What Jams My Glock

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How do you speak your truth without cutting too deep? This week on Life After I Do, Kynesha and Morice wade into the messy middle of marriage—where quirks become pet peeves, and honesty walks a fine line with empathy.

From bathroom antics and baffling dishwasher arrangements to eyebrow-raising comments about postpartum bodies, nothing is off-limits. But beneath the laughs and frustrations lies a deeper truth: how you communicate matters just as much as what you say. As Morice notes, "You can’t take all the sexy out of the room and then ask for sex." 💥

💬 Key Topics This Week:
• The difference between being real and being reckless with your words
• Why postpartum body comments hit differently—and how to support your partner instead
• Relationship pet peeves that test your patience but also reveal your growth
• The harm of one-sided open relationships disguised as "compromise"
• The importance of not lowering your standards—whether it's about marriage before kids or emotional safety

Every listener dilemma this week echoes one core truth: Compromising your core values isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment. We unpack what it means to protect your peace while still showing up in love with honesty, humor, and a whole lot of growth.

🎧 Whether you’re navigating everyday annoyances or major relationship crossroads, this episode will leave you thinking twice about how—and when—you speak your truth.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen.
Whether she chose wisely or not, it still doesn't excuse him
being an asshole.
I never said that.
And here's the thing Somepeople be like oh, but he's just
being honest, so he can't talkabout how he feels.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
No, look there no.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
In this situation.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
No, it's a fine line between honesty and empathy.
Like Empathy, I feel like he'slacking empathy.
He's not empathetic to her, tohis wife and what her feelings
and what she's going through.
And even if she didn't give ababy, have a baby.
It is commonly known that youdo not discuss a woman's body

(00:38):
with her in any unempathetic way.
You have to, and now, mind you,it's very hard to do, but you
have to come up in ways to lether know that hey, like, this is
just a concerned of mine typedeal.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
But to just blatantly like.
It's like, oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
But look to hit her with how you feel about yourself
, right?
Hey, everybody, and welcomeback to your weekly episode of

(01:20):
the life after I do podcast.
Yes, you're hanging out withyour host, nisha G, and I'm here
with this guy.
You guys know the routine.
We'll wait till he's done.

Speaker 2 (01:32):
I am a lover of Nisha G oh goodness, her husband
Malito.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Malito, I'll say let me, let me turn my ringer off,
right, because I you know.
Okay, so you know how, I don'tknow if if this happens to you.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
But when you it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I guess it's like intuition or something, but I
can feel when your mom was gonewhen my phone's about to ring,
when a message is about to comethrough or something, it's just
like the moment, it just itfeels it Like.
When I was laying in bed theother day and I went to turn
over, literally I said to myselfI said my mom's about to call.
She called like 15 secondslater and I was like no your mom

(02:19):
always on your phone.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
You can hear my mama called me today and she was.
I think she was surprised.
I answered no, she wasn't,cause I don't be answering my
phone.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Well, I didn't answer my phone this morning Cause it
was on.
Do not disturb.
That's the only reason why.
Hey Booskies, how you doing?
Hi Booskies, you look reallygood, thank you, you're not too
bad looking yourself.
Wow, no, you look great.
Especially, especially when youcame home from the gym this
morning and you got out of theshower and you had no shirt on.

(02:49):
Stop.
I was like not your arms doingit for me, though.
Stop trying to fuck.
I was like you got a minute.
Stop trying to fuck, Like whatyou doing in 10 minutes Cooking,
you know what Shouts out to youfor handling all of this week's

(03:10):
prep For the second week in arow.
Hey, I was upstairs foldingclothes.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Not mine, well, yours wasn't there Because I did my
laundry, but I had to get tohers today and I was like, oh my
gosh, like girlfriend.
But she was really good aboutit today.
I tell myself every week thatI'm here because I love you, not
because I need you.
Boy, please get on with yourlife Because I love you.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Get on with you.
They are your clothes as well.
You're the only one in thehouse that wears them, cap,
because you gave me one of myshirts back today.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
So don't come to me.
That was only because I don'tknow how you know sometimes.
No, no, because I normally dolaundry.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
So when the laundry is all on the bed and I'm like
sorting and stuff, sometimes Ihave a shirt that ends up in his
laundry or he has a shirt thatends up in my laundry just due
to me like folding clothes andsorting clothes and stuff like
that, so that's how it ended upin my laundry and then I cleaned
out my drawers today I saidwhere is my sexual chocolate
shirt?
I cleaned out my drawers todaybecause I okay, so like with my

(04:12):
gym, because we can't fitnothing.
Well, that too.
But also because with my gym,clothes like I only had certain
ones that I really like to wear.
But now because I've been buyingclothes, so many clothes like
over time oh yeah, and I wasonly just folding them and
putting them on my little chairthat's in my closet, and then
it's like a pile.
So I was like, okay, now Igotta actually designate a
drawer for my gym clothes,because now it just looks like I

(04:33):
have clothes on the chair inthe closet.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I have to go through my clothes again and get rid of
stuff.
Yeah, I have brand new Levi's Ican't fit.
Yeah, they make me mad.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
No, it's okay.
Do you want me to repurposethem?

Speaker 2 (04:53):
No oh.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
You gave me a jean jacket?

Speaker 2 (04:55):
I can't.
How was your week, Booskies?

Speaker 1 (04:58):
My week was good.
What week are we in?
Are you done?
Are you done?

Speaker 2 (05:06):
I'm just playing like you, though.
What you do, I don't what youdo.
I know what you do, um, becauseyou yelled for jazz, but you
came home with me.
Well, I mean, okay, whores, Icouldn't necessarily go home
with jazz.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
You were there um see what actually now?

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I gotta prove my love bye my week was good.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Um welcome to the month of may.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Happy birthday this is my husband's birthday month.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
You guys didn't know his birthday was May 1st.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
Mayday.
Mayday, so happy birthday,because they knew I was going to
be a problem.
That's why I was born on Mayday.
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
Bye, goodbye, but yeah, sowe're into the first week of May
, which means summer is Well, Imean by the time they hear that
it'll be the second week of May.
No, it'll be the first fullweek of May.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yeah, but you know, summer is right around the
corner.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
And my summer body almost ready.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Let them cook.
Let them cook.
Okay, yeah, like in a technicalsense, for the goals that I've
been working on my summer bodyis ready, but my goals for
summer were not the same aseverybody else's for summer, so
let me just some might look atme and be like baby.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
You still got some ways to go, but that's because
that wasn't my goal let me, letme, um, just say this here I had
no issues with your winter body, with my winter body, because I
will eat that up too this istrue, yummy, yummy this is.
This is yummy yummy in my tummy.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
I mean I will say my cake shelf.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Because of the type of workouts I've been doing
Kitty sexy Is you know, kitty,sexy, yeah, she cute, she cute,
she cute.
In my little bodysuit I'd belike, okay, she might be working
with something, but no, I'mhappy I had a good week though.
Yeah, I had a really good week,you know.
So, give us a highlightHighlight.

(06:50):
Okay, highlight of my week was,you know, mine is gym related,
so the highlight of my week washitting more reps with my volume
for my squat, okay.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
So I was really proud about that.
I just want you to point outthat I am never the highlight of
her week.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Okay, I'm literally never the highlight of his week
either, but it's okay, you aremy depth on my squat with my
loaded volume.
Oh yeah, you getting low, yeahyeah.
And then my friend was like Ithink now actually you're
probably getting too low and Iwas like I don't know if I'm too
low.
Well, you know what I mean.
I'm like I'm already close tothe ground.
I'm not that tall.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Right.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
So it ain't you know if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
I mean, but look at the video.
You sit higher than I sit, sopeople think you're taller than
me.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
What do you mean?
Oh, like I'm comfortable, I'mcomfortable too.
Actually, this isn'tcomfortable.
I'm happy you had a good week.
Yeah, how was your week?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I wasn't done, but how was your week Go ahead and
finish?
No, my week was fine, it wasgood.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
It was stupendous, no , stupendous.
Huh, now you have to elaborate,because you used such a large
word.
It was productive.
What made it productive?
Produced what- Happiness.
In what form?
In myself.
Okay, by doing.
I don't want to have to keepdigging.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
So can you just like elaborate.
By doing life.
By doing life.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Okay, so it sounds like you were just sitting in
gratitude.
I'm very thankful.
Which is great, because I feellike I've been trying to get you
around that bend for some timenow.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
So you look here.
Still a work in progress, but Ilove the progress that's
happening.
I never said I was perfect.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
I always say I'm working on it, but I actually
see.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
I never say I'm perfect, I always say I'm
working on it.
No one is perfect, okay, I knowa couple of names that's close
to it.
Okay, you don't.
C-o, c-o, c-o.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
C-O, c-o, c-o.
Who's C-O?

Speaker 2 (08:48):
C-O.
C-o.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
C-O.
C-o.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
C-O.
C-o.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh, coke Bye, Maurice .
He's so damn stupid, I'm allC-O, c-o.
I was like I'm here, I am, amthinking it's like an acronym
for something.
Yeah, now, what was the lowlight?
What was the low point of yourweek?

Speaker 2 (09:08):
The low point of my week is when I step on the scale
of my birthday and I wasliterally two.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Wasn't it depressing?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
I was two ounces shy of my goal weight.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
I felt for you.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
And I said it was them damn cookies.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
I don't care, because they're worth it Right cookies,
I don't care, because they'reworth it, Right I mean.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
But you had a goal and you pretty much met your
goal.
You made it, but then I wentout to eat that day.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh my gosh, in our life we have been trying to get
back on track ever since.
Let me tell you let's talkabout that for a little bit.
Ok, when you have beenconsistent with your eating
habits you know I don't like theword diet, but I'll just use it
for the conversation's sakewhen you have been consistent
with your diet and pairing thatwith the consistency of, like,

(09:54):
your workouts and stuff, andyou've been seeing the progress,
you feel the progress.
It just goes to show you, itreminds you that your brain, at
any given point, has no problemRe reversing.
Like as soon as you give yourbrain something that you haven't
been giving it, your brain islike what well, damn, this feels

(10:16):
familiar, this feels reallyfamiliar.
We went to.
What was the name of it?
destination smoke destinationsmokehouse for his birthday.
He's been trying to get thereall month like that's all he's
been talking about all month.
He's like this is where I wantto go to eat for my birthday and
I'm like okay.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
So we went there and let me tell you it is it's fire.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Okay, it's fire, but you have to like, mind you.
We haven't been eating likebarbecue, like that, you know,
the macaroni and cheese, theyams, the, the barbecue sauce,
like all the fix fixings.
We haven't been eating likethat, right.
So of course it's his birthday.
We didn't have breakfast.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Gloves are off.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
We conserved our calories.
We were like we are going in.
We went in and regretted it thenext morning.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
I mean, I didn't regret it.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Okay, maybe not regret, but I I was like I wish
I would have scaled back alittle bit.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
I just figured like I told the guy today.
I was like I said yeah, Igained about.
I gained about four pounds onmy birthday.
I'm gonna get it back yeah, Imean.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
But here's the thing too a lot of it is salt water,
like, and like coach said, youjust need to drink some water,
go sit in the sauna.
You know what I mean?
Uh, I took my water peel, so Iwas like I know we're gonna get,
I know we're gonna get it back.
You know what I'm saying.
So, but I think it's just, Ithink it's the mind thing, like
when I stepped on the scale andI was like, oh, I will say this,

(11:35):
I will say this we also sawsinners this week oh gosh, yes,
we saw sinners.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, and I get in the movie a solid seven okay, hold
on, though.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Hold on, hold on.
Somebody brought something tomy attention okay, go ahead
which I totally did.
It didn't even okay.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
So listen for those of you who haven't seen it, it's
a spoiler in the case youhaven't seen it, I don't I don't
know, maybe you can pause orwhatever.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
We do not, but it has been out long enough and
obviously a lot of people haveseen it, because it's the number
one movie in america right now.
Um so did it dawn on you thatum stack and the girlfriend were
still in the barn when he hadthe?
Shootout with the kkk so itwasn't just about the shootout

(12:22):
and them coming back, becauseremember when they went he was
protecting them because the barndoors were locked.
He protected his brother'swhole life exactly, and so I was
like wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
That just kind of like went completely over my
head and I was watching somebodylike do like in the little
analysis about it that thatclicked in my head when we got
to the end scene, when theywalked in the bar, and I was
like, oh so they must have beenin the barn oh, that they didn
they didn't leave the barnBecause we never saw them leave
the barn.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
And that's when it dawned on me too.
I was like we never saw themleave the barn.
And then everybody else waslike, well, how did they survive
?
But then the guy was sayingthat's why when the KKK got
there and they tried to open thebarn doors, it was locked.
The barn doors were locked fromthe inside Because, remember,
everybody had already locked andthey were like it's because it
not only was he just gonna, youknow, go out with a bang by

(13:05):
killing them, he was also stillprotecting his brother, because
he also told his brother he madea promise yeah and I was like
oh, my god, I'm not gonna spoilmuch in the movie, like my wife
did um I would just say thatshots out to michael b jordan oh
my gosh that man right now.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh my, he acted his ass off I I was Like I told my
buddy McFly shout out McFly.
I said I thought it was twodifferent people.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, he did amazing, amazing.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
I said they had me for a day.
Really had me thinking Likewhen he lit the cigarette and he
was like no, it was everything.
No, it was like the dramatic,like shift in personalities
between the brothers that he wasplaying.
What's the guy that played.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Cornbread.
I don't know his name in reallife.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I don't know his name in real life.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
But he was talking about the film because he had
sat down and saw the film.
He had sat down and saw thefilm and he was like I can't
tell you how many films Iactually sat down of films where
I was in it, but he was givinga little backstory to the
audience on the amount of workthat Michael B Jordan had put
into these characters.
He was like you have tounderstand, like he had to film

(14:15):
like two different people, youknow, and he was like there were
scenes where he would have tofilm so many hours as Smoke
right, and then he would wearthis like 360 helmet that had
all these cameras to it, becausethey don't do it like they did
in the olden days where theyjust split the screens and put
them together so that they couldbe talking to themselves like
they're twins.
Um, so that's what made it moreinteractive and more realistic,
like when he lit the cigarette,when he gave him the cigarette.
That's why it looks like he'sliterally like talking to

(14:36):
himself shout out shout out tomichael jordan.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Shout out to uh, oh my gosh, dynamic duo right now
dynamic and that's all theglazing I'm gonna do that
dynamic duo.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, if you guys haven't seen the movie I do I do
definitely recommend to go seethe movie.
It is one of like it's verywell researched, it's very well
executed, the acting is topnotch, like top notch.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
You you know black excellence, but yeah that's what
I'm saying Now that we don'tpromote it, we don't get paid
for it.
Let's get into it.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, you push itforward for the culture.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it's amazing.
I'm for the culture.
Are you for the culture?
Okay, come on now.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh, could that be considered?

Speaker 1 (15:29):
a pet peeve being off the culture.
Yeah sure, bye babe.
Yes, baby.
What are some of your biggestpet peeves?

Speaker 2 (15:34):
I have a lot a lot okay all right, is it?

Speaker 1 (15:37):
gonna be one of those things where I say, babe, what
are your biggest pet peeves?
And you say I have a lot, andthen I ask you to give me five,
but you can only give me two.
That's a pet peeve of mine.
Oh, let me.
Let me start.
That's a pet peeve, boom,listen.
A pet peeve of mine is whendoes it jam your clock?
it jams my glock.
I can't.
I don't even know his name.
I gotta figure out what hisname is so I can shout him out

(15:59):
because he's hilarious.
Are your lips flabby?
Um my, my flabber is gassed it.
Okay, my flabber is gassed it.
A pet peeve of mine is whenpeople be like how, how you just
said, oh, I have a ton, yeah, Ido, okay, so give me 10, and

(16:21):
then you can't, and then youcan't.
But here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
I know it's like metaphorically speaking, but I
don't like that metaphor, buthere's the thing about that.
A lot of times it's like youdon't really remember them all,
but when they, when they happen,you were like okay oh yeah,
like in the moment.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, okay, so give me three right now that comes to
your mind, okay, okay.
Give me three of your biggestpet peeves when it comes to me I
don't like the way you fold myshirts.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Why they?
It's just like I fold them flat, but it's not consistent.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
They're not the same size it's not they are okay,
okay, all right, what else?

Speaker 2 (16:57):
I don't like the fact that you never give me a spoon
when you make me dinner okay, Iyou know, I don't know what
that's about you never know,give me.
I don't know what that's about.
You never give me silverware.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
I did it to your daughter too, Cause she came
home and she was like my lunchhad no fork in it.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
I was like girl.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
I'm known for it and that's a mommy special.
I'm known for.
And what's crazy is is I haveactually bought you guys like
lunch, like lunch pail, uh,silverware too, because I kept
saying like, oh, I can't keepforgetting to put these, these
people's stuff, and they lunch.
And I literally have the oneswhere it's the box, where it has
the spoon, the fork, the knife,and I'm just and I bought those

(17:35):
so that I could just reach intothe drawer, grab them and throw
them in their lunches and theystill be in the drawer at the
end of the day.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
I mean, I don't know a lot of pet peeves from you,
okay, come on, hit me with itthe fact that you don't Sounds
like complaining, but not petpeeves the fact that you never
tell me you need gas until youneed need gas.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Oh well, that's because I don't feel the need to
tell you I need gas.
And that's the problem, becauseevery time I go to get in the
car, car because there's gas inthere.
So I'm not sure why I need totell you, because it seems like
you've been doing a really goodjob I have to check it every
morning.
I know, I guess I know but youdon't have to tell me.
You don't have to tell me youwant to eat every day.

(18:12):
So it's kind of like this,that's not the same thing.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
Listen, that is not the same thing.

Speaker 1 (18:18):
The way my brain is working right now.
It's the same thing.
Right now.
Let me tell you why it's thesame thing.
You have been putting gas in mycar since since I could drive,
especially since we've beenliving together, so it's
something you have always done.
Like I rarely put gas in my car, and the times that I do, no,

(18:38):
I'm not, no, I'm not.
And the times that I do put gasin my car, like I would like,
seriously dude, you got me outhere all vulnerable at a gas
station.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
You be pumping gas at two in the afternoon, ain't
nobody from the?

Speaker 1 (18:51):
It's crazy.
Just those are wrenching mywhole day.
But yeah, I just I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
Do you want me to tell you when I need gas?
I'm about to have you startpumping my gas.
You don't want to bench, youdon't want to deadlift 315.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, so what does that have to do with me pumping
your gas?
Okay, what else give?

Speaker 2 (19:13):
me a little.
That was three, give me onemore.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
No, so you give me three of yours, okay, it doesn't
matter.
One of my pet peeves is oh lord, here we go.
One of my pet peeves is, youknow, like when people finish
ice cream, they're like the lastto finish ice cream, right, and
I don't know.
I don't know if you guys rinseout the ice cream bucket when
it's done and then throw it inthe trash.
But one of my pepys is he'llrinse the bucket.
Well, actually he won't rinseit, he'll just fill it up and
then he leaves the carton, theempty carton full of water, in

(19:38):
the sink Because it's not clearyet it's not ready to be dumped
out.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
What does that?

Speaker 1 (19:41):
mean it's not clear yet.
It has ice cream in it.
It's going to melt as soon asyou run hot water into the tub.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
We don't question the traditions, we just keep them
going.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Okay, that's not a tradition.

Speaker 2 (19:51):
It is.
The only tradition is to rinseit out.
In a black house, you pourwater.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
The only tradition is to rinse it out and then throw
it in the trash, Not rinse itout and leave the lid.
Stick the lid in there sidewaysand then leave it in the sink.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
That's not tradition.
That's how we do it in theblack house.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
That's not tradition.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
And then the next morning you dump it and throw it
in the trash.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
That's not it.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
It is.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
That is not it.
Give me two more the one thatjust came to mind, because and
this is only because I had torearrange it the other day you
have asked and I have shown howto load the dishwasher.
I have explained to you whichdishes are top rack dishes and
which dishes are low rack.
Now I know you listen, here Igo to open that dishwasher one

(20:35):
day and I said you can't beserious.
I literally, I literally,correctly because you've been
doing it wrong listen here, evenif you don't know how to
properly load a dishwasher orload it.
Even if you don't know how toproperly load a dishwasher and I
guess that's up for objectiveon how to load a dishwasher.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
It's not because I'm right.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
You're wrong the way you threw them dishes OK In that
dishwasher and then expectedthem all to get clean.
It's crazy work.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Next one, next one.
It's really crazy work.
Next one.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
It's really crazy work.
Another one would have to be now.
This was prior to me orderingthe dispenser, but prior to
ordering a toothpaste dispenser,this was one of my reasons for
ordering a toothpaste dispenserwas when people, when people
lead people and by people I meanmy spouse, whom I have to share

(21:27):
yeah, I don't share sinks withhim, we have a double sink, but
the sink space yeah, that's whyhe's laughing.
That's why he's laughing.
So when you leave the lid thetop off a toothpaste, the air
gets to it and then it gets likehard and it gets.
It gets crusty or it gets likesuper sticky.
And then when you go to try tosqueeze it the next day, after

(21:50):
all of the residual that's beenon top because you left the lid
off has hardened.
Now it's like this tiny littlehole that the new toothpaste has
to get through and then youwaste so much toothpaste.
That used to drive me bananas,which is why I ordered a
toothpaste dispenser.
It's much more convenient now.
They have the ones you can puton the wall.
I just refill the toothpasteand you can just stick your

(22:12):
toothbrush in there and it givesyou the perfect amount of
toothpaste every time and youget all the toothpaste out of
the tube.
All of it.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
This is this is the once a month special where my
wife takes the time on theplatform.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Now he thinks I'm bashing him, but you just sat
here and told these people thatyou don't like the way I fold
your shirts.
I don't.
And I've been folding yourshirts for how long?
And you don't let.
But this is the first timeyou've decided to say that you
don't like the way I fold myshirts.
Alright, or your shirts.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
But you can tell me it's fine.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
It's fine, okay, okay .
So let's see what is yourbiggest pet peeve About my
wardrobe.
I already know how this isgonna go.
That's why I asked that one.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
I got more than one.
Which one you, how many youwant?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
however many you ready to dish out.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
I hate when we leave and you know damn well you need
a bra on.
You don't put one on.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
I do have a bra on.
It's just be a sports bra okayand because my bras don't fit
the way they used to.
Titties be low?
Yeah they be, and that'sinappropriate.
Okay, that's fair.
I told you that's fair and youput you don't care, you did it
yesterday, I do care.
Also yesterday we were like ina rush rushing out of the house,

(23:28):
so I just like.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Excuses.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Excuses, I don't know what you want me to say.
Okay, okay, no, tell me.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
No, so what's?
What's my biggest wardrobe petpeeve of yours?

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Your biggest wardrobe pet peeve, yeah, is how you
pull your shirts straight, why,like, when you put, when he gets
dressed, he puts his pants on,he pulls his shirt on and then
it's not like a you know.
Like sometimes you put at-shirt on, you kind of fluff it
a little bit so it can kind ofhang a little, hang us like a
certain way like a little swag.
You don't hang like with swag.
You put the shirt on your shirt, you're not seven, don't pull

(24:13):
your shirt on, don't pull yourshirt like that.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
But you always do it I'm not seven, okay, all right
what?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
why are you getting offended?

Speaker 2 (24:22):
because I'm not getting offended with you
telling me you're pep heaves.
I'm not getting offended withyou telling me you're pep heaves
.
I'm not getting offended, I'mlistening.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
And you're totally judging.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yes, I am, I'm listening and I am just
preparing to take whatever youbring.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Whatever Okay.
What noise instantly puts youon edge.
What noise?
Noise Like for me, or a noisethat I make, that instantly puts
you on edge.
I thought you meant like ingeneral, oh no, okay you can
tell me, for me and in generalIn general, the alarm clock?

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Because why are you going off when I'm not ready?

Speaker 1 (24:57):
Because it goes off the same time every single day.
But I'm not ready, but youshould be, because it goes off
at the same time every day.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Um, a noise that you make is when you pop your damn
lips.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
What.
It really irritates me what doI do?

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Don't do this, I'm like why there is no need for
that ever.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, it is Like when I'm trying to describe
something, or when I eatsomething especially and it's
good.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
I'm like you don't have to do that?

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, you do.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
It makes you want to, I cringe up and I want to hit
you every time you do it Likestop.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
It's not that bad.
It's not that bad.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
What about for me?
What sound?

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Oh, it's not necessarily a sound, it's just
something you say and you alwaysbe like cause, yeah, like, yeah
, just randomly, you'll betrying to tell me something.
You'll say something the guytold you at the gym today and
you'll be like yeah, cause, yeah, and me and this guy were

(26:04):
talking and he was trying totell me the same thing I was
saying about the pull up.
Cause, yeah, like, and that'swhat I was trying to tell him
too.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah, because, okay, so so you don't like my
mannerisms if I'm here, see, see, this is, I'll tell you.
This is the weekly, this is themonthly episode where she come
out and she feel comfortabletelling me in private.
So she told me that's truerecording so she know if you're
listening you're in the samespace, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
No one's gonna save you.
No one's gonna save you.
Um.
What's a bathroom habit thatyou secretly have?

Speaker 2 (26:38):
that I have.
Uh-huh, I I like to take adumps naked and it drives me
nuts sometimes.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
He literally that's why?

Speaker 2 (26:46):
that's literally that's why he has to poop at
home.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
That's why I prefer to poop at home.
Because he literally has to getcompletely naked Socks and all
Socks, shoes everything.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
He acts like he can't cope if he's not naked and when
he's pooping, because mentallyI have to be prepared, because
sometimes you know this is TMI,but I'm going to say it.
Sometimes the poop it'd be likea good poop but it'd be like a
little messy, so sometimes Ilike to get right in the shower.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Why?
Because you get splashed backyeah.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Right in the shower.
I got to get like right, I'mready.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm ready.
Oh gosh, what about youBathroom habit that I secretly
have?
I don't really have any secretbathroom habits.
I mean, I scroll probably toolong.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Everyone scrolls too long.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
While I'm sitting there, and then my toes start to
go numb, and that's when Irealized, like hey, no, you've
been sitting here too long.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
This is your bad bathroom habit.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
What's my bad bathroom habit?

Speaker 2 (27:47):
you, you know that.
You, you know that once you cutthe shower on, your brain's
going to be the pee.
So you go into the bathroomwith your phone, you cut the
shower on and then I proceed touse the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
Then you sit there and waste hot water.
You literally just let thewater run while you listen, I, I
could pee in the shower, youknow what?
Now I'm wondering, because thatwas a debate a while ago too
People peeing in the shower.
You wouldn't waste the water ifyou did that.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
Do you pee in the?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
shower all the time, every time, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Every single time.
Sometimes I cut the water onand I pee in the shower from
outside the shower.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
Maurice, don't ever.
Seriously, that's ridiculous.
The toilet is literally next tothe shower, yeah, but sometimes
the toilet be down.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
What do you?

Speaker 2 (28:36):
mean the toilet is down.
Sometimes I can't flip it upquick enough.
I mean it's here, Boom.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
That's absolutely ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
That's what makes the floor like slippery and stuff.
If you don't clean it, then youjust lying.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
You're just coming up with shit you're just going up
with shit.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
No, because, because it's like the same thing with
the suds.
You know how like I make youmake sure you rinse out the suds
.
It's the same thing.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
I'm going to ask you some questions now.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
Okay, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
What eating habit drives you up the wall?

Speaker 1 (29:12):
With you.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
You eating?
What the fuck you eating?
What about it?
You eating the way I eat, justthe way you eat in general,
because and then you have thenerves to try to hold a
conversation and chew like awild donkey.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Okay.
While you're doing it, becausehe'll be like, he'll be like.
Okay, that's enough.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
That's enough.
That's enough, that's enough.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
That's enough.
My answer to that question isthe one from previous ago.
When you do that damn pop withyour mouth Because it ain't
necessary, baby, was it good?

Speaker 1 (29:51):
it's not necessary.
It's so necessary.
It's how you get the rest ofthe flavor from the roof of your
mouth.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Yeah, no, it's very necessary um what public
behavior embarrasses you?

Speaker 1 (30:04):
what public behavior embarrasses me.
Let me.
Let me tell you guys whatpublic behavior embarrasses you.
What public behaviorembarrasses me.
Let me tell you guys whatpublic behavior embarrassed me
recently.
Okay, some women might find itendearing.
I didn't find it endearing.
Do I love when my husband isflirty at the gym?
Love it.
Do I not mind if he hits me onthe ass, gives me a kiss, or
like be touchy-feely, don't mindit at all, love it.

(30:29):
Gives me a kiss or like betouchy-feely, don't mind it at
all, love it.
What I do have to draw the lineat is you taking your hand and
rubbing it between my legs tosniff, and then putting your
hands and fingers under yournose, and then look at me and
walk away when the person nextto me who's also doing his bench
press is left to wonder whatthe hell just happened.
I had to get.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
I didn't have any smelling salts that day he knows
that you are with me.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Everyone in the gym knows we are together.
There is no reason why you needto rub your hand in my crotch
and smell it.
Okay, I'm sitting there on thebench.
He's supposed to be spotting me.
I'm holding the dumbbells.
He helps me to get one dumbbellon my knee and stands right in
front of me, proceeds to takehis right hand, swipes it

(31:11):
between my sweaty thighs andthen sniffs his fingers and then
proceeds to try to spot me.
The guy next to me was likewhat the hell?

Speaker 2 (31:21):
just happened.
That just happened.
It was magnificent.
Call it what you want to callit.
I was like, call it what youwant to call it.
Look here I am a taurus.
We are earthly people, okay,okay, I love the scent of my

(31:41):
wife, I mean here's the thing Idid at all times he does I'll do
it right now, no, you're notgonna do it right now.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
He's always been that way and I think it's just, it's
crazy, because it's like 23years and then there's still
things.
I'm just like dude, I'm notcomfortable with that, like I've
been sweating all day and he'slike okay, and I'm like no, okay
, it's not a thing, but I'm nota man, so I don't know.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Oh, what public OK?
Do you have any public behaviorthat embarrasses me?
Hmm, I don't think you do?

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Are you trying to say I know how to behave in public
setting?

Speaker 2 (32:17):
No, you just.
Yeah, I mean you're very, it'sboring.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Yeah, you're boring Very, rinella, because because
I'm not going around putting myhand in your ass crack and
sniffing it in front of people.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
I mean, if you want to, I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
I wouldn't advise it, it's so gross.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
What's something that I always forget to do?
That's a pet peeve of yours.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Go ahead, so obviously I don't take out trash
in my house Okay.
But I've always asked him like,take the trash out in the
morning, it'll be easier, evenif it's not completely full,
just take it out in the morning.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
No, I'm not wasting it.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
But my pet peeve is when you see trash poking out of
the trash can Push it down andyou proceed to take more trash
and put it on top and just pushit down and then not empty the
trash.
Push it down and you proceed totake more trash and put it on
top and just push it down.
Push it down and then not emptythe trash, because it's not full
yet it is full Because you'regoing to leave and I still have
a whole day at home to getthrough throwing trash and shit

(33:17):
away.
All right, okay, that's a petpeeve.
Take out the garbage when yousee it before it pokes out the
garbage can.
That's it, it's really quitesimple.
Okay, are you giving me anotherone?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
Let's do a couple more.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
You want me to answer that one.
Yeah, go ahead my biggest petpeeve is when you forget to make
my lunch, when I forget to makeyour lunch.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
What do you mean?
And then you come down here andyou try to throw something
together real quick.

Speaker 1 (33:46):
Oh, you mean like if I didn't do it the night before,
and then you come down here andtry to throw something together
and I get some hogwash-ass food.
First of all, how is it hogwash?
You eat everything that's inthe house.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
It don't be seasoned.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
It just don't be prepared like I normally do it
so when it's not prepared, likeI normally make his lunch, then
he's like oh you half-assed mylunch today.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
That.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
But I didn't send you out into the world hungry.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
That, and when you make my eggs, knowing that by
the time I get to them they'regoing to be cold, because I hate
to eat old eggs, but I don't dothat.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I don't do that unless you ask me.
Go ahead, like when you tell meno no no, back up, back up,
because you're not going to playmy life.
You're not going to play my lifeLike when you say, babe, oh,
can you scramble me some eggs orhave them ready for when I get
home from the gym and I'malready still in bed and you're
not even home yet.
So then if I get up to try tomake them so that they're ready

(34:38):
when you get here, but then youdrag your feet when you get here
, how am I supposed to know whattime?

Speaker 2 (34:46):
you're going to get here, so I wait till you get
here and I try to make up.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Okay, go ahead and go ahead and ask a couple Um,
let's see what's a what's acouple habit that you see in
others that you don't like, Umcouples.
Couples have shared Facebookpage, I think that's.
I mean we technically share aFacebook page but, it's for the
podcast.
That's not the same.
Okay, not the same, but yeah,like I know what you mean.

(35:09):
Or like couples who like sharean email, they share an email
address they share a Facebookpage.
Yeah, I think that's.
I do think that's kind of likeevery time I say that I'm like
who cheated, who cheated that'sexactly who cheated which one of
you did it Right and whose ideawas it to make them comfortable

(35:29):
?

Speaker 2 (35:29):
It's so cute that y'all working on your own
marriage it's so cute, it's socute, it's so cute.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
But we already know where this is derived from.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
So what about you?

Speaker 1 (35:39):
I think my biggest pet peeve that some couples do
that just drives me nuts, that Idon't like is when they um like
speak ill of each other infront of like people.
Oh, that's good stuff like Ican't stand that.
I mean, we don't do that.
I know, but when someone does,it around us.

Speaker 2 (35:56):
Yeah, I don't like that at all.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
The tea I don't, I know I don't like that, like I
don't want you talking, talkingabout how your, your man ain't
shit when it's like he rightthere when he's right there, and
then you're also in front ofother people.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
Like what the hell?
But then you're going to gohome with him.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
And then you got to ride home with him.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
And be.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
But then he over there doing the same thing,
talking about how you ain't shiteither.
Yeah, y'all is crazy, crazywork.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Crazy work.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
That's crazy work.
Okay, let's see One more.
All right, it's your show.
I'm just as well trying to dothat let's see what's one
work-related habit that spillsinto your home life.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
I don't think I have any work-related habits that
spill into my life, because Ikeep work at work.
You bought all my hand when youwere working.
You never clocked out so youwould work at home.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
I worked at home like one time.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
You were working.
You never clocked out, so youwould work at home.
I worked at home like one time.
You worked at home every day.
No, I did not.
Okay, see, she won't.
This is why they're pet,because she won't even
acknowledge the fact that wehave a problem okay, just one
more.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
This is the last one.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
What's our biggest communication pet peeve is when
the other person don't hear theother person correctly, because
I'll be saying stuff.
You didn't say that.
If I can't hear your idea, noworries, you say it there.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
It's not how I heard it.
It's not how I heard it.
I don't know if that's a petpeeve or just a matter of
differences.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
No, it's a pet peeve for me, because I know.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
See, but the fact that you think you know Is
already the problem.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
When you were saying that that I think I know your
first mistake was thinking Okay,you know what.
This has been another episode.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
See, I was so good Because my phone did ring.
See how good I am.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Sometimes you're right.
Sometimes you're right, so good.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Alright, guys, let's hop right on into good.
I am Sometimes you're right.
Sometimes you're right, so good, all right guys, let's hop
right on into our two cents,which seems to be like the most
popular segment.
You guys love our two cents.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Look here we're going to keep doing them.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Okay, guys, here we go.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Because, lord knows, I'm always going to have an
opinion about something.
Listen, hold on.
Let me say something real quick.
I don't always take the man'sside.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Okay, oh, because that's what you've been getting
backlash on.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
I was literally trying to point out his point of
view.
I never said he was wrong and Iliterally said that in that
reaction.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
They don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
About the business trip.
I literally said in thatreaction that she's not an
asshole for feeling the way shefeels.
I was just literally saying hismentality behind his choices.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
That's it and they were wrong.
If the man is wrong and I'mlike you're wrong, I'm going to
say you're wrong.
He should have said it for hiswife to go on the business trip.
Get that back, alright?
Am I the asshole for notagreeing to my boyfriend's open
relationship rules?
Oh okay, hold on, let's hearhim okay.
I'm a 25 year old female.

(38:54):
Very early on in ourrelationship with my boyfriend,
who's 25, he told me that he hadto be in an open relationship.
I hadn't been in one before,but I said that I'd give it a
try, and it was clear when wetalked about it that either of
us could sleep with whomever wewanted.
So I said okay.
We've been dating for 11 monthsand over time I really started
to love him.
I know he has quite a few verycasual partners, but nothing

(39:17):
serious in a relationship.
I actually didn't have anyother partners, though, because
I was happy just being with him.
Then, two months ago, I wasdrunk and met a guy at a party
and we slept together.
I didn't think I was doinganything wrong whatsoever.
So when it came up with myboyfriend, I didn't try to hide
it, but he was really upset.
He said it was disrespectfulfor me to do that.
I was kind of shocked.

(39:38):
I'm fine with not sleeping withother people, but the problem is
now.
He's really paranoid andcontrolling ever since then and
have been accusing me of lookingat other guys or flirting with
them all the time, constantlychecking my phone, wanting me to
check in every hour when I'mout and asking to track my
location, etc.
It's really starting to botherme.
So basically, he wants to havean open relationship, but only

(39:59):
on his side.
He says that he loves me andthat I should be loyal only to
him, but when I bring up how therules don't apply to him, he
gets angry.
He says that so many men feelstuck in boring relationships
and he's not going to be one ofthose men and that I shouldn't
try to control him either.
I get it, but it doesn't feelright.
I love him a lot, but I'mseriously thinking about

(40:22):
breaking up with him.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 (40:24):
No, stop wasting your goddamn time, girl, look here.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
He trying to back you into a corner, trap you and do
everything else.
Cut it out.
Uh-uh, that's manipulation.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
He's trying to have his cake and eat it too.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeah, I think, isn't it, kate, and Edith too?

Speaker 2 (40:40):
Like it, like it, you're not an asshole here.
I would leave because obviouslyan open relationship means that
you are both open to freelyhave casual interactions outside
of each other, as long as youguys are up in front about these
interactions.
Now what it sounds like whathappened was everything was cool
as long as he was the onlyperson dipping.

(41:02):
So once you dip, he didn't likeall the dip on your chip, and
now he got a problem with it.
So I say either leave them orkeep dipping your chip.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Keep dipping it.
He wanted to open arelationship.
Yeah, and I think here's thething If an open relationship
was what you want, by all means,if both parties can agree to it
, by all means do you boo boo.
But to have an openrelationship and it just be one
sided, that's not an openrelationship.
That's one person being in arelationship and the other

(41:35):
person saying I can just do whatI want to do, but I also want
you at home.
That's, that's not a thing.
Like that's not a thing.
You can go and do what you wantto do, but I'm not going to
just sit at home and, like you,talk about, uh, boredom being a
thing, that men get stuck in arelationship.
Do you not think women getbored?
And I think that here's thething.

(41:57):
Let's talk about that.
I think it's really crazy workabout it I think it's really
crazy work that some men, whenthey have complaints about
relationships, like, oh, likeI'm not getting it enough, or
like she ain't this, she ain'tthat.
Do you really think that womendon't have the same complaints?
I think that's crazy work topeople.
I think that's really crazycrazy work women get bored.

(42:19):
Women are, I would, I would betmoney that women far, their
unsatisfaction far outweighs aman's unsatisfaction when it
comes to if we're, if we'respeaking strictly physical,
guarantee it, okay, guarantee itokay, oh no I'm, I'm good, I

(42:40):
get what I need, and then, whenI don't get what I need, I you
let him know I'm very vocal, letyou know I'll be like, hey, so
so about 10 minutes ago, right,so you know, like there's always
tomorrow or 20 minutes later,you know.
But no, that's, that's crazy.

(43:02):
You're not an asshole.
I say break up with him.
I never, I never tell people,people what to do with their
relationship but.
I say it's a done deal, becausethat sounds like manipulation to
me.
Keep dipping your chip.
Yeah, that sounds likemanipulation to me.
I can't do it.
Nope, can't do it.
Let's see.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, nope, not here we go.

(43:25):
Hold on, give me a second.
See people, give me a second,guys.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
I'll be having all this laid out for her.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Really Okay.
Am I the asshole for refusingto give my boyfriend children
because he won't marry me?
My boyfriend, who's 33, and me,who's 31, have been dating for
seven years.
Early on we talked aboutmarriage, kids, a house, the
whole shebang, the like.

(43:52):
I like kids and I think thatI'd be a great mother and I'd
like to have children.
But I wouldn't be upset if Ididn't have any.
I'm happy with my life as it isand I could be just as happy
with or without children.
My boyfriend has always dreamedabout being a dad and recently
suggested that we are in such agood place that we should start
trying for kids.

(44:12):
I was a little confused by this.
I told him early on, within thefirst year, that I would never
have children with a man who wasnot ready to marry me.
I feel like children are a muchbigger commitment than marriage
, so marriage should come first.
Additionally, if a man doesn'tlove me and isn't committed
enough to spending the rest ofhis life with me, I don't see
why I would make the choice andsacrifice of bearing his

(44:35):
children.
That's fair.
Maybe it's old-fashioned of me.
Whatever, I explained all ofthis to him once again.
He was awkward and said that hejust doesn't want to get married
.
He said that men always getscrewed over in divorces all the
time and that he doesn't thinkmarriage is important enough or
a smart enough choice.

(44:55):
I said that's fine, we don'thave to get married.
I'm happy with our life as itis.
We just won't be buying a housetogether or having children
together.
We can each buy our own homeand live in one and rent out the
other If we aren't gettingmarried.
I do not want to reallyentangle our finances in any way
, shape or form.
He was awkward and said that ohno, sorry, it was smart choice.

(45:21):
Okay, sorry, guys, let me goback, let me go.
Let me, let me go back, let mego.
Let me, let me go back, okay.
So he blew up at me and saidthat I was punishing him for not
wanting to marry him.
I said that I'm not and thatjust having children outside of
marriage goes outside of mypersonal values.
I also told him that, sincehe's super against the idea of

(45:41):
marriage, that I'm not going tomarry him just for a shut up
ring that he only gives mebecause he wants kids.
I want him to actually want tomarry me and if not, that's okay
.
Children and marriage are offthe table for us completely.
If he wants kids now, he needsto leave me and find someone who
will have his kids withoutgiving them stability and
commitment.

(46:01):
And maybe I could find somebodywho wants to marry me, maybe
have kids or not.
And I said all of this to him.
He's been very distressed andemotionally distraught.
He has, he has a disease that'sa very limited to his life
expectancy.
He said that if he doesn't havekids ASAP, that he probably
wouldn't have them at all, butotherwise he wouldn't be able to

(46:22):
see them into adulthood.
So am I the asshole?
Absolutely not.
I don't think so.
Your body, otherwise hewouldn't be able to see them
into adulthood.
So am I the asshole?
Absolutely not.
I don't think so.
Your body, your choice.
I don't think so.
No, because here's the thing ifyou're, if you're on the time
crunch to have kids, he's, hehas a disease that's really
affecting his life expectancy,right.
So he wants to have kids nowbecause he wants to have a
chance to be able to see theminto adulthood.

(46:43):
Why are you worried?
Why are you worried aboutdivorce If you're not going to
be here?
What are you worried aboutdivorce for If you're not going
to be here.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
What are you worried about?

Speaker 1 (46:53):
divorce for?
Yeah, but why is thatover-trumping the love and the
benefits that you would get frommarriage, like okay, so let's
say you have children.
What if your children grow upto not like you?
Yeah, that's a risk too, youknow.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Yeah, he probably shouldn't have kids because
don't pass that disease down.

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Oh, because you don't know if it's like a yeah, yeah
I mean, but I get it.
Side note, because you justmade me think of something.
I was watching Dr Pimple Popperand it was a lady who suffered
from a skin condition her andher brother where they have like
like massive bumps completelycovered 100 percent of their
body and it was hereditary, soit's passed down Right.

(47:36):
And their mother.
The lady, was in her 60s and shesaid she never got married and
she never had kids.
And the one she said the onlyreason why she did it is because
she did not want to pass it offto her children.
But like now she is seeing,like her friends with their
grandkids and stuff like that,and she just feels, you know, so
empty that that's a part of herlife that she literally cut off
because she didn't want to passdown what she had to her kids.

(47:59):
And I was just like that's,that's, I get it, I get it, I
totally get it, but that's alsoreally sad.
Love, I get it, I totally getit, but that's also really sad.
Love them dogs, because youjust like sacrificed.
Love them dogs, yeah, but anyway, going back to her, I wouldn't
be.
I don't think you're an asshole.
No, I wouldn't feel bad.
You're not an asshole.
Having children I've alwayssaid that.

(48:21):
I've said that to you multipletimes.
People who want to havechildren but then they don't
want to get married I thinkthat's crazy work.
Like, how are you going to saymarriage is a bigger commitment
than having children?
Mm-hmm if we got married anddidn't have kids, even if we did
get divorced, it's easier forus to part ways.
You know what I mean.
We can sell property.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
My thing is if divorce is what you're scared of
, just prenup.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
That's what I'm saying.
I would ask what about divorcefrightens you?
Yeah, you just think you'regoing to get the short end of
the stick.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Without a prenup.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
yes, that what you just think you're gonna get the
short end of the stick well andwithout a prenup.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Yes, that's just, that's not facts.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
But okay, that's facts, like okay.
But if that's the case, thenwhy get seven years in when
you've already known and I'vealready?

Speaker 2 (49:06):
told you my.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
Thing that that is a that's a prerequisite for me and
that's not going to changebecause that's my fundamental
values as a person, and sothat's where I'm at like.

Speaker 2 (49:14):
You've been with her seven years, so do you just
believe in your mind that she'splaying the long game, the F you
over.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
No, the thing is is he was playing the long game.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
He thought that he would just wait her out.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Yeah, yeah, just like people, just like people women
who try to convince men thateventually they're going to want
kids, like men who don't wantkids.
And it's like oh no, I'm prettysure I can bring him around.
And then here you is, eightyears later, and he's still
telling you like baby.
I was very serious eight yearsago when we started this, when I
told you I did not want kids,and the same is still true today

(49:46):
.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Ma'am.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
So you're wasting your own time?
I don't understand.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Ma'am miss, you're not the asshole.

Speaker 1 (49:52):
Girl, please no.
And then the fact that she saidthat she was still cool with
where they are.
She was like that's fine, likeshe didn't even say I was going
to break up with him.
She said that's fine Cause Ialso love the life that we have
now.
But just know, if we ain'tgetting married, you won't get
kids from me.
You can get them from somewhereelse.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
I like.
I like what she said, Likesince, since I'm not good enough
to marry, we will just we, whywould I have your children?
We'll go ahead and keepeverything separate Right Money,
everything.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
Right, I'm not good.
I'm too much of a danger tomarry, but not enough of a
danger to bury your children.
Like she said, I'm not going tosacrifice burying your children
.
You can't even take a chance onbeing totally committed to me.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
I want the people to know that I'm on the lady's side
on this one.
Oh yeah, okay, but this is I'mon the lady's side on this one.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
Oh yeah, okay, you got to be distinct.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Let them know so they don't eat you up in the
comments.
Yeah, I'm on the lady's side.
I mean, keep your morals.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Don't change, don't change your morals for anyone.
When you start changing yourmorals and values for people,
and especially if it's not toelevate dangerous waters.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
I mean he halfway there I'm pretty sure I'm having
sex, so he just ain't shootingit up.
So I mean he can Well she'sreally going to be.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
I mean, he can half the basket and be happy.
Bye, Maurice, half the basket.
Anywho, this has been anotherepisode.
I thought we had another one.
What I thought we had one.
You want to do three.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
You're getting greedy now.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
I sent you another one.
You getting greedy now.
What's the one I sent you?
Let me see.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Was it that one?
No, the one I sent you.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
Oh, let me see, because you know my husband be
messy guys.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Okay, this is one from Mr Gil.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yeah, let's go.
Am I the asshole for not beingintimate with my husband after
he said he misses mypre-pregnancy body?
I gave birth around two monthsago.
I'm up a bit more than 10pounds from my pre-pregnancy
weight.
I'm in constant pain, barelygetting any sleep, still

(51:55):
recovering.
I've been easing back into thegym.
This past week.
My husband and I were showeringafter being intimate and while
feeling me, he said he misses mybody and he said he misses what
I used to look like, because Iused to look so sexy in clothes
and lingerie before I went quiet, finished my shower and then

(52:15):
went to check on the baby.
I brought it up later that hehad hurt my feelings and that I
was feeling self-conscious andthat I was trying.
He just shrugged and said it'strue, I cried in my car after my
workout.
He doesn't even work out and heeats like garbage.
I've been feeling really downabout my body since his comment
and I've pulled back fromintimacy for the past few days.
He says that I'm weaponizingsex, but I'm just struggling

(52:39):
with how I feel about myselfright now.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 (52:42):
No, you tell your husband, tell that fat fuck Bye.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
She didn't say he was fat.
She just said that he don'twork out and he eats like
garbage.
But there's plenty of men whodon't work out and eat like
garbage and they're not fat.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Look here.
I think it's diabolical that hesaid that to her.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
While they were naked in the shower.
And she's only two monthspostpartum.
Right, that part is crazy.

Speaker 2 (53:05):
Like she literally just carried a whole child, Like
but you know what I've come?

Speaker 1 (53:09):
to realize, babe.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
This is what.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
I've come to realize that in our society I don't know
if it's like Western societywhatever the value of the value
and the sacrifice, the labor ofwomen birthing children, the
complexities of that, the, the,the value of it, doesn't hold

(53:39):
weight in like in our, like inour culture, like our culture,
the our it's like that's whatyou, that's what, that's what
you're born yeah, it's just like.
Like, when you look at certaincultures, it's like they focus
on the healing of the mother.
They focus on, like, the timethat mom and baby have together

(54:00):
to bond.
They understand that a woman'sbody goes through a lot.
They understand that it'simportant for mom and baby to be
, you know, be taken care of.
It's important for mom to heal,it's important for mom to have
her time.
They understand that hormonesare actually real Right for moms
to have her time.
They understand that hormonesare actually real Right.
But here in our society it'slike okay, like you had a baby,

(54:24):
you ain't the first or the lastwoman to have a baby.
Like, what's the big deal?
The baby is out.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
Oh, it's a big deal.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
But that's what I'm saying.
It's not, it's not.
It's not looked like oh my gosh, like.
This is the person I want totake care of.
She just bore my child, shebrought my child into the world
and I know that she's goingthrough something Like if he
thought about that, he wouldn't,he wouldn't feel so comfortable
to say oh my gosh.
I rubbing her stomach and beinglike, oh I miss, I miss the way
your stomach felt before youhad the baby.

(54:50):
Are you serious?
Two months, eight weeks?
I'm eight weeks postpartum.
My hormones are not balanced.
I feel like crap and I'm prettysure the only reason why she's
trying to get back into the gymis because she already know what
type of husband she got anywayso does she choose wisely listen
, it doesn't it?
whether she chose wisely or not,it still doesn't excuse him

(55:11):
being an asshole, and here's thething some people be like.
Oh, but he's just being honest,so he can't talk about how he
feels.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
No, look there no.

Speaker 1 (55:20):
In this situation.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
No, it's a fine line between honesty and empathy.
Like Empathy, I feel like he'slacking empathy.
He's not empathetic to his wifeand her feelings and what she's
going through, what sheexperienced, and even if she
didn't have a baby it iscommonly known that you do not

(55:43):
discuss a woman's body with herin any unempathetic way.
You have to, and now, mind you,it's very hard to do, but you
have to come up in ways to lether know that, let her know that
, hey, like, this is just aconcerned of mine type deal yeah
but to just blatantly like.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
It's like, oh yeah but look, because hit her with
how you feel about yourself,right but he doubled down on it
later like I didn't know wrong.
Yeah, he tried to say it's truedamn okay, excuse me, it may be
true, but I'm also letting youknow like your delivery or
whatever hurt my feelings, socan you, can we at least
acknowledge that sometimes howit made me feel and then, okay,

(56:25):
yes it's.
I'm not going to deny the factthat it's not true.
I just had a baby eight weeksago.
Obviously, I know my body isnot what it was pre-pregnancy.
I was pregnant for nine months.
Nine months sometimes it ain'twhat say, it's how you say it.
Three months shy of a year.
Okay, you're not an elephant.
Three months shy of a year.
I was carrying your child, okay.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
You're incubating.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
So yeah, you're.
No, you're not an asshole.
Now do I want to get technicaland being like because he's
saying that she's weaponizing?
I don't think she's weaponizingsex either.
It's not that she's weaponizing.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
She's not feeling it.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
It's that she's literally not in the mood.
You killed it.
You cannot, you killed it.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
You cannot remove all the sexy from the room and then
ask for sex.
And then ask her to be sexyLike she's not, because now
every time she's naked in frontof you she's self-conscious.
She's only thinking about how.
You don't like what you see.
And now?

Speaker 1 (57:24):
she's embarrassed.
You did this to yourself andthen, if she goes through with
it and you're going to feel thedifference, that she's really
not even into it then you'regoing to.
I should.
What is?
What is it gonna be?

Speaker 2 (57:41):
maybe because I've had some people tell me that I
should tell you know, tell menhow to talk to their wives.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Maybe I should start.
You should tell them how totalk to their wives because some
of these dudes be out of pocketcan I be in the class with you?
yeah, you can, because you needa lot of talk to me yeah, no, no
sir because I'll talk to youproperly really I never, I, I,
I'm always, but I'm notempathetic with no I'm not
saying like with that, I'm justsaying but you ain't perfect,
like your communication ain'tperfect I'm not okay, but I'm

(58:06):
saying I'm empathetic uh, yeahI'm not perfect, but I always
lead with love yeah I'm alwaysleading with love.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
I don't come.
I don't come to you with malice, woman though I should,
sometimes Because you be out ofpocket.
But sometimes, instead of whenyou get out of pocket, sometimes
, instead of coming with youwith malice, I just pick you up,
put you back in the pocket,okay.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Okay, demille, and.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
I love you from afar.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
DeMille, but that's wild.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
Yeah, that's crazy work.
You removed the sexy from theroom he did.
You removed the sexy from theroom he did.
Then you asked him to be sexy.
You're crazy.
That's exactly what he is crazy.
Now you're gonna have to waitthis one out player.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
That's like saying, oh my god that big better hope
her snap back is quick, becauseI don't know, let's say oh my
god, that big ass bump in yourback.
You think she's gonna get youdoggy.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
She's gonna be laying on her back damn that big bump
on your back, come on sometimes,as men, we have to just shut up
keep it to yourself you have tounderstand that what you say is
going to directly impact theactions and what you want.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
So you have to talk to your spouse or your partner
properly.
You can't be out here justsaying anything off the rail and
then act like she don't havefeelings.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
She's not a couch.
The timing was not great, itwas diabolical.
The timing was not greatbecause I don't want people to
be talking about okay, so youcan't tell your partner if
they're not satisfied with you,but it has nothing to do with
that.
She just gave birth to a child,not impossible.
Like a whole human being Like.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
I don't think men really understand the process of
giving birth, and what if thebaby's like nine pounds too?
She probably really wentthrough some shit.
Okay, Because I watched youpush down six pounds.
I said I can do it.
I said this would have been ac-section.
Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
So that's sorry.
That just takes me back to avideo I saw today and it was um,
the guys in the gym.
They were putting the uh crampsimulator on them, so so they
can feel what it feels like whengirls are at the like working
out while they're on theirperiod.
And home dude was like he saidy'all do that shit every 29 days
.
I'm not doing it.
Look here, she was like everymonth.

(01:00:23):
And then people in the commentswas like that's just the cramps
, but you don't get everythingelse that comes with that.
He was like hell, no, he waslike I wouldn't come.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Like if I'm feeling this way, as a man with
gallbladder issues and I knowhow that feels when my
gallbladder fills up.
I don't want them problems.
What cramps?
I don't want them.
Yeah, because with mygallbladder it's 12 to 18 hours
that I'm back in the clean.
Y'all gonna do a whole week ofthis shit.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
You want to come with that shit, and it's not just
the cramps, like that's thething the fatigue, the fatigue.
Oh, let's not talk about thepoops, oh my God.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Okay, this has been another episode.

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
I knew that one would get you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
Of the Life After I Do podcast Do, do, do, do do.
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Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
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Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
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Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
All the new subscribers.
We appreciate all the newfollowers, all the new followers
, all the new interaction On ourroad to 20K on TikTok.
Guys, let's run it up.
We are almost there.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
Let's get it.
We have fixed the issue withSpotify.
The Spotify link now works.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Oh yeah, we have the issue with Spotify.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
I'm really thankful the person who brought that to
my attention.
So now we, but we are onSpotify guys.

Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Yes guys, we are on Spotify.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
And, yeah, you know, you get a new episode every
Wednesday.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
And until then, Peace booskies, Peace booskies.