December 8, 2025 • 42 mins
We share practical ways to enjoy the holidays while protecting a healing brain, focusing on blood sugar, hydration, sleep, and realistic boundaries. We reframe FOMO, practice gentle resets, and stack small wins so recovery feels doable and meaningful.
• stabilizing blood sugar with planned meals and snacks
• hydration strategies with minerals and travel tips
• pre-event resets, breathing, and transition time
• scouting quiet zones and setting exit plans
• honoring sleep schedules over social pressure
• scripts for showing up differently and saying no
• mindset shifts away from FOMO toward self-respect
• win stacking, gratitude, and tracking progress
• using cues and lists to manage overload
Email us at lifeafterimpact@gmail.com with your tips for self-care during the holidays.
Connect with Chaandani at www.returntolife.ca and discover how her work is helping bridge the gap between patients and practitioners in the concussion recovery journey.
Email Chaandani: hello@returntolife.ca
Get 20% off your first order of Puori protein with code LIFEAFTERIMPACT by following this link.
Dr. Wolf's book Concussion Breakthrough: Discover the Missing Pieces of Concussion Recovery is now available on Amazon!
What topics do you want to hear more about? What questions do you have? Email us at lifeafterimpact@gmail.com
Follow us on Instagram @lifeafterimpact
Website: lifeafterimpact.com
Medical disclaimer: this video or podcast is for general informational purposes only, and does not constitute the practice of medicine or other professional healthcare services, including the giving of medical advice. No doctor patient relationship is formed. The use of this information and materials included is at the user's own risk. The content of this video or podcast is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Consumers of this information should seek the advice of a medical professional for any and all health related issues.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Chaandani Khan (00:00):
I like to describe it as an invitation
descends upon you and upon yourlife really to take a look at
where your mindset has been forha X amount of years, where it
is now, and the places that youcould take it.
Because mindset underpins a lotof recovery.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (00:18):
Welcome to Life After Impact, the Concussion
Recovery Podcast.
I'm Dr.
Ayla Wolfe, and I will behosting today's episode where we
help you navigate the oftenconfusing, frustrating, and
overwhelming journey ofconcussion and brain injury
recovery.
This podcast is your go-toresource for actionable
information, whether you'redealing with a recent
(00:39):
concussion, struggling withpost-concussion syndrome, or
just feeling stuck in yourhealing process.
In each episode, we dive deepinto the symptoms, testing,
treatments, and neurologicalinsights that can help you move
forward with clarity andconfidence.
We bring you leading experts inthe world of brain health,
functional neurology, andrehabilitation to share their
(01:01):
wisdom and strategies.
So if you're feeling lost,hopeless, or like no one
understands what you're goingthrough, know that you are not
alone.
This podcast can be your guideand partner in recovery, helping
you build a better life afterimpact.
This is part two of myconversation with John Denny
(01:23):
Khan about not just survivingthe holiday season, but thriving
this holiday season.
We hope you enjoy the episode.
Thanks again for listening andwishing you a very happy
holiday.
Some people, maybe before theirinjury, could easily skip a meal
and be fine, as turn in terms oftheir brain's ability to
(01:45):
maintain stable blood sugarlevels.
But after a after a braininjury, the brain's ability to
control blood sugar can beaffected.
And our brain is literallyeating up 20% of all of our
glucose needs, right?
Or like our brain needs glucose.
And that idea of energymetabolism, it can be
interrupted and it can get alittle off track after a brain
(02:08):
injury.
And so some people might reallystruggle with blood sugar levels
and not recognize that if theymaybe were used to skipping
breakfast or if they were usedto being able to go six hours
without eating, now they'rewondering why am I getting a
headache?
Why do I feel nauseous?
Why do I feel dizzy?
And it does might not even occurto them like, oh, well, I
(02:29):
haven't eaten for six to eighthours.
Right.
And maybe they could get awaywith that before, but not now.
Chaandani Khan (02:35):
That's the thing, is it's it's really,
again, it's really opening yourmind to I was functioning a
certain way before my injury.
How is my body functioning rightnow?
And that certainly doesn't meanthat you will be functioning in
this way forevermore.
It's just right now, what canyou do?
What can you pull into yourexistence that will help your
give your body what it needsduring this critical time of
recovery?
Dr. Ayla Wolf (02:54):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So I think those are those arebig ones.
Is it's like wherever you'regoing, maybe show up with your
own, your own food, your ownbeverages if you're concerned
that there might not besomething that's good for you at
whatever you're going to.
Yeah.
And then maybe even eatingbefore you go.
I think we've all had thatexperience of, okay, well, I'm
(03:15):
just, I think that we're goingto eat dinner at five, but then
you get somewhere and all of asudden dinner's not ready until
eight.
And so now you're just starving.
Chaandani Khan (03:23):
Yes.
And now you're starving.
And if and if you're strugglingwith your brain, that's just a
whole other level as well thatwe don't even need to go into.
You know what?
I I actually I've done that, Idefinitely have done that
before.
And I've done that sometimesbefore certain networking events
where like I will specificallyeat a little bit, um, you know,
to keep my energy up, but alsolike secretly, if there are
(03:43):
really good snackies out, I'm aperson who's going to want to
beeline for them.
So it's it's a fine balancebetween networking and chatting
with actually eating.
So, you know, multi-use um thatstrategy.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (03:54):
Yeah.
And I'm the opposite.
When I'm at a public event, Idon't like eating.
And so usually for me, I knowthat I need to eat something
before I go because I'm verylikely, if I know I'm going to
be socializing, I probably wantfood.
Chaandani Khan (04:08):
See, I wish I wish that I kind of like
naturally was set that way and Ihad to work to make myself eat.
I'm like, no, it's justtemptation.
If there are cakes out, uh, it'sjust over.
So um, we uh we should also justtouch on hydration.
Um, you know, it's superimportant to stay hydrated.
Um, whether you're drinkingwater, whether you're in putting
electrolytes into your diet, um,Celtic salt as well.
(04:30):
That's something maybe you couldspeak to a little bit.
That's a tip that myacupuncturist gave me.
Um, and this is right in yourrealm, so I will not I will not
do it justice the way you will.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (04:39):
Oh no, I mean, one of my secret ingredients for
my gluten-free chocolate chipcookies is this really specific
pink salt that I get.
Chaandani Khan (04:47):
Oh, okay.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (04:48):
Yeah, it's by Premier Research Labs, and it's
a mix of um Hawaiian pink saltand Himalayan sea salt.
It's this gorgeous pink color.
It's so flavorful, it has lotsof natural minerals in it.
Um, but that is that's my secretingredient, not just for my
cookie recipe, but foreverything I cook.
Chaandani Khan (05:07):
Um I love salt.
Good to know.
Good to know.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (05:12):
Yeah.
But the other thing I find isthat when the weather gets
colder, a lot of times people'snatural inclination to drink
water goes down because uh it'seasier to feel thirsty when it's
hot out and when we know thatwe're just kind of sweaty.
And so I find usually in again,being in Minnesota now, um, a
lot of times people start comingin in November and they're
(05:35):
having dehydration symptomsbecause they have stopped
drinking water now that it'scolder out.
So that's something that I oftenbring people's awareness to is
just because it's cold out, youstill need to stay hydrated for
sure.
Chaandani Khan (05:49):
Absolutely.
And you know, so drinking a lotof water and being hydrated was
something that I alwayspracticed prior to my brain
injury.
Um, the types of workout that Ilove to do, they're in heated
studios, like very hot, 40degrees Celsius, of course,
because I'm speaking, you know,from Canada over here.
Um, so very, very hottemperature.
And we're, you know, we're doingcardio, we're lifting weights,
we're doing body weights.
(06:09):
It's it's a very immersiveworkout.
And I you you definitely noticea difference if you are hydrated
versus if you are not hydratedenough in type in classes like
that.
So then, you know, I that's whatI was used to.
I had my brain injury, you know,a lot of things in my system
just got all muddled, allconfused.
Um, and then I actively startedpulling in, staying hydrated
back into my diet and back intomy body, you know, just
(06:32):
understanding how good that isfor your brain and how often we
do need hydration.
And now at this point in time,I'm happy to say and hope to
inspire others by saying thatdrinking um two to three liters
of water a day is just my norm.
It's just simply I've justformed a habit.
I made a choice again, very muchhow I chose to start speaking my
truth.
I just made a choice one daywhere I'm like, this is my
habit, this is how I show up.
(06:52):
I bought a very large waterbottle so I can just, with
numbers on it, with you know,the measurements, so I can just
track how much I'm drinking.
And and I honestly think thatthis has been very helpful for
me personally in my recoveryperiod as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (07:04):
I think too, uh, obviously, this being a holiday
podcast, lots of people aretraveling during the holidays.
And I think it's also um aninclination if somebody is
flying or in a long car ride tomaybe not drink as much as they
normally would.
And so it is it's very easy toget dehydrated if people are
flying.
And that's where you have toreally pay extra attention of
(07:26):
staying hydrated.
Chaandani Khan (07:27):
You really do.
And I just I like I know I knowpeople, I've traveled with
people who say, Oh, it's a longflight, I'm just not going to
drink anything.
I could think of nothing worsefrom a skin health perspective,
even your skin health.
My gosh, I could go down a wholerabbit hole again in this
domain, but flying is actuallyextraordinarily drying in your
entire system, including yourskin health.
So, you know, I'm that personwho's just just throwing back
(07:48):
water the whole flight, youknow, preferably sitting in an
aisle, so I'm not interruptinganybody.
But you know what?
There's another strategy, right?
Dr. Ayla Wolf (07:56):
That is always my strategy, is I always get an
aisle C because I go, I know I'mnot gonna be on this four-hour
flight and not need to get up.
Chaandani Khan (08:03):
Yeah, either to have like a little stretch or
even even honestly to have alittle brain break.
Um, flying is a topic that thatI I speak to quite a lot in in
the PPCS community, in means ofhaving conversations with
people, opening eyes, providingstrategies that can be
extraordinarily challenging onyour body for so many reasons.
So maybe I'll leave it here fornow, just agreeing that an aisle
seat, if possible, is alwaysgreat.
(08:25):
You can have a little physicalstretch, you can have a brain
break, you can just moveyourself if there's some
stimulation from a lot ofscreens around you.
There's a lot of good that cancome from that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (08:33):
Well, let's talk about kind of ways that you can
protect your nervous systemduring, again, super busy time.
Chaandani Khan (08:40):
So, do you wanna do you wanna kick this one off?
Yeah, yeah, I would like to.
I mean, one thing that I like todo, and I think works really
well for a lot of people, is toactually start with a reset
before going to any events orany types of gatherings.
So this could be, let's say youhave your day, and maybe in your
day you're working.
Maybe in your day you're notworking right now, but you've
(09:01):
gardened a little bit, you'vedone some hobbies, you've done a
little bit of cooking orcleaning, some things around the
house.
It's really, really a greatpractice to carve time again,
some like downtime into your daybetween the activities that
you're doing during the day andwhere you intend to go, let's
say later on in the evening.
So if you take a moment, thereare different practices that
work well for different people.
(09:22):
Um, for some people, I'mpracticing some gentle yoga or
even some stretching.
Maybe you have a yoga mat, youlay on the ground, maybe you
don't, and you just lay on yourcarpet and just some gentle
movements for your body.
You could go onto YouTube, youcould just search gentle
stretches, gentle movement,gentle yoga, and be able to
follow along if you're notreally sure how to move your
body.
Um, you can engage in somebreathing practices.
(09:44):
Um, box breathing is somethingthat you know helps to calm the
system down.
The whole point of what you'redoing is really just to take
yourself from a space of yourbrain really interacting with
your environment in your day andjust firing all different ways
into a calming space to be ableto kind of reset yourself, feel
a sense of calm, and really justkind of ground yourself before
(10:04):
going out into the world againto experience different types of
um uh stimulation.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (10:10):
And I think that could even be, you know, if you
are driving to an event, justtaking five to ten minutes to
sit in your car before you go inand just kind of have a moment
where you're not immediately,you know, like you didn't just
drive through traffic and thenjump out of your car and then
run into the building.
It's like, let's just get a sometransition time.
Chaandani Khan (10:31):
Absolutely.
That makes a big difference.
And, you know, I I evenrecommend if you're worried
about pulling up in front ofsomeone's house and having
someone see you sitting there,or God forbid, someone's like,
hey, you're here already whenyou're just trying to take your
little five, 10 minutemeditation.
Just park down the block.
Or if you're going somewherewith a parking lot, just park
somewhere else for a little bit,center yourself, and then off
(10:51):
you go.
And again, this might sound likea small strategy and it might
not sound like it does a lot,but I think a lot of people do
notice a bit of a differencewhen they're able to show up for
themselves and and find thatfeeling of of calmness again.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
And it's easy to kind of justget caught up in go, go, go, go,
go.
And then sometimes you don'teven pause to even ask yourself,
you know, how do I want to showup in this moment?
And so giving yourself thattransition of just saying, you
know, what do I want to get outof this event?
How do I want to show up formyself, for other people?
(13:47):
Uh, that can just have a hugeimpact on how the rest of the
night goes.
Chaandani Khan (13:51):
It really can.
And especially if you're in aspace where maybe your day's
been busy, maybe you're feelingyou're just like, go, go, go,
go, just kind of one of thosemoments, or even if your system
is telling you it's, you know,your system is activated, which
happens quite often.
Whole other conversation here aswell.
But if you are feeling thatinternally, whether from your
external environment, yourinternal body, you know, it's
easy to get caught up in theadrenaline trap where you're
(14:12):
just in this like go, go, gocycle and you want to have a day
and then drive your car and thenget to an event and you're just
you're operating up here, forexample, you know, that can
often mask fatigue.
Fatigue is often underlyingthese types of moments where you
feel you're most activated.
So by taking a moment in yourcar, just like what you're
suggested, Ayla, like that'sreally important, just to kind
of check in with yourself.
And if you are operating, Ialways I'm very visual.
(14:35):
So for myself, I always refer toit as operating up here, like
above my head.
For those who are justlistening, I'm holding my hand,
I'm waving it above my head.
But if you're feeling that, justkind of bringing yourself back
down and again, centeringgrounding can be really helpful,
help to help you extend yourenergy that you have when you
get to your next um activity.
Um, but also just know maybetonight I only have an hour in
(14:56):
me and then I need to takemyself home.
I need to have my downtime.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (15:00):
Yeah.
And the other thing that kind ofpiggybacks right on that is
maintaining that consistentsleep routine.
So if people know that they haveto travel or that they're gonna
go to an event that's a long carride, you know, it's it's often
that we do end up getting oursleep schedule interrupted with
all these different holidayplans.
(15:21):
And so I think like just doingyour best to still, you know,
whether that means excusingyourself early, you know, and uh
not taking an hour and a half tosay goodbye to everybody, but
really just saying, okay, likeI've met my limit, and I also
know that if I stay up too late,I'm gonna pay for it the next
day.
Just one more excuse to kind ofset those kind of limitate time
(15:44):
limitations on how long am Igonna be here, how long does it
take me to get home?
I'm and for me, you know, I I nolonger stay up until midnight on
New Year's Eve because my sleepactually is more important than
watching a ball drop.
Chaandani Khan (15:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Yo, no, entirely fair.
And, you know, as you're sharingthis, I'm just I'm so deeply
resonating.
As again, I think of myapproaching holidays.
Um, that's exactly it.
And and it's not to say thatthis is easy.
These are not necessarily easythings by any stretch, but it is
an active choice that you canmake for yourself.
And once you get into a patternof carving out downtime, whether
it's, you know, little restperiods in your day, meditation
(16:19):
periods in your day, whetherit's, you know, putting a whole
day of non-socializing between,you know, activities, etc., once
you get into that pattern, itfeels really good.
It's kind of like going to thegym.
When you're in that pattern andyour body's used to it, you feel
like when you don't go, you'relike, ah, I need to be there.
You know, you develop that needalmost.
It's kind of like that withdowntime.
(16:39):
And like you're saying, likethat's really powerful what you
just shared, that you don't stayup till 12 on New Year's
anymore.
That's something that, you know,like what a powerful choice you
can make for your system.
And it really just speaks to howyou prioritize your needs.
That's huge.
We give you snaps for that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (16:55):
I would much rather wake up and start my new
year not hungover and not sleepdeprived.
I'm like, let's start this newyear out on the right foot.
Chaandani Khan (17:04):
I know.
Let's start this new yearwithout the mask, right?
Let's just feel good becausewe've made good decisions for
ourselves.
Like that, it's so powerful whatyou're saying.
I got so lit up by these kindsof conversations.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (17:19):
Well, and part of it too is you know, not not
having FOMO.
Like I don't feel like I'm Idon't feel like I'm missing out
by you know making thesechoices.
I really feel like I'm choosingme, and then therefore I don't
feel like I'm I'm missing out onsomething else.
Chaandani Khan (17:33):
That and I know from the inside that that is a
whole process, learning to letgo of the feeling of FOMO,
especially as a high performing,um, type A, high achiever, high
capacity kind of a person.
I know that so well from theinside.
And I know that from speaking topeople like yourself as well as
tons of others who have gonethrough this brain injury
experience with that umpersonality, we'll say, um, that
that's a process.
(17:54):
And that's something that, oh,in my, in my, in my personal
case, I'm like, oh my gosh.
Like I just think about thelevel of FOMO that I first felt
because I was used to being.
I used to work in the eventsindustry.
I was always flying to a newcity, I was working 12 hour plus
days, I was always interactingwith a high volume of people.
When I was home, I was hosting,I was busy, I was with friends,
I had sports, like just goingfrom that, you know, and then
(18:17):
experiencing a level of FOMOwhen none of that had a place in
my life for a while, right?
It was a whole process.
And so it's really beautiful tohear you speak at this point in
time from a place that is sogrounded, and you're like, I
don't experience FOMO.
And and I can say I don't eitheranymore.
That's something that I havetotally worked through very
intentionally over the years.
(18:39):
And it's a beautiful place to bein.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (18:42):
Yeah.
And it it's also that internalmental switch of saying, if I
instead of feeling like I'mmissing out on something out
here, I'm I'm I'm not missingout on an opportunity to take
care of myself.
And so flipping that switch andsaying, I don't feel FOMO
because I actually feel goodabout my choice of doing
(19:03):
something that's healthy for memeans that I can actually not be
feeling depressed or upset aboutmy choices because I'm actually
choosing me.
I'm choosing my health.
Chaandani Khan (19:14):
Yes, and you're not losing what are you gaining?
In your case, you're gaining thevery start of the year, feeling
fresh, feeling ready to go,feeling however you feel, you
know, on that day when you wakeup.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, I think a lot of a lot ofwhat we're sharing, there's been
an underpinning of mindset, ofshifting mindset.
And this is something that aftera brain injury, I like to
(19:36):
describe it as an invitationdescends upon you and upon your
life really to take a look atwhere your mindset has been for
X amount of years, where it isnow, and the places that you
could take it.
Because mindset underpins a lotof recovery.
And I'm not sitting here sayingthat we know we don't need
medical professionals.
(19:56):
No, no, no, that's not it.
Please pull in everything thatyou think will help you in your
recovery period.
Absolutely.
But I just want to say thatmindset plays such a big role,
whether it's, you know, healingpsychologically, emotionally, in
my belief, I feel that, youknow, to a certain extent,
mindset does have a role andeven physical recovery as well.
Um, again, I won't take us downthat rabbit hole, but but I just
(20:19):
want to speak to the concept ofmindset.
And I know that this issomething that is important to
you as well.
And maybe you can talk a littlebit about what showing up means.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (20:29):
Yeah, I think that for some people who maybe
know that a certain event isjust gonna be way too much for
them, you there are still waysto show up without physically
showing up.
Whether that means sending abouquet of flowers or a card or
just calling somebody andsaying, I would love to be
there, but here's why I can'tmake it tonight.
(20:50):
And and so rather than notcommunicating with the person
who invited you, maybe it's justa moment of, hey, I'd love to
connect with you some othertime, you know, where we can
catch up and have quality timetogether, but I just can't show
up to this big party that you'rethrowing.
And so it can be a way of beingauthentic, being honest, having
(21:11):
good communication, and thenfinding a different way of being
able to hang out with thatparticular person or group of
people in a different setting ata different time.
Chaandani Khan (21:21):
I love that idea.
I think that is such a goodstrategy, just extending that
olive branch too, and justsaying, hey, but like what about
we do something?
You know, it's another thing Imight add on to that as well.
If you are trying out thisstrategy, to be fair, this can
be received in many differentways.
And that's something that wecan't control for.
All we can control for isshowing up for ourselves,
(21:41):
speaking for what we need, andand being as compassionate and
loving and supportive as you canwhen you're expressing this to
someone, right?
That's at least that's how I seeit internally for me.
Um, it can be received indifferent ways.
I think that your strategy isincredible, just offering, you
know, another date where it'sjust the two of you to hang out
or go do something, maybefestive, maybe not.
Um, but you know, sometimes I'veI've found it really helpful
(22:04):
again when I was in the depthsof my struggles and just really
had very low capacity to reallyexplain to people or give more
context or give more than I'm sosorry, I can't make it, but I
hope you have a great time.
Sometimes that was even a lotfor me, just depending on where
I was and my level of struggle.
That day.
That year.
I found it really helpfulfinding something.
(22:24):
Now I shared this on a differentpodcast I spoke on, and I was
very careful.
I think it did a good job bybeing very careful to kind of
pull this apart.
And I'm going to do that againtoday.
So I'm not suggesting bold-facedlying is the way to run your
life or to run your recovery.
But I am suggesting thatsometimes in certain occasions,
if you feel that, you know, byshowing up for yourself, let's
(22:46):
say you can't make it tosomeone's event, and it's really
important for them to have youthere, sometimes finding
something that will help themrelate with your state is okay.
Perhaps in I'm kind of dancingaround the concept of a white
lie, but just in a way to beable to cushion it.
For example, I'm so sorry Ican't make it today.
I have a really bad headache,and being in that environment
(23:08):
will just set set it off evenfurther.
Something like that that is sounderstandable, and you might
have a bad headache, but also onthat day, you might not.
And I think that it is okay justto think about other symptoms
that you've experienced beforeand bring those into the
conversation if that helpssomeone to understand.
And I mean this from a very, youknow, maybe it's a bit of a hot
(23:29):
take what I'm sharing, and Godforbid this clip is just used
and there's no context behindit.
However, I, you know, I'm gonnaneed her white lies.
Okay, well, perfect.
There we are.
There's the clip, and it's justme laughing.
I'm like, perfect.
No, but but I mean, you know, Ineed a better way of describing
it because I I I don't I I don'teven think that it's quite a
white lie.
(23:49):
Like that's not quite theconcept.
It's just a means of saying, youknow, for me, like, and I did I
did pull this in um when acouple times when, you know,
somebody was really offendedthat I wasn't able to go and I'd
be like, I'm so sorry.
If and the truth is that I was aperson for years, I experienced
headaches that would not go awayfor three days, four days, five
days.
By day four or five, I was justat my wit's end.
(24:10):
And so it was very muchrealistic to say and to share
that with somebody.
I will leave it at that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (24:15):
Well, I think what what I was thinking about
as you were talking, um, beforeI had my back surgery, I had low
back pain every single day forseven and a half years of my
life.
Oh, that's a lot.
It was, yeah.
And there were some days where Icould handle it better than
other days.
And I think that's kind of whatyou're speaking to, where when
you've got a daily headache or aheadache that's practically
(24:37):
every day, on the days when youdon't have that headache, you
kind of don't want to dosomething that's gonna bring the
headache back, right?
Chaandani Khan (24:43):
That's exactly it.
If we could stitch what I saidtogether with what you're
saying, there we are.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (24:49):
Yeah, yeah.
It took us a while to get there,but I that's that's really I
think what I was hearing you sayis that I know what it's like to
have chronic symptoms.
Yes.
And then you on some days yourability to handle them is just
there, and on other days it isnot.
And so I know what that is like,I know what that feels like.
And so some people just you havethat day where you're saying, I
(25:13):
just don't want to rock theboat.
I just I don't want to exhaustmyself further because I I I
just my energy is not there.
My ability to tolerate this isnot there.
Chaandani Khan (25:23):
Absolutely.
No, that was so eloquently said,that's exactly it.
And people who have everexperienced chronic pain, like
they will hear this and theywill instantly know what we're
both talking about.
They'll just say, yep.
And it's such a fine linebecause generally, you know,
like there are occasions whereyou you love someone and you
want to be there and you want tobe at their event, you want to
support them.
That's important.
You've committed how long weeksago, for example.
But then you're in this momentwhere you're like, exactly what
(25:46):
you said.
You're like, well, if I do, whatyou know, this is finally like a
little moment of like a breakfrom the pain or from the
symptom, right?
So it's it can be a very finebalance to strike.
And it's kind of like a, yeah,every every occasion can look
very different.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (26:03):
Yeah.
And I think this also speaks toum, I mean, I don't want to get
too much into like gender, but Ithink a lot of women take on the
role of trying to make everybodyelse happy.
Yes.
And by just, you know, sayingyes to everything and feeling
the expectation of I have toshow up, I have to do this.
Um, I had a friend who just saidshe was telling a story about
(26:25):
how her sister just was like,you know what?
I'm just gonna show up forholidays like every other year
moving forward.
And and internally, she's like,if I told my mom I wasn't gonna
show up, she like her mind wouldexplode.
Like the expectation for her toshow up and cook for 25 people
(26:45):
was so strong that even just theconcept of not showing up was
like, oh no, that is that isn'tunacceptable on every level.
Chaandani Khan (26:53):
Absolutely.
I mean, yeah, I I agree withyou, not going, I guess, super
deep into gender, but but therehave been I've had a lot of
conversations with women withconcussion, like along these
exact lines of what you and yourfriend just talked about, and
just how you know society hasthere's societal programming in
everybody in different ways,regardless of gender, of where
you grew up, how you grew up,you've just been programmed in
different ways, whether or notyou realize it.
(27:13):
And and that's a that's amassive one.
And I, you know, when you firstsaid what she had shared, like
every second year, I was like,wow, that's wow, that's
beautiful.
Look at that personal space, butbut this is a perfect example if
we kind of go back to the firstthing we were just talking
about, of how your decisionshowing up for what you need and
what will serve you best canreally ruffle feathers and
(27:34):
needing to find some kind oflike middle ground and how you
explain it or how you share it,or you know, how you can make
that person still feel caredabout and loved, but also get
what you need for your ownhealth.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (27:45):
Yeah, and it all comes down to being just as kind
to yourself as you are toeverybody else that you're
taking care of.
I mean, it really comes down toto taking care of yourself, to
self-kindness, to not feelingguilty for not being able to
show up in the way that maybeyou think everybody else expects
you to show up.
Chaandani Khan (28:04):
Or that they tell you they expect you to show
up in.
Honestly, I'm kind of giggling,but it but it's true, right?
unknown (28:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Chaandani Khan (28:11):
Um, you know, and it's just will highlight as
well just how important it isto, like you're saying, to be
kind to yourself and just tothink before you go to events.
Like take a moment, whether it'sthe week before, the couple
hours before, just what will myevent look like?
What will this evening looklike?
What will this day look like?
How long, just thinking, likechecking in with yourself, where
am I at today?
How long can I stay for?
(28:32):
Will I, do I know the venue?
Is there an area that's quieter?
Oh, if I don't know the venue,okay, what's my maybe as soon as
I get in, I'll just do a quickloop around and I'll just check
it out and see like, you know,what's happening?
Is there a more hectic area?
Is there a quieter area?
Does this conference I'm goingto have a quiet room, for
example?
That's something that's veryimportant to me.
And always look for that.
Always talk to the organizersabout, right?
(28:52):
Um, and just know what your exitstrategy is.
Just know approximately how longyou'll be there and hold
yourself to it.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (28:59):
Yeah, I love that concept of the exit strategy.
Uh, and know how how you'regonna get home, who's your ride,
are you driving, what are youroptions, and uh, you know,
sometimes setting that timeframe and and then being
flexible too.
Like if you get somewhere andyou thought that you could be
there for two hours, but afterone hour, you're like, ooh, I'm
(29:19):
really not feeling great.
Chaandani Khan (29:21):
That's huge.
That that type of flexibility ismassive.
That's again along the lines oflike actively choosing yourself
and your needs and potentiallyyour next day, your next few
days as well.
You know, and and and I thinkit's you know, it we can't
leave, we can't leave withouttalking about the importance of
small, sorry, talking about theimportance of celebrating your
(29:41):
small wins.
I like to talk about winstacking a lot and just how
important that is.
And, you know, when you thinkabout this in a holiday context,
it can look a lot of differentways.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (29:51):
Well, and it kind of brings us all the way back to
the beginning of ourconversation where you just said
you were in New York City andyou were able to look back and
say, wow, like I can do so muchmore here and be comfortable in
my own skin than I could have ayear ago.
That's a huge win.
Chaandani Khan (30:07):
That's oh, that's massive, exactly.
That massive, massive.
I mean, a year ago, two yearsago, three, like it wouldn't
have been possible for me, noteven a remote possibility for
the first couple years after myinjury.
And, you know, if that's that'sin a you know, more broad, like
much broader sort ofperspective.
But if we look at maybe like theholiday season, you know, if you
are able to, maybe you're ableto attend an event for half an
(30:28):
hour, try to find a win in that.
Did you have a good time?
Did you connect with someone?
Did you reconnect with somebody?
Did you laugh?
Did you make a great personal orprofessional connection there?
Did you eat a really good pieceof piece of cake?
In my mind, that is always awin.
And I'm not even joking.
People who know me really well,when they hear this, they'll be
like, Yeah, that's on brand.
Um, but but really just tryingto drive the point home that,
(30:50):
you know, the the way that maybeyou used to show up by saying I
go to an entire event and I talkat it and I meet X amount of
people and I take these meetingson after, for example, maybe
like revisiting what successlooks like is an important thing
before really even dropping intothe full holiday season.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (31:09):
And I think it's easy to forget where somebody
was, you know, a year ago fromwhere they are now.
And so sometimes that that justtaking that time to reflect can
also really highlight thosewins.
And, you know, in in mypractice, it's really common
where somebody comes in andthey've got, you know, a list of
(31:29):
20 different complaints, right?
And maybe this the second theirshoulder pain goes away, all of
a sudden they're not coming inthe next time saying, Oh my
gosh, I'm so happy my shoulderpain's gone.
They come in and they say, Oh,my knee really hurts.
And so it's, I mean, we're we'rewired to always, especially when
you're going to the like adoctor's appointment, right?
(31:50):
Or you're seeing a healthcareprofessional, the whole reason
you're there is because you'vegot something going on.
But as the health as thehealthcare professional on the
other side of that equation, Ido focus on the wins because
it's important for people tolook back and say, oh yeah, I
used to have horrible shoulderpain, I used to have horrible
hip pain, I used to have allthese aches and pains, and now
(32:12):
all of that's gone.
And the word like dealing withthis other thing, whether it's
new or whatever.
But it's, I mean, in mypractice, I'm constantly
encouraging people to celebratethe wins because it does say to
them, your body has the capacityto heal.
You had this pain, that pain isnow gone.
Like that's a win.
Chaandani Khan (32:33):
That's no, that's huge.
And it's so important to remindpeople of that.
Like that's it's a really goodpoint, you know, looking at the
from the practitioner lens andjust thinking about people
coming to you and just giving,you know, their list of their
ailments and their struggles.
And that's that applies to toeveryday life as well, really,
where you know, it can be veryeasy to become focused on, like
what's not working, what didn'twork today, what can't I do?
(32:54):
Oh my gosh, I just really usedto do this, now I'm not doing
this.
But when you're able to againlike employ that mindset, like
really take a look at yourselfand the way you're thinking,
like what's coming up?
What are you spending timefocusing on mentally?
You know, the phrase, um, it'snot mine, it's borrowed phrase,
but where focus goes, energyflows, right?
And so what you're engaging inby bringing in those small wins,
(33:14):
I think that that really helpsto kind of counteract where
someone's energy is goingoverall.
And I know this is a topic youand I could dive further into as
well as it's related to a fewother things we shared, but
really just want to likehighlight and underline the
concept of mindset and theimportant role that mindset
plays in your entire recovery.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (33:32):
Yeah.
And I think one of thetendencies that people have is
to pay a lot of attention to themoments where they have been
forgetful or where they forgetsomething.
And they but most people aren'tpatting themselves on the back
every time they rememberedsomething, right?
Yeah.
And so we can so easily forgetor not even bother to stop and
(33:52):
look back and say, Well, oh mygosh, look, I mean, I I
remembered this, I rememberedthat, I did this, I did that, I
did that.
And so that's something that Ihave developed for myself.
And in those moments where Imight be forgetful or I might
forget something, that is mythat I I literally take that as
an opportunity to pause and say,What did I remember today?
(34:12):
And then all of a sudden thatlist is a hundred times longer
than the list of things I mighthave forgotten.
Chaandani Khan (34:17):
Yes, it's so powerful.
This is where I dust off mysoapbox and I'm like, let's talk
mindset, let's talk personalgrowth, let's talk, you know,
per self-development, becausethat like these are strategies
that I'm not sure if you'vealways um shown up this way in
your life, but definitelythere's a commonality um
post-brain injury withindividuals who um are able to
(34:37):
get themselves into a place tolaunch into a personal growth
journey.
That is exactly what you'redescribing.
And, you know, uh one thing thatwas really, really useful for
me, and I still like to use hereand there, I'll go through kind
of like spurts of using it, is agratitude journal.
You can Google that, you can goto Amazon, you can find it in
places.
Um, it's incredible because itjust kind of helps you lay out
(34:58):
your day.
And, you know, you don't evenneed the journal.
You could just do a littlegratitude practice.
You know, even if you're havingwhether you had a great day, a
neutral day, or a reallydifficult day, it's so powerful
at the end of the day, maybe asyou're like lying in bed at
night, for example, just tothink, what are three great
things that happened to metoday?
What are three really awesomethings from my day?
What can I feel grateful for?
(35:20):
And I hear you on some days,there are times where you're
like, I can't even think of one.
But it's just kind of again likeshifting your mindset and and
thinking like outside the box.
Like it doesn't have to be amassive win.
One thing that for me wastotally game-changing was when I
was in a very difficult placeand I was struggling with all so
heavily symptomatic in so manyways cognitively.
(35:40):
I just was not functional.
Um, you know, what I went towas, oh, I had an amazing cup of
tea today.
And that is something that I'vecarried with me for years.
It sounds like a superficialtype of win.
No, I took that as like the mostdeep level of like gratitude,
just knowing that I was in aspace where I could feel like I
it conjured up a feeling of truegratitude to think about how
(36:01):
amazing that cup of tea was.
And that that was something thatI chose to close my day on.
And you can do that too.
Anyone can do that with anysmall little things as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (36:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
And those those opportunities tojust step outside of yourself
and to just do that check-in.
And and I think I know when Iwas a really kind of young
teenager, I think I had a verynegative self-talk.
Um, the thing that really turnedthat around for me was when I
started studying martial artsand I started doing an
individualized sport where myimprovement relied on me and me
(36:36):
only, you know, and I couldn't,I couldn't blame anybody else
for any, like for, you know, mylack of progress because it was
an individual sport.
And there was something aboutthat that really helped me shift
my mindset and take ownershipover the thoughts that I was
telling myself, over my myimprovement or my lack of
improvement, whatever it was.
(36:58):
But I think that over time Ihave gotten much more conscious
of the internal self-dialogue.
And like I said, when I have amoment where I start to get
frustrated because I maybeforgot something, and then I
start to go down that rabbithole of oh, my brain, I you
know, yeah, um, that's usuallythat is simply my check engine
(37:19):
light to say you're doing toomuch, you're stressing yourself
out, you're trying to take toomuch is on your plate, which is
kind of like that's true everyday of my life.
I've taken on too much, there'stoo much on my plate.
Um, and uh, but at the sametime, it's it's a check engine
light to say, what do I need todo for myself?
(37:39):
Rather than to beat myself up.
It is more of a okay, time timeto like say, what do I need?
Do I need to just make morelists?
Do I need to write things down?
Do I need to usually my answeris I need to slow down.
That's usually my answer.
Chaandani Khan (37:54):
Yeah, right, right.
And you know yourself well.
So you know that that's it'sit's cues as well.
It comes to a point of likelearning cues that come up.
You said it's a check enginelight.
There are all different cueslike this that can come up.
And you're at a point now whereit's it's so it's I love I love
hearing people who have anunderstanding of what that looks
like in their own body and intheir own life.
And like you said, you're like,that's your cue, that's my
slowdown cue, right?
(38:16):
Yeah, yeah, same.
Like when I start, my uh one cuethat I have for myself is when I
call them activity centers.
When I am really feeling strong,when I've taken on too much,
which sometimes I do, I reallytry actively not to, but
sometimes I do.
And I'm, you know, I just whenI'm in a space where I am
feeling cognitively mentallystrung out, I will have what I
(38:36):
refer to as little activitycenters where, you know, maybe
I'm sitting at home and I'mworking at my laptop, and then
all of a sudden I need to unloadthe dishwasher.
But also I should put laundry inand then I abandon that.
And next thing you know, I'mback at my laptop, but I'm also
thinking, do I need more tea?
It's those moments like for me,you know, or like I have like a
half-text message that's savedin drafts now that hasn't gone
out since the morning, likethat, that kind of space.
(38:57):
For me, when I notice that I'min my little activity center
space, that's when my cue whereI'm like, okay, I think I'm
actually a little more tiredthan like I was thinking that I
am.
And instantly my go-to is like,I will write a list of what
needs to be done or what mycenters are, so to say.
And then I'll be able to kind ofstructure my day accordingly and
be like, what needs to happennow?
What can wait?
Um, but that's something thatcame over time.
(39:19):
Definitely came over time.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (39:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I have the exact same thing thatyou just described.
Chaandani Khan (39:25):
The activity centers frequently.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (39:27):
And then usually my go-to is the same thing.
I go, you know what?
I need to stop and I need towrite a list so that I have
things I can check off my listto say, okay, I'm done with
that.
Yes.
My right now I'm trying to halffinish way too many things.
Chaandani Khan (39:42):
That's it.
That's it.
And just realizing like when allthose things are kind of
dangling half done, that's whenI'm like, oh no, I'm not
operating very well at all, eventhough I still probably my
system is just like it's it'soverstimulated.
I'm overstimulated.
You know, there's a bit ofdysregulation going on.
And by creating that list, Ifeel like that helps to bring um
some of it down and center itagain.
And I mean, you know, when yousaid that you relate with that
(40:03):
in my mind, I'm like, my innerrecovering A-type is singing.
Of course we like writing lists,you know.
Of course we do.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (40:10):
Of course we do.
And my favorite lists are onesthat posted notes where I can
rip them up after they're done.
Chaandani Khan (40:15):
Yes, as you say that, I have a pink, a green,
and a blue posted note postedback here.
It's is this you know, notes arelife, lists are life.
Ripping them up, being able toactually get rid of them
physically is really nice aswell.
Might also speak to growing upum writing lists versus like
digital lists, which Idefinitely do as well.
I like to blend them, but therejust is something about having a
(40:36):
paper list you can just trash,really honestly, when you're
done.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (40:42):
I I feel that way too.
There's something about justwriting it down versus uh, yeah,
I think that maybe speaks to myage that I prefer to write
things down and not haveeverything on a phone.
Chaandani Khan (40:52):
Myself as well.
Like that's what I'm saying, youknow.
Like, and it's and I don't know,there's something, there's
something about that.
But really, just what a powerfulstrategy to be able to create a
list for yourself and then andthen kind of move back into the
world from there.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (41:04):
Yeah, exactly.
A good little recentering.
It is, it is.
Well, oh my gosh, I think we'vecovered a lot, and hopefully
some of these insights will helpother people just to um bring
more attention to how theystructure their holidays.
Chaandani Khan (41:20):
Yes, yes, I I sure hope so.
And you know, even I also wishthat people who listen to this
who are struggling or who have abrain injury, you just want to
say like you don't have to doeverything that we talked about.
I just I hope that you don'tfeel I was gonna say, I wish
that you don't feel overwhelmedby this.
I hope that there is at leastone part that really resonates
and you're able to kind of pullthat into your practice for this
(41:41):
holiday season, however thatlooks for you.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (41:44):
Yeah.
And if you're listening and youhave something that's really
helped you, email us atlifeafterimpact at gmail.com
because we would love to sharethat with everybody else.
Chaandani Khan (41:53):
I love that idea.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
This is this has been it's soexciting.
It's something that is near anddear to my heart.
It's so exciting to talk about.
It's exciting the idea of beingable to share strategies that
hopefully help others as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (42:06):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I wish everybody a holidayfull of just good, deep,
heartfelt connection with lovedones, friends, family.
And with yourself.
Yes, yes, and with yourself.
Uh Wonderful.
Well, thank you so much,Chandani, for joining me and for
sharing all of your wisdom andinsights.
You're just so well spoken.
(42:27):
I love talking to you and I loveeverything you have to have to
share.
Chaandani Khan (42:31):
Thank you so much.
It's been a total delight.
Well, happy holiday to you.
Happy holidays.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (42:39):
Medical disclaimer.
This video or podcast is forgeneral informational purposes
only and does not constitute thepractice of medicine or other
professional healthcareservices, including the giving
of medical advice.
No doctor-patient relationshipis formed.
The use of this information andmaterials included is at the
(43:00):
user's own risk.
The content of this video orpodcast is not intended to be a
substitute for medical advice,diagnosis, or treatment, and
consumers of this informationshould seek the advice of a
medical professional for any andall health related issues.
A link to our full medicaldisclaimer is available in the
notes.
I like to describe it as an invitation
descends upon you and upon yourlife really to take a look at
where your mindset has been forha X amount of years, where it
is now, and the places that youcould take it.
Because mindset underpins a lotof recovery.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (00:18):
Welcome to Life After Impact, the Concussion
Recovery Podcast.
I'm Dr.
Ayla Wolfe, and I will behosting today's episode where we
help you navigate the oftenconfusing, frustrating, and
overwhelming journey ofconcussion and brain injury
recovery.
This podcast is your go-toresource for actionable
information, whether you'redealing with a recent
(00:39):
concussion, struggling withpost-concussion syndrome, or
just feeling stuck in yourhealing process.
In each episode, we dive deepinto the symptoms, testing,
treatments, and neurologicalinsights that can help you move
forward with clarity andconfidence.
We bring you leading experts inthe world of brain health,
functional neurology, andrehabilitation to share their
(01:01):
wisdom and strategies.
So if you're feeling lost,hopeless, or like no one
understands what you're goingthrough, know that you are not
alone.
This podcast can be your guideand partner in recovery, helping
you build a better life afterimpact.
This is part two of myconversation with John Denny
(01:23):
Khan about not just survivingthe holiday season, but thriving
this holiday season.
We hope you enjoy the episode.
Thanks again for listening andwishing you a very happy
holiday.
Some people, maybe before theirinjury, could easily skip a meal
and be fine, as turn in terms oftheir brain's ability to
(01:45):
maintain stable blood sugarlevels.
But after a after a braininjury, the brain's ability to
control blood sugar can beaffected.
And our brain is literallyeating up 20% of all of our
glucose needs, right?
Or like our brain needs glucose.
And that idea of energymetabolism, it can be
interrupted and it can get alittle off track after a brain
(02:08):
injury.
And so some people might reallystruggle with blood sugar levels
and not recognize that if theymaybe were used to skipping
breakfast or if they were usedto being able to go six hours
without eating, now they'rewondering why am I getting a
headache?
Why do I feel nauseous?
Why do I feel dizzy?
And it does might not even occurto them like, oh, well, I
(02:29):
haven't eaten for six to eighthours.
Right.
And maybe they could get awaywith that before, but not now.
Chaandani Khan (02:35):
That's the thing, is it's it's really,
again, it's really opening yourmind to I was functioning a
certain way before my injury.
How is my body functioning rightnow?
And that certainly doesn't meanthat you will be functioning in
this way forevermore.
It's just right now, what canyou do?
What can you pull into yourexistence that will help your
give your body what it needsduring this critical time of
recovery?
Dr. Ayla Wolf (02:54):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So I think those are those arebig ones.
Is it's like wherever you'regoing, maybe show up with your
own, your own food, your ownbeverages if you're concerned
that there might not besomething that's good for you at
whatever you're going to.
Yeah.
And then maybe even eatingbefore you go.
I think we've all had thatexperience of, okay, well, I'm
(03:15):
just, I think that we're goingto eat dinner at five, but then
you get somewhere and all of asudden dinner's not ready until
eight.
And so now you're just starving.
Chaandani Khan (03:23):
Yes.
And now you're starving.
And if and if you're strugglingwith your brain, that's just a
whole other level as well thatwe don't even need to go into.
You know what?
I I actually I've done that, Idefinitely have done that
before.
And I've done that sometimesbefore certain networking events
where like I will specificallyeat a little bit, um, you know,
to keep my energy up, but alsolike secretly, if there are
(03:43):
really good snackies out, I'm aperson who's going to want to
beeline for them.
So it's it's a fine balancebetween networking and chatting
with actually eating.
So, you know, multi-use um thatstrategy.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (03:54):
Yeah.
And I'm the opposite.
When I'm at a public event, Idon't like eating.
And so usually for me, I knowthat I need to eat something
before I go because I'm verylikely, if I know I'm going to
be socializing, I probably wantfood.
Chaandani Khan (04:08):
See, I wish I wish that I kind of like
naturally was set that way and Ihad to work to make myself eat.
I'm like, no, it's justtemptation.
If there are cakes out, uh, it'sjust over.
So um, we uh we should also justtouch on hydration.
Um, you know, it's superimportant to stay hydrated.
Um, whether you're drinkingwater, whether you're in putting
electrolytes into your diet, um,Celtic salt as well.
(04:30):
That's something maybe you couldspeak to a little bit.
That's a tip that myacupuncturist gave me.
Um, and this is right in yourrealm, so I will not I will not
do it justice the way you will.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (04:39):
Oh no, I mean, one of my secret ingredients for
my gluten-free chocolate chipcookies is this really specific
pink salt that I get.
Chaandani Khan (04:47):
Oh, okay.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (04:48):
Yeah, it's by Premier Research Labs, and it's
a mix of um Hawaiian pink saltand Himalayan sea salt.
It's this gorgeous pink color.
It's so flavorful, it has lotsof natural minerals in it.
Um, but that is that's my secretingredient, not just for my
cookie recipe, but foreverything I cook.
Chaandani Khan (05:07):
Um I love salt.
Good to know.
Good to know.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (05:12):
Yeah.
But the other thing I find isthat when the weather gets
colder, a lot of times people'snatural inclination to drink
water goes down because uh it'seasier to feel thirsty when it's
hot out and when we know thatwe're just kind of sweaty.
And so I find usually in again,being in Minnesota now, um, a
lot of times people start comingin in November and they're
(05:35):
having dehydration symptomsbecause they have stopped
drinking water now that it'scolder out.
So that's something that I oftenbring people's awareness to is
just because it's cold out, youstill need to stay hydrated for
sure.
Chaandani Khan (05:49):
Absolutely.
And you know, so drinking a lotof water and being hydrated was
something that I alwayspracticed prior to my brain
injury.
Um, the types of workout that Ilove to do, they're in heated
studios, like very hot, 40degrees Celsius, of course,
because I'm speaking, you know,from Canada over here.
Um, so very, very hottemperature.
And we're, you know, we're doingcardio, we're lifting weights,
we're doing body weights.
(06:09):
It's it's a very immersiveworkout.
And I you you definitely noticea difference if you are hydrated
versus if you are not hydratedenough in type in classes like
that.
So then, you know, I that's whatI was used to.
I had my brain injury, you know,a lot of things in my system
just got all muddled, allconfused.
Um, and then I actively startedpulling in, staying hydrated
back into my diet and back intomy body, you know, just
(06:32):
understanding how good that isfor your brain and how often we
do need hydration.
And now at this point in time,I'm happy to say and hope to
inspire others by saying thatdrinking um two to three liters
of water a day is just my norm.
It's just simply I've justformed a habit.
I made a choice again, very muchhow I chose to start speaking my
truth.
I just made a choice one daywhere I'm like, this is my
habit, this is how I show up.
(06:52):
I bought a very large waterbottle so I can just, with
numbers on it, with you know,the measurements, so I can just
track how much I'm drinking.
And and I honestly think thatthis has been very helpful for
me personally in my recoveryperiod as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (07:04):
I think too, uh, obviously, this being a holiday
podcast, lots of people aretraveling during the holidays.
And I think it's also um aninclination if somebody is
flying or in a long car ride tomaybe not drink as much as they
normally would.
And so it is it's very easy toget dehydrated if people are
flying.
And that's where you have toreally pay extra attention of
(07:26):
staying hydrated.
Chaandani Khan (07:27):
You really do.
And I just I like I know I knowpeople, I've traveled with
people who say, Oh, it's a longflight, I'm just not going to
drink anything.
I could think of nothing worsefrom a skin health perspective,
even your skin health.
My gosh, I could go down a wholerabbit hole again in this
domain, but flying is actuallyextraordinarily drying in your
entire system, including yourskin health.
So, you know, I'm that personwho's just just throwing back
(07:48):
water the whole flight, youknow, preferably sitting in an
aisle, so I'm not interruptinganybody.
But you know what?
There's another strategy, right?
Dr. Ayla Wolf (07:56):
That is always my strategy, is I always get an
aisle C because I go, I know I'mnot gonna be on this four-hour
flight and not need to get up.
Chaandani Khan (08:03):
Yeah, either to have like a little stretch or
even even honestly to have alittle brain break.
Um, flying is a topic that thatI I speak to quite a lot in in
the PPCS community, in means ofhaving conversations with
people, opening eyes, providingstrategies that can be
extraordinarily challenging onyour body for so many reasons.
So maybe I'll leave it here fornow, just agreeing that an aisle
seat, if possible, is alwaysgreat.
(08:25):
You can have a little physicalstretch, you can have a brain
break, you can just moveyourself if there's some
stimulation from a lot ofscreens around you.
There's a lot of good that cancome from that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (08:33):
Well, let's talk about kind of ways that you can
protect your nervous systemduring, again, super busy time.
Chaandani Khan (08:40):
So, do you wanna do you wanna kick this one off?
Yeah, yeah, I would like to.
I mean, one thing that I like todo, and I think works really
well for a lot of people, is toactually start with a reset
before going to any events orany types of gatherings.
So this could be, let's say youhave your day, and maybe in your
day you're working.
Maybe in your day you're notworking right now, but you've
(09:01):
gardened a little bit, you'vedone some hobbies, you've done a
little bit of cooking orcleaning, some things around the
house.
It's really, really a greatpractice to carve time again,
some like downtime into your daybetween the activities that
you're doing during the day andwhere you intend to go, let's
say later on in the evening.
So if you take a moment, thereare different practices that
work well for different people.
(09:22):
Um, for some people, I'mpracticing some gentle yoga or
even some stretching.
Maybe you have a yoga mat, youlay on the ground, maybe you
don't, and you just lay on yourcarpet and just some gentle
movements for your body.
You could go onto YouTube, youcould just search gentle
stretches, gentle movement,gentle yoga, and be able to
follow along if you're notreally sure how to move your
body.
Um, you can engage in somebreathing practices.
(09:44):
Um, box breathing is somethingthat you know helps to calm the
system down.
The whole point of what you'redoing is really just to take
yourself from a space of yourbrain really interacting with
your environment in your day andjust firing all different ways
into a calming space to be ableto kind of reset yourself, feel
a sense of calm, and really justkind of ground yourself before
(10:04):
going out into the world againto experience different types of
um uh stimulation.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (10:10):
And I think that could even be, you know, if you
are driving to an event, justtaking five to ten minutes to
sit in your car before you go inand just kind of have a moment
where you're not immediately,you know, like you didn't just
drive through traffic and thenjump out of your car and then
run into the building.
It's like, let's just get a sometransition time.
Chaandani Khan (10:31):
Absolutely.
That makes a big difference.
And, you know, I I evenrecommend if you're worried
about pulling up in front ofsomeone's house and having
someone see you sitting there,or God forbid, someone's like,
hey, you're here already whenyou're just trying to take your
little five, 10 minutemeditation.
Just park down the block.
Or if you're going somewherewith a parking lot, just park
somewhere else for a little bit,center yourself, and then off
(10:51):
you go.
And again, this might sound likea small strategy and it might
not sound like it does a lot,but I think a lot of people do
notice a bit of a differencewhen they're able to show up for
themselves and and find thatfeeling of of calmness again.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (13:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think so too.
And it's easy to kind of justget caught up in go, go, go, go,
go.
And then sometimes you don'teven pause to even ask yourself,
you know, how do I want to showup in this moment?
And so giving yourself thattransition of just saying, you
know, what do I want to get outof this event?
How do I want to show up formyself, for other people?
(13:47):
Uh, that can just have a hugeimpact on how the rest of the
night goes.
Chaandani Khan (13:51):
It really can.
And especially if you're in aspace where maybe your day's
been busy, maybe you're feelingyou're just like, go, go, go,
go, just kind of one of thosemoments, or even if your system
is telling you it's, you know,your system is activated, which
happens quite often.
Whole other conversation here aswell.
But if you are feeling thatinternally, whether from your
external environment, yourinternal body, you know, it's
easy to get caught up in theadrenaline trap where you're
(14:12):
just in this like go, go, gocycle and you want to have a day
and then drive your car and thenget to an event and you're just
you're operating up here, forexample, you know, that can
often mask fatigue.
Fatigue is often underlyingthese types of moments where you
feel you're most activated.
So by taking a moment in yourcar, just like what you're
suggested, Ayla, like that'sreally important, just to kind
of check in with yourself.
And if you are operating, Ialways I'm very visual.
(14:35):
So for myself, I always refer toit as operating up here, like
above my head.
For those who are justlistening, I'm holding my hand,
I'm waving it above my head.
But if you're feeling that, justkind of bringing yourself back
down and again, centeringgrounding can be really helpful,
help to help you extend yourenergy that you have when you
get to your next um activity.
Um, but also just know maybetonight I only have an hour in
(14:56):
me and then I need to takemyself home.
I need to have my downtime.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (15:00):
Yeah.
And the other thing that kind ofpiggybacks right on that is
maintaining that consistentsleep routine.
So if people know that they haveto travel or that they're gonna
go to an event that's a long carride, you know, it's it's often
that we do end up getting oursleep schedule interrupted with
all these different holidayplans.
(15:21):
And so I think like just doingyour best to still, you know,
whether that means excusingyourself early, you know, and uh
not taking an hour and a half tosay goodbye to everybody, but
really just saying, okay, likeI've met my limit, and I also
know that if I stay up too late,I'm gonna pay for it the next
day.
Just one more excuse to kind ofset those kind of limitate time
(15:44):
limitations on how long am Igonna be here, how long does it
take me to get home?
I'm and for me, you know, I I nolonger stay up until midnight on
New Year's Eve because my sleepactually is more important than
watching a ball drop.
Chaandani Khan (15:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Yo, no, entirely fair.
And, you know, as you're sharingthis, I'm just I'm so deeply
resonating.
As again, I think of myapproaching holidays.
Um, that's exactly it.
And and it's not to say thatthis is easy.
These are not necessarily easythings by any stretch, but it is
an active choice that you canmake for yourself.
And once you get into a patternof carving out downtime, whether
it's, you know, little restperiods in your day, meditation
(16:19):
periods in your day, whetherit's, you know, putting a whole
day of non-socializing between,you know, activities, etc., once
you get into that pattern, itfeels really good.
It's kind of like going to thegym.
When you're in that pattern andyour body's used to it, you feel
like when you don't go, you'relike, ah, I need to be there.
You know, you develop that needalmost.
It's kind of like that withdowntime.
(16:39):
And like you're saying, likethat's really powerful what you
just shared, that you don't stayup till 12 on New Year's
anymore.
That's something that, you know,like what a powerful choice you
can make for your system.
And it really just speaks to howyou prioritize your needs.
That's huge.
We give you snaps for that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (16:55):
I would much rather wake up and start my new
year not hungover and not sleepdeprived.
I'm like, let's start this newyear out on the right foot.
Chaandani Khan (17:04):
I know.
Let's start this new yearwithout the mask, right?
Let's just feel good becausewe've made good decisions for
ourselves.
Like that, it's so powerful whatyou're saying.
I got so lit up by these kindsof conversations.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (17:19):
Well, and part of it too is you know, not not
having FOMO.
Like I don't feel like I'm Idon't feel like I'm missing out
by you know making thesechoices.
I really feel like I'm choosingme, and then therefore I don't
feel like I'm I'm missing out onsomething else.
Chaandani Khan (17:33):
That and I know from the inside that that is a
whole process, learning to letgo of the feeling of FOMO,
especially as a high performing,um, type A, high achiever, high
capacity kind of a person.
I know that so well from theinside.
And I know that from speaking topeople like yourself as well as
tons of others who have gonethrough this brain injury
experience with that umpersonality, we'll say, um, that
that's a process.
(17:54):
And that's something that, oh,in my, in my, in my personal
case, I'm like, oh my gosh.
Like I just think about thelevel of FOMO that I first felt
because I was used to being.
I used to work in the eventsindustry.
I was always flying to a newcity, I was working 12 hour plus
days, I was always interactingwith a high volume of people.
When I was home, I was hosting,I was busy, I was with friends,
I had sports, like just goingfrom that, you know, and then
(18:17):
experiencing a level of FOMOwhen none of that had a place in
my life for a while, right?
It was a whole process.
And so it's really beautiful tohear you speak at this point in
time from a place that is sogrounded, and you're like, I
don't experience FOMO.
And and I can say I don't eitheranymore.
That's something that I havetotally worked through very
intentionally over the years.
(18:39):
And it's a beautiful place to bein.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (18:42):
Yeah.
And it it's also that internalmental switch of saying, if I
instead of feeling like I'mmissing out on something out
here, I'm I'm I'm not missingout on an opportunity to take
care of myself.
And so flipping that switch andsaying, I don't feel FOMO
because I actually feel goodabout my choice of doing
(19:03):
something that's healthy for memeans that I can actually not be
feeling depressed or upset aboutmy choices because I'm actually
choosing me.
I'm choosing my health.
Chaandani Khan (19:14):
Yes, and you're not losing what are you gaining?
In your case, you're gaining thevery start of the year, feeling
fresh, feeling ready to go,feeling however you feel, you
know, on that day when you wakeup.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, I think a lot of a lot ofwhat we're sharing, there's been
an underpinning of mindset, ofshifting mindset.
And this is something that aftera brain injury, I like to
(19:36):
describe it as an invitationdescends upon you and upon your
life really to take a look atwhere your mindset has been for
X amount of years, where it isnow, and the places that you
could take it.
Because mindset underpins a lotof recovery.
And I'm not sitting here sayingthat we know we don't need
medical professionals.
(19:56):
No, no, no, that's not it.
Please pull in everything thatyou think will help you in your
recovery period.
Absolutely.
But I just want to say thatmindset plays such a big role,
whether it's, you know, healingpsychologically, emotionally, in
my belief, I feel that, youknow, to a certain extent,
mindset does have a role andeven physical recovery as well.
Um, again, I won't take us downthat rabbit hole, but but I just
(20:19):
want to speak to the concept ofmindset.
And I know that this issomething that is important to
you as well.
And maybe you can talk a littlebit about what showing up means.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (20:29):
Yeah, I think that for some people who maybe
know that a certain event isjust gonna be way too much for
them, you there are still waysto show up without physically
showing up.
Whether that means sending abouquet of flowers or a card or
just calling somebody andsaying, I would love to be
there, but here's why I can'tmake it tonight.
(20:50):
And and so rather than notcommunicating with the person
who invited you, maybe it's justa moment of, hey, I'd love to
connect with you some othertime, you know, where we can
catch up and have quality timetogether, but I just can't show
up to this big party that you'rethrowing.
And so it can be a way of beingauthentic, being honest, having
(21:11):
good communication, and thenfinding a different way of being
able to hang out with thatparticular person or group of
people in a different setting ata different time.
Chaandani Khan (21:21):
I love that idea.
I think that is such a goodstrategy, just extending that
olive branch too, and justsaying, hey, but like what about
we do something?
You know, it's another thing Imight add on to that as well.
If you are trying out thisstrategy, to be fair, this can
be received in many differentways.
And that's something that wecan't control for.
All we can control for isshowing up for ourselves,
(21:41):
speaking for what we need, andand being as compassionate and
loving and supportive as you canwhen you're expressing this to
someone, right?
That's at least that's how I seeit internally for me.
Um, it can be received indifferent ways.
I think that your strategy isincredible, just offering, you
know, another date where it'sjust the two of you to hang out
or go do something, maybefestive, maybe not.
Um, but you know, sometimes I'veI've found it really helpful
(22:04):
again when I was in the depthsof my struggles and just really
had very low capacity to reallyexplain to people or give more
context or give more than I'm sosorry, I can't make it, but I
hope you have a great time.
Sometimes that was even a lotfor me, just depending on where
I was and my level of struggle.
That day.
That year.
I found it really helpfulfinding something.
(22:24):
Now I shared this on a differentpodcast I spoke on, and I was
very careful.
I think it did a good job bybeing very careful to kind of
pull this apart.
And I'm going to do that againtoday.
So I'm not suggesting bold-facedlying is the way to run your
life or to run your recovery.
But I am suggesting thatsometimes in certain occasions,
if you feel that, you know, byshowing up for yourself, let's
(22:46):
say you can't make it tosomeone's event, and it's really
important for them to have youthere, sometimes finding
something that will help themrelate with your state is okay.
Perhaps in I'm kind of dancingaround the concept of a white
lie, but just in a way to beable to cushion it.
For example, I'm so sorry Ican't make it today.
I have a really bad headache,and being in that environment
(23:08):
will just set set it off evenfurther.
Something like that that is sounderstandable, and you might
have a bad headache, but also onthat day, you might not.
And I think that it is okay justto think about other symptoms
that you've experienced beforeand bring those into the
conversation if that helpssomeone to understand.
And I mean this from a very, youknow, maybe it's a bit of a hot
(23:29):
take what I'm sharing, and Godforbid this clip is just used
and there's no context behindit.
However, I, you know, I'm gonnaneed her white lies.
Okay, well, perfect.
There we are.
There's the clip, and it's justme laughing.
I'm like, perfect.
No, but but I mean, you know, Ineed a better way of describing
it because I I I don't I I don'teven think that it's quite a
white lie.
(23:49):
Like that's not quite theconcept.
It's just a means of saying, youknow, for me, like, and I did I
did pull this in um when acouple times when, you know,
somebody was really offendedthat I wasn't able to go and I'd
be like, I'm so sorry.
If and the truth is that I was aperson for years, I experienced
headaches that would not go awayfor three days, four days, five
days.
By day four or five, I was justat my wit's end.
(24:10):
And so it was very muchrealistic to say and to share
that with somebody.
I will leave it at that.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (24:15):
Well, I think what what I was thinking about
as you were talking, um, beforeI had my back surgery, I had low
back pain every single day forseven and a half years of my
life.
Oh, that's a lot.
It was, yeah.
And there were some days where Icould handle it better than
other days.
And I think that's kind of whatyou're speaking to, where when
you've got a daily headache or aheadache that's practically
(24:37):
every day, on the days when youdon't have that headache, you
kind of don't want to dosomething that's gonna bring the
headache back, right?
Chaandani Khan (24:43):
That's exactly it.
If we could stitch what I saidtogether with what you're
saying, there we are.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (24:49):
Yeah, yeah.
It took us a while to get there,but I that's that's really I
think what I was hearing you sayis that I know what it's like to
have chronic symptoms.
Yes.
And then you on some days yourability to handle them is just
there, and on other days it isnot.
And so I know what that is like,I know what that feels like.
And so some people just you havethat day where you're saying, I
(25:13):
just don't want to rock theboat.
I just I don't want to exhaustmyself further because I I I
just my energy is not there.
My ability to tolerate this isnot there.
Chaandani Khan (25:23):
Absolutely.
No, that was so eloquently said,that's exactly it.
And people who have everexperienced chronic pain, like
they will hear this and theywill instantly know what we're
both talking about.
They'll just say, yep.
And it's such a fine linebecause generally, you know,
like there are occasions whereyou you love someone and you
want to be there and you want tobe at their event, you want to
support them.
That's important.
You've committed how long weeksago, for example.
But then you're in this momentwhere you're like, exactly what
(25:46):
you said.
You're like, well, if I do, whatyou know, this is finally like a
little moment of like a breakfrom the pain or from the
symptom, right?
So it's it can be a very finebalance to strike.
And it's kind of like a, yeah,every every occasion can look
very different.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (26:03):
Yeah.
And I think this also speaks toum, I mean, I don't want to get
too much into like gender, but Ithink a lot of women take on the
role of trying to make everybodyelse happy.
Yes.
And by just, you know, sayingyes to everything and feeling
the expectation of I have toshow up, I have to do this.
Um, I had a friend who just saidshe was telling a story about
(26:25):
how her sister just was like,you know what?
I'm just gonna show up forholidays like every other year
moving forward.
And and internally, she's like,if I told my mom I wasn't gonna
show up, she like her mind wouldexplode.
Like the expectation for her toshow up and cook for 25 people
(26:45):
was so strong that even just theconcept of not showing up was
like, oh no, that is that isn'tunacceptable on every level.
Chaandani Khan (26:53):
Absolutely.
I mean, yeah, I I agree withyou, not going, I guess, super
deep into gender, but but therehave been I've had a lot of
conversations with women withconcussion, like along these
exact lines of what you and yourfriend just talked about, and
just how you know society hasthere's societal programming in
everybody in different ways,regardless of gender, of where
you grew up, how you grew up,you've just been programmed in
different ways, whether or notyou realize it.
(27:13):
And and that's a that's amassive one.
And I, you know, when you firstsaid what she had shared, like
every second year, I was like,wow, that's wow, that's
beautiful.
Look at that personal space, butbut this is a perfect example if
we kind of go back to the firstthing we were just talking
about, of how your decisionshowing up for what you need and
what will serve you best canreally ruffle feathers and
(27:34):
needing to find some kind oflike middle ground and how you
explain it or how you share it,or you know, how you can make
that person still feel caredabout and loved, but also get
what you need for your ownhealth.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (27:45):
Yeah, and it all comes down to being just as kind
to yourself as you are toeverybody else that you're
taking care of.
I mean, it really comes down toto taking care of yourself, to
self-kindness, to not feelingguilty for not being able to
show up in the way that maybeyou think everybody else expects
you to show up.
Chaandani Khan (28:04):
Or that they tell you they expect you to show
up in.
Honestly, I'm kind of giggling,but it but it's true, right?
unknown (28:11):
Yeah, yeah.
Chaandani Khan (28:11):
Um, you know, and it's just will highlight as
well just how important it isto, like you're saying, to be
kind to yourself and just tothink before you go to events.
Like take a moment, whether it'sthe week before, the couple
hours before, just what will myevent look like?
What will this evening looklike?
What will this day look like?
How long, just thinking, likechecking in with yourself, where
am I at today?
How long can I stay for?
(28:32):
Will I, do I know the venue?
Is there an area that's quieter?
Oh, if I don't know the venue,okay, what's my maybe as soon as
I get in, I'll just do a quickloop around and I'll just check
it out and see like, you know,what's happening?
Is there a more hectic area?
Is there a quieter area?
Does this conference I'm goingto have a quiet room, for
example?
That's something that's veryimportant to me.
And always look for that.
Always talk to the organizersabout, right?
(28:52):
Um, and just know what your exitstrategy is.
Just know approximately how longyou'll be there and hold
yourself to it.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (28:59):
Yeah, I love that concept of the exit strategy.
Uh, and know how how you'regonna get home, who's your ride,
are you driving, what are youroptions, and uh, you know,
sometimes setting that timeframe and and then being
flexible too.
Like if you get somewhere andyou thought that you could be
there for two hours, but afterone hour, you're like, ooh, I'm
(29:19):
really not feeling great.
Chaandani Khan (29:21):
That's huge.
That that type of flexibility ismassive.
That's again along the lines oflike actively choosing yourself
and your needs and potentiallyyour next day, your next few
days as well.
You know, and and and I thinkit's you know, it we can't
leave, we can't leave withouttalking about the importance of
small, sorry, talking about theimportance of celebrating your
(29:41):
small wins.
I like to talk about winstacking a lot and just how
important that is.
And, you know, when you thinkabout this in a holiday context,
it can look a lot of differentways.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (29:51):
Well, and it kind of brings us all the way back to
the beginning of ourconversation where you just said
you were in New York City andyou were able to look back and
say, wow, like I can do so muchmore here and be comfortable in
my own skin than I could have ayear ago.
That's a huge win.
Chaandani Khan (30:07):
That's oh, that's massive, exactly.
That massive, massive.
I mean, a year ago, two yearsago, three, like it wouldn't
have been possible for me, noteven a remote possibility for
the first couple years after myinjury.
And, you know, if that's that'sin a you know, more broad, like
much broader sort ofperspective.
But if we look at maybe like theholiday season, you know, if you
are able to, maybe you're ableto attend an event for half an
(30:28):
hour, try to find a win in that.
Did you have a good time?
Did you connect with someone?
Did you reconnect with somebody?
Did you laugh?
Did you make a great personal orprofessional connection there?
Did you eat a really good pieceof piece of cake?
In my mind, that is always awin.
And I'm not even joking.
People who know me really well,when they hear this, they'll be
like, Yeah, that's on brand.
Um, but but really just tryingto drive the point home that,
(30:50):
you know, the the way that maybeyou used to show up by saying I
go to an entire event and I talkat it and I meet X amount of
people and I take these meetingson after, for example, maybe
like revisiting what successlooks like is an important thing
before really even dropping intothe full holiday season.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (31:09):
And I think it's easy to forget where somebody
was, you know, a year ago fromwhere they are now.
And so sometimes that that justtaking that time to reflect can
also really highlight thosewins.
And, you know, in in mypractice, it's really common
where somebody comes in andthey've got, you know, a list of
(31:29):
20 different complaints, right?
And maybe this the second theirshoulder pain goes away, all of
a sudden they're not coming inthe next time saying, Oh my
gosh, I'm so happy my shoulderpain's gone.
They come in and they say, Oh,my knee really hurts.
And so it's, I mean, we're we'rewired to always, especially when
you're going to the like adoctor's appointment, right?
(31:50):
Or you're seeing a healthcareprofessional, the whole reason
you're there is because you'vegot something going on.
But as the health as thehealthcare professional on the
other side of that equation, Ido focus on the wins because
it's important for people tolook back and say, oh yeah, I
used to have horrible shoulderpain, I used to have horrible
hip pain, I used to have allthese aches and pains, and now
(32:12):
all of that's gone.
And the word like dealing withthis other thing, whether it's
new or whatever.
But it's, I mean, in mypractice, I'm constantly
encouraging people to celebratethe wins because it does say to
them, your body has the capacityto heal.
You had this pain, that pain isnow gone.
Like that's a win.
Chaandani Khan (32:33):
That's no, that's huge.
And it's so important to remindpeople of that.
Like that's it's a really goodpoint, you know, looking at the
from the practitioner lens andjust thinking about people
coming to you and just giving,you know, their list of their
ailments and their struggles.
And that's that applies to toeveryday life as well, really,
where you know, it can be veryeasy to become focused on, like
what's not working, what didn'twork today, what can't I do?
(32:54):
Oh my gosh, I just really usedto do this, now I'm not doing
this.
But when you're able to againlike employ that mindset, like
really take a look at yourselfand the way you're thinking,
like what's coming up?
What are you spending timefocusing on mentally?
You know, the phrase, um, it'snot mine, it's borrowed phrase,
but where focus goes, energyflows, right?
And so what you're engaging inby bringing in those small wins,
(33:14):
I think that that really helpsto kind of counteract where
someone's energy is goingoverall.
And I know this is a topic youand I could dive further into as
well as it's related to a fewother things we shared, but
really just want to likehighlight and underline the
concept of mindset and theimportant role that mindset
plays in your entire recovery.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (33:32):
Yeah.
And I think one of thetendencies that people have is
to pay a lot of attention to themoments where they have been
forgetful or where they forgetsomething.
And they but most people aren'tpatting themselves on the back
every time they rememberedsomething, right?
Yeah.
And so we can so easily forgetor not even bother to stop and
(33:52):
look back and say, Well, oh mygosh, look, I mean, I I
remembered this, I rememberedthat, I did this, I did that, I
did that.
And so that's something that Ihave developed for myself.
And in those moments where Imight be forgetful or I might
forget something, that is mythat I I literally take that as
an opportunity to pause and say,What did I remember today?
(34:12):
And then all of a sudden thatlist is a hundred times longer
than the list of things I mighthave forgotten.
Chaandani Khan (34:17):
Yes, it's so powerful.
This is where I dust off mysoapbox and I'm like, let's talk
mindset, let's talk personalgrowth, let's talk, you know,
per self-development, becausethat like these are strategies
that I'm not sure if you'vealways um shown up this way in
your life, but definitelythere's a commonality um
post-brain injury withindividuals who um are able to
(34:37):
get themselves into a place tolaunch into a personal growth
journey.
That is exactly what you'redescribing.
And, you know, uh one thing thatwas really, really useful for
me, and I still like to use hereand there, I'll go through kind
of like spurts of using it, is agratitude journal.
You can Google that, you can goto Amazon, you can find it in
places.
Um, it's incredible because itjust kind of helps you lay out
(34:58):
your day.
And, you know, you don't evenneed the journal.
You could just do a littlegratitude practice.
You know, even if you're havingwhether you had a great day, a
neutral day, or a reallydifficult day, it's so powerful
at the end of the day, maybe asyou're like lying in bed at
night, for example, just tothink, what are three great
things that happened to metoday?
What are three really awesomethings from my day?
What can I feel grateful for?
(35:20):
And I hear you on some days,there are times where you're
like, I can't even think of one.
But it's just kind of again likeshifting your mindset and and
thinking like outside the box.
Like it doesn't have to be amassive win.
One thing that for me wastotally game-changing was when I
was in a very difficult placeand I was struggling with all so
heavily symptomatic in so manyways cognitively.
(35:40):
I just was not functional.
Um, you know, what I went towas, oh, I had an amazing cup of
tea today.
And that is something that I'vecarried with me for years.
It sounds like a superficialtype of win.
No, I took that as like the mostdeep level of like gratitude,
just knowing that I was in aspace where I could feel like I
it conjured up a feeling of truegratitude to think about how
(36:01):
amazing that cup of tea was.
And that that was something thatI chose to close my day on.
And you can do that too.
Anyone can do that with anysmall little things as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (36:11):
Yeah, absolutely.
And those those opportunities tojust step outside of yourself
and to just do that check-in.
And and I think I know when Iwas a really kind of young
teenager, I think I had a verynegative self-talk.
Um, the thing that really turnedthat around for me was when I
started studying martial artsand I started doing an
individualized sport where myimprovement relied on me and me
(36:36):
only, you know, and I couldn't,I couldn't blame anybody else
for any, like for, you know, mylack of progress because it was
an individual sport.
And there was something aboutthat that really helped me shift
my mindset and take ownershipover the thoughts that I was
telling myself, over my myimprovement or my lack of
improvement, whatever it was.
(36:58):
But I think that over time Ihave gotten much more conscious
of the internal self-dialogue.
And like I said, when I have amoment where I start to get
frustrated because I maybeforgot something, and then I
start to go down that rabbithole of oh, my brain, I you
know, yeah, um, that's usuallythat is simply my check engine
(37:19):
light to say you're doing toomuch, you're stressing yourself
out, you're trying to take toomuch is on your plate, which is
kind of like that's true everyday of my life.
I've taken on too much, there'stoo much on my plate.
Um, and uh, but at the sametime, it's it's a check engine
light to say, what do I need todo for myself?
(37:39):
Rather than to beat myself up.
It is more of a okay, time timeto like say, what do I need?
Do I need to just make morelists?
Do I need to write things down?
Do I need to usually my answeris I need to slow down.
That's usually my answer.
Chaandani Khan (37:54):
Yeah, right, right.
And you know yourself well.
So you know that that's it'sit's cues as well.
It comes to a point of likelearning cues that come up.
You said it's a check enginelight.
There are all different cueslike this that can come up.
And you're at a point now whereit's it's so it's I love I love
hearing people who have anunderstanding of what that looks
like in their own body and intheir own life.
And like you said, you're like,that's your cue, that's my
slowdown cue, right?
(38:16):
Yeah, yeah, same.
Like when I start, my uh one cuethat I have for myself is when I
call them activity centers.
When I am really feeling strong,when I've taken on too much,
which sometimes I do, I reallytry actively not to, but
sometimes I do.
And I'm, you know, I just whenI'm in a space where I am
feeling cognitively mentallystrung out, I will have what I
(38:36):
refer to as little activitycenters where, you know, maybe
I'm sitting at home and I'mworking at my laptop, and then
all of a sudden I need to unloadthe dishwasher.
But also I should put laundry inand then I abandon that.
And next thing you know, I'mback at my laptop, but I'm also
thinking, do I need more tea?
It's those moments like for me,you know, or like I have like a
half-text message that's savedin drafts now that hasn't gone
out since the morning, likethat, that kind of space.
(38:57):
For me, when I notice that I'min my little activity center
space, that's when my cue whereI'm like, okay, I think I'm
actually a little more tiredthan like I was thinking that I
am.
And instantly my go-to is like,I will write a list of what
needs to be done or what mycenters are, so to say.
And then I'll be able to kind ofstructure my day accordingly and
be like, what needs to happennow?
What can wait?
Um, but that's something thatcame over time.
(39:19):
Definitely came over time.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (39:21):
Yeah, yeah.
I have the exact same thing thatyou just described.
Chaandani Khan (39:25):
The activity centers frequently.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (39:27):
And then usually my go-to is the same thing.
I go, you know what?
I need to stop and I need towrite a list so that I have
things I can check off my listto say, okay, I'm done with
that.
Yes.
My right now I'm trying to halffinish way too many things.
Chaandani Khan (39:42):
That's it.
That's it.
And just realizing like when allthose things are kind of
dangling half done, that's whenI'm like, oh no, I'm not
operating very well at all, eventhough I still probably my
system is just like it's it'soverstimulated.
I'm overstimulated.
You know, there's a bit ofdysregulation going on.
And by creating that list, Ifeel like that helps to bring um
some of it down and center itagain.
And I mean, you know, when yousaid that you relate with that
(40:03):
in my mind, I'm like, my innerrecovering A-type is singing.
Of course we like writing lists,you know.
Of course we do.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (40:10):
Of course we do.
And my favorite lists are onesthat posted notes where I can
rip them up after they're done.
Chaandani Khan (40:15):
Yes, as you say that, I have a pink, a green,
and a blue posted note postedback here.
It's is this you know, notes arelife, lists are life.
Ripping them up, being able toactually get rid of them
physically is really nice aswell.
Might also speak to growing upum writing lists versus like
digital lists, which Idefinitely do as well.
I like to blend them, but therejust is something about having a
(40:36):
paper list you can just trash,really honestly, when you're
done.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (40:42):
I I feel that way too.
There's something about justwriting it down versus uh, yeah,
I think that maybe speaks to myage that I prefer to write
things down and not haveeverything on a phone.
Chaandani Khan (40:52):
Myself as well.
Like that's what I'm saying, youknow.
Like, and it's and I don't know,there's something, there's
something about that.
But really, just what a powerfulstrategy to be able to create a
list for yourself and then andthen kind of move back into the
world from there.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (41:04):
Yeah, exactly.
A good little recentering.
It is, it is.
Well, oh my gosh, I think we'vecovered a lot, and hopefully
some of these insights will helpother people just to um bring
more attention to how theystructure their holidays.
Chaandani Khan (41:20):
Yes, yes, I I sure hope so.
And you know, even I also wishthat people who listen to this
who are struggling or who have abrain injury, you just want to
say like you don't have to doeverything that we talked about.
I just I hope that you don'tfeel I was gonna say, I wish
that you don't feel overwhelmedby this.
I hope that there is at leastone part that really resonates
and you're able to kind of pullthat into your practice for this
(41:41):
holiday season, however thatlooks for you.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (41:44):
Yeah.
And if you're listening and youhave something that's really
helped you, email us atlifeafterimpact at gmail.com
because we would love to sharethat with everybody else.
Chaandani Khan (41:53):
I love that idea.
Thank you so much for thisconversation.
This is this has been it's soexciting.
It's something that is near anddear to my heart.
It's so exciting to talk about.
It's exciting the idea of beingable to share strategies that
hopefully help others as well.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (42:06):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I wish everybody a holidayfull of just good, deep,
heartfelt connection with lovedones, friends, family.
And with yourself.
Yes, yes, and with yourself.
Uh Wonderful.
Well, thank you so much,Chandani, for joining me and for
sharing all of your wisdom andinsights.
You're just so well spoken.
(42:27):
I love talking to you and I loveeverything you have to have to
share.
Chaandani Khan (42:31):
Thank you so much.
It's been a total delight.
Well, happy holiday to you.
Happy holidays.
Dr. Ayla Wolf (42:39):
Medical disclaimer.
This video or podcast is forgeneral informational purposes
only and does not constitute thepractice of medicine or other
professional healthcareservices, including the giving
of medical advice.
No doctor-patient relationshipis formed.
The use of this information andmaterials included is at the
(43:00):
user's own risk.
The content of this video orpodcast is not intended to be a
substitute for medical advice,diagnosis, or treatment, and
consumers of this informationshould seek the advice of a
medical professional for any andall health related issues.
A link to our full medicaldisclaimer is available in the
notes.
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