July 30, 2025 • 44 mins
This Our 2 Cents installment is all about what happens when boundaries get crossed by the people closest to us. We talk about entitlement in relationships, partners failing to step up, and the responsibility couples have to protect and prioritize each other.
From a mother-in-law taking over the kitchen to a boyfriend gifting his girlfriend’s dream dress to his mom, we unpack real stories that leave you shaking your head. Moelethal delivers a powerful moment on why men need to hold their wives in the highest regard, while we also share some laughs about Nesha G’s big fitness achievements—and her refusal to haul in those Costco groceries.
It’s real talk, relatable stories, and a reminder of why boundaries matter so much in relationships.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It baffles me when I see men not hold their wife in a
level of regard that is higherthan anyone else, because this
is the woman you chose.
Granted, you didn't choose yourmother.
Whatever mother you have,that's the luck of the draw.
Sometimes you get a good one,sometimes you get bad ones.
The luck of the draw, you knowwhat I'm saying.
(00:22):
But you chose your wife.
You chose the woman that youhave kids with.
So you of the draw.
You know what I'm saying.
But you chose your wife, youchose the woman that you have
kids with.
Yeah, so you me, it's just me.
I hold.
My people say all the time youshouldn't put one on a pedestal,
this one over here on apedestal.
Let me tell you right now it'shigh, it's high, it's.
I need to be out here, go extra.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another weekly episode
(01:04):
of Life After Rating Podcast.
You're going to be hanging outfor the next hour with myself,
kynesha, and my husband, maurice, and, when he's done, sharing
his lung capacity with you all45, 47.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm here for the white, the white, the white
around your lips.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You're so silly.
Hey booskies, hey booskies, heybooskaronies, hey hey little
booskies out there.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Little booskies out Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
That's why I'm sorry.
Everybody's a booskie.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, that, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Everybody can't be a booski.
No, no oh.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Oh, oh, oh no.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hey, hey, how was your week, willow?
My week was good.
How was your week?
Tell us about it.
Well, for one, I've got thisgnarly little Callus, yeah,
callus.
My baby calls them littlebabies.
I've got this gnarly littlebaby on my hand that is going to
need a shaving soon.
(02:11):
That's not a bonko.
My kid likes to bite hercalluses.
Apparently a lot of people dothat Bite them with their mouth.
I think that's so gross, though,but it's my calluses it is, but
I think it's gross.
Like you just got your hand upto your mouth, like that you're
sitting there biting off.
Sometimes you gotta peel backthe layers.
I guess I bite the.
(02:32):
I bite the inside of my cheeks.
so I guess wow kind of the samelike your meat sauce, but oh my
gosh, okay, I can't.
Oh no, um no, it must have beeneasy, but yeah.
So I've been like picking atthis for the past week, but I'm
proud of it because it's a signof hard work, is it?
(02:55):
Have you been working hard?
I've been working hard, okay,so it's a sign of hard work.
So I'm proud of my little baby,callis.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, not the little baby.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
My little baby callus .
Okay, not the little baby, mylittle baby callus, but yeah, I
had a good week, that's good.
Some minor aches and painsMinors.
Yeah, I mean, they add up, theyadd up.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You go through something different every day.
Every day you got a differentailment.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Well, I mean, you know, I put a lot on my joints
these days.
Oh, do you?
Yeah, I put a lot on my muscles.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Are your knees like Megan?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
My knees are good.
Right now it's my hip.
Okay, I'm going to put themknees to the test later.
My knees are fine.
Right now it's just my hip, butI did hit 315 for six total.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I'm giving to her 315 .
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I hit 315 pounds on my squat.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And what did I say for a?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
six total.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
They weren't consecutive but what did I tell
you?
Four consecutive.
But what did I tell you?
Tell me what you are nowbringing in the groceries oh no,
I can't do that, you are now,carrying it now.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I can't do that in the Costco and Samsung when
you're.
When you're not there, I do.
Okay, when you're not there, Ido, and it's only because I have
to, because I can't leave foodin the car.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
And every time you say that, it just tells me that
maybe being a deadbeat ain't sobad.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, stop it, stop it Maybe.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I should, should not, anyway, but yeah, I mean, I'll
still send the money.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment.
I'm pretty proud of myaccomplishment.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm proud of you too.
And then I hit 315 for fivereps on my deadlift.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
So I'm really proud of that too, because I was only
able to hit it for three justlike a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
But how's your bench going?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
My bench is actually going good.
I'm up to four reps at 160,when before I was only able to
do two, and before that it wasmy one rep max and before that
it was my one rep max.
So my one rep max is 170.
And then I can hit 160 for four, which is great.
Five is eluding me right now,but you know.
I feel confident that it'scoming.
(04:55):
Five is in you with it yeah.
As soon as I do that four, Idon't know.
Like, I think you know what itis.
I think it's kind of like whenI did the, when I was doing the
315 on the squat right, I onlyhad intended on doing it for one
, like for my for the day.
I was like, okay, I'm going tohit this one.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm going to be like, yes, I can do it.
But when I hit the one, I waslike it was light.
I was like, oh, okay, Today isone of those days Today is one
where I'm feeling strong and theweight is feeling light, so let
me hit it again.
And then when I hit it twice, Ithink I just was getting
excited.
And plus, I had so muchadrenaline going through my body
and I was like, nah, just rackit, like you're doing too much,
(05:31):
just rack it.
And then even you saw it andyou're like why did you stop?
Like you could keep going.
And I was like I know, when Iwent again, I went in like focus
, like okay, I know I can do atleast two, but I think I can do
more.
And then when I did the fourand you know, once I lose my
brace on anything, it is a donedeal on anything, anything.
(05:56):
If I lose my brace on anything,it's a done deal, and so plus,
you were playing my life youkept you kept doing the.
The one more thing thateveryone does, and it's like by
the third one more.
I know it's a lie now.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
No, it wasn't, you had it.
Now I know you're just lying tome, so now I'm not going to say
one more, I'm going to saythree more.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, okay.
So then I was like the fatiguewas starting to creep in because
I still had like back downs todo, basically because I still
had my sets to do.
So I was like, ok, so I didthat, and when I what's crazy is
the 315 felt good Like it waslike feather light, but it felt
(06:37):
good, it didn't feel heavy.
When I started going back downto do the rest of the sets, I
went down to 300 and I was like,ooh, then I went.
Then I went down to two 95.
And by the third, by the thirdrep at two 95, I was like this
shit feel heavy as hell.
(06:59):
So when I had texted, I hadtexted my coach, and I was like,
um, I'm really not sure whatthe science is behind, why the
heavier weight felt lighter andthen the lighter weight felt
heavy, I was like.
But what I think it was is oncethe adrenaline and started like
wadding off and it was justwaddling off Once my adrenaline
(07:22):
started waddling off.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I want to make sure I heard that correctly Waddling
off, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I think that probably had something to do with it.
Okay, because then it was justlike the excitement was over.
I was like, okay, I did what Iwanted to accomplish today.
And now it's just like okay, nowI got to work, okay, and so
then my'm just like damn, Ithought I could walk away, but I
(07:47):
couldn't.
But other than that it was areally successful week.
It was really good.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've been at more birthdayparties than I probably have
cared to.
You wanted kids, but it's everysummer, so I guess I can't
complain.
She's having a great summer.
You wanted kids, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Anywho, I wanted a good night.
Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
But yeah, so summer's been going pretty good.
We've been pretty busy thissummer, so I'm actually kind of
happy about that, because I feellike it's kind of made summer.
I'm happy, it's almost over.
Yeah, I mean getting back tothe regular routine of things is
nice.
It's almost.
Yeah, oh, it's nice, but um,being able to see her have a
good time and be with herfriends all summer and basically
(08:29):
live in water, because she haslived in water all summer living
her best life her best lifebetween snacks and swimming
pools.
That's, that's all.
That's all she needs inrestaurants, oh, oh gosh in
restaurants.
Because the child act like shetoo, which is crazy, because she
always tell me how much sheloves my cooking, but she likes
a good sit down away from home.
So who?
(08:50):
capped it that baby, that babylove a good sit down away from
home.
But I made her favorite thismorning and she had two and her
little belly was like pushed out, okay.
And she was like mom, thosepotatoes were good.
I said where are they?
Those are my favorite.
I said 30 minutes later can Ihave a snack?
Right, right.
So, but how was your week?
It was cool, cool.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I'm just riding my high of positivity, your high,
of what Positivity?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Oh, when have you been riding a high of positivity
For?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
this last two weeks I've been positive.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
You have.
Yes, I can point out like threetimes this morning in the
kitchen where you weren't.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Okay, first of all, you're not going to play my life
.
First of all, okay, because Ilet you sit here and do your
whole little.
I let you do your whole littlespill what?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Telling you about my week.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So let me tell you about my week, please.
It was a good week.
So let me tell you, let me tellthe people About my week,
please.
It was a good week.
Got things done.
I don't know what Spent on methese last couple days.
The fatigue has been high, yeah, and I have been tired, yeah.
Three R's, seven D's, ah.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Not three R's and seven D's?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Tired yeah I've been tired, so it's been, it's been a
, so it's been, it's been a, butit's been a rough weekend, yeah
, but it was a good week, okay.
So I mean, you know, I hit somePRs this week, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I want to hear about them.
We're not going to get intothem.
No, which ones did you hit?
Tell me, you know I did alittle something.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Tell me, I don't remember.
I hit so many.
I hit so many this week, youknow.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
And you can't even think of two.
I can't, but you hit so many.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Tell me.
I'm up to my three plates on myhack squat, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
That's a really big accomplishment.
Actually I'm up to two plateson the pendulum.
So don't undermine that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That's a big one.
I'm up to two zone legextension.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Nice, you should do the before and after videos,
like when you first started.
Oh no, because on that pendulumsquat.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Rough.
Take me out when you firststarted Take me out.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I said, oh damn how this going to end.
Take the weight off, but see,look at you now.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Take the weight off all of it, the machine too.
Take the weight off everything.
This is different.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But look where you are now.
It's cool, it's good, it's cool, it's becoming light work baby.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'm just looking forward to.
I got to get back on my.
I got to start eating betterbecause I've been eating my
eating men off.
Yeah, I blame this one.
She don't tell me no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Says the person who requests things like red beans
and rice First of all, and beansand rice First of all, and
smothered potatoes with cheese.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I didn't request for smothered potatoes.
That was your daughter.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
But you didn't hesitate to partake.
Look here, I'm not going to letthe food go to waste.
But if you're not supposed tobe eating it, I'm not gonna let
my money go to waste.
Why would it go to waste?
There's literally like two cupsof it left.
Look here she went ham on thosepotatoes.
What we got today today is hourtwo cents hour two.
(11:51):
It's an hour two cents episode.
Guys, everyone likes the r2cent episode.
Y'all be going crazy in thecomments and I, I live for it.
I absolutely.
What was the one from umearlier today?
A company is like uh, fish yeah, it's stink after three days.
My favorite comment, my favoritecomment of the week is um uh,
(12:13):
play with me and I'm leavingthat playground oh my gosh, we
should do favorite comment ofthe week, we should do a
favorite comment of the weeksection and then shout out who
okay, play with me and I'm gonnaleave you at that playground.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Okay, you should put that in the notes favorite
comment, the favorite comment ofthe week, or like common
highlight of the week becausethis is this is that y'all are
creative.
That took me out y'all arecreative.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I love that we're gonna put that down there
because I think that would befun.
Like highlighted comments ofthe week.
I like that, um, but yeah, sotoday's an hour two cents
episode.
So y'all, y'all love tointeract with the hour two cents
uh episode.
So let's see what we got inhere for y'all today.
I think we'll start off, youknow, really mellow and then
maybe we'll wrap it up.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
No, I don't have any like real ratchet stuff for you.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Okay, thank God.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You know what I mean, because I know like he likes
super ratchet stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, I don't like suture ratchet.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
You don't like what, sut like what.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Two ratchet.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh, it's a suture ratchet.
I was like what is that?
Okay, so let's start here.
Okay, let's go.
Let's see.
My mother-in-law rearranged myentire kitchen while I was at
work and I don't know how toreact.
Okay, okay, I'm shaking as Itype this because I am so angry,
but I'm also confused aboutwhether I have the right to be
(13:34):
angry.
Yeah, you do, she says.
For context, my husband, mark,who's 32, and I'm a 29-year-old
female, have been married fortwo years.
His mom, linda, has always beeninvolved.
She has very strong opinionsabout how we should be living
our lives, but usually keepsthem to herself-ish.
(13:56):
Okay, so mama got a lot ofopinions.
Yesterday I had to work late.
I didn't get home until almost8 pm.
I walk into my kitchen andliterally nothing is where I
left it.
The coffee maker is on theopposite side of the counter.
All my spices are reorganizedalphabetically.
My dishes are in completelydifferent cabinets.
Even my refrigerator contentare completely rearranged.
(14:19):
I thought we'd been robbed bythe world's most organized
burglar.
It turns out Linda had comeover to quote unquote help out
while Mark was also at work.
She used her spare key, whichwe gave her for only emergencies
, and decided that my kitchenwas insufficient and inefficient
(14:42):
and needed to be optimized.
Oh OK, she moved everything.
I couldn't find the salt fordinner.
My coffee routine in themorning was a disaster because
nothing was where it should be.
When I called my husband, upset, he said, well, she's just
trying to help and you have toadmit, the spice organization
does make more sense.
(15:03):
When I said that this was aviolation of our space, he
accused me of being dramatic andsaid that I should be grateful
that anyone came and clinkedthat kitchen.
But here's the thing it wasn'tdirty, it was organized the way
I like it, the way that workedfor me in my home and my kitchen
.
Linda thinks that she did us ahuge favor and Mark thinks that
(15:26):
I'm overreacting.
Am I losing my mind here?
Am I an asshole?
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Not at all.
Look here I'm on both sides ofthe fence.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, because it sounds like that spice camera
looks, he said.
You gotta admit it is moreefficient that way, but again I
will say this what's efficientto you is it may not be
efficient to me, say it again,and because the way my brain
might not work the way yourbrain works.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So I need need the stuff where I need it to be, yep
, not where you think it needsit, not where you think it
should be.
So listen, linda.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Ain't that funny.
Ain't that funny.
Her name's Linda.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Listen, listen, yes, listen, linda.
Yes, look, I do think that herintentions were good.
They were.
The execution was flawed, okay.
One you coming over to my housewhen no one's home with a key I
gave you for an emergency.
Now you lost your key.
Yep, now I got to change mylocks, yep, ok.
Two if you wanted to be helpful, the ideal thing to do was to
(16:25):
ask me how could you be ofservice to me?
Yep, so you're not an assholefor feeling the way you feel.
You need to talk to yourhusband, tell him him, put his
mom in her place yep, I agree,because that's the.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
That's the thing.
Everyone's brains workdifferently and you could very
much walk into someone's spaceand be like, oh my gosh, this is
the most inefficient way ofliving ever but, it works for
them like for instance, the wayyou, the way you keep your shoes
, irritates me okay, mike, theway I keep my shoes or I, the
biggest thing is when we look ateach other's phone.
Oh yeah.
Oh, my God he cannot stand howI keep my.
(17:01):
What are they?
Gidgets or whatever?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Your app.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
My apps and stuff.
Like I have certain folderswhere I have things grouped
together.
Like I have a finance folder, Ihave a social media folder, but
then I have other apps where Ijust keep them on separate pages
, like different pages, and forhim he's like you have things
everywhere on this phone, butfor me I know how to get to
exactly what it is I'm lookingfor on my phone and my laptop.
He sits down at my laptop andhe's like this is a mess,
(17:26):
Kynesha, why are all thesefolders?
But everything is separated tohow I like it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I have what I call digital OCD.
Yeah, probably Like.
My file system on my computeris pristine.
Yeah, that's great.
Everything is broken down.
Mine is too.
No, it's not, yes, it is, mineis too.
Your files are like somebodytook a, took a a three packs of
Uno cards and just threw them inthe room.
My files look like I got eachstack orderly, stacked neatly by
(17:59):
color.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh yeah, see nobody knows and they it was released.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It doesn't have to be like that.
Well, it's on there.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's there and I know how to get to it, and that's
like for another one.
A good example laundry right.
Oh God the way I do laundry isdifferent.
Okay, laundry right.
Oh god, the way I do laundry isdifferent.
Okay, I have the whites likeall the white clothes, and then
the the rest of my laundry.
How I separated I separatedbetween clothes going in the
dryer and clothes being hung up.
That's it.
That's it okay that's it, andit's simple but it works for me,
(18:28):
but somebody else would be likewhy are you doing that?
Why are you doing like?
That doesn't work.
You know, I've had thisconversation with my mom because
you know my mom's favorite lineis that don't even make sense.
It doesn't make sense to you,it makes sense to me and it
works for my life.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
We're not going to play what makes sense with your
mama, because I got a long listof stuff that don't make sense.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But the point is is like she probably was trying to
be helpful.
The part that I really don'tagree with is using the key that
was only intended foremergencies to come into our
personal space.
That is hella disrespectful,because you do not live here.
This is the home of me and myhusband.
You only have it for emergencypurposes.
You coming in my house willynilly because you bored on a
(19:10):
Tuesday or a Saturday and think,oh, let me help the kids out by
organizing, Because you knowwhat that made me think about.
That made me think that youcame in there to snoop Right.
And then you did the kitchen tohave the excuse that you were
just in here organizing mykitchen.
You've probably been all up inmy damn bedroom.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Here's what I thought about too, what if I just so
happen to wake up late the nextday, and now I'm rushing to do
my normal morning?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
routine and you can't , and I can't find shit.
That's what she said.
She said my coffee routine wasa disaster.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Man, I didn't want to say it, but fuck Linda.
I didn't want to say it, Ididn't want to get there.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Fuck Linda.
But the more I talk it out,linda was wrong.
Fuck Linda, man.
Okay, let's see, she could havedid the laundry while she was
there.
She could have did a lot ofother things.
We'll get them baseboards,because if you want to start
being helpful now, I'm going tostart creating stuff for you to
(20:03):
do.
Okay, here we go.
Am I the asshole for telling myunemployed boyfriend that I'd
support him, then refusing tobuy him a $2,000 gaming PC?
Not at all.
I'm a 25-year-old female andI've been living with my
boyfriend who's 27, for a littleover a year.
Six months ago he lost his job.
When it first happened, I toldhim that I would support him
until he got back on his feet,and I meant it.
(20:24):
I picked up more hours at work,tightened up our budget and
made sure rent, groceries andbills were covered.
It's been financially draining,but I figured that we were a
team.
The thing is he hasn't reallymade any type of effort to get a
new job.
He sleeps late, games all dayand brushes off any
conversations about applicationsor interviews.
(20:46):
Wow.
Every time I bring any of theconversations up, he says he's
not mentally ready or thatnothing is good enough for him.
Out there.
I'm out here juggling bills andworking overtime while he
hasn't even earned a cent and ahalf all year.
Last week he sent me a link to a$2,000 gaming PC and asked if I
(21:10):
could help him out with it.
I was stunned.
I asked him how he thought thatit made any sense when we were
on a tight budget and he's noteven contributing financially.
He got upset and said that Ihad promised to support him
while he was unemployed and thatthis would help with his mental
escape.
(21:30):
My word.
I told him I've been supportinghim, covering everything,
emotionally and financially, buta high end gaming PC isn't a
necessity.
He accused me of being unfairand said that the roles were
reversed.
He do it for me.
His sister even messaged melater and said that I'm acting
like a hypocrite by decidingwhat parts of support matter the
(21:52):
most.
Now he's being cold, barelytalks to me and acts like I
betrayed him.
I've supported him emotionallyand financially for months,
while he's done little tonothing to improve his situation
.
Covering all of our livingexpenses and sacrificing my own
comforts have already stretchedme thin.
Buying a $2,000 gaming PC isn'tpart of that agreement,
(22:16):
especially when we're strugglingfinancially to get by.
I didn't expect to be.
I didn't expect to support tomean funding luxury items while
he avoids responsibilities.
I stuck to what I said,realistically with the offer,
and now I feel like I'm beingpunished for setting a boundary.
Am I an asshole?
No, fuck him.
Girl, girl.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Send his ass to his sister.
Girl Bye, that's what I say.
Send his ass to his sister.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
First of all, you lost your job and now you on
vacation mode.
Because now you relaxing,because you don't have to.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
You know where she fucked up at what she agreed to
carry his weight?
Because where she fucked up atwhat she agreed to carry his
weight, Because the second sheagreed to carry his weight he
got comfortable.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Well, that's what I'm saying.
He's on vacation mode.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
And now he comfortable, he felt like he got
it.
Good, I'm going to take a break.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, you said, because in his mind he said you
got it.
So you said you got it.
I'm just going to be at home,I'm gonna sleep when I want to,
I'm gonna eat when I want to,and then you gonna foot my beat.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
You don't fit the bill for my lifestyle.
This is also one of themsituations when women don't
understand what made me talkingabout, so they gotta deal with
it, oh my gosh, I don't, I don't, I don't think so it is but he
was working before yeah, and nowhe not right, but her thing you
were working before but herthing, yeah, but that's a
completely different situation.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
That's a completely different situation.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Send me links and stuff that you won't.
That are luxury items.
I'm just playing I'm so happy.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Do you understand me?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
now you're over here at council talking about babe,
we should do this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Oh, look at this girl , did you go to work today?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
yes, I did did my child just found out?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yes, it does, but she's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
She's not an asshole for this, he's a grown ass man.
I'm sorry, I don't care whatyou say.
The rules are different for men.
Get your ass up.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna disagree.
The rules are different.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Because I guarantee you Right now that woman will
find a man that's working andsee how hard she working here
and he'll take her in aheartbeat.
Leave his ass.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, see, my thing is too, I can OK listen, I can
understand, because we don'tknow what he did for work, right
, OK, I don't care what he dideither.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But I'm just saying just for, like the man said that
the job out there above orbeneath him.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Right.
So that's why I said we don'tknow what he did.
But I'm just saying just forconversation's sake he like he's
an adult, right, and now he'sin a position where his
necessities are taken care of.
So in his mind he's probablylike I'm going to relax a little
bit.
She has already agreed that shewill take this on.
You're saying you're speakingfrom experience, demille, do you
(24:53):
want me to hit you?
I'm just saying Do you want meto hit you?
I'm just Because I will.
I'm just giving my two cents.
Okay, well, keep your two centsto yourself.
And so he's like I'm just goingto take a break.
Also, she didn't establish likeany type of timeline.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Because if I was her, I'd be like, yes, we're a team,
I'm going to was her, I'd belike, yes, we're a team, I'm
gonna go ahead and do this, butI'm only gonna do this for six
months.
Babe, you got six months, whichI think is that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Trust me I know that's I know I'm dead.
Six months is a long time.
I'm done, let's move on.
But she should have gave.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I agree with you, she should have given boundaries,
and I don't care what ain't nojob gonna be beneath his ass
when he's sleeping in his carwell, he'll have a sister's
house to go to right, you'reright and then when the sister
has him, because the girlfriendis gonna leave him, and then
maybe his sister should supporthim with that yeah, and then the
sister can support the twothousand dollar pc.
And then when he's, when hestarts getting on her nerves
because he's sleeping in late,eating up all her food, not
(25:49):
contributing, being on her couch, wearing her damn couch out,
you know and running up herwater bill and stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
And the funny thing is, as a pc guy I said two
thousand dollars ain't shit.
You ain't gonna get nothingthat good two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It don't matter if you're not paying for it,
because I paid four for mine ifhe ain't paying for it.
Um, okay, and my name shit, amI an asshole?
My boyfriend gave his motherthe dress that I wanted for my
birthday okay, okay.
I'm a 23 year old female andI've been dating my boyfriend,
who's 26, for the past threeyears.
(26:20):
About two months ago, while wewere out shopping, I saw a
really gorgeous, amazing dressthat was just perfect for me and
it was in my favorite color.
He looked at the dress and saidthat it was beautiful but it
was rather expensive.
It was $200.
So we didn't end up getting it.
Four weeks after that, I wouldconsistently talk about this
dress to him and how I couldn'tstop thinking about how
(26:42):
beautiful it was and that Iwould hope one day to have it to
save up to buy it, since wewere budgeting a little bit
lately.
He would hear about this dressfrom me all the time and I would
talk about how great the dresswould look on me and talked
about how great he thought thedress would look on me.
So yesterday was my birthday andwe had a little get together
(27:03):
with some members of both of ourfamilies to celebrate.
Except when his mother arrivedto our house, she was wearing
the exact dress in the exactcolor.
I was stunned.
I thought that he must havetold her about it and she went
out and got it, but it turns outthat that wasn't the case, in
my surprise.
(27:23):
I said OMG, there's no way.
That's the same dress I've beenlooking at and dying for for
months.
And she replied with saying ohreally, zane gave it to me as a
gift last month Her son, myboyfriend.
I was shocked and confused evenmore so when a boyfriend gave
(27:45):
me the birthday gift he got me,and it was a gift card to
Sephora for $50.
For the rest of the night I satquietly in a corner in silence
and confusion.
I felt hurt and was lost in myhead as to what was going on.
My boyfriend and everyone elsewas blissfully unaware and happy
the entire night and I didn'twant to ruin the mood, so I
started to try to put on a goodface, but I can't shake the
(28:07):
feeling of being hurt.
A part of me feels like I'moverreacting and acting spoiled
and entitled.
Am I?
I just need to know if I needto calm down and to not be as
upset about this.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I think you have a right to be upset.
Personally, that's my personalopinion.
Now, I think it's foul.
He had to know.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
He had to know Okay so you want to hear the edit to
it?
Go ahead, go ahead.
The update, okay.
I finally got the nerve tostraight up ask him about
everything and his response washe thought that I had to be
humbled a bit because I got waytoo overly excited about
(28:46):
something as trivial as a dress.
He thought it would be fun tosee my reaction to all of this.
His mother had no idea aboutany of this and just thought her
son was giving her a gift.
I am so upset and hurt that Ijust called my mom to come and
get me and I'll be staying ather house for a few days while I
(29:07):
figure out the next steps.
But I am not going back to him.
I can't even read the rest.
Read it, okay.
Second update First of all, shewanted to say thank you to
everybody for expressinggratitude or whatever.
Um, uh, she said he keepscalling me but she won't answer.
(29:28):
Uh, and there's nothing that hecan say or do to change that.
She's realized and taking thisas a sign, um, of nature that
had been that, a side of hisnature that had been kept and
hidden so very well up until now.
So he thinks that there'snothing wrong with what he did
well.
It looks like he's been humbled, a side of his nature that had
been kept and hidden so verywell up until now.
So he thinks that there'snothing wrong with what he did.
Well, it looks like he'd beenhumbled himself right the fact
that he said you had to behumble he calling your ass back
(29:52):
Look here.
What's crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hold on Let me say what I'm gonna say again.
People are I doubled down.
I say this all the time Playstupid games, you win stupid
prizes, expect stupid prizes.
What you did was so out ofpocket, extremely, and for the
love of God, it was a $200 dress.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
And you gave me a $50 gift card for my birthday.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
You acting like okay now.
Granted, I understand.
For some people, $200 is a lotof money.
Yeah, to me it's not a lot ofmoney, no more, because my wife
asked for things bare minimum$600.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Okay, that's not true $600.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Stop capping, he's capping, she'll go below $600.
He's capping my daughter, goingto go below $200.
Bye, but it's not like it was alot, especially for her
birthday.
It was a birthday gift, right?
Right, you could have got herto get for her and then to do
this on her birthday, did you?
This is, this is so many redflags.
This was kind of like aself-centered.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You essentially want to turn her birthday into an
event for you, for laughs orshits and giggles, because he
said he thought it would befunny to see her reaction.
What was?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
his name Zane, Zane yeah fuck Zane.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
But here's the thing.
This is what I find funny youdon't buy the dress because it
was too expensive, because we'rebudgeting, but then you buy the
dress For your mama, for yourmom.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
For shits and giggles , and she don't even know she's
in on it.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And she don't even know that she's in on a joke.
And then you give me a $50 giftcard when you could have just
spent the $200.
But now you spent $250.
So confused.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Okay, here you go with the girl math.
So confused that was a veryexpensive $200 point to try to
make.
That is crazy, that you did notmake.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
But then for you to come to me and when I ask you
about it and the verbiage youdecide to use is, I thought I
had to humble you for being it.
But not humble you because,like you, like this prissy
princess and you've beencomplaining about not getting
the dress.
Humble you for being so excitedfor something as dumb as a
dress, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I'll be excited for being single.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Girl, if you didn't dodge the biggest red flag ever.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Because I know about dodging red flags, I missed mine
.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
What I don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm getting on her nerves, y'all.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Getting on my nerves is not even.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I'm really getting on her nerves.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Okay, here we go.
We got time for like two.
Am I the asshole for telling myhusband's childhood best friend
she's too involved with my kid.
Maybe let's go A bit.
Over a year and a half ago, meand my husband gave birth to our
son.
It was our first kid and wewere incredibly nervous and
scared.
(32:34):
We were going to screw thingsup the first week with him back.
We were horrid.
He cried all the time and itwas ridiculously exhausting, but
he'd be lying if I'd be lyingif I said we didn't know what we
were getting ourselves into.
At the start, my husband's bestfriend was amazing.
She would come around all thetime, bring us food, spend time
(32:55):
with our son babysitting so wecould have some time away and
really appreciated the help, andshe seemed to genuinely love my
son.
When my maternity leave wasfinished and I went back to work
, she offered even more of hertime to help with my babysitting
, instead of me hiring someone.
I said that I couldn't make herdo that.
That she surely had otherthings to do, and she said it
(33:16):
was fine, she works from home onher online businesses anyway.
And she even refused to pay and, honestly, I didn't mind any of
the help until now.
I recently noticed on ourdoorbell that she had been
coming at night while I wasoccasionally on night shift.
I thought it was strange, butyou know free help, so I never
(33:37):
confronted it as weird as I hadfelt it was.
But yesterday, when I came homefrom a shift and found my son
playing with her and found thathe kept referring to her as mama
, I think something kind ofbroke inside of me.
I think something kind of brokeinside of me and I told her to
get out.
She protested and asked whatwas wrong and I just asked her
(33:58):
to leave and to not come backever again.
And she accused me of beingjealous and that I was scared I
was being replaced.
She pointed out that if I wasmore involved as a parent, my
husband and son wouldn't feelthe need to have her as a second
wife and I screamed at her.
(34:18):
She also used the term secondwife.
I screamed at her.
If she knew.
I screamed to her that if sheknew what was good for that, she
should get out.
She finally did.
My husband came home a bitafter and I told him about,
about the situation and he justshrugged and didn't say anything
(34:40):
.
The situation and he justshrugged and didn't say anything
.
But my mother-in-law called andhad a go at me, basically
repeating her talking points andsaying that I needed to
apologize to her and honestly,I'm at a loss because at this
point I feel really bad and feltlike I went too far.
But am I an asshole?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, you're not an asshole, hold on.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Edit my mother-in-law just called my husband to quote
unquote set me straight and toallow my husband's best friend
to be allowed back into ourhouse to see her grandson, and
that I need to get used to thefact that my son sees someone
else as a mom.
At this point she practicallyis a second wife, especially
(35:21):
considering that I work andhonestly F her and F all of you
in the comments who think thatI'm a shitty mother for working.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Well OK.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
So basically, everyone's blaming her for going
to work as to why his bestfriend is now his second wife
and a mother to his son.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
OK, you can't blame her for going to work.
Maybe he can't care for all ofthem financially.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
But the fact that he sat there and because when she
said he just looked at me andshrugged, he went like this,
that he did that.
I mean, if she has a point.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Go ahead, get off, get off the chair BFFR.
Okay, so I got numerous thingsabout this.
Bffr.
Okay, so I got numerous thingsabout this.
Okay, I want to hear allnumerous.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
First of all, the first thing I thought about was
when our daughter was at daycareand she called the daycare lady
, mom for the first time, and Ilost my shit, and you lost your
shit and I lost, I absolutelylost my shit and you were like
no, that is not your mama, Iwill quit today.
I literally told him I willfucking quit today if I hear
that her call another woman.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Mama, you're gonna have to figure it the hell out.
That that's it.
So that's my first thought.
I said that was funny.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yes it wasn't funny, though it was to me.
It's not funny, it's to me itwas okay.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
So I understand that that part of her that snap when
she heard it.
Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
That I understand and especially coming home from a
shift, that's that's thematernal, a maternal thing,
right?
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yes, I get that.
Secondly, to say that you are asecond wife and a mother is
diabolical.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
That's crazy work, because now I'm thinking like
what other services she provided, right, mm-hmm?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
And are you that best friend that he just never liked
like that?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
So you figure you're trying to find your way in there
, or did they date previously,somewhere in the early days?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Because it's clear to me that the mama, like her
Uh-huh Mama, loves her Becausemama called her the defender.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Yeah, mama loves her so mama love her.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
So I'm wondering, like there's a lot going on here
.
But look, she not wrong.
Look here First of all, right,yep.
So not only does he need tohave a conversation with his
mother, Yep, but tell her tofall the fuck back and worry
about taking care of my daddy,don't worry about my house.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Not take care of my daddy, worry about taking care
of my daddy.
Bye, maurice, okay.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Then he needs to talk to follow.
Yeah, because this is herresidency.
Yeah, there are so many thingswrong with this situation and
it's not coming from her.
Now, granted, I don't know ifshe had to work, I don't know if
she wanted to work, but Iunderstand that from my
(37:56):
experience I think I kind of gotthis from you that it does come
to a point where, as a woman,you still want your own identity
.
You don't?
want to just be you just don'twant to be identified as a
mother.
So you try to balance bothlives now but you don't.
And I think, kind of like Isaid, going back, for I think
you had that experience with hercalling the daycare lady mother
(38:16):
.
I think that really was kind oftransitioning where you really
you like kind of pick, choose,like oh no, this is way more
important than this type thing.
So I think she probably justhad that moment so, but I do I
disagree with people in thecomments telling her she a bad
mother.
She's not a bad mother.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, she's not a bad mother for going to work.
She's not a bad mother, that'sabsolutely wild.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
It didn't say.
And again, this is her firstchild child.
She don't know much aboutchildren, right, lord knows?
I'm on child number one and I'mstill learning every day the
learning experience.
So it's it, but it's, it's justwild to me.
The husband part is botheringme that's, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's why I was waiting for you to get back to,
because I was like I think thisall boils down to the husband,
because as I've said, anybodywho knows us knows that I am
very just, just, I don't play bymy wife.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
They know Period.
They know Period.
Maurice, don't play about thisone and I don't care whether I
came out your vagina, out yourball sack, whether you bathed me
, changed my.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I don't give a damn.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I will tell you in a heartbeat if she is
uncomfortable.
I'm like Martin, get tostepping, Get to stepping, I
don't give a damn.
So it baffles me when I see mennot hold their wife in a level
of regard that is higher thananyone else, because this is the
woman you chose.
Yeah, Granted you didn't chooseyour mother?
Nope, whatever mother you have,that's the luck of the draw.
(39:50):
Yeah, sometimes you get a goodone, sometimes you get bad ones.
The luck of the draw.
You know what I'm saying.
But you chose your wife, youchose the woman that you have
kids with.
Yeah, so you me, it's just me.
I hold my people say all thetime you shouldn't put one on
the pedestal.
This one over on the pedestal,let me tell you right now, it's
high, it's high, it's high, it'shigh.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
She need three step ladders to get up there you're
so extra so it's wild to me thathe needs to the shoulder shrug.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Right, you cannot be dismissive of the woman that
gave you the child.
Crazy word.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
It's crazy.
You're literally building anentire life with her and she
comes to you and expressing toyou her frustrations, even if
you don't necessarily agree withwhat she's telling you at the
moment.
For you to look her in her faceand shrug and be like I mean it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I wish my mama would call you and tell you anything.
I'd be right.
Mama, shut your ass up.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
No, but he's relaying it to his wife.
So now you don't think thatmakes me feel like y'all ganging
up on me.
Like not only are you gangingup on me, the person who's
supposed to be my partner.
Like we signed, I'll tell youwhat we're supposed to be in a
partnership.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Hold on, see, here we go.
See, now I had a meeting in myhead with the Patty Board
membership, not a meeting.
I'll tell you what Go ahead andget your baby and leave.
Go down there and make sure hehe pays you properly, both
(41:27):
alimony and child support, sothat now you can be with the
child full time and him and hisbest friend, who he probably
fucking.
They can help subsidize yourlifestyle so that you can be the
mother they want you to be andthen they can get the baby on
the weekends.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
No well he be the mother they want you to be, and
then they can get the baby onthe weekends.
No Well, he's still going towant to see his kid yeah,
pictures he has.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
He has to work, he don't got time.
She cares, I can't.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
He has to work.
I can't yeah.
That one was a little.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
And tell grandma she can come around when you feel
like it.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Grant, but not here's the thing for your friend to be
in my house and feel soemboldened to make a statement
like that to me and for you tonot stand up for me and take her
side is all the informationthat I need to know.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
The first thing I thought about she already coming
over at night, right.
Why is she coming over my houseat night, if you there?
Why is she there?
Bitch Y'all, fucking Y'allfucking, y'all fucking that.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Ain't the son, ain't the only they playing house.
They playing house when she'sat work, right, they're playing
house the best friend.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
The best friend is living the life that she wants
While she at work.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
She playing house with her man and her baby While
she at work and they havingconversations Like this could've
.
This could've been us.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
What happened to us?
This could have been us.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
What happened to us.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
This goes for men and women, you got to be careful
about who's smiling on your face.
That smile may have an ulteriormotive behind it.
I'm telling you Crazy work,because I'll break your teeth
around here.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Not break your teeth.
Anywho, this has been anotherepisode of the Life After I Do
podcast.
If you guys are not doing soalready, don't forget to like,
comment, share all of the lifeafter I do podcast.
If you guys are not doing soalready, don't forget to like,
comment, share all of the thingsum all our social media pages
the life after I do podcast.
You can hit us up on youtube,instagram sorry youtube,
(43:17):
instagram um tiktok and facebookonly pants.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Um sure, also on only pants, uh new Instagram, TikTok
and Facebook Only Pans.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Sure, Also on Only Pans.
New episodes drop every singleWednesday.
Guys, we are slowly but surelyapproaching our 100th episode.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Yes, wow, that is crazy.
We might do something special.
That's crazy.
Skip it, take a week off.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
I don't know Like skip it Take a week off.
No, don't know Like, skip itTake a week off.
No, but we have some thingscoming up, some things in the
works that we want to, you know,put out there for you guys to
enjoy and engage, and interactand stuff.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
We do appreciate all the support all the growth
across all platforms.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We do love the love.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Thank you, guys, and more than anything, our child of
ours.
Appreciate y'all because oh mygosh, she loves, you guys she'd
be like oh my god, you guys haveso many followers.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
People love you I'll be like baby.
We don't we get in there, butwe don't we.
They just love you so much.
But we do appreciate all thelove, all the new followers, all
the support, the shares, thecomments, the likes.
We really, really do appreciateit, you guys.
I can't believe we're coming upon 100 episodes already, right,
but we are approaching the100th episode and you know just,
(44:28):
we're grateful that y'all havestuck around, we gonna stand
beside you.
We gonna stand beside y'all.
Okay, I'm a good man, so newepisodes drop every Wednesday,
don't forget.
You can also write into thepodcast at lifeafteridoepodcast
at gmailcom.
But until next week, guys.
Peace mooskeronies, peacemooskies.
It baffles me when I see men not hold their wife in a
level of regard that is higherthan anyone else, because this
is the woman you chose.
Granted, you didn't choose yourmother.
Whatever mother you have,that's the luck of the draw.
Sometimes you get a good one,sometimes you get bad ones.
The luck of the draw, you knowwhat I'm saying.
(00:22):
But you chose your wife.
You chose the woman that youhave kids with.
So you of the draw.
You know what I'm saying.
But you chose your wife, youchose the woman that you have
kids with.
Yeah, so you me, it's just me.
I hold.
My people say all the time youshouldn't put one on a pedestal,
this one over here on apedestal.
Let me tell you right now it'shigh, it's high, it's.
I need to be out here, go extra.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another weekly episode
(01:04):
of Life After Rating Podcast.
You're going to be hanging outfor the next hour with myself,
kynesha, and my husband, maurice, and, when he's done, sharing
his lung capacity with you all45, 47.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I'm here for the white, the white, the white
around your lips.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
You're so silly.
Hey booskies, hey booskies, heybooskaronies, hey hey little
booskies out there.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Little booskies out Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
That's why I'm sorry.
Everybody's a booskie.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
No, that, no, no.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Everybody can't be a booski.
No, no oh.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Oh, oh, oh no.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hey, hey, how was your week, willow?
My week was good.
How was your week?
Tell us about it.
Well, for one, I've got thisgnarly little Callus, yeah,
callus.
My baby calls them littlebabies.
I've got this gnarly littlebaby on my hand that is going to
need a shaving soon.
(02:11):
That's not a bonko.
My kid likes to bite hercalluses.
Apparently a lot of people dothat Bite them with their mouth.
I think that's so gross, though,but it's my calluses it is, but
I think it's gross.
Like you just got your hand upto your mouth, like that you're
sitting there biting off.
Sometimes you gotta peel backthe layers.
I guess I bite the.
(02:32):
I bite the inside of my cheeks.
so I guess wow kind of the samelike your meat sauce, but oh my
gosh, okay, I can't.
Oh no, um no, it must have beeneasy, but yeah.
So I've been like picking atthis for the past week, but I'm
proud of it because it's a signof hard work, is it?
(02:55):
Have you been working hard?
I've been working hard, okay,so it's a sign of hard work.
So I'm proud of my little baby,callis.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, not the little baby.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
My little baby callus .
Okay, not the little baby, mylittle baby callus, but yeah, I
had a good week, that's good.
Some minor aches and painsMinors.
Yeah, I mean, they add up, theyadd up.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You go through something different every day.
Every day you got a differentailment.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Well, I mean, you know, I put a lot on my joints
these days.
Oh, do you?
Yeah, I put a lot on my muscles.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Are your knees like Megan?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
My knees are good.
Right now it's my hip.
Okay, I'm going to put themknees to the test later.
My knees are fine.
Right now it's just my hip, butI did hit 315 for six total.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I'm giving to her 315 .
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I hit 315 pounds on my squat.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
And what did I say for a?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
six total.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
They weren't consecutive but what did I tell
you?
Four consecutive.
But what did I tell you?
Tell me what you are nowbringing in the groceries oh no,
I can't do that, you are now,carrying it now.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I can't do that in the Costco and Samsung when
you're.
When you're not there, I do.
Okay, when you're not there, Ido, and it's only because I have
to, because I can't leave foodin the car.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
And every time you say that, it just tells me that
maybe being a deadbeat ain't sobad.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Okay, stop it, stop it Maybe.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I should, should not, anyway, but yeah, I mean, I'll
still send the money.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'm pretty proud of my accomplishment.
I'm pretty proud of myaccomplishment.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I'm proud of you too.
And then I hit 315 for fivereps on my deadlift.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
So I'm really proud of that too, because I was only
able to hit it for three justlike a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
But how's your bench going?
Speaker 2 (04:34):
My bench is actually going good.
I'm up to four reps at 160,when before I was only able to
do two, and before that it wasmy one rep max and before that
it was my one rep max.
So my one rep max is 170.
And then I can hit 160 for four, which is great.
Five is eluding me right now,but you know.
I feel confident that it'scoming.
(04:55):
Five is in you with it yeah.
As soon as I do that four, Idon't know.
Like, I think you know what itis.
I think it's kind of like whenI did the, when I was doing the
315 on the squat right, I onlyhad intended on doing it for one
, like for my for the day.
I was like, okay, I'm going tohit this one.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
And.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I'm going to be like, yes, I can do it.
But when I hit the one, I waslike it was light.
I was like, oh, okay, Today isone of those days Today is one
where I'm feeling strong and theweight is feeling light, so let
me hit it again.
And then when I hit it twice, Ithink I just was getting
excited.
And plus, I had so muchadrenaline going through my body
and I was like, nah, just rackit, like you're doing too much,
(05:31):
just rack it.
And then even you saw it andyou're like why did you stop?
Like you could keep going.
And I was like I know, when Iwent again, I went in like focus
, like okay, I know I can do atleast two, but I think I can do
more.
And then when I did the fourand you know, once I lose my
brace on anything, it is a donedeal on anything, anything.
(05:56):
If I lose my brace on anything,it's a done deal, and so plus,
you were playing my life youkept you kept doing the.
The one more thing thateveryone does, and it's like by
the third one more.
I know it's a lie now.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
No, it wasn't, you had it.
Now I know you're just lying tome, so now I'm not going to say
one more, I'm going to saythree more.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Okay, okay.
So then I was like the fatiguewas starting to creep in because
I still had like back downs todo, basically because I still
had my sets to do.
So I was like, ok, so I didthat, and when I what's crazy is
the 315 felt good Like it waslike feather light, but it felt
(06:37):
good, it didn't feel heavy.
When I started going back downto do the rest of the sets, I
went down to 300 and I was like,ooh, then I went.
Then I went down to two 95.
And by the third, by the thirdrep at two 95, I was like this
shit feel heavy as hell.
(06:59):
So when I had texted, I hadtexted my coach, and I was like,
um, I'm really not sure whatthe science is behind, why the
heavier weight felt lighter andthen the lighter weight felt
heavy, I was like.
But what I think it was is oncethe adrenaline and started like
wadding off and it was justwaddling off Once my adrenaline
(07:22):
started waddling off.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I want to make sure I heard that correctly Waddling
off, okay.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I think that probably had something to do with it.
Okay, because then it was justlike the excitement was over.
I was like, okay, I did what Iwanted to accomplish today.
And now it's just like okay, nowI got to work, okay, and so
then my'm just like damn, Ithought I could walk away, but I
(07:47):
couldn't.
But other than that it was areally successful week.
It was really good.
Yeah, I liked it.
I've been at more birthdayparties than I probably have
cared to.
You wanted kids, but it's everysummer, so I guess I can't
complain.
She's having a great summer.
You wanted kids, okay.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Anywho, I wanted a good night.
Okay, goodbye.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
But yeah, so summer's been going pretty good.
We've been pretty busy thissummer, so I'm actually kind of
happy about that, because I feellike it's kind of made summer.
I'm happy, it's almost over.
Yeah, I mean getting back tothe regular routine of things is
nice.
It's almost.
Yeah, oh, it's nice, but um,being able to see her have a
good time and be with herfriends all summer and basically
(08:29):
live in water, because she haslived in water all summer living
her best life her best lifebetween snacks and swimming
pools.
That's, that's all.
That's all she needs inrestaurants, oh, oh gosh in
restaurants.
Because the child act like shetoo, which is crazy, because she
always tell me how much sheloves my cooking, but she likes
a good sit down away from home.
So who?
(08:50):
capped it that baby, that babylove a good sit down away from
home.
But I made her favorite thismorning and she had two and her
little belly was like pushed out, okay.
And she was like mom, thosepotatoes were good.
I said where are they?
Those are my favorite.
I said 30 minutes later can Ihave a snack?
Right, right.
So, but how was your week?
It was cool, cool.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I'm just riding my high of positivity, your high,
of what Positivity?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Oh, when have you been riding a high of positivity
For?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
this last two weeks I've been positive.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
You have.
Yes, I can point out like threetimes this morning in the
kitchen where you weren't.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Okay, first of all, you're not going to play my life
.
First of all, okay, because Ilet you sit here and do your
whole little.
I let you do your whole littlespill what?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Telling you about my week.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
So let me tell you about my week, please.
It was a good week.
So let me tell you, let me tellthe people About my week,
please.
It was a good week.
Got things done.
I don't know what Spent on methese last couple days.
The fatigue has been high, yeah, and I have been tired, yeah.
Three R's, seven D's, ah.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Not three R's and seven D's?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Tired yeah I've been tired, so it's been, it's been a
, so it's been, it's been a, butit's been a rough weekend, yeah
, but it was a good week, okay.
So I mean, you know, I hit somePRs this week, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I want to hear about them.
We're not going to get intothem.
No, which ones did you hit?
Tell me, you know I did alittle something.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Tell me, I don't remember.
I hit so many.
I hit so many this week, youknow.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
And you can't even think of two.
I can't, but you hit so many.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Tell me.
I'm up to my three plates on myhack squat, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
That's a really big accomplishment.
Actually I'm up to two plateson the pendulum.
So don't undermine that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That's a big one.
I'm up to two zone legextension.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Nice, you should do the before and after videos,
like when you first started.
Oh no, because on that pendulumsquat.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Rough.
Take me out when you firststarted Take me out.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I said, oh damn how this going to end.
Take the weight off, but see,look at you now.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Take the weight off all of it, the machine too.
Take the weight off everything.
This is different.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But look where you are now.
It's cool, it's good, it's cool, it's becoming light work baby.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'm just looking forward to.
I got to get back on my.
I got to start eating betterbecause I've been eating my
eating men off.
Yeah, I blame this one.
She don't tell me no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Says the person who requests things like red beans
and rice First of all, and beansand rice First of all, and
smothered potatoes with cheese.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I didn't request for smothered potatoes.
That was your daughter.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
But you didn't hesitate to partake.
Look here, I'm not going to letthe food go to waste.
But if you're not supposed tobe eating it, I'm not gonna let
my money go to waste.
Why would it go to waste?
There's literally like two cupsof it left.
Look here she went ham on thosepotatoes.
What we got today today is hourtwo cents hour two.
(11:51):
It's an hour two cents episode.
Guys, everyone likes the r2cent episode.
Y'all be going crazy in thecomments and I, I live for it.
I absolutely.
What was the one from umearlier today?
A company is like uh, fish yeah, it's stink after three days.
My favorite comment, my favoritecomment of the week is um uh,
(12:13):
play with me and I'm leavingthat playground oh my gosh, we
should do favorite comment ofthe week, we should do a
favorite comment of the weeksection and then shout out who
okay, play with me and I'm gonnaleave you at that playground.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Okay, you should put that in the notes favorite
comment, the favorite comment ofthe week, or like common
highlight of the week becausethis is this is that y'all are
creative.
That took me out y'all arecreative.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
I love that we're gonna put that down there
because I think that would befun.
Like highlighted comments ofthe week.
I like that, um, but yeah, sotoday's an hour two cents
episode.
So y'all, y'all love tointeract with the hour two cents
uh episode.
So let's see what we got inhere for y'all today.
I think we'll start off, youknow, really mellow and then
maybe we'll wrap it up.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
No, I don't have any like real ratchet stuff for you.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Okay, thank God.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You know what I mean, because I know like he likes
super ratchet stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, I don't like suture ratchet.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
You don't like what, sut like what.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Two ratchet.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh, it's a suture ratchet.
I was like what is that?
Okay, so let's start here.
Okay, let's go.
Let's see.
My mother-in-law rearranged myentire kitchen while I was at
work and I don't know how toreact.
Okay, okay, I'm shaking as Itype this because I am so angry,
but I'm also confused aboutwhether I have the right to be
(13:34):
angry.
Yeah, you do, she says.
For context, my husband, mark,who's 32, and I'm a 29-year-old
female, have been married fortwo years.
His mom, linda, has always beeninvolved.
She has very strong opinionsabout how we should be living
our lives, but usually keepsthem to herself-ish.
(13:56):
Okay, so mama got a lot ofopinions.
Yesterday I had to work late.
I didn't get home until almost8 pm.
I walk into my kitchen andliterally nothing is where I
left it.
The coffee maker is on theopposite side of the counter.
All my spices are reorganizedalphabetically.
My dishes are in completelydifferent cabinets.
Even my refrigerator contentare completely rearranged.
(14:19):
I thought we'd been robbed bythe world's most organized
burglar.
It turns out Linda had comeover to quote unquote help out
while Mark was also at work.
She used her spare key, whichwe gave her for only emergencies
, and decided that my kitchenwas insufficient and inefficient
(14:42):
and needed to be optimized.
Oh OK, she moved everything.
I couldn't find the salt fordinner.
My coffee routine in themorning was a disaster because
nothing was where it should be.
When I called my husband, upset, he said, well, she's just
trying to help and you have toadmit, the spice organization
does make more sense.
(15:03):
When I said that this was aviolation of our space, he
accused me of being dramatic andsaid that I should be grateful
that anyone came and clinkedthat kitchen.
But here's the thing it wasn'tdirty, it was organized the way
I like it, the way that workedfor me in my home and my kitchen
.
Linda thinks that she did us ahuge favor and Mark thinks that
(15:26):
I'm overreacting.
Am I losing my mind here?
Am I an asshole?
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Not at all.
Look here I'm on both sides ofthe fence.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, because it sounds like that spice camera
looks, he said.
You gotta admit it is moreefficient that way, but again I
will say this what's efficientto you is it may not be
efficient to me, say it again,and because the way my brain
might not work the way yourbrain works.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So I need need the stuff where I need it to be, yep
, not where you think it needsit, not where you think it
should be.
So listen, linda.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Ain't that funny.
Ain't that funny.
Her name's Linda.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Listen, listen, yes, listen, linda.
Yes, look, I do think that herintentions were good.
They were.
The execution was flawed, okay.
One you coming over to my housewhen no one's home with a key I
gave you for an emergency.
Now you lost your key.
Yep, now I got to change mylocks, yep, ok.
Two if you wanted to be helpful, the ideal thing to do was to
(16:25):
ask me how could you be ofservice to me?
Yep, so you're not an assholefor feeling the way you feel.
You need to talk to yourhusband, tell him him, put his
mom in her place yep, I agree,because that's the.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
That's the thing.
Everyone's brains workdifferently and you could very
much walk into someone's spaceand be like, oh my gosh, this is
the most inefficient way ofliving ever but, it works for
them like for instance, the wayyou, the way you keep your shoes
, irritates me okay, mike, theway I keep my shoes or I, the
biggest thing is when we look ateach other's phone.
Oh yeah.
Oh, my God he cannot stand howI keep my.
(17:01):
What are they?
Gidgets or whatever?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Your app.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
My apps and stuff.
Like I have certain folderswhere I have things grouped
together.
Like I have a finance folder, Ihave a social media folder, but
then I have other apps where Ijust keep them on separate pages
, like different pages, and forhim he's like you have things
everywhere on this phone, butfor me I know how to get to
exactly what it is I'm lookingfor on my phone and my laptop.
He sits down at my laptop andhe's like this is a mess,
(17:26):
Kynesha, why are all thesefolders?
But everything is separated tohow I like it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I have what I call digital OCD.
Yeah, probably Like.
My file system on my computeris pristine.
Yeah, that's great.
Everything is broken down.
Mine is too.
No, it's not, yes, it is, mineis too.
Your files are like somebodytook a, took a a three packs of
Uno cards and just threw them inthe room.
My files look like I got eachstack orderly, stacked neatly by
(17:59):
color.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh yeah, see nobody knows and they it was released.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
It doesn't have to be like that.
Well, it's on there.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
It's there and I know how to get to it, and that's
like for another one.
A good example laundry right.
Oh God the way I do laundry isdifferent.
Okay, laundry right.
Oh god, the way I do laundry isdifferent.
Okay, I have the whites likeall the white clothes, and then
the the rest of my laundry.
How I separated I separatedbetween clothes going in the
dryer and clothes being hung up.
That's it.
That's it okay that's it, andit's simple but it works for me,
(18:28):
but somebody else would be likewhy are you doing that?
Why are you doing like?
That doesn't work.
You know, I've had thisconversation with my mom because
you know my mom's favorite lineis that don't even make sense.
It doesn't make sense to you,it makes sense to me and it
works for my life.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
We're not going to play what makes sense with your
mama, because I got a long listof stuff that don't make sense.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
But the point is is like she probably was trying to
be helpful.
The part that I really don'tagree with is using the key that
was only intended foremergencies to come into our
personal space.
That is hella disrespectful,because you do not live here.
This is the home of me and myhusband.
You only have it for emergencypurposes.
You coming in my house willynilly because you bored on a
(19:10):
Tuesday or a Saturday and think,oh, let me help the kids out by
organizing, Because you knowwhat that made me think about.
That made me think that youcame in there to snoop Right.
And then you did the kitchen tohave the excuse that you were
just in here organizing mykitchen.
You've probably been all up inmy damn bedroom.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
Here's what I thought about too, what if I just so
happen to wake up late the nextday, and now I'm rushing to do
my normal morning?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
routine and you can't , and I can't find shit.
That's what she said.
She said my coffee routine wasa disaster.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Man, I didn't want to say it, but fuck Linda.
I didn't want to say it, Ididn't want to get there.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Fuck Linda.
But the more I talk it out,linda was wrong.
Fuck Linda, man.
Okay, let's see, she could havedid the laundry while she was
there.
She could have did a lot ofother things.
We'll get them baseboards,because if you want to start
being helpful now, I'm going tostart creating stuff for you to
(20:03):
do.
Okay, here we go.
Am I the asshole for telling myunemployed boyfriend that I'd
support him, then refusing tobuy him a $2,000 gaming PC?
Not at all.
I'm a 25-year-old female andI've been living with my
boyfriend who's 27, for a littleover a year.
Six months ago he lost his job.
When it first happened, I toldhim that I would support him
until he got back on his feet,and I meant it.
(20:24):
I picked up more hours at work,tightened up our budget and
made sure rent, groceries andbills were covered.
It's been financially draining,but I figured that we were a
team.
The thing is he hasn't reallymade any type of effort to get a
new job.
He sleeps late, games all dayand brushes off any
conversations about applicationsor interviews.
(20:46):
Wow.
Every time I bring any of theconversations up, he says he's
not mentally ready or thatnothing is good enough for him.
Out there.
I'm out here juggling bills andworking overtime while he
hasn't even earned a cent and ahalf all year.
Last week he sent me a link to a$2,000 gaming PC and asked if I
(21:10):
could help him out with it.
I was stunned.
I asked him how he thought thatit made any sense when we were
on a tight budget and he's noteven contributing financially.
He got upset and said that Ihad promised to support him
while he was unemployed and thatthis would help with his mental
escape.
(21:30):
My word.
I told him I've been supportinghim, covering everything,
emotionally and financially, buta high end gaming PC isn't a
necessity.
He accused me of being unfairand said that the roles were
reversed.
He do it for me.
His sister even messaged melater and said that I'm acting
like a hypocrite by decidingwhat parts of support matter the
(21:52):
most.
Now he's being cold, barelytalks to me and acts like I
betrayed him.
I've supported him emotionallyand financially for months,
while he's done little tonothing to improve his situation
.
Covering all of our livingexpenses and sacrificing my own
comforts have already stretchedme thin.
Buying a $2,000 gaming PC isn'tpart of that agreement,
(22:16):
especially when we're strugglingfinancially to get by.
I didn't expect to be.
I didn't expect to support tomean funding luxury items while
he avoids responsibilities.
I stuck to what I said,realistically with the offer,
and now I feel like I'm beingpunished for setting a boundary.
Am I an asshole?
No, fuck him.
Girl, girl.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Send his ass to his sister.
Girl Bye, that's what I say.
Send his ass to his sister.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
First of all, you lost your job and now you on
vacation mode.
Because now you relaxing,because you don't have to.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
You know where she fucked up at what she agreed to
carry his weight?
Because where she fucked up atwhat she agreed to carry his
weight, Because the second sheagreed to carry his weight he
got comfortable.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Well, that's what I'm saying.
He's on vacation mode.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
And now he comfortable, he felt like he got
it.
Good, I'm going to take a break.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, you said, because in his mind he said you
got it.
So you said you got it.
I'm just going to be at home,I'm gonna sleep when I want to,
I'm gonna eat when I want to,and then you gonna foot my beat.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
You don't fit the bill for my lifestyle.
This is also one of themsituations when women don't
understand what made me talkingabout, so they gotta deal with
it, oh my gosh, I don't, I don't, I don't think so it is but he
was working before yeah, and nowhe not right, but her thing you
were working before but herthing, yeah, but that's a
completely different situation.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
That's a completely different situation.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Send me links and stuff that you won't.
That are luxury items.
I'm just playing I'm so happy.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Do you understand me?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
now you're over here at council talking about babe,
we should do this.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Oh, look at this girl , did you go to work today?
Speaker 1 (23:53):
yes, I did did my child just found out?
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yes, it does, but she's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
She's not an asshole for this, he's a grown ass man.
I'm sorry, I don't care whatyou say.
The rules are different for men.
Get your ass up.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna disagree.
The rules are different.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Because I guarantee you Right now that woman will
find a man that's working andsee how hard she working here
and he'll take her in aheartbeat.
Leave his ass.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, see, my thing is too, I can OK listen, I can
understand, because we don'tknow what he did for work, right
, OK, I don't care what he dideither.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
But I'm just saying just for, like the man said that
the job out there above orbeneath him.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Right.
So that's why I said we don'tknow what he did.
But I'm just saying just forconversation's sake he like he's
an adult, right, and now he'sin a position where his
necessities are taken care of.
So in his mind he's probablylike I'm going to relax a little
bit.
She has already agreed that shewill take this on.
You're saying you're speakingfrom experience, demille, do you
(24:53):
want me to hit you?
I'm just saying Do you want meto hit you?
I'm just Because I will.
I'm just giving my two cents.
Okay, well, keep your two centsto yourself.
And so he's like I'm just goingto take a break.
Also, she didn't establish likeany type of timeline.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Because if I was her, I'd be like, yes, we're a team,
I'm going to was her, I'd belike, yes, we're a team, I'm
gonna go ahead and do this, butI'm only gonna do this for six
months.
Babe, you got six months, whichI think is that's a long time.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Trust me I know that's I know I'm dead.
Six months is a long time.
I'm done, let's move on.
But she should have gave.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I agree with you, she should have given boundaries,
and I don't care what ain't nojob gonna be beneath his ass
when he's sleeping in his carwell, he'll have a sister's
house to go to right, you'reright and then when the sister
has him, because the girlfriendis gonna leave him, and then
maybe his sister should supporthim with that yeah, and then the
sister can support the twothousand dollar pc.
And then when he's, when hestarts getting on her nerves
because he's sleeping in late,eating up all her food, not
(25:49):
contributing, being on her couch, wearing her damn couch out,
you know and running up herwater bill and stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
And the funny thing is, as a pc guy I said two
thousand dollars ain't shit.
You ain't gonna get nothingthat good two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It don't matter if you're not paying for it,
because I paid four for mine ifhe ain't paying for it.
Um, okay, and my name shit, amI an asshole?
My boyfriend gave his motherthe dress that I wanted for my
birthday okay, okay.
I'm a 23 year old female andI've been dating my boyfriend,
who's 26, for the past threeyears.
(26:20):
About two months ago, while wewere out shopping, I saw a
really gorgeous, amazing dressthat was just perfect for me and
it was in my favorite color.
He looked at the dress and saidthat it was beautiful but it
was rather expensive.
It was $200.
So we didn't end up getting it.
Four weeks after that, I wouldconsistently talk about this
dress to him and how I couldn'tstop thinking about how
(26:42):
beautiful it was and that Iwould hope one day to have it to
save up to buy it, since wewere budgeting a little bit
lately.
He would hear about this dressfrom me all the time and I would
talk about how great the dresswould look on me and talked
about how great he thought thedress would look on me.
So yesterday was my birthday andwe had a little get together
(27:03):
with some members of both of ourfamilies to celebrate.
Except when his mother arrivedto our house, she was wearing
the exact dress in the exactcolor.
I was stunned.
I thought that he must havetold her about it and she went
out and got it, but it turns outthat that wasn't the case, in
my surprise.
(27:23):
I said OMG, there's no way.
That's the same dress I've beenlooking at and dying for for
months.
And she replied with saying ohreally, zane gave it to me as a
gift last month Her son, myboyfriend.
I was shocked and confused evenmore so when a boyfriend gave
(27:45):
me the birthday gift he got me,and it was a gift card to
Sephora for $50.
For the rest of the night I satquietly in a corner in silence
and confusion.
I felt hurt and was lost in myhead as to what was going on.
My boyfriend and everyone elsewas blissfully unaware and happy
the entire night and I didn'twant to ruin the mood, so I
started to try to put on a goodface, but I can't shake the
(28:07):
feeling of being hurt.
A part of me feels like I'moverreacting and acting spoiled
and entitled.
Am I?
I just need to know if I needto calm down and to not be as
upset about this.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I think you have a right to be upset.
Personally, that's my personalopinion.
Now, I think it's foul.
He had to know.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
He had to know Okay so you want to hear the edit to
it?
Go ahead, go ahead.
The update, okay.
I finally got the nerve tostraight up ask him about
everything and his response washe thought that I had to be
humbled a bit because I got waytoo overly excited about
(28:46):
something as trivial as a dress.
He thought it would be fun tosee my reaction to all of this.
His mother had no idea aboutany of this and just thought her
son was giving her a gift.
I am so upset and hurt that Ijust called my mom to come and
get me and I'll be staying ather house for a few days while I
(29:07):
figure out the next steps.
But I am not going back to him.
I can't even read the rest.
Read it, okay.
Second update First of all, shewanted to say thank you to
everybody for expressinggratitude or whatever.
Um, uh, she said he keepscalling me but she won't answer.
(29:28):
Uh, and there's nothing that hecan say or do to change that.
She's realized and taking thisas a sign, um, of nature that
had been that, a side of hisnature that had been kept and
hidden so very well up until now.
So he thinks that there'snothing wrong with what he did
well.
It looks like he's been humbled, a side of his nature that had
been kept and hidden so verywell up until now.
So he thinks that there'snothing wrong with what he did.
Well, it looks like he'd beenhumbled himself right the fact
that he said you had to behumble he calling your ass back
(29:52):
Look here.
What's crazy.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Hold on Let me say what I'm gonna say again.
People are I doubled down.
I say this all the time Playstupid games, you win stupid
prizes, expect stupid prizes.
What you did was so out ofpocket, extremely, and for the
love of God, it was a $200 dress.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
And you gave me a $50 gift card for my birthday.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
You acting like okay now.
Granted, I understand.
For some people, $200 is a lotof money.
Yeah, to me it's not a lot ofmoney, no more, because my wife
asked for things bare minimum$600.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Okay, that's not true $600.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Stop capping, he's capping, she'll go below $600.
He's capping my daughter, goingto go below $200.
Bye, but it's not like it was alot, especially for her
birthday.
It was a birthday gift, right?
Right, you could have got herto get for her and then to do
this on her birthday, did you?
This is, this is so many redflags.
This was kind of like aself-centered.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You essentially want to turn her birthday into an
event for you, for laughs orshits and giggles, because he
said he thought it would befunny to see her reaction.
What was?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
his name Zane, Zane yeah fuck Zane.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
But here's the thing.
This is what I find funny youdon't buy the dress because it
was too expensive, because we'rebudgeting, but then you buy the
dress For your mama, for yourmom.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
For shits and giggles , and she don't even know she's
in on it.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And she don't even know that she's in on a joke.
And then you give me a $50 giftcard when you could have just
spent the $200.
But now you spent $250.
So confused.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
Okay, here you go with the girl math.
So confused that was a veryexpensive $200 point to try to
make.
That is crazy, that you did notmake.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
But then for you to come to me and when I ask you
about it and the verbiage youdecide to use is, I thought I
had to humble you for being it.
But not humble you because,like you, like this prissy
princess and you've beencomplaining about not getting
the dress.
Humble you for being so excitedfor something as dumb as a
dress, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I'll be excited for being single.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Girl, if you didn't dodge the biggest red flag ever.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Because I know about dodging red flags, I missed mine
.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
What I don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
I'm getting on her nerves, y'all.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Getting on my nerves is not even.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
I'm really getting on her nerves.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Okay, here we go.
We got time for like two.
Am I the asshole for telling myhusband's childhood best friend
she's too involved with my kid.
Maybe let's go A bit.
Over a year and a half ago, meand my husband gave birth to our
son.
It was our first kid and wewere incredibly nervous and
scared.
(32:34):
We were going to screw thingsup the first week with him back.
We were horrid.
He cried all the time and itwas ridiculously exhausting, but
he'd be lying if I'd be lyingif I said we didn't know what we
were getting ourselves into.
At the start, my husband's bestfriend was amazing.
She would come around all thetime, bring us food, spend time
(32:55):
with our son babysitting so wecould have some time away and
really appreciated the help, andshe seemed to genuinely love my
son.
When my maternity leave wasfinished and I went back to work
, she offered even more of hertime to help with my babysitting
, instead of me hiring someone.
I said that I couldn't make herdo that.
That she surely had otherthings to do, and she said it
(33:16):
was fine, she works from home onher online businesses anyway.
And she even refused to pay and, honestly, I didn't mind any of
the help until now.
I recently noticed on ourdoorbell that she had been
coming at night while I wasoccasionally on night shift.
I thought it was strange, butyou know free help, so I never
(33:37):
confronted it as weird as I hadfelt it was.
But yesterday, when I came homefrom a shift and found my son
playing with her and found thathe kept referring to her as mama
, I think something kind ofbroke inside of me.
I think something kind of brokeinside of me and I told her to
get out.
She protested and asked whatwas wrong and I just asked her
(33:58):
to leave and to not come backever again.
And she accused me of beingjealous and that I was scared I
was being replaced.
She pointed out that if I wasmore involved as a parent, my
husband and son wouldn't feelthe need to have her as a second
wife and I screamed at her.
(34:18):
She also used the term secondwife.
I screamed at her.
If she knew.
I screamed to her that if sheknew what was good for that, she
should get out.
She finally did.
My husband came home a bitafter and I told him about,
about the situation and he justshrugged and didn't say anything
(34:40):
.
The situation and he justshrugged and didn't say anything
.
But my mother-in-law called andhad a go at me, basically
repeating her talking points andsaying that I needed to
apologize to her and honestly,I'm at a loss because at this
point I feel really bad and feltlike I went too far.
But am I an asshole?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, you're not an asshole, hold on.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Edit my mother-in-law just called my husband to quote
unquote set me straight and toallow my husband's best friend
to be allowed back into ourhouse to see her grandson, and
that I need to get used to thefact that my son sees someone
else as a mom.
At this point she practicallyis a second wife, especially
(35:21):
considering that I work andhonestly F her and F all of you
in the comments who think thatI'm a shitty mother for working.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Well OK.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
So basically, everyone's blaming her for going
to work as to why his bestfriend is now his second wife
and a mother to his son.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
OK, you can't blame her for going to work.
Maybe he can't care for all ofthem financially.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
But the fact that he sat there and because when she
said he just looked at me andshrugged, he went like this,
that he did that.
I mean, if she has a point.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Go ahead, get off, get off the chair BFFR.
Okay, so I got numerous thingsabout this.
Bffr.
Okay, so I got numerous thingsabout this.
Okay, I want to hear allnumerous.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
First of all, the first thing I thought about was
when our daughter was at daycareand she called the daycare lady
, mom for the first time, and Ilost my shit, and you lost your
shit and I lost, I absolutelylost my shit and you were like
no, that is not your mama, Iwill quit today.
I literally told him I willfucking quit today if I hear
that her call another woman.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Mama, you're gonna have to figure it the hell out.
That that's it.
So that's my first thought.
I said that was funny.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yes it wasn't funny, though it was to me.
It's not funny, it's to me itwas okay.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
So I understand that that part of her that snap when
she heard it.
Yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
That I understand and especially coming home from a
shift, that's that's thematernal, a maternal thing,
right?
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Yes, I get that.
Secondly, to say that you are asecond wife and a mother is
diabolical.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
That's crazy work, because now I'm thinking like
what other services she provided, right, mm-hmm?
Speaker 1 (36:54):
And are you that best friend that he just never liked
like that?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
So you figure you're trying to find your way in there
, or did they date previously,somewhere in the early days?
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Because it's clear to me that the mama, like her
Uh-huh Mama, loves her Becausemama called her the defender.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Yeah, mama loves her so mama love her.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
So I'm wondering, like there's a lot going on here
.
But look, she not wrong.
Look here First of all, right,yep.
So not only does he need tohave a conversation with his
mother, Yep, but tell her tofall the fuck back and worry
about taking care of my daddy,don't worry about my house.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Not take care of my daddy, worry about taking care
of my daddy.
Bye, maurice, okay.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Then he needs to talk to follow.
Yeah, because this is herresidency.
Yeah, there are so many thingswrong with this situation and
it's not coming from her.
Now, granted, I don't know ifshe had to work, I don't know if
she wanted to work, but Iunderstand that from my
(37:56):
experience I think I kind of gotthis from you that it does come
to a point where, as a woman,you still want your own identity
.
You don't?
want to just be you just don'twant to be identified as a
mother.
So you try to balance bothlives now but you don't.
And I think, kind of like Isaid, going back, for I think
you had that experience with hercalling the daycare lady mother
(38:16):
.
I think that really was kind oftransitioning where you really
you like kind of pick, choose,like oh no, this is way more
important than this type thing.
So I think she probably justhad that moment so, but I do I
disagree with people in thecomments telling her she a bad
mother.
She's not a bad mother.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Yeah, she's not a bad mother for going to work.
She's not a bad mother, that'sabsolutely wild.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
It didn't say.
And again, this is her firstchild child.
She don't know much aboutchildren, right, lord knows?
I'm on child number one and I'mstill learning every day the
learning experience.
So it's it, but it's, it's justwild to me.
The husband part is botheringme that's, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's why I was waiting for you to get back to,
because I was like I think thisall boils down to the husband,
because as I've said, anybodywho knows us knows that I am
very just, just, I don't play bymy wife.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
They know Period.
They know Period.
Maurice, don't play about thisone and I don't care whether I
came out your vagina, out yourball sack, whether you bathed me
, changed my.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I don't give a damn.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
I will tell you in a heartbeat if she is
uncomfortable.
I'm like Martin, get tostepping, Get to stepping, I
don't give a damn.
So it baffles me when I see mennot hold their wife in a level
of regard that is higher thananyone else, because this is the
woman you chose.
Yeah, Granted you didn't chooseyour mother?
Nope, whatever mother you have,that's the luck of the draw.
(39:50):
Yeah, sometimes you get a goodone, sometimes you get bad ones.
The luck of the draw.
You know what I'm saying.
But you chose your wife, youchose the woman that you have
kids with.
Yeah, so you me, it's just me.
I hold my people say all thetime you shouldn't put one on
the pedestal.
This one over on the pedestal,let me tell you right now, it's
high, it's high, it's high, it'shigh.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
She need three step ladders to get up there you're
so extra so it's wild to me thathe needs to the shoulder shrug.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Right, you cannot be dismissive of the woman that
gave you the child.
Crazy word.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
It's crazy.
You're literally building anentire life with her and she
comes to you and expressing toyou her frustrations, even if
you don't necessarily agree withwhat she's telling you at the
moment.
For you to look her in her faceand shrug and be like I mean it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
I wish my mama would call you and tell you anything.
I'd be right.
Mama, shut your ass up.
Speaker 2 (40:52):
No, but he's relaying it to his wife.
So now you don't think thatmakes me feel like y'all ganging
up on me.
Like not only are you gangingup on me, the person who's
supposed to be my partner.
Like we signed, I'll tell youwhat we're supposed to be in a
partnership.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Hold on, see, here we go.
See, now I had a meeting in myhead with the Patty Board
membership, not a meeting.
I'll tell you what Go ahead andget your baby and leave.
Go down there and make sure hehe pays you properly, both
(41:27):
alimony and child support, sothat now you can be with the
child full time and him and hisbest friend, who he probably
fucking.
They can help subsidize yourlifestyle so that you can be the
mother they want you to be andthen they can get the baby on
the weekends.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
No well he be the mother they want you to be, and
then they can get the baby onthe weekends.
No Well, he's still going towant to see his kid yeah,
pictures he has.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
He has to work, he don't got time.
She cares, I can't.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
He has to work.
I can't yeah.
That one was a little.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
And tell grandma she can come around when you feel
like it.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
Grant, but not here's the thing for your friend to be
in my house and feel soemboldened to make a statement
like that to me and for you tonot stand up for me and take her
side is all the informationthat I need to know.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
The first thing I thought about she already coming
over at night, right.
Why is she coming over my houseat night, if you there?
Why is she there?
Bitch Y'all, fucking Y'allfucking, y'all fucking that.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Ain't the son, ain't the only they playing house.
They playing house when she'sat work, right, they're playing
house the best friend.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
The best friend is living the life that she wants
While she at work.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
She playing house with her man and her baby While
she at work and they havingconversations Like this could've
.
This could've been us.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
What happened to us?
This could have been us.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
What happened to us.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
This goes for men and women, you got to be careful
about who's smiling on your face.
That smile may have an ulteriormotive behind it.
I'm telling you Crazy work,because I'll break your teeth
around here.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Not break your teeth.
Anywho, this has been anotherepisode of the Life After I Do
podcast.
If you guys are not doing soalready, don't forget to like,
comment, share all of the lifeafter I do podcast.
If you guys are not doing soalready, don't forget to like,
comment, share all of the thingsum all our social media pages
the life after I do podcast.
You can hit us up on youtube,instagram sorry youtube,
(43:17):
instagram um tiktok and facebookonly pants.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Um sure, also on only pants, uh new Instagram, TikTok
and Facebook Only Pans.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Sure, Also on Only Pans.
New episodes drop every singleWednesday.
Guys, we are slowly but surelyapproaching our 100th episode.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Yes, wow, that is crazy.
We might do something special.
That's crazy.
Skip it, take a week off.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
I don't know Like skip it Take a week off.
No, don't know Like, skip itTake a week off.
No, but we have some thingscoming up, some things in the
works that we want to, you know,put out there for you guys to
enjoy and engage, and interactand stuff.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
We do appreciate all the support all the growth
across all platforms.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
We do love the love.
Speaker 1 (43:56):
Thank you, guys, and more than anything, our child of
ours.
Appreciate y'all because oh mygosh, she loves, you guys she'd
be like oh my god, you guys haveso many followers.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
People love you I'll be like baby.
We don't we get in there, butwe don't we.
They just love you so much.
But we do appreciate all thelove, all the new followers, all
the support, the shares, thecomments, the likes.
We really, really do appreciateit, you guys.
I can't believe we're coming upon 100 episodes already, right,
but we are approaching the100th episode and you know just,
(44:28):
we're grateful that y'all havestuck around, we gonna stand
beside you.
We gonna stand beside y'all.
Okay, I'm a good man, so newepisodes drop every Wednesday,
don't forget.
You can also write into thepodcast at lifeafteridoepodcast
at gmailcom.
But until next week, guys.
Peace mooskeronies, peacemooskies.
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