August 27, 2025 • 53 mins
We’re diving into boundaries in a big way this week—across marriage, money, and personal decisions.
In this installment of Our 2 Cents, we break down a honeymoon surprise gone wrong, financial tension in a single-income household, and whether lending inheritance money to family is ever a good idea. Plus, we open up an honest conversation about birth control and the role your partner should (or shouldn’t) play in decisions about your body.
This episode also marks a major moment for us—10,000 downloads! We’re so grateful for the love and support, and we talk a bit about what’s been going on with us personally, too.
From disagreements to eye-openers, this one’s packed with perspectives you don’t want to miss.
Thanks for rocking with us! Don’t forget to follow Life After I Do so you never miss an episode. Got a relationship situation you want us to weigh in on? Hit us at https://linktr.ee/lifeafteridopodcast — we just might talk about it in a future episode.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's been a lot of great second place winners.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, if second is where you feel comfortable in
life, by all means do youboo-boo, do you?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
But there is no competition, there's no
competition.
I like how you get perked upwhen I say that I'm just saying,
I love triggering you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I wasn't triggered.
Yes, you were I just alwaysremind you she going to cuss me
(00:48):
out y'allall after we're donewith this hello, good morning,
good evening whenever you'relistening to this.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode of the Life
After Rage podcast.
Ok, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Can you, like you know, they come here for the doo
doo, doo, doo doo, they don't,you know.
Just say your part so we canget to the meat and the potatoes
of the intro.
Okay, do-do-do-do-do, you're amess, I'm a mess, you're a mess.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Anyway, thank you for joining us.
I'm a mess right now.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I can't eat, can't sleep, feels like piling high.
Ain't worked in three weeksShut up.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I can turn anything into a song.
Hey everybody, Welcome back toanother episode of Life After I
Do podcast.
I hope everyone's doing greatout there.
He's always quick with theserenade.
I am.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm riding high today .
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'm in a good mood, that's good.
Endorphins are up, they on athousand, oh, that's good.
Endorphins are up Day on athousand, oh, that's good.
I know because you're shining.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Shining like a nickel .
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Shining like a nickel .
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Did you take three workouts today?
Shining, shining, shining.
I did Shining.
Yeah, that explains it.
That explains it I thought thiswas organic.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It's not.
It's not organic.
Hey, hi, booskies, how are youdoing?
I'm good.
How are you feeling?
Feeling I'm okay.
On a scale of one to ten, I'mabout a six and a half seven.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Six and a half seven, yeah, well, that ass is fat,
but grateful, nonethelessgrateful.
That ass is fat.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes, but the fact that I'm struggling to.
How was your week?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
My week was very long , very, very long.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
How.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Because the week started off bad, okay, with my
gallbladder attack.
I was in an emergency roomhospital for a night and then
stayed home for a couple of days, so I didn't get my work week
started till late in the weekRight.
Then I ended up working on aday I don't normally work to
make up for the days I miss.
That was terrible.
So now I only end up having oneday off.
(02:50):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
All because of that gallbladder.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
All because of this damn gallbladder.
Don't get old.
It's rough out here in thesestreets for old niggas.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's rough out here.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Or you can just like.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Watch what you're eating.
I do watch it as I put it onthe floor.
Okay, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I watch it.
That's because you had a lot ofbeef too Last weekend.
What?
Who got beef with me?
Okay, I'm not in the mood tomelt.
Hold up, hold up girl, hold upgirl.
I'm not in the mood for your,for your, shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
You let a get shenanigans one time He'll
shenan again.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
He'll shenan again.
Don't let him shenan, not once.
But.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I mean, overall, it was a pretty good week.
I feel like I'm gettingstronger, but I'm also getting
fatter.
You're getting fatter, but okay, my stomach's still big.
Yeah, oh, wow, yeah.
Y'all see how she do me.
Y'all see how she do me.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Y'all see how she do me.
My son is yeah Mine is too.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, it's not, babe.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Okay, okay, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
No, it's not babe, but I can see your fabs.
Only in the morning, only forthe first 30 minutes of the day.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
But nonetheless, I can see your fabs the second I
eat something.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
it's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
They gone, they gone.
Your fabs, the second I eatsomething.
That's right, they go, they go.
But but you know the potentialis there and I think that's
enough.
How was your week to get youwhere?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
you gotta go um my week was good.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Um, you know, just getting through.
Are you done all?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
right, are you done?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm just playing great good how was your week I
could really go just take a nap.
I'm always down for a good nap.
I'm like I really could.
No, my week was good, justgetting through all.
Still all her birthday giftsbecause you know now we have to
open everything, and she wantsto play with everything Now.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
you just triggered me because not, not because not
not, not her, so she got an easybake over it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
They're called a yum yum, whatever it's called it's
easy, bake over and not.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Her making her first little cake yesterday and she
proceeded to eat a piece, gaveher mama piece and then she
gonna tell me oh no, dad,because you don't have the
calories for this.
Ma'am, she's looking out foryou, but did you?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
see how she the smallest piece that she gave you
, and did you hear what she said?
The smallest piece that shegave you, yes, and did you hear
what she said when she gave it?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
to me.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
She was like I only gave you a little piece, Mom,
because I know I don't want youto get fat again, so I only gave
you a little piece.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I said at least you got a piece Shit.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I said girl.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And it's about this thin the whole pan, probably 100
calories.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I was like girl, she was so proud she did really good
.
She used the measurement spoonsand stuff and she read out the
measurements.
I tried to do my best to notinterfere.
When I see she's doingsomething I try to let her
figure it out.
Sometimes it's hard because ifyou can see someone's error, you
try to stop them or try tocorrect it before they can make
(05:48):
the mistake.
And so I told her.
I was like I'm just going tohear, I'm just going to be here
to supervise, but you need tomake sure you read the
directions, understand thedirections and then follow the
directions, you know.
And she was like I got it andeverything and she needed the
tablespoons.
And so I gave her the measuringspoons, like the pack of
measuring spoons, and I was likeso whichever measuring it tells
(06:11):
you you need, you need to lookfor the spoons.
I was like because all of thespoons are right here, but you
need to look for them.
And she was like okay, so she'slike reading them and she's
like, oh, tablespoon.
And she was like this one'stablespoon, two, but it says one
, okay, one tablespoon, and Itablespoon.
And I was just like.
I was like look at my baby.
And she was like see, mom kidscan bake.
I was like look at my littlebaby.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, there's a whole show.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I was like my baby.
I was proud of her, though, and, more importantly, she was
proud of herself.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, I wish she'd be proud of herself with the other
aspects of her life life.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
She is like cleaning.
Oh I mean, who's gonna beenthusiastic about that?
That's crazy work it's.
It's crazy where?
That's because she probablysees me unenthusiastically doing
it that's crazy.
That's crazy work.
I won't go say goodbye.
You've been slagging anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
I have not cut it out well, well, you know, guys, you
have made the episode 101 youget on my last nerve sometimes
this is episode 101 of a lifeafter I do podcast he was about
to say the other one no, Iwasn't.
Yes, you were and I have sat atthis table or we started on the
couch, yeah, with my wife, for101 times at least and every
(07:21):
time she comes for me and whocame?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
No one, literally no one came for you.
You just came for me talkingabout I was slacking in my
housekeeping.
And I think from this point on,I think but you know, I can
show you what slacking lookslike.
If you would prefer to comehome to a dirty home.
I can make that happen for you,and then I can show you what
it's really like to slack.
Would you like that?
Because?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
you know what?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
happens when you make comments like that.
I guess I could show you betterthan I can tell you.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's like, because no one wants to wash dishes nine
times a day.
It's like the real.
Your brother lost him yesterday, my brother, he said.
He said, when your wife tellsyou that she's thinking about a
home approval project, you know,like the floors or new carpet.
Jess explained to her that thefloors wouldn't look as bad if
she actually got down there andcleaned them.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
You know what?
And I said send this toyourself.
Absolutely not, Absolutely not.
No, these Cracking me up.
I've been complaining because Iwant new floors.
Mainly.
I want new floors because Ialso want new floors and I also
want new floor beds, baseboards,baseboards.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, floor beds is wild.
You know what I mean.
Not if you're wanting somethingand you don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
But you know what I mean.
That's why you were able tocorrect me.
Guys, we want new beds on thefloor.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You know I want new floor beds.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Floor beds are a thing, ok, but anyway, yes, I
want new floors and I want newbaseboards.
And it's because we havepainted, we repainted the house
like a few years ago and I justfeel like the floors don't
really vibe with the house and Ialso feel like, because these
are still the same floors fromthe last.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
The last owners this house is going to start, we're
going to get floors, so I want.
Then.
And then the last owners thishouse is going to start, we're
going to get floors, so I want.
And then you'll be like youknow what?
I think the floors actuallylook better with this paint
color.
Then we got the paint again.
No, I know the paint for sureI'm not changing.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I absolutely love the paint that I chose For sure.
For sure I'm not going tochange the paint because the
paint feel and look lighter.
I mean, the walls were custardbefore.
So, anything outside of thatwould have been better.
I could have painted the wholehouse red and it still would
have been better than the 1990scustard that was in here.
(09:36):
Well, like everyone you know, infor a treat, because we did a
special.
What was it?
R2 Cents for the 100th episode,but we also do R2Cents at the
beginning of each new month.
Well, at the end.
So you guys are in for a twofer.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
It's an all-in you got too.
If you only get one inSeptember, don't come for us,
right?
This is true.
That part this is true.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But everyone's favorite, r2cents, which are the
reaction videos, is true, thatpart, this is true, that part,
this is true.
But um everyone's favorite, ourtwo cents, which are the
reaction videos are true,they're really fun for me too,
like I enjoy doing our two centsfor one, whether the stories
are true or not.
I think it's diabolical thatpeople even think about them
think about them or like.
These are some people's reallife situations which I think is
.
(10:23):
I mean, it's interesting, itkeeps life interesting, so you
can't complain about that.
So we got a few hour two centsfor you guys today.
So let me see, I'll start youoff, you know calm.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Okay, not too crazy, not too much, not too much.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Okay.
Am I overreacting for being madat my fiance for inviting his
mother on our honeymoon?
Okay, okay, all right.
My fiance, who is 30, and I'm,a 29 year old female, are
getting married in November.
We have been planning ourhoneymoon in Greece for over a
year now.
(10:59):
Yesterday he told me that heinvited his mom to join us for
the first few days of thehoneymoon because she's always
dreamed of going to Greece.
He thought it would be a quote,unquote, sweet surprise.
I told him that I was not OKwith that and that our honeymoon
is something for us, not forhis mom.
(11:21):
He says that I'm beingcontrolling and ungrateful
seeing that he is paying for theentire trip.
Am I overreacting or making abig deal of this or what I'm
going?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
to say slightly.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Slightly overreacting .
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Slightly.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Why?
Because he paying.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Not because he's paying, oh why.
Because I mean, I mean thathelps, but I think what he's
trying to, I think he's probablyfinally got in the position to
give his mom something he alwayswanted to give her.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And he's trying to take advantage.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
He's trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
That's it.
And so as a man, I see that andit's like it's just a couple
days Now.
She got just because she goingwith us don't mean she got to
tag along with everything, butthat's what she's gonna do.
She's going to be with us, youdon't know because, okay, yes, I
do I do, because now she's ingreece with her son.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So now she also wants to make memories being in
greece with her son.
And guess who's there?
His new wife.
So guess whose honeymoon isgoing to be ruined?
Mine, it's not gonna be ruinedas long as she don't know, but
the point is is I don't want tosee your mom on my honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't care if it's just doing breakfast, but she
come by goodbye, good damn bye.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I don't want to see your mom on my honeymoon.
This is supposed to be a timethis is supposed to be a time
and space for just the two of us, and especially because we're
starting our life together.
If you want to, if you want totreat your mom to a trip to
Greece, if you got the money totreat her now, you're going to
have the money to get her herown separate trip?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
No, because he probably got a discount.
Let me ask you this Would youfeel better about it if she was
there the last couple of daysinstead of the first couple of
days?
I would feel better, I'm justtrying to say In case I do
something like this In thefuture.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I would feel better this is research now If she
wasn't there.
Oh For our honeymoon, okay.
Now, if you wanted to plan Afamily vacation For us to go
back, okay, I'm down with that.
That's different, I'm down.
But our honeymoon, right.
Our first night together as manand wife.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Oh, that's gonna be a hard.
It's the same with JJ.
Ain't nothing new about it.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I really just don't even know how I tolerate you at
times.
Why, babe?
I really don't even understandhow my life got here sometimes
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
What I'm saying is I understand why she's upset, I
understand all that.
I understand him too, but Iunderstand what he's trying to
do and you know I get it likebut your priority shouldn't be
surprised like giving a greatsurprise to your mom.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's me okay, and if that makes me sound selfish,
then so be it, because I'm yourwife.
I don't give two shits aboutsurprising your mama right now.
It's my honeymoon.
I thought it'd be a greatsurprise for my mom and I'm able
to do this for my mom.
Do it for her another time.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
But what if he don't think he'll be able to do it
again?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Listen, that's not my testimony.
That's not my testimony.
I don't know what to tell you.
Husband, work harder, make moremoney.
If it's that important for youto send your mama to Greece, I
I'm gonna tell you that you needto work harder you need to make
more money so you can buyanother ticket to send her to
greece.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I don't know what to tell you.
That's not my testimony, not mytestimony.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
it's my honeymoon, so I think you're slightly
overreacting.
No, I don't think you are, butanyway.
Um, okay, am I the asshole fortelling my wife either she gets
a job or I'm putting her on anallowance?
Okay, my wife who's 34.
I'm sorry, my wife who's 34 andI'm 34.
She's a stay at home mom andshe likes to spin frivolously.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Lord, come on now, let's get into it.
Forget you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
After the kids go to school on the bus, she usually
goes back to bed, then wakes up,goes starbucks to have a coffee
and bagel and browse her phone.
Then she goes to the gym aftergoing shopping.
She doesn't always buy things,sometimes it's just window
shopping, but she spent fifteenhundred dollars by herself, um
some months on clothes, hair,nails, makeup, eyebrows, buying
eyelashes and packages calledthings like baddie or fuck boy,
(15:35):
etc.
I told her that we need to gether on a budget and to stick to
it, and if she can't, then I'llhave no choice but to put her on
an allowance or she can go andget a job.
She was furious.
She said if I wanted a workingwife then I should have married
a hard working girl instead ofher.
I reminded her that when wefirst married, she did have
(15:56):
plans to work and had all thosebig plans on becoming a quote
unquote businesswoman.
Yet she never acted on anything.
She called me an ungratefulasshole and then said divorce me
.
Then I don't know what to do.
Am I an asshole for telling herto either get a handle on her
spending, get a job or I'll puther on an allowance.
(16:17):
Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
no, you're not an asshole.
And first of all I thought Iwrote this until he said 1500
and I said, oh no, that's not mystory, that's not, that's not
your is not your testimony,ma'am, I can relate to this.
You absolutely cannot relate toit Because I'm not saying not
(16:39):
right now, but like in yourfirst couple post-COVID
stay-at-home mom, years you wereballing out of control.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I wouldn't say balling, but I was spending
without thinking you was outthere.
I wasn't say balling, but I wasspending without thinking you
was out there.
I wasn't balling out of control, but I did spend a lot without
thinking.
You still do.
Well, and my way of thinkingtoo was that.
And then also, I was like I'mpretty sure some of the money I
made is still there anyway.
That's not how it is.
(17:09):
You haven't been working forthree years.
At that point.
You haven't been working forthree years.
At that point I was like someof that money, like the money
that's in the saving, is itstill money that I'm sure I've
contributed to, because I'm surethat has not been spent.
So therefore, like it's my moneytoo, Like you know, it's the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I feel like it's the same.
Sir, you're not an asshole.
I don't think you're an asshole.
This is actually something thatreally needs to be reined in,
because when you are, when youare a single income household,
everything needs to be accountedfor.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And I'll just spend it Now.
Granted there's.
So now I will say my wife doesnot just spend money to spend
money.
I will get rid of that.
She only buys things that sheshe deems necessary.
Now she deems a lot of thingsnecessary, but she's not out
(17:58):
here wild, nope, right, and I'vegotten really good at like,
even like saving.
Yeah, she does, thank you nowlook here.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Look, but old navy hate to see her coming well, you
know, me and old navy, we go,we go back way too far.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
So I was like babe, you still.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
This is why we are not in college anymore I know,
but I just I've always loved oldnavy, since I was like 19, I
don't know why it's great forfast pieces, you know I don't
think you're asshole.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
This is something that has to be because if if it
gets out of control, it can'thinder the whole house yeah and
I think that, uh, she needs tounderstand that and I would say,
um, I would just give her a lotmore, I would, honestly, would
just actually no, that probablywouldn't work.
She'd just overdraft theaccount.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Listen here, because she sound like the type to just
swipe.
This is what I'll say.
Just swipe, this is what I'llsay.
Go ahead, what you gonna say.
As a woman who is in a, youknow, like a non-traditional
working, I like to say it thatway, a non-traditional working
woman.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How are you non-traditional?
Never mind Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
In a non-working tradition setting, you know, but
anyway, as someone who is astay-at-home mom for now, For
now I will say Breaking newspeople.
Shut up.
I will say this For you to cometo her like it, probably
because this feels very all of asudden to me, right, and this
probably came up he was probablydoing bills, looking at the
(19:19):
numbers and he was like I know,I know in God's greener if she
did not like spend this much,and then he just came to her and
dropped this bomb, like eitheryou get on allowance or you have
to go back to work, because I'msure this habit has been going
on for quite some time.
And so, like I have told you inthe past, you cannot make me
feel like everything is okay andthen all of a sudden want to
(19:42):
come and lay down the hammerBecause I was blind to what was
really happening.
No, you weren't blind.
You're not blind.
Every 29 days when you sit downand look at the bills and pay
credit cards and do all you'renot blind.
But you sit there and you'recussing and fussing to yourself,
but you haven't said anythingto her.
And then now it's getting to apoint where she, like that,
she's blind to what, however,you're paying bills.
(20:02):
She's blind to, however, themoney she just knows that eggs
listen, and that's what I say.
That's what.
That's what I say.
Because if you haven't beenhaving the conversation with her
about, hey, babe, let me justlet you know, like I know I take
care of the bills.
I know that I work, but this iswhat our you know our monthly
income is.
This is what our bills are.
I really need you to payattention to when you're
(20:23):
spending, you know, just so thatI can ensure that we stay on
track.
If you haven't had previousconversations with her about
that.
And then, all of a sudden,because she spent $1,500 in one
month, and now you're like, nope, I'm going to lay down the
hammer, that's not going to goover.
Well, because, like, we've hadconversations like that too,
right, where it's like if youput me in a state of being
comfortable and I'm just like,okay, like if it's there, if
(20:48):
it's there, and I don't feellike I'm putting our household
at risk, I'm, I'm going to, I'mgoing to get it, like what's the
problem?
And you never coming to mesaying hey, babe, I don't really
think that was a smart decisionto spend $170 on a pair of
tennis shoes.
If you don't say things likethat in my mind, I'm like.
I'm like, you're like, so youknow he was cool with.
(21:09):
That Doesn't mean I'm going tokeep doing it, but but she will,
because he ain't said nothingRight.
But, then you want to wait tothe last minute to come and be
like, okay, now I'm going to putyou on an allowance.
And her reaction is just whather reaction was, because I
would have been like, oh, nowyou want to put me on allowance,
I haven't worked in a decade,and now you want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You want to come talk to me about money.
I don't know if it's been adecade.
I know, but I'm just sayingAlso, I kind of feel like it
could also have been the way hesaid it.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Absolutely.
That's why.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I said it.
It could have been the way hesaid it.
That's why I said it feels allof a sudden Like if you were to
come to me and just be householdmoney.
You just part b, you're justpart of the house.
Good damn, it's my money too.
(21:57):
It's household.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
But um, yeah, but if you come to me that way, instead
of saying hey, can we talksitting down and being like hey.
So I just want you to know,like, I don't mind you getting
the things that you need.
I know that there's likeshopping that you like to do,
but if you can be a little bitmore mindful because this month,
you know we were here and Ineed us to stay here to be
(22:19):
comfortable, for me to pay thebills, for you to continue, you
know, doing the little shoppingthat you can do, or for you to
continue driving the car thatyou want to drive, like, like,
if he came at it with adifferent angle, then she could
sit there and be like, ok, maybespending fifteen hundred
dollars last night was, I mean,last month was a bit much.
Right, right, maybe that was,maybe that was a bit much.
And if he's Starbucks and ifhe's telling me like it's, he's
(22:42):
not saying that he has a problemwith me spending money.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's just the mouth.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
He's just telling me you can't be spending fifteen
hundred dollars like this everymonth because you're going to
drive us right into thepoorhouse If spending $1,500
like this every month becauseyou're going to drive us right
into the poorhouse.
If he came from that angle, Iwould be like, okay, you know
what, I get it.
I understand Like, maybe Idon't spend $500 at Sephora,
maybe I only spend $250.
You know, compromise, I get it.
Don't trigger me.
(23:06):
What's the matter?
I have not spent that much atSephora in a very long time.
So please, fucking Sephora, mac.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Please, please, estee Lauder.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
What Now?
You're just like throwing outall the brands that you remember
Bloomingdale's, demeo.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Cut it out, all these places that are just built to
break up marriages.
But you don't say nothing whenI surprise you with stuff that's
different oh yeah, that'sdifferent you surprise me with
stuff that came from the houseaccount in which my check went.
So it's like you surprise mewith spending my money on me.
It is our money.
Hey, babe, here's your gift foryou but it's because.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's because you wouldn't have thought to get it
for yourself.
So it's the what that counts.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
You're thinking about me, and it's the thought that
counts.
I wish your daughter wouldthink about me.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
A gift is a gift, okay.
Okay.
Am I the asshole for refusingto let my sister borrow $15,000
from my inheritance to pay forher dream wedding?
Oh no.
To pay for her dream wedding,oh no.
So, for context, my dad passedaway three years ago and left me
a 28-year-old female, my sister, who's 26, each a portion of
his estate.
(24:19):
He was very intentional abouthow he divided things.
My sister got the house, whichwas already mortgage-free,
because she lived with him andcared for him.
Toward the end, I, on the otherhand, got a lump sum of money
about $50,000, because I hadmoved out years earlier and was
already renting my own place.
My sister has always been alittle reckless with money.
(24:41):
She works, but she's constantlytaking trips, buying luxury
items and upgrading her carevery couple of years.
Meanwhile, I've been using myinheritance responsibly I paid
off a huge chunk of my studentloans, built an emergency fund
and I'm saving for a downpayment on a house.
Here's where the problem starts.
My sister got engaged last yearand is planning a massive,
(25:04):
over-the-top wedding.
We're talking a $60,000 budgetwith a fancy venue, custom dress
dress and an open bar for 300guests.
She recently came to me andasked if she could borrow 15K
for my inheritance money becauseshe and her fiance are coming
up short.
She swore up and down that shewould pay me back within the
(25:26):
year once their finances got inorder.
I told her no, that money isn'tjust sitting there for me to
throw around.
It's for my future.
Plus, given her history withmoney, I don't even believe that
she'd pay me back.
She flipped out crying about howdad would want her to have the
wedding of her dreams and howI'm being selfish because I
(25:47):
already used the money to bettermy life while she hasn't even
got anything out of hers yet.
My mom sided with her and toldme that I should help family and
that weddings are a once in alifetime thing.
But my fiance, who's 29, andfriends think that I'd be insane
to hand over 15,000 for a party.
My sister and I haven't spokenproperly in weeks.
(26:07):
She told extended family thatI'm ruining her big day because
I'm hoarding money For therecord.
If she had asked for a smalleramount for something important
like medical bills or emergencyexpenses, I might have
considered helping, but a luxurywedding Absolutely not.
Now I've been painted a villainand I can't help but wonder if
(26:29):
I'm being too rigid.
Am I the asshole for refusingto lend her the 15K for her
wedding, even though I did getinheritance money?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Not at all, Girl.
No, You're either the daughterhero or let alone I'll see
yourself become the villain.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, like that's going to be a hard no.
And then now you say you'regoing to pay me back, but your
finances ain't even in order now.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Hold on hold on hold on.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That makes no sense.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I haven't said this in a long time what man fuck her
and her fiance.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Goodbye.
Look here.
Your sister's right about onething Her dad would want her to
have a lovely wedding.
Now dad might also tell herthis ain't in your budget.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Or he would pay for it if he was here.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
He would make a way to pay for it, but he's not here
and if you're so sure aboutthis wedding and your fiance,
ma'am, you have a asset and ahouse that is paid for that you
can leverage mortgage free gotake that $15,000 out against
the house yep, but she ain'tgonna do that, oh, cause that's
where they're gonna livemortgage free oh yeah.
You ain't been paying a mortgagefor how many years?
Come on now.
(27:28):
I mean, if I didn't have amortgage, shit, balling shit,
you are not there, so I wouldn'tgive her, yeah, I wouldn't get
my biggest.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
My biggest thing, I'm on the side of her.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I'm you know.
You know how I feel aboutparties.
Yeah, I know, you know how youhold up you know how.
You know how he loves parties.
I do not love parties.
You know how anti-wedding I wasfor us and I at the when we
first got engaged.
That was a big tussle for usbecause she wanted a wedding and
I was like I'm not trying topay for people to say
congratulations, goodbye.
(28:01):
I am not.
I am not.
I'm okay with a kickbackEverybody brings something.
But I'm not for that but.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I think my biggest issue is when the sister asked
to borrow the 15K, promising topay it back.
She added we promised to pay it, or I promised to pay it back
once me and my fiance'sfinancials are in order.
Baby, your financials ain't inorder.
She said they were 20, 29, 28or 26 and 29.
(28:32):
Nope, boo, 29, 28, or 26 and 29?
Nope, boo, if you think it'sresponsible to spend $60,000 on
a wedding and you already sayingyour financials are not in
order and then trying to takeout a $15,000 loan from your
sister which only further letsme know you're not going to pay
her back.
You're not she is not going tobe the high priority, because
(28:52):
then it's going to be oh well,we want to take this trip, or we
want to start a family, or wewant to Girl.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Please, here's the solution Instead of taking a
year to pay your sister back,postpone your wedding a year.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Right, right, exactly .
If you can pay me back in ayear, then that means you can
save the $15,000 for the yearand wait yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You're not the asshole though.
No, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
You're not the asshole.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And she can make me the villain all she wants.
I'm going to sell her Girl.
Stack your money by your house.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, no, that's going to be a hard no for me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Fuck her in here.
What's her fiance name?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know Any dating in ournames.
No, no, okay, blame myself.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Okay.
Am I the asshole for telling myson's African-American
girlfriend that she can wear awig, even if my son doesn't want
her to?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Oh Lord, okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'm a white woman out of the depths on this topic and
too scared to ask anyone who'sAfrican-American face to face.
But my son's first girlfriendis African-American and we'll
call her Nina.
Usually when I see her she's abubbly social butterfly.
She smiles a lot and is verytalkative.
Recently I noticed Nina seemingless confident and times I see
(30:06):
her.
Her change in demeanor was themost noticeable change.
But I also noticed the recentlack of wigs, makeup and jewelry
, and I didn't even realize thetwo were connected.
One day I was to drive them to aparty.
My son was upstairs and Ninawas downstairs.
She looked like she wasdreading going to the party and
I asked what was wrong.
(30:26):
She said that she doesn't feelpretty.
I asked her why and she saidthat she's getting used to
showing her natural hair.
I asked her if she feels souncomfortable with showing her
hair, why is she doing it?
She said my son thinks that shelooks cooler that way.
I told her that I used to dothings to impress boys too.
When I was her age.
(30:46):
I told her that she can wear awig even if my son doesn't want
her to.
Days later I have never seen myson more angry with me than
that day he said that I'm awhite woman and that I should
not be advising a black girl onhow to look he had.
He called me an overhearing oroverbearing mom and a Karen.
I was shook, so shook that Ihave not spoken to him because I
(31:10):
was angry.
But am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
if she caring he can, because how you hypocrisy, how
you calling the kettle black sir, you're doing the same thing
your mom's doing.
Your mom basically told her tobe who you want to be, to do
what makes you feel pretty don'tchange who you are right now
and you're trying to change herto fit.
Look here if you don't like her, the way she looks, the way or
(31:36):
the way she wants to look, right?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
because apparently you met her when she was wearing
wigs, jewelry and makeup, andnow you don't like her with wigs
, jewelry and makeup and yourmama said girl, I used to do the
same thing, but don't do thatif that's what make you happy,
do it you in my business, don'tdo that.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
The one thing I will agree withas a man who loves a black
woman and natural hair andnatural black hairstyles ain't
nothing better than a blackwoman with natural hairstyle.
It's pretty great.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
So maybe that's what it was.
He saw her for the first timewithout her makeup time.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
You have to be like, hey, if my baby is
self-conscious of this or shefeels like she has more
self-esteem doing things thisway, you got to be okay with
that, Because you should loveher for who she is on the inside
, if you love her that much, ifyou want to be with her that
much.
So I don't, ma'am, I don'tthink you're an asshole, I think
(32:35):
your son is an asshole.
And let that woman be andhopefully she'll come around to
the fact that you know, go where.
You're celebrated, nottolerated.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Exactly.
Can't agree more.
All right, here we go.
Are you going to say I agreedwith what you said.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
My wife.
So rock that pineapple then.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Bye.
My wife had her wild phasebefore me, and now that I'm
finally thriving, I feel like Imissed out.
Am.
I wrong for feeling this way.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Okay, so I've been married to my wife for five
years, we've been together foreight and we have two beautiful
children.
She's been my first everything,my first girlfriend, my first
real relationship, my first inevery sense.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
We get it, you're a virgin.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I didn't really date in high school or college
because, honestly, I didn't takecare of myself, I lacked
confidence and I didn't feelattractive, so I stayed focused
on other things.
My wife, on the other hand, hada more quote-unquote, typical
college experience.
She had a few relationships andhad her phase, as she was
extremely attractive.
She even did stuff with twoguys at one time.
(33:40):
She was upfront about it whenwe first started dating and it
never bothered me, although Itry not to think about it too
much.
Now here's the thing Over theyears she's become quite
reserved when it comes tointimacy.
She says that she's had herquote unquote wild side during
college and now that she's donewith that phase she prefers a
more traditional approach tointimacy.
(34:02):
She says that she's triedeverything.
And she?
She says that she's triedeverything she wanted to and
knows what she enjoys and whatshe doesn't enjoy in the bedroom
, and she wants to buildintimacy on love, not wild lust,
and I completely respect that.
I'm not trying to do somethingwhich doesn't excite her in the
bedroom.
(34:22):
But lately I've changed.
I'm in the best shape of mylife physically, mentally,
emotionally and my family andfriends are kind of shocked with
how I look now.
My wife loves the new me andsays she finds me more
attractive than ever.
But, to be blunt, I don't carethat my wife finds me more
(34:42):
attractive, because I know Ilook good now and it's not like
her finding me more attractivewill change anything in the
bedroom department.
My hormones right now are allover the place and I can't help
but feel like I missed my chanceto experience that same quote
unquote fun side of my life.
I have never had theexploration, the experimentation
(35:03):
or the freedom Now that Ifinally feel great about myself.
That door seems closed.
I brought it up with my sisterbecause we're close, and she was
surprisingly blunt.
She said that it's unfair thatmy wife got to have those
experiences and now expects meto settle for less when for the
things that she once enjoyed.
That hit me harder than Iexpected.
(35:24):
But my sister also loves me todeath and would say some crazy
stuff like I deserve to have anexperience with at least one
other woman in my life or elseI'll keep resenting my wife.
I love my wife and I don't wantto hurt her.
I'm not thinking of cheating oranything like that, but I do
feel stuck between respectingher boundaries and acknowledging
my own desires that I never hada chance to bring to fruition
(35:48):
or that could exist.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Has anyone else been in thesituation?
How do I cope?
You're not wrong for fulfillingyou're not wrong, for first of
all, you're not wrong forfeeling that way.
Your wife was a 304 bye marise,but she was up front about it,
yeah she told him about it.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
She doesn't have, she didn't have her back knocked
out every every which way but aloose and that's why.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And that's why, in this stage of life, she's on the
opposite end.
She's like I've done that, I'vedone it, yeah, I've, I've done
that, I've done it.
Yeah, I've been there, donethat.
It was fulfilling for the fun.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Hold on Now.
You done been in the gym, youworking out, you look good, you
feel good, you horny.
That testosterone level doneskyrocketed.
Your libido is on 3 millionbecause, people, that is real
the more you work out, thehigher your libido get and you
(36:39):
be, as a man who works outregularly.
Now I'm like a rabbit dog.
Let this woman bend over.
It's crazy.
Let this woman bend over.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's crazy.
I was like you're not 13,.
Sir, I'm in there, you're not13 and just discovered yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I understand all that Now, unfortunately, I would say
if, if you want to be a good,honest man, this is a cross
you're going to have to bearbecause you cannot force your
wife to do anything she do notwant to do.
Now I also feel like your wifeshould acquiesce to some things.
If she loves you, she would,she should understand, because
she's experienced.
Yeah, yeah, she should be ableto knock out the bar.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
She should be able to show you some moves that before
so it's, it's, it's.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Pause, I don't know to tell you, sir.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Um, this is a conversation I've got to have
listen.
I completely understand wherehe's coming from, like I can.
I can understand when he sayshe feel like he let.
He missed out.
He's only ever had one vagina.
He don't know what a goodvagina is, right, well, so
that's the best he's ever had,right?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I think that would always tell you nothing, nothing
to compare you to.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
So it's the best I ever had, the best you ever
gonna get um, but I canunderstand what he's saying
about now that he feel he hasthe feelings that he wished he
had prior to marriage and thenthat would have allowed him to
have those experiences and, likehe said, I'm thinking about
cheating, but if I can at leastget those experiences with my
(38:01):
wife.
And knowing that my wife handedout those experiences so so
frivolously in her younger years, I should be able to get
something man, you should beable to get as freaky as
possible with the woman you'rewith.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I'm sorry, the woman you had married.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, but I do think that's a conversation like, I
believe, if he comes to her withthat mind frame and she says
she wants no, he didn't.
He went to his sister, he spoketo his sister, but his wife
says she, she wants intimacy offof love not yeah, but he didn't
say.
He didn't say that was aconversation he had first of all
people.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
let me say on Do you not think you're supposed to
lust after your partner?
You don't think I lust afterthis woman?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
You should not have lust in your heart.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Okay, I was lusting after you this morning.
Every time you go out to theshower and walk by me naked, I'm
lustful.
Oh my gosh, right there.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
I want to plant my lust.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
right there, I want to plant my lust right there.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I want to plant my lust right there.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Right there.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
So silly, I want to plant my lust, right there.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
That is exactly where I want to plant my lust.
You should be lustful to yourpartner.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
But I think it's one of the things.
Like you said, they do need tohave a conversation.
He does need to try to stressthe importance of, like I'm not
asking you to I'm not asking forit to introduce another person
into the relationship, but I amsaying that I didn't get a
chance to experience thosethings and I would love nothing
more than to experience themwith you, and we are married, so
there is love there.
(39:28):
Bust this shit open.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Like well, there is love there.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I love you, throw it back, make it clap.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I love you enough that I've ignored this part
anyway for so long, and now thatI'm actually feeling good about
myself, like I want to see, youknow what that could be like,
and I'm doing it with you.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
I guarantee you, I guarantee you if he, if another,
if he starts catching the eyeof other women and she notices
that she may change her tune,maybe because women don't move
until they feel they gotcompetition.
Oh, that's not true, becauseevery time she thinks she got
competition all of a sudden.
I ain't that funny.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
First of all, first of all, there's no competition.
Let's start there.
Let's start.
There's no competition.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I mean, I know.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I'm not going nowhere .
They don't know, that's theproblem.
You think I ain't going nowhere.
The thing is is that if theyever think that they could be
competition to me, baby, I'vealready won.
Oh, there could never be acompetition, are you?
Yeah, have you sure you won?
I'm positive.
Indeed man, I'm positive.
How have you won?
Because I was first.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You're first where.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
You're my first board , Baby.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I've already won.
Anything after me is listen.
There's been a lot of greatsecond place winners.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Hey, if second is where you feel comfortable in
life, by all means do youboo-boo, do you?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
But there is no competition.
There's no competition.
I like how you get perfect.
When I say that, I'm justsaying I love triggering you.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
There's no competition.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I like how you get perked up when I say that, I'm
just saying I love triggeringyou.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
No, I wasn't triggered.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yes, you were I just always remind you.
She gonna cuss me out y'allafter we done with this.
No.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
I just always remind you that, like, come on girl,
this is the same person who getsupset when he says he doesn't
feel like I get.
Have said that before.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Oh my god, I have never said you have quite
literally said see you see hegets on camera and then he wants
to switch.
You are making shit up.
What are you?
Does love?
No one?
Ain't nobody checking for me.
My dms is dry, my phone is dry,I don't know, I don't know how
to work out technology.
I don't know that to be trueyou have my phone, you over here
like capping for the people no,I wasn't capping.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
You have said that before cut it out.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Never said that.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Yes, you have never okay, I think we have time for
one more, one more do we do whatyou want to do?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I'm just scrolling trying to get a nut.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
My gosh I can't with you.
Um, am I the asshole fortelling my husband he doesn't
get to decide what I do with mybody?
Okay, I've been married to myhusband for about five years.
Overall we have a pretty goodrelationship, but lately we've
been clashing over somethingthat to me, feels like common
sense my body equals my decision.
(42:07):
The most recent fight startedwhen I mentioned possibly
getting on birth control again.
He immediately jumped in sayingthat he didn't like
quote-unquote, like how itchanges my hormones, and that he
would prefer that I just stayoff of it.
I told him that I respect hisopinion, but at the end of the
day, I'm the one dealing withthe side effects of not being on
anything.
He doesn't get the cramps, hedoesn't get the stress, he
(42:33):
doesn't get the oh no, is this apregnancy scare anxiety.
When I said, look, it's my bodyand I'm the one who has to
manage it, not you, he gotreally defensive and accused me
of not caring about his feelings.
To be clear, I do care.
He's my husband, I listen to him, but I also feel like it's
unfair for him to think he getsa final vote on decisions that
literally affect my health.
(42:53):
For context, this isn't justabout the birth control.
He also made comments before.
When I cut my hair short orwhen I considered getting a
small tattoo Nothing extreme,but even though, but enough that
I'm not down now noticing apattern I told him flat out you
don't have the right to tell mewhat to do with my body.
He said that I was beingdisrespectful.
(43:14):
Now I'm wondering if I was tooblunt or if I just set a
boundary that needed to be set.
So am I an asshole for standingmy ground?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I'm on both sides of this.
I'm on both sides.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Okay, Now let me start off with the birth control
thing.
Okay, Okay, one.
He's saying that he doesn'tlike who you become while you're
on the birth control.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
No, he said he just doesn't like how it changes her
hormones.
He didn't say anything aboutwho she becomes.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
But hormones means the way she acts.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
No, that doesn't mean it?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
It could also mean that she like breaks out or that
she gains weight.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Okay, whatever the case may be.
So it could be anything, nother attitude.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
That's just how men are.
You just want to associateeverything with someone's
attitude, but go ahead, like theattitude you have now.
Yeah, that has nothing to dowith my hormones.
I'm not on anything.
So now what you got to say.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, finish, finish.
I can't say what I want to saybecause you're going to tell me
to cut it out anyway, finish,like I said.
So he doesn't like who youbecome, whether it's physically
or not, on the birth control.
And he's trying to.
You know he's trying to.
He basically what he's sayingis he wants you to be in a state
where he can actually like youRight and then right.
(44:24):
That's what he's saying.
And then, with the whole shorthair thing, he's not, maybe he's
not attracted to women withshort hair and he wants to be
attracted to his wife.
Okay, because here.
Ok, because here's the thing.
What I've learned is that a lotof times you just have to say,
yeah, you look great when youdon't feel that way.
Just, but he may not be thatkind of guy I taught you.
(44:46):
Well, I've been lying to you somuch because I lied to you.
That's why I taught you well, OK, I'm done.
People this has been.
I have nothing else to say.
I mean, he doesn't have.
It is your body, it is yourchoice.
But the thing about being in arelationship and being with
somebody you should want yourpartner to at least enjoy your
(45:09):
company, I guess.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Enjoy your what?
Why are you automaticallyassociating it with her attitude
?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Enjoy your company and your appearance.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Oh, okay, just in case it's something else.
Okay, anywho.
Yes, I agree where I can see itfrom both sides.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But, like she said, you're also not the one who has
to manage these things.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
You're not the one who's physically going through
the anxiety, you're not the onephysically going through the
stress, you're not the one whophysically has to deal with the
actual physical side effects.
And if she knows that birthcontrol is something that is
beneficial to her body.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
You can get pregnant on birth control too.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yes, you can, but if she knows that, if birth control
in the past is something thathas physically helped her to be
at, you know, a steady baseline,then yes, I want to respect
your opinion about it.
But at the end of the day,again, you're not the one who
has to go through all thesethings.
I, physically, I physicallyhave to go through all these
(46:13):
things.
So instead of making this adebate about me being
disrespectful because I disagreewith how you think I should
manage my body, you could alsojust be supportive and also tell
me, like, babe, I don't thinkit's a good idea.
However, if you feel like thisis something that can help you
and that's going to help youmanage your stress, your anxiety
or whatever, then I can, I can,be in support of that.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
OK, you're taking the whole putting me over you angle
, got you?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
The putting me over you angle.
What is that?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
No, I genuinely don't .
Even if you don't like who Ibecome, support me.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
It's not who I become a babe, you okay, you're just
thinking about.
You're thinking about thingslike in a vacuum.
If, okay, listen, if, if, if,if she had cancer, right, and
they were, let's say they liveda strictly organic, vegan life
or whatever but then she hadcancer and she needed to take
chemotherapy and he comes up toher and say I really don't think
(47:08):
you should be putting thatpoison in your body because
listen dramatic it's dramaticokay, but it's dramatic, so that
I, so that you can understand.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Okay, right, right.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Would you sit there and tell her to not take
something that could potentiallybe life-saving or that could
help her manage her life betterwhile she goes through this, or
would you still stick to yourguns and be like you're being
disrespectful and dismissive ofwhat I want you to do with your
body?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Of course I would tell you to get the chemo.
I want you around.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Okay, so if she's telling you that taking birth
control could help her, whetherit be mentally, physically.
However, because you also wantto keep your wife what, what's
what?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
There's no issue.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
I'm just saying like.
I'm just saying it's not.
It's like like she's saying Ilisten to you, I hear what
you're saying.
It's like the same thing whenwe have to make major decisions,
how you come to me and be likeI hear what you're saying.
However, this is the decisionI'm gonna make.
It is the same thing.
You've done it multiple timesand it's like do I really feel
heard and considered?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
you should.
Oh okay, so then he should too.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
Right, I never say he didn't okay, but then you're
talking about, oh, you're doingthe whole choosing me over, like
that's what you were doing,like, no, like, stop it.
You're stop it, stop it anywaywe can't even have a stop it
anyway, like I said, oh lord theconversation can be had.
You take into consideration whathe says, but at the end of the
(48:38):
day, you are the one who has tophysically go back to the.
Physically, I have to live inthis body.
I have to walk around with thisbody every day.
I have to sit in whatever thisbody is doing Me.
Me.
When I'm feeling stressed out,when I feel like I'm about to,
like, go over a cliff, guesswhat.
(48:59):
You can sit right there oryou're going to be at work, but
I'm still going to be sittinghere, feeling like I'm about to
fall over a damn cliff.
But knowing that if I had takenwhat I feel like would help me
to not feel this way.
But you would rather for me tobe sitting there anxious,
stressed out and everything else, just because you don't want me
to take, take some, say, takesome medicine.
So I'm gonna sit here anxiousand stressed out and everything
else, just because you don'twant me to take some medicine.
So I'm going to sit hereanxious and stressed out and you
(49:20):
don't think that's going toaffect her attitude.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Everything affects a woman's attitude.
That's wild.
That's wild.
The sun was at 45 degreesinstead of 50 today.
That's wild.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Attitude adjustment Anywho who really needs the
attitude adjustment.
Stop thinking you can controleverything.
You don't want mad radio.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I'm not mad, I'm just saying you need to understand.
Look at you, look at you, playit yourself don't piss me off.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Please don't piss me off.
Ha ha cause you're like you'relike you're like seriously, two
words away from just likeruining my day.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Don't do that what two words are those.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Don't double down.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Double down.
Is that the words, maurice?
I'm just trying to have a goodtime.
Alright, but let's go.
The comment of the week.
The comment of the week thisweek is brought to you by Jackie
the Traveler, jackie the.
Traveler, that's her name.
I love it.
This is about the reactionabout the, the Tom, the 44 year
(50:23):
old boyfriend of the.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Oh yeah, you got it.
Listen, guys, you have to keepup, OK.
So if you don't know what we'retalking about, head on over to
Instagram or TikTok.
And it's about the daughter whobrought home a boyfriend who's
like 20.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
The same age as her daddy?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, the same age as her daddy.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
And so Jackie said not old wash up townie.
Now it's funny if you have thewhole context, because
apparently Tom was popular inthe town where she met him.
At that college yeah, thedouble entendre of townie and
Tommy.
I thought was hilarious tommy,you mean tom?
Tom townie I can't, so yeah, Ican't.
(51:05):
That's the comment of the week.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
That was.
That was funny.
That was funny.
That was a good one.
All right, guys, this has beenanother episode of the life
after I do podcast an r2 senseepisode.
If you're not doing so already,we would encourage you, highly,
highly encourage you to go andfollow us on our social media
platforms and TikTok andInstagram Facebook.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
YouTube, all that.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
You know, you can watch the full episodes every
single week on YouTube and youget the fun clips on Instagram
and TikTok and Facebook andYouTube sometimes, yeah, but if
you're not doing so already, goahead and follow us on all of
our social media platforms toall of our new followers and
subscribers.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
We appreciate y'all we appreciate you guys.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Thank you so much for the support.
Thank you so much for the kindwords.
Thank you so much for themessages you guys are starting
to message.
We really appreciate that.
We're grateful.
Congratulations to us forhitting 10,000 downloads.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Congratulations to us .
Congratulations to me, becausewe know that you guys come here,
okay, week after week, toreally hear what I can't with
him, molito has to say Anyways.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
But yes, thank you for rocking with us for this,
what's been a year and a half,two years, something like that,
for 101 episodes.
We really do appreciate youguys.
So until next week.
You already know the drill andwe appreciate.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
we got our fan mail this week from the lovely lady
in South Carolina.
I don't remember your name offthe top, but we will appreciate
you.
There is no way for me torespond so I just have to shout
you out here.
I'm going to get your name andshout you out there next episode
.
My bad, I dropped the ball.
I'll take credit for thisdropping the ball when it's
really.
She's supposed to be called thebaby.
Okay, anyways, I just come inhere and raw dog these things.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Anywho.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
I live my life raw.
I live my life raw.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I gotta cook for a kid, so until next week guys A
kid, not her husband To nextweek.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
We love y'all.
Peace booskies.
There's been a lot of great second place winners.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Hey, if second is where you feel comfortable in
life, by all means do youboo-boo, do you?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
But there is no competition, there's no
competition.
I like how you get perked upwhen I say that I'm just saying,
I love triggering you.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I wasn't triggered.
Yes, you were I just alwaysremind you she going to cuss me
(00:48):
out y'allall after we're donewith this hello, good morning,
good evening whenever you'relistening to this.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode of the Life
After Rage podcast.
Ok, that's enough.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Can you, like you know, they come here for the doo
doo, doo, doo doo, they don't,you know.
Just say your part so we canget to the meat and the potatoes
of the intro.
Okay, do-do-do-do-do, you're amess, I'm a mess, you're a mess.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Anyway, thank you for joining us.
I'm a mess right now.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I can't eat, can't sleep, feels like piling high.
Ain't worked in three weeksShut up.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I can turn anything into a song.
Hey everybody, Welcome back toanother episode of Life After I
Do podcast.
I hope everyone's doing greatout there.
He's always quick with theserenade.
I am.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm riding high today .
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'm in a good mood, that's good.
Endorphins are up, they on athousand, oh, that's good.
Endorphins are up Day on athousand, oh, that's good.
I know because you're shining.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Shining like a nickel .
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Shining like a nickel .
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Did you take three workouts today?
Shining, shining, shining.
I did Shining.
Yeah, that explains it.
That explains it I thought thiswas organic.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
It's not.
It's not organic.
Hey, hi, booskies, how are youdoing?
I'm good.
How are you feeling?
Feeling I'm okay.
On a scale of one to ten, I'mabout a six and a half seven.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Six and a half seven, yeah, well, that ass is fat,
but grateful, nonethelessgrateful.
That ass is fat.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes, but the fact that I'm struggling to.
How was your week?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
My week was very long , very, very long.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
How.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Because the week started off bad, okay, with my
gallbladder attack.
I was in an emergency roomhospital for a night and then
stayed home for a couple of days, so I didn't get my work week
started till late in the weekRight.
Then I ended up working on aday I don't normally work to
make up for the days I miss.
That was terrible.
So now I only end up having oneday off.
(02:50):
Oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
All because of that gallbladder.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
All because of this damn gallbladder.
Don't get old.
It's rough out here in thesestreets for old niggas.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's rough out here.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Or you can just like.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Watch what you're eating.
I do watch it as I put it onthe floor.
Okay, yeah, I know.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
I watch it.
That's because you had a lot ofbeef too Last weekend.
What?
Who got beef with me?
Okay, I'm not in the mood tomelt.
Hold up, hold up girl, hold upgirl.
I'm not in the mood for your,for your, shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
You let a get shenanigans one time He'll
shenan again.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
He'll shenan again.
Don't let him shenan, not once.
But.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I mean, overall, it was a pretty good week.
I feel like I'm gettingstronger, but I'm also getting
fatter.
You're getting fatter, but okay, my stomach's still big.
Yeah, oh, wow, yeah.
Y'all see how she do me.
Y'all see how she do me.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Y'all see how she do me.
My son is yeah Mine is too.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
No, it's not, babe.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Okay, okay, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
No, it's not babe, but I can see your fabs.
Only in the morning, only forthe first 30 minutes of the day.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
But nonetheless, I can see your fabs the second I
eat something.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
it's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
They gone, they gone.
Your fabs, the second I eatsomething.
That's right, they go, they go.
But but you know the potentialis there and I think that's
enough.
How was your week to get youwhere?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
you gotta go um my week was good.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Um, you know, just getting through.
Are you done all?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
right, are you done?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm just playing great good how was your week I
could really go just take a nap.
I'm always down for a good nap.
I'm like I really could.
No, my week was good, justgetting through all.
Still all her birthday giftsbecause you know now we have to
open everything, and she wantsto play with everything Now.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
you just triggered me because not, not because not
not, not her, so she got an easybake over it.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
They're called a yum yum, whatever it's called it's
easy, bake over and not.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Her making her first little cake yesterday and she
proceeded to eat a piece, gaveher mama piece and then she
gonna tell me oh no, dad,because you don't have the
calories for this.
Ma'am, she's looking out foryou, but did you?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
see how she the smallest piece that she gave you
, and did you hear what she said?
The smallest piece that shegave you, yes, and did you hear
what she said when she gave it?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
to me.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
She was like I only gave you a little piece, Mom,
because I know I don't want youto get fat again, so I only gave
you a little piece.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I said at least you got a piece Shit.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I said girl.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And it's about this thin the whole pan, probably 100
calories.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I was like girl, she was so proud she did really good
.
She used the measurement spoonsand stuff and she read out the
measurements.
I tried to do my best to notinterfere.
When I see she's doingsomething I try to let her
figure it out.
Sometimes it's hard because ifyou can see someone's error, you
try to stop them or try tocorrect it before they can make
(05:48):
the mistake.
And so I told her.
I was like I'm just going tohear, I'm just going to be here
to supervise, but you need tomake sure you read the
directions, understand thedirections and then follow the
directions, you know.
And she was like I got it andeverything and she needed the
tablespoons.
And so I gave her the measuringspoons, like the pack of
measuring spoons, and I was likeso whichever measuring it tells
(06:11):
you you need, you need to lookfor the spoons.
I was like because all of thespoons are right here, but you
need to look for them.
And she was like okay, so she'slike reading them and she's
like, oh, tablespoon.
And she was like this one'stablespoon, two, but it says one
, okay, one tablespoon, and Itablespoon.
And I was just like.
I was like look at my baby.
And she was like see, mom kidscan bake.
I was like look at my littlebaby.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Yeah, there's a whole show.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I was like my baby.
I was proud of her, though, and, more importantly, she was
proud of herself.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, I wish she'd be proud of herself with the other
aspects of her life life.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
She is like cleaning.
Oh I mean, who's gonna beenthusiastic about that?
That's crazy work it's.
It's crazy where?
That's because she probablysees me unenthusiastically doing
it that's crazy.
That's crazy work.
I won't go say goodbye.
You've been slagging anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
I have not cut it out well, well, you know, guys, you
have made the episode 101 youget on my last nerve sometimes
this is episode 101 of a lifeafter I do podcast he was about
to say the other one no, Iwasn't.
Yes, you were and I have sat atthis table or we started on the
couch, yeah, with my wife, for101 times at least and every
(07:21):
time she comes for me and whocame?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
No one, literally no one came for you.
You just came for me talkingabout I was slacking in my
housekeeping.
And I think from this point on,I think but you know, I can
show you what slacking lookslike.
If you would prefer to comehome to a dirty home.
I can make that happen for you,and then I can show you what
it's really like to slack.
Would you like that?
Because?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
you know what?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
happens when you make comments like that.
I guess I could show you betterthan I can tell you.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's like, because no one wants to wash dishes nine
times a day.
It's like the real.
Your brother lost him yesterday, my brother, he said.
He said, when your wife tellsyou that she's thinking about a
home approval project, you know,like the floors or new carpet.
Jess explained to her that thefloors wouldn't look as bad if
she actually got down there andcleaned them.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
You know what?
And I said send this toyourself.
Absolutely not, Absolutely not.
No, these Cracking me up.
I've been complaining because Iwant new floors.
Mainly.
I want new floors because Ialso want new floors and I also
want new floor beds, baseboards,baseboards.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, floor beds is wild.
You know what I mean.
Not if you're wanting somethingand you don't know what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
But you know what I mean.
That's why you were able tocorrect me.
Guys, we want new beds on thefloor.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You know I want new floor beds.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Floor beds are a thing, ok, but anyway, yes, I
want new floors and I want newbaseboards.
And it's because we havepainted, we repainted the house
like a few years ago and I justfeel like the floors don't
really vibe with the house and Ialso feel like, because these
are still the same floors fromthe last.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
The last owners this house is going to start, we're
going to get floors, so I want.
Then.
And then the last owners thishouse is going to start, we're
going to get floors, so I want.
And then you'll be like youknow what?
I think the floors actuallylook better with this paint
color.
Then we got the paint again.
No, I know the paint for sureI'm not changing.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I absolutely love the paint that I chose For sure.
For sure I'm not going tochange the paint because the
paint feel and look lighter.
I mean, the walls were custardbefore.
So, anything outside of thatwould have been better.
I could have painted the wholehouse red and it still would
have been better than the 1990scustard that was in here.
(09:36):
Well, like everyone you know, infor a treat, because we did a
special.
What was it?
R2 Cents for the 100th episode,but we also do R2Cents at the
beginning of each new month.
Well, at the end.
So you guys are in for a twofer.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
It's an all-in you got too.
If you only get one inSeptember, don't come for us,
right?
This is true.
That part this is true.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
But everyone's favorite, r2cents, which are the
reaction videos, is true, thatpart, this is true, that part,
this is true.
But um everyone's favorite, ourtwo cents, which are the
reaction videos are true,they're really fun for me too,
like I enjoy doing our two centsfor one, whether the stories
are true or not.
I think it's diabolical thatpeople even think about them
think about them or like.
These are some people's reallife situations which I think is
.
(10:23):
I mean, it's interesting, itkeeps life interesting, so you
can't complain about that.
So we got a few hour two centsfor you guys today.
So let me see, I'll start youoff, you know calm.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Okay, not too crazy, not too much, not too much.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Okay.
Am I overreacting for being madat my fiance for inviting his
mother on our honeymoon?
Okay, okay, all right.
My fiance, who is 30, and I'm,a 29 year old female, are
getting married in November.
We have been planning ourhoneymoon in Greece for over a
year now.
(10:59):
Yesterday he told me that heinvited his mom to join us for
the first few days of thehoneymoon because she's always
dreamed of going to Greece.
He thought it would be a quote,unquote, sweet surprise.
I told him that I was not OKwith that and that our honeymoon
is something for us, not forhis mom.
(11:21):
He says that I'm beingcontrolling and ungrateful
seeing that he is paying for theentire trip.
Am I overreacting or making abig deal of this or what I'm
going?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
to say slightly.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Slightly overreacting .
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Slightly.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Why?
Because he paying.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Not because he's paying, oh why.
Because I mean, I mean thathelps, but I think what he's
trying to, I think he's probablyfinally got in the position to
give his mom something he alwayswanted to give her.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
And he's trying to take advantage.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
He's trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
That's it.
And so as a man, I see that andit's like it's just a couple
days Now.
She got just because she goingwith us don't mean she got to
tag along with everything, butthat's what she's gonna do.
She's going to be with us, youdon't know because, okay, yes, I
do I do, because now she's ingreece with her son.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
So now she also wants to make memories being in
greece with her son.
And guess who's there?
His new wife.
So guess whose honeymoon isgoing to be ruined?
Mine, it's not gonna be ruinedas long as she don't know, but
the point is is I don't want tosee your mom on my honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
I don't care if it's just doing breakfast, but she
come by goodbye, good damn bye.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I don't want to see your mom on my honeymoon.
This is supposed to be a timethis is supposed to be a time
and space for just the two of us, and especially because we're
starting our life together.
If you want to, if you want totreat your mom to a trip to
Greece, if you got the money totreat her now, you're going to
have the money to get her herown separate trip?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
No, because he probably got a discount.
Let me ask you this Would youfeel better about it if she was
there the last couple of daysinstead of the first couple of
days?
I would feel better, I'm justtrying to say In case I do
something like this In thefuture.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I would feel better this is research now If she
wasn't there.
Oh For our honeymoon, okay.
Now, if you wanted to plan Afamily vacation For us to go
back, okay, I'm down with that.
That's different, I'm down.
But our honeymoon, right.
Our first night together as manand wife.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Oh, that's gonna be a hard.
It's the same with JJ.
Ain't nothing new about it.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I really just don't even know how I tolerate you at
times.
Why, babe?
I really don't even understandhow my life got here sometimes
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
What I'm saying is I understand why she's upset, I
understand all that.
I understand him too, but Iunderstand what he's trying to
do and you know I get it likebut your priority shouldn't be
surprised like giving a greatsurprise to your mom.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It's me okay, and if that makes me sound selfish,
then so be it, because I'm yourwife.
I don't give two shits aboutsurprising your mama right now.
It's my honeymoon.
I thought it'd be a greatsurprise for my mom and I'm able
to do this for my mom.
Do it for her another time.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
But what if he don't think he'll be able to do it
again?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Listen, that's not my testimony.
That's not my testimony.
I don't know what to tell you.
Husband, work harder, make moremoney.
If it's that important for youto send your mama to Greece, I
I'm gonna tell you that you needto work harder you need to make
more money so you can buyanother ticket to send her to
greece.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I don't know what to tell you.
That's not my testimony, not mytestimony.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
it's my honeymoon, so I think you're slightly
overreacting.
No, I don't think you are, butanyway.
Um, okay, am I the asshole fortelling my wife either she gets
a job or I'm putting her on anallowance?
Okay, my wife who's 34.
I'm sorry, my wife who's 34 andI'm 34.
She's a stay at home mom andshe likes to spin frivolously.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Lord, come on now, let's get into it.
Forget you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
After the kids go to school on the bus, she usually
goes back to bed, then wakes up,goes starbucks to have a coffee
and bagel and browse her phone.
Then she goes to the gym aftergoing shopping.
She doesn't always buy things,sometimes it's just window
shopping, but she spent fifteenhundred dollars by herself, um
some months on clothes, hair,nails, makeup, eyebrows, buying
eyelashes and packages calledthings like baddie or fuck boy,
(15:35):
etc.
I told her that we need to gether on a budget and to stick to
it, and if she can't, then I'llhave no choice but to put her on
an allowance or she can go andget a job.
She was furious.
She said if I wanted a workingwife then I should have married
a hard working girl instead ofher.
I reminded her that when wefirst married, she did have
(15:56):
plans to work and had all thosebig plans on becoming a quote
unquote businesswoman.
Yet she never acted on anything.
She called me an ungratefulasshole and then said divorce me
.
Then I don't know what to do.
Am I an asshole for telling herto either get a handle on her
spending, get a job or I'll puther on an allowance.
(16:17):
Am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (16:18):
no, you're not an asshole.
And first of all I thought Iwrote this until he said 1500
and I said, oh no, that's not mystory, that's not, that's not
your is not your testimony,ma'am, I can relate to this.
You absolutely cannot relate toit Because I'm not saying not
(16:39):
right now, but like in yourfirst couple post-COVID
stay-at-home mom, years you wereballing out of control.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I wouldn't say balling, but I was spending
without thinking you was outthere.
I wasn't say balling, but I wasspending without thinking you
was out there.
I wasn't balling out of control, but I did spend a lot without
thinking.
You still do.
Well, and my way of thinkingtoo was that.
And then also, I was like I'mpretty sure some of the money I
made is still there anyway.
That's not how it is.
(17:09):
You haven't been working forthree years.
At that point.
You haven't been working forthree years.
At that point I was like someof that money, like the money
that's in the saving, is itstill money that I'm sure I've
contributed to, because I'm surethat has not been spent.
So therefore, like it's my moneytoo, Like you know, it's the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I feel like it's the same.
Sir, you're not an asshole.
I don't think you're an asshole.
This is actually something thatreally needs to be reined in,
because when you are, when youare a single income household,
everything needs to be accountedfor.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And I'll just spend it Now.
Granted there's.
So now I will say my wife doesnot just spend money to spend
money.
I will get rid of that.
She only buys things that sheshe deems necessary.
Now she deems a lot of thingsnecessary, but she's not out
(17:58):
here wild, nope, right, and I'vegotten really good at like,
even like saving.
Yeah, she does, thank you nowlook here.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Look, but old navy hate to see her coming well, you
know, me and old navy, we go,we go back way too far.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
So I was like babe, you still.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
This is why we are not in college anymore I know,
but I just I've always loved oldnavy, since I was like 19, I
don't know why it's great forfast pieces, you know I don't
think you're asshole.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
This is something that has to be because if if it
gets out of control, it can'thinder the whole house yeah and
I think that, uh, she needs tounderstand that and I would say,
um, I would just give her a lotmore, I would, honestly, would
just actually no, that probablywouldn't work.
She'd just overdraft theaccount.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Listen here, because she sound like the type to just
swipe.
This is what I'll say.
Just swipe, this is what I'llsay.
Go ahead, what you gonna say.
As a woman who is in a, youknow, like a non-traditional
working, I like to say it thatway, a non-traditional working
woman.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How are you non-traditional?
Never mind Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
In a non-working tradition setting, you know, but
anyway, as someone who is astay-at-home mom for now, For
now I will say Breaking newspeople.
Shut up.
I will say this For you to cometo her like it, probably
because this feels very all of asudden to me, right, and this
probably came up he was probablydoing bills, looking at the
(19:19):
numbers and he was like I know,I know in God's greener if she
did not like spend this much,and then he just came to her and
dropped this bomb, like eitheryou get on allowance or you have
to go back to work, because I'msure this habit has been going
on for quite some time.
And so, like I have told you inthe past, you cannot make me
feel like everything is okay andthen all of a sudden want to
(19:42):
come and lay down the hammerBecause I was blind to what was
really happening.
No, you weren't blind.
You're not blind.
Every 29 days when you sit downand look at the bills and pay
credit cards and do all you'renot blind.
But you sit there and you'recussing and fussing to yourself,
but you haven't said anythingto her.
And then now it's getting to apoint where she, like that,
she's blind to what, however,you're paying bills.
(20:02):
She's blind to, however, themoney she just knows that eggs
listen, and that's what I say.
That's what.
That's what I say.
Because if you haven't beenhaving the conversation with her
about, hey, babe, let me justlet you know, like I know I take
care of the bills.
I know that I work, but this iswhat our you know our monthly
income is.
This is what our bills are.
I really need you to payattention to when you're
(20:23):
spending, you know, just so thatI can ensure that we stay on
track.
If you haven't had previousconversations with her about
that.
And then, all of a sudden,because she spent $1,500 in one
month, and now you're like, nope, I'm going to lay down the
hammer, that's not going to goover.
Well, because, like, we've hadconversations like that too,
right, where it's like if youput me in a state of being
comfortable and I'm just like,okay, like if it's there, if
(20:48):
it's there, and I don't feellike I'm putting our household
at risk, I'm, I'm going to, I'mgoing to get it, like what's the
problem?
And you never coming to mesaying hey, babe, I don't really
think that was a smart decisionto spend $170 on a pair of
tennis shoes.
If you don't say things likethat in my mind, I'm like.
I'm like, you're like, so youknow he was cool with.
(21:09):
That Doesn't mean I'm going tokeep doing it, but but she will,
because he ain't said nothingRight.
But, then you want to wait tothe last minute to come and be
like, okay, now I'm going to putyou on an allowance.
And her reaction is just whather reaction was, because I
would have been like, oh, nowyou want to put me on allowance,
I haven't worked in a decade,and now you want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You want to come talk to me about money.
I don't know if it's been adecade.
I know, but I'm just sayingAlso, I kind of feel like it
could also have been the way hesaid it.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Absolutely.
That's why.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I said it.
It could have been the way hesaid it.
That's why I said it feels allof a sudden Like if you were to
come to me and just be householdmoney.
You just part b, you're justpart of the house.
Good damn, it's my money too.
(21:57):
It's household.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
But um, yeah, but if you come to me that way, instead
of saying hey, can we talksitting down and being like hey.
So I just want you to know,like, I don't mind you getting
the things that you need.
I know that there's likeshopping that you like to do,
but if you can be a little bitmore mindful because this month,
you know we were here and Ineed us to stay here to be
(22:19):
comfortable, for me to pay thebills, for you to continue, you
know, doing the little shoppingthat you can do, or for you to
continue driving the car thatyou want to drive, like, like,
if he came at it with adifferent angle, then she could
sit there and be like, ok, maybespending fifteen hundred
dollars last night was, I mean,last month was a bit much.
Right, right, maybe that was,maybe that was a bit much.
And if he's Starbucks and ifhe's telling me like it's, he's
(22:42):
not saying that he has a problemwith me spending money.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It's just the mouth.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
He's just telling me you can't be spending fifteen
hundred dollars like this everymonth because you're going to
drive us right into thepoorhouse If spending $1,500
like this every month becauseyou're going to drive us right
into the poorhouse.
If he came from that angle, Iwould be like, okay, you know
what, I get it.
I understand Like, maybe Idon't spend $500 at Sephora,
maybe I only spend $250.
You know, compromise, I get it.
Don't trigger me.
(23:06):
What's the matter?
I have not spent that much atSephora in a very long time.
So please, fucking Sephora, mac.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Please, please, estee Lauder.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
What Now?
You're just like throwing outall the brands that you remember
Bloomingdale's, demeo.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Cut it out, all these places that are just built to
break up marriages.
But you don't say nothing whenI surprise you with stuff that's
different oh yeah, that'sdifferent you surprise me with
stuff that came from the houseaccount in which my check went.
So it's like you surprise mewith spending my money on me.
It is our money.
Hey, babe, here's your gift foryou but it's because.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
It's because you wouldn't have thought to get it
for yourself.
So it's the what that counts.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
You're thinking about me, and it's the thought that
counts.
I wish your daughter wouldthink about me.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
A gift is a gift, okay.
Okay.
Am I the asshole for refusingto let my sister borrow $15,000
from my inheritance to pay forher dream wedding?
Oh no.
To pay for her dream wedding,oh no.
So, for context, my dad passedaway three years ago and left me
a 28-year-old female, my sister, who's 26, each a portion of
his estate.
(24:19):
He was very intentional abouthow he divided things.
My sister got the house, whichwas already mortgage-free,
because she lived with him andcared for him.
Toward the end, I, on the otherhand, got a lump sum of money
about $50,000, because I hadmoved out years earlier and was
already renting my own place.
My sister has always been alittle reckless with money.
(24:41):
She works, but she's constantlytaking trips, buying luxury
items and upgrading her carevery couple of years.
Meanwhile, I've been using myinheritance responsibly I paid
off a huge chunk of my studentloans, built an emergency fund
and I'm saving for a downpayment on a house.
Here's where the problem starts.
My sister got engaged last yearand is planning a massive,
(25:04):
over-the-top wedding.
We're talking a $60,000 budgetwith a fancy venue, custom dress
dress and an open bar for 300guests.
She recently came to me andasked if she could borrow 15K
for my inheritance money becauseshe and her fiance are coming
up short.
She swore up and down that shewould pay me back within the
(25:26):
year once their finances got inorder.
I told her no, that money isn'tjust sitting there for me to
throw around.
It's for my future.
Plus, given her history withmoney, I don't even believe that
she'd pay me back.
She flipped out crying about howdad would want her to have the
wedding of her dreams and howI'm being selfish because I
(25:47):
already used the money to bettermy life while she hasn't even
got anything out of hers yet.
My mom sided with her and toldme that I should help family and
that weddings are a once in alifetime thing.
But my fiance, who's 29, andfriends think that I'd be insane
to hand over 15,000 for a party.
My sister and I haven't spokenproperly in weeks.
(26:07):
She told extended family thatI'm ruining her big day because
I'm hoarding money For therecord.
If she had asked for a smalleramount for something important
like medical bills or emergencyexpenses, I might have
considered helping, but a luxurywedding Absolutely not.
Now I've been painted a villainand I can't help but wonder if
(26:29):
I'm being too rigid.
Am I the asshole for refusingto lend her the 15K for her
wedding, even though I did getinheritance money?
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Not at all, Girl.
No, You're either the daughterhero or let alone I'll see
yourself become the villain.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, like that's going to be a hard no.
And then now you say you'regoing to pay me back, but your
finances ain't even in order now.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Hold on hold on hold on.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
That makes no sense.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
I haven't said this in a long time what man fuck her
and her fiance.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Goodbye.
Look here.
Your sister's right about onething Her dad would want her to
have a lovely wedding.
Now dad might also tell herthis ain't in your budget.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Or he would pay for it if he was here.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
He would make a way to pay for it, but he's not here
and if you're so sure aboutthis wedding and your fiance,
ma'am, you have a asset and ahouse that is paid for that you
can leverage mortgage free gotake that $15,000 out against
the house yep, but she ain'tgonna do that, oh, cause that's
where they're gonna livemortgage free oh yeah.
You ain't been paying a mortgagefor how many years?
Come on now.
(27:28):
I mean, if I didn't have amortgage, shit, balling shit,
you are not there, so I wouldn'tgive her, yeah, I wouldn't get
my biggest.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
My biggest thing, I'm on the side of her.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I'm you know.
You know how I feel aboutparties.
Yeah, I know, you know how youhold up you know how.
You know how he loves parties.
I do not love parties.
You know how anti-wedding I wasfor us and I at the when we
first got engaged.
That was a big tussle for usbecause she wanted a wedding and
I was like I'm not trying topay for people to say
congratulations, goodbye.
(28:01):
I am not.
I am not.
I'm okay with a kickbackEverybody brings something.
But I'm not for that but.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
I think my biggest issue is when the sister asked
to borrow the 15K, promising topay it back.
She added we promised to pay it, or I promised to pay it back
once me and my fiance'sfinancials are in order.
Baby, your financials ain't inorder.
She said they were 20, 29, 28or 26 and 29.
(28:32):
Nope, boo, 29, 28, or 26 and 29?
Nope, boo, if you think it'sresponsible to spend $60,000 on
a wedding and you already sayingyour financials are not in
order and then trying to takeout a $15,000 loan from your
sister which only further letsme know you're not going to pay
her back.
You're not she is not going tobe the high priority, because
(28:52):
then it's going to be oh well,we want to take this trip, or we
want to start a family, or wewant to Girl.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Please, here's the solution Instead of taking a
year to pay your sister back,postpone your wedding a year.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Right, right, exactly .
If you can pay me back in ayear, then that means you can
save the $15,000 for the yearand wait yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You're not the asshole though.
No, you're not the asshole.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
You're not the asshole.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
And she can make me the villain all she wants.
I'm going to sell her Girl.
Stack your money by your house.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, no, that's going to be a hard no for me.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Fuck her in here.
What's her fiance name?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know Any dating in ournames.
No, no, okay, blame myself.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Okay.
Am I the asshole for telling myson's African-American
girlfriend that she can wear awig, even if my son doesn't want
her to?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
Oh Lord, okay, here we go.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
I'm a white woman out of the depths on this topic and
too scared to ask anyone who'sAfrican-American face to face.
But my son's first girlfriendis African-American and we'll
call her Nina.
Usually when I see her she's abubbly social butterfly.
She smiles a lot and is verytalkative.
Recently I noticed Nina seemingless confident and times I see
(30:06):
her.
Her change in demeanor was themost noticeable change.
But I also noticed the recentlack of wigs, makeup and jewelry
, and I didn't even realize thetwo were connected.
One day I was to drive them to aparty.
My son was upstairs and Ninawas downstairs.
She looked like she wasdreading going to the party and
I asked what was wrong.
(30:26):
She said that she doesn't feelpretty.
I asked her why and she saidthat she's getting used to
showing her natural hair.
I asked her if she feels souncomfortable with showing her
hair, why is she doing it?
She said my son thinks that shelooks cooler that way.
I told her that I used to dothings to impress boys too.
When I was her age.
(30:46):
I told her that she can wear awig even if my son doesn't want
her to.
Days later I have never seen myson more angry with me than
that day he said that I'm awhite woman and that I should
not be advising a black girl onhow to look he had.
He called me an overhearing oroverbearing mom and a Karen.
I was shook, so shook that Ihave not spoken to him because I
(31:10):
was angry.
But am I the asshole?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
if she caring he can, because how you hypocrisy, how
you calling the kettle black sir, you're doing the same thing
your mom's doing.
Your mom basically told her tobe who you want to be, to do
what makes you feel pretty don'tchange who you are right now
and you're trying to change herto fit.
Look here if you don't like her, the way she looks, the way or
(31:36):
the way she wants to look, right?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
because apparently you met her when she was wearing
wigs, jewelry and makeup, andnow you don't like her with wigs
, jewelry and makeup and yourmama said girl, I used to do the
same thing, but don't do thatif that's what make you happy,
do it you in my business, don'tdo that.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
The one thing I will agree withas a man who loves a black
woman and natural hair andnatural black hairstyles ain't
nothing better than a blackwoman with natural hairstyle.
It's pretty great.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
So maybe that's what it was.
He saw her for the first timewithout her makeup time.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
You have to be like, hey, if my baby is
self-conscious of this or shefeels like she has more
self-esteem doing things thisway, you got to be okay with
that, Because you should loveher for who she is on the inside
, if you love her that much, ifyou want to be with her that
much.
So I don't, ma'am, I don'tthink you're an asshole, I think
(32:35):
your son is an asshole.
And let that woman be andhopefully she'll come around to
the fact that you know, go where.
You're celebrated, nottolerated.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Exactly.
Can't agree more.
All right, here we go.
Are you going to say I agreedwith what you said.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
My wife.
So rock that pineapple then.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Bye.
My wife had her wild phasebefore me, and now that I'm
finally thriving, I feel like Imissed out.
Am.
I wrong for feeling this way.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Okay, so I've been married to my wife for five
years, we've been together foreight and we have two beautiful
children.
She's been my first everything,my first girlfriend, my first
real relationship, my first inevery sense.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
We get it, you're a virgin.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
I didn't really date in high school or college
because, honestly, I didn't takecare of myself, I lacked
confidence and I didn't feelattractive, so I stayed focused
on other things.
My wife, on the other hand, hada more quote-unquote, typical
college experience.
She had a few relationships andhad her phase, as she was
extremely attractive.
She even did stuff with twoguys at one time.
(33:40):
She was upfront about it whenwe first started dating and it
never bothered me, although Itry not to think about it too
much.
Now here's the thing Over theyears she's become quite
reserved when it comes tointimacy.
She says that she's had herquote unquote wild side during
college and now that she's donewith that phase she prefers a
more traditional approach tointimacy.
(34:02):
She says that she's triedeverything.
And she?
She says that she's triedeverything she wanted to and
knows what she enjoys and whatshe doesn't enjoy in the bedroom
, and she wants to buildintimacy on love, not wild lust,
and I completely respect that.
I'm not trying to do somethingwhich doesn't excite her in the
bedroom.
(34:22):
But lately I've changed.
I'm in the best shape of mylife physically, mentally,
emotionally and my family andfriends are kind of shocked with
how I look now.
My wife loves the new me andsays she finds me more
attractive than ever.
But, to be blunt, I don't carethat my wife finds me more
(34:42):
attractive, because I know Ilook good now and it's not like
her finding me more attractivewill change anything in the
bedroom department.
My hormones right now are allover the place and I can't help
but feel like I missed my chanceto experience that same quote
unquote fun side of my life.
I have never had theexploration, the experimentation
(35:03):
or the freedom Now that Ifinally feel great about myself.
That door seems closed.
I brought it up with my sisterbecause we're close, and she was
surprisingly blunt.
She said that it's unfair thatmy wife got to have those
experiences and now expects meto settle for less when for the
things that she once enjoyed.
That hit me harder than Iexpected.
(35:24):
But my sister also loves me todeath and would say some crazy
stuff like I deserve to have anexperience with at least one
other woman in my life or elseI'll keep resenting my wife.
I love my wife and I don't wantto hurt her.
I'm not thinking of cheating oranything like that, but I do
feel stuck between respectingher boundaries and acknowledging
my own desires that I never hada chance to bring to fruition
(35:48):
or that could exist.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Has anyone else been in thesituation?
How do I cope?
You're not wrong for fulfillingyou're not wrong, for first of
all, you're not wrong forfeeling that way.
Your wife was a 304 bye marise,but she was up front about it,
yeah she told him about it.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
She doesn't have, she didn't have her back knocked
out every every which way but aloose and that's why.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And that's why, in this stage of life, she's on the
opposite end.
She's like I've done that, I'vedone it, yeah, I've, I've done
that, I've done it.
Yeah, I've been there, donethat.
It was fulfilling for the fun.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Hold on Now.
You done been in the gym, youworking out, you look good, you
feel good, you horny.
That testosterone level doneskyrocketed.
Your libido is on 3 millionbecause, people, that is real
the more you work out, thehigher your libido get and you
(36:39):
be, as a man who works outregularly.
Now I'm like a rabbit dog.
Let this woman bend over.
It's crazy.
Let this woman bend over.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
It's crazy.
I was like you're not 13,.
Sir, I'm in there, you're not13 and just discovered yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I understand all that Now, unfortunately, I would say
if, if you want to be a good,honest man, this is a cross
you're going to have to bearbecause you cannot force your
wife to do anything she do notwant to do.
Now I also feel like your wifeshould acquiesce to some things.
If she loves you, she would,she should understand, because
she's experienced.
Yeah, yeah, she should be ableto knock out the bar.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
She should be able to show you some moves that before
so it's, it's, it's.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
You're stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Pause, I don't know to tell you, sir.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Um, this is a conversation I've got to have
listen.
I completely understand wherehe's coming from, like I can.
I can understand when he sayshe feel like he let.
He missed out.
He's only ever had one vagina.
He don't know what a goodvagina is, right, well, so
that's the best he's ever had,right?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I think that would always tell you nothing, nothing
to compare you to.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
So it's the best I ever had, the best you ever
gonna get um, but I canunderstand what he's saying
about now that he feel he hasthe feelings that he wished he
had prior to marriage and thenthat would have allowed him to
have those experiences and, likehe said, I'm thinking about
cheating, but if I can at leastget those experiences with my
(38:01):
wife.
And knowing that my wife handedout those experiences so so
frivolously in her younger years, I should be able to get
something man, you should beable to get as freaky as
possible with the woman you'rewith.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I'm sorry, the woman you had married.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Yeah, but I do think that's a conversation like, I
believe, if he comes to her withthat mind frame and she says
she wants no, he didn't.
He went to his sister, he spoketo his sister, but his wife
says she, she wants intimacy offof love not yeah, but he didn't
say.
He didn't say that was aconversation he had first of all
people.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
let me say on Do you not think you're supposed to
lust after your partner?
You don't think I lust afterthis woman?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
You should not have lust in your heart.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Okay, I was lusting after you this morning.
Every time you go out to theshower and walk by me naked, I'm
lustful.
Oh my gosh, right there.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
I want to plant my lust.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
right there, I want to plant my lust right there.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I want to plant my lust right there.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Right there.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
So silly, I want to plant my lust, right there.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
That is exactly where I want to plant my lust.
You should be lustful to yourpartner.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
But I think it's one of the things.
Like you said, they do need tohave a conversation.
He does need to try to stressthe importance of, like I'm not
asking you to I'm not asking forit to introduce another person
into the relationship, but I amsaying that I didn't get a
chance to experience thosethings and I would love nothing
more than to experience themwith you, and we are married, so
there is love there.
(39:28):
Bust this shit open.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Like well, there is love there.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I love you, throw it back, make it clap.
Speaker 2 (39:34):
I love you enough that I've ignored this part
anyway for so long, and now thatI'm actually feeling good about
myself, like I want to see, youknow what that could be like,
and I'm doing it with you.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
I guarantee you, I guarantee you if he, if another,
if he starts catching the eyeof other women and she notices
that she may change her tune,maybe because women don't move
until they feel they gotcompetition.
Oh, that's not true, becauseevery time she thinks she got
competition all of a sudden.
I ain't that funny.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
First of all, first of all, there's no competition.
Let's start there.
Let's start.
There's no competition.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
I mean, I know.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
I'm not going nowhere .
They don't know, that's theproblem.
You think I ain't going nowhere.
The thing is is that if theyever think that they could be
competition to me, baby, I'vealready won.
Oh, there could never be acompetition, are you?
Yeah, have you sure you won?
I'm positive.
Indeed man, I'm positive.
How have you won?
Because I was first.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You're first where.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
You're my first board , Baby.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
I've already won.
Anything after me is listen.
There's been a lot of greatsecond place winners.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Hey, if second is where you feel comfortable in
life, by all means do youboo-boo, do you?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
But there is no competition.
There's no competition.
I like how you get perfect.
When I say that, I'm justsaying I love triggering you.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
There's no competition.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
I like how you get perked up when I say that, I'm
just saying I love triggeringyou.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
No, I wasn't triggered.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yes, you were I just always remind you.
She gonna cuss me out y'allafter we done with this.
No.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
I just always remind you that, like, come on girl,
this is the same person who getsupset when he says he doesn't
feel like I get.
Have said that before.
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Oh my god, I have never said you have quite
literally said see you see hegets on camera and then he wants
to switch.
You are making shit up.
What are you?
Does love?
No one?
Ain't nobody checking for me.
My dms is dry, my phone is dry,I don't know, I don't know how
to work out technology.
I don't know that to be trueyou have my phone, you over here
like capping for the people no,I wasn't capping.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
You have said that before cut it out.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Never said that.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
Yes, you have never okay, I think we have time for
one more, one more do we do whatyou want to do?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I'm just scrolling trying to get a nut.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
My gosh I can't with you.
Um, am I the asshole fortelling my husband he doesn't
get to decide what I do with mybody?
Okay, I've been married to myhusband for about five years.
Overall we have a pretty goodrelationship, but lately we've
been clashing over somethingthat to me, feels like common
sense my body equals my decision.
(42:07):
The most recent fight startedwhen I mentioned possibly
getting on birth control again.
He immediately jumped in sayingthat he didn't like
quote-unquote, like how itchanges my hormones, and that he
would prefer that I just stayoff of it.
I told him that I respect hisopinion, but at the end of the
day, I'm the one dealing withthe side effects of not being on
anything.
He doesn't get the cramps, hedoesn't get the stress, he
(42:33):
doesn't get the oh no, is this apregnancy scare anxiety.
When I said, look, it's my bodyand I'm the one who has to
manage it, not you, he gotreally defensive and accused me
of not caring about his feelings.
To be clear, I do care.
He's my husband, I listen to him, but I also feel like it's
unfair for him to think he getsa final vote on decisions that
literally affect my health.
(42:53):
For context, this isn't justabout the birth control.
He also made comments before.
When I cut my hair short orwhen I considered getting a
small tattoo Nothing extreme,but even though, but enough that
I'm not down now noticing apattern I told him flat out you
don't have the right to tell mewhat to do with my body.
He said that I was beingdisrespectful.
(43:14):
Now I'm wondering if I was tooblunt or if I just set a
boundary that needed to be set.
So am I an asshole for standingmy ground?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
I'm on both sides of this.
I'm on both sides.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Okay, Now let me start off with the birth control
thing.
Okay, Okay, one.
He's saying that he doesn'tlike who you become while you're
on the birth control.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
No, he said he just doesn't like how it changes her
hormones.
He didn't say anything aboutwho she becomes.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
But hormones means the way she acts.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
No, that doesn't mean it?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
It could also mean that she like breaks out or that
she gains weight.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Okay, whatever the case may be.
So it could be anything, nother attitude.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
That's just how men are.
You just want to associateeverything with someone's
attitude, but go ahead, like theattitude you have now.
Yeah, that has nothing to dowith my hormones.
I'm not on anything.
So now what you got to say.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Yeah, finish, finish.
I can't say what I want to saybecause you're going to tell me
to cut it out anyway, finish,like I said.
So he doesn't like who youbecome, whether it's physically
or not, on the birth control.
And he's trying to.
You know he's trying to.
He basically what he's sayingis he wants you to be in a state
where he can actually like youRight and then right.
(44:24):
That's what he's saying.
And then, with the whole shorthair thing, he's not, maybe he's
not attracted to women withshort hair and he wants to be
attracted to his wife.
Okay, because here.
Ok, because here's the thing.
What I've learned is that a lotof times you just have to say,
yeah, you look great when youdon't feel that way.
Just, but he may not be thatkind of guy I taught you.
(44:46):
Well, I've been lying to you somuch because I lied to you.
That's why I taught you well, OK, I'm done.
People this has been.
I have nothing else to say.
I mean, he doesn't have.
It is your body, it is yourchoice.
But the thing about being in arelationship and being with
somebody you should want yourpartner to at least enjoy your
(45:09):
company, I guess.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Enjoy your what?
Why are you automaticallyassociating it with her attitude
?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Enjoy your company and your appearance.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Oh, okay, just in case it's something else.
Okay, anywho.
Yes, I agree where I can see itfrom both sides.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But, like she said, you're also not the one who has
to manage these things.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
You're not the one who's physically going through
the anxiety, you're not the onephysically going through the
stress, you're not the one whophysically has to deal with the
actual physical side effects.
And if she knows that birthcontrol is something that is
beneficial to her body.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
You can get pregnant on birth control too.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Yes, you can, but if she knows that, if birth control
in the past is something thathas physically helped her to be
at, you know, a steady baseline,then yes, I want to respect
your opinion about it.
But at the end of the day,again, you're not the one who
has to go through all thesethings.
I, physically, I physicallyhave to go through all these
(46:13):
things.
So instead of making this adebate about me being
disrespectful because I disagreewith how you think I should
manage my body, you could alsojust be supportive and also tell
me, like, babe, I don't thinkit's a good idea.
However, if you feel like thisis something that can help you
and that's going to help youmanage your stress, your anxiety
or whatever, then I can, I can,be in support of that.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
OK, you're taking the whole putting me over you angle
, got you?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
The putting me over you angle.
What is that?
I don't understand.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
No, I genuinely don't .
Even if you don't like who Ibecome, support me.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
It's not who I become a babe, you okay, you're just
thinking about.
You're thinking about thingslike in a vacuum.
If, okay, listen, if, if, if,if she had cancer, right, and
they were, let's say they liveda strictly organic, vegan life
or whatever but then she hadcancer and she needed to take
chemotherapy and he comes up toher and say I really don't think
(47:08):
you should be putting thatpoison in your body because
listen dramatic it's dramaticokay, but it's dramatic, so that
I, so that you can understand.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
Okay, right, right.
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Would you sit there and tell her to not take
something that could potentiallybe life-saving or that could
help her manage her life betterwhile she goes through this, or
would you still stick to yourguns and be like you're being
disrespectful and dismissive ofwhat I want you to do with your
body?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Of course I would tell you to get the chemo.
I want you around.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Okay, so if she's telling you that taking birth
control could help her, whetherit be mentally, physically.
However, because you also wantto keep your wife what, what's
what?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
There's no issue.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
I'm just saying like.
I'm just saying it's not.
It's like like she's saying Ilisten to you, I hear what
you're saying.
It's like the same thing whenwe have to make major decisions,
how you come to me and be likeI hear what you're saying.
However, this is the decisionI'm gonna make.
It is the same thing.
You've done it multiple timesand it's like do I really feel
heard and considered?
Speaker 1 (48:15):
you should.
Oh okay, so then he should too.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
Right, I never say he didn't okay, but then you're
talking about, oh, you're doingthe whole choosing me over, like
that's what you were doing,like, no, like, stop it.
You're stop it, stop it anywaywe can't even have a stop it
anyway, like I said, oh lord theconversation can be had.
You take into consideration whathe says, but at the end of the
(48:38):
day, you are the one who has tophysically go back to the.
Physically, I have to live inthis body.
I have to walk around with thisbody every day.
I have to sit in whatever thisbody is doing Me.
Me.
When I'm feeling stressed out,when I feel like I'm about to,
like, go over a cliff, guesswhat.
(48:59):
You can sit right there oryou're going to be at work, but
I'm still going to be sittinghere, feeling like I'm about to
fall over a damn cliff.
But knowing that if I had takenwhat I feel like would help me
to not feel this way.
But you would rather for me tobe sitting there anxious,
stressed out and everything else, just because you don't want me
to take, take some, say, takesome medicine.
So I'm gonna sit here anxiousand stressed out and everything
else, just because you don'twant me to take some medicine.
So I'm going to sit hereanxious and stressed out and you
(49:20):
don't think that's going toaffect her attitude.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Everything affects a woman's attitude.
That's wild.
That's wild.
The sun was at 45 degreesinstead of 50 today.
That's wild.
Speaker 2 (49:35):
Attitude adjustment Anywho who really needs the
attitude adjustment.
Stop thinking you can controleverything.
You don't want mad radio.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
I'm not mad, I'm just saying you need to understand.
Look at you, look at you, playit yourself don't piss me off.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Please don't piss me off.
Ha ha cause you're like you'relike you're like seriously, two
words away from just likeruining my day.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Don't do that what two words are those.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
Don't double down.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Double down.
Is that the words, maurice?
I'm just trying to have a goodtime.
Alright, but let's go.
The comment of the week.
The comment of the week thisweek is brought to you by Jackie
the Traveler, jackie the.
Traveler, that's her name.
I love it.
This is about the reactionabout the, the Tom, the 44 year
(50:23):
old boyfriend of the.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Oh yeah, you got it.
Listen, guys, you have to keepup, OK.
So if you don't know what we'retalking about, head on over to
Instagram or TikTok.
And it's about the daughter whobrought home a boyfriend who's
like 20.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
The same age as her daddy?
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, the same age as her daddy.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
And so Jackie said not old wash up townie.
Now it's funny if you have thewhole context, because
apparently Tom was popular inthe town where she met him.
At that college yeah, thedouble entendre of townie and
Tommy.
I thought was hilarious tommy,you mean tom?
Tom townie I can't, so yeah, Ican't.
(51:05):
That's the comment of the week.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
That was.
That was funny.
That was funny.
That was a good one.
All right, guys, this has beenanother episode of the life
after I do podcast an r2 senseepisode.
If you're not doing so already,we would encourage you, highly,
highly encourage you to go andfollow us on our social media
platforms and TikTok andInstagram Facebook.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
YouTube, all that.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
You know, you can watch the full episodes every
single week on YouTube and youget the fun clips on Instagram
and TikTok and Facebook andYouTube sometimes, yeah, but if
you're not doing so already, goahead and follow us on all of
our social media platforms toall of our new followers and
subscribers.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
We appreciate y'all we appreciate you guys.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
Thank you so much for the support.
Thank you so much for the kindwords.
Thank you so much for themessages you guys are starting
to message.
We really appreciate that.
We're grateful.
Congratulations to us forhitting 10,000 downloads.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
Congratulations to us .
Congratulations to me, becausewe know that you guys come here,
okay, week after week, toreally hear what I can't with
him, molito has to say Anyways.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
But yes, thank you for rocking with us for this,
what's been a year and a half,two years, something like that,
for 101 episodes.
We really do appreciate youguys.
So until next week.
You already know the drill andwe appreciate.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
we got our fan mail this week from the lovely lady
in South Carolina.
I don't remember your name offthe top, but we will appreciate
you.
There is no way for me torespond so I just have to shout
you out here.
I'm going to get your name andshout you out there next episode
.
My bad, I dropped the ball.
I'll take credit for thisdropping the ball when it's
really.
She's supposed to be called thebaby.
Okay, anyways, I just come inhere and raw dog these things.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Anywho.
Speaker 1 (52:53):
I live my life raw.
I live my life raw.
Speaker 2 (52:55):
I gotta cook for a kid, so until next week guys A
kid, not her husband To nextweek.
Speaker 1 (53:00):
We love y'all.
Peace booskies.
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