May 7, 2025 • 21 mins
Woody Whitelaw is one half of the KIIS Network Drive Time Show Will and Woody.
We talk parenting in this episode! How Woody parents his 2 year old daughter Remi, and Toni and Lisa share parenting tips with him.
There are 3 episodes with Woody all up.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Every day brings a new story. The life isn't perfect,
but it's perfectly ours, with raw conversations, inspiring stories and
laugh until you cry moments we hit him, I unpack
it all and figure it out together, one episode at
a time. This is Life as we Know It, Unfiltered
with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Drive Show co host Woody Whitelaw, who's one half of
The Will and Woody Show, joins us in this episode.
If you missed the last chat we had with him,
please make sure you check it out. Okay, in the meantime,
enjoy this episode. You said, Rennie's two Yeah, just turned two?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, two last October.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, So a lot of people talk about the terrible
twos at two years old. All of a sudden, these
kids have attitude. They can tell you what they think.
For me, personally, I hated that term terrible twos. Sure, okay,
it was a case of no no. This person all
of a sudden has discovered their personality, and they've discovered
that they can speak up and that they can have
(01:08):
an opinion, and if they don't want something, they're going
to say no.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So now that Remy is too obviously you're seeing that,
but are you also seeing signs of her personality? What
personality does she have?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
She's got sas, she's she's got sash, she's bossy, she's
strong like she's got some She's got two cousins, twin cousins,
and they're a little bit older than her.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
She like physically physically dominates them.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
She wants to, She tells.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Hilaric on his hands. Would you like me to give
your tips on how to deal with the hileric?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Please? How do I deal with this? But I love it?
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Because what do you sanguine?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, for sure, hilaric personality traits. So we talked about
this a bit on the podcast, So you're gonna have
to go back listen to the past episode.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Sanguine is a party ready to.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Party childlike child, Yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And then phlegmatic, which is what we used to think
Lisa is, but she's become a bit more of a
sanguan now. So plegmatic is very much a laid back personality,
goes with the flow. Yeah, whatever happens happens. You've then
got a melancholy, which is like everything's got to be
in order, but can also see the as opposed to
(02:25):
your Yeah, and then hilarics, the clerics like, I don't
mess with me on the boss, I'm going to tell
you how to do it. We're going to do it
this way, We're going to get it done.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
That's she's a cleric like that's rey.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I look at that and I'm like, oh, here's this strong,
independent woman and this is just awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's going to be great.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
But also at times it's like you're dominating me right now,
and you've very much got the upper hand.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And the thing is she's seeing that now as a
two year old, she's going to have you under her
thumb unless you get to a point that you go,
hang on. I've got to let her know.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
On the dad, I know, and that's that's I struggle
with that.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So now it's fun, I'm telling you now it's sixteen
not so much fun.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
But even now, like being angry at her is like
she'l so guilty kills me. I just destraw and she's
I'll get angry at her and she cry like she'll cry,
and then I don't. I'm in a stage right now
where I don't want to Panda too, like the you
know that really overly emotional, angry stuff that's not getting
(03:29):
my attention now kind of thing. But I'm always like,
if you want to come and say sorry to me
and give me a hug, I'm here and I love you,
but I'm not I'm not getting involved in that. But
you turn around and your heart is it you want
to do is just give her the thing that you
want to, you know, let her do the behavior which
you were just telling her off for. But I know
that that's if I if I just allow everything, it's
(03:50):
not fair to Mim because between mem and I, Mims
a very fun person as well. But I could see
how if I was never the enforcer there, it's so
not fair that you just like handle all that role
to Mum.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah you know what I mean. It's like, oh, Dad, I'm.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Always a fun one.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm good, I'm great. Mone will deal with that. What
does your mother think?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I don't like that this.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Was with me and my ex. I was wasn't the
bad one? Yeah yeah, yeah, Dad's plegmatic, right. So Dad
was very much like it's okay, yeah, you know, we'll
get it sort of, Whereas I'm like the talent my
ex was living in Ireland at one point, and my
son Josh, the middle middle one, was out till god
knows what time, and he had a game the next day,
(04:31):
right soccer game that he had to make sure he
was on for because if the team had lost, they
were going to be in a position where they could
be relegated, right, So it was it was an important game.
And he was out until about three in the morning,
and then he finally came home and I had lost it,
and I'm on the phone with his dad, going in
Ireland phone and I was done, especially as he was
(04:55):
in Ireland, I was in Australia, and I thought I
can't keep being the bad one. And that was and
all the time I was back.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's not a fair it's not a
fair role to give to either parent, you know, being
the bad one. I think you've both got to wear that.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Yeah, But it is funny when you know, if I
get angry at Remy or if Mim gets angry at Remy,
she's already playing us against each other, so it's like, oh,
Mom just got angry at me, and then all of
a sudden she's coming up to me being like Mom,
go away, Mum, go away, Daddy play and then you're
sitting there looking at mim being like she's done something bad.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Okay, you know I can't get around this even though
I really want to.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
Yeah, But me and my ex we still back each other.
We agreed on pretty much everything with parenting, but different
styles like turns sound like I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
The flake, Maddie. It's a gleric, so.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
He'd be like, the fuck is everyone doing it. I'll
be like, sure, let's just talk about it, let's just
out together, and you think it a wild but we'd
always back each other and still now, like my two
oldest ones live with him, and we had some real
challenges with my son that's seventeen now, so for like two.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Years, which just wild.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Yeah okay, but I would always say, you know, like
my son would come to me for things and I'm like, no,
this is what dad said and this is what we're doing.
So it always back him up because you just have
to otherwise they just play you off.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
It's exhausting, but also build resentment between the two parents
as well.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
It's just like it feels like you're undercutting me. It
feels like you're chopping me. Down from underneath me.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
But that's why coms is just so important as well.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Like it's nice when you have conversations with mim around
like oh, what what are you doing when this happens?
Or like what how are we handling this kind of
situation because sometimes you can accidentally like can't cook mim
a little bit, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I didn't realize that. Oh I didn't realize we weren't doing.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
That now, yeah kind of thing or like, but that's
where comms is just scial.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Did you learn that from your parents or is that
something you've taught yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Especially too, as you said that for so long you
felt like you're a bit on the flaky side. Yeah,
like how there's a huge change there.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah, I mean I believe that if if you have
a good enough reason, like any flakiness can disappear. Yeah, right,
as long as a reason behind while you're doing something,
the flakingness can go.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
But yeah, back on that, did I learned from my parents? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
I don't know about the communication thing, just thinking about
it now, like I picked up so much from the
way that my parents obviously raised me, and like trying
to incorporate that, like funny you talk about your dad,
like my dad was always and still is always just fun,
just always.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Wanting to have fun.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Yeah right, Yeah, he's he's just like a little kid.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
He's a little kid.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
And that was as a as a kid growing up
to have a dad who could play and stuff like
that was awesome. And but dad same thing, Like Dad
was really busy with work, so it wasn't necessarily quantity
of time during the week.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
It's more quality. When he was around, he was good.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
But I guess I'm the communication thing. What I did
pick up on is that, and you could tell this.
Mum would always call Dad on his dry home and
obviously he was looking forward to seeing us and hanging
out with us and having fun. But there were obviously
some days where Mum would call Dad and be like,
the kids have been assholes.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You need to come home and lay the law.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
And so I have like memories of Dad walking in
the door and you can see in his eyes he's
a reluctant enforcer. The last thing I want to do.
But I have to support my wife here because it's
like you guys have obviously been pricks.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Otherwise he's not getting.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I don't want to think about that, but.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Sorry, put that image in your head. Someone was going
to do it that you know that, right?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Yeah, so you did, so you got you got some communication.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
From them.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I reckon, Yeah, absolutely, And I reckon there's a nice
there's a nice balance between my mom and my dad
in that dad. Dad's probably more of the you know that,
the fun and like he wouldn't be too hard honest,
probably unless Mum was telling him beauty enforce whereas and
(09:16):
that was his way of showing love. But Mum's way
of showing love has always been if I can, if
I can make you tough, and I can and I can,
you know, effectively be pretty strict on you, then I'm
giving you the best opportunity to do well in whatever
you go after because the world's a tough place and
if I don't give you that toughness now by being
(09:37):
tough with you, then you're not going to stand a
chance out there. And it's, in my opinion, it's very
it's it's almost a very sacrificial way of showing love
because when she's doing that to me, you don't you
don't appreciate it at the time.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You are you are a tough mum. You're you're being
very hard on.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Me, but it's a really important, beautiful role to play
because you're not necessarily getting any love in return.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
There. And well, the thing is true. I was a
single mum, yeah, you know. So I had three kids
living with me and I'm trying to make ends meet
and look after them, and you know, I feel like
I lost a lot of my fun.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Oh yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Was not fun with my kids and I look back
now and that that kills me.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
You can't be hard on yourself, though, I often like
the raising REMI now with mim is the doing that
by yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I just I couldn't. I don't think I could do it.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
And it's not having the I mean, I'm sure you
had support around you that you were hopefully really not
your bloody hell.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Initially I was in Ireland, yeah, yeah, and so we
were lucky in the sense that the kids lived between
the two of us, so we shared them. But then
when I moved back to Australia and I had my
mum living with us, and mum had cancer, so I
was like brain exploding, you know. And I've got my
others and family here, but hardly saw anybody. So it
(11:03):
was trying to balance everything. And I think when you're
in that situation, you do lose that fun side of
you because all you're thinking about is keeping three kids alive,
keeping them out of trouble, keeping them safe, working living
in Caroline Springs, and having to come to work in Richmond.
The amount of days that you know, I wasn't getting
(11:24):
to work until after nine point thirty because I had
to get the kids to school, and then my daughter
that's one stage is going through depression. I couldn't get
her out of bed nine o'clock. I'm still getting trying
to get her out of bed, thinking, oh my god,
I've got I'm not going to get to work now
until after ten, and I'm going to get crucified for it.
Like there's just all of Yeah. So I think you lose,
(11:45):
you know, you lose the fun.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Side of you, and you lose you I do, well, yeah,
oh god.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I imagine during that period there's not much of like, oh,
what does Tunny want to do today?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, because I never you don't have you just don't
ever know that.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And it's only in the last few years that I've
actually started to do things for myself.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Yeah great, you know, is that hard to transition to
like knowing what you wanted to do?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
At least when I talked about this in one of
our episodes where I said to Lisa, said, because Lisa's
in the same boat as me, her boys aren't with her,
our kids have all sort of moved on. But I
said to Lisa, do you feel do you still feel
at times you need to ask permission to do things?
Speaker 6 (12:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
You feel guilty?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like gilt buying a couch. I'm
so used to in the past asking somebody, what do
you reckon? Should we buy this? Have we got the money?
Like doing that stuff, And now I'm like, I don't
have to ask anybody. And my nineteen year olds on
Liz at home, Yeah, yeah, you know. And this is
one thing that I said with least you know, it's
like if I want to go to the shops and
(12:42):
maybe I want to go buy some clothes or you
have a look around or whatever, there's a small part
of me that still sits there thinking I've got to
say to Lim, is it okay if I go? He
doesn't give a shit. He's happy for me to leave
the house and leaving.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
What happy and guess what he's doing the.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Image return You made me think of my parents.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Right back at me. You deserve that.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, but it's it better thinking that your kid's doing
it to your parents, Like.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Good question, good question. Remy's not old enough now engage And.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
It's a daughter. You never want to think that your daughter's.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Oh oh, that day is going to come.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
I don't like to think about it the picture your boys,
you know, But to think about your daughter doing that,
it's like, oh, I don't know you because I've got
a daughter as well.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's the last thing I want to be thinking about
my daughter.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, right, and you're just like godone, yeah right, okay,
but I want to be thinking she does that.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Yeah, And I'm sure it never goes away. I'm sure
it never disappears.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
But like the idea of like a guy or girl
who team Remy in relationship? Oh my god, did you
want to kill the person? Actually, if anybody did anything bad?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Oh my god? Yeah, how do you stop yourself?
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Actually, if I found a something even like bullied Remy's
or something, I would.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Go to the school and throw food.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
No, I don't throw food. May me deal with them
throwing food. But this is what we do as parents,
you know it. It's that that mother bear instinct. I
like to call it mother bear. You know.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I did it one time. My son was playing futsal
indoor soccer and I was sitting with a mate and
we're chatting and we're laughing at everything like that. I
could just see out the corner of my eye this
kid just kept on going.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
For my son.
Speaker 6 (14:43):
And they've played soccer for a while, so I know that,
you know, there's a bit of that. And I'm talking
to her and I go, I just like at this
surge of like rage come up in me. And she's like,
you're right, and I go, no, that kid's coming.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
From my kid.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
And I'm going to tell you. I like stormed over
to the you know, the indoor cricket next yeah, yeah,
and I'm like, yo, cable, the umpire couldn't hear me.
I'm trying to get through the indoor cricket net, you
know how.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
They're like, I'm.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Nearly fall through the beds and the ref's like, hey,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I'm like, what am I doing? Can you see?
Speaker 6 (15:18):
That kid is coming after my son? And it's that thing, right,
because I'm not one of those parents like you know
my middle sign. You know, we've had some challenges where
he's been in a lot of fights and everything, and
I'm not the sort of mum that's like that bloody
kid done this to me. The first thing I say is,
how did you get yourself into a situation like that?
(15:39):
What actually happened that you got involved and not your
other friends? Now it wasn't me, it was them, And
I'm like, it happens. It's happened too many times, do
you know what I mean? You're the common denominating him.
So you know, I'm very open to looking at the
water's going on in the situation. But in this situation,
this kid was intense only targeting my son and trying
(16:01):
to trip him over. And you know, even when my
son was in the corner, he was just coming for him.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And yeah, I wouldn't be to watch that. I'd want
to push the kid. Did not get physical. You can't
the kids, it's really Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
I had a playground and remy, we had this guy.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I got this new little orange ball and this older
kid just took her orange ball.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I was going to kill that kid.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Atual reaction was saying like, just see what Remy does,
like deals with it, and I was like, yeah, cool,
nowhere and this kid just would not give the ball back.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Did she get did she cleric? Did she actually?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Well? So she went after him.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
This kid was a lot it was a lot older,
so she wasn't physically able to get the ball. And
I could tell she was getting a bit emotional about
the fact that anyway I ended up.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I didn't physically harm the kid, but I snatched the
ball off him and he wasn't to touch the ball.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Knew I'm watching. I wanted to ask you in your
gorgeous wedding video. Yes, Mim says that something along the
lines of she's always felt like she's been too much
and then she's found you and she doesn't feel like
(17:18):
she's too much anymore. And I totally related to that
because in the past I've always felt like I've been
too much from a partner. So you know, you just
play it down a little bit and be quiet, and
then you come out of the relationship.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And you're like, oh my god, this is this is me.
Speaker 6 (17:32):
Did you as well feel like you were too much too?
I mean, given a sort of personality.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
No, I don't. I don't. I don't think I did,
And it's do you know. The sad reality of.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
My answer there is that I think men that are
too much are celebrated, and I think really unfortunately a
woman who is being too loud and too much is
seen as a negative. And I think that's yuck. And
I think that's changing. That is that I hope that's change.
That that is definitely changing. But I don't think we're
fully there yet where I don't know, and I don't
(18:05):
know why it started, but there is definitely that that
there isn't there can be a negativity around oh god.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
She's a bit much. You don't hear oh he's a
bit much?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Maybe maybe you do every now and like very rarely
but far more common to hear oh she she should
be a bit quieter, not the male. So I guess
my answer is no, I didn't feel I haven't felt
like I've been too much, but to hear her because
she's spoken.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To me about that.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Within our relationship, and and you know, and she's the
first to admit like she like she is, she's a lot,
she's she's full of energy, and she's and she's loud,
and she's like, you know, she's really really funny.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
She's wild.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
You know, there are people that she's been within the
past for what reason or felt like, don't act like that,
that's embarrassing, or you're embarrassing me, or can you just
please can you just be quiet down? The kind of thing, which, again, yeah,
like I said, that's far more common for it to
be the guy telling them.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You don't hear so much of.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Woman telling guy, oh, can you calm down so much?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
But it was really it was nice to hear her
say that to me though, because I mean, the first
time she spoke to me about that, I didn't necessarily
realize I was doing anything so much. I didn't realize
that she'd felt that way with other people. And yeah,
it was hard to hear her say that as well.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
But you gave her the freedom to be who she is.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah, yeah, which is nice.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
And this is how you compliment each other.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Totally, And she does exactly the same thing to me.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
She's the same thing to me.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
It's funny kind of probably in the opposite way actually,
because I can obviously I'm sanguine. I said that, right,
So sanguine a lot of the time, but she also
sees the opposite. And I'm not sure whether this is
in the person traits, but the sanguin needs time to
recharge as well. And so and so for me, I'm
a bit I'm not very good at being let's say
(20:09):
one hundred is when I'm really up and about.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I can't do fifty.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I don't do fifty, one hundred back to zero.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
And so for a long time, and especially being single
or not living with someone, I'm not having a child, especially,
you can you find your time to go and recharge
by yourself. And that for me included like like honestly,
it's like not talking for a really long time. And
so holidays for me for a long time were just
(20:38):
find anywhere which is not around humans. And the win
here is if you can have two weeks without saying
more than ten words, Wow, that's kind of like that.
That for me is like a dream holiday.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So that's what you used to do.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
That's what I used to do.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, so I'd like I really strange holiday where I
spent ten days in a tent, which we won't go into,
but effectively.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I want to hear this now, I want to hear
this now, and we're going to hear all about tent
Boy in our next episode with Woody.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
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(21:26):
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Every day brings a new story. The life isn't perfect,
but it's perfectly ours, with raw conversations, inspiring stories and
laugh until you cry moments we hit him, I unpack
it all and figure it out together, one episode at
a time. This is Life as we Know It, Unfiltered
with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Drive Show co host Woody Whitelaw, who's one half of
The Will and Woody Show, joins us in this episode.
If you missed the last chat we had with him,
please make sure you check it out. Okay, in the meantime,
enjoy this episode. You said, Rennie's two Yeah, just turned two?
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, two last October.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, So a lot of people talk about the terrible
twos at two years old. All of a sudden, these
kids have attitude. They can tell you what they think.
For me, personally, I hated that term terrible twos. Sure, okay,
it was a case of no no. This person all
of a sudden has discovered their personality, and they've discovered
that they can speak up and that they can have
(01:08):
an opinion, and if they don't want something, they're going
to say no.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So now that Remy is too obviously you're seeing that,
but are you also seeing signs of her personality? What
personality does she have?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
She's got sas, she's she's got sash, she's bossy, she's
strong like she's got some She's got two cousins, twin cousins,
and they're a little bit older than her.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
She like physically physically dominates them.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
She wants to, She tells.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Hilaric on his hands. Would you like me to give
your tips on how to deal with the hileric?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Please? How do I deal with this? But I love it?
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Because what do you sanguine?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah, for sure, hilaric personality traits. So we talked about
this a bit on the podcast, So you're gonna have
to go back listen to the past episode.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Sanguine is a party ready to.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Party childlike child, Yeah okay.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
And then phlegmatic, which is what we used to think
Lisa is, but she's become a bit more of a
sanguan now. So plegmatic is very much a laid back personality,
goes with the flow. Yeah, whatever happens happens. You've then
got a melancholy, which is like everything's got to be
in order, but can also see the as opposed to
(02:25):
your Yeah, and then hilarics, the clerics like, I don't
mess with me on the boss, I'm going to tell
you how to do it. We're going to do it
this way, We're going to get it done.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
That's she's a cleric like that's rey.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I look at that and I'm like, oh, here's this strong,
independent woman and this is just awesome.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's going to be great.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
But also at times it's like you're dominating me right now,
and you've very much got the upper hand.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
And the thing is she's seeing that now as a
two year old, she's going to have you under her
thumb unless you get to a point that you go,
hang on. I've got to let her know.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
On the dad, I know, and that's that's I struggle
with that.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
So now it's fun, I'm telling you now it's sixteen
not so much fun.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
But even now, like being angry at her is like
she'l so guilty kills me. I just destraw and she's
I'll get angry at her and she cry like she'll cry,
and then I don't. I'm in a stage right now
where I don't want to Panda too, like the you
know that really overly emotional, angry stuff that's not getting
(03:29):
my attention now kind of thing. But I'm always like,
if you want to come and say sorry to me
and give me a hug, I'm here and I love you,
but I'm not I'm not getting involved in that. But
you turn around and your heart is it you want
to do is just give her the thing that you
want to, you know, let her do the behavior which
you were just telling her off for. But I know
that that's if I if I just allow everything, it's
(03:50):
not fair to Mim because between mem and I, Mims
a very fun person as well. But I could see
how if I was never the enforcer there, it's so
not fair that you just like handle all that role
to Mum.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah you know what I mean. It's like, oh, Dad, I'm.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Always a fun one.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
I'm good, I'm great. Mone will deal with that. What
does your mother think?
Speaker 5 (04:08):
I don't like that this.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Was with me and my ex. I was wasn't the
bad one? Yeah yeah, yeah, Dad's plegmatic, right. So Dad
was very much like it's okay, yeah, you know, we'll
get it sort of, Whereas I'm like the talent my
ex was living in Ireland at one point, and my
son Josh, the middle middle one, was out till god
knows what time, and he had a game the next day,
(04:31):
right soccer game that he had to make sure he
was on for because if the team had lost, they
were going to be in a position where they could
be relegated, right, So it was it was an important game.
And he was out until about three in the morning,
and then he finally came home and I had lost it,
and I'm on the phone with his dad, going in
Ireland phone and I was done, especially as he was
(04:55):
in Ireland, I was in Australia, and I thought I
can't keep being the bad one. And that was and
all the time I was back.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, totally. Yeah, it's not a fair it's not a
fair role to give to either parent, you know, being
the bad one. I think you've both got to wear that.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Yeah, But it is funny when you know, if I
get angry at Remy or if Mim gets angry at Remy,
she's already playing us against each other, so it's like, oh,
Mom just got angry at me, and then all of
a sudden she's coming up to me being like Mom,
go away, Mum, go away, Daddy play and then you're
sitting there looking at mim being like she's done something bad.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Okay, you know I can't get around this even though
I really want to.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
Yeah, But me and my ex we still back each other.
We agreed on pretty much everything with parenting, but different
styles like turns sound like I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
The flake, Maddie. It's a gleric, so.
Speaker 6 (05:39):
He'd be like, the fuck is everyone doing it. I'll
be like, sure, let's just talk about it, let's just
out together, and you think it a wild but we'd
always back each other and still now, like my two
oldest ones live with him, and we had some real
challenges with my son that's seventeen now, so for like two.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Years, which just wild.
Speaker 6 (06:00):
Yeah okay, but I would always say, you know, like
my son would come to me for things and I'm like, no,
this is what dad said and this is what we're doing.
So it always back him up because you just have
to otherwise they just play you off.
Speaker 4 (06:13):
It's exhausting, but also build resentment between the two parents
as well.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
It's just like it feels like you're undercutting me. It
feels like you're chopping me. Down from underneath me.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
But that's why coms is just so important as well.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Like it's nice when you have conversations with mim around
like oh, what what are you doing when this happens?
Or like what how are we handling this kind of
situation because sometimes you can accidentally like can't cook mim
a little bit, you know what I mean, Like.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I didn't realize that. Oh I didn't realize we weren't doing.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
That now, yeah kind of thing or like, but that's
where comms is just scial.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Did you learn that from your parents or is that
something you've taught yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Especially too, as you said that for so long you
felt like you're a bit on the flaky side. Yeah,
like how there's a huge change there.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah, I mean I believe that if if you have
a good enough reason, like any flakiness can disappear. Yeah, right,
as long as a reason behind while you're doing something,
the flakingness can go.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
But yeah, back on that, did I learned from my parents? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:14):
I don't know about the communication thing, just thinking about
it now, like I picked up so much from the
way that my parents obviously raised me, and like trying
to incorporate that, like funny you talk about your dad,
like my dad was always and still is always just fun,
just always.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Wanting to have fun.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Yeah right, Yeah, he's he's just like a little kid.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
He's a little kid.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
And that was as a as a kid growing up
to have a dad who could play and stuff like
that was awesome. And but dad same thing, Like Dad
was really busy with work, so it wasn't necessarily quantity
of time during the week.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
It's more quality. When he was around, he was good.
Speaker 4 (07:51):
But I guess I'm the communication thing. What I did
pick up on is that, and you could tell this.
Mum would always call Dad on his dry home and
obviously he was looking forward to seeing us and hanging
out with us and having fun. But there were obviously
some days where Mum would call Dad and be like,
the kids have been assholes.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
You need to come home and lay the law.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
And so I have like memories of Dad walking in
the door and you can see in his eyes he's
a reluctant enforcer. The last thing I want to do.
But I have to support my wife here because it's
like you guys have obviously been pricks.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Otherwise he's not getting.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I don't want to think about that, but.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Sorry, put that image in your head. Someone was going
to do it that you know that, right?
Speaker 6 (08:48):
Yeah, so you did, so you got you got some communication.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
From them.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
I reckon, Yeah, absolutely, And I reckon there's a nice
there's a nice balance between my mom and my dad
in that dad. Dad's probably more of the you know that,
the fun and like he wouldn't be too hard honest,
probably unless Mum was telling him beauty enforce whereas and
(09:16):
that was his way of showing love. But Mum's way
of showing love has always been if I can, if
I can make you tough, and I can and I can,
you know, effectively be pretty strict on you, then I'm
giving you the best opportunity to do well in whatever
you go after because the world's a tough place and
if I don't give you that toughness now by being
(09:37):
tough with you, then you're not going to stand a
chance out there. And it's, in my opinion, it's very
it's it's almost a very sacrificial way of showing love
because when she's doing that to me, you don't you
don't appreciate it at the time.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You are you are a tough mum. You're you're being
very hard on.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
Me, but it's a really important, beautiful role to play
because you're not necessarily getting any love in return.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
There. And well, the thing is true. I was a
single mum, yeah, you know. So I had three kids
living with me and I'm trying to make ends meet
and look after them, and you know, I feel like
I lost a lot of my fun.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Oh yeah, but I.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Was not fun with my kids and I look back
now and that that kills me.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
You can't be hard on yourself, though, I often like
the raising REMI now with mim is the doing that
by yourself.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I just I couldn't. I don't think I could do it.
Speaker 4 (10:35):
And it's not having the I mean, I'm sure you
had support around you that you were hopefully really not
your bloody hell.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Initially I was in Ireland, yeah, yeah, and so we
were lucky in the sense that the kids lived between
the two of us, so we shared them. But then
when I moved back to Australia and I had my
mum living with us, and mum had cancer, so I
was like brain exploding, you know. And I've got my
others and family here, but hardly saw anybody. So it
(11:03):
was trying to balance everything. And I think when you're
in that situation, you do lose that fun side of
you because all you're thinking about is keeping three kids alive,
keeping them out of trouble, keeping them safe, working living
in Caroline Springs, and having to come to work in Richmond.
The amount of days that you know, I wasn't getting
(11:24):
to work until after nine point thirty because I had
to get the kids to school, and then my daughter
that's one stage is going through depression. I couldn't get
her out of bed nine o'clock. I'm still getting trying
to get her out of bed, thinking, oh my god,
I've got I'm not going to get to work now
until after ten, and I'm going to get crucified for it.
Like there's just all of Yeah. So I think you lose,
(11:45):
you know, you lose the fun.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Side of you, and you lose you I do, well, yeah,
oh god.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
I imagine during that period there's not much of like, oh,
what does Tunny want to do today?
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, because I never you don't have you just don't
ever know that.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
And it's only in the last few years that I've
actually started to do things for myself.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Yeah great, you know, is that hard to transition to
like knowing what you wanted to do?
Speaker 2 (12:07):
At least when I talked about this in one of
our episodes where I said to Lisa, said, because Lisa's
in the same boat as me, her boys aren't with her,
our kids have all sort of moved on. But I
said to Lisa, do you feel do you still feel
at times you need to ask permission to do things?
Speaker 6 (12:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:20):
You feel guilty?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like gilt buying a couch. I'm
so used to in the past asking somebody, what do
you reckon? Should we buy this? Have we got the money?
Like doing that stuff, And now I'm like, I don't
have to ask anybody. And my nineteen year olds on
Liz at home, Yeah, yeah, you know. And this is
one thing that I said with least you know, it's
like if I want to go to the shops and
(12:42):
maybe I want to go buy some clothes or you
have a look around or whatever, there's a small part
of me that still sits there thinking I've got to
say to Lim, is it okay if I go? He
doesn't give a shit. He's happy for me to leave
the house and leaving.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
What happy and guess what he's doing the.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Image return You made me think of my parents.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Right back at me. You deserve that.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Yeah, but it's it better thinking that your kid's doing
it to your parents, Like.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Good question, good question. Remy's not old enough now engage And.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
It's a daughter. You never want to think that your daughter's.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Oh oh, that day is going to come.
Speaker 6 (13:32):
I don't like to think about it the picture your boys,
you know, But to think about your daughter doing that,
it's like, oh, I don't know you because I've got
a daughter as well.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's the last thing I want to be thinking about
my daughter.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, right, and you're just like godone, yeah right, okay,
but I want to be thinking she does that.
Speaker 5 (13:54):
Yeah, And I'm sure it never goes away. I'm sure
it never disappears.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
But like the idea of like a guy or girl
who team Remy in relationship? Oh my god, did you
want to kill the person? Actually, if anybody did anything bad?
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Oh my god? Yeah, how do you stop yourself?
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Actually, if I found a something even like bullied Remy's
or something, I would.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Go to the school and throw food.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
No, I don't throw food. May me deal with them
throwing food. But this is what we do as parents,
you know it. It's that that mother bear instinct. I
like to call it mother bear. You know.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
I did it one time. My son was playing futsal
indoor soccer and I was sitting with a mate and
we're chatting and we're laughing at everything like that. I
could just see out the corner of my eye this
kid just kept on going.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
For my son.
Speaker 6 (14:43):
And they've played soccer for a while, so I know that,
you know, there's a bit of that. And I'm talking
to her and I go, I just like at this
surge of like rage come up in me. And she's like,
you're right, and I go, no, that kid's coming.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
From my kid.
Speaker 6 (14:54):
And I'm going to tell you. I like stormed over
to the you know, the indoor cricket next yeah, yeah,
and I'm like, yo, cable, the umpire couldn't hear me.
I'm trying to get through the indoor cricket net, you
know how.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
They're like, I'm.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
Nearly fall through the beds and the ref's like, hey,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I'm like, what am I doing? Can you see?
Speaker 6 (15:18):
That kid is coming after my son? And it's that thing, right,
because I'm not one of those parents like you know
my middle sign. You know, we've had some challenges where
he's been in a lot of fights and everything, and
I'm not the sort of mum that's like that bloody
kid done this to me. The first thing I say is,
how did you get yourself into a situation like that?
(15:39):
What actually happened that you got involved and not your
other friends? Now it wasn't me, it was them, And
I'm like, it happens. It's happened too many times, do
you know what I mean? You're the common denominating him.
So you know, I'm very open to looking at the
water's going on in the situation. But in this situation,
this kid was intense only targeting my son and trying
(16:01):
to trip him over. And you know, even when my
son was in the corner, he was just coming for him.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And yeah, I wouldn't be to watch that. I'd want
to push the kid. Did not get physical. You can't
the kids, it's really Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
I had a playground and remy, we had this guy.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
I got this new little orange ball and this older
kid just took her orange ball.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I was going to kill that kid.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
Atual reaction was saying like, just see what Remy does,
like deals with it, and I was like, yeah, cool,
nowhere and this kid just would not give the ball back.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Did she get did she cleric? Did she actually?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Well? So she went after him.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
This kid was a lot it was a lot older,
so she wasn't physically able to get the ball. And
I could tell she was getting a bit emotional about
the fact that anyway I ended up.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I didn't physically harm the kid, but I snatched the
ball off him and he wasn't to touch the ball.
Speaker 6 (16:56):
Knew I'm watching. I wanted to ask you in your
gorgeous wedding video. Yes, Mim says that something along the
lines of she's always felt like she's been too much
and then she's found you and she doesn't feel like
(17:18):
she's too much anymore. And I totally related to that
because in the past I've always felt like I've been
too much from a partner. So you know, you just
play it down a little bit and be quiet, and
then you come out of the relationship.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And you're like, oh my god, this is this is me.
Speaker 6 (17:32):
Did you as well feel like you were too much too?
I mean, given a sort of personality.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
No, I don't. I don't. I don't think I did,
And it's do you know. The sad reality of.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
My answer there is that I think men that are
too much are celebrated, and I think really unfortunately a
woman who is being too loud and too much is
seen as a negative. And I think that's yuck. And
I think that's changing. That is that I hope that's change.
That that is definitely changing. But I don't think we're
fully there yet where I don't know, and I don't
(18:05):
know why it started, but there is definitely that that
there isn't there can be a negativity around oh god.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
She's a bit much. You don't hear oh he's a
bit much?
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Maybe maybe you do every now and like very rarely
but far more common to hear oh she she should
be a bit quieter, not the male. So I guess
my answer is no, I didn't feel I haven't felt
like I've been too much, but to hear her because
she's spoken.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To me about that.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Within our relationship, and and you know, and she's the
first to admit like she like she is, she's a lot,
she's she's full of energy, and she's and she's loud,
and she's like, you know, she's really really funny.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
She's wild.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
You know, there are people that she's been within the
past for what reason or felt like, don't act like that,
that's embarrassing, or you're embarrassing me, or can you just
please can you just be quiet down? The kind of thing, which, again, yeah,
like I said, that's far more common for it to
be the guy telling them.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
You don't hear so much of.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Woman telling guy, oh, can you calm down so much?
Speaker 4 (19:19):
But it was really it was nice to hear her
say that to me though, because I mean, the first
time she spoke to me about that, I didn't necessarily
realize I was doing anything so much. I didn't realize
that she'd felt that way with other people. And yeah,
it was hard to hear her say that as well.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
But you gave her the freedom to be who she is.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah, yeah, which is nice.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
And this is how you compliment each other.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Totally, And she does exactly the same thing to me.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
She's the same thing to me.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
It's funny kind of probably in the opposite way actually,
because I can obviously I'm sanguine. I said that, right,
So sanguine a lot of the time, but she also
sees the opposite. And I'm not sure whether this is
in the person traits, but the sanguin needs time to
recharge as well. And so and so for me, I'm
a bit I'm not very good at being let's say
(20:09):
one hundred is when I'm really up and about.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I can't do fifty.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I don't do fifty, one hundred back to zero.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
And so for a long time, and especially being single
or not living with someone, I'm not having a child, especially,
you can you find your time to go and recharge
by yourself. And that for me included like like honestly,
it's like not talking for a really long time. And
so holidays for me for a long time were just
(20:38):
find anywhere which is not around humans. And the win
here is if you can have two weeks without saying
more than ten words, Wow, that's kind of like that.
That for me is like a dream holiday.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
So that's what you used to do.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
That's what I used to do.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
Yeah, so I'd like I really strange holiday where I
spent ten days in a tent, which we won't go into,
but effectively.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I want to hear this now, I want to hear
this now, and we're going to hear all about tent
Boy in our next episode with Woody.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
You've been listening to Life as we Know It Unfiltered
with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron. If you like this episode,
please leave us a review or drop a comment on
our socials. We love hearing from you. You can also
come hang out with us on Instagram at Life as
we Know It dot podcast and on Facebook at Life
as we Know It. Oh and please see that follow
button on your favorite podcast app. If you're not following
(21:26):
us yet, catch up with you in our next episode.
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