next our two cents episodewill actually be an anniversary
of our two cents, so it might bewe might have to tell our own
stories.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Of our two cents.
Yeah, that'd be kind of cool.
See, and we can give y'all four, or maybe you guys can like
write in with your two cents.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Because you know we might give y'all four or five
scenarios that we went throughin our actual relationship and
y'all tell us who was wrong.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
I mean, I know I was right.
Oh, what's that game where youhave two truths and a lie?
I don't know what it's called.
Maybe we'll do I we'll tell twotruths and a lie.
Then you guys got to figure outwhich one is the lie.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Oh okay, Well, you do that.
I can tell y'all who was lyingyou.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But it is an R2 Sense .
R2 Sense episode.
You guys know, at the beginningof every month it is a reaction
video.
So it's all things likereaction, relationship Reaction,
kids, in-laws, all of the above.
And you guys seem to reallylike the Our Two Cents segment.
So we just want to give youwhat it is.
You like, everything you like,okay, and what you like, hey,
(12:15):
what you like, hey, hey, hey.
If you can't see me, it'sbecause I'm dancing, so you got
to watch this on YouTube, thenyou can see my dance moves.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
It's not that impressive.
It's not that impressive.
I forgot which button it wasfor.
Are you Done?
Are you Done?
Speaker 2 (12:38):
No, I wasn't done.
Are you Done?
No, I wasn't done.
Okay, well, maybe I am done.
Okay, whatever you know what.
Whatever, let's get it Allright.
So here we dead.
Okay, well, maybe I am dead.
Okay, whatever you know what.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Whatever, I don't want to do anymore.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Let's get it All right so here we go, you ready.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
All right, am I the asshole for breaking up with my
boyfriend because of his mom?
Before I even read it, I'mgoing to be like no, because
that could be a reason to justget rid of anybody.
All right, so I was dating myboyfriend for almost a month and
things were great until I methis mom Until I met his mom
(13:12):
Around Thanksgiving.
I went to his house for dinnerand his mom was acting weird
towards me.
Later we had to go to thegrocery store and I got in the
front seat.
His mom looked at me and saidget out, you're not special.
Oh, sit in the back.
I was shocked, but I didn'twant to start anything, so I
moved.
But the whole drive she keptgoing on about how I wasn't
(13:35):
special, I wasn't his wife and Ididn't deserve to sit in his
front seat.
I looked at my boyfriendwaiting for him to say something
and he said absolutely nothing.
By the time we got to the storeI was pissed, so I called an
Uber and I went home.
About a week later his momtexted me, calling me a bitch
for just leaving them there andnot checking in.
I told her that I wasn't tryingto be disrespectful, but I
(13:57):
wasn't about to toleratedisrespect from anyone else
either.
Fast forward to yesterday.
My boyfriend and I went on adate and his phone was blowing
up.
When he answered I could hearhis mom yelling at him and
calling me names.
I told him to hang up becauseonce again I felt disrespected
and once again he did nothing.
Today I agreed to hang out withhis mom to try to get closer.
(14:20):
She started talking about howher son was her baby, how much
she loved him, so on and so on.
So I calmly bought up how Ifelt disrespected before and she
went off on me.
At that point I was done.
When I got home I told myboyfriend the relationship
wasn't going anywhere and thatit wasn't going to work.
I tried being respectful, Itried to make it work, but I'm
not going to sit here and bedisrespected by his mother while
(14:41):
he sits there and does nothingand watches it happen.
So am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
not at all, not at all.
This seemed like one of themsuch a much she's probably a
single mom and her son is herboy, is her man or well, you
know how they be talking about.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like boy moms, like that's your, yes, that's your
baby, but he a man, he a man.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
He can't be in a relationship with you the way he
did with her, because my mamafelt like you wasn't good enough
for me.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
No, your mom felt like I came in and took you too.
Yes, and I have a best friendwho's married, and she's been
married for like 16 years, andat the beginning of their
relationship, his mother feltthe exact same way.
And his mother said the exactsame thing to her.
She was like I'm his mom, likeyou're going to be here for a
short time, I'm your mom, relax.
How'd I work out?
How'd?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I work out for her In your mom's the same way.
How'd I work out?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
for her Right.
16 years later, 16 years, twokids, three states, four homes.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
And 27 pets.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Right, right.
So that's why I say like andhere's the thing, I not a, I'm
not a boy mom, so I don't.
But if I was a boy mom, like ifI try to put my, if I was like,
oh my gosh, I have a boy, I cankind of see where that would
come from.
But on the same token, it'slike I would love to see my, my,
my son have a woman that he isfond of, that he treats good,
(15:58):
that he respects.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I don't, i't understand.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
My issue is not with the mother.
He ain't your man.
My issue is not with the mother.
Okay, it was with him, with theboyfriend, right?
Because you need to set theboundary to let your mother know
that, mom, this is the personI'm with.
I'm not going to allow you todisrespect the person I'm with.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Right and right.
She's not my wife, but this issomebody who could potentially
be my wife.
Here's how.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
I think of it First of all.
She's not the asshole.
She should have left, becauseyou can't foster anything
positive out of that dynamic.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
But here's what the mother should have been thinking
what if they do last long term?
Right, and now you done, madean enemy of your so-called
daughter-in-law.
And now, when your grandkidscome around and you want to be
in them grandkids' life, and sheput up hurdles.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, because we all know thegrandkids mostly go with the
(16:54):
maternal grandparents, right,right, we, you know, boy moms,
boys leave home, yeah, and webarely come back.
Really, babe so, and we barelycome back, but she's not the
asshole for that yeah, I agree,not the asshole not at all.
I mean, I would have cussed mymom out no, I would have done
(17:16):
what she.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
I would have done what she did.
I mean, we just left.
No, I would have.
First, I would have left andthen came back and had the
conversation, because I know inthe moment if that was happening
to me.
In the moment, the only thingthat I'm working off of is
reaction.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I'm not.
You know what I mean.
Like part of me, because of whoI am, I will try to like, calm
myself down, but I wouldn't.
I don't think I would be ableto hold back the, and you know,
I don't want to do that.
I don't want to put him in thatsituation.
I don't want to do that Becausethink about it For him it was
already uncomfortable, becausein his mind he's already
(17:49):
thinking like mom, come on.
Like mom, please, please.
But he's not going to tell hismom, mom, lay off.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
I don't know it's just for me.
It shows a lack of Backbone inhim.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Yeah, but they were probably young.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Because I don't care.
Yeah, I don't care, I don'tcare how old he is.
Yeah, your spine is your spine.
Yeah, it don't get strongerwith age.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, I mean, at some point you got it, you got a man
up as a couple who hadexperienced similar, like a
similar dynamic, where it wasyou having to stick up for me
against your mom.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
And I did it.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
And you did, yeah, and you did, and I and we
weren't even married at thattime, we were literally just
dating.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I was married up here in our heads, but no, no, no,
no, no.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I was OK, you were.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I was not married in my head, or in my heart or
everywhere.
Yeah, she didn't love me at all.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But when we were just dating, he absolutely stood up
for me, took my side and wastelling his mom.
You being disrespectful notonly you being disrespectful to
her, but you're also beingdisrespectful to me, because
she's someone who's important tome and I appreciated that
that's not a big deal Now,granted, me and my mother-in-law
have a fabulous relationshipnow Absolutely love her, shouts
(19:00):
out to my mother-in-law.
But yes, I think it's one ofthose things like she's not even
thinking that this could belong term.
She's not even thinking thatthis could potentially be his
wife.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Because if it does become his wife and you don't
get your act together, you couldpotentially not have a
daughter-in-law, a son, yourgrandkids, like all of all of
the above, she might.
She might get them by herselfwhen they put that moose knock
on them and he can't shake free.
Not the moose, not.
You know what I'm saying I'mgonna move on on that, no, but
that moose not going on, boy,it'd be a problem out here in
these streets you know what I'msaying?
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm going to move on.
Put that moose nug on them, boy, it'd be a problem out here in
these streets.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I don't Explain.
Put them vice grips.
Uh-huh, rippy grippy, uh-huh.
Is that what A little wet,uh-huh, soak city.
You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
I don't?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I told you, don't?
I told you evil, evil is goodand get yourself a piece of evil
ass, woo, okay, am I theasshole for not wanting to talk
to my husband for fat shaming me?
My husband asked me to take abath with him and I said sure.
(20:26):
Once we were in the bath hesaid quote, can I ask you a
question?
And I said ask away.
He then said what can we do toget you in a proper workout
routine?
Yeah, I don't think that wasbad.
He then brought up that I hadn'tdone a workout this week and
it's because I'm in the busiestseason at work and working late
(20:47):
most days and coming home andstill going and having to cook
and clean and et cetera.
And, for context, I can't workout earlier as I'm already
getting up at 5 am to get readyfor work.
He then shamed me for having arow of chocolate four pieces for
the whole week and said I don'tdeserve it.
And when I said he ate a wholepackage of chips, his response
(21:08):
was I've earned it because I'vegone for my runs every day this
week.
I'm happy he's back into hisfitness and I've always
supported him.
But he takes things to theextreme and then, after a few
months, falls off the bandwagon.
But it's just that he thought Iwas okay to bring it up when I
was naked in front of him.
I never felt so humiliated.
He then proceeded to say thatmy PCOS and previous health
(21:28):
conditions are not to blame ornot an excuse.
Now I'm having anxiety aroundfood and I just don't want to
eat anymore.
But am I the asshole for beingshort off with him and not
really wanting to engage withhim after what he said?
I can normally shake off thethings he does and the things he
says, but something about theway he spoke and looked at me
just got under my skin.
For context, I'm 158centimeters or 68 kilograms.
(21:54):
The kicker.
Two days after the discussion,he bought me a chocolate, as if
I eat it after that.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
So she bought 140 pounds.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
And I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
So here's you.
Go ahead, what's your?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
is she the asshole for?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
basically she's basically giving him the short,
not the silent treatment, butlike the short treatment
basically, she's basicallygiving him the short, not the
silent treatment, but the shorttreatment.
And it's because she's hurt?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
No, she's not an asshole at all.
If anything, he's an asshole.
There's nothing wrong withhaving conversations about your
partner's health or weight ifyou feel like it's a concern,
but there is a time and a placeto do it.
You do not sit there and have aconversation about your
partner's body while they'renaked in front of you, while
they're the most vulnerable, andthen to mention and then to act
(22:44):
like four pieces of chocolateruined the week for the week.
calm down for the week when heate when he ate bags of chips
you're doing too much because hewent for his run and then what
I don't is do not sit here andtalk about previous health
situation and PCOS, as if that'snot a continuous thing that's
going to impact her.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Or a contributing factor.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
This is what I've learned as a man.
I've learned to just shut thefuck up, because what happens in
a woman's body is diabolical.
It is not as easy, it's not thesame, it is not as easy as he
could think it is.
That's why, like you always say, babe, a man, can you know, if
I think about losing weight, Ilose five pounds.
(23:23):
Right, you got to go out thereand take some steps.
I just put some chips down.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
All he got to do is stop drinking soda.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You know it's not, so it's not the same.
We have to understand that.
Because, you know, I do thinkthe science is that women
naturally hold on to more bodyfat because of everything that
your body does to produce otherhumans.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Because you're still going through that process.
Whether you're popping out ababy or not, your body is still
going through that cycle.
That's why we call it a cyclefor you dumb ass men out there.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
It's not just the cycle, is not just seven days
cycle for you dumb ass men outthere.
Oh wow, it's not just the cycleis not just seven days.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We only really feel good two weeks out of a month.
The cycle is just part Like,really like a week.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
The seven days are part of the cycle, yeah, but
that's not the whole cycle.
Yeah, and I think that's what alot of that's what I'm saying
when it comes to a woman's body.
Just shut up.
Now about her weight.
And her health Affecting herhealth, affecting her health?
Yeah, those are conversationsyou can have, but you have to
talk.
Talk to them in a way that youwould be comfortable receiving
(24:21):
it.
You gotta sometimes, you gottahold on.
That might not work.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
I was gonna say, because something, I just
thought about that Something.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I just thought about that, that might.
Talk to her in a way that shewill be able to receive it from
a place of love.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
And not, like you, attacking or shaming her or
judging her.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Like don't walk in and say, damn babe, how fat you
going to get, diabolical.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Shut up.
Damn babe, how fat you going toget.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Damn babe.
Another chance.
This your fourth matcha today.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Now I feel like you're underlyingly coming for
me.
Okay, now listen, you're doingthe opposite of what you're
saying right now.
I don't even drink matchaanymore, but I used to have a
little bit of a matcha lemonadeproblem back in the day about
five or six years ago.
This your fourth one today.
(25:18):
It wasn't four.
The highest I got up to waslike three Damn babe, potato
Corner again.
Potato Corner had it.
Had you in a chuckle BetweenPotato Corner and Cheese Dogs.
Listen when you work Betweenpotato Quarter and Cheese dogs.
Listen when you work inside ofa mall.
(25:41):
Okay, and if you don't Packyour lunch, and then If you, you
know.
The food court is just rightthere.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Give me some egg rolls from Yard House.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
No, I liked the egg rolls From um.
No, I liked those too's when.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I worked at California Pizza Kitchen.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
No, I liked those too , but when I worked at yeah,
when I worked shut up, when Iworked at Avenue, oh no, those
ones too.
I liked those ones too, butwhen I worked at Avenue and this
was what, 15 years ago, when Iworked at Avenue, I used to like
to go to the little Chineseplace next door and I don't know
what, I don't know they had toput something in those egg rolls
(26:18):
it was two-year-old grease.
It could have been two-year-oldgrease, MSG, PPG.
Whatever it was Not PPG, Idon't know what was in those egg
rolls, but I would legit getlike two orders of egg rolls for
lunch and that would just be mylunch and those egg rolls were
so good?
No, I'm not, but uh, yeah,those egg rolls are really good.
I love a good egg roll.
(26:39):
What are you?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
talking about.
We have egg rolls like everyfriday.
What's your response?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
goodness um, yeah, I, I agree with you.
Um for one.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
What really irritated me was when he said this is the
life after I do podcast, wherewe give two takes.
Oh my gosh, I know that mytakes are always the right ones.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
No, they're not.
They're not.
Get out of my face.
What really irritated me wasthe health concerns, like you
said, when he said don't use.
Basically, he told her don'tuse that as an excuse.
So he's basically saying, likeyou can set all that to the side
, because that's not an excuseas to why you can't lose weight,
as to why you can't lose weight, as to why you can't get into
better shape.
Now, granted, can you get intoa better workout regimen?
(27:20):
Sure, just because you work outdon't mean you lose weight.
Facts.
Can we talk about that?
Like people, people literallybe in there, like trying to
exercise their whole souls away,doing hours of cardio, and
can't lose a pound because,that's not where it's lost
because you're gonna leave andgo eat a mcdouble right.
So it's like when you say thatshe can't use her health
(27:41):
concerns as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure she's not usingthem as an excuse, but it's
also something that she has totake into consideration because
her body is obviously notoperating at its optimal point
to be able to possibly burn whatshe needs to burn, or to get,
you know, for it to function theway it needs to function
essentially, you know, um, soyeah, that really irritated me
(28:03):
and but I didn't, I didn't havea problem with, like when it
first started and she said thathe asked her what can we do to
get you in a proper workoutroutine Like that when I heard
that part to get you in a properworkout routine.
When I heard that part, I waslike, okay, that was fine,
Because if I would have heardthat we're in the bath together,
we're naked, and you were like,so what can we do to help you?
Speaker 1 (28:23):
You know what I mean Because that's what.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
What can we do.
Stop Saying what can we domakes me feel like you're kind
of in it with me.
You're in this with me.
Yeah, you're in it with me andyou're coming from a place of
concern, you know.
But when he started with therest of the stuff I said oh no,
that was a setup for failure.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
He's an asshole and as you, being a person who was a
professional Oreo master.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Right, you know it.
That's why I was saying, whenhe started off, I was like okay,
I can see where this is going.
She's probably overreacting.
And then when it kept going, Isaid oh, he didn't Oreo that
well at all.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
The manager and you just came out.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's not that difficult guys you had talking
points for him, huh.
Because it's not that difficult.
It's really not.
It's really not, it's really,really not.
Okay, so let's see what do wehave next.
Okay, am I the asshole forbeing passive, aggressive
towards my husband?
After we overstayed our welcomeat a restaurant, my husband and
(29:27):
I took our three kids five,four and 10 months to a
restaurant to meet up with myhusband's friends and their two
kids, eight and four.
We had some drinks, all enjoyedour meal and then we paid our
bills.
My husband then got up andmoved his chair to the other end
of the table where the othercouple were sitting, essentially
cutting me off from theconversation.
While I sat in the corner withthe baby, she was getting fussy
(29:49):
after probably about 90 minutesin a restaurant not being able
to move around, and it wasgetting close to bedtime at that
point.
I'm dealing with her while theother four kids are being rowdy
and running between nearbytables.
We made a reservation and theyhad us seated in a far corner
where no one else was seated offseason in a tiny tourist town,
so they weren't directlybothering other people, but I
(30:09):
was still getting irritated byit.
Regardless, I had the baby whowas fighting me, and the three
other grown adults could handlethe other kids.
The baby is now growing morefussy, becoming totally
unsettled and has started crying.
It's been over two hours sincewe had arrived at the restaurant
.
I make a comment about how ourwaitress is putting up chairs in
one of the other sections ofthe restaurant.
(30:29):
Another 15 minutes or so goesby.
The kids are still being rowdy,the baby is fully crying and
I'm just disassociating from thewhole situation at this point.
Finally, the waitress comesover and tells us that they're
closing up.
I tell her thank you andmention how the others weren't
able to take a hint.
She laughs it off and assuresme that it's OK.
Everyone finally gets up toleave and I say to my husband I
(30:59):
don't know why you didn't justinvite them over instead.
I pointed out how the kids aremisbehaving and the baby is
crying.
He gets annoyed and asked why Ijust didn't speak up.
I point out how I was cut offfrom the conversation and how I
didn't really want to be the oneto cut off any of the
conversations between him andhis friends, but I'm not really
sure why he thought it wasappropriate to stay for so long
when we have three kids.
We live three minutes away fromthe restaurant and his friends
could have easily just broughttheir kids over to the house for
a bit.
I was definitely passive,aggressive in the way I spoke at
(31:21):
this point, but I felt that itwas ridiculous to me how he
never once noticed or thoughtthat the situation was less than
ideal.
He's mad at me for not speakingup when I wanted to leave, but
I feel like, as my partner, heshould have been able to read
the room and speak up on his ownat his own friends.
So am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Yes and no.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
That's what I say.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Yes, because you are assuming that he saw what you
saw.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
No, you're upset that he didn't see what you saw that
he didn't experience what youexperience.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
It sounds like he was .
My initial reaction is that hegot up and moved so he wouldn't
have to yell to talk to thefriends.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, and the kids were in the way.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
He wasn't trying to exclude you and then, not only
that, that, he was enjoying theinteraction with his friends
Right Now.
I believe all of this, thiswhole rant you just wrote on the
internet could have beenavoided if, like you said, you
would have spoke up.
Have been avoided if, like yousaid, you would have spoke up,
(32:21):
because, obviously, if I'mengaging in conversation with
someone and I'm enjoying theconversation, I'm not really
paying attention to mysurroundings as much.
So I'm not going to notice awaitress putting chairs up,
because she's a waitress, that'sher job to touch chairs or
whatever she's doing, and I'mjust enjoying the company of my
friends.
I'm not necessarily trackingthe time.
Okay, right.
So I do believe that, and youare an asshole in this instance
(32:43):
because you could have just saidsomething Right Now.
You're not an asshole for yourfeelings, but, again, you are
responsible for your feelingsand if you would have relayed
your feelings in the moment orsuggested that you guys move the
entertainment or the fun backto your residence, most of this
could have been avoided.
I think this is just one ofthem.
(33:07):
Situations where I felt like,if the man is driving, like OG
Tripp said, if the man isdriving and the wall is there.
You speak up, so you don't hitthe wall.
You should have said somethingbefore you got to the point to
where you were this angry aboutit.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
But, nigga, if you driving and you don't see the
wall, Baby, it's a reference, Iknow.
But I shouldn't have to tellyou it's a wall right there and
not you saying no it.
Okay.
Listen, this is what gets meOkay.
Okay, what gets you.
This is what gets me Okay.
First thing Okay, you got upfrom your seat.
(33:45):
Okay, and you went to go sitwith your friends.
Okay, you automaticallyexcluded me from the
conversation.
You gonna move?
Nope.
You automatically excluded mefrom the conversation.
I was sitting there with our10-month-old baby.
You got up.
Were you nursing?
You got up from Don't startthat shit.
You got up from beingside-by-side with me.
You left me, okay.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
You left me.
That's dramatic.
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
You left.
You left me.
That is dramatic.
You left me to go sit with yourfriends and until the
restaurant closed.
So that's the remaining theremaining evening.
You left me at the other end ofthe table with our 10 month old
, by myself, not able to engagein the conversation, and you
(34:30):
thought that was okay.
Not once did you turn aroundand be like babe you good.
Not once did you say babe, comedown here and sit with us.
To be like babe you good.
Not once did you say babe, comedown here and sit with us.
You were perfectly fine downthere talking to another couple.
You came as a couple and youleft your partner back there
with the baby Hold on.
Not done.
I didn't interrupt you.
We have three children.
(34:51):
Okay, three children.
We came to a restaurant.
They had two, we have three.
There's five kids.
Kids is running amok.
Y'all so enveloped in theconversation that no one has
said y'all need to sit down.
No one has said let's get outof here.
Why does that have to be juston me when I'm the one sitting
(35:11):
over there with the 10-month-oldbut there's three other adults
who have eyes, who have ears,other adults who have eyes, who
have ears.
You can.
That just goes to show that youguys were so unbothered by any
and everything else into yourconversation.
Snap out of it into your convertbecause you're like sitting
there staring off into the abyss.
(35:32):
I'm looking, I'm listening.
Um, you guys, you guys werejust sitting over there for
listening.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
No, you were staring into the abyss.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Um, you guys, you guys were just sitting over
there for listening.
No, you weren't.
You were staring into the abyss.
Um, you guys were sitting downthere, engaged in the
conversation, not worried aboutanything else around you, and it
left me to have to deal with it.
So, yes, I'm going to beannoyed.
I'm annoyed because you're myhusband, you're my partner, and
I'm sure.
But here's the thing, becauseyou're my husband, you're my
partner, and again, I'm sure.
(35:58):
But here's the thing.
I think what's frustrating, too, is because you it is safe to
say that this probably hashappened at home as well, and so
now it translated to being outin public, but we're not talking
about the past.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
We're talking about this.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Okay, we're not Stop it, stop it.
We're not talking about thepast.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
He should have been a little bit more mindful as a
partner as a husband, you knowwhy she was really bothered,
because the 10 month old and,like I said, if she would have
said something but that's theproblem.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
That's literally the problem what I'm saying.
Why would she have to saysomething, maurice?
There wasn't.
She wouldn't come by herself.
And then there was two otheradults but as her partner as her
.
You could have also been likebabe, come down here.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Babe, do you want me to take the baby for a little
bit?
Speaker 2 (36:41):
You sat there and ignored the baby, and this is
what he thought.
He thought to himself the babyis with his mom.
My wife got it.
That's what you do to me.
My wife got it.
That's what you do to me whenyou leave.
She's not 10 months old.
When she was 10 months, old.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
she was with her daddy, I was at work.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
It don't matter, you left me Goodbye, you left me
Moving on.
You left me Moving on Because,see this, y'all know this is
what he does.
When he knows that I have avalid point, he tries.
This is it doesn't matter howyou slice the cake.
It doesn't matter how you slicethe cake.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
I like pie or cheesecake.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
Cheesecake pie.
It doesn't matter how you sliceit.
He got up from his chair.
He removed his ass from hischair.
He walked to the other end ofthe table.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I even think the other end of the table is
dramatic, because there's onlynine of them.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Okay, that's not dramatic.
So he walked like six feet away.
It's at minimum two tablespushed together.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
He walked six feet away Okay.
And this is why men say y'alljust don't want us to see us.
Y'all don't want to see ushappy If y'all not happy.
It has nothing to do with youbeing happy.
He was over there happy, havinga good time chopping it up with
his buddy, but because you feltleft out.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Now if he would have told you to scoot your chair
closer and the kids was overhere, you wouldn't have had a
problem with that.
Okay.
But because he didn't do that,but didn't I say that, didn't I
say.
I said, even if he would havesaid, babe, you need help, you
give me the baby, or why don'tyou come down here with us?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
You an asshole?
Okay, that's my take.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
She.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
No, I'm not ready.
No, I'm not ready Because youknow now you got me fired up.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Okay, be fired up.
That's what happens when yousound silly.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I'm about to knock if you buck.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
Go ahead.
Okay, ready for this one.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
No, but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Okay, I cheated on my husband.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Damn.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Okay, I cheated on my husband and was honest with him
.
When the DNA test came backthat he was not the father of
our child, we were planning towork things out but I would have
to give up the baby foradoption.
I didn't think that it wasright that he was making me
choose between him and my child.
He says he's going to divorceme if I keep the baby.
(38:53):
But our marriage vows are forbetter or for worse.
Baby, but our marriage vows arefor better or for worse.
What kind of low life husbandwould leave his wife to be a
single mother if she doesn'twant to give up her child for
adoption?
All I've been was a good womanto that man.
I am so confused.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
I want to know how she's a good woman.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Diabolical that she put that I've been a good woman
to that man.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
She literally got a baby outside her marriage.
She didn't care about theviolence, but she wanted him to
Diabolical.
This can't be real.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Forsaking all others.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Where do you find these fake stories at?
This can't be real.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
She wants to know.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
First of all, First of all, Look here.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
What's your two cents ?
Speaker 1 (39:35):
on this.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
What is your two cents, Mr Gil, on this situation
?
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Look here when she would have told me that she
cheated on me and that she knowfor a fact that the baby not
mine.
I would have just packed up andleft Baby.
That's not what the vows say,yeah yeah, that's not what the
vows say.
The vows say love, honor andcherish.
That's what it starts with Love, honor and cherish.
I have loved you, I havecherished you, I have honored
(40:00):
you.
You may have loved me while youwas cheating I did but you
dishonored me by cheating and bygetting pregnant out of wedlock
.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
But she was thinking about him, okay?
Speaker 1 (40:12):
So there, let me tell you what.
And you're not a single mother.
Go ahead and tell that babyfather to marry you, to marry
you and help you take care ofyour kids, and then y'all can be
a family.
Don't come here with this bull.
This ain't real.
This cannot be real.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Whether it's real or not.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
DeMille.
People just be writing shit onthe internet to write it.
People just be writing Come onnow.
This cannot be real.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
What.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
This is diabolical.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
I just think the diabolical part is her saying
that I have been a good woman tohim.
No, she not how you cheated onhim.
Like I'm so confused and Iguarantee you she young.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
I'm so confused.
Well, you know, nowadays theseyoung people have grown
accustomed to you know.
Side pieces.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I love how you say young people like you're that
damn old.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
I'm seasoned.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I'm like when did we get to this?
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Look here.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
These young people.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Look here.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
You're only like 10 or 15 years older than them.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Look here, I'm about to be 40.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I'm about to be 40.
We're in a year and a half.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
I'm about to be 40, but my soul is 85.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Okay, your soul doesn't have an age, but okay.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
My soul is 85.
I've been here before.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Ergo, your soul doesn't have an age.
What's?
Speaker 1 (41:27):
your two cents.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
My two cents is it's ridiculous.
It's just ridiculous.
Oh, but you did so.
Do you think it's fair, Likehe's willing to work things out
with her, but she got to get rid?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
of the baby.
What's your thoughts about that?
Like would you say, Iunderstand his train of thought
okay, because here's the thingthat's fair to ask.
Yes, I do and let me tell youwhy yes, did you see how excited
he got?
Yes, I do, yes, I do becausewhat I'm not gonna do is be
reminded daily of yourindiscretions of your
indiscretions.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Of your indiscretions and then raise somebody else's
baby.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
And now you want me to raise.
And now you got yourindiscretion, calling me daddy.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
He can call you Terrell.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Okay, but the thing is that, no, he better than me
because I wouldn't be in thechild's life at all.
No At all, really At all,really At all.
Oh, I'd be like Hall Thomas Atall At all At all.
Okay, we got time for one more.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Alright, alright, here we go.
He forgot to log out and Iwatched my marriage fall apart
in real time.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
Oh my God, okay, here we go.
Is this one real or just fake?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
It's on the internet, Like the things that people
write on the internet and writein.
We don't know if it's real ornot.
Okay, I don't, let's see.
Oh no, let me just start here.
Okay, I've been married to myhusband for six years.
We met in our mid-20s.
We had one of the sweetest,most steady relationships
Nothing overly dramatic orpassionate, Just, comfortable
and safe.
We were best friends, planningour future.
(43:04):
I thought we were solid, God, Ithought we were solid, but
apparently I've been an idiot.
I found out that he's beencheating in the dumbest, most
ridiculous way possible.
He forgot to log out of hisemail.
I wasn't even snooping, Iwasn't looking for anything.
I was just sitting on the couchlast night, half asleep, and he
was on his laptop, probablypaying bills or checking sports
(43:25):
scores or whatever.
He closed it and then, when hewas done, he went to bed before
me, like he always does.
So I didn't think twice aboutit, but then, maybe an hour
later, I needed to check myemail.
My laptop was dead and his wassitting right there.
So I grabbed it real quick andI figure I just open a new tab
to log into my email to check mypackage trackings and my email,
(43:45):
Except the second.
I moved the mouse, the screenlit up and there it was an open
email thread with someone namedSamantha.
My stomach dropped.
I don't know why I clicked onit.
Maybe I already knew deep down.
Maybe some sick part of meneeded to see it with my own
eyes.
What I saw made my blood runcold.
(44:06):
She had sent him a picture notfully naked, but enough to make
me feel like the room wasspinning and his response, his
response, was God, I can't stopthinking about the other night.
I wish I was in your bed rightnow instead of at home, At home
With me.
I felt like I was going to throwup.
My ears were ringing, my facewas hot and I was just staring
(44:27):
at the words trying to processthem.
It didn't feel real.
I wanted to close the laptop,pretend I never saw it, crawl
into the bed next to him and goback to the life that I thought
I had, but I didn't.
I scrolled and scrolled andscrolled.
Months, months of emails, ofmeetups, of I miss you and I
(44:48):
wish I could see you.
And I hate sneaking around.
And the worst part, she knewabout me.
She wasn't some clueless womanwho had no idea that he was
married.
She mentioned me by name Someof the conversation.
I can't wait until you leaveher.
Have you told her yet?
Are you really still sleepingwith her?
That's disgusting.
(45:09):
If you love me, why are youstill there?
That last one, the last one,made my vision blurry.
The last one where she said ifyou love me, why are you still
there?
I don't even remember closingthe laptop.
I don't remember getting up.
The next thing I knew I wasstanding at the foot of our bed
looking down at him while heslept so peacefully, like he
hadn't just destroyed everythingthat we've built together.
(45:31):
I wanted to wake him up andscream in his face.
I wanted to throw ice water onhim, slap him, smash him with
his goddamn laptop, push hishead up against the wall.
But I didn't.
I just stood there because inthat moment I realized I wasn't
looking at my husband anymore.
I was looking at a liar, astranger and someone I thought I
(45:51):
knew, but clearly never did.
I barely slept that night.
I just laid there staring atthe ceiling, feeling like I was
suffocating.
By the time the sun came up, Ihad already made my decision.
I got up, got dressed, packed abag.
I didn't even care if he wokeup before me and saw what I was
doing.
But before I walked out of thedoor I went back to his laptop,
pulled up the email and typedone last message to Samantha,
which was you can have him.
Then I shut the laptop, grabbedmy bag and I left.
(46:11):
That was 24 hours ago and Ihaven't answered any of his
calls.
I haven't answered any of hiscalls.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
I haven't answered any of his texts and I don't
even know what the hell I'msupposed to do next.
Any advice?
I ain't got none.
I mean you did.
I don't believe this is real.
She's got on here and wrote awhole graphic novel, this detail
.
Come on now.
Here's my thing, if this isreal, if this is real, if this
(46:40):
is real, I got.
I got two takes.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
First take is your.
Your relationship wasn't,wasn't what you thought it was.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
Right and you probably, you guys probably had
trouble and he probably tried totalk to you, or maybe he didn't
try to talk to you and he wentelsewhere.
And the fact that he strung oldgirl along meant that he liked
what she did physically, but hedidn't like her that way.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Like he loves you, his wife, but he likes what
Samantha does.
Speaker 1 (47:13):
Like our good friend Julie's uncle said you'll never
be my wife.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
You could never have that position, never, never, the
position that you play.
Stay in your lane, yep, that'sit.
You're not my wife.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Stay in your lane and you can never come from that
position, you'll never be whereshe's at Right, and a lot of men
have this mentality, yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
You know it's wife.
Right I go to work for her.
Right I pay you for your time.
It's different, you may youkeep me you keep me evened out
so that I can do the things forher that I like to do.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
And so.
But I also say I always say,well, I don't, I do not condone
cheating.
I do feel like is a byproductof searching for something they
weren't receiving in the, intheir main relationship.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
So maybe not even in the relationship or whatever
themselves.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Right.
So I felt like it was somethingthat she, there was something
that she, that the other womanwas filling in him Pause,
fulfilling, fulfilling in him,pause, um that made him continue
this or even made him pursuethis, and I don't understand why
you're surprised that she knewabout you.
Most of these women know aboutthe and they don't care that
(48:24):
they don't care for them.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
It's a, it's like a it means nothing.
Yeah, for them it's like a um,like ha ha, you thought you had
a, but I can have you a man, andhe's I'm.
It's a game.
It's a game for men, it's agame for women too.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Also, some women don't want to be the men.
Some women are content withhaving a roster.
A lot of women play the samegame as men.
They got to line up, they gotto start in five.
They out here just passing onSTDs.
I don't know why y'all do it.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
Not STDs.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
You know.
But, yeah, I would say thatyou're entitled to feel the way
you feel.
Any person will be hurt, anyperson will feel betrayed,
especially if you were led tobelieve everything is perfect,
everything was good.
And I'd also say that this ispossibly don't be down on
(49:17):
yourself, cause this doesn't.
It also is also a possibilitythat you did nothing.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
That's why I said it's not necessarily what he
wasn't getting from hisrelationship, it's just
something within himself.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
Yeah, it could be that you did nothing.
It's sometimes.
Sometimes you know you reallylove Fuji apples, but then a
Honeycrisp roll along.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
Oh, my gosh gosh.
You and your analogies areterrible.
Let me just bite this honeycrisp apple for a second.
No, you know, I mean no, um Inormally.
I normally go for a gala I thinkfor me, I'm gonna go ahead and
eat this honey crisp.
What when she's talked aboutthe relationship in the
beginning that it wasn't overlydramatic or passionate?
What was?
That's what she said.
(49:58):
They're in the beginning of therelationship.
She said they were just twokids trying to plan their future
.
They had a normal, saferelationship.
Oh, wasn't dangerous.
So it wasn't dramatic, wasn'tspicy?
She said it wasn't dramatic, itwasn't passionate, it was safe
and comfortable.
So they started out in a safeand comfortable situation, right
(50:23):
.
And then they go into marriage,right, and now we're.
Not only did we already startoff at safe and comfortable Okay
, for those of you who have, whoare in a marriage and who have
been married for I don't know,five, seven plus years, the
routine of living with someone,doing life with someone on a
(50:44):
continuous basis, it can become,um, like daunting.
It can become like, okay, I dowant, I want something like, I
want to feel something.
You know what I mean?
Like shut up, want to.
Some people look for thatexcitement and if you're not
actively putting that into yourrelationship, it's not hard for
something outside of yourrelationship to seem exciting,
(51:08):
right?
So if they already started in arelationship that didn't have a
lot of drama, wasn't passionateand, to her words, was safe and
comfortable.
And then you pile five or sixyears of marriage on top of that
, where it's just go to work,pay bills.
We go out to eat every once ina while.
We have sex, maybe two times aweek.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Like everything Two times a week.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Stop it.
Things you know, things justbecome routine, and it's the
routine.
If not interrupted every oncein a while?
The routine is what can get you.
I think we should do a whole-.
Some people thrive in routine.
I like routine, I like routine,but I mean as far as-.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
But you got to throw in the oddities in there.
Speaker 2 (51:50):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Like we know, if we go too manytimes without like having a
date night-.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
But hold on, but hold on or doing something exciting.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
We're both kind of like.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Oh, I need to do something, but we have
implemented our date nights intoour routine, so so we get mad
when it's interrupted.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Right, but what I'm saying is is, like you know,
like that period of time beforewe started doing our date nights
where I was just like wehaven't done anything, we
haven't gone anywhere.
We haven't done anything.
Everything Every day is thesame thing get up, make
breakfasts, make lunch, you goto work, she goes to school, I
(52:28):
come home, I clean, I do this, Igo get her, take her to
practice.
You the mail, clean the mailjust playing y'all.
I swear I'm gonna stab you umsix times.
But yeah, it's just like it canbe the routine, and sometimes
the routine just needs to beinterrupted.
Speaker 1 (52:39):
You know, the thing is is that A lot of people think
that marriage is the endproduct, where marriage is
really just it's.
It's really the next chapter,but it's like any type of
(53:00):
progress, you have to implementthe things you learned before in
your current chapter.
So, once you get married, youstill have to have your dates,
you still have to have yourtrips, do exciting stuff.
You still have to have theconversation.
Now, granted, it gets hard tohave conversation when you've
been with someone so long,because I can't tell you, you
can't teach old dogs new tricks.
I can't tell this one about mychildhood again, I mean, she
(53:22):
done heard it.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
I mean you can, but she done heard it plenty of
times.
You can Just tell it to us, butthis is why you guys go out.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
This is why I feel like it's also important for you
guys to not separate lives, butsomething for yourself, right?
Speaker 2 (53:38):
not cheating, though, because he'll be like I got.
I do have something for myselfI got samantha, I ain't talking
about that.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I got okay, hold on have something for yourself that
you're willing to tell yourpartner.
Put it that way, because thatway, you, you guys, you're,
you're, you're, you engage inconversation.
Speaker 2 (53:54):
You, uh, are spending time together yeah, it gives
you something to talk about, andso you have to.
Speaker 1 (53:59):
It's it's weird to say, but you have to constantly
be growing together, because ifyou don't grow together, you'll
grow apart, like my plant overthere oh my god, this is because
it hasn't been watered so it'sgoing like this has been another
growing up together and then Ididn't water them for a week and
now they're growing like that.
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I'm a water it.
When we're done with this, putit in the sun for a little bit.
Oh, it's supposed to rain today.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Till next time.
Speaker 2 (54:36):
Till next time.
This has been another episodeOf the Life After I Do podcast.
If you're not doing so already,you can follow us on all of our
social media platforms At LifeAfter I Do podcast.
Don't forget, you can alwayswrite in to us At Life After I
Do podcast At gmailcom.
New episodes are happeningevery Wednesday, guys, and until
(54:57):
then, peace booskies.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Newpodcasts at gmailcom.
New episodes are happeningevery Wednesday, guys, and until
then, peace booskies.
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