March 21, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode, Janelle opens up about her journey with ADHD and how her unique ability, Synesthesia - where she sees and smells fragrances as colours - plays a key role in creating Myles Gray’s signature scents.
She also gets real about the challenges of working with her husband. As an electrician by trade, Nathan had no idea what he was stepping into when he joined the business – the role nearly broke their marriage. Janelle shares the highs, the lows, and the lessons learned from mixing love and business.
We have a special treat for our LAWKI listeners - use the code LAWKI30 at checkout for an exclusive 30% discount on Myles Gray candles!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Every day brings a new story.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
The life isn't perfect, but it's perfectly ours with raw conversations,
inspiring stories and laugh until you cry moments we hit them.
I unpack it all and figure it out together, one
episode at a time. This is life as we know it,
Unfiltered with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hello and welcome that we are chatting with Miles Gray
founder Janelle Pallerbrook. Hopefully you caught our last episode and
you heard Janelle's story on how Miles Gray was formed.
We continue our chat learning about the science of candle baking.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
The best thing about working with Swywak so we use Swywaks,
which is and we use the best quality Swewaks on
the market, but there have been issues with raw ingredients.
So sometimes you can get a batch that has been
sitting kind of cooling for a while or like or
I don't know, like our supply keeps it in like
(01:05):
a cooled area, and then others you get and they've
just made it okay, So it depends how long it
sits in the warehouse weld, which is something we've discovered.
But then also because we live in Australia and we
live in Melbourne and we're twenty five different. Yeah, we
pour in a humidified climate, so we've got our in
(01:25):
our warehouse. It's like, oh, we've got full air conditioners
and we have like a humidity scale. So there are
some days where we can't pour. We'll plan to pour
and we can't because it's not the rightture temperature or climate. Yeah,
and then the stock sitting on the shelves have to
remain at a specific temperature, so it's actually really hard
in summer.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Summer you don't think about.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Yeah, winter I could pump out thousands of candles a
day because it's not a volatile condition. But summer is
such a volatile condition. And then when we're shipping some
when it's over thirty degrees, we can't send parcels because
they see, yeah, so this is the other thing. Someone
will we have really fast shipping turnaround, And there was
one day where it was over thirty five, like seven days.
(02:08):
Our message customers, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I can
absolutely send it express post if you want asap, or
can we wait till next week because I can't be
that it's going to come the way I want.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, I have no idea about that.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
The things you've got to think about it.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
When you have a natural product, it's it can be.
It can be volatile in conditions, but it's much better
for your health. To burn a soy candle with natural
fragrance and a paraffin candle with synthetic you're getting two
petrol derivatives together and you're just putting fumes into your air.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Right, So it's natural.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Natural fragrance fragrance. So natural fragrances are derived from the source.
So like when we say we've got vanilla notes, it
comes from the vanilla bean. It's not a chemical compound
made in a lab. It's the compression that they use.
They heat it up, it tends to steam and then
it turns to a liquid, and that's how you get
essential wheels. Well, essentral oils are like a more purified
(03:03):
version and they're really volatile in candles because they're highly flammable.
So yeah, so we use the natural fragrance and the
soy wax.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah, so when you started it was just candles, and
now your range includes diffuses.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
You've even got perfumes, Yes, perfumes.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
The perfumes were tricky, well, I mean like obviously having
a fragrance background that's helped you create the perfumes.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
We weren't sure if we're going to launch them under
Miles Gray or create a new brand, but I think
we'll continue doing everything under Miles Gray. It's just hard
with the brand messaging because we are about community instead
of lack aesthetic. But yeah, we've got perfumes. We're bringing
back bath salts.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They're really cool.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
We have We have done like a limited edition run
of body oils and I call that like a test phase.
The body oil and the room sprays were The room
sprays are my favorite product, but they're probably the one
that gives us the most grief because the bottle that
(04:09):
we get we use all Australian suppliers as well, so
we don't actually import anything from overseas, so we supports
another part of our business. We support Australian local businesses,
so all of our supplies are from Australia, most in Melbourne.
Oh well yeah, and the room spray bottles, the sprayers,
the crystals get stuck in the spray nozzle and it
(04:31):
is of my existence.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Bigger crystals then they don't fit in that, so.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I just it's been like two years where I've had this.
We'll change the bottle, it's going to be the same problem.
We'll change the spray. They don't make them that big.
But I think we might have found a solution to
our problem. But I'm not gonna I'm not going to
get to the ahead of myself. But I'm always sending
out new spray nozzles because they they get they cut
(05:01):
the tub and it's just.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I've never had that.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
And there are some customers who it happens to every
single time, and then there are customers like you.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I don't know how to shake the bottle around and
get the posts out of the way.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
That's what it is to need to do a video.
Speaker 6 (05:15):
Because it's never happened to me.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
You know.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I want to ask you because we were talking about
the core range. There's now ten candles there. But you're
always coming up with new ideas and new fragrances. I mean,
like the one that you've got at the moment, serice, right,
So this has got that cherry smell to it. Is
that something that you've just one day gone I'm going
to create this or is it because there's intentions with
all the candles you have that you've gone, okay, let's
(05:51):
create a candle that is for confidence that people who
need a bit of confidence. And so how do how
do you determine what fragrance is going to give you.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
That I have ADHD. I was diagnosed last year and
I haven't done it yet, but I will. I suspect
I have a little bit of autistic traits because the
way my brain works, it's not I'm very tactile, so
I can when I smell a fragrance, I can actually
picture it and it comes as a color.
Speaker 7 (06:20):
Oh, that's that's a synth Synthesesia is it? Lord has
that you know, the single Lord and there's some other singers.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Well, yes, so when I and this is why the
last few years it was really hard to create new
products because I felt so foggy. So we actually have
six candles just backlogged as limited edition because I don't
have a space for them as core yet. I don't.
I don't feel like our customers need them like every
(06:47):
minute of the day. So I will smell fragrances or
I'll I'll feeling really creative. It's kind of like when
a singer writes a song like when you're feeling really creative,
you can. I can create ten different fragrances and then
I'll smell them and think about what feeling it gives me,
and then I think about, okay, well what crystal brings
that feeling? And then from that we'll go to the
(07:10):
color of the packaging and I design all the packaging
and then I send it to our designer and they
like all my notes. They're like, oh gosh, this woman's crazy.
But series came out in February, and then the packaging
is kind of reminiscent of Valentine's Day. The March one
is a peach fragrance. Beautiful and it's orange, and it's
(07:34):
really really soft. It's really soft, and it's really beautiful,
and it's just one of those fragrances you know, have
burning all day and it's not gonna you know how
some can make you feel a little agitated after a while,
or they're too strong. This one's beautiful, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
The one that you do need to bring in and
make it part of your core range. The Lemon one, Yes,
oh my god, yeah, a picture. I think I bought
two when came no, no, I wish I did. I
wish I did because I don't want to burn them. Now,
Honey bought two and when I burned, and the other
one's sitting on the cupboard like in my shelves because
(08:10):
I don't want to burn it because I know once
I burn it, it's gone, And so I just literally
walk past it, pick it up and go, yeah, okay,
there's my head, put it back down.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
That was actually so funny that that candle we did too.
We did a Malfi and floral passion and my print
my packaging supplier he's in Perth. He's like, I'm trying
to figure out a new way to do candle packaging.
And he's been with us since we started, and now
he does so many candle brands, which is amazing, Like
we helped you to grow, that's awesome. He's like, I
need to figure out this new candle packaging. Do you
(08:37):
have anything that you need printed? Just a limited run
or do it for free for you? And I will
never say no to a free pee of course, not idiot.
But then we don't really do like that was at
a time where we didn't really do limited edition and
I was like, okay, so I in like two hours,
I created this packaging sent it to him and I
was like, shit, what fragrance is going to go with
(08:59):
that packaging. So that it was a week of like
figuring out the fragrances and then we got the packaging
and I was like to Nathan, I don't think these
are going to sell very.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Well, not our normal it didn't think about Tony.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
The two days and Malfi sold out.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Yeah, and we only had five hundred units and they
sold out, and then I didn't have any more units
of packaging. Normally our minimum order is a thousand, so
I was like, sorry, I can't bring it back.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
We will.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I think that fragrance was really beautiful and just really vibrant,
so it'll probably come back at summer time.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Call it Tony's and Malfie.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
It.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
But the thing I find with the candles too, and yeah, okay,
I'm a bit of a nut, right. We joke about
this that I've got so many, but I love them,
And obviously I've said that many times. But for me,
what I find happens, and this is obviously the whole
idea behind them, is that depending on my mood or
how I you will determine which candle I burn, and
(10:03):
when I'm sitting at my desk, usually I burn Espree
clear right. But some days I go, see I never
get the names right, So this is a good thing.
Abou Janelle being here, you can correct me. Sometimes I go,
I really need more vase.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
So I will not say them correctly either, because I
don't have a French accent and I'm not someone that
saying I want to go get as what made.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
You go with the French names? Then?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Because Fragrance was founded in France. France is the home
of Fragrance. And when I was working at Mecca, I
would I can't even say Maison. I can't even say
the perfumer's name right. And I was talking to my
dad about it before he passed away, and sorry, this
was another thing that my dad used to say to me.
Time is not refundable. And he used to tell me
(10:46):
I would regret working so much when Miles was so young,
and it's something that now I think when we think
about like how we're living our life, it's something really strong.
But he would always make fun of me because I
couldn't say the French words. So I was like, all right,
when I was thinking about the branding of the random,
like I want to use French terminology like gitam, I'll
(11:07):
call it jetty army because that's kind of how it spelled.
I called jet now, yeah, yeah, jet, and jet is
the candle of love. So you can either call it
like the actual French name, where you can just call
it like the candle of deflection or the candle of love.
But sometimes we do get a bit of slack because
they're like, you're an Australian brand, why are using French names?
But I think multiculturalism is so Australian and it's so
(11:29):
great to celebrate different cultures and even if I say
it in an Australian accent and butcher the word like
I'm very sorry, but it's there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yeah, Notice the lights just flashed.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Yeah what happened?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Okay, So we have this theory and it started probably yes,
I was about to say, I think your dad's here,
because usually and this started with another guest that we had.
We started talking about Michael Hutchins and the lights just like, okay,
well Michael's here, And anytime we talk about something that
might be related to a specific person who maybe not here,
(12:04):
flash I.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Need to bring David in him, you know, David the medium. Yes,
we need to bring.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Him a friend of yours on love him.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
The lights will just go flash flash.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know.
Speaker 7 (12:18):
I want to ask about working together with Nathan. So
obviously you've got a very supportive family. How does that
work working together, Like, have you guys had to find
your way with it or has it been a natural fit.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
So nath doesn't currently work in the business, he has
his own full time job, but when he did, he
worked in the business for two and a half years
and he's like my support person, you know how people
have support labradors, not like I wouldn't have been able
(12:58):
to come here without him. My kids are similar, like
I don't go to groceries on my own, Like I
can't do anything on my own. I feel really yeah,
something I got to work on. But he is the
most supportive person in my life and he will never
be scared to tell me if something's wrong or but
in a really kind way. So when he worked in
the business, it was about two and a half years,
(13:18):
and it was when it was peak stress, high scale.
We were doing eight figures in a year, tens of
millions of dollars. Wow, and neither of us had any experience.
He's an electrician. And I bought him in and I'm like,
all right, I need to be home with the kids.
I want to just do the creative stuff. You need
to do everything else. He'd never started a desk in
(13:40):
his life. And I put this poor man behind a
desk with a team of seventeen women. Oh my god,
from the ages of fifteen. Because we had a work
experienced girl who was fantastic, and then she asked if
she could work part time. We're like, of course. Her
family was lovely, So fifteen up until fifty five. It
(14:01):
was a very large age range of all women know men.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I was about to say, and what were they all
in sync with it periods as well?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yeah, and I he looked after wholesale, he looked after accounting.
I was supposed to be the creative director and he
was supposed to be like the CFO type with no
actual experience, And he did his role so well. He
did wholesale so incredibly well. All of our stockers adore him.
(14:33):
We used to do trade When we did trade shows
and Nathan was on the stand. There would be some
days where he'd be on his own and the other
girls would be for lunch. We'd have stockers come and
help him because he'd be so busy. And Elizabeth, I
remember she was helping him. She's like, this is the
best candles. Nathan's amazing. He's so supportive. So he was
very good at his job. But I but you can
(14:56):
only do like one thing at a time, right, And
I've given him about five roles because I'm doing about ten.
So cracks started to happen and we'd get really angry
with each other because one of us will drop the
ball and then the other would have to pick it up,
and it was really really hard, and so then we
decided that it's probably not best to work together. And
(15:19):
now we're going back to working together soon. But we're
at a really different stage in our life and in
our relationship because we kind of, I guess we put
the pressure on the business for our relationship, like we
didn't fix problems before he came into the business. And
then we're like, well, it was working together that made
(15:39):
us fight, Yeah, right, but you know, probably were already
there before he came in. Yeah, So we worked over
the last two years, we've worked really hard on our
relationship and on each other and figuring out our communication
style and what the other needs from that person. And
we have really clear defined boundaries for when he does
(16:01):
come back, and he's not coming back in a full
time capacity because he is going to be an electrician still.
Speaker 7 (16:07):
So yeah, so what are some of the boundaries, Because
I think a lot of our listeners would be really
interested in how a couple works together. How did you
set boundaries with each other?
Speaker 4 (16:19):
So when we work together a few years ago, this
didn't work. So if anyone's trying, if anyone's in this situation,
we would say as soon as we get home, we're
not talking about work, and then we'd be still checking
our emails or something would happen. It's our family business,
it is our life. It's all we talk about, even now,
like we you know, it's not all we talk about,
but it's incorporated into our entire life. If something breaks
(16:43):
at seven o'clock at night, I have to fix it.
So we can't just say I'm going home for the day,
I'm done. You know, if a team member was sick
or if something happened in their life, we were there
to support them, So that was a boundary. That was terrible.
We should not have done that. But so now we
have really clear roles. So we've figured out Nathan finances
(17:04):
stress him out. So I do the finances. And I
think that I was just like pushing the finances on
him because it seems more of like a masculine role,
Like it seems like men in businesses generally look after
the finances. Yeah, but it's something I'm really good at.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I was about to say, you're brave handing over. There's
no way I would hand over, not not that there's
anything with the man doing. I would not hand finances
over to anybody because for me, that's like that's my thing.
Thank you, don't ever hand say. As Lisa and I
grow with this podcast and then we start making millions
from it, do you want me to look after the finances?
Least tell me?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Okay, it's something I grew up not understanding though, because
I came from a Lososo economic family. So it was
again lots of hard lessons. But we're there now. Our
business is six years old, so we're not just starting
from scratch. We've been through some really hard times and
can now see how we work that situation or how
(17:58):
we didn't work in that situation. So yeah, so clear
constructed roles. We're not much nicer to each other. We don't.
I don't put him down like I used to do
a lot, and a lot of it was me. I
was I was just a ball of stress. I felt
like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders,
trying to mother, trying to mother my stuff. You had
(18:20):
so much to.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Do, so many different hats that you seriously, we're juggling everything.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
I just I feel like a lot of it is
in a work for myself, and he's just such a
yes man. Do you want to go to the moon
as long as he's happy and safe? Yeah, And we
both feel like that as long as we're happy, safe
and supported, and we're really open with our communication, even
(18:45):
if it's sometimes we'll have to say I don't I'm
not trying to hurt your feelings right now, but I
need to get this off my chest, because sometimes even
in relationships, you can try and think of the right
word to say, but then you're not conveying your point correctly,
and you'll try and think of the right word and
then it still comes out wrong. Yeah, So I think
if we just I love you. I just want to
(19:06):
fix this how I'm feeling. It might be a meat issue,
not even a U issue. But let's just chat about this.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, and let me just get it out there so
that I can release it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Yeah, let me say the wrong words to get it
out exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Janelle, you mentioned that last year you were diagnosed with ADHD.
Did you have a suspicion before you were diagnosed that
you had it?
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Like?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Was that Do you think that was a major part
or a major role leading up to everything that was happening,
like you and then once you got diagnosed and you go, oh,
thank God, like it was a relief.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Sort of.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I think that when I think it happens later in women,
especially because we have so much to juggle that we
think that something's wrong with us. And I was having
these instances where I just couldn't focus on one thing
at a time, and I'm like, am I have found
like a brain on urism or something? And then I
I was watching more and more content because it's more
(20:03):
out there now how many women are There's more treatment
for women as well, and there's more places you can
go for help. So I was watching lots of content
from psychologists, and I'm like, Okay, I think I need
to go and get tested because I think I might
need to be medicated. And this is something I'm not
a medication person. So I take blood pressure medication because
I have a high blood pressure and it is the
(20:23):
only tablet I take. If I have a headache, I'll
drink more water, I'll try not to take pan at
all or eurofin. So for me to even say I
think I need to be medicated is quite a large step.
So I did the whole process, and I got medicated
for a little while, and I just felt like it
really dulled my personality. And while so I'm not medicated
(20:45):
for it anymore. So I just I have things that
I do in my day. There's this thing called eat
the frog. I do the thing that I don't want
to do the most first, and then I actually use
colored post it notes and I stick them on my
desk with my task, and then as soon as I
finish that task, I rip it off and it feels
so good. But then it's like a physical reminder that
I actually have a lot of work to do, so
(21:06):
and slack off, you know, like I'm not going to
have lunch until I don't have like a lunch set
lunch time. I don't have lunch until I've finished this task.
So that's how I work, and everyone's different. But doing
the because it was it was like six weeks of
testing and then we've had to come in and the
psychologist had to ask him questions. And then I realized
(21:27):
I went to a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, so I
can actually get medication from the psychologist. I had to
do another which for someone with HD is really quite
triggering because give me another step I don't want to do.
But going through the questionnaire, I've realized that my son
Myles has lots and lots of traits and it has
(21:48):
really helped us in our parenting style because for now
he doesn't need to be medicated. He's just a rumptious
what's the word rumptuous, rambunctious with lots of energy, and
he just needs a little bit of redirection sometimes.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
Yeah, we've come across a few people lately, yes, who
recently got diagnosed with AHD.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
You'd find that very high functioning women are masking symptoms
very well.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
But's some guys, like even with one of our other
guests who we spoke to a couple of weeks ago.
Only in the last month, ye two months now, but
like even he just got diagnosed with ADHD as well.
I think it's more common, like you said, especially amongst women.
But it's almost like, and I don't know whether it's
the awareness of ADHD and that people are talking about
(22:36):
it more, but it's almost like you're hearing of every
second person having ADHD, and it's like, you know, I
have We've been like this most of our lives and
have just thought it's just I'm busy, or I've got
too much on my plate, or I'm you know, juggling
too many balls, going through metapause. I mean, my brain
fog for me was just nuts for a while there.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
But I often wonder because it's it's a condition in
your brain, right, like your brain isn't wired, yes, you
know normal in quotation masks. But I often wonder because
I did have some traits as a kid, and they
just I masked them well obviously, But I wonder if
if our society makes it worse, like if our brain
(23:19):
actually gets worse, like if the wires get worse. I
don't I'm not looked into it, so I don't know
if I'm talking out of my bum but society, it's
really hard to be a person in society. There's so
much pressure on all of us men, men, children like
our list of stuff for the boys, Like they go
to a great school, they come home, they've got homework,
(23:39):
they've got sports, and then on the weekend they've got
more sports. They've got you know, there's no time to.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Rest, there's no downtime to.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Do nothing, to be bored and to you know, and
we're so wired and we're always on our phone and
we're always scrolling, and our eyes are always doing something.
Even Miles wears glasses. And the amount of kids that
I've seen that wear glasses, yes, has skyrocketed. Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And we are really strict with our screen time, Like
they have maybe two hours a week.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Right now, they've got about four hours.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I know.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
This is the great thing about limiting screen time because
if you limit it when you actually need it, Yes,
they will be observed.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah right, they won't bother you and they'll just go
off and do that.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
For all I did. So I've got three boys.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
We didn't have a TV or computers or me and
my husband just had basic phones. So the kids that
never have phones for nineteen years, that's the best. And
my sister this morning, she said, how did you look
after three kids without a TV and a phone? And
I just said I was dedicated to it like that
(24:51):
was that was my job, that was what I valued
the most, and that's how I was going to bring
them up. And thankfully their dad was on board as well,
so we can do it together. Because I said it
would be so tricky if you know once, like doesn't matter,
put it on or whatever. But I felt it so
strongly that I wanted them to know who they were
without all this influence. And I wanted them to know
(25:12):
that they were part of nature and not these wired
kind of beings that you know that we're seeing now.
You know, they're all connected to their phones and everything
like that, and you think, I just think to myself,
is anyone having any I know there's probably not original thought,
but you know, they're just bombarded with thought daily.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Do they get to sit silently and know who they are?
Do you have a TV?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Now?
Speaker 7 (25:37):
I do, but only because I live with my sister,
I live with the whole family.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
I don't watch it myself.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Did you all of a sudden go, oh my god,
TV and set in.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
Front of it.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Annoys the shit out of stimulated.
Speaker 7 (25:54):
Like I like watching a movie every now and then,
but even then, honestly, I'll go and sit in my room.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
And read Mid State or whatever.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Yeah, not to go and party on the weekends, Oh
my god.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
I love that, that downtime and not having just that
constant stimulation.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
We're a movie family, so we It's really funny because
sometimes I chuck on a movie for the kids on
the weekend if I've got a little bit of work
to do on my laptop, and they'll both say, you're
not watching it, You're not watching it with us, Like
they need that engagement with the activity that they're doing.
And I love that because that's why we bought a farm,
so we can, you know, get to know our children
(26:32):
and figure out what their personalities are like and without
anything in between.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah, boys are hard, though they're so full of energy.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, feels aren't much easier.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
I think kids are. Kids are just kids are full
of energy, and we're drained of it because we have
so many commitments. It feels.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Reading something I've recently gotten back into and I used
to read a lot of self help books, but now
I read lots of fiction, like thriller romance books, and
it is my downtime. Like if it's my reward at
the end of the day to read a really good book,
and both of the boys are obsessed with reading, I'll
(27:16):
just read next to me. And it's just such a
You just realize that children soak in their environments so heavi,
so heavily.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
It's like that's their activity with you, that you're all
sitting together reading a book.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
I love it.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
We used toll all lay in bed together and read.
I remember took this really cool photo and there was
five of us in the bed reading and one of
my friends.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Is like, how exactly right.
Speaker 7 (27:40):
I don't just because they don't really know any other way,
you know, and if they see you doing it, they'll
follow and think this is normal.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Now it would be five people like on iPads or
phones next to each other.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Exactly exactly right.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
If you don't get that that feel good chemical from
actually like immersing yourself in a book, it silences the
noise in your brain.
Speaker 7 (28:03):
I love it, And look, you know, I want to
say to my kids are certainly obsessed with technology now,
you know, and that also happened with COVID because they
had to do this schooling from home and everything like that.
But I just feel so happy that they had that
time of getting to know themselves without all of that
(28:24):
stuff just coming at them.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
So yeah, do.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
You know one thing that we ask all our guests
when they come on to our podcast is is there
a celebrity death that has affected you?
Speaker 4 (28:36):
This is really interesting because obviously my broin was created
around a tragic loss, and I personally have never felt
affected by death until my dad passed away. If there
was a celebrity I've been thinking on this because I
said to Nathan, I don't have no no the Queen.
(28:58):
I am such a Lizzy stan I know so much
about her life. She was such an interesting woman, mother,
like the highest figure you could get in society, in
the government, and she had she had four or five kids,
and I know so much about her. How I don't
know how many kids she has because she had their
(29:21):
three boys. Yes, there we go. Yeah, her death actually
felt really somber, like I felt the energy. I think
that the whole world felt that energy. So that's probably
the only celebrity death that in the class. That is
a celebrity.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, famous person for sure.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
No one.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
No one said that one before. I haven't thought about
that one.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Now you have given us a gorgeous gift. Serese Candle.
We've got something for you. I don't know that it
would actually be in this league, but so it comes
in a similar box, except ours is brown, not colorful.
The we need some help with designing boxes.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
We need to do a marketing workshop. Yes, I'll do
your brand branding workshop.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Yes, that would be awesome. Stop it.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
And it's a mug and it's a limited edition because
that was the old crew and the design is from
Liam my Son your joke, Liam Drew. Liam Drew that
he's the best. He's done mine as well. So the
new mugs are on their way. We haven't got them yet.
(30:34):
So you've got limited edition.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Because I'm going to have to come back on the
next month.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Everyone said that I need a full of months. Now
everybody has said that I've got to come back so
I can get the new mug when you've got a
ready yes CUEK thank you so much for coming, and
my man, I'm not been hastling your for ages to
be a guest on our podcast because I know you've
got just such an amazing story. But no, this has
been absolute pleasure and have thorough enjoyed having a proper
(31:01):
chat to you, because whenever we catch up, it's literally
me just running in picking up stock and everyone's busy
running around.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
I go, yep, okay, talk later.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Bye, and we ends up talking for like forty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Well we did the last time. I know, I was like,
oh my god, I love conscious of you. How much
work you had to do and I just held you
up about an hour.
Speaker 4 (31:17):
I think I always have work to do, so I
like to enjoy the conversation for Yeah, it's nice, it
feels refreshing for the soul.
Speaker 7 (31:24):
Yes so, but thank you very much, thank you, and
thank you just for being so open and honest and
sharing your story with us as well.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Really appreciate it. I hope that your listener's got something
out of it.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I'm sure, yeah, more than sure.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
There's always lighted there the channel you've been listening to
Life as we Know It Unfiltered with Tony Tanalia and
Lisa Cameron. If you liked this episode, please leave us
a review or drop a comment on our socials.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
We Love hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You can also come hang out with us on Instagram
at Life as we Know It dot podcast and on
Facebook at Life as we Know It. Oh and please
see that fall hello button on your favorite podcast app.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
If you're not following us yet, catch up
Speaker 2 (32:04):
With you in our next episode.
Every day brings a new story.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
The life isn't perfect, but it's perfectly ours with raw conversations,
inspiring stories and laugh until you cry moments we hit them.
I unpack it all and figure it out together, one
episode at a time. This is life as we know it,
Unfiltered with Tony Tanalia and Lisa Cameron.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Hello and welcome that we are chatting with Miles Gray
founder Janelle Pallerbrook. Hopefully you caught our last episode and
you heard Janelle's story on how Miles Gray was formed.
We continue our chat learning about the science of candle baking.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
The best thing about working with Swywak so we use Swywaks,
which is and we use the best quality Swewaks on
the market, but there have been issues with raw ingredients.
So sometimes you can get a batch that has been
sitting kind of cooling for a while or like or
I don't know, like our supply keeps it in like
(01:05):
a cooled area, and then others you get and they've
just made it okay, So it depends how long it
sits in the warehouse weld, which is something we've discovered.
But then also because we live in Australia and we
live in Melbourne and we're twenty five different. Yeah, we
pour in a humidified climate, so we've got our in
(01:25):
our warehouse. It's like, oh, we've got full air conditioners
and we have like a humidity scale. So there are
some days where we can't pour. We'll plan to pour
and we can't because it's not the rightture temperature or climate. Yeah,
and then the stock sitting on the shelves have to
remain at a specific temperature, so it's actually really hard
in summer.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
Summer you don't think about.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Yeah, winter I could pump out thousands of candles a
day because it's not a volatile condition. But summer is
such a volatile condition. And then when we're shipping some
when it's over thirty degrees, we can't send parcels because
they see, yeah, so this is the other thing. Someone
will we have really fast shipping turnaround, And there was
one day where it was over thirty five, like seven days.
(02:08):
Our message customers, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I can
absolutely send it express post if you want asap, or
can we wait till next week because I can't be
that it's going to come the way I want.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, I have no idea about that.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
The things you've got to think about it.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
When you have a natural product, it's it can be.
It can be volatile in conditions, but it's much better
for your health. To burn a soy candle with natural
fragrance and a paraffin candle with synthetic you're getting two
petrol derivatives together and you're just putting fumes into your air.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Right, So it's natural.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Natural fragrance fragrance. So natural fragrances are derived from the source.
So like when we say we've got vanilla notes, it
comes from the vanilla bean. It's not a chemical compound
made in a lab. It's the compression that they use.
They heat it up, it tends to steam and then
it turns to a liquid, and that's how you get
essential wheels. Well, essentral oils are like a more purified
(03:03):
version and they're really volatile in candles because they're highly flammable.
So yeah, so we use the natural fragrance and the
soy wax.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah, so when you started it was just candles, and
now your range includes diffuses.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
You've even got perfumes, Yes, perfumes.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
The perfumes were tricky, well, I mean like obviously having
a fragrance background that's helped you create the perfumes.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
We weren't sure if we're going to launch them under
Miles Gray or create a new brand, but I think
we'll continue doing everything under Miles Gray. It's just hard
with the brand messaging because we are about community instead
of lack aesthetic. But yeah, we've got perfumes. We're bringing
back bath salts.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They're really cool.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
We have We have done like a limited edition run
of body oils and I call that like a test phase.
The body oil and the room sprays were The room
sprays are my favorite product, but they're probably the one
that gives us the most grief because the bottle that
(04:09):
we get we use all Australian suppliers as well, so
we don't actually import anything from overseas, so we supports
another part of our business. We support Australian local businesses,
so all of our supplies are from Australia, most in Melbourne.
Oh well yeah, and the room spray bottles, the sprayers,
the crystals get stuck in the spray nozzle and it
(04:31):
is of my existence.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Bigger crystals then they don't fit in that, so.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I just it's been like two years where I've had this.
We'll change the bottle, it's going to be the same problem.
We'll change the spray. They don't make them that big.
But I think we might have found a solution to
our problem. But I'm not gonna I'm not going to
get to the ahead of myself. But I'm always sending
out new spray nozzles because they they get they cut
(05:01):
the tub and it's just.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
I've never had that.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
And there are some customers who it happens to every
single time, and then there are customers like you.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I don't know how to shake the bottle around and
get the posts out of the way.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
That's what it is to need to do a video.
Speaker 6 (05:15):
Because it's never happened to me.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
You know.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I want to ask you because we were talking about
the core range. There's now ten candles there. But you're
always coming up with new ideas and new fragrances. I mean,
like the one that you've got at the moment, serice, right,
So this has got that cherry smell to it. Is
that something that you've just one day gone I'm going
to create this or is it because there's intentions with
all the candles you have that you've gone, okay, let's
(05:51):
create a candle that is for confidence that people who
need a bit of confidence. And so how do how
do you determine what fragrance is going to give you.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
That I have ADHD. I was diagnosed last year and
I haven't done it yet, but I will. I suspect
I have a little bit of autistic traits because the
way my brain works, it's not I'm very tactile, so
I can when I smell a fragrance, I can actually
picture it and it comes as a color.
Speaker 7 (06:20):
Oh, that's that's a synth Synthesesia is it? Lord has
that you know, the single Lord and there's some other singers.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Well, yes, so when I and this is why the
last few years it was really hard to create new
products because I felt so foggy. So we actually have
six candles just backlogged as limited edition because I don't
have a space for them as core yet. I don't.
I don't feel like our customers need them like every
(06:47):
minute of the day. So I will smell fragrances or
I'll I'll feeling really creative. It's kind of like when
a singer writes a song like when you're feeling really creative,
you can. I can create ten different fragrances and then
I'll smell them and think about what feeling it gives me,
and then I think about, okay, well what crystal brings
that feeling? And then from that we'll go to the
(07:10):
color of the packaging and I design all the packaging
and then I send it to our designer and they
like all my notes. They're like, oh gosh, this woman's crazy.
But series came out in February, and then the packaging
is kind of reminiscent of Valentine's Day. The March one
is a peach fragrance. Beautiful and it's orange, and it's
(07:34):
really really soft. It's really soft, and it's really beautiful,
and it's just one of those fragrances you know, have
burning all day and it's not gonna you know how
some can make you feel a little agitated after a while,
or they're too strong. This one's beautiful, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
The one that you do need to bring in and
make it part of your core range. The Lemon one, Yes,
oh my god, yeah, a picture. I think I bought
two when came no, no, I wish I did. I
wish I did because I don't want to burn them. Now,
Honey bought two and when I burned, and the other
one's sitting on the cupboard like in my shelves because
(08:10):
I don't want to burn it because I know once
I burn it, it's gone, And so I just literally
walk past it, pick it up and go, yeah, okay,
there's my head, put it back down.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
That was actually so funny that that candle we did too.
We did a Malfi and floral passion and my print
my packaging supplier he's in Perth. He's like, I'm trying
to figure out a new way to do candle packaging.
And he's been with us since we started, and now
he does so many candle brands, which is amazing, Like
we helped you to grow, that's awesome. He's like, I
need to figure out this new candle packaging. Do you
(08:37):
have anything that you need printed? Just a limited run
or do it for free for you? And I will
never say no to a free pee of course, not idiot.
But then we don't really do like that was at
a time where we didn't really do limited edition and
I was like, okay, so I in like two hours,
I created this packaging sent it to him and I
was like, shit, what fragrance is going to go with
(08:59):
that packaging. So that it was a week of like
figuring out the fragrances and then we got the packaging
and I was like to Nathan, I don't think these
are going to sell very.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Well, not our normal it didn't think about Tony.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
The two days and Malfi sold out.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Yeah, and we only had five hundred units and they
sold out, and then I didn't have any more units
of packaging. Normally our minimum order is a thousand, so
I was like, sorry, I can't bring it back.
Speaker 5 (09:30):
We will.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
I think that fragrance was really beautiful and just really vibrant,
so it'll probably come back at summer time.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Call it Tony's and Malfie.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
It.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
But the thing I find with the candles too, and yeah, okay,
I'm a bit of a nut, right. We joke about
this that I've got so many, but I love them,
And obviously I've said that many times. But for me,
what I find happens, and this is obviously the whole
idea behind them, is that depending on my mood or
how I you will determine which candle I burn, and
(10:03):
when I'm sitting at my desk, usually I burn Espree
clear right. But some days I go, see I never
get the names right, So this is a good thing.
Abou Janelle being here, you can correct me. Sometimes I go,
I really need more vase.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
So I will not say them correctly either, because I
don't have a French accent and I'm not someone that
saying I want to go get as what made.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
You go with the French names? Then?
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Because Fragrance was founded in France. France is the home
of Fragrance. And when I was working at Mecca, I
would I can't even say Maison. I can't even say
the perfumer's name right. And I was talking to my
dad about it before he passed away, and sorry, this
was another thing that my dad used to say to me.
Time is not refundable. And he used to tell me
(10:46):
I would regret working so much when Miles was so young,
and it's something that now I think when we think
about like how we're living our life, it's something really strong.
But he would always make fun of me because I
couldn't say the French words. So I was like, all right,
when I was thinking about the branding of the random,
like I want to use French terminology like gitam, I'll
(11:07):
call it jetty army because that's kind of how it spelled.
I called jet now, yeah, yeah, jet, and jet is
the candle of love. So you can either call it
like the actual French name, where you can just call
it like the candle of deflection or the candle of love.
But sometimes we do get a bit of slack because
they're like, you're an Australian brand, why are using French names?
But I think multiculturalism is so Australian and it's so
(11:29):
great to celebrate different cultures and even if I say
it in an Australian accent and butcher the word like
I'm very sorry, but it's there. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:39):
Yeah, Notice the lights just flashed.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Yeah what happened?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Okay, So we have this theory and it started probably yes,
I was about to say, I think your dad's here,
because usually and this started with another guest that we had.
We started talking about Michael Hutchins and the lights just like, okay,
well Michael's here, And anytime we talk about something that
might be related to a specific person who maybe not here,
(12:04):
flash I.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Need to bring David in him, you know, David the medium. Yes,
we need to bring.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
Him a friend of yours on love him.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
The lights will just go flash flash.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
You know.
Speaker 7 (12:18):
I want to ask about working together with Nathan. So
obviously you've got a very supportive family. How does that
work working together, Like, have you guys had to find
your way with it or has it been a natural fit.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
So nath doesn't currently work in the business, he has
his own full time job, but when he did, he
worked in the business for two and a half years
and he's like my support person, you know how people
have support labradors, not like I wouldn't have been able
(12:58):
to come here without him. My kids are similar, like
I don't go to groceries on my own, Like I
can't do anything on my own. I feel really yeah,
something I got to work on. But he is the
most supportive person in my life and he will never
be scared to tell me if something's wrong or but
in a really kind way. So when he worked in
the business, it was about two and a half years,
(13:18):
and it was when it was peak stress, high scale.
We were doing eight figures in a year, tens of
millions of dollars. Wow, and neither of us had any experience.
He's an electrician. And I bought him in and I'm like,
all right, I need to be home with the kids.
I want to just do the creative stuff. You need
to do everything else. He'd never started a desk in
(13:40):
his life. And I put this poor man behind a
desk with a team of seventeen women. Oh my god,
from the ages of fifteen. Because we had a work
experienced girl who was fantastic, and then she asked if
she could work part time. We're like, of course. Her
family was lovely, So fifteen up until fifty five. It
(14:01):
was a very large age range of all women know men.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I was about to say, and what were they all
in sync with it periods as well?
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yeah, and I he looked after wholesale, he looked after accounting.
I was supposed to be the creative director and he
was supposed to be like the CFO type with no
actual experience, And he did his role so well. He
did wholesale so incredibly well. All of our stockers adore him.
(14:33):
We used to do trade When we did trade shows
and Nathan was on the stand. There would be some
days where he'd be on his own and the other
girls would be for lunch. We'd have stockers come and
help him because he'd be so busy. And Elizabeth, I
remember she was helping him. She's like, this is the
best candles. Nathan's amazing. He's so supportive. So he was
very good at his job. But I but you can
(14:56):
only do like one thing at a time, right, And
I've given him about five roles because I'm doing about ten.
So cracks started to happen and we'd get really angry
with each other because one of us will drop the
ball and then the other would have to pick it up,
and it was really really hard, and so then we
decided that it's probably not best to work together. And
(15:19):
now we're going back to working together soon. But we're
at a really different stage in our life and in
our relationship because we kind of, I guess we put
the pressure on the business for our relationship, like we
didn't fix problems before he came into the business. And
then we're like, well, it was working together that made
(15:39):
us fight, Yeah, right, but you know, probably were already
there before he came in. Yeah, So we worked over
the last two years, we've worked really hard on our
relationship and on each other and figuring out our communication
style and what the other needs from that person. And
we have really clear defined boundaries for when he does
(16:01):
come back, and he's not coming back in a full
time capacity because he is going to be an electrician still.
Speaker 7 (16:07):
So yeah, so what are some of the boundaries, Because
I think a lot of our listeners would be really
interested in how a couple works together. How did you
set boundaries with each other?
Speaker 4 (16:19):
So when we work together a few years ago, this
didn't work. So if anyone's trying, if anyone's in this situation,
we would say as soon as we get home, we're
not talking about work, and then we'd be still checking
our emails or something would happen. It's our family business,
it is our life. It's all we talk about, even now,
like we you know, it's not all we talk about,
but it's incorporated into our entire life. If something breaks
(16:43):
at seven o'clock at night, I have to fix it.
So we can't just say I'm going home for the day,
I'm done. You know, if a team member was sick
or if something happened in their life, we were there
to support them, So that was a boundary. That was terrible.
We should not have done that. But so now we
have really clear roles. So we've figured out Nathan finances
(17:04):
stress him out. So I do the finances. And I
think that I was just like pushing the finances on
him because it seems more of like a masculine role,
Like it seems like men in businesses generally look after
the finances. Yeah, but it's something I'm really good at.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
I was about to say, you're brave handing over. There's
no way I would hand over, not not that there's
anything with the man doing. I would not hand finances
over to anybody because for me, that's like that's my thing.
Thank you, don't ever hand say. As Lisa and I
grow with this podcast and then we start making millions
from it, do you want me to look after the finances?
Least tell me?
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Okay, it's something I grew up not understanding though, because
I came from a Lososo economic family. So it was
again lots of hard lessons. But we're there now. Our
business is six years old, so we're not just starting
from scratch. We've been through some really hard times and
can now see how we work that situation or how
(17:58):
we didn't work in that situation. So yeah, so clear
constructed roles. We're not much nicer to each other. We don't.
I don't put him down like I used to do
a lot, and a lot of it was me. I
was I was just a ball of stress. I felt
like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders,
trying to mother, trying to mother my stuff. You had
(18:20):
so much to.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Do, so many different hats that you seriously, we're juggling everything.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
I just I feel like a lot of it is
in a work for myself, and he's just such a
yes man. Do you want to go to the moon
as long as he's happy and safe? Yeah, And we
both feel like that as long as we're happy, safe
and supported, and we're really open with our communication, even
(18:45):
if it's sometimes we'll have to say I don't I'm
not trying to hurt your feelings right now, but I
need to get this off my chest, because sometimes even
in relationships, you can try and think of the right
word to say, but then you're not conveying your point correctly,
and you'll try and think of the right word and
then it still comes out wrong. Yeah, So I think
if we just I love you. I just want to
(19:06):
fix this how I'm feeling. It might be a meat issue,
not even a U issue. But let's just chat about this.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Yeah, and let me just get it out there so
that I can release it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
Yeah, let me say the wrong words to get it
out exactly exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Janelle, you mentioned that last year you were diagnosed with ADHD.
Did you have a suspicion before you were diagnosed that
you had it?
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Like?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Was that Do you think that was a major part
or a major role leading up to everything that was happening,
like you and then once you got diagnosed and you go, oh,
thank God, like it was a relief.
Speaker 5 (19:39):
Sort of.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
I think that when I think it happens later in women,
especially because we have so much to juggle that we
think that something's wrong with us. And I was having
these instances where I just couldn't focus on one thing
at a time, and I'm like, am I have found
like a brain on urism or something? And then I
I was watching more and more content because it's more
(20:03):
out there now how many women are There's more treatment
for women as well, and there's more places you can
go for help. So I was watching lots of content
from psychologists, and I'm like, Okay, I think I need
to go and get tested because I think I might
need to be medicated. And this is something I'm not
a medication person. So I take blood pressure medication because
I have a high blood pressure and it is the
(20:23):
only tablet I take. If I have a headache, I'll
drink more water, I'll try not to take pan at
all or eurofin. So for me to even say I
think I need to be medicated is quite a large step.
So I did the whole process, and I got medicated
for a little while, and I just felt like it
really dulled my personality. And while so I'm not medicated
(20:45):
for it anymore. So I just I have things that
I do in my day. There's this thing called eat
the frog. I do the thing that I don't want
to do the most first, and then I actually use
colored post it notes and I stick them on my
desk with my task, and then as soon as I
finish that task, I rip it off and it feels
so good. But then it's like a physical reminder that
I actually have a lot of work to do, so
(21:06):
and slack off, you know, like I'm not going to
have lunch until I don't have like a lunch set
lunch time. I don't have lunch until I've finished this task.
So that's how I work, and everyone's different. But doing
the because it was it was like six weeks of
testing and then we've had to come in and the
psychologist had to ask him questions. And then I realized
(21:27):
I went to a psychologist, not a psychiatrist, so I
can actually get medication from the psychologist. I had to
do another which for someone with HD is really quite
triggering because give me another step I don't want to do.
But going through the questionnaire, I've realized that my son
Myles has lots and lots of traits and it has
(21:48):
really helped us in our parenting style because for now
he doesn't need to be medicated. He's just a rumptious
what's the word rumptuous, rambunctious with lots of energy, and
he just needs a little bit of redirection sometimes.
Speaker 7 (22:05):
Yeah, we've come across a few people lately, yes, who
recently got diagnosed with AHD.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
You'd find that very high functioning women are masking symptoms
very well.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
But's some guys, like even with one of our other
guests who we spoke to a couple of weeks ago.
Only in the last month, ye two months now, but
like even he just got diagnosed with ADHD as well.
I think it's more common, like you said, especially amongst women.
But it's almost like, and I don't know whether it's
the awareness of ADHD and that people are talking about
(22:36):
it more, but it's almost like you're hearing of every
second person having ADHD, and it's like, you know, I
have We've been like this most of our lives and
have just thought it's just I'm busy, or I've got
too much on my plate, or I'm you know, juggling
too many balls, going through metapause. I mean, my brain
fog for me was just nuts for a while there.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
But I often wonder because it's it's a condition in
your brain, right, like your brain isn't wired, yes, you
know normal in quotation masks. But I often wonder because
I did have some traits as a kid, and they
just I masked them well obviously, But I wonder if
if our society makes it worse, like if our brain
(23:19):
actually gets worse, like if the wires get worse. I
don't I'm not looked into it, so I don't know
if I'm talking out of my bum but society, it's
really hard to be a person in society. There's so
much pressure on all of us men, men, children like
our list of stuff for the boys, Like they go
to a great school, they come home, they've got homework,
(23:39):
they've got sports, and then on the weekend they've got
more sports. They've got you know, there's no time to.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Rest, there's no downtime to.
Speaker 4 (23:48):
Do nothing, to be bored and to you know, and
we're so wired and we're always on our phone and
we're always scrolling, and our eyes are always doing something.
Even Miles wears glasses. And the amount of kids that
I've seen that wear glasses, yes, has skyrocketed. Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And we are really strict with our screen time, Like
they have maybe two hours a week.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Right now, they've got about four hours.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
I know.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
This is the great thing about limiting screen time because
if you limit it when you actually need it, Yes,
they will be observed.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah right, they won't bother you and they'll just go
off and do that.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
For all I did. So I've got three boys.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
We didn't have a TV or computers or me and
my husband just had basic phones. So the kids that
never have phones for nineteen years, that's the best. And
my sister this morning, she said, how did you look
after three kids without a TV and a phone? And
I just said I was dedicated to it like that
(24:51):
was that was my job, that was what I valued
the most, and that's how I was going to bring
them up. And thankfully their dad was on board as well,
so we can do it together. Because I said it
would be so tricky if you know once, like doesn't matter,
put it on or whatever. But I felt it so
strongly that I wanted them to know who they were
without all this influence. And I wanted them to know
(25:12):
that they were part of nature and not these wired
kind of beings that you know that we're seeing now.
You know, they're all connected to their phones and everything
like that, and you think, I just think to myself,
is anyone having any I know there's probably not original thought,
but you know, they're just bombarded with thought daily.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Do they get to sit silently and know who they are?
Do you have a TV?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Now?
Speaker 7 (25:37):
I do, but only because I live with my sister,
I live with the whole family.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
I don't watch it myself.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Did you all of a sudden go, oh my god,
TV and set in.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
Front of it.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
Annoys the shit out of stimulated.
Speaker 7 (25:54):
Like I like watching a movie every now and then,
but even then, honestly, I'll go and sit in my room.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
And read Mid State or whatever.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Yeah, not to go and party on the weekends, Oh
my god.
Speaker 7 (26:05):
I love that, that downtime and not having just that
constant stimulation.
Speaker 4 (26:12):
We're a movie family, so we It's really funny because
sometimes I chuck on a movie for the kids on
the weekend if I've got a little bit of work
to do on my laptop, and they'll both say, you're
not watching it, You're not watching it with us, Like
they need that engagement with the activity that they're doing.
And I love that because that's why we bought a farm,
so we can, you know, get to know our children
(26:32):
and figure out what their personalities are like and without
anything in between.
Speaker 5 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
Yeah, boys are hard, though they're so full of energy.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Yeah, feels aren't much easier.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
I think kids are. Kids are just kids are full
of energy, and we're drained of it because we have
so many commitments. It feels.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
Reading something I've recently gotten back into and I used
to read a lot of self help books, but now
I read lots of fiction, like thriller romance books, and
it is my downtime. Like if it's my reward at
the end of the day to read a really good book,
and both of the boys are obsessed with reading, I'll
(27:16):
just read next to me. And it's just such a
You just realize that children soak in their environments so heavi,
so heavily.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
It's like that's their activity with you, that you're all
sitting together reading a book.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
I love it.
Speaker 7 (27:30):
We used toll all lay in bed together and read.
I remember took this really cool photo and there was
five of us in the bed reading and one of
my friends.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
Is like, how exactly right.
Speaker 7 (27:40):
I don't just because they don't really know any other way,
you know, and if they see you doing it, they'll
follow and think this is normal.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Now it would be five people like on iPads or
phones next to each other.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Exactly exactly right.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
If you don't get that that feel good chemical from
actually like immersing yourself in a book, it silences the
noise in your brain.
Speaker 7 (28:03):
I love it, And look, you know, I want to
say to my kids are certainly obsessed with technology now,
you know, and that also happened with COVID because they
had to do this schooling from home and everything like that.
But I just feel so happy that they had that
time of getting to know themselves without all of that
(28:24):
stuff just coming at them.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
So yeah, do.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
You know one thing that we ask all our guests
when they come on to our podcast is is there
a celebrity death that has affected you?
Speaker 4 (28:36):
This is really interesting because obviously my broin was created
around a tragic loss, and I personally have never felt
affected by death until my dad passed away. If there
was a celebrity I've been thinking on this because I
said to Nathan, I don't have no no the Queen.
(28:58):
I am such a Lizzy stan I know so much
about her life. She was such an interesting woman, mother,
like the highest figure you could get in society, in
the government, and she had she had four or five kids,
and I know so much about her. How I don't
know how many kids she has because she had their
(29:21):
three boys. Yes, there we go. Yeah, her death actually
felt really somber, like I felt the energy. I think
that the whole world felt that energy. So that's probably
the only celebrity death that in the class. That is
a celebrity.
Speaker 3 (29:38):
Yeah, famous person for sure.
Speaker 7 (29:41):
No one.
Speaker 5 (29:41):
No one said that one before. I haven't thought about
that one.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Now you have given us a gorgeous gift. Serese Candle.
We've got something for you. I don't know that it
would actually be in this league, but so it comes
in a similar box, except ours is brown, not colorful.
The we need some help with designing boxes.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
We need to do a marketing workshop. Yes, I'll do
your brand branding workshop.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Yes, that would be awesome. Stop it.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
And it's a mug and it's a limited edition because
that was the old crew and the design is from
Liam my Son your joke, Liam Drew. Liam Drew that
he's the best. He's done mine as well. So the
new mugs are on their way. We haven't got them yet.
(30:34):
So you've got limited edition.
Speaker 4 (30:35):
Because I'm going to have to come back on the
next month.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
Everyone said that I need a full of months. Now
everybody has said that I've got to come back so
I can get the new mug when you've got a
ready yes CUEK thank you so much for coming, and
my man, I'm not been hastling your for ages to
be a guest on our podcast because I know you've
got just such an amazing story. But no, this has
been absolute pleasure and have thorough enjoyed having a proper
(31:01):
chat to you, because whenever we catch up, it's literally
me just running in picking up stock and everyone's busy
running around.
Speaker 5 (31:07):
I go, yep, okay, talk later.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Bye, and we ends up talking for like forty five minutes.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Well we did the last time. I know, I was like,
oh my god, I love conscious of you. How much
work you had to do and I just held you
up about an hour.
Speaker 4 (31:17):
I think I always have work to do, so I
like to enjoy the conversation for Yeah, it's nice, it
feels refreshing for the soul.
Speaker 7 (31:24):
Yes so, but thank you very much, thank you, and
thank you just for being so open and honest and
sharing your story with us as well.
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Really appreciate it. I hope that your listener's got something
out of it.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
I'm sure, yeah, more than sure.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
There's always lighted there the channel you've been listening to
Life as we Know It Unfiltered with Tony Tanalia and
Lisa Cameron. If you liked this episode, please leave us
a review or drop a comment on our socials.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
We Love hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You can also come hang out with us on Instagram
at Life as we Know It dot podcast and on
Facebook at Life as we Know It. Oh and please
see that fall hello button on your favorite podcast app.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
If you're not following us yet, catch up
Speaker 2 (32:04):
With you in our next episode.
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