The Ego Effect

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
both parties need to be validated.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, it's about mutual uplifting.
Exactly that's what it'shealthy ego, the foundation of
leadership and love andprotection, and that should work
for both men and women, for youand your partner.
It's not just one or the otherbut, like I said, I think for, I
think for me, from myperspective.
The ego thing where I say thatit has a bigger role on your

(00:26):
side than it does my side isbecause I can see sometimes the
emotional aspect that getsrolled up into ego for men
versus women.
Hey, everybody, and welcomeback to another episode of Life

(01:00):
After I Do.
How y'all find people doing outthere today.
How y'all doing, how y'alldoing, I'm trying Dr Now I'm
trying.
Leave her alone, I'm trying.
I think I have found her onTikTok too.
I came across one of her videoson TikTok.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
All I know is that.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
What was her name?

Speaker 1 (01:24):
again, the lie detector has determined she did
not try.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
She did try, it was hard.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
We do not care.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
That's not true.
Have you ever been 600 pounds?

Speaker 1 (01:35):
No, I felt 600 pounds .

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, not the same.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
I've been halfway there though.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
No, you weren't.
Yeah, I was halfway there.
Babe, you were never 300 pounds.
Okay, you weren't 300 pounds.
Stop trying to make something.
Your struggle and it wasn'tyour struggle.
The 300 pound gang was not yourstruggle, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
The 280s.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
290s was your struggle, but not the 3s.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
It never said 300, but it said, it said 290
something it said 298.
That's damn near 300.
Demille.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
The male you ain't never got on no scale.
That said 298.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
I will show you the record.
I will show you the record.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
You have to show me because how was your week?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Because I see, I see where this is going.
Some of us is feeling better.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
What.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Some of us is doing great.
Oh, some of us is feelingbetter what Some of us is doing
great.
Oh, some of us is doing great.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Talk about it, Bishop .
Speak on it.
You know what my jewels Speakon it?
Tell me, tell me about yourweek.
I want to hear about this.
It was a week.
It was a week, yeah, okay, tellme about it.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know, I'm um.
You cannot sound so damn somberyou know, I've just been a lot
of thinking and processing as Iapproached 39, oh my gosh.
You know, thinking about someof the decisions I made and I I
probably should have put alittle more thought in some
things and probably a littleless thought in others.

(03:04):
Yeah, it's a balance you knowit's a part of growing.
Yeah, it's just.
I'm not going to say that I'mnot happy where I'm at.
I'm just going to say that Ialways have a longing for more.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Listen as a human, that's never going to end as a
human that's never going to end.
Even when you get what youthink you want, you still going
to be like damn.
But I could do it a little bitmore, a little bit more.
How was your week, though it?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
was busy.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Yeah, a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
So much stuff that you can't even talk about it,
right?
A lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
I mean anniversary.
Kid went to state.
A lot of money spent,transmission went out.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Life, life was life, life was life.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
I went to therapy and didn't even have an appointment
.
That's how much, that's howtired I've been.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Had to pay for gymnastics camp, and then the
transmission went out rightdiabolical crazy work diabolical
crazy work.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
You ever had to text your therapist.
Hey, we gotta, we got a sessiontoday.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Are you trying to?
Are you trying to manipulateher into?
Because I was like I'm waitingon the books?
And she was like you're not onthe books today, sir.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
She was like you're not on the books today, sir, she
was like no, that's next Friday.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
I said damn my bad, I wouldn't be upset if we kind of
pushed it up.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
But I mean because I had already told her.
I said, life is lifin'.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Okay, so if you could throw an extra bone, if you got
any motivation to send this way.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
I take it because I was sending you motivation.
Don't be acting like I'mchopped liver over here.
First of all, like we discussedearlier, your ratio to ego
stroking you will literally shiton me all day oh my gosh, I do
not shit on you.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
All day you come for me and then, when I defend
myself, you want to act like awounded puppy okay, see not the
same thing.
Now I'm a puppy.
I just said you were a puppy.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
I said you want to act like you're a wounded puppy
when I defend myself contrary topopular belief, all I ever do
around here is try to make gooddecisions for my family.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
He's so perfect?
I'm not perfect, he's soperfect, lord knows.
I'm not he, just he.
He don't take no l's.
He don't do no wrong.
I don't take no l's.
I took four this week.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
He don't do no wrong I took four l's this week.
Hold on.
Not only that, and then Ialmost crushed myself with a
dumbbell today in the gym well,that was your own fault yeah, no
, it was his left shoulder itwas acting up.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
damn, it's always a left shoulder.
Yeah, it's always a left, washis left shoulder.
It was acting up?
Damn, it's always a leftshoulder yeah.
It's always a left shoulder,it's my left one too.
Yeah, was your right oneperforming, and then your left
one was like hmm, well, here'sthe thing.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Like I said, it's my left shoulder on pressing
movements.
Yes, it's my right shoulder onraises.
Really, yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Huh, are your elbows flared when you're doing
pressing movements?

Speaker 1 (06:07):
No, maybe you need to flare them.
Maybe you need to be theopposite.
Okay, you're not my trainer, so, yeah, I took it on in Do you
see what I mean.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
I'm trying to be a helpful mate, I'm offering
advice, and then what does he do?
He turns me down.
He gets dismissive Right, soDismissive right.
So what am I supposed to dowith that?
I'm not being dismissive.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
What am I?

Speaker 2 (06:23):
supposed to do?
I just offered you advice, andwhat was your response to my
advice?
You basically said just shutthe fuck up.
That's not what I said.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's literally what you said.
First of all, she wasreferencing something she was
telling me earlier, right?

Speaker 2 (06:40):
So I was offering you I listened to her.
Boom, you didn't.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
So, anyway, if she knew anything, she would know
that, see, see, and this is whatI mean.
Can I finish my statement?

Speaker 2 (06:52):
No, no, you can't finish your statement.

Speaker 1 (06:53):
See, this is what I mean.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
If she knew anything.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
She would have known that I tried the lift flaring my
arms before and that was notcomfortable.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
If that was true, then that could have been his
response.
His response could have been ohyeah, I actually tried it that
way too, and I still get thesame Two things can be true at
the same time no no, you seewhat I mean, guys.
How was?

Speaker 1 (07:13):
your way, do you see?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
what I mean.
He's being a butthole.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
And then when I turn on that same butthole energy,
then he wants to run and, likeyou know, behave like a I really
, I really thought this wasgonna be a good episode because
you can't not hear and I waslike, oh, that lip is giving.
But I see now that, because youyou looking real poetic justice

(07:37):
s today.
Oh, thank you.
You know you got your hat onwith your break.
I mean, they're not the braidsjanet had no, they're not the
braids.
You got your dark, you got yourdark lip, I'll mean they're not
the braids that Janet had.
No, they're not the braids thatJanet, had you got your dark
lip.
I see where she was going.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Thanks, I actually just ran out of edge control, so
I thought Throw the hat on.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
Throw the hat on because, because I was going to
ask you to keep that on and giveme a I Get so Lonely lap dance
after this.
I get so lonely, it's not goingto happen.
She say that it's not going tohappen.
What you won't do, what Anotherheffa wood.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Oh, really Go find her.
Maybe she'll give us both one.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
I ain't got the time to look.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
It ain't that hard.
You have a cell phone, get onInstagram.
I'm sure we can find a localhoe.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
My cell phone has been busy.
Did you hear me?
Yeah, I heard you.
I'm sure we can find a localhome.
I mean, if you want Figueroatrees, there's a lot of them.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
I know, but I mean there's like right at your
fingertips.
It's not just.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Figueroa, it's Long Beach Boulevard.
Damn, I think I got a problem,huh, because I know where they
at.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Wow, tell me what you really be doing on those truck
drives.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
I know.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Mm-hmm.
Why you know all the hot spots?
Eh, because it's hilarious.
It's not hilarious, it's peopletrying to live their lives.
Babe, that could make moremoney than only pens Um.

Speaker 1 (08:51):
I forgot what I was saying.
I know?

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Well, you were trying to tell me about your week
until you got reallydisrespectful.
Yes, yes, yeah, when I wastrying to be a helpful partner
and offer advice, but it's beena long week.
Okay, what were your victoriesthis week?
Let's not harp on suchnegativity.
What were your wins?
That's what I want to know.
What were your wins?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
My win is that, no matter what hit me, I kept
walking forward.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
That's right, that's great.
That's it.
You got a piece of cotton onyour eyelash that's going to
ruin your life in about twoseconds.
Let me get that for you.
What else was your win?
that's it really I can nameother wins for you.
Go ahead and name them.
You got to watch your, your kid, performing her first state
competition.
That was a win.
We started off high.

(09:37):
You were there, we started offhigh.
What you're not gonna do isplay my baby.
You're not gonna play my baby.
She had a great.
She had a great experience shestumbled a little bit but we did
walk away with hardware.
She had a great experience.
We walked away with hardware,okay, so and what else um what
other wins you think I?

(09:57):
got spending time with yourfamily always.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
That's a win for y'all, because y'all with me.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Okay, you see what I mean Moving on, moving on.
I don't have time.
I really do my best to when myhusband is in a negative state
to not let his negativity brushoff on me when I'm trying to
just push positivity and put agood foot forward.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
Look here, I'm not nothing, but just like push
positivity and put a good footforward.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
Look here, okay, I am trying.
But he, when he sees theefforts, his brain doubles down.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Look here, I've done nothing, okay but persevere
uh-huh and hype you up all week.
Every time you send me a video,you in the gym, go, best friend
, that's my best friend everytime the mail.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
I've been hyping you up, but it.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
I tell you you look good all the time.
Mm-hmm, I try to get you tospread them cheeks all the time.
Oh my gosh, I try to providefor you all the time.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Well, good thing, we're talking about your wins
and your weak.
What are your wins?
But if you have nothing else totell us about a highlight of
your week, tell us about yourweek and it just sounds like
your week was just doom andgloom, and it's just like it
wasn't doom and gloom, it waslife.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
It's just like a terrible week to be a man like
first of all, I don't know ifthere's to be a man.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Oh well, a human having a human experience.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Because they're all the same.
It's just more bullshit.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Oh, that's a perspective issue.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Some weeks you get more bullshit than others, but
there's always some type ofbullshit that's a perspective
issue.
I never said my week was bad.
I just said I persevered.
Life was lifin'.
You know I expect to have that.
Yeah, you, you know what I mean.
You know certain things came upthat derailed my plans of what
I wanted to do this week and Ijust made, I tried to make the
best of them.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
That's it.
You made lemonade out of yourlemons.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Did you put sugar in it?
I wouldn't say lemonade.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
What did you make?
I had a lemon drink.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I wouldn't say lemonade, lemon drink.
So does that mean it had nowater or no sugar?
It had water, no sugar, or wasit made with like equal, a
little Splenda.
It's Splenda's good.
Now, if you were to say equal,or what's the other, what's the
pink packet, not Stevia?
That's the green packet, what's?

(12:31):
Uh, oh my gosh.
Oh gosh, sweet and Low is soterrible.
I just don't understand howpeople can use Sweet and Low.
If you use Sweet and Low, Imean God bless you.
God bless you because that'ssome terrible.
You know what.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
I will say this One thing I realized this week is
that what made me kind of feelgood is that my daughter
believes I'm rich.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad
thing.
She believes.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
I said well she.
I said obviously Peter says wehave it.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
So but then when you come up with it, is she wrong?

Speaker 1 (13:13):
That's the problem.
I keep coming up with it.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Is she wrong?
She's not necessarily wrong.
If you keep making it happen,then she'd be like happen Then
she'd be like she'd be likedrops mic.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
And that's the thing I gotta stop making it happen.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Oh Well, that affects you too, sir yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
I will say I did get a couple good nights of sleep
this week.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
You were snoring.
I was so mentally exhausted Ihad nothing else.
I couldn't do nothing else.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
You had nothing else in the tank.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
Huh, that was it, that was it, that was it.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
So you might as well just put it all in dreamland.
Did you have dreams?
Yeah, how often.
I mean, I hear that you dreamevery night, but did you have a
dream that you could remember?

Speaker 1 (13:56):
No, I did not.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah, I just, I had a dream the other night, well,
last last night, yeah, lastnight, and I was only able to
remember the first half of itand I was telling you in the car
.
It was a really weird dream andI think it's because, like, we
have the car in the shop rightnow getting fixed, and so I had
a dream that we had went andlooked at different cars and he

(14:19):
and the car dealership salesmanguy was telling me to get inside
this car, excuse me, just totest drive.
And I was like, was like, oh no, I don't want to test drive
anything, we just got my carfixed, like I love my car, like
we're good, and he was like,just get in it and just see if
you like it.
And I was like, okay, so, um,it was crazy because we were at
a subaru dealership and they hadme get into a hummer.

(14:41):
So I was a little confused.
You were dreaming, yeah andyeah, and the crazy part about
it is is like I don't even likethose cars Cold work the Hummers
.
Or like the Supra, I don't evenlike the cars.
So it was really crazy.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Maybe because I had showed you the EV Hummer.
I was like that was actuallynice.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
No, because I don't like those either.
But in any case, I got in thecar, I started looking around.
I was like, oh, it is like kindof spacious in here.
I was like, but everythingfeels so like closed in, you
know.
And then all of a sudden thecar started moving forward and
directly in front of the car wasmy car and I was waiting for
the Hummer to stop itselfbecause I was like, oh, maybe
this is a demonstration to showme that the brakes will engage

(15:19):
if it gets too close to anothercar or something.
So I didn't bother pushing downon the brake.
And then it slams into the frontof my car Like they go
collision, collide, head to head, and then my car falls back
into this hole, like that's it.
I can't even say that it waslike a ditch in the street, it
was quite literally a hole inthe earth and my car fell, falls
back into this hole in theearth.

(15:40):
And then there is a big rigcoming down the street and I
kept thinking, oh my gosh, thisbig rig, he has to stop, he has
to slow down, because if nothe's going to hit the side of my
car and then my car is justgoing to go all the way down
into the earth.
And then like I'm not going tohave a car anymore, and so he's
coming down the street and Ifront half of his truck goes in,
my car automatically goes in.

(16:07):
And then I just rememberthinking like, oh my gosh, my
car is inside the earth now youwant a new car, so bad no, I
listen.
I have told you time and timeagain I genuinely like my car.
My car has been great to me upuntil this little hiccup that
she's had right now.

(16:27):
But I'm not gonna get on bettywhite like that, because betty
white has been tried and trueokay I, I white is what she
calls her car I have.
I sought out betty white a wholeyear before we bought betty
white.
Okay, I have one.
I've've wanted Betty White andI got Betty White and she's been
good to me.
So I'm going to, you know,remain true to Betty White until

(16:49):
she tells me she is ready toretire and hang it up.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well, she'll be ready to retire in about 2030.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Bye, but anywho, so yeah.
So that was my dream, but withmy week, if you care to hear.
I mean, I know what it was Ihad a good week, yes, sunshine
and rainbows for you always it'snot sunshine and rainbows for
me, always jerk face, see.
See, I said something good andshe called me no, because you're

(17:20):
trying to be passive aggressiveno, I'm trying to be aggressive
.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
No, I I'm trying to aggressively do something else.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Anywho, got to see Baby Girl at State.
That was really fun, was it?
It was fun, it was really fun.
It was a little nerve wracking,but it was fun.
She walked away with somehardware.
We got some good footage.
Oh, that was fun.
She got to see some of herfavorite teammates there because

(17:52):
they all had different days andtimes, so she did get be, was
able to see some of herteammates who had um an earlier
start, so that was really good.
Um, you know.
Got to spend time with thefamily, hit, uh, new prs, okay,
so that was really fun shout outto in leslie land on instagram
yep in les Leslie.
Lynn for showing up with me allweek my fab relative.
And for getting my PR on record, for recording my PR Hold on.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
How do you always get a camera crew?

Speaker 2 (18:14):
I don't always get a camera crew.
I had my camera set up too, butshe got it at a different angle
, so her angle was much betterthan the angle that I was
recording at False, but anywho.
So in case anyone cares to know,I'm going to tell you.
Anyway, my PR was I hit 300 onmy squat.
So there you go, there you go,there you go.

(18:39):
I just want you guys to seethat it's not me.
I just want you to see thatit's not me.
I just want you to see thatit's not me.
And then when I get into thatsame headspace, he can't take it
.
And then he's going to start,he's going to shut down like a
hurt puppy because his feelingsare going to get hurt because
he's over here trying to comefor me.
But do you see?

(18:59):
Do you see?
I try.
I try but a second ago he justtold you about how he been
hyping me up.
But then he turns around and hedoes this.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Don't have me post the text messages.
I will post the text messagesyou can post whatever you want,
okay.
I have been hyping you up, okay.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Okay, post what you want.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Go, best friend, that's my best friend yeah.
He tries to give it, then takesit back.
I throw, I throw jabs, youslide, you cut throats.
Well, I only difference but.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
But the thing is is after 20 plus years.
You should know that.
So if you still voluntarilywalk into the fire, that has
nothing to do with me.
Fire, yeah, what?

Speaker 1 (19:37):
fire.
Yeah, you think you're a fireokay you might be a fuse.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Oh, okay, jamil, I'm going to try to be nice For the
fire.
I'm going to try to be nice,but he is pushing me.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
This is how you told me to behave today.
He is pushing.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
How did I tell you to behave today?

Speaker 1 (20:03):
How exactly, Look guys.
Before every recording, shetells me to behave.
Today he is pushing.
How did I tell you to behavetoday?
How exactly, Look guys.
How are you behaving?
Before every recording, shetells me how to act.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh my gosh, why are you such a favorite teller?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
So this is me, this is the energy she told me to
bring today, and I don't knowwhy she's acting surprised.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
I don't know what is wrong with this man, but my baby
it's because he is tired orsomething.
Look here, I'm always tired.
I don't, don't try to, don'ttry to hold my, don't try to
hold my hand.
You're such a hater too.
I can't.

(20:37):
I don't hate, I can't you're.
You're my biggest supporter andhater at the same time I love
it.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Support you.
I was literally before werecorded.
I was literally on the internetlooking at lifting shoes for
you what I'm hating on you.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Well, I told you which ones I wanted.
No, I don't like those.
I guess it's a good thing.
It's not for your feet.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
I guess it's a good thing.
It's my money.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
It's not.
It's our money, not this one,so I guess I'll just order the
ones that I want with my bankaccount.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Okay, I'm done talking right now.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
See, this is exactly what we were talking about
earlier.
I want some cash.
I be trying to be nice to youand stroke your ego a little bit
, you never stroke my ego.
That is not true.
You never stroke my ego, thatis not true.
I stroke my ego.
That is not true.
I don't.
Name ten times I just did thismorning.
Tell me In the kitchen.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
What'd you say?

Speaker 2 (21:32):
When?
What did you say?
And I had responded oh, youwere like, you were taking your
vitamins.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
That wasn't.
Stroking my ego.
That was just sexual.
He was like, oh, I can take thevitamin D Right now too.
I said I was just talking aboutEagle.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
That was just sexual, he was like, oh, I can take
that right now too.
I said, oh, that was kind ofsexy, but that's not what you
said.
I appreciate that.
That's not what you said.
I appreciate it.
I do stroke your eagle quite abit, okay, okay.
So I'll say this because Ican't.
I don't know your experience.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Now she okay, here we go.
Now she's gonna make it anindividual experience.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
Go ahead listen here, go ahead, listen here go ahead
and woman's playing it.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
I'm not gonna woman's playing anything, I'm just
saying, like for me, I think Istruck your eagle, like quite
often, eagle, your ego eagle.
I didn't say eagle, I said ego.
Oh see, that's what I mean.
Mean, you're constantly comingfor me, and then what am I
supposed to do with that?
Just take it yes, no, no, no,no, no, no, shut up.

(22:36):
Oh, that hurt I mean that kindof takes me into today, which is
, you know, ego like a man's ego, oh, we're talking about oh, my
God E god ego the ego effect.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
So, guys, this is clearly another episode where my
wife wants to tell me somethingabout myself I don't want to
tell you anything about yourselfand she uses hold on I was
talking and she uses therecording as a safe place for
her this is so not true she?
True.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
This came about because we were in the car and
we were watching a video.
I think it was a video onTikTok or something like that.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
I was driving.
I don't know what you'retalking about.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
We were listening together of a video and the
video was basically talkingabout how men, like certain
levels of married married men,will not leave their wives and
stuff or whatever, and thethings that wives do for them
not to leave is like, um, thewives stroke their ego.
And I had.

(23:34):
And I said and his response wasyou don't stroke my ego enough.
And I said I feel like I do,and he was like you don't.
And he was like about you?
What did you tell me?
90, I'm 90 percent no, I saidyou.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
You got a 10 80 10 split.
You stroke my ego 10 percent ofthe time.
You're nice to me the other 10percent of the time and then I
dog on you and you shit on mefor 80% of the time.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
I do not shit on him.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
So when the camera comes on, this is part of the
10% you try to be nice.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
Oh my gosh.
So you want these people tobelieve that I shit on you 80%
of the time Do you not, I do not.
Okay.
Well, let me ask you this whywould you be with someone who
shits on you 80% of the time?
That's crazy work.
I wouldn't, I wouldn't be.
I'm gonna tell you now, I'mgonna put it on the record.
I'm not gonna stay if I feltlike I'm being shitted on 80% of

(24:34):
the time.
Hey, pussy's good, I'm notgonna.
I'm not gonna, I'm just notgonna do it because that's just
crazy work.
You got some.
See, what the mail?
What the mail?
Yes, I'm not putting that onrecord.

(24:55):
What I'm not gonna edit it out?
Yeah, you are.
You can't say that you're mywife.
What I'm not going to edit itout?
Yeah, you are.
No, I'm not.
Yeah, you are.
You can't say that You're mywife.
I can, you can't, I can.
No, you can't.
No, I can't.
You can't tell people that.

Speaker 1 (25:15):
Yes, I do all the time.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You can't tell people that.
Well, they know slow now, youknow, they know so how do I shit
on you 80 of the time?
I want to know because I can't,I can't, I can't correct what I
don't understand or what Idon't know.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
So what do I do?
You always make fun of me okayand not in the playful way okay,
you're mean what do I?

Speaker 2 (25:41):
do?
What do I do?

Speaker 1 (25:42):
first of all, you talk every time I miss,
mispronounce something, youpoint it out, and then you laugh
, but you just did that to me,or did you not realize that?
Oh no, I did.
I did it because you do it tome.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
That's not.
That's not a thing.
It is a thing.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Okay, what else?
That's it ways.
Hey, it's not 80 of the time.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
this is more like no, you already told the people
that you're miserable, so let'sgo ahead and double down on it I
am not miserable you alreadytold.
You already told the peoplethat you're miserable I am not
miserable, so give us the 80 I'mnot why.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Why I?

Speaker 2 (26:15):
shit on you I mean we're not.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
We're being completely honest.
I'm not 80 miserable, nor am I80 happy, uh, but I'm more happy
than miserable.
You, you're a good woman.
Savannah, I'm gonna stick byyou.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
And then he wondered why.
He wonders why his feelings gethurt because my, because my
rebuttals to the shit he triesto say ends up hurting his
feelings.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
And then what he does is he goes he backtracks and
says Babe, you know, I was justjoking.
I was just joking, but youalways go for the jugular.
You do, you do, you do Always.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Because you're trying to pay my life.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Let me be honest by all means.
I think you were being honest Iwas very the reason why I stay
around.
I was very honest about that.
Um, I would if I had to be likein the car.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
I was joking, obviously don't clean it up, if
that's how you truly feel I hadto feel like I would say, you
probably if you had to put anumber on it have you stroked my
ego?

Speaker 1 (27:28):
yes I'll probably give you a quarter percent, like
25 tops that I stroke your egookay because you don't
understand the way I experienceyou.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
I don't understand the way you experience.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
You really don't 80% of the time, what I experience
you, you are like lost inwhatever you're focusing on.
Okay, and a lot of times I'mnot.
I, I personally feel I'm not athought to you.
Okay, until you realize I'vebeen gone for a period of time.
But you don't go Okay, likework and stuff, oh okay.

(28:07):
Or you realize I'm on my wayback home, okay.
Or you think, oh well, I dohave to feed this nigga Like,
let me, let me.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Or when I come to you and say something to you like
you don't really, that doesn'treally make any sense.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Like you don't really be what I any sense because
really be who.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
What I'm saying is that you don't really interact
with me a lot.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
I talk to you and interact with you every single
day and then a few times a weekI really interact with you, so
I'm not sure and those few timesa week is what's keeping us
strong.
This is what you asked for no,it's not what I asked for me to
be uh community see, I had anopportunity right there, I

(28:53):
didn't take it.

Speaker 2 (28:54):
I know you didn't um, but I shit on him 80 of the
time.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
I mean we shit on each other, but like like I was
including the jokingly in thereNow seriously.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
You just said that non-jokingly was 80% that was a
joke.
Okay, okay Well, I don't knowwhat's a joke and what's not a
joke, so I just take it allserious.
Okay Well, so you have to.
You have to.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Okay, I'm going to give you a 60, 40 split there.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
You're going to give me a 60, 40 split Okay.
So, anywho, as far as what aman's ego is, Go ahead, you, a
man, tell us.
I was going to ask you toexplain this, this man's ego.
I was going to ask you toexplain this man's ego what
exactly is the man's ego?

(29:49):
So that we can have a betterunderstanding for us women on
how to stroke it.
First of all, Becauseapparently you guys want more
stroking of the ego.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I don't know one man that's going to turn down
stroking.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Not even a gay one.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
I'm just saying Everybody want to be stroked.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Okay, I mean.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
I'm fine, you sure I'm good, okay, lies.
Ego is kind of like self-worth,okay, confidence, okay.
Pride, okay, certain levels ofmasculinity, okay, you know,
it's not always about arrogance,it's more about like identity,

(30:39):
like how they see themselves.
Right, because I felt like youcan have an ego and still be
humble, okay, you can still besteadfast in yourself and your
beliefs, but then also have theunderstanding that you don't
know everything and you can't doeverything, but you have the
pride and the confidence to knowhow to get things done, or who
to go to to figure out how toget things done.

(31:01):
Okay, I feel like that's likebeing resourceful Right being to
figure out how to get thingsdone.
Okay, I feel like that's Likebeing resourceful Right being
resourceful right.
Okay, as far as like otherthings, like when it comes to
ego, it's kind of like, I thinkfor me personally it's like you
want to feel like Part of yourego wants to feel like you're
appreciated in your spaces,right, you want?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
to feel.
Wanted, not just needed, right.

Speaker 1 (31:25):
Wanted right.
You want to be respected.
You want your family to view youas capable you know, and you
want to not only be viewed ascapable but actually be capable,
right, right.
So I feel like it's not just.
I don't feel like it's always anegative connotation to it,
like there are positive sides ofego.

(31:46):
But that's why they always say,like you have to know when to
let your ego go and when to,because sometimes again I've
said this before there are timeswhere I have to let my ego go
because I cannot allow my ego toput me in a position that will
then jeopardize the standing ofmy family, right, right.

(32:09):
Because if I'm so prideful inthe moment and I act out of
pride for myself, that actioncould have a negative impact on
my family, on my child, on mywife, on our living situation,
right, family, on my child, onmy wife, on our living situation
, right.
So that part like I don't seeego as a thing where it needs to
always be so negative.

(32:31):
Now, don't get me wrong it canbe negative.
With that chip on the shoulder,too much dip on your chip you
can have too much dip on yourchip right.
And an ego can also be somethingthat is very, very fragile,
right, and that's when thefragile ego is, when a man is

(32:54):
lacking in confidence, for,whatever the reason may be,
maybe life's not going the waythey want it to go, maybe
they're stuck in a victimmentality where they're blaming
themselves or they're blamingothers for their situation and
they're not actively pursuingthe improvement of themselves,

(33:14):
right?
So, I mean, ego can be very,very fatuous if left unchecked.
Okay, and I think that's theimportant thing.
It is something that you haveto constantly keep in check.
Okay, and I think that's theimportant thing, like you have,
that, it is something that youhave to constantly keep in check
.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Yeah.
You know, so you don't get toomuch dip on your chip.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Okay.
So, from your perspective as aman, what's the best way that I
guess just you know, what's thebest way that I guess just you
know, you individually can feellike, like me, stroking your ego
, what are the things that makeyou feel good, aside from me

(33:56):
trying to affirm you and, youknow, giving you praise, showing
that you're appreciated,showing that you are wanted,
showing that you're appreciated,showing that you are wanted,
what are, what are some otherways that women can make men
feel more appreciated, or strokethe ego, as they would say,
because I, it's very to me, it'svery simple for me, okay.

(34:16):
I can't speak for all men Right.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
But when you respond to me and my love languages,
when you respond to me and thethings that I perceive as love
and how I want to be loved,which is acts of service, that
is stroking my ego because, thatis showing me that not only do
you see me, you approve of whatI'm doing, and it's damn near
feels like for lack of betterwords a reward.
Okay, Right, so when you dothings for me, especially

(34:40):
without me asking that you,that's important to me, that is
kind of stroking my ego.
Or when it's late and I'm like,hey, babe, can you do this?
And you'll get up and do it,Like that's stroking my ego
Right Now, when you say littlethings like this morning.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
What did I say?
Oh, about the vitamin D thing.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
That's a little bit of stroking the ego Because,
like we man men, we want to feeldesired, we want to feel like
we're not always the aggressoror the pursuer right.
You know we sometimes we wantto feel wanted as well.
That's part of the ego, likebecause you feel when you, when
you, when you have a sense offeeling wanted, you feel more

(35:20):
like you matter to someone yeah,you feel more like you matter
to someone, yeah Right.
And it makes it a little easierfor you to get up and do the
tough things and make the toughdecisions and the tough calls
and go out there and sacrifice,you know, your sleep, your money
, your, your, your wellbeing forthe, for the betterment of your
family.
When you feel, when you feelthat that um, that wanted on

(35:41):
this from your, from that wanteda miss from your, from your
partner, when you feel therespect and the love from your
family, it makes you want to domore for your family because, at
the end of the day, youunderstand that, yeah, I go out
here and bust my behind, but Iam appreciated for it mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
So it makes it a little easier for you to go out
there and get it.
Yes, that's why you put thosenotes in your.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Yeah, used to.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
Lunch pail we.
After a while you startedacting like you just like saw
them and threw them away, so Istopped to do it.
I never do more, so I don'tknow.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
I used to put little notes in his lunch and I used to
be like go get them.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
I did throw them away , but it was, at the end of the
day, it was at on your desk inthe office.
You need a room for new notes,I guess, so okay, so when we
talk about, like from thefemale's perspective, I know,
listen, I know me.
I've said this time and timeagain.
I know what type of tongue Ican have at times.

(36:35):
I know that I can spit hot fireokay you're not a rapper I know
you're no nylon nylon, nylon.
I know that I can spit hot fireokay.
I know that I can also speakjoy and happiness and love and

(36:56):
all of the things right.
So from that perspective I, youknow, I understand when you
talk about pretty much lovingyou and stroking your ego in the
sense of speaking to your lovelanguage.
I feel like for me that's nottoo far off from just kind of my
every day, because a lot ofyour love language is acts of

(37:20):
service and physical touch.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Do you touch me?

Speaker 2 (37:29):
acts of service and physical touch.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Do you touch me?
Yes, I do every single day.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
You don't.
You don't get touched, becauseI'm touching you right now.
I'm touching you right now.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
All right, I'm just asking questions, you answer it
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
You're trying to start stuff, because that's what
you do.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
Look here, you told me to be messy today.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
I did not.
Oh, my gosh Again, I didn'ttell you anything.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
I'm just following directions.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
I don't know where this man gets the things that
comes up in his head, but I getthem.
They just I don't, I don't knowit's, I just go with it half of
the time, um so yeah, so, likeI said, for us, in particular
from my perspective, because Ican only speak from my
perspective um being of serviceto you and being of service to

(38:16):
our family how?
What do you mean?
Being of service to you?
How?

Speaker 1 (38:20):
oh, like what service ?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
being a listening ear for you, um, taking care of you
not just like physically,taking care of you mentally,
trying to help you with yourmental load, trying to carry the
emotional load so that youdon't fall under all of this.
And then, if you want to talkabout, like the physical things
that you always tell me thatmatter a lot to you, too, taking
care, taking care of yourhousehold.

(38:43):
Well, balconies too, yeah,balconies too, that's, that's a
service.
You think I want to be bentover on a balcony all the time?
Yes, you do, you don't, I don't, I don't.
It gets cold.
You don't like the view it'scold, okay.
So then it gives me a slightanxiety that I'm going to end up
on somebody's dark web but myhusband enjoys it.

(39:07):
My husband likes it okay.
So therefore, therefore, I dothe thing he likes it.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Therefore, I do the thing how do people think I got
you just random balconies?

Speaker 2 (39:21):
vacation balconies, but they're great nonetheless,
but it's something that,nonetheless, but it's something
that my husband enjoys, it'ssomething that he enjoys with me
, so, therefore, I oblige.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
We don't gotta have a balcony or I'm not booking it
Bye.
I need to be on at least the20th floor, or higher.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
But yeah, I mean even from like the day-to-day, like
maintaining your household,cooking your meals.
My house man, this is yourhouse.
Well, our house your house.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's our house.
And 20 years from now, when thegrandkids pull up, they're
going to say I'm going to whohouse?
I'm going to grandma's house.
In any case, this is your house.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
In any case, maintaining our household,
taking care of our children,taking care of a child, taking
care of you, okay, taking careof me.
How I literally, I literally,literally.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
We just I just wanted to hear it again no, no,
cooking your meals.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
I mean, how many, how many times did you?
Sporadically, while I,literally I, I had said before
we walked into the door, I waslike man, I am so tired, I just
want to go upstairs and take anap and go to sleep.
He heard all of that and hestill persisted to ask me to
make him something to eat and towhip up his favorite dessert.

(40:39):
And what did I do?
What did I do?

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Don't, don't, give me any, don't give me a sandwich,
Don don't give me a sandwich.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Don't, don't give me any, any shit.
What did I do?
You made daddy a sandwich, andwhat could?
What could I have done?
I could have said you justheard me say that I was tired
and I wanted to go upstairs andtake a nap.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
The only response is make daddy a sandwich.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
But because you are my man, you are my husband and I
know how little things likethat are very important to you I
got my ass in the kitchen and Igot you what you wanted and I
brought it to you while you weresitting there doing absolutely
nothing.
So you had more than enoughenergy and time to come down to
the kitchen and get the shityourself and I still got my
happy ass up and I went to thekitchen, got what you needed,

(41:30):
whipped up what you wanted andstill brought it to you while
you were sitting there enjoyingenjoying your leisure time.
Sir.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
But did you do it with a smile?

Speaker 2 (41:38):
I always do it with a smile Cause when I came
upstairs, what did I say?
I say here you go.
No, I didn't.
I say here you go.
No, I didn't.
I say here you go, babe.
And you said thanks, babe, andI gave you a kiss.
What you're not gonna do isplay my life.
What you're not gonna do isplay my life.
How many times?
Okay, but how many times haveyou in the past, when you used
to get home late, also come andbe like, oh, babe, can you do
this for me, or you, can you dothat for me?

(41:59):
While I was in the bed and Iwas awakened because you walked
into the room and I still got myhappy ass up out the warm bed
after being in REM sleep, camedownstairs and did exactly what
it is you asked me to do,because those are the things
that I know, as your wife, thatmean a lot to you.
Now, does it irritate mesometimes?

(42:20):
Absolutely, but do I still getit done?
Absolutely, because it is alsomy job to take care of you.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Okay, see, I like how you said it's your job to take
care of me, because here's mything those nights where I came
home late and asked you to dosomething, I was out there
taking care of you.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Okay and we take care of each other.
So when I got here, exactly,you get taken care of right
because you went out there andyou took care of me, so it's a
give and take right.
So when you so going back tothat 80, so going back to that

(42:56):
80 of how I shit on him, 80 ofthe time, can we go, but can we
go back to that how I shit onhim?

Speaker 1 (42:59):
80 of the time.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
I said the real number was like 80, 20, I mean,
uh, 60, 40 but I, I shit on him60, see no this is where this is
where we also have debates too,because my husband confutes me
expressing what I believe to betruth, sometimes with uh me

(43:20):
shitting on him okay, hold onit's.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
It's not me shitting on him.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
Okay, Hold on, it's.
It's not me shitting on you.
It's either me expressing apoint or me trying to shed light
on something in a different, ata different angle or a
different perspective, andautomatically he says you're
shitting on me.
No, I do not.
Okay, All right, but anywho.
Back back to back to the topic.

(43:50):
And that I'm about to wrap thisup Back to the topic at hand
that, to me, that's how I Iguess you know, in effect,
stroke your ego right.
So, like I do my best not tobelittle you, not to downplay
you, not to down talk you, youare B, you you are b whether

(44:10):
it's amongst uh ourselves behindclosed doors but especially in
front of people.
You better not down talk me infront of nobody.
I would.
I would never down talk not,not in such a negative,
derogatory way.

Speaker 1 (44:16):
I would never do that look here I would never do that
now I am a kind loving husbandyeah, you are but I was raised
by sugar-free.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Oh gosh, okay, Demel, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
And Don't let me get to it what is that supposed to
mean?

Speaker 2 (44:34):
I don't know, I don't even know.
Like now I feel like you'regetting delusional.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
So let me ask you what are some pros and cons of
stroking a man's ego?

Speaker 2 (44:45):
I think the pros are of stroking a man's ego is
giving him the encouragement tocontinue to do whatever it is he
needs to do, Like building hisemotional security, building his
openness within therelationship, increasing his

(45:07):
affection towards his partner.
You know like reinforcing theemotional connection within the
relationship preventingresentment, all of those could
be pros, Pros.
Let's see some of the cons.
I would say giving you aninflation of self like blowing

(45:30):
your head up an entitlement typething.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
That's my problem that I have with you, because,
see, when I started bigging youup too much, I was like that's
my, that's my problem that Ihave with you Cause, see, when I
started bigging you up too much, I was like, oh shit, now her
head can't fit through the door,but I cause you be walking out
with your little swag and I'mlike, okay, all right, swaggy.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
I like it.
Yeah, I don't get an inflatedhead.
Yes, you do.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
Yes you do.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Okay, so here's the thing.
So, going back, like I said,you don't ever get inflated.
I think you misinterpret mebeing confident in something no.
In me having a big head.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
No.

Speaker 2 (46:15):
So what have I had a big head in?
Tell me, and tell in me havinga big head?
No, so what have I?
What have I had a big head in?
Tell me, and tell me how itdiffers from me just being
confident.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
I wanna know.
I've been telling you you lookgood.
Yes, you lost a lot of weight.
I'm telling you, how strong doyou get?
I'll be confident.
I'll be saying, okay, I seeyour traps.
Yes, I appreciate it.
And the more I tell you you belike around here thinking you.
Ronnie Coleman, uh junior.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
First of all, no one's trying to be Ronnie
Coleman.
Junior Shouts out to RonnieColeman, um.
Second of all, I havediscovered something.
I have discovered a new passionthat I truly enjoy.
And I'm proud of you that Itruly enjoy, and I'm proud of

(47:01):
you and I have been able toachieve things these past few
months that I honestly didn'tthink that I could, and so of
course, it gave me like thisboost of confidence that like OK
, it's still there, girl, likeyou can still achieve goals, you
can still do, you can still dohard things, and so the fact
that you're confuting that withlike just it's building my
confidence to me, having a bighead, like that's just crazy

(47:26):
work.
That's just crazy work.
Like you act like I'm walkingaround here acting like I'm the
strongest woman on earth and I'mreally not.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
We know that right like.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
I looked at the rankings last night and
immediately was humbled.
I was immediately humbled,humbled.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
OK, your head deflated.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
No, I didn't deflate I didn't deflate your head.
No, I did.
My head didn't deflate becauseI can't take.
No, I was never out of realitybecause I already.
I mean the people that I have,you know, my online mentors.
I have, you know, my onlinementors.
They don't know they're mymentors, but my online mentors.

(48:04):
I have seen what those womenare capable of.
So I knew me hitting my, my, mybenchmarks, my PRs, my personal
records.
It was nowhere near to thelevel at which I am trying to
get to.
So, there was.
There was no deflating.
That had to happen because Ialready know.
I already know what is there,what has been done, and I'm
nowhere near it, but to know thefact that I am like at least

(48:27):
50% of the way.
Look here it's pretty dope.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
I'm almost 40.
I'm proud of you, but let'sjust admit, sometimes you got a
little extra dip on your chipokay, I mean ain't nothing wrong
with that, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (48:42):
I just gotta come and bite it, I'll just take, I'll
just whatever.
If you feel like I have alittle extra dip on my chip,
ain't nothing wrong with it.
I like guac.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Look here yeah, you do, and sour cream.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
I like guac.
Look here, I haven't had sourcream in forever.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
I know, but you still like it.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
Look here.
I'm very proud of you.
Thanks, and a lot of times Ilike to see you walk around here
with your confidence.
You know I can tell, especiallywhen your body suits start
fitting better.
Got the girls out at the gym.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
What's left of them anyway.
Okay, we don't talk about that.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Right, it's a sad situation, it's very sad.

Speaker 2 (49:22):
I had a funeral last week.
Bye, maurice.
Anywho, some of the other cons,I'm very, very proud of you.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Thank you I am proud of you.
Thank you, I am proud of you.
Appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
I would say.
Another con is with thatoverinflation of the ego it can
become a new challenge to Humble, humble him, or the challenge
in trying to give constructivecriticism.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
But don't you think a lot of this has to do with you
knowing your partner?

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yes, and yes, yes, I do.
I do agree with that.
But I'm just talking about,like we're just talking about,
like, the cons of stroking aman's ego.
Right, because a man's ego canget big fast and okay, listen,
you said it, pause, um, youdon't over.

(50:24):
Inflating your man's ego canbecome hard to challenge
constructively, right?
Okay, because then you get intoa headspace where it's like
nobody can tell me anything,right?
and because I've hyped you up somuch, you start to feel like
you start feeling yourself andthen if you're, if you're
married to someone like me, I'mreally I can be, I can be

(50:50):
instrumental in humbling but?

Speaker 1 (50:53):
but on the flip side of that, if you're over over
here Stroking my ego into this,you know it can feel like you're
trying to manipulate what I do,like you're trying to put me in
a position to do things that Iwant for my will.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
I mean, I feel like that's what each person kind of
does and I don't want to sayit's a manipulation, it's not a
manipulation, but just like sayit's a manipulation, it's not a
manipulation, but just like howwe discussed earlier, it's like
a give and take right.
Like you, you do things you do.
There are certain things thatyou do to get a uh, a result or

(51:28):
reaction from me that you wantthat benefits.
You explain, like like theother day right when you were
cleaning up the kitchen,straightening up the house, and
I was like and I was like oh,like you right, when you were
cleaning up the kitchen,straightening up the house, and
I was like, oh, like you know, Ilike when you got a little bit
of domestication in you.
But now that I know you try todo those things because you want
to make my load lighter so thatyou can have me later, is that

(51:51):
okay?
So is that not like a First ofall?

Speaker 1 (51:55):
hold on.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I mean, I feel like each party does a little bit of
that, and I think that's okay.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Hold on, because that wasn't true that day.
That day I was really justtrying to be helpful.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Because I knew like there's too much going on.
We hadn't had time for oneanother Because this girl been
on spring break driving us crazyand you've been running around.
I've been running around, wewere dealing with life.
Like, as we said earlier, lifebeen lifing and I was just
trying to help out.
I said, okay, my baby ain't didsome stuff, like I knew.
When I took that chicken out,you probably was like who he

(52:28):
think finna cook this chicken?
And I was like no, very clear.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
I'm not seasoning it either.
Side note, just as a side note,because it just brought it up
and I just I don't know ifanybody else has the same kind
of husband, but when I cook I doall the prep myself.
I do like all the prep right.
So if I took meat out, I'mseasoning my own meat, I'm
cutting up all the vegetables,I'm cleaning up as I go, I'm
throwing away trash everything.
When my husband cooks, for someodd reason or another, he needs

(53:03):
me to do half the meal and thenhe just he's there for the main
show like the main event.
He always need me to chopsomething, he always need me to
season something and I'd be like, babe, if you don't cook, guess
what You're cooking.
So when he took that chickenout, I was like okay, thank you,
you're good.
But I made it very clear I'mnot seasoning the chicken.
Sir, look here before we wrapthis up.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
let me say this I used to do all that.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
I used to do all that .

Speaker 1 (53:32):
But then my wife started, then my wife
transitioned to what did I?
Stay at home, mom, and then Iin the dynamics and the role
change, and so sometimes I justbe forgetting what that's like,
because I'm so used to justbeing a helpmate, you know, I'm
used to just coming infinancially you know you sound

(53:53):
real dumb.
Don't say that you know so no,I mean I come, come in on the
weekend.
I'll come in and do a littlecleaning here or there.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Take the child off her hand for a couple hours or
whatever came.
You see how you say he's doingme a favor Like he.
A babysitter, that is yourchild, sir.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
Shoot.
That's rough.
When I have time I try to helpout, but I have to remember that
, no, you got to do the wholeprocess, but sometimes, honestly
, like I told her before,sometimes I just want her to get
to me.
Just come here.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Yeah, not sometimes, though, it's every single time
you cook.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Okay, I'm sorry that I like you.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
I don't mind being in the kitchen.
I will be in the kitchen, I'llsip on my green juice and
converse with you.
But if I'm going to be therewith you, I don't want to help
cook.
I don't want to dice, slice,cut, put up, put away season,
get down, grab, reach for Idon't want to do any of it.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
I just want to sit there and be company with you.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
You so short, you ain't getting nothing down.
Okay, see, and there you goagain, and there you go again.
So what are there, you?

Speaker 1 (55:00):
go again.
So what can we do to findbalance in the stroke and the
ego?
How can we find balance?

Speaker 2 (55:07):
I think it's important to remember it's a
two-way street.
That is a two-way street andit's not about necessarily
stroking the ego, but it's abouthonoring your man's essence and
presence.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
I think it's clearly where it's the understanding
that we are a partnership, weare a team and that we both need
to feel like we're both beingseen, respected and needed.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Yes, because I also Because.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
I let you know very, very clearly I see you, I see
you.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
Okay, you see me through the lens in which you
have chosen to see me.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
I see, but do you see me through the lens that I?

Speaker 2 (55:55):
need you to see?
Yes, I do you.
Don you see me through the lensthat?

Speaker 1 (55:57):
I need you to see.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
Yes, I do you don't even know what the lens is.
So how do you know?
I haven't even told you whatthe lens is when I got up here.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
It's a perfect example, Like you said, when I
got up and I started cleaningand cooking for you.
I mean in all fairness you, itmay just not for me.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Diabolical.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
That would have started World War III hey it is
what it is, but did yourecognize that I cooked
breakfast after coming home fromthe gym multiple days in a row?

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Yes, yes.
And then you asked me.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
And then I asked you what you wanted?

Speaker 2 (56:30):
No, you asked me if I enjoyed you making breakfast
again, and I said of course.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Like, yes, and then, not only did I cook breakfast, I
cleaned the bathroom myself,then I made dinner, right Cause
I saw that that was somethingthat was stressing you, that you
needed a break from.
I pay attention to youSometimes, yes, all the time.
It's just I don't, I don'treact all the time, but I'm
always paying attention, okay,okay.
So I want you to know that Isee you, okay, I appreciate that
, okay, and it's clear that Irespect you because I ain't

(56:59):
stepped out.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
Wow, that's.
That has nothing to do, like Imean yes it's part of it.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
It's part of it.
Are you giving me permission?
That's a you.
That's a you thing.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Are you giving me permission?
Like I, you would have to putup with.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
That's going to be your karma to put up with.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
not mine, and as far as not mine, sir.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
And as far as needing you I'm very vocal on that
Because we can stop recordingright now On the table- Okay,
that wouldn't happen my child'supstairs.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
But I also think it's really important to not lose
yourself like as a, reallyimportant to not lose yourself
like as a woman, to not loseyourself in trying to big up,
stroke egos for your man, likethat's that I have to.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
I have to make that be known because yeah, it should
be mutual.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
But I do understand, especially being in a marriage,
that ego has a little bit moreof importance as it pertains to
you than it does.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
So your ego is not important?

Speaker 2 (58:03):
Huh, no, my ego is important.
My ego is there.
Everyone has an ego.
But I'm just saying, as far asthe dynamics of the relationship
goes, um, being in, you knowour, our being in a marriage,
being in a long termrelationship and just my
interactions with you, being myhusband and a lot of
interactions that you know thatI've had with men in general a

(58:30):
little bit bigger portion in inbeing, you know something within
men, you know the men's circlethan it does in the women's
circle.
Okay, so that's why I just wantto say like it's really
important as women to not try tolose yourself and trying to big

(58:51):
up your boo, like you can bigup your boo too, but don't lose
yourself in that.
Like my identity is not wrappedup in me, you know.
But in a healthy relationship,marriage or whatever both
parties need to be validatedyeah, it's about mutual
uplifting, exactly that's whatit's healthy ego, the foundation
of leadership and love, um, andprotection, and that should

(59:13):
work for both men and women, foryou and your partner.
It's not just one or the otherbut, like I said, I think for I
think for me, from myperspective.
The ego thing where I say thatit has a bigger role on your
side than it does my side, isbecause I can see sometimes the

(59:35):
emotional aspect that getsrolled up into ego.
For men, then, versus women,does that make sense?
Like the really no, theemotional aspect of it, you know
, okay, so that's why that's,that's why that's why I say that

(59:57):
, cause I feel like, when itcomes to processing things like,
for instance, how you said,your week has been right, you,
you, and rightfully so.
There's nothing wrong with it.
But I'm just saying the waythat you allow things to affect
you, to affect you, how did Ikept it pushing all week?
Yeah, you kept it, you keep itpushing, but it's not like you

(01:00:18):
can, it's not like you can keepit pushing in a sense where we
can't feel it.
If that makes sense, you're keep, you're keeping it pushing, but
I'm feeling all of it, I'mabsorbing all, all of the energy
that that's creating.
I'm absorbing all of the energythat, all of what you're
perceiving to be negative inyour life or what you're

(01:00:38):
perceiving to be a hard time foryou.
I'm absorbing all of thatenergy from the traffic making
you short tempered, to youhaving outbursts, to you
shutting down, to you going intoyour hidey hole to try to
figure life out.
I'm absorbing all of that.
So it's not like you're goingthrough it and you're like, ok,
yeah, I'm gonna push through itand you're changing your

(01:00:58):
perspective about it.
The things that you are allowingto affect you also affect the
way in which you move sometimes,and the person that's absorbing
that is me.
Okay, so then now for me in myhead, when it comes to, like
stroking the ego and stuff likethat, it's whatever it is I'm
dealing with and processing at atime even though it could be

(01:01:19):
the same thing that I'm stressedout about too I now have to,
like put mine in a little box, Ihave to set it aside for a
second and I have to focus onmaking sure that you're going to
be okay mentally andemotionally to get through
whatever it is that's that'shitting you tough this week.
That's what it feels like forme.
Could you say that like?

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
I'm a a threat to hurt myself no, not, I'm not
saying that.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
I'm just talking about the emotional and mental
aspect of it.
So that's what I'm saying.
Like we both could be.
We're both experiencing lifehappening right, okay, and it's
like, yes, even though it's notmy responsibility or you know,
know, in a technical sense, tofigure out how the car is going
to get fixed, I see how you're,you're going upstairs and you're
doing your calculations andyou're like, okay, well, I got

(01:02:06):
it here, I can do it here, andI'm still, I'm still absorbing
that, okay, he is getting alittle stressed.
It's a little stressful for metoo, but I'm going to box mine
up, I'm going to put mine to theside and I'm going to try to be
here for him as much as I can,emotionally and mentally, and
make sure that I'm not trying tocause any additional stress,
make sure that I'm trying tomake his life a little bit more

(01:02:26):
manageable, a little bit moreeasier.
So, if that means, like cookingyour favorite meal, if that
means, when you asked me to dosomething, not questioning you
about it, if that means mecoming to give you, if that
means me coming to give you ahug and giving you a kiss and
telling you like babe, it's cool.
Like you know, everythingalways works out.
I don't want you sitting herestressing like, whatever it is,

(01:02:48):
that's what I have to do inorder to make sure you are good.
Do you know what I mean?
So, that's that's what I meanby like.
Okay, you know, that's where itplays a little bit of a bigger
role in the male's life than Ithink it does the female's life,
because it's the the emotionalabsorption aspect of it.

(01:03:09):
That's a fair assumption, okay,um, but yeah, I mean, long
story short, it should work thatway for both parties, because
that's one of the benefits ofbeing married and one of the
benefits of being in arelationship is to have a person
Like.
If you feel like you have no oneelse, you have a person.
You have someone you can dependon.

(01:03:30):
You have someone you can bevulnerable with.
You have someone who's alwaysgoing to tell you like hey, you,
it didn't happen today, itdidn't happen today, you were
not.
Who's always going to tell youlike, hey, you, it didn't happen
today, it didn't happen today,you were not on your a game.
You, quite frankly, sucked.
But there's always tomorrow andif you get tomorrow, you get
another chance to try again.
But what about your friends?
Are they going to stand theirground?

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
Are they going to be around?

Speaker 2 (01:03:53):
In the end, Shut up babe.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
You don't like me.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
No, I do love you, but anywho, yeah, so.
I'll just you know, I'll try toraise my bar, since it's only
um, since I shit on you 80% ofthe time and I don't strike you
evil enough.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
I said 60%.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Oh, he gave me an additional 20% back.
I'll do better, I'll see.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
Or hear me out.
I could show you what 60%really looks like.
Oh, okay, because I don't thinkhe would like it.
But you know, anywho, let's hopright on into our two cents.
Our two cents, our two cents.
This one's a little bit of along one, oh my gosh, but I
think I really would love tohear what you have to say about

(01:04:44):
it.
Let me sleep, okay.
So here we go.
Am I the asshole for not takingmy ex-wife back after she left
me for an alpha male?
Nope, okay.
I had been with my ex for sevenyears, married for five.
It felt like love at firstsight and everything felt so
natural when we first met.
After about two years of dating, we decided to tie the knot Not

(01:05:08):
soon after we welcomed our babyboy.
He was a pandemic baby, so mywife ended up quitting her job
while I continued working as aline cook and started doing Uber
Eats on the side.
After things went back to normal, my wife told me that she
doesn't want to be one of thosewomen who lose their passion
after settling down.
So she went back to finish lawschool and take the bar.
Of course, I wholeheartedlysupported her and we tried to

(01:05:29):
make it work.
After she passed the bar, sheimmediately got hired at a firm
downtown through the help of herfriend Dumbo.
Oh, I guess we don't like thefriend.
This is where the problemstarted.
From the get go, my wife beganmaking good money, good enough
that she told me to quit my joband to stay home and take care
of our kid full time, as shewon't have time to.

(01:05:51):
I said no.
I loved my job.
Cooking was my passion and Ieven worked my way up to
full-time fledged chef.
My biggest regret in ourmarriage had to have been her
taking me, her talking me intoleaving.
But I did and I became astay-at-home dad.
Slowly our marriage life begandeteriorating as she started to

(01:06:11):
pull away.
She worked long hours andbarely spent any time with my
son pull away.
She worked long hours andbarely spent any time with my
son and myself.
She'd go out drinking tonetwork with her work colleagues
on the weekends, sometimes evengoing out of town At home.
She was always just pissy withme.
It's like her personality did acomplete 180.
This wasn't the sweet,nurturing girl I had fell in
love with.
All those years ago, ourintimacy became almost

(01:06:33):
non-existent.
After going through therapy, Ican now see that I am to blame
as well.
I should have communicatedbetter and shared how I felt.
Luckily, the highlight throughthis was my son.
Seeing him grow and being therefor a lot of his firsts made
everything feel like it wasgoing to be okay.
One day she finally came up tome and asked for a divorce.
I wasn't totally surprised.

(01:06:54):
I felt everything waseventually going to lead up to
this, but I still didn't want togive up.
I asked if she was sure aboutthis and if that's what she
wanted to do, or did she want totry to make it work?
I recommended couplescounseling or temporary
separation.
She declined both and told methat she had found someone else.
Hearing this shattered me, herchanging and us growing apart.

(01:07:14):
I can understand, but neveronce would I have thought that
she would have been the type toeven entertain another man.
She told me.
It's some partner at her firm.
Ha ha ha.
When did my life become a Koreanrom-com?
She told me that he invited herout a couple of times and
showed her the quote unquoteluxury of life that she deserves

(01:07:35):
.
We argued for a bit and shetold me that he is twice the man
as me.
She called me feminine forbeing a stay at home dad while
his wife was working hard andbeing home while he made the
money.
What it was your idea?
And what about me working twojobs during the pandemic?
To her, those were not realjobs.
I was just a delivery truckdriver and a cook.

(01:07:57):
Wow, she told me.
This new guy is an alpha malewho knows a woman's needs and
how to take care of her.
She bragged about how tall andmuscular he is, that he has a
real job and took her on weekendgetaways that she told me were
work related.
And here's the kicker he's sucha man he doesn't want to make
things official with her untilher and I are separated.

(01:08:20):
I almost laughed at howdelusional that she had become.
I asked her what about our son?
And she said that I could havehim, like he likes me anyway.
I think that hurt the most.
I couldn't believe that shethought about her own son that
way, throwing him away like someobject.
For the first time I couldn'trecognize the person in front of
me.
I won't lie.
I did let the anger get thebest of me and set some hurtful

(01:08:41):
things back.
I could tell that she was takenback by this, probably because
I almost never get angry.
She just turned around and left.
After she left, I cried my eyesout for two weeks, hoping that
she'd call and come back.
I don't know.
I didn't love her anymore, butlife without her felt so scary.
The only thing that kept megoing was my son.
I knew I couldn't turn to thebottle or go down that dark path

(01:09:02):
.
Because of him, I managed tobeg for my job back and they
rehired me for some weekendsonly, which was better than
nothing.
I spent the next months justputting my head down and working
in silence.
The divorce proceedings weremoving quickly and before I knew
it, it was official.
The worst part about this was Ifelt like I had no support
system.
On social media, everyone waspraising her for being this

(01:09:26):
strong, independent woman whobroke free of some metaphoric
shackle like I was some villainholding her back, and not a
single person messaged me on howI was doing, and thank God they
didn't, because this is whatmade me want to go to therapy in
the first place, and I haven'tlooked back since.
For all those that are unsureabout therapy, I'm telling you
it works.
Now, fast forward to this week,I received a phone call from an

(01:09:47):
unknown number and when I pickedit up, it was my ex on the
other line, bawling her eyes out.
She told me she told me how heralpha male boyfriend found
someone else and she's tooafraid to confront him because
he's a partner at her firm.
She finally explained herperspective and how everything
led up to this point.
Basically, my ex has admittedlyalways been really pretty and a

(01:10:10):
social butterfly.
After she had our son and thepandemic hit, she felt very ugly
and insecure, even if I toldher that she was pretty.
So I guess when she got the job, she got the validation that
she wanted.
Of course, feeding into thedelusion was Dumbo, who recently
had divorced her husband andwho had recently divorced and

(01:10:30):
poisoned my wife's thoughts withhow I'm a failure as a man, how
my ex is way prettier than me,how my ex is way prettier than
me and she deserves someone toher standards.
Apparently, I'm a beta male whorolls over and is stopping her
from being free.
She said a lot more specificstuff too that I think I'll just
keep to myself, but it wasdefinitely an eye-opening

(01:10:53):
conversation.
I shouldn't have pushed my exaway to be vulnerable enough to
listen to Dumbo, but still,after hearing all of this, I was
really just as disappointed,more than anything, that she
would be so stupid enough tothrow everything that we've
built away on a whim throughpeer pressure.
My ex asked me if we could tryagain.

(01:11:14):
She told me how much she missesme and how she took me and our
son for granted.
For example, I always made herlunch in the morning, made sure
she was up to date with herpills and so on and so forth.
She misses those little things.
I admit to telling her that Imissed her too, and I know our

(01:11:34):
son does for sure.
But she did make every decisionherself.
And what if things worked outwith the other guy?
I'm not gonna.
I'm not a consolation prizethat she can just come running
back to.
She cried and told me that shewanted me back a week after she
had left but was too prideful tocall.
I firmly told her no and I hungup on her.

(01:11:57):
Since then my phone has beenblowing up off the hook with
friends and family telling methat I'm heartless, that my wife
was vulnerable and that she wastaken advantage of.
And instead of picking up thepieces and helping her, I'm
leaving her out to fend forherself.
That message hurt.
I respect her father a lot, soI heard him out.
He wants me to come over for aresolution intervention this
week and to bring our son.

(01:12:17):
They just want a conversationto hear both sides and see if it
really is resolvable.
I'm attending, but I'm going tostay firm with my answer.
But all of the recent messageshave been making me rethink my
stance.
I just want to make sure thatI'm not in the wrong before I
attend.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 (01:12:36):
Hell, no, no, hell, no.
That was long as shit it was.
He wrote a thesis.
Is he a doctor now?
No, I want to say this this isthe harsh reality of things.
Your ex-wife made herselfappear vulnerable in a public
space and was easily tricked andmanipulated by the other man.

(01:13:01):
He saw her coming to feel, tofeel special.
He saw her coming, so she wasplayed.
She literally put no effort totry to repair what she had with
you and, and even when I wentout, she was cheating on you
while she was with you.
And even when I went out, shewas cheating on you while she
was with you.
She was going.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
she said she had already met someone.
Yep, You're right.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
She already had no respect for you, right, yep?
And so she did all this.
Like you said, she did all thisto herself and in my eyes, you
don't, you don't you don't oweher nothing, you don't owe her a
conversation.
You don't owe her family aconversation, and what you're
saying is like what you'resaying about the Facebook post

(01:13:39):
and how.
Now people are saying thatyou're making it hard for her
because you won't take her back.
That is the harsh reality of aman.
It doesn't matter what a womandoes.
There will be someone out there, or some group of women out
there, to try to to try to makeit seem like what she's done is
not so bad for them to just justmiss everything that she put
you through, like you justsupposed to have the whole

(01:14:00):
situation.
Like you just supposed to haveemotions of steel and not have
no feelings that she can justtake your heart out and step on
it and then just come back andpick it up when she wants to.
Man, fuck her and fuck them anddouble.
She got exactly what she needed.
She got exactly what shedeserved.

Speaker 2 (01:14:16):
It's crazy that she left her son and said that you
can have him.
Like what kind of shit is that?
She literally you can have him,he like you anyway.
She literally said you can havehim.

Speaker 1 (01:14:25):
She gave up her child .
What decent person gives uptheir child for a fantasy?
Now, granted, she probablydidn't think it was a fantasy at
the time, but she, it was afantasy, but she was that
detached from being a motherthat she couldn't even fight for
her son.
No, she got exactly what shedeserved, and the only thing I

(01:14:49):
would say to this is that Iwould have never stayed at home.
I would have still worked.

Speaker 2 (01:14:55):
But that's what he.
That's where he said he feelslike he did mess up.

Speaker 1 (01:15:03):
I would.
I would have still workedregardless, because the
transitioning to being singlewould have been a lot easier,
right, but I feel like even ifhe would have stayed uh, even if
he wouldn't have stayed homeand stayed work, this still
would have happened.
Because what happened was isthat you probably worked while
she you worked while shefinished school.
You probably helped.
You probably helped her finishschool.

Speaker 2 (01:15:20):
He had to work while she was in school.

Speaker 1 (01:15:22):
Right To to provide, but once, but once she got what
she, once she got her law degreeand all that stuff.
She was oblivious to all thesacrifices you made for her to
get to that point.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
Well, yeah, because now she sees herself in this
light that you don't measure upto.
So now, and then you havesomebody in her ear talking
about you're here and you meanto tell me you're married to
somebody who's here and oh, he'sa stay-at-home dad.
That's a thing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:46):
Yeah, I just.
I had a teacher tell me this along time ago and it always
sticks with me and he told methat to always be mindful of the
people you pass by climbing up.
Oh yeah, Because those samepeople you just might pass when
you fall down.
Now this heifer done passed youand now she done fell back down

(01:16:08):
.
Now she's crying for you topick her back up because she's
in shambles.
I wouldn't give her the lightof day.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
I wouldn't go to the sit down Hell.
No, because, especially if youalready know you're going to
stand firm on your answer, standfirm on your answer on the
phone and be like look, therewas at one point I loved you, I
loved what we had, look here.
But those feelings are nolonger there.
Boo.

Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
I would tell her mother, her father, her brother,
her sister I don't care heraunt's cousins that she's a
shitty human being and shedeserves everything she got.
Not a shitty human being, she'sshitty.
And if you keep talking to melike that, you're not going to
see your nephew or your grandson.
Keep playing with me.
We don't want to do that.
Keep playing with me, keepplaying with me.
Oh no, oh no, but you're notthe asshole, sir no.

Speaker 2 (01:16:52):
I can't say that you are.
You're not the asshole, sir.
Fuck her and fuck that job too.
And don't forget to say F Dumbo, oh no.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
No, dumbo played his part Well yeah, he did what he
was supposed to do.
In this scenario, Dumbo was aliberator For the husband.
Yeah, he saved him of years ofpain Sometimes saved him of
years of years of pain sometimes.

(01:17:21):
Sometimes the loss ain't lostis a blessing right it is, and I
know like bars shut up.
No, if y'all know the song,y'all know the song um, he and
his son have built a life.

Speaker 2 (01:17:29):
Yeah, you don't need her.
Yeah, like, literally, likewe've built a life that doesn't
have you in it.
So therefore, we're comfortable, we're good.
But if you want to see him,like that's still your son, I'll
let you see him, but that's it,like I'm.
I'm not for keeping parentsaway from their children unless
it's a safety issue, but if shewants to see him, I'd be like

(01:17:54):
that type of character that'shis mom.
Still, you can't change whoyour parents are terrible,
terrible character.

Speaker 1 (01:17:59):
Yeah, I suppose you want one more, I mean we got
time.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
Let's see, let the tape run okay, am I the asshole
for telling an elder woman toget the fuck on after holding up
the only open line?
Earlier today I stopped at agrocery store while out running
errands, there was only onecashier open, for whatever
reason, so the line was long.
The woman who had to be in her60s or 70 in front of me was

(01:18:24):
talking to the young cashier whowas about 18 or 21.
She was talking her ear offabout her son-in-law her
daughter's husband After she hadalready been rung up with a
receipt in hand.
Apparently, her sister-in-lawis a deadbeat, covert narcissist
or something I could tell.
The cashier was too nice to cutthe woman off and she just kept
glancing at me, giving me thelook, the.
I'm so sorry, look, look.

(01:18:46):
I love making small talk myself, but this conversation had gone
over a minute with like sixpeople behind me in the line.
I heard a woman behind mequietly under her breath say oh,
my goodness, lady, let's go.
So clearly I wasn't the onlyone who was getting irritated.
After about two minutes or sothat had passed, I calmly say
excuse me, ma'am, I have to besomewhere soon.

(01:19:07):
She looks at me with a coldface, wags her finger and says
um, no, you can wait.
The finger wagging honestly setme off and I raised my voice
saying get the fuck on, lady.
You're not the only one in thefucking store, you're holding
everyone up.
It got pretty quiet after thatand the security guard walked

(01:19:28):
over to me and says sir, pleasecalm down.
Ma'am, please be aware thatyou're not the only shopper in
line.
The lady finally walked offcursing, but I didn't catch what
she said.
Now, for some reason, hourslater, I'm sitting here at my
work desk feeling like a jerk.
Did I go too far by raising myvoice at an elderly woman?
Personally, I just feel likeit's rude to not be considerate
of other people in line who wereshopping.

(01:19:49):
You don't know what kind ofschedule someone's on and I feel
it's best to not hold thelineup or at least step away If
you want to continue a longconversation.
Am I the asshole?
Yes and no.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
I'm 50-50 on this.

Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Yes, yes and no, you're the asshole for using
profane language at an elderlyperson.
We still must respect ourelders and we all know that as
elderly people get up in age,some of them have the attitude
that they they really don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
they have a very fucking attitude it's like the
meme I can't wait till I retireso I can get up early and make
everybody else leave for work.

Speaker 2 (01:20:22):
Exactly because I got , I don't really care, because
all I have is time and that'spretty much how she was
operating.
She was like y'all just gonnahave to wait here because,
honestly, I think a lot ofpeople just like elderly people
don't?
Um, they know that some peoplewon't suspect them of being
thieves, but there's a lot ofelderly people who steal because
they're elderly and they seemunassuming.

(01:20:44):
So she was also probablythinking like yeah, she knows
that there's a line, but ain'tnobody gonna say nothing to me
because I'm old, yeah like.

Speaker 1 (01:20:50):
but see, here's the thing, and that's why I say he's
not, because you do have thosepeople.

Speaker 2 (01:20:54):
You do have those elderly people, they know it.

Speaker 1 (01:20:57):
You have like hold on .
God bless his heart.

Speaker 2 (01:20:59):
They know it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
There is a.
There's an elderly black manthat goes to the Starbucks I go
to and I always try to get inthere before he do, because I
know if I'm behind him it's over, even though the girls are
trying to rush him along.
This is his day.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
It's his morning routine.

Speaker 1 (01:21:19):
He going to keep going there?
He ordered his same drink.
They didn't even ask him whathe want.

Speaker 2 (01:21:24):
They just start getting ready.

Speaker 1 (01:21:25):
They just start getting ready, Like how they get
ours ready.
They just be like hey guys, andit's already getting started
and he sit there and he'd have aconversation, they'd catch up.

Speaker 2 (01:21:32):
And I'm like sir, Some of us have somewhere to be.

Speaker 1 (01:21:35):
I'm not retired yet I have a job I gotta get to Now.
I don't cuss at him becausehe's black.

Speaker 2 (01:21:43):
Oh wow, I don't cuss at him because he's black.

Speaker 1 (01:21:47):
Who says and low key?
He reminds me of my grandfather.
So, I actually kind of liketalking to him but some days he
just look here I don't even knowhis name some days he just sir,
and the thing is, he waved atme every day.
He waved at me today how youdoing, let me get here for you,
let me get in for you.
Look, when I see here's thefunny part when I pull up and I

(01:22:08):
see that blue equinox, I saiddamn he's here damn it, he's
already here.
Damn it, he's already here.
He already beat you to it.
My only thing, my only, my onlyuh, uh fortune is that he moved
hella slow.
I once seen a snail I'll runhim bye, marise.

Speaker 2 (01:22:28):
He's old, stop it.
And that's probably his likethat's his outing that's his
outing, because, like when mygranny, when my granny got to,
like her late 80s.
Let me say this, that's, shelooked forward to her doctor's
appointments because herdoctor's appointments like when
we when we would come downbecause I would go with my mom
to take her to her doctor'sappointments and we would make a
date of the doctor'sappointment.
So that's what my granny shelooked.

(01:22:49):
I knew she looked forward to itbecause we always did lunch and
then she always wanted to go toPenny's to see if Penny's had
curtains on sale or she alwaysneeded a new comforter.
I'm like, granny, you don'tneed a new comforter, you just
bought a new comforter.
But then I started to realizethat's my granny's outings.
Like that was her thing, likeI'm going to go to my doctor's
appointment.

(01:23:09):
I know I'm going to see mydaughter.
I'm going to go to my doctor'sappointment.
I know I'm going to see mydaughter.
I'm going to see mygranddaughter.
We're going to hang out today.
We're going to get something toeat.
I'm going to go to Penny's.

Speaker 1 (01:23:18):
They have their routines.
Let me say this he walks slow,but he don't drive slow.

Speaker 2 (01:23:23):
He don't have to.
That's why.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
He know how to push the pedal to the metal.
He don't drive to me.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
I think you could have just said it a little nicer
.
You could have just said I mean, I know you tried the nice way
because she ended up giving youthe finger.
But you could have just cameback maybe with a little bit
more assertiveness and maybe putyour things up there and then
stood right there like okay, canyou start ringing me up?
Or something.

Speaker 1 (01:23:49):
My thing is also this , the more I think about this.
Like you're saying, thatprobably was the highlight of
her day.
Oh yeah, and then she got tocut them out as she left and
then, and then she was uh, Ithink she was trying to hook the
cashier up with her.
She was.

Speaker 2 (01:24:05):
That's why she was taking so long and that's why he
was like seriously dude, like Igot some, I got somewhere, I
gotta get to work like we gottago and there's nothing.
There's nothing morefrustrating.

Speaker 1 (01:24:16):
I remember when, I it was.

Speaker 2 (01:24:17):
I used to go to Starbucks in the morning before
work, and now, granted, thisvery rarely happened to me
because I always left for worktwo hours beforehand, always
because I like my time, don'topen up, but um, but but on the
rare occasion where I had likejust enough time to get my
coffee and get to work, when Itell you the amount of

(01:24:39):
conversation that happensbetween a barista and a customer
and I'm just like, ok, move italong, like we all have
somewhere to be.
We're all here hella early, sothat must mean we're all on our
way to be somewhere.

Speaker 1 (01:24:54):
So can you wrap it?

Speaker 2 (01:24:55):
up wrap it up.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
They got mobile order now it's not a problem yeah,
until they turn mobile order off.
Yeah so you know what I'm gonnasay you a little bit of asshole
, a little bit, a little bityeah a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:25:07):
It was the, it was the cursing.
For me it's about it's tellinggranny to basically fuck off
it's about six, it's about-40.

Speaker 1 (01:25:13):
Is what did it for me About 60-40.

Speaker 2 (01:25:15):
Okay, here you go with 60-40 again.
Do you just like throwing out60-40 or 80-20 or 60-40.
?

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
Okay, 55-65.
Okay, 55-45.
All right guys Didn't even havethat time.

Speaker 2 (01:25:29):
Thanks for joining us today.
This has been another episodeof the Life After I Do podcast.
If you're not doing so already,you can follow us on all of our
social media platforms At LifeAfter I Do podcast at gmailcom.
Life After I Do podcast.
Facebook, instagram, tiktokOnly Pans.

(01:25:52):
Youtube Only Pans.
Again, I really, really, reallywant to say thank you guys so
much for the growth and supportand the support we are really.
We really appreciate you guys.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
You guys are really contributing to this camp fees.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:26:11):
You guys are really contributing to these camp fees.
But, yes, we just want to sayreally we thank you guys so much
for all of the love and thesupport.
Thank you for all the love andsupport that we're getting on
TikTok.
Thank you for all of therecognition that you guys have
shown us on Instagram.
We truly, truly appreciate it.
If you guys are having done soalready, check us out on YouTube

(01:26:34):
, Instagram, Facebook I mean allof them guys.
Just check us out, Like, comment, share, Tell a friend to tell a
friend, tell an auntie, to tella cousin, a niece, a nephew, a
mama, a daddy, hold on, y'allget messy in the comments now.
The comments are my favorite.
Like the way y'all be runningthese comments.

(01:26:59):
I live for the comment section,like I live for the comment
section in general.
When I'm scrolling and watchingcontent and when I see
something or I hear something, Iimmediately go to the comments.
So I love the comments y'allare.
Y'all are funny as hell andyeah, we just like really love
y'all in a real bad way.
Okay, so continue to show, showsupport.
Okay, be one of the day ones.
Okay, don't be acting like youknow, it's like that when, when

(01:27:22):
we at the higher mountains.
Okay, don't be acting like youknow, it's like that.
Okay, okay, but we love y'allreal bad.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
Until next time.
Until next time, peace booskies, peace booskies.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

The Breakfast Club

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The Ego Effect

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}On Purpose with Jay Shetty

The Breakfast Club

The Joe Rogan Experience

All Episodes

The Ego Effect

On Purpose with Jay Shetty