May 8, 2025 • 21 mins
Woody Whitelaw is one half of the KIIS Network Drive Time Show Will and Woody.
In this episode, we learn that Woody is an introvert at heart who needs drastic alone time to truly recharge, enter "Tent Boy". Woody also opens up about how he and wife Mim have come to understand and respect each other's quirks, especially when it comes to personal space and recharging.
There are 3 episodes with Woody all up.
Follow us on Facebook "Life As We Know It Podcast"
and Instagram @LifeAsWeKnowIt.Podcast @tonitenaglia @lisacameroncoaching
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Every day brings a new story. The life isn't perfect,
but it's perfectly ours, with raw conversations, inspiring stories and
laugh until you cry moments we hit him. I'm pack
it all and figure it out together, one episode at
a time. This is life as we know it, unfiltered,
with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Joining us in this episode. Woody whitelaw one half of
the Kiss Network Drive show Will and Woody. If you
missed the last chat we had with him, please make
sure you check it out. Okay, in the meantime, enjoy
this episode.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Obviously, I'm sanguine.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I said that right, And I'm not sure whether this
is in the personality traits, but the sanguine needs time.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
To recharge as well.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Let's say one hundred is when I'm up, really up
and about ye, I can't do fifty.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't do fifty, one.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hundred back to zero.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And so for a long time and especially being single
or not living with someone and not having a child,
especially you can you find your time to go and
recharge by yourself. And that for me included like like honestly,
it's like not talking for a really long time, and
so holidays for me for a long time were just
(01:20):
find anywhere which is not around humans. And the win
here is if you can have two weeks without saying.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
More than ten words. Wow, that's kind of like that.
That for me is like a dream holiday.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So that's what you used to do.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
That's what I used to do.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Yeah, so I'd like, I really strange holiday where I
spent ten days in a tent we weren't going to
but effectively to hear this now.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I want to hear this now, so on your own
camping out the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
That was actually this. It's a it's an echo retreat.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
In it's just south of Broom and they had these
tent setups and I so again knowing that I go
into these holidays, I'm like, this is my charge.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I just don't want to. I don't want to. I
don't want to not because it's weird.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
It's not only not talking to me, it's like I
find being around humans can be tiring because I'm very
my awareness is very high, Like I'm constantly picking up
on like what you're doing physically, what your facial expressions are,
and that is like I've always seen that as a
bit of a superpower, but it drains you. So so
if ever I've got time off, it's like, just get
(02:23):
away from all stimulus for as long as you can.
But anyway, so I go to this Echo of Retreat.
And people usually go to this Echo Retreat for like
one night, two nights because it's just it's nothing. It's
just tent on a beach effectively. And I booked it
for ten days, and I remember when I spoke to
the person checking in, they were like ten days. I
was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and they were like, no
one's evastated days. You know, it's just it's literally just
(02:44):
a tend and I was like, yeah, it sounds great.
And then I didn't realize this was going on, but
apparently the staff that work at this Echo Retreat, we're
all starting discussions around what they think the guy in
the tent's doing.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And the like. It was like the sightings of.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Foot when they'd seen me, and they like, I saw
I saw a tent boy and they were like he
was out of his tent and like, yeah, yeah, he
went for a swim.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Did you talk to him.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
No, I didn't talk to him, but he's alive. So
I had this ten days. And I only know that
because one of.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Them eventually approached me and it was just like.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Hey, tenoy, do you want to like hang out with
this or like there's like talk like you've been here
for a while, feels like you want to You just
want to.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
We're all gonna have drinks all the stuff.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And I was, and you know, I'm also not very
good at saying no, I didn't want to go, but
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Absolutely, that sounds great. And then when I had drinks
with them, all they were like we were all really
freaked out about you.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
We're like we don't know what you were eating, Like
we thought you were some Buddhist monk or something doing
like a ten day no eating things. So but anyway,
so that is that is previously how I used to holiday,
but I definitely don't have that freedom now. Yeah, and
when it gets to holidays for me now, I if
I have time off work, I want to spend.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Max time with Remy.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Maybe maybe there'll be a one night or two night
little get away for me is like a full recharge,
or I'll go for like a big big bike ride,
big bush bark rider, the same thing. There's limits stimulus,
but generally speaking on holidays, it's like this is a
chance to see hang out.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
With Remy like a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
But because of that and I'm because of me not
getting my no stimulus weird tent boy holidays. At some
point I had to let in, let in mim on
there is going to be time where I just it's
like everything just shuts down and that will be difficult
to be around.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
And in that time I probably won't be.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I just won't be. It's I think it's it's not
necessarily that I become really bad, but it's just that
it's very different to what I'm usually like, like I am.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
A very very positive person.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Stuff, but like she'll have to deal with or she's
she's learned that she also has to deal with Recharge.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Boy and he's just very quiet.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And for her it took a bit too, And it
took a bit for me to accept that she loved
te boy too.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I think that was.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Because her time away from you, because it's time to recharge.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I think she picked up on before I really did.
Just you know, as soon as you have a partner
he spent so much time with and you love so much,
they start to get you almost more than you get
yourself front, and she was picking up on me of
like it's like you're you're forcing something or it's like
you're you're making effort to be you.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I think she was.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Kind of seeing that and the reason I was doing
that because I was like, I don't want you to
see just flat tent boy anyway. But we've kind of
like grown through that, so I think for her, for
me it was it's kind of the flip side. It
was like, I love that you allow me to be
that nothing for a bit to recharge.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So do you do that home as well? Like do
you go just leave me for twenty four hours in
a room?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So I'm really bad at asking for.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It, right, So you've got to wait for her to
recognize it.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Yeah right, yeah, which isn't fair as well sometimes because
I can.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
She may not read the signs. Sometimes she's so much
else going on and.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Then they might be a bit we could workshop this.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Yeah yeah, yeah, here's a question.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Then you're not good asking for it. Why what is
it that makes you not feel you can go and
ask for that time?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
So I think.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I think it's because I feel like I'll be letting
her down, or like if I'm not, because everything I'm
always doing with social interaction is I'm always trying to
make that person walk away feeling a bit better about themselves.
And that can I know that very naturally. It's not
like I'm trying to do that. That is just like,
that is just what I will do. And if I
have a social interaction with someone and I feel like
(06:46):
they've walked away from that and I've either slightly offended
them or for whatever reason, they feel a bit worse
after an interaction, that will just destroy me. So the
idea of not being that cheerleader for mem at all
times times it's quite difficult for me to deal with
I reckon.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So I I.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Guess the other part of that is that I never
want to admit to her that I need recharging because
I'm supposed to be the energy you bring arms, and
I was supposed to be the energized and I was
supposed to be the one that holds everyone up, and
I'm keeping I'm always happy to never worry about me,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
That's that's what I want to project.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
But you know, when you with someone for long enough
and you live with them, it's like you can't you
can't keep living that life totally. And that's when you know,
I'll feel she'll notice like an irritability about me or
something which is like you're you've you've gone too far, like.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
You're you're empty and you're still pushing. But that's hard.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
It's it's it's hard for me to admit to myself
that I'm empty as well, like and I'll almost like
lie to myself, I no, no, I'm not empty. I'm
good and good, I'm good, and then then we'll go
off you go boy afterwards, and this is I mean,
(08:08):
this is an absolute clazic. But after it's happened, I'm
always able to go like, oh I was flat and
are you were? And then and then we talk about
it and it's like what did you want me to do?
Did I do the right thing? And and MIM's learnt
as well that the best thing to do is literally
like just get away from me, or like just find
a way to get me alone, or like just let
me be by myself because even if and that's been
(08:30):
hard for her because she's a very nurturing person. So
the way that she shows care for something, if someone's
feeling a bit flat or something like she's like, what
can I do for you? I'll bring you this, I'll
do that. That's the worst thing to do for me.
Anyone saying how can I help? It's like, it's like
making it worse, making it worse. Just let me let
you work through it yourself.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
It's totally masculine. Feminine, masculine goes into the man cave
and you know that's yeah, You've got that polarity in
your in your relationship totally yeah. And I wass thinking
to you, like how comforting to have someone accept you?
It's best on that sort of level.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That's awesome, and it's taken some There's been absolutely friction
along the way there because we we because we're so
we are that polar opposites there, and that if you
flip it, and if Mims feeling a bit flat or
Mims feeling down, my natural reaction is get away.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
From her, leave her alone. That's because because that's what
you like, right, I'm.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Treating you the way that I would want to be treated.
So if you're feeling down, I better make myself scarce
and get away from you. All she wants is a
cuddle and like I love you, And what can I
get for you?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Because that's what she would naturally want it. It's so
funny because I thought you were going to say your
natural instinct would be to try and make her laugh
and bring her out of that.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It's a personality like initially like initially yes, but then
if it's like if it's like you're no, you're not
you're not good at all, or even if it's sickness,
you know, it doesn't do your mental thing. It's just
like sickness. It will get to a point where it's like,
oh no, you need to be left alone now, yep, yep,
which is which is just it's just like a rewiring
for me of like because I'll still almost see that
and like it's almost like I'll go to get away
(10:08):
and then be like, oh.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
No, it takes time to learn, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Totally?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, totally, And lots of conversations also, just lots of
like me and I can be quite good now, like
just doing a little bit of like a review of
how something happens. So it's like, let's talk about yesterday.
What happened was you were empty and then I tried
to help you and then you got angry at me. Yeah,
so no one really is anything wrong, but.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Next time, let's try it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
But it's good that you talk about that, yeah, and
you don't get into an argument over it, because that
would be a natural thing that a lot of people
would do, that you bring that up and then an
argument would start.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, And there have been there have been arguments along
the way, absolutely, but I think we've always been very
good even if we do have an argument then talking
about it more rationally afterwards.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
And because we're both very very light.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Fun people as well, we're very quick to go from
fight to fun, yeah, which is which is a good
trade that we've got. Yeah, I think, And we can
even pick up on things that happened in the fight
that were quite funny. It's like someone where it's like,
how about when you threw down the banana, Like that
was just so so ship and then you're like, yeah,
(11:21):
I knew it at the time that banana was bad.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
And then you're there making banana cake together exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But you've both got so much self.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
Awareness and there's this really like deep respect for each
other and wanting to resolve things and make things work.
I think that's so beautiful. And I think that you
should you know when the when you're feeling what you
need to be tent boy, just get the sleeping bag
out and just put it on and you could stand
in the doorway and you just go, it's time.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Close my zip for me.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
Help you into that process of entering the tent cave.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Funny, we could keep talking, but a little awesome guest.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It's really fun. Of course it was worth it almost
it was.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
I don't think I've laughed this much, you know in
our podcast.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Until Steph text you guys, Oh my god, what is
a guest? Jesus, I'm coming back. I'm returning to the pot.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Well, you've got a little one to get home to
should be asleep.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
My wife will be awake there, so she'll be excited
to date night hopefully justly.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Do you do date night?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, we do.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
We're very so last night we actually stayed at Crown
together a night at Crown, had dinner at Spice Temple,
So we find that very important. We're very lucky that
we've got By, said to grandparents here, so they always
very happy to take By for the night. So yesterday
she she was in daycare and then so Min was
(13:03):
able to go to the hotel and she just had
like an afternoon just full relax, so watch.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Some TV, do nothing.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Then I finished work and joined her at the hotel,
went out for dinner. And it's super important for us
to just like really prioritize nights where it's like because
it's funny. Initially with Remy, the nights that we were
getting someone to babysit, the nights we were giving her
to a grandparent, was when we had like a wedding
or an event on. Yeah, and it's fun when you
get to an event, it's yeah, we're hanging out, but
(13:32):
also we're hanging out with everyone at a party, so
we're not actually getting like quality you and me time,
and you know you kind of view, Oh, I guess
we're hanging out together every night with Remy. But it's
super important that we're like, no, no, no, let's keep doing
special things every now and then just the two of us. Yeah,
So we had that last night.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Which was really cool.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Now, one more question that we want to ask you.
This is an easy one. Okay, Yeah, totally different to
everything else we've been talking about. Pretty death. Yes, is
there or has there been a celebrity death that has
you know that you felt that has impacted you.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
So yeah, so absolutely a few come to mind, but
I would say the number one is Robin Williams.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Me too, Is that me too?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah? Yeah, I would never post about anybody who has
passed away, but Robin Williams affected me that much. I
actually did something.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Actually I was because I was on air the day
after in Perth and got a little bit hairy because
I I pretty much broke a radio code. But because
I was just I was just so torn up about Robin,
and because Robin has just I mean everyone's seen him
on screen and just felt better interviews and you just
(14:51):
he's right one of those people who you look at
him and you're like every interaction you come away from
you've made someone feel better. So it almost like just
like I watched my dad do as I was growing up,
Like it becomes like a bit of a north Staff
or you of like, oh, you just want to you
just want to be able to spread joy like that
guy does everywhere. And also it's funny you look at
him and you go, God, you must be so tired,
like the effort that you put in as well so
(15:12):
he's just such a special person for him to get
to a point where and I don't know exactly, but
I think the story is that he was starting to
it was having a mental suffer depression, was suffering depression.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But he had depression for a long time. Yeah, so, yeah,
he'd been carrying a lot of stuff for a long time.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Did he have some Parkinson's coming on?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
No, I didn't hear that, okay, because I thought.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
There was something around like he was starting to like
lines were getting harder to remember and maybe not maybe
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
He had like drug problem at one point, problem that
sort of stuff, but I don't remember. But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
But it was just I think the bit that obviously
there's loving him to one side, and then the idea
that he would ever be at the point in his
life where he would feel like I don't want to
be here anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It was just its just heartbreaking rocked me. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
On air in Perth, I think I said we spoke
about him and talked about how many loved him, and
then I think I said something like, well, he's in
the only thing that's making me.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Getting me through this is knowing that he's.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Up there in heaven right now in a better place,
making a whole lot of angels laugh, which which I
thought it didn't much of the comment. But anyway, that
is breaking a radio code because it's like, when it
comes to talking about things like suicide, you just can't
be saying anything that condone that, which was which is
(16:36):
actually a very good code to have, right, but it's like,
you don't you ever want to be talking about suicide
and make it seem like he's done that was the
right thing to do, because it is it is never
ever ever the right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
But anyway, Yeah, that was definitely the one that that
blocks me the most. And we're the same, but the
same who is yours?
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Was kind of no, it's not funny, but it was
because I was trying to think about it. And I
remember when Princess Doona passed.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Away and that felt really big.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
But the one that really shocked me was if it
was last year or the year before, was the guy
on the Allan Show, twitch Twitcheah. I just loved him,
and I just, I guess kind of like a Robin Williams,
like you just bought so much joy. He had such
a beautiful fun of energy, and never ever, ever, in
(17:25):
a million years would I think someone like him would
take his life.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And I just remember seeing go no way, like you
were just such a joy.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
How it's for similar reasons. They're the ones that really
rock you, aren't they.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
It's just like the you gave some and you made
the world a better place as well. Yeah, but I
guess that, you know, the scary thought is at what price?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, And that's not a nice thing to It's one.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Of those things that you know, there are people out
there who project so much, so much fun, joy, laughter,
but inside that's up with their living. And part of
me felt like that, and I think that's why when
he died it affected me as much as it did,
because it was like, yeah, you carried all this pain,
(18:11):
but you brought so much joy to people, and obviously
what you were doing was masking your pain by making people.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Laugh, masking the pain.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Or also like I think, because you know, people like
Robin and people like is it twitch twitch? I think
I think because they've got obviously so much pain.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
It it's like because they know how hard it.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Can be, they know how important it is people laugh. Yes,
It's like I know what it feels like to hurt,
and I don't want anyone to feel what I'm feeling.
So I'm just going to put all my energy into
making sure that people feels great.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That's how I deal with stuff, something that's going wrong.
I always make a joke out of it, trying to
make people laugh, you know, things like that.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Of course, Yeah, we.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Doi thank you so much. This has just it seriously
has been an absolute pleasure much.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I'm a.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
What were we to remember?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No, we'll get to the book read it later as
I get to the five love languages you know?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Oh no, no love languages?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Was it physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And how many of I got to get?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Quality time?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Quality time?
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Gifts and surprise?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Which one are you as in?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Which one do I like to receive? Which one I
like to give receive? Oh god, good now, I think
I like words of affirmation? Yeah, and quality time?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Those of you my two ones?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:42):
What would be mim would be gifts and surprises, which
took a bit for me to like get because I'm
not a gift you. Gifts is just not I'm just like,
let's just cut. Gifts were all stressed but in someone's
I got to get him a gift. So much admin
around and we all hate it, but we all just
(20:03):
keep doing it and just like, let's just delete gifts.
Let stand it anyway. But she likes that, and it's
funny I think for me. Sorry I keep talking, but
I think the reason I hate gift giving, I can
be a bit of a perfectionis sometimes and so the
idea of not giving someone the perfect gift really stretched
me out. And so I didn't like getting a gift
that would just be like, I just don't think this
(20:24):
is perfect, and then I wouldn't get a gift, and
then that's way worse than getting a gift for subpar.
And it's taken me a while, taking a lot of
development for me for him to go like, I don't
care what the gift is, it's the fact that you thought.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Of exactly exactly surprised.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
So I can get out, I can come home with
two minute nodles And she's like, that means the world
to me.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
You stopped and you thought of me.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's it's exactly right On that note, Why what you've.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Been listening to life as we know it Unfiltered with
Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron. If you liked this episode,
please leave us a review or drop a comment on
our socials. We love hearing from you. You can also
come hang out with us on Instagram at lifeasweow It
dot podcast and on Facebook at Life as We Know It.
And please see that follow button on your favorite podcast app.
(21:14):
If you're not following us yet, catch up with you
in our next episode.
Every day brings a new story. The life isn't perfect,
but it's perfectly ours, with raw conversations, inspiring stories and
laugh until you cry moments we hit him. I'm pack
it all and figure it out together, one episode at
a time. This is life as we know it, unfiltered,
with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Joining us in this episode. Woody whitelaw one half of
the Kiss Network Drive show Will and Woody. If you
missed the last chat we had with him, please make
sure you check it out. Okay, in the meantime, enjoy
this episode.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Obviously, I'm sanguine.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
I said that right, And I'm not sure whether this
is in the personality traits, but the sanguine needs time.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
To recharge as well.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
Let's say one hundred is when I'm up, really up
and about ye, I can't do fifty.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't do fifty, one.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Hundred back to zero.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
And so for a long time and especially being single
or not living with someone and not having a child,
especially you can you find your time to go and
recharge by yourself. And that for me included like like honestly,
it's like not talking for a really long time, and
so holidays for me for a long time were just
(01:20):
find anywhere which is not around humans. And the win
here is if you can have two weeks without saying.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
More than ten words. Wow, that's kind of like that.
That for me is like a dream holiday.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So that's what you used to do.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
That's what I used to do.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Yeah, so I'd like, I really strange holiday where I
spent ten days in a tent we weren't going to
but effectively to hear this now.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I want to hear this now, so on your own
camping out the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
That was actually this. It's a it's an echo retreat.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
In it's just south of Broom and they had these
tent setups and I so again knowing that I go
into these holidays, I'm like, this is my charge.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I just don't want to. I don't want to. I
don't want to not because it's weird.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
It's not only not talking to me, it's like I
find being around humans can be tiring because I'm very
my awareness is very high, Like I'm constantly picking up
on like what you're doing physically, what your facial expressions are,
and that is like I've always seen that as a
bit of a superpower, but it drains you. So so
if ever I've got time off, it's like, just get
(02:23):
away from all stimulus for as long as you can.
But anyway, so I go to this Echo of Retreat.
And people usually go to this Echo Retreat for like
one night, two nights because it's just it's nothing. It's
just tent on a beach effectively. And I booked it
for ten days, and I remember when I spoke to
the person checking in, they were like ten days. I
was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and they were like, no
one's evastated days. You know, it's just it's literally just
(02:44):
a tend and I was like, yeah, it sounds great.
And then I didn't realize this was going on, but
apparently the staff that work at this Echo Retreat, we're
all starting discussions around what they think the guy in
the tent's doing.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
And the like. It was like the sightings of.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Foot when they'd seen me, and they like, I saw
I saw a tent boy and they were like he
was out of his tent and like, yeah, yeah, he
went for a swim.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Did you talk to him.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
No, I didn't talk to him, but he's alive. So
I had this ten days. And I only know that
because one of.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Them eventually approached me and it was just like.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Hey, tenoy, do you want to like hang out with
this or like there's like talk like you've been here
for a while, feels like you want to You just
want to.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
We're all gonna have drinks all the stuff.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
And I was, and you know, I'm also not very
good at saying no, I didn't want to go, but
I was like, yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Absolutely, that sounds great. And then when I had drinks
with them, all they were like we were all really
freaked out about you.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
We're like we don't know what you were eating, Like
we thought you were some Buddhist monk or something doing
like a ten day no eating things. So but anyway,
so that is that is previously how I used to holiday,
but I definitely don't have that freedom now. Yeah, and
when it gets to holidays for me now, I if
I have time off work, I want to spend.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Max time with Remy.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Maybe maybe there'll be a one night or two night
little get away for me is like a full recharge,
or I'll go for like a big big bike ride,
big bush bark rider, the same thing. There's limits stimulus,
but generally speaking on holidays, it's like this is a
chance to see hang out.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
With Remy like a lot.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
But because of that and I'm because of me not
getting my no stimulus weird tent boy holidays. At some
point I had to let in, let in mim on
there is going to be time where I just it's
like everything just shuts down and that will be difficult
to be around.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
And in that time I probably won't be.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I just won't be. It's I think it's it's not
necessarily that I become really bad, but it's just that
it's very different to what I'm usually like, like I am.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
A very very positive person.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
Stuff, but like she'll have to deal with or she's
she's learned that she also has to deal with Recharge.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Boy and he's just very quiet.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
And for her it took a bit too, And it
took a bit for me to accept that she loved
te boy too.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I think that was.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Because her time away from you, because it's time to recharge.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I think she picked up on before I really did.
Just you know, as soon as you have a partner
he spent so much time with and you love so much,
they start to get you almost more than you get
yourself front, and she was picking up on me of
like it's like you're you're forcing something or it's like
you're you're making effort to be you.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I think she was.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
Kind of seeing that and the reason I was doing
that because I was like, I don't want you to
see just flat tent boy anyway. But we've kind of
like grown through that, so I think for her, for
me it was it's kind of the flip side. It
was like, I love that you allow me to be
that nothing for a bit to recharge.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
So do you do that home as well? Like do
you go just leave me for twenty four hours in
a room?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
So I'm really bad at asking for.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
It, right, So you've got to wait for her to
recognize it.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Yeah right, yeah, which isn't fair as well sometimes because
I can.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
She may not read the signs. Sometimes she's so much
else going on and.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Then they might be a bit we could workshop this.
Speaker 5 (06:06):
Yeah yeah, yeah, here's a question.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Then you're not good asking for it. Why what is
it that makes you not feel you can go and
ask for that time?
Speaker 3 (06:22):
So I think.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I think it's because I feel like I'll be letting
her down, or like if I'm not, because everything I'm
always doing with social interaction is I'm always trying to
make that person walk away feeling a bit better about themselves.
And that can I know that very naturally. It's not
like I'm trying to do that. That is just like,
that is just what I will do. And if I
have a social interaction with someone and I feel like
(06:46):
they've walked away from that and I've either slightly offended
them or for whatever reason, they feel a bit worse
after an interaction, that will just destroy me. So the
idea of not being that cheerleader for mem at all
times times it's quite difficult for me to deal with
I reckon.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So I I.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Guess the other part of that is that I never
want to admit to her that I need recharging because
I'm supposed to be the energy you bring arms, and
I was supposed to be the energized and I was
supposed to be the one that holds everyone up, and
I'm keeping I'm always happy to never worry about me,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
That's that's what I want to project.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
But you know, when you with someone for long enough
and you live with them, it's like you can't you
can't keep living that life totally. And that's when you know,
I'll feel she'll notice like an irritability about me or
something which is like you're you've you've gone too far, like.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
You're you're empty and you're still pushing. But that's hard.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
It's it's it's hard for me to admit to myself
that I'm empty as well, like and I'll almost like
lie to myself, I no, no, I'm not empty. I'm
good and good, I'm good, and then then we'll go
off you go boy afterwards, and this is I mean,
(08:08):
this is an absolute clazic. But after it's happened, I'm
always able to go like, oh I was flat and
are you were? And then and then we talk about
it and it's like what did you want me to do?
Did I do the right thing? And and MIM's learnt
as well that the best thing to do is literally
like just get away from me, or like just find
a way to get me alone, or like just let
me be by myself because even if and that's been
(08:30):
hard for her because she's a very nurturing person. So
the way that she shows care for something, if someone's
feeling a bit flat or something like she's like, what
can I do for you? I'll bring you this, I'll
do that. That's the worst thing to do for me.
Anyone saying how can I help? It's like, it's like
making it worse, making it worse. Just let me let
you work through it yourself.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
It's totally masculine. Feminine, masculine goes into the man cave
and you know that's yeah, You've got that polarity in
your in your relationship totally yeah. And I wass thinking
to you, like how comforting to have someone accept you?
It's best on that sort of level.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That's awesome, and it's taken some There's been absolutely friction
along the way there because we we because we're so
we are that polar opposites there, and that if you
flip it, and if Mims feeling a bit flat or
Mims feeling down, my natural reaction is get away.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
From her, leave her alone. That's because because that's what
you like, right, I'm.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
Treating you the way that I would want to be treated.
So if you're feeling down, I better make myself scarce
and get away from you. All she wants is a
cuddle and like I love you, And what can I
get for you?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Because that's what she would naturally want it. It's so
funny because I thought you were going to say your
natural instinct would be to try and make her laugh
and bring her out of that.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
It's a personality like initially like initially yes, but then
if it's like if it's like you're no, you're not
you're not good at all, or even if it's sickness,
you know, it doesn't do your mental thing. It's just
like sickness. It will get to a point where it's like,
oh no, you need to be left alone now, yep, yep,
which is which is just it's just like a rewiring
for me of like because I'll still almost see that
and like it's almost like I'll go to get away
(10:08):
and then be like, oh.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
No, it takes time to learn, doesn't it.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Totally?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, totally, And lots of conversations also, just lots of
like me and I can be quite good now, like
just doing a little bit of like a review of
how something happens. So it's like, let's talk about yesterday.
What happened was you were empty and then I tried
to help you and then you got angry at me. Yeah,
so no one really is anything wrong, but.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Next time, let's try it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
But it's good that you talk about that, yeah, and
you don't get into an argument over it, because that
would be a natural thing that a lot of people
would do, that you bring that up and then an
argument would start.
Speaker 5 (10:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Yeah, And there have been there have been arguments along
the way, absolutely, but I think we've always been very
good even if we do have an argument then talking
about it more rationally afterwards.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
And because we're both very very light.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Fun people as well, we're very quick to go from
fight to fun, yeah, which is which is a good
trade that we've got. Yeah, I think, And we can
even pick up on things that happened in the fight
that were quite funny. It's like someone where it's like,
how about when you threw down the banana, Like that
was just so so ship and then you're like, yeah,
(11:21):
I knew it at the time that banana was bad.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
And then you're there making banana cake together exactly.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
But you've both got so much self.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
Awareness and there's this really like deep respect for each
other and wanting to resolve things and make things work.
I think that's so beautiful. And I think that you
should you know when the when you're feeling what you
need to be tent boy, just get the sleeping bag
out and just put it on and you could stand
in the doorway and you just go, it's time.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Close my zip for me.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
Help you into that process of entering the tent cave.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Funny, we could keep talking, but a little awesome guest.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
It's really fun. Of course it was worth it almost
it was.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
I don't think I've laughed this much, you know in
our podcast.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Until Steph text you guys, Oh my god, what is
a guest? Jesus, I'm coming back. I'm returning to the pot.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Well, you've got a little one to get home to
should be asleep.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
My wife will be awake there, so she'll be excited
to date night hopefully justly.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Do you do date night?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Yeah, we do.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
We're very so last night we actually stayed at Crown
together a night at Crown, had dinner at Spice Temple,
So we find that very important. We're very lucky that
we've got By, said to grandparents here, so they always
very happy to take By for the night. So yesterday
she she was in daycare and then so Min was
(13:03):
able to go to the hotel and she just had
like an afternoon just full relax, so watch.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Some TV, do nothing.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Then I finished work and joined her at the hotel,
went out for dinner. And it's super important for us
to just like really prioritize nights where it's like because
it's funny. Initially with Remy, the nights that we were
getting someone to babysit, the nights we were giving her
to a grandparent, was when we had like a wedding
or an event on. Yeah, and it's fun when you
get to an event, it's yeah, we're hanging out, but
(13:32):
also we're hanging out with everyone at a party, so
we're not actually getting like quality you and me time,
and you know you kind of view, Oh, I guess
we're hanging out together every night with Remy. But it's
super important that we're like, no, no, no, let's keep doing
special things every now and then just the two of us. Yeah,
So we had that last night.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Which was really cool.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
That's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Now, one more question that we want to ask you.
This is an easy one. Okay, Yeah, totally different to
everything else we've been talking about. Pretty death. Yes, is
there or has there been a celebrity death that has
you know that you felt that has impacted you.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
So yeah, so absolutely a few come to mind, but
I would say the number one is Robin Williams.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Me too, Is that me too?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Yeah? Yeah, I would never post about anybody who has
passed away, but Robin Williams affected me that much. I
actually did something.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Actually I was because I was on air the day
after in Perth and got a little bit hairy because
I I pretty much broke a radio code. But because
I was just I was just so torn up about Robin,
and because Robin has just I mean everyone's seen him
on screen and just felt better interviews and you just
(14:51):
he's right one of those people who you look at
him and you're like every interaction you come away from
you've made someone feel better. So it almost like just
like I watched my dad do as I was growing up,
Like it becomes like a bit of a north Staff
or you of like, oh, you just want to you
just want to be able to spread joy like that
guy does everywhere. And also it's funny you look at
him and you go, God, you must be so tired,
like the effort that you put in as well so
(15:12):
he's just such a special person for him to get
to a point where and I don't know exactly, but
I think the story is that he was starting to
it was having a mental suffer depression, was suffering depression.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
But he had depression for a long time. Yeah, so, yeah,
he'd been carrying a lot of stuff for a long time.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Did he have some Parkinson's coming on?
Speaker 5 (15:30):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
No, I didn't hear that, okay, because I thought.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
There was something around like he was starting to like
lines were getting harder to remember and maybe not maybe
I know.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
He had like drug problem at one point, problem that
sort of stuff, but I don't remember. But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
But it was just I think the bit that obviously
there's loving him to one side, and then the idea
that he would ever be at the point in his
life where he would feel like I don't want to
be here anyway.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
It was just its just heartbreaking rocked me. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
On air in Perth, I think I said we spoke
about him and talked about how many loved him, and
then I think I said something like, well, he's in
the only thing that's making me.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Getting me through this is knowing that he's.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Up there in heaven right now in a better place,
making a whole lot of angels laugh, which which I
thought it didn't much of the comment. But anyway, that
is breaking a radio code because it's like, when it
comes to talking about things like suicide, you just can't
be saying anything that condone that, which was which is
(16:36):
actually a very good code to have, right, but it's like,
you don't you ever want to be talking about suicide
and make it seem like he's done that was the
right thing to do, because it is it is never
ever ever the right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
But anyway, Yeah, that was definitely the one that that
blocks me the most. And we're the same, but the
same who is yours?
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Was kind of no, it's not funny, but it was
because I was trying to think about it. And I
remember when Princess Doona passed.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Away and that felt really big.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
But the one that really shocked me was if it
was last year or the year before, was the guy
on the Allan Show, twitch Twitcheah. I just loved him,
and I just, I guess kind of like a Robin Williams,
like you just bought so much joy. He had such
a beautiful fun of energy, and never ever, ever, in
(17:25):
a million years would I think someone like him would
take his life.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
And I just remember seeing go no way, like you
were just such a joy.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
How it's for similar reasons. They're the ones that really
rock you, aren't they.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
It's just like the you gave some and you made
the world a better place as well. Yeah, but I
guess that, you know, the scary thought is at what price?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, And that's not a nice thing to It's one.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Of those things that you know, there are people out
there who project so much, so much fun, joy, laughter,
but inside that's up with their living. And part of
me felt like that, and I think that's why when
he died it affected me as much as it did,
because it was like, yeah, you carried all this pain,
(18:11):
but you brought so much joy to people, and obviously
what you were doing was masking your pain by making people.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Laugh, masking the pain.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
Or also like I think, because you know, people like
Robin and people like is it twitch twitch? I think
I think because they've got obviously so much pain.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
It it's like because they know how hard it.
Speaker 4 (18:29):
Can be, they know how important it is people laugh. Yes,
It's like I know what it feels like to hurt,
and I don't want anyone to feel what I'm feeling.
So I'm just going to put all my energy into
making sure that people feels great.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That's how I deal with stuff, something that's going wrong.
I always make a joke out of it, trying to
make people laugh, you know, things like that.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Of course, Yeah, we.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Doi thank you so much. This has just it seriously
has been an absolute pleasure much.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I'm a.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
What were we to remember?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
No, we'll get to the book read it later as
I get to the five love languages you know?
Speaker 5 (19:10):
Oh no, no love languages?
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Was it physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
And how many of I got to get?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Quality time?
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Quality time?
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Gifts and surprise?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Which one are you as in?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Which one do I like to receive? Which one I
like to give receive? Oh god, good now, I think
I like words of affirmation? Yeah, and quality time?
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Those of you my two ones?
Speaker 5 (19:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (19:42):
What would be mim would be gifts and surprises, which
took a bit for me to like get because I'm
not a gift you. Gifts is just not I'm just like,
let's just cut. Gifts were all stressed but in someone's
I got to get him a gift. So much admin
around and we all hate it, but we all just
(20:03):
keep doing it and just like, let's just delete gifts.
Let stand it anyway. But she likes that, and it's
funny I think for me. Sorry I keep talking, but
I think the reason I hate gift giving, I can
be a bit of a perfectionis sometimes and so the
idea of not giving someone the perfect gift really stretched
me out. And so I didn't like getting a gift
that would just be like, I just don't think this
(20:24):
is perfect, and then I wouldn't get a gift, and
then that's way worse than getting a gift for subpar.
And it's taken me a while, taking a lot of
development for me for him to go like, I don't
care what the gift is, it's the fact that you thought.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Of exactly exactly surprised.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
So I can get out, I can come home with
two minute nodles And she's like, that means the world
to me.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
You stopped and you thought of me.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
That's it's exactly right On that note, Why what you've.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Been listening to life as we know it Unfiltered with
Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron. If you liked this episode,
please leave us a review or drop a comment on
our socials. We love hearing from you. You can also
come hang out with us on Instagram at lifeasweow It
dot podcast and on Facebook at Life as We Know It.
And please see that follow button on your favorite podcast app.
(21:14):
If you're not following us yet, catch up with you
in our next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Are You A Charlotte?
In 1997, actress Kristin Davis’ life was forever changed when she took on the role of Charlotte York in Sex and the City. As we watched Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte navigate relationships in NYC, the show helped push once unacceptable conversation topics out of the shadows and altered the narrative around women and sex. We all saw ourselves in them as they searched for fulfillment in life, sex and friendships. Now, Kristin Davis wants to connect with you, the fans, and share untold stories and all the behind the scenes. Together, with Kristin and special guests, what will begin with Sex and the City will evolve into talks about themes that are still so relevant today. "Are you a Charlotte?" is much more than just rewatching this beloved show, it brings the past and the present together as we talk with heart, humor and of course some optimism.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com