May 28, 2025 • 44 mins
What do you do when your partner does something that stops you in your tracks? 💠This month's episode of Our 2 Cents! on Life After I Do, we dive into the pivotal moments in relationships—the ones that shake your trust, test your values, and leave you asking: Is this who I really want to spend my life with?
We kick off with light-hearted laughs and high vibes—because even after years together, that spark can still surprise you. 🔥 But things get real fast as we dissect shocking relationship scenarios submitted by our listeners—and unpack the boundaries we often don’t realize we have until they’re crossed.
đź’Ą In This Episode:
• A father pulls wedding funding after learning his future daughter-in-law created a fake dating profile to test her fiancé’s loyalty
• A husband makes racist remarks about his mixed-race niece—can love survive that?
• A fiancé plans a fishing trip instead of a honeymoon—is it selfish or clueless?
• A new dad backs out of being a stay-at-home parent—breaking trust or just changing course?
Each story forces us to ask the tough questions:
 ➡️ Is this a red flag—or a one-time mistake?
 ➡️ Can this be fixed with communication—or is it deeper than that?
 ➡️ Are we compromising—or abandoning ourselves?
We bring our signature blend of honesty, humor, and real insight to these dilemmas, offering perspective on what makes a healthy relationship boundary versus what might be a straight-up deal-breaker. Whether you're deep in a marriage or just starting something new, this episode will make you pause and reflect on what your non-negotiables really are.
🎧 Tune in, laugh a little, reflect a lot—and ask yourself: What would YOU do?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, I can just put you on the back burner because
you're going to be there, Likeyou're not going anywhere.
So I'm going to decide to focushere instead of prioritizing
you because you're going to bethere.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This is wild coming from you oh.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're trying to say I don't prioritize you.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hey everybody and welcome back to another week of
life after I do with me Nish andMo.
That's what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mo to the E to a no Molito.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
No, nish and Mo.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
No, why do you want Nish and Mo Monisha?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm first.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Monisha.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
It sounds better Nish and Mo Mo to the.
That kind of sounds like itcould be like a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Monisha, monisha, ooh , if we have another child, and
there's a daughter, we're gonnaname her Monisha.
We're not, though.
We have to.
We're not Phoenix and MonishaNot gonna happen.
I don't know where I'm gonnaget Monisha tatted on me.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
We can name her Phoenix and Lauderdale.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Fort Ha ha ha ha.
Are you done?
Yes, are you done.
Are you done?
Damn, I got them.
Daughter Lauderdale Interesting.
Hi, babe.
My next daughter will be namedRogue.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I could get behind Rogue.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's an X-Men thing going on here.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We said Rogue, it's an.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
X-Men thing I liked.
Hendrix, you said we could doStorm Maybe as a middle name.
Nah Storm.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Probably not a first name Storm.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And if it's a boy, his name was Remy.
No, it's not Remy Lebeau, thebest X-Man there is.
Argue with your mama.
Gambit is the best X-Man thereis.
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean, we can name him Gambit.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I'm cool with that.
I'm still calling Remy.
No, remy, get your ass in here.
I can't do that.
Hey, booskies, hi, how was yourweek?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good, are you done Okay?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, what's good about it?
I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, I had a pretty.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Let me stop you.
Oh God, let me stop you.
Okay, let me tell the peopleright now.
Okay, tell them what.
What are we telling them?
This aura around my wife thisweek, every day, this week, has
been giving.
He's been obsessed.
It's been giving Everything.
Okay, giving.
(02:42):
Yesterday in the gym I was likeGiving Ass was assing, titties
was tittying.
Waist was snatched, I said.
I said there go my post-workoutmeal, right there I'm looking
at my post-workout meal.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I was like dude, let me breathe.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I was like let me work out.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I was like between you coming back and forth and
circling and home dude standingnext to me circling, look, I was
like look here.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I know it was leg day , I said, but after this I'm
have some legs wrapped around me.
You hear me?
I can't because it was giving.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I appreciate that.
Thank you, that made me feelgood.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
People think you taller than me because you be
sitting on high and shit.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
No, it's just because you're smaller than me.
Oh, okay, not in a bad way.
Okay, big bro.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
We back to big bro, not in a bad way, you weigh less
than I do so you visibly looksmaller than I do.
Alright, big bro oh my gosh, Iwas joking.
I was joking Alright, big bro.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I told him he's gonna refer to me as big bro.
All right, come on, big bro,stop it.
No, it was a good.
It was a good um week.
It was in um.
I had energy.
I got some energy back I gotenergy.
You got a lot of I wish I couldhave a little bit of that like
today right now, but maybe onceI eat, once you eat, I'm hoping,
like once I eat.
I mean, I don't feel terribleright now, I just don't feel
like, like pump and you knowwhat it is, though what?
(04:12):
no pre-workout, no what?
because I didn't like what areyou doing like in the morning,
like in the mornings, and itjust especially like yesterday,
because yesterday was deadliftday.
You know, that's like myfavorite day.
So it's like I wake up with alike a little, because I'm like
excited, I'm like, ah, like Iget to get to it.
You know, and even when I wasdoing my warm-ups yesterday I
was like like getting through mywarm-ups because I was like I'm
(04:34):
trying to get up to this topset, like you know what I mean.
I'm trying to get to a top settoo.
I can't with you, um, but yeah,today is today is cardio and
steps.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So I don't normally do.
It's not given the same.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
It's not given the same, except if they're playing
a good movie at the theater.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
But yeah so, and I don't normally do, I don't
normally go to the gym in themorning on my cardio step days I
use that time when Phoenix isat practice to go, because it
kind of puts me on a time crunchand then it gives me a, you
know a reason to recoverymorning so I can come home and
like just relax.
You know what I mean.
All right, I mean, but I got avacuum and sweeping mop and
stuff, so I'm not sure how much?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
yeah, because you wear 17 titles around here what
housekeeper your position isstay at home mom-huh, but the
duties is like 17 different jobs, that's a lot.
And then when you clock out forbeing a stay-at-home mom and
you clock in for being a wife,then that's like seven different
duties.
Yeah, because the first one isfreak in the sheets.
(05:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
My week was cool.
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My week was cool.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
That's, my week was cool.
Goodbye, my week was cool.
That's good, good vibes, uh huh.
Only I'm really, I'm reallyloving this new work schedule.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I actually really do like the new work schedule.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I said, yeah, I do your daughter doesn't like it
too much she hates it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
She likes the part that you're here in the morning,
but she doesn't like thatyou're not here before she goes
to sleep at night.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
She said today.
She was like am I going to seeyou in the morning again?
I said yeah, baby, you're notgonna see me tonight.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Why, although she's been using it as an excuse to be
in the bed.
So, like I came, I came out ofthe bathroom last night and she
was laying on your side and Iwas like nope, I was like
Phoenix getting your bed.
And she was like do you knowwhy I'm over here?
(06:27):
Like with her sad face, do youknow why I'm over here?
And I was like why?
Because I miss my dad.
I miss me.
No, because, like, I reallymissed you today too and I got
no time with you.
I went to school and then I hadto go to and you pick me up
late yeah, I was like oh you arelaying it on so thick.
Hold on so this, this so thick.
I don't so this so thick.
I don't know how that happenedwhen she ratted you out, because
(06:48):
what's crazy is, I looked atthe time like three times and
every time I looked at the timeit never clicked that the baby
was out of school and outsidewaiting in the sun.
I just don't know what.
Yesterday it just you know,deadlifts take a lot out of me
mentally and physically.
It was at this moment he knewhe fucked up, but when I look, I
(07:10):
was laying down in the bed andI was watching Handmaid's Tale.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That's the problem.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
See, look here.
No, because let me tell you, Ilooked at the time.
The first time I looked at thetime it was like 1.48.
And I'm like okay, that'susually about the time I leave.
But I looked at that time andmy brain didn't, it did not
register.
And then I looked at the timeanother time.
It didn't register.
I looked at the clock again andit said 225.
And like wait a minute, you hadmy baby out there for over half
(07:34):
an hour Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I looked at the time and itsaid 225.
And then I literally lookedpast it and continued like
looking at the TV.
And then it literally clickedin my head and I was like, oh
shoot, she got out of school attwo.
I said oh no, oh no.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
This will reflect poorly.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I was like the baby been out of school for 20
minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
This will reflect poorly on your review.
Oh my God, Let me tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I don't know what happened.
Let me tell y'all.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
This morning, when I was talking to my baby and I was
like how was your day yesterday?
She said it was good and she'slike your wife picked me up late
.
She was late, dad.
I was out there in that sun.
I said how long were you outthere?
She was like I was out therefor like 50 minutes I said you
don't even have a concept oftime.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You were not out there for 50 minutes.
She said it was so hot.
She was out there with likefour other kids.
So I didn't feel bad when I sawthe other kids too, because I
said, oh, we're all effing uptoday.
I was more annoyed that thefact that she went into the
office and she said the officetold them to go outside and sit
under some shit Cause they wantsome AC on time.
And so when I, when I walked up, it was her and four other kids
(08:49):
and the other little boy he wason.
He was on his cell phone, liketrying to see where his parent
was.
Like he's like I'm outside,like where are you?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It was hot, it was hot yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And so I picked her up and she's she's giving me you
know how she'd give me the lookand she'd give me the look like
bitch, where have you been?
You got me out here with therest of these and she was like
where were you?
And you know what I told her.
I said I had a meeting that ranover Phoenix, oh wow.
And the meeting was handmade.
And then not me showing up inlike sweatpants, a sweatshirt,
(09:21):
hair crooked to the side, noface moisturizer.
I had a meeting that ran overand then she looked at me and
she scrunched her face and shewas like what kind of meeting?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
She didn't believe you.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I was like it was a conference call.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Because when she was talking to me in the morning she
was like Dad, you would never.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Listen, okay, we're all entitled to mistakes.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Okay, I mean you just took half of my week time, so I
guess that's my mistake.
Goodbye, so what was your?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
week.
It was cool.
Don't do that.
It was cool.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Go ahead.
I want to hear about it.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You in my business, I'm going to do that.
Don't do that.
It was cool.
I want to do that.
Good vibes yes, very much so.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You know what I'm saying no, no more back rolls.
Look at you showing out,showing out.
This morning, when he took hisshirt off, I was like I'm sorry,
sir.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
The bakery is closed.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I was like, sir, all I see is lines right there.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
No, no rolls in the back, but a gut in the front.
Not really, you know, it'sthere.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I mean, but it's like it's deflated.
It's still there, it's deflated, but I see your fabs, it's
lapping over.
I see your fabs, my flabs, yourfabs.
What's that Fat abs?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh yeah, cut off season coming.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I see your fabs coming through.
Cut off season coming I waslike I said my meow, my meow.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Like my Like, like my like.
Shout out to eric bellinger.
That's my one of my favoriter&b artists.
You know he always does hiscuffing season like eps.
Uh-huh, I'm, I'm taking a step.
Uh, a note out of his page.
I'm saying cutoff season iscoming.
Cutoff season because I'mwearing these crop tops so y'all
can see these abs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Okay let's see how true that is, because I I just
bought you sleeveless shirts andyou still can't wrap your body
around wearing a sleevelesst-shirt.
I just feel naked.
I was like.
I was like babe, you look sogood, Like your arms look really
good, Like they're doing it forme.
I need you to wear them out andI need you in these seven inch
seam shorts.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Like I don't know what the problem is Okay, hold
on.
So I bought the seven inchsleeves with the one pair I
bought last week.
That's one pair.
I was like, okay, it wasn't toobad, so I might.
The next set might be seven.
Now, look, now you trying to gothe five.
That's too much.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It's really not, though, because you got the leg.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You trying to have me kicked out the gym nowadays.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I think you'll be fine.
You'll be covered up more thannipples, I don't.
But yeah, but I don't want mymember to fall out.
Babe, listen if you, if you gotto show a little, you know what
, Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
You just got to do what you got to do.
You say that to nipples.
Come on up to me.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I slapped that hole in her face, just like them
other two wangers.
Can you show us how to workthat you don't see?
All these other men in the gym?
Don't come up to my listen here.
Hold on psa, here we go.
Look at his face, committed tomemory.
All the men that you see in thegym, don't ask this one to help
you with equipment, okay, don't, don't.
There's a lot of other men whoare willing to help with
(12:30):
equipment.
He, he can't, okay, especiallyif I've seen you in the gym for
the past four months.
If you haven't figured out howto work all the equipment in
there by now, I don't know whatto tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Ask a trainer.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
But look at this face .
Don't ask him Okay, what we gotthere?
Okay, what we got there.
Let me, just Because you knowwomen will try it, women will
try it.
Who, who will try it?
Oh my gosh, stop it.
Um, okay, so it's an R2C.
(13:05):
I gotta get an.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
R2C, drop R2C.
Yeah, I mean it's.
It's uh, the internet'sfavorite episode, you know as
shout out to Desert Diva.
It's her favorite segment ofthe show.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
People just like mess and you like mess too, I like
Me too.
You like mess too, I like it.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I like it when it's not my mess.
Oh, as long as I'm not involved.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Okay, I mean, don't create no mess.
I don't want us to be yourreaction.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Right, am I the asshole for leaving the podcast
after my wife knows where I am?
Bye, okay, so let's lightly tapour feet into it, shall we.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Am I the asshole for canceling my financial support
for my son's wedding after hisfiance catfished him to test his
loyalty?
Hmm, ok, my son, who's 23, justrecently got engaged a few
months ago.
Recently he admitted that, orrecently he admitted to me that
he had been texting with thegirl that he met on Tinder.
(14:07):
That alone already shocked me.
He's engaged and that'sobviously not acceptable
behavior, you know.
But here's the twist.
The girl on Tinder was actuallyhis fiance.
She made a fake account toquote, unquote test whether he
would stay loyal, and when heflirted back, she confronted him
(14:28):
.
Yes, what my son did was messedup, but creating a whole fake
profile to trap your partner,that's manipulation.
If you have to run stingoperations to trust your fiance,
maybe y'all shouldn't begetting married.
After learning this, I told myson that I would not be paying
for his wedding anymore.
I don't want to support amarriage that already starts
(14:48):
with lies and games from bothsides.
Okay, some people in the familysay that I'm overreacting and
that I'm punishing in them both.
But what's your opinion?
Stand on business it's yourmoney.
Facts it's your money, and he'sabsolutely right.
Y'all sitting here playingthese foolish games before
making a lifetime commitment toeach other.
(15:08):
It sounds like y'all don't needto be getting married, because
if you're still entertainingchicks on Tinder and she's
setting up sting traps.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
But my thing is.
My thing is why is your Tinderaccount still?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
active?
Active if you engage.
It doesn't even matter if it'sactive still active.
Active if you engage?
No, it doesn't even matter.
If it's active, why is the appstill on your phone?
Why are you even going in tech?
Well, like I don't understandhow you still have a connection
to the app and then here's,here's how I would have flipped
it.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
If you messaged me from a fake account, who else
you messaging?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
no, no we're not.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, we're not gonna do that.
Yeah, that's narcissism at itsbest.
We're not gonna do that so shecould play games, but I can't.
No, we're not gonna do.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Do that so she can play games, but I can't.
No, we're not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's wild.
No, it's not.
But I don't think, pops, Idon't think you're wrong, I
wouldn't be.
First of all, I ain't payingfor no floozy to marry my son
anyway.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Why she got to be a floozy.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Because ain't nobody good enough for my son, just
like ain't nobody good enoughLuzi.
It is.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I think I'm more concerned with the fact why she
felt like she had to.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
If they've been on Tinder.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Why she had to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
She had to know.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Like he must already have some questionable.
Activities yeah, somequestionable tendencies, some
activities.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That led to this.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
And so he's, and he, you know I don't know why, but
it just made me think about heprobably proposed to her to kind
of like hush her down and makeher feel like, babe, you are
special, it's just going to beyou, but I'm still going to be
up to my old ways.
And she knew it.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But she may very well be special, she just ain't the
only one he want Preach.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Bishop, Tell us more.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
That's the thing.
Tell us more.
That's the thing, tell us more.
It's like now I'm listening.
I'll tell you from myperspective like you, everything
I need Right.
But if I ever was inclined tostep out, it would be known I'm
not leaving my wife Interesting.
She's always it's like.
It's like the Jew's uncle said.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
What?
Who I deal with outside mymarriage ain't got nothing to do
with you.
And he's like he told his sidepiece.
He said don't you everdisrespect my wife and don't you
ever think you're going to bein her position.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
He basically said bitches you crazy, because you
ain't going to never have herrole.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's what he said.
He said because you could neverbe my this woman right here.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And that's what I tell him this woman right here.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
She will always be taken care of you.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
There ain't no woman out here that can take your spot
.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Now see, listen here.
You say that some men will saythat to some women and on a very
surface level.
I feel like some women willfeel like empowered and feel
like, yes, you know, he may, maydo his dirt, but I know where
his heart is.
Yeah, damn that you ain't one,damn that you ain't one.
That's you ain't gotta leave,but you will I know how to use a
(17:53):
door.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That's fine, and even if you choose to leave your
spot will it all be there foryou, oh okay, well.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, you know what I could be happy in that you know
I could, I could, I could behappy.
What I'm telling you is I couldbe, I could still leave and
know that at any given.
You know, and that's theleverage, that's the leverage I
would have over your new chick.
I'd be like you know what boosee, see, that's.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
That's what you messed up, because there ain't
gonna be no new chicks.
What I mean by this spot is allgonna be yours is.
It means you're the only personthat can sit there, exactly so
when you leave, ain't nobodygoing to be there temporarily
either.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I mean, you'll probably be seeing somebody,
whether it's sexual or not.
That's it, yeah, but she maynot know that I'm going to let
them know.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Look here, I'm here for a good time not a long time.
I'm here for a good time, not along time.
So if you, if you trying tobuild something, I'm not the one
babe, I don't want to wasteyour time.
If you trying to have A couplefun weekends and some shit like
that, I'm your man, I'm your man.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But if you trying to have a Are you going to foot the
bill 50-50?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Oh yeah, no, depending on how good the cat is
.
Oh yeah, no, oh no, you going.
Oh yeah, no, depending on howgood the cat is.
Oh yeah, no, oh no, you'regoing to be that guy, but I'm
not.
No, no.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
It ain't like that, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
You're going to be that guy, babe, no, but sir, you
know I wouldn't pay for iteither.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, I'm right there with him, I wouldn't pay for it
.
Okay, let's see.
Am I the asshole for notwanting my girlfriend to have a
free holiday with her ex?
Okay, a free vacation.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
So I've been dating my currentgirlfriend for about nine months
or so.
Her ex-boyfriend that she brokeup with about six months before
(19:38):
we started dating has recentlystarted talking to her again.
I don't feel partiallycomfortable, particularly
comfortable about this, as Ibelieve he wants to get back
with her.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
He does.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
But they have only seen each other a few times in a
group setting, so I haven'tseen it as a big deal up until
this point.
Red flag.
Earlier today she approached mesaying that she needed to talk
to me.
She explained that herex-boyfriend was offering a
vacation with her to apologizefor treating her badly in the
past.
He's offering to pay for theplane ticket, hotels, everything
(20:11):
.
I talked with her and sheagrees that she thinks he is
trying to start somethingbetween them again, but they
will be staying in separaterooms and a free vacation is an
extremely good offer, so shedoesn't want to turn it down.
I feel extremely mixed aboutthis.
I understand her wanting to go,but it makes me extremely
uncomfortable and upset, as wellas feeling disrespected.
(20:32):
I am even contemplating endingthings, as it would make things
easier for the both of us.
What should I do?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
if she go on that vacation, leave her look here.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I think that the way the whole scenario, the whole
story just seems crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Because, yeah, they in separate rooms that they can
leave, and so they can sleep inboth rooms together, so they can
have a rendezvous in her roomone night, a rendezvous in his
room the other night, stop.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Okay, but here's the thing, here's the thing If you
go with her.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
That's what I'm saying.
That's different.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I'm saying why don't you just go with her?
Just go with her, but if shewon't buy herself, he can still
pay her way.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Go with her, right, and you pay your way, yeah and
then smash her in the room nextto her so he can hear her.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Because I know the room's going to be next door.
Next to each other.
My response would have beenlike okay, if he wants to be
dumb enough to go ahead and payfor you a whole vacation, let
him do that.
Boo, I'm going to buy my ticket.
You ain't even got to tell himI'm coming.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
That's like if we were in the club, because we all
fam.
And somebody was buying youdrinks, I'm going to say, no,
babe, take them drinks, this isthe drink I want.
Let him keep buying my damndrinks.
This is the drink I want, comeon now.
So either go on a vacation withher or leave Like, come on now,
(21:52):
you're okay with them beingaround in a friend setting.
So you don't think they didn'thave intimate conversations in
that setting just becausefriends were around.
This is true.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Come on now and he's playing hardball.
He said look, all expenses paid.
I just want to apologize.
He said I just want to.
I mean he could still apologize, you could still pay for my
vacation, but you ain't got tocome.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Right, if he was really sorry, he would pay for
y'all vacation.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Okay, that's a little wild, is it?
I think so.
Or he could have just sent herlike a gift basket too.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah, he's trying to.
He could.
He's trying to give her a bowlaround his penis.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I'm just saying he always has to take it there, hey
.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
All right, separate rooms.
Come on now.
This one is advice needed,please.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I got something for you.
I'm convinced this is divorceworthy, but some families say
that I'm making it a bigger dealthan it needs to be.
Okay, I'll start with somebackground.
I was raised by a man who hatedpeople of color.
I have a total of sevensiblings three older brothers,
one older sister, one youngersister and two younger brothers.
(22:57):
We all have the same dad, butthe older siblings have a
different mom.
We are all fully Caucasian.
My younger siblings have nothad children yet.
I have two kids who are white.
All my other siblings havechildren.
In total they have eight kids,all of who are mixed.
I love all my nephews andnieces.
(23:19):
Despite being raised around ahateful man, I never
internalized his thoughts as myown.
I went to school with primarilyblack kids and still today
those are some of my closestfriends.
I've told my husband about mypast.
I've told him how sick it wasto be a child having to listen
to my dad talk about people sohateful, how confusing it was
because I went to school with somany and was close friends with
(23:42):
many.
My husband has two nephews andone niece.
The two boys are white.
His sister just had her firstHis niece, who was mixed, a
beautiful baby girl with a headfull of hair, just absolutely
precious.
We went to go visit and Ibrought his sister some soups
for easy dinner.
Her race never came up in anyconversation because I didn't
(24:04):
think it mattered.
I mean, she's a baby and she'sfamily.
When we got home, my husbandlet out the biggest sigh and
said oh, how ugly that littlebaby was.
He also added some other foullanguage regarding his baby
niece.
I didn't really want to typeall that out specifically
because what he said isdisgusting.
(24:24):
He said this in front of ourfour-year-old like it was not a
big deal.
Now I'm worried.
Our son will go to school whichis primarily mixed race, saying
foul language.
I'm convinced that this isdivorce worthy.
I'm sick about it because now Ihave two children with this man
.
If I leave, he will have timewith them.
And what if he says the samefoul language in front of them
(24:46):
on his time and all the years?
He has never said anything likethis before, but before we met
he was dating a white woman whohad a mixed daughter for a year.
He also has multiple blackfriends that he grew up with.
I would have never imaginedthose words coming from his
mouth, let alone about family.
(25:09):
I'm speaking with a lawyer nextweek and I just don't know what
I'm going to do to shield mykids from this advice.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
That's crazy, that's crazy, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
First of all, first question to you If you were in
that situation situation, do youfeel like that's divorce worthy
behavior?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I think that's a hard question because it's like your
whole life.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Your whole life came down to that one one right, yeah
, and so yes or no?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I don't know.
I'm conflicted why?
Because she's white.
Uh, if she was black it'd bedifferent, um no, but if you
were in the situation, I'mleaving.
I'm leaving because if I'mblack and she, and she says that
and she's white, yeah okay,what is she?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
black, and she says it about your brother, yeah
that's wild no, it's wild.
And she's black, you're leaving.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
If she's white, I feel like we're all the problem
no, I just feel like I I I feellike there should be a
conversation, should be hadfirst.
Okay, right now I don't condonewhat he said, absolutely not
and his choice of words, andit's clear that he, he only felt
that we, he only felt safeenough to say it once he got
(26:21):
home.
Oh, of course and I mean thisgoes to my point like, just
because, just because they can'thave black friends, don't?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
mean it doesn't mean anything.
Yeah, that don't mean shit.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Yeah um, because like I, like I.
I think I commented onsomething the other day and I
said it doesn't matter, um, itdoesn't matter how many black
friends certain white peoplehave.
Their associated whiteness willalways be their greatest asset,
because they'll leave theirBlack friends to join the fold
if necessary.
At this point, I think you'dhave to think about the children
(26:49):
.
While I don't necessarilybelieve that.
You know, maybe this is aone-off or maybe this is who he
really is, I think this issomething where it's kind of
hard to really navigate, but Ido feel like you have to also
tread lightly and, at the sametime, I feel like divorce is
(27:10):
extreme and that a conversationshould be had first and actually
understand his ideology Goddamn it, ideology, yes About the
situation and see where hisstance, see where his, where his
stance actually lies, and thendetermine if that's something
you want to be around orsomething you want to raise your
kids in.
That's what I say.
(27:30):
Okay, what do you say?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I feel as though, yes , a conversation excuse me, a
conversation definitely needs tobe had.
I would be curious about histhought process and what, like,
what?
What drove him to say thatfirst, like, if this is
something a part of hischaracter, who he is now, then
(27:53):
that is going to be a dealbreaker, because the one thing,
because if that's not who, ifthat's not who I marry, like,
yes, people evolve and thingslike that, but, um, if that is
so far left of who, you were.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
But here's the thing, he's a.
He's a bitch in the momentbecause he didn't say that in
front of the baby's father,right?
So he's a bitch.
He said it where he feltcomfortable yeah a lot of people
.
A lot of people will hold theirtongue because of the pushback
they might get.
Oh, of course, but when theyget around somewhere safe,
they'll.
They'll say, they'll let it outright.
That's why I say I said itdon't.
(28:25):
That's why I always say, like,if you can't say it to my face,
it don't, it don't fuckingmatter to me, because you want
enough to say it anyway, yeah.
So yeah, sit your ass down.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, so I would definitely have a conversation,
first pick his brain, see, likeyou know, see his thought
process on this whole situation,and then pretty much make my
decision from there, if this ispretty much who he is and he has
those same type of ideologiesthat I grew up with from my own
father and I didn't like it andit made me uncomfortable.
(28:59):
I definitely wouldn't want mychildren around it, but I mean
it also might be inevitable foryour children to be around it if
you're still going to sharecustody with them once you
divorce.
But that's what she said.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, that's what she said.
She was thinking about saying.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
You know what I'm saying.
So, and then it's going to beeven worse, because then he'll
be upset and probably spitefuland resentful and all the fools.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You know he's a man, so Let me say this He'll be all
the fools Black people have beeneverything under the sun since
we stopped working for free okay, um we stopped working for free
(29:42):
and all of a sudden we lazyyeah, I mean, I can't disagree.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
All right, here we Nope Am I overreacting?
For being upset that my fiancescheduled our honeymoon with his
friends.
Okay, hold on, go ahead.
So my fiance, who's 28, and Imyself, who's 22, are getting
married in two months.
We've been planning everythingtogether Venue, food, guest list
(30:10):
, all of that.
We agreed early on that we takea week long honeymoon right
after the wedding, and I was soexcited.
Well, I just found out that hehas booked a four day fishing
trip with his friends during ourplanned honeymoon week.
When I asked him about it, hesaid it's just a few days and
I'll be back in time for therest of the week.
I told him that wasn't thepoint.
(30:32):
This is our first week as amarried days and I'll be back in
time for the rest of the week.
I told him that wasn't thepoint.
This is our first week as amarried couple and he's
prioritizing a fishing trip.
He said that I was being clingyand it's not a big deal because
we have the rest of our livesto be together and take trips.
I honestly feel like he doesn'tget how important this moment
is for me, for us.
I told him that I was hurt andnow he's acting like I'm blowing
(30:52):
things out of proportion.
Am I overreacting for thinkingthat our honeymoon should just
be about us?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
no, no, you're not overreacting and it's kind of
weird.
Okay, hold on, I don't get this, so he knew.
Okay, I don't get this, so heknew.
Yes, he knew.
So here's my question was thefishing trip already there
before they started?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
no, okay, that's why she's upset, because they
planned the week-long honeymoonand then he turned around, so
like they have like seven daystogether.
He's gonna fish for four ofthose days with his friends and
then he's gonna give her therest of the days and his excuse
is we have the rest of our livesto take more trips like don
don't, don't get hung up on this.
Well, that is true.
(31:33):
Ok, that's a dumb way ofthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
They do have the rest of their lives together to take
more trips, but this is yourfirst week.
This is important.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
That's what she said.
She was like it's our firstweek together as a married
couple, and I would be more.
I'm not, at this point, evenupset about the fishing trip.
I'm upset about your thoughtprocess.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Okay, hold on.
Here's my thing.
How long have they beentogether?
See, I got follow-up questions.
Okay, you can ask her.
I don't know how long were theytogether before they got
married.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Doesn't matter.
She only said 22,.
So as long as they've beentogether, that's four years, and
even then that's R Kelly.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Bye.
It doesn't matter though.
It's our honeymoon, it's a weekafter we get married.
So this is the first thing thatcame to my mind.
This is what came to my mind.
What came to my mind was heonly got that week approved off
(32:28):
of work for vacation.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
He only got that week approved for work for his
vacation.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
That's probably his last vacation for the year and
he can't get another vacation,so he's like I gotta do.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I got everything I gotta make it do what.
I gotta make it do what it do.
So, look, look, let me getthese four days.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I'm gonna give you three you're gonna get the best
of me once I come back from thisfishing trip and then, and then
, and then I can throw in someweekends.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I, I got you, babe, I got you, I got you, and that's
probably what he's thinking.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
But see, but this process is also.
He's thinking this is the wholeidea of she'll always be there.
She will, but that's how I wastalking about you Goodbye.
But that's how relationshipscan start getting into trouble.
When you have that, when youhave that thought process like
oh, I could just put you on theback burner because you're gonna
(33:15):
be there, like okay, you're notgoing anywhere, so I'm gonna
decide to focus here instead ofprioritizing you because you're
gonna be there this is why I wascoming from you, oh you're
trying to say I don't prioritizeyou, you didn't when are you?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
talking about yesterday on the phone no, I'm
talking about okay, about Okay.
First of all, don't come for me.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm talking about when you, I was talking to my
mom.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I was talking about when you were working.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
When are you talking about when I was working?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
When you were a working person and you were a
career woman, your career wasabove everything.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It wasn't above everything, it was.
No, it was.
It's just that our jobs werevery different.
No, no anywho, I've apologizedfor for making you feel like you
weren't a priority oh nobecause you were, you were,
you're always a priority, I mean.
But I do.
I did have to work, sir, likeyou wasn't complaining when I
was making money, he wasn'tcomplaining when I was making
money but are you done?
(34:08):
no, I'm not done, damel, are youdone?
I I'm going to hit you.
Would it be the first time?
Yes, it would be.
Anyway, I've apologized formaking you.
If you push it, I'm going topinch the crap out of you.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Y'all see how violent she is.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I apologize to you for making you feel like I
wasn't prioritizing you.
I was in tunnel vision.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I always I was in tunnel vision.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I always I mean I like to think that I always
prioritized you, but you saidthat was not your experience,
and I'm not gonna argue withyour experience.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, um, but anywho, back towhat I was saying that I think
how you put people in the backburner putting her like on the
back burner because now he's,he's like okay, I've already
sealed the deal.
I've sealed the deal.
You're my wife.
This is going to be one of manyarguments, right, it's going to
be one of many times whereyou're upset with me married.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
First argument out the way and that's, that's
makeup shut up first argumentout the way.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Are we cute?
Speaker 2 (35:03):
look, we're knocking no, we're knocking this
checklist off quick.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
No, but that that that's not the time, sir, to go
into your fishing trip.
It is no, it's not.
Just plan the sir to go intoyour fishing trip.
It is no, it's not Just planthe fishing trip, and it's also
probably one of those thingsthat's the only week everybody's
schedule Right Probably linedup to go fishing.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
But here's the thing, ok, my only was like.
It comes a time where you haveto make a choice.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh yeah, and see, and I prioritized you, I stayed
home, you didn't?
He made me quit.
And then I went back and thenyou're like you should stay home
.
Okay, go ahead.
Sorry, never mind, go ahead.
What were you saying All day?
She didn't cut me off all day.
Goodbye.
All you do is cut me off.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
All go ahead, go ahead.
There comes a time whereactually in marriage, there's
going to come multiple timeswhere you're going to have to
choose your wife over yourfriends or over your happiness.
And he just chose his happinessthis time.
I can understand that.
Interesting.
I wish I was man enough to doit, that's all I'm going to say.
Happiness, this time I canunderstand that.
Interesting.
(36:13):
I wish I was man enough to doit, that's all.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I'm going to say this broken story you tell yourself
in your head.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Yeah, I'm broke because of you.
You're right.
It's just crazy.
You're right, I'm broke becauseof you.
Crazy work, because as soon asyour childhood were here, you
and your daughter would be gone.
Oh, now you sleep, are you done?
Are you done?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
okay, go read the last one um, am I the asshole
for telling my husband I never.
I would have never had his babyif I knew he'd break our deal
damn when we got married, myhusband and I agreed that if we
did have a child, that he'd bethe stay at home parent Once the
maternity leave.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Look at you.
You played yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I earned more and I genuinely love my career.
And he said that he wanted tobe a hands on dad.
Our daughter is now eightmonths old and he just told me
that he has decided to go backto work full time and that his
mom will come and help watch thebaby.
I was stunned.
That was not the deal.
I sacrificed a lot, physicallyand emotionally, to have this
(37:18):
baby, partly because I trustedhim.
I told him during the argumentthat I would have never agreed
to it if I knew he would bail.
Now he's calling me heartlessand saying that I'm using our
daughter as leverage.
I feel betrayed.
Am I the asshole for sayingwhat I did?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
No, but I get his stance.
He broke the deal.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
He broke the deal.
And no, you're not an asshole.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
He broke the deal and yeah, but he didn't understand
the gravity of the deal.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah well, I don't think you did either.
When you asked I didn't, youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I looked down, you didn't Look, played myself.
Played yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
It's all.
I feel like you get to a pointsometimes as you get older like
especially after you get marriedand stuff and everything feels
all good.
And then the naturalinclination is like, oh, we
should have a baby, like, let'shave a baby.
I didn't want to have a baby, Iwant to have sex, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
A lot of it You're like let's have a baby.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You're like, oh my gosh, it will be so cute like
our baby.
And then everybody thinks thattheir baby is going to be like
the exception to the rule.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Like their baby is going to come out.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You know that already has the handbook their baby is
gonna.
Their baby is the originator ofthe handbook.
Yeah, perfect sleep.
I mean, some people probablydid get uh, blessed in that way,
you know.
And then the baby gets here andbe like damn, you played
yourself, played yourself,played yourself hard, and now
it's eight months and he said,look, look b look at bitch, I've
been hands-on I can't do it butit's time for papa to go back
to work and honestly.
(38:53):
He said it's time for me tostress about other things.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And look here I tell people all the time One to like
six months is the easiest it'sgoing to get.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Because they don't really do much.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
All you really got to struggle with is your sleep.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
That's huge.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
When you're taking care of another person.
But from six months on now,you're struggling with your
sleep and you chasing them.
What six month old is theycrawling oh, some crawl yeah so
now you gotta start babyproofing shit.
They start and then and then,when they get about a year and a
half and they stop taking napsall of a sudden, and you look at
them like what's wrong with you, you ain't tired, you was just
doing vocal gymnastics not vocalgymnastics.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Vocal gymnastics is wild and then what?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
and then everybody say terrible twos.
But it's really terrible threes.
Yeah, them threes is them.
Threes will make you want tokick a baby out the house.
Okay, look here.
And then, when four comes, theattitude.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Them threes and fours .
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I was starting to consider melatonin I said listen
, I've never been an advocatefor drugging babies and four
comes the attitude, and five andsix comes the why and the
questions oh no, why is alsobefore?
Speaker 1 (40:05):
why is like the three and four too?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
but but now they can ask questions that well, because
they can verbalize more andit's terrible.
Yeah, they can verbalize more.
And it's terrible.
Yeah, they can verbalize more.
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
And then seven and eight.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
It's a whole damn person.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Look here, let me just tell you all this real
quick.
There will come a time where Ilike how you stop and break it
down, go ahead.
There will come a time whereyou will look at your child and
say why did I do this to myself?
Bye, you're going to love them.
You're always going to lovethem.
But the stress that they putunder you and then the talking
(40:43):
back and it take when you'retrying to heal yourself oh, my
God, you were raised and theideology of it all, and you're
trying to do things differently,you start to understand.
I see why they did that.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I see why they said stay in a child's place and shut
up.
I see why they said childrenare to be seen and not heard,
because this one won't shut up.
I love it.
Except last night she was on it.
I said can you call mesomething else other than mom
Right, because you keep hittingme with the mom?
Oh my God, Mom, hey, mom, mom,I was like, call me Jackie.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
She going to call you mama.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Call me something else.
Oh, I love when she says mama,though Mama.
I love when she cuddles up thenext to me and she goes Mama,
and I'll be like, yes, my baby,that's my baby.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That's my shit.
Let me just say this I do feellike he's wrong, but I
understand like if he wanted togo back to work, it should have
been a conversation.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, he should have told her.
He shouldn't have just beenlike I got the job back.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
I'm going with a newborn until you're in it.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's why she said she wasn't going to be there,
yeah, exactly.
You hear how this was a wholediscussion to have, because he
probably had to low-key convinceher to have a baby, and he was
like I really want a baby.
And she said, okay, here's thedeal I will give you a baby.
Literally, I will give you a ababy, but you're going to be
home with the baby.
Do not, do not, under anycircumstance, expect for me to
(42:16):
be home with this child withthis child at all until I get
off work at all.
That's it.
I love my kid love her.
To death and he was like okay,bet.
And now it's eight months andhe's like yeah, I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
At least you have a mother-in-law that's willing to
help you, because I mean mean,if the situation were like you
guys had, no help.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
And now you can't put daycare, how about I look after
him?
Yeah, but we don't know if shelike his mama.
Right, she probably don't.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You know the in-law situation is always it's rough
waters, it's a dangerous hikingpath.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
You don't know what you're going to get.
It's like a box of chocolates.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Okay, you never know what you're going to get.
This has been another episodeof the Life After I Do podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Once again, we'd like to thank all you guys for all
the growth, all the engagementall the shares, the likes, the
followers.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
We appreciate all the love.
We are officially 88 episodesin guys.
That's crazy work, crazy work,the likes, the followers.
We appreciate all the love.
We are officially 88 episodesin guys.
That's crazy work, crazy work.
We're approaching the big 100mark we'll be there before we
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You can Shoot the DMs OnInstagram or TikTok or you can
email us At lifeafterdopodcast.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
At gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
And like always Every Wednesday, you get a new Fire
ass episode with my beautiful,fine ass wife.
And until next time, peaceboskies, peace boskies.
Oh, I can just put you on the back burner because
you're going to be there, Likeyou're not going anywhere.
So I'm going to decide to focushere instead of prioritizing
you because you're going to bethere.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This is wild coming from you oh.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're trying to say I don't prioritize you.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hey everybody and welcome back to another week of
life after I do with me Nish andMo.
That's what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mo to the E to a no Molito.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
No, nish and Mo.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
No, why do you want Nish and Mo Monisha?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I'm first.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Monisha.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
It sounds better Nish and Mo Mo to the.
That kind of sounds like itcould be like a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Monisha, monisha, ooh , if we have another child, and
there's a daughter, we're gonnaname her Monisha.
We're not, though.
We have to.
We're not Phoenix and MonishaNot gonna happen.
I don't know where I'm gonnaget Monisha tatted on me.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
We can name her Phoenix and Lauderdale.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Fort Ha ha ha ha.
Are you done?
Yes, are you done.
Are you done?
Damn, I got them.
Daughter Lauderdale Interesting.
Hi, babe.
My next daughter will be namedRogue.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I could get behind Rogue.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's an X-Men thing going on here.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
We said Rogue, it's an.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
X-Men thing I liked.
Hendrix, you said we could doStorm Maybe as a middle name.
Nah Storm.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Probably not a first name Storm.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
And if it's a boy, his name was Remy.
No, it's not Remy Lebeau, thebest X-Man there is.
Argue with your mama.
Gambit is the best X-Man thereis.
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I mean, we can name him Gambit.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
I'm cool with that.
I'm still calling Remy.
No, remy, get your ass in here.
I can't do that.
Hey, booskies, hi, how was yourweek?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good, are you done Okay?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, what's good about it?
I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, I had a pretty.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Let me stop you.
Oh God, let me stop you.
Okay, let me tell the peopleright now.
Okay, tell them what.
What are we telling them?
This aura around my wife thisweek, every day, this week, has
been giving.
He's been obsessed.
It's been giving Everything.
Okay, giving.
(02:42):
Yesterday in the gym I was likeGiving Ass was assing, titties
was tittying.
Waist was snatched, I said.
I said there go my post-workoutmeal, right there I'm looking
at my post-workout meal.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I was like dude, let me breathe.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
I was like let me work out.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I was like between you coming back and forth and
circling and home dude standingnext to me circling, look, I was
like look here.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I know it was leg day , I said, but after this I'm
have some legs wrapped around me.
You hear me?
I can't because it was giving.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I appreciate that.
Thank you, that made me feelgood.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
People think you taller than me because you be
sitting on high and shit.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
No, it's just because you're smaller than me.
Oh, okay, not in a bad way.
Okay, big bro.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
We back to big bro, not in a bad way, you weigh less
than I do so you visibly looksmaller than I do.
Alright, big bro oh my gosh, Iwas joking.
I was joking Alright, big bro.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I told him he's gonna refer to me as big bro.
All right, come on, big bro,stop it.
No, it was a good.
It was a good um week.
It was in um.
I had energy.
I got some energy back I gotenergy.
You got a lot of I wish I couldhave a little bit of that like
today right now, but maybe onceI eat, once you eat, I'm hoping,
like once I eat.
I mean, I don't feel terribleright now, I just don't feel
like, like pump and you knowwhat it is, though what?
(04:12):
no pre-workout, no what?
because I didn't like what areyou doing like in the morning,
like in the mornings, and itjust especially like yesterday,
because yesterday was deadliftday.
You know, that's like myfavorite day.
So it's like I wake up with alike a little, because I'm like
excited, I'm like, ah, like Iget to get to it.
You know, and even when I wasdoing my warm-ups yesterday I
was like like getting through mywarm-ups because I was like I'm
(04:34):
trying to get up to this topset, like you know what I mean.
I'm trying to get to a top settoo.
I can't with you, um, but yeah,today is today is cardio and
steps.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
So I don't normally do.
It's not given the same.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
It's not given the same, except if they're playing
a good movie at the theater.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
But yeah so, and I don't normally do, I don't
normally go to the gym in themorning on my cardio step days I
use that time when Phoenix isat practice to go, because it
kind of puts me on a time crunchand then it gives me a, you
know a reason to recoverymorning so I can come home and
like just relax.
You know what I mean.
All right, I mean, but I got avacuum and sweeping mop and
stuff, so I'm not sure how much?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
yeah, because you wear 17 titles around here what
housekeeper your position isstay at home mom-huh, but the
duties is like 17 different jobs, that's a lot.
And then when you clock out forbeing a stay-at-home mom and
you clock in for being a wife,then that's like seven different
duties.
Yeah, because the first one isfreak in the sheets.
(05:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
My week was cool.
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My week was cool.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
That's, my week was cool.
Goodbye, my week was cool.
That's good, good vibes, uh huh.
Only I'm really, I'm reallyloving this new work schedule.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I actually really do like the new work schedule.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I said, yeah, I do your daughter doesn't like it
too much she hates it.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
She likes the part that you're here in the morning,
but she doesn't like thatyou're not here before she goes
to sleep at night.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
She said today.
She was like am I going to seeyou in the morning again?
I said yeah, baby, you're notgonna see me tonight.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Why, although she's been using it as an excuse to be
in the bed.
So, like I came, I came out ofthe bathroom last night and she
was laying on your side and Iwas like nope, I was like
Phoenix getting your bed.
And she was like do you knowwhy I'm over here?
(06:27):
Like with her sad face, do youknow why I'm over here?
And I was like why?
Because I miss my dad.
I miss me.
No, because, like, I reallymissed you today too and I got
no time with you.
I went to school and then I hadto go to and you pick me up
late yeah, I was like oh you arelaying it on so thick.
Hold on so this, this so thick.
I don't so this so thick.
I don't know how that happenedwhen she ratted you out, because
(06:48):
what's crazy is, I looked atthe time like three times and
every time I looked at the timeit never clicked that the baby
was out of school and outsidewaiting in the sun.
I just don't know what.
Yesterday it just you know,deadlifts take a lot out of me
mentally and physically.
It was at this moment he knewhe fucked up, but when I look, I
(07:10):
was laying down in the bed andI was watching Handmaid's Tale.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That's the problem.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
See, look here.
No, because let me tell you, Ilooked at the time.
The first time I looked at thetime it was like 1.48.
And I'm like okay, that'susually about the time I leave.
But I looked at that time andmy brain didn't, it did not
register.
And then I looked at the timeanother time.
It didn't register.
I looked at the clock again andit said 225.
And like wait a minute, you hadmy baby out there for over half
(07:34):
an hour Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I looked at the time and itsaid 225.
And then I literally lookedpast it and continued like
looking at the TV.
And then it literally clickedin my head and I was like, oh
shoot, she got out of school attwo.
I said oh no, oh no.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
This will reflect poorly.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I was like the baby been out of school for 20
minutes.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
This will reflect poorly on your review.
Oh my God, Let me tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I don't know what happened.
Let me tell y'all.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
This morning, when I was talking to my baby and I was
like how was your day yesterday?
She said it was good and she'slike your wife picked me up late
.
She was late, dad.
I was out there in that sun.
I said how long were you outthere?
She was like I was out therefor like 50 minutes I said you
don't even have a concept oftime.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You were not out there for 50 minutes.
She said it was so hot.
She was out there with likefour other kids.
So I didn't feel bad when I sawthe other kids too, because I
said, oh, we're all effing uptoday.
I was more annoyed that thefact that she went into the
office and she said the officetold them to go outside and sit
under some shit Cause they wantsome AC on time.
And so when I, when I walked up, it was her and four other kids
(08:49):
and the other little boy he wason.
He was on his cell phone, liketrying to see where his parent
was.
Like he's like I'm outside,like where are you?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It was hot, it was hot yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And so I picked her up and she's she's giving me you
know how she'd give me the lookand she'd give me the look like
bitch, where have you been?
You got me out here with therest of these and she was like
where were you?
And you know what I told her.
I said I had a meeting that ranover Phoenix, oh wow.
And the meeting was handmade.
And then not me showing up inlike sweatpants, a sweatshirt,
(09:21):
hair crooked to the side, noface moisturizer.
I had a meeting that ran overand then she looked at me and
she scrunched her face and shewas like what kind of meeting?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
She didn't believe you.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
I was like it was a conference call.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Because when she was talking to me in the morning she
was like Dad, you would never.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Listen, okay, we're all entitled to mistakes.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Okay, I mean you just took half of my week time, so I
guess that's my mistake.
Goodbye, so what was your?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
week.
It was cool.
Don't do that.
It was cool.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Go ahead.
I want to hear about it.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You in my business, I'm going to do that.
Don't do that.
It was cool.
I want to do that.
Good vibes yes, very much so.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You know what I'm saying no, no more back rolls.
Look at you showing out,showing out.
This morning, when he took hisshirt off, I was like I'm sorry,
sir.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
The bakery is closed.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I was like, sir, all I see is lines right there.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
No, no rolls in the back, but a gut in the front.
Not really, you know, it'sthere.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
I mean, but it's like it's deflated.
It's still there, it's deflated, but I see your fabs, it's
lapping over.
I see your fabs, my flabs, yourfabs.
What's that Fat abs?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Oh yeah, cut off season coming.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I see your fabs coming through.
Cut off season coming I waslike I said my meow, my meow.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Like my Like, like my like.
Shout out to eric bellinger.
That's my one of my favoriter&b artists.
You know he always does hiscuffing season like eps.
Uh-huh, I'm, I'm taking a step.
Uh, a note out of his page.
I'm saying cutoff season iscoming.
Cutoff season because I'mwearing these crop tops so y'all
can see these abs.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Okay let's see how true that is, because I I just
bought you sleeveless shirts andyou still can't wrap your body
around wearing a sleevelesst-shirt.
I just feel naked.
I was like.
I was like babe, you look sogood, Like your arms look really
good, Like they're doing it forme.
I need you to wear them out andI need you in these seven inch
seam shorts.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Like I don't know what the problem is Okay, hold
on.
So I bought the seven inchsleeves with the one pair I
bought last week.
That's one pair.
I was like, okay, it wasn't toobad, so I might.
The next set might be seven.
Now, look, now you trying to gothe five.
That's too much.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
It's really not, though, because you got the leg.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
You trying to have me kicked out the gym nowadays.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I think you'll be fine.
You'll be covered up more thannipples, I don't.
But yeah, but I don't want mymember to fall out.
Babe, listen if you, if you gotto show a little, you know what
, Okay.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
You just got to do what you got to do.
You say that to nipples.
Come on up to me.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I slapped that hole in her face, just like them
other two wangers.
Can you show us how to workthat you don't see?
All these other men in the gym?
Don't come up to my listen here.
Hold on psa, here we go.
Look at his face, committed tomemory.
All the men that you see in thegym, don't ask this one to help
you with equipment, okay, don't, don't.
There's a lot of other men whoare willing to help with
(12:30):
equipment.
He, he can't, okay, especiallyif I've seen you in the gym for
the past four months.
If you haven't figured out howto work all the equipment in
there by now, I don't know whatto tell you.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Ask a trainer.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
But look at this face .
Don't ask him Okay, what we gotthere?
Okay, what we got there.
Let me, just Because you knowwomen will try it, women will
try it.
Who, who will try it?
Oh my gosh, stop it.
Um, okay, so it's an R2C.
(13:05):
I gotta get an.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
R2C, drop R2C.
Yeah, I mean it's.
It's uh, the internet'sfavorite episode, you know as
shout out to Desert Diva.
It's her favorite segment ofthe show.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
People just like mess and you like mess too, I like
Me too.
You like mess too, I like it.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I like it when it's not my mess.
Oh, as long as I'm not involved.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Okay, I mean, don't create no mess.
I don't want us to be yourreaction.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Right, am I the asshole for leaving the podcast
after my wife knows where I am?
Bye, okay, so let's lightly tapour feet into it, shall we.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Am I the asshole for canceling my financial support
for my son's wedding after hisfiance catfished him to test his
loyalty?
Hmm, ok, my son, who's 23, justrecently got engaged a few
months ago.
Recently he admitted that, orrecently he admitted to me that
he had been texting with thegirl that he met on Tinder.
(14:07):
That alone already shocked me.
He's engaged and that'sobviously not acceptable
behavior, you know.
But here's the twist.
The girl on Tinder was actuallyhis fiance.
She made a fake account toquote, unquote test whether he
would stay loyal, and when heflirted back, she confronted him
(14:28):
.
Yes, what my son did was messedup, but creating a whole fake
profile to trap your partner,that's manipulation.
If you have to run stingoperations to trust your fiance,
maybe y'all shouldn't begetting married.
After learning this, I told myson that I would not be paying
for his wedding anymore.
I don't want to support amarriage that already starts
(14:48):
with lies and games from bothsides.
Okay, some people in the familysay that I'm overreacting and
that I'm punishing in them both.
But what's your opinion?
Stand on business it's yourmoney.
Facts it's your money, and he'sabsolutely right.
Y'all sitting here playingthese foolish games before
making a lifetime commitment toeach other.
(15:08):
It sounds like y'all don't needto be getting married, because
if you're still entertainingchicks on Tinder and she's
setting up sting traps.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
But my thing is.
My thing is why is your Tinderaccount still?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
active?
Active if you engage.
It doesn't even matter if it'sactive still active.
Active if you engage?
No, it doesn't even matter.
If it's active, why is the appstill on your phone?
Why are you even going in tech?
Well, like I don't understandhow you still have a connection
to the app and then here's,here's how I would have flipped
it.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
If you messaged me from a fake account, who else
you messaging?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
no, no we're not.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, we're not gonna do that.
Yeah, that's narcissism at itsbest.
We're not gonna do that so shecould play games, but I can't.
No, we're not gonna do.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Do that so she can play games, but I can't.
No, we're not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
That's wild.
No, it's not.
But I don't think, pops, Idon't think you're wrong, I
wouldn't be.
First of all, I ain't payingfor no floozy to marry my son
anyway.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Why she got to be a floozy.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Because ain't nobody good enough for my son, just
like ain't nobody good enoughLuzi.
It is.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I think I'm more concerned with the fact why she
felt like she had to.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
If they've been on Tinder.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Why she had to do that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
She had to know.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Like he must already have some questionable.
Activities yeah, somequestionable tendencies, some
activities.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
That led to this.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
And so he's, and he, you know I don't know why, but
it just made me think about heprobably proposed to her to kind
of like hush her down and makeher feel like, babe, you are
special, it's just going to beyou, but I'm still going to be
up to my old ways.
And she knew it.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
But she may very well be special, she just ain't the
only one he want Preach.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Bishop, Tell us more.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
That's the thing.
Tell us more.
That's the thing, tell us more.
It's like now I'm listening.
I'll tell you from myperspective like you, everything
I need Right.
But if I ever was inclined tostep out, it would be known I'm
not leaving my wife Interesting.
She's always it's like.
It's like the Jew's uncle said.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
What?
Who I deal with outside mymarriage ain't got nothing to do
with you.
And he's like he told his sidepiece.
He said don't you everdisrespect my wife and don't you
ever think you're going to bein her position.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
He basically said bitches you crazy, because you
ain't going to never have herrole.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
That's what he said.
He said because you could neverbe my this woman right here.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
And that's what I tell him this woman right here.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
She will always be taken care of you.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
There ain't no woman out here that can take your spot
.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Now see, listen here.
You say that some men will saythat to some women and on a very
surface level.
I feel like some women willfeel like empowered and feel
like, yes, you know, he may, maydo his dirt, but I know where
his heart is.
Yeah, damn that you ain't one,damn that you ain't one.
That's you ain't gotta leave,but you will I know how to use a
(17:53):
door.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That's fine, and even if you choose to leave your
spot will it all be there foryou, oh okay, well.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, you know what I could be happy in that you know
I could, I could, I could behappy.
What I'm telling you is I couldbe, I could still leave and
know that at any given.
You know, and that's theleverage, that's the leverage I
would have over your new chick.
I'd be like you know what boosee, see, that's.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
That's what you messed up, because there ain't
gonna be no new chicks.
What I mean by this spot is allgonna be yours is.
It means you're the only personthat can sit there, exactly so
when you leave, ain't nobodygoing to be there temporarily
either.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I mean, you'll probably be seeing somebody,
whether it's sexual or not.
That's it, yeah, but she maynot know that I'm going to let
them know.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Look here, I'm here for a good time not a long time.
I'm here for a good time, not along time.
So if you, if you trying tobuild something, I'm not the one
babe, I don't want to wasteyour time.
If you trying to have A couplefun weekends and some shit like
that, I'm your man, I'm your man.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
But if you trying to have a Are you going to foot the
bill 50-50?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Oh yeah, no, depending on how good the cat is
.
Oh yeah, no, oh no, you going.
Oh yeah, no, depending on howgood the cat is.
Oh yeah, no, oh no, you'regoing to be that guy, but I'm
not.
No, no.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
It ain't like that, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
You're going to be that guy, babe, no, but sir, you
know I wouldn't pay for iteither.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, I'm right there with him, I wouldn't pay for it
.
Okay, let's see.
Am I the asshole for notwanting my girlfriend to have a
free holiday with her ex?
Okay, a free vacation.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
So I've been dating my currentgirlfriend for about nine months
or so.
Her ex-boyfriend that she brokeup with about six months before
(19:38):
we started dating has recentlystarted talking to her again.
I don't feel partiallycomfortable, particularly
comfortable about this, as Ibelieve he wants to get back
with her.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
He does.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
But they have only seen each other a few times in a
group setting, so I haven'tseen it as a big deal up until
this point.
Red flag.
Earlier today she approached mesaying that she needed to talk
to me.
She explained that herex-boyfriend was offering a
vacation with her to apologizefor treating her badly in the
past.
He's offering to pay for theplane ticket, hotels, everything
(20:11):
.
I talked with her and sheagrees that she thinks he is
trying to start somethingbetween them again, but they
will be staying in separaterooms and a free vacation is an
extremely good offer, so shedoesn't want to turn it down.
I feel extremely mixed aboutthis.
I understand her wanting to go,but it makes me extremely
uncomfortable and upset, as wellas feeling disrespected.
(20:32):
I am even contemplating endingthings, as it would make things
easier for the both of us.
What should I do?
Speaker 2 (20:39):
if she go on that vacation, leave her look here.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
I think that the way the whole scenario, the whole
story just seems crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Because, yeah, they in separate rooms that they can
leave, and so they can sleep inboth rooms together, so they can
have a rendezvous in her roomone night, a rendezvous in his
room the other night, stop.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Okay, but here's the thing, here's the thing If you
go with her.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
That's what I'm saying.
That's different.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I'm saying why don't you just go with her?
Just go with her, but if shewon't buy herself, he can still
pay her way.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Go with her, right, and you pay your way, yeah and
then smash her in the room nextto her so he can hear her.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Because I know the room's going to be next door.
Next to each other.
My response would have beenlike okay, if he wants to be
dumb enough to go ahead and payfor you a whole vacation, let
him do that.
Boo, I'm going to buy my ticket.
You ain't even got to tell himI'm coming.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
That's like if we were in the club, because we all
fam.
And somebody was buying youdrinks, I'm going to say, no,
babe, take them drinks, this isthe drink I want.
Let him keep buying my damndrinks.
This is the drink I want, comeon now.
So either go on a vacation withher or leave Like, come on now,
(21:52):
you're okay with them beingaround in a friend setting.
So you don't think they didn'thave intimate conversations in
that setting just becausefriends were around.
This is true.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Come on now and he's playing hardball.
He said look, all expenses paid.
I just want to apologize.
He said I just want to.
I mean he could still apologize, you could still pay for my
vacation, but you ain't got tocome.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Right, if he was really sorry, he would pay for
y'all vacation.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Okay, that's a little wild, is it?
I think so.
Or he could have just sent herlike a gift basket too.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Yeah, he's trying to.
He could.
He's trying to give her a bowlaround his penis.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I'm just saying he always has to take it there, hey
.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
All right, separate rooms.
Come on now.
This one is advice needed,please.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I got something for you.
I'm convinced this is divorceworthy, but some families say
that I'm making it a bigger dealthan it needs to be.
Okay, I'll start with somebackground.
I was raised by a man who hatedpeople of color.
I have a total of sevensiblings three older brothers,
one older sister, one youngersister and two younger brothers.
(22:57):
We all have the same dad, butthe older siblings have a
different mom.
We are all fully Caucasian.
My younger siblings have nothad children yet.
I have two kids who are white.
All my other siblings havechildren.
In total they have eight kids,all of who are mixed.
I love all my nephews andnieces.
(23:19):
Despite being raised around ahateful man, I never
internalized his thoughts as myown.
I went to school with primarilyblack kids and still today
those are some of my closestfriends.
I've told my husband about mypast.
I've told him how sick it wasto be a child having to listen
to my dad talk about people sohateful, how confusing it was
because I went to school with somany and was close friends with
(23:42):
many.
My husband has two nephews andone niece.
The two boys are white.
His sister just had her firstHis niece, who was mixed, a
beautiful baby girl with a headfull of hair, just absolutely
precious.
We went to go visit and Ibrought his sister some soups
for easy dinner.
Her race never came up in anyconversation because I didn't
(24:04):
think it mattered.
I mean, she's a baby and she'sfamily.
When we got home, my husbandlet out the biggest sigh and
said oh, how ugly that littlebaby was.
He also added some other foullanguage regarding his baby
niece.
I didn't really want to typeall that out specifically
because what he said isdisgusting.
(24:24):
He said this in front of ourfour-year-old like it was not a
big deal.
Now I'm worried.
Our son will go to school whichis primarily mixed race, saying
foul language.
I'm convinced that this isdivorce worthy.
I'm sick about it because now Ihave two children with this man
.
If I leave, he will have timewith them.
And what if he says the samefoul language in front of them
(24:46):
on his time and all the years?
He has never said anything likethis before, but before we met
he was dating a white woman whohad a mixed daughter for a year.
He also has multiple blackfriends that he grew up with.
I would have never imaginedthose words coming from his
mouth, let alone about family.
(25:09):
I'm speaking with a lawyer nextweek and I just don't know what
I'm going to do to shield mykids from this advice.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
That's crazy, that's crazy, that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
First of all, first question to you If you were in
that situation situation, do youfeel like that's divorce worthy
behavior?
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I think that's a hard question because it's like your
whole life.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Your whole life came down to that one one right, yeah
, and so yes or no?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I don't know.
I'm conflicted why?
Because she's white.
Uh, if she was black it'd bedifferent, um no, but if you
were in the situation, I'mleaving.
I'm leaving because if I'mblack and she, and she says that
and she's white, yeah okay,what is she?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
black, and she says it about your brother, yeah
that's wild no, it's wild.
And she's black, you're leaving.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
If she's white, I feel like we're all the problem
no, I just feel like I I I feellike there should be a
conversation, should be hadfirst.
Okay, right now I don't condonewhat he said, absolutely not
and his choice of words, andit's clear that he, he only felt
that we, he only felt safeenough to say it once he got
(26:21):
home.
Oh, of course and I mean thisgoes to my point like, just
because, just because they can'thave black friends, don't?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
mean it doesn't mean anything.
Yeah, that don't mean shit.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Yeah um, because like I, like I.
I think I commented onsomething the other day and I
said it doesn't matter, um, itdoesn't matter how many black
friends certain white peoplehave.
Their associated whiteness willalways be their greatest asset,
because they'll leave theirBlack friends to join the fold
if necessary.
At this point, I think you'dhave to think about the children
(26:49):
.
While I don't necessarilybelieve that.
You know, maybe this is aone-off or maybe this is who he
really is, I think this issomething where it's kind of
hard to really navigate, but Ido feel like you have to also
tread lightly and, at the sametime, I feel like divorce is
(27:10):
extreme and that a conversationshould be had first and actually
understand his ideology Goddamn it, ideology, yes About the
situation and see where hisstance, see where his, where his
stance actually lies, and thendetermine if that's something
you want to be around orsomething you want to raise your
kids in.
That's what I say.
(27:30):
Okay, what do you say?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I feel as though, yes , a conversation excuse me, a
conversation definitely needs tobe had.
I would be curious about histhought process and what, like,
what?
What drove him to say thatfirst, like, if this is
something a part of hischaracter, who he is now, then
(27:53):
that is going to be a dealbreaker, because the one thing,
because if that's not who, ifthat's not who I marry, like,
yes, people evolve and thingslike that, but, um, if that is
so far left of who, you were.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
But here's the thing, he's a.
He's a bitch in the momentbecause he didn't say that in
front of the baby's father,right?
So he's a bitch.
He said it where he feltcomfortable yeah a lot of people
.
A lot of people will hold theirtongue because of the pushback
they might get.
Oh, of course, but when theyget around somewhere safe,
they'll.
They'll say, they'll let it outright.
That's why I say I said itdon't.
(28:25):
That's why I always say, like,if you can't say it to my face,
it don't, it don't fuckingmatter to me, because you want
enough to say it anyway, yeah.
So yeah, sit your ass down.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Yeah, so I would definitely have a conversation,
first pick his brain, see, likeyou know, see his thought
process on this whole situation,and then pretty much make my
decision from there, if this ispretty much who he is and he has
those same type of ideologiesthat I grew up with from my own
father and I didn't like it andit made me uncomfortable.
(28:59):
I definitely wouldn't want mychildren around it, but I mean
it also might be inevitable foryour children to be around it if
you're still going to sharecustody with them once you
divorce.
But that's what she said.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, that's what she said.
She was thinking about saying.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
You know what I'm saying.
So, and then it's going to beeven worse, because then he'll
be upset and probably spitefuland resentful and all the fools.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
You know he's a man, so Let me say this He'll be all
the fools Black people have beeneverything under the sun since
we stopped working for free okay, um we stopped working for free
(29:42):
and all of a sudden we lazyyeah, I mean, I can't disagree.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
All right, here we Nope Am I overreacting?
For being upset that my fiancescheduled our honeymoon with his
friends.
Okay, hold on, go ahead.
So my fiance, who's 28, and Imyself, who's 22, are getting
married in two months.
We've been planning everythingtogether Venue, food, guest list
(30:10):
, all of that.
We agreed early on that we takea week long honeymoon right
after the wedding, and I was soexcited.
Well, I just found out that hehas booked a four day fishing
trip with his friends during ourplanned honeymoon week.
When I asked him about it, hesaid it's just a few days and
I'll be back in time for therest of the week.
I told him that wasn't thepoint.
(30:32):
This is our first week as amarried days and I'll be back in
time for the rest of the week.
I told him that wasn't thepoint.
This is our first week as amarried couple and he's
prioritizing a fishing trip.
He said that I was being clingyand it's not a big deal because
we have the rest of our livesto be together and take trips.
I honestly feel like he doesn'tget how important this moment
is for me, for us.
I told him that I was hurt andnow he's acting like I'm blowing
(30:52):
things out of proportion.
Am I overreacting for thinkingthat our honeymoon should just
be about us?
Speaker 2 (30:59):
no, no, you're not overreacting and it's kind of
weird.
Okay, hold on, I don't get this, so he knew.
Okay, I don't get this, so heknew.
Yes, he knew.
So here's my question was thefishing trip already there
before they started?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
no, okay, that's why she's upset, because they
planned the week-long honeymoonand then he turned around, so
like they have like seven daystogether.
He's gonna fish for four ofthose days with his friends and
then he's gonna give her therest of the days and his excuse
is we have the rest of our livesto take more trips like don
don't, don't get hung up on this.
Well, that is true.
(31:33):
Ok, that's a dumb way ofthinking about it.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
They do have the rest of their lives together to take
more trips, but this is yourfirst week.
This is important.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
That's what she said.
She was like it's our firstweek together as a married
couple, and I would be more.
I'm not, at this point, evenupset about the fishing trip.
I'm upset about your thoughtprocess.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
Okay, hold on.
Here's my thing.
How long have they beentogether?
See, I got follow-up questions.
Okay, you can ask her.
I don't know how long were theytogether before they got
married.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Doesn't matter.
She only said 22,.
So as long as they've beentogether, that's four years, and
even then that's R Kelly.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Bye.
It doesn't matter though.
It's our honeymoon, it's a weekafter we get married.
So this is the first thing thatcame to my mind.
This is what came to my mind.
What came to my mind was heonly got that week approved off
(32:28):
of work for vacation.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
He only got that week approved for work for his
vacation.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
That's probably his last vacation for the year and
he can't get another vacation,so he's like I gotta do.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I got everything I gotta make it do what.
I gotta make it do what it do.
So, look, look, let me getthese four days.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I'm gonna give you three you're gonna get the best
of me once I come back from thisfishing trip and then, and then
, and then I can throw in someweekends.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
I, I got you, babe, I got you, I got you, and that's
probably what he's thinking.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
But see, but this process is also.
He's thinking this is the wholeidea of she'll always be there.
She will, but that's how I wastalking about you Goodbye.
But that's how relationshipscan start getting into trouble.
When you have that, when youhave that thought process like
oh, I could just put you on theback burner because you're gonna
(33:15):
be there, like okay, you're notgoing anywhere, so I'm gonna
decide to focus here instead ofprioritizing you because you're
gonna be there this is why I wascoming from you, oh you're
trying to say I don't prioritizeyou, you didn't when are you?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
talking about yesterday on the phone no, I'm
talking about okay, about Okay.
First of all, don't come for me.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
I'm talking about when you, I was talking to my
mom.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I was talking about when you were working.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
When are you talking about when I was working?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
When you were a working person and you were a
career woman, your career wasabove everything.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
It wasn't above everything, it was.
No, it was.
It's just that our jobs werevery different.
No, no anywho, I've apologizedfor for making you feel like you
weren't a priority oh nobecause you were, you were,
you're always a priority, I mean.
But I do.
I did have to work, sir, likeyou wasn't complaining when I
was making money, he wasn'tcomplaining when I was making
money but are you done?
(34:08):
no, I'm not done, damel, are youdone?
I I'm going to hit you.
Would it be the first time?
Yes, it would be.
Anyway, I've apologized formaking you.
If you push it, I'm going topinch the crap out of you.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Y'all see how violent she is.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I apologize to you for making you feel like I
wasn't prioritizing you.
I was in tunnel vision.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I always I was in tunnel vision.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I always I mean I like to think that I always
prioritized you, but you saidthat was not your experience,
and I'm not gonna argue withyour experience.
Okay, here we go.
Okay, um, but anywho, back towhat I was saying that I think
how you put people in the backburner putting her like on the
back burner because now he's,he's like okay, I've already
sealed the deal.
I've sealed the deal.
You're my wife.
This is going to be one of manyarguments, right, it's going to
be one of many times whereyou're upset with me married.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
First argument out the way and that's, that's
makeup shut up first argumentout the way.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Are we cute?
Speaker 2 (35:03):
look, we're knocking no, we're knocking this
checklist off quick.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
No, but that that that's not the time, sir, to go
into your fishing trip.
It is no, it's not.
Just plan the sir to go intoyour fishing trip.
It is no, it's not Just planthe fishing trip, and it's also
probably one of those thingsthat's the only week everybody's
schedule Right Probably linedup to go fishing.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
But here's the thing, ok, my only was like.
It comes a time where you haveto make a choice.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Oh yeah, and see, and I prioritized you, I stayed
home, you didn't?
He made me quit.
And then I went back and thenyou're like you should stay home
.
Okay, go ahead.
Sorry, never mind, go ahead.
What were you saying All day?
She didn't cut me off all day.
Goodbye.
All you do is cut me off.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
All go ahead, go ahead.
There comes a time whereactually in marriage, there's
going to come multiple timeswhere you're going to have to
choose your wife over yourfriends or over your happiness.
And he just chose his happinessthis time.
I can understand that.
Interesting.
I wish I was man enough to doit, that's all I'm going to say.
Happiness, this time I canunderstand that.
Interesting.
(36:13):
I wish I was man enough to doit, that's all.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I'm going to say this broken story you tell yourself
in your head.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Yeah, I'm broke because of you.
You're right.
It's just crazy.
You're right, I'm broke becauseof you.
Crazy work, because as soon asyour childhood were here, you
and your daughter would be gone.
Oh, now you sleep, are you done?
Are you done?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
okay, go read the last one um, am I the asshole
for telling my husband I never.
I would have never had his babyif I knew he'd break our deal
damn when we got married, myhusband and I agreed that if we
did have a child, that he'd bethe stay at home parent Once the
maternity leave.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Look at you.
You played yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I earned more and I genuinely love my career.
And he said that he wanted tobe a hands on dad.
Our daughter is now eightmonths old and he just told me
that he has decided to go backto work full time and that his
mom will come and help watch thebaby.
I was stunned.
That was not the deal.
I sacrificed a lot, physicallyand emotionally, to have this
(37:18):
baby, partly because I trustedhim.
I told him during the argumentthat I would have never agreed
to it if I knew he would bail.
Now he's calling me heartlessand saying that I'm using our
daughter as leverage.
I feel betrayed.
Am I the asshole for sayingwhat I did?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
No, but I get his stance.
He broke the deal.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
He broke the deal.
And no, you're not an asshole.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
He broke the deal and yeah, but he didn't understand
the gravity of the deal.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah well, I don't think you did either.
When you asked I didn't, youdidn't.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I looked down, you didn't Look, played myself.
Played yourself.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
It's all.
I feel like you get to a pointsometimes as you get older like
especially after you get marriedand stuff and everything feels
all good.
And then the naturalinclination is like, oh, we
should have a baby, like, let'shave a baby.
I didn't want to have a baby, Iwant to have sex, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
A lot of it You're like let's have a baby.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You're like, oh my gosh, it will be so cute like
our baby.
And then everybody thinks thattheir baby is going to be like
the exception to the rule.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Like their baby is going to come out.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You know that already has the handbook their baby is
gonna.
Their baby is the originator ofthe handbook.
Yeah, perfect sleep.
I mean, some people probablydid get uh, blessed in that way,
you know.
And then the baby gets here andbe like damn, you played
yourself, played yourself,played yourself hard, and now
it's eight months and he said,look, look b look at bitch, I've
been hands-on I can't do it butit's time for papa to go back
to work and honestly.
(38:53):
He said it's time for me tostress about other things.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And look here I tell people all the time One to like
six months is the easiest it'sgoing to get.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Because they don't really do much.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
All you really got to struggle with is your sleep.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
That's huge.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
When you're taking care of another person.
But from six months on now,you're struggling with your
sleep and you chasing them.
What six month old is theycrawling oh, some crawl yeah so
now you gotta start babyproofing shit.
They start and then and then,when they get about a year and a
half and they stop taking napsall of a sudden, and you look at
them like what's wrong with you, you ain't tired, you was just
doing vocal gymnastics not vocalgymnastics.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Vocal gymnastics is wild and then what?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
and then everybody say terrible twos.
But it's really terrible threes.
Yeah, them threes is them.
Threes will make you want tokick a baby out the house.
Okay, look here.
And then, when four comes, theattitude.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Them threes and fours .
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I was starting to consider melatonin I said listen
, I've never been an advocatefor drugging babies and four
comes the attitude, and five andsix comes the why and the
questions oh no, why is alsobefore?
Speaker 1 (40:05):
why is like the three and four too?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
but but now they can ask questions that well, because
they can verbalize more andit's terrible.
Yeah, they can verbalize more.
And it's terrible.
Yeah, they can verbalize more.
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
And then seven and eight.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
It's a whole damn person.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Look here, let me just tell you all this real
quick.
There will come a time where Ilike how you stop and break it
down, go ahead.
There will come a time whereyou will look at your child and
say why did I do this to myself?
Bye, you're going to love them.
You're always going to lovethem.
But the stress that they putunder you and then the talking
(40:43):
back and it take when you'retrying to heal yourself oh, my
God, you were raised and theideology of it all, and you're
trying to do things differently,you start to understand.
I see why they did that.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
I see why they said stay in a child's place and shut
up.
I see why they said childrenare to be seen and not heard,
because this one won't shut up.
I love it.
Except last night she was on it.
I said can you call mesomething else other than mom
Right, because you keep hittingme with the mom?
Oh my God, Mom, hey, mom, mom,I was like, call me Jackie.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
She going to call you mama.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Call me something else.
Oh, I love when she says mama,though Mama.
I love when she cuddles up thenext to me and she goes Mama,
and I'll be like, yes, my baby,that's my baby.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
That's my shit.
Let me just say this I do feellike he's wrong, but I
understand like if he wanted togo back to work, it should have
been a conversation.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, he should have told her.
He shouldn't have just beenlike I got the job back.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
I'm going with a newborn until you're in it.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
That's why she said she wasn't going to be there,
yeah, exactly.
You hear how this was a wholediscussion to have, because he
probably had to low-key convinceher to have a baby, and he was
like I really want a baby.
And she said, okay, here's thedeal I will give you a baby.
Literally, I will give you a ababy, but you're going to be
home with the baby.
Do not, do not, under anycircumstance, expect for me to
(42:16):
be home with this child withthis child at all until I get
off work at all.
That's it.
I love my kid love her.
To death and he was like okay,bet.
And now it's eight months andhe's like yeah, I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
At least you have a mother-in-law that's willing to
help you, because I mean mean,if the situation were like you
guys had, no help.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
And now you can't put daycare, how about I look after
him?
Yeah, but we don't know if shelike his mama.
Right, she probably don't.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
You know the in-law situation is always it's rough
waters, it's a dangerous hikingpath.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
You don't know what you're going to get.
It's like a box of chocolates.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Okay, you never know what you're going to get.
This has been another episodeof the Life After I Do podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Once again, we'd like to thank all you guys for all
the growth, all the engagementall the shares, the likes, the
followers.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
We appreciate all the love.
We are officially 88 episodesin guys.
That's crazy work, crazy work,the likes, the followers.
We appreciate all the love.
We are officially 88 episodesin guys.
That's crazy work, crazy work.
We're approaching the big 100mark we'll be there before we
know it.
That's crazy, like always.
You can follow us on tiktok,instagram, onlypans, youtube,
facebook flip, if you on flip,if you on Flip.
(43:32):
If you on Flip, we're on Flip,flip Game over Flip.
So if you have any you want towrite into us, send us stories,
all that.
You can Shoot the DMs OnInstagram or TikTok or you can
email us At lifeafterdopodcast.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
At gmailcom.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
And like always Every Wednesday, you get a new Fire
ass episode with my beautiful,fine ass wife.
And until next time, peaceboskies, peace boskies.
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