August 1, 2025 • 40 mins
In this episode of Life Exchanged: Stories of Understanding, host Kelsey Ross speaks with Abby, a high school exchange student who studied abroad in Germany through the prestigious CBYX Scholarship Program.
Abby shares her inspiring study abroad experience, from living with a German host family and adjusting to cultural differences, to falling in love with German bread and embracing local traditions. She reflects on the contrasts between German and American school systems, the friendships she built, and the personal growth she experienced through this youth exchange program.
Abby also discusses how her journey in international education shaped her future aspirations in hospitality management and teaching English abroad.
🎙️ Whether you're a student considering studying abroad, curious about the CBYX for High School Students program, or interested in the power of cultural exchange, this episode offers insight, inspiration, and a taste of life in Germany.
Keywords: CBYX scholarship, study abroad Germany, high school exchange student, youth exchange program, German host family, intercultural communication, international education, global citizenship, hospitality career path, teaching English abroad
Follow Abby on Instagram:
@abby_worgess
@abby_auf_deutsch
For more info on YFU USA: https://yfuusa.org/
Chapters:
00:00 – Missing Milestones: Skipping Graduation for Exchange
00:42 – Meet Abby: From Indiana to Germany
02:08 – Winning the CBYX Scholarship & Choosing Germany
04:14 – Senior Year Abroad: Trade-offs & Mindset Shifts
06:07 – Learning German & Language Camp Experience
08:22 – Telling Her Parents: The PowerPoint Pitch
10:56 – Meeting the Host Family & Building Early Connections
13:10 – Culture Shock & Adjusting to Life in Germany
14:35 – Host Family Life: Festivals, Energy & Onion Dolls
16:51 – School Differences: Subjects, Class Size & Friendships
21:11 – Embracing German Traditions & Holidays
24:12 – Sharing American Culture: Hosting Thanksgiving
26:12 – Host Siblings & Learning to Be a Big Sister
27:31 – Coping with Loss Abroad & Emotional Resilience
29:29 – Travel Adventures Across Germany & Austria
31:32 – End-of-Year Traditions & Saying Goodbye
34:03 – Advice for Future Exchange Students & Host Families
35:10 – Future Plans: Hospitality, Linguistics & Teaching Abroad
36:14 – Changing Perspectives on the U.S. & Germany
37:18 – Haircut Mishaps & Mid-Year Memories
38:57 – Favorite Foods & Sweet German Treats
39:37 – Where to Follow Abby’s Journey
Host & Producer: Kelsey Ross
Editor & Producer: Mel Dyjak
Director: Megan Michels
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You were still able to have thatlike graduation experience in
prom and things like that or didyou have to skip that I.
Had to skip that. So really.
Yeah. So like, even like today, like,
my school back in the US is having their, like, commencement
ceremony. Yeah.
So all of my friends are actually graduating today, which
is a weird feeling, seeing everybody, like, walk the stage
(00:23):
that I should have been walking with them.
But right, I'm here, so that's better.
I might be a little homesick because all my friends are doing
this, but ultimately I'm having the best time of my life here.
Hello and welcome to this episode of Life Exchange,
(00:46):
Stories of Understanding. I'm your host, Kelsey Ross, and
today we've got a great guest with us.
Why don't you tell us about yourself and introduce yourself?
Hey everybody, I'm Abby. I'm 18 years old and I'm
originally from the Indianapolisarea in Indiana and I live in
Germany as an exchange student and the touring in Bundesland.
Welcome a fellow Midwestern. So take me through how you First
(01:10):
What made you decide that you wanted to be an exchange student
in High? School, yeah.
So my school in the US hosts a lot of exchange students, and
when I was a freshman and when Iwas a sophomore, I had a lot of
them in my classes and I really enjoyed getting to hear them
talk about why they came to the US.
And it just kind of inspired me to pursue an exchange journey as
(01:33):
a high schooler. So yeah, that's that's really
cool. It's we have some high schools
in the country that definitely do not accept exchange students,
but the ones that do, it seems like really impactful for not
just the host family, but for the entire school community as
well. So it's great that your school
is so accepting of these students.
And if I recall correctly, you are a part of a very prestigious
(01:54):
scholarship program. Yes, so I'm a congressman to
said youth exchange student, which is a joint partnership
between the US and Germany. So yeah, it's like they send
over students from Germany to the US and we get sent over to
Germany. It's kind of a little
partnership. That's so cool.
So how did you first find out about this?
Scholarship, I think I when I wanted to get into exchanging, I
(02:17):
didn't really know where to start.
So I think I just googled exchange students for high
schoolers and then a government website popped up and it had
SIBO, YIX, Flex, yes, and silly and all of those.
And I was like, Germany sounds cool.
And so then I applied for it. That's awesome, did you know any
German before you applied for this?
No, I didn't. No I didn't.
(02:37):
I took French in high school so Germany was a little jump up for
me. Yeah, Hey, I'm surprised you
didn't go with France then with the with the added language
experience, what made you chooseGermany over any other country?
I really. Liked the political involvement.
So I really liked that we got togo visit the Bundestag and we
liked got to have that more political and diplomatic
(02:59):
approach to the program. And then there's just so much
that Germany can offer. There's a lot of different
diverse aspects, a lot of history.
There's a lot of culture here that I really just wanted to
experience. Absolutely.
Makes sense. That's great.
So what was the application process like for the CBYX
scholarship? It was pretty similar to like
applying for a college. You know, you have like, your
(03:20):
personal information and then you have like, essays and you
have to get like, letters of recommendation from a bunch of
different people. So it was pretty similar to like
applying for college or something like that.
Gotcha. Pretty straightforward then.
That's great. So you had mentioned you're 18,
so I assume you are a senior in high school or you were just or
you were just finishing up your senior year, correct?
(03:41):
Just finishing up my senior year, Yes.
OK. So then so were you still with
you finishing up, you were stillable to have that like
graduation experience in prom and things like that or did you
have to skip that I. Had to skip that.
So really. Yeah.
So like, even like today, like my school back in the US is
having their commencement ceremony.
(04:03):
Yeah. So all of my friends are
actually graduating today, whichis a weird feeling seeing
everybody like walk the stage that I should have been walking
with them. But right, I'm here, so that's
better. That's fair.
Why wait until the senior year and not not get to experience
these traditions with your high school classmates?
So I. I found the scholarship program
(04:25):
like end of freshman year, and then I was like, oh, I'll apply
sophomore year for my junior year.
But then I got halfway through the application and thought to
myself that I didn't feel ready necessarily to go live away as a
junior. And, you know, your junior year
is so important academically because that's when you truly
start to set yourself up for college, that I felt like I
(04:45):
needed to be there for my junioryear instead of my senior year.
That makes sense. And then going into my senior
year, I was like, OK, this is great.
And when I thought about it towards the beginning of the
year, all of this senior stuff didn't really, like, necessarily
matter to me. Like, it didn't necessarily
matter if I walked in the commencement ceremony or if I
went to prom again. So.
(05:06):
But now that it's here, it's kind of a little, still a little
bit of a bummer. Yeah.
That bittersweet feeling, I'd imagine, is pretty common among
our exchange students who go overseas, and that's
understandable. How do you find yourself getting
through those moments where you're feeling a little down
about that? Whenever I get a little sad,
normally I either go out and experience what I'm here to do
(05:29):
and kind of just remind myself why I'm here and that yes, I did
choose this for a reason. And that yes, I might be a
little homesick because all my friends are doing this.
But ultimately I'm having the best time of my life here.
So I just need to remember to begrateful that I'm here and
experiencing all these cool things.
That's great, Really great mindset that you've got.
(05:49):
It sounds like being on exchangereally changes your mindset in a
bit. Have you explained, have you had
any changes with how you approach life or challenges
since being on exchange? Yeah, I've I've learned to ask
for help a lot more, which is really weird.
Just like towards the beginning of the year, I didn't know much
German, so it was like a little harder for me to ask for help.
But even in the USI was a very like independent person.
(06:10):
Like, I can do everything by myself.
I don't need help from other people.
But being on exchange has kind of made me realize that I can't
do anything by myself or not anything, but I can't do
everything by myself. So it's like I have to take a
step back and let somebody else help me so that I can get my end
goal that I'm hoping for. That's great.
And going back to learning German, so how did you prepare,
(06:32):
How did you learn German before you came on program?
So with the CBOX program, we have a month long language camp
in August. So I, I kind of just leaned a
little heavy into that. Yeah.
So I, I did Duolingo before I left, obviously, and then I took
the A1 level class when I got tolanguage camp and that kind of
set me up for success. And then after language camp,
(06:55):
once I went to my host family, Istarted a more intense and
longer language class at the they called the Volt Funa here.
So it's like the adult Learning Center Gotcha.
Tell me about this language camp.
Is it? Is it just strictly doing
nothing but learning German? So they split our days into
half. So 1/2 of our day was language
(07:16):
camp. So 8:00 to noon was language
courses. And then in the second-half of
the day, our like, they're almost like camp counselors, but
we call them our teamers. Our teamers had instructional
time to talk about different culture shocks we might
experience or different ways to handle situations.
And we had sessions on like communication and privilege and
just kind of trying to outline how to make our exchange year
(07:39):
the best year that we could really in depth that's.
Great. Sounds like they really tried to
prepare you as best as they could for some of the things
that you might experience while you're on program.
So how did you feel when you found out you were you won the
scholarship? It was, it was really surreal.
Yeah. Yeah, it was like I was sitting
on the couch, like playing on myit was after school and my mom
(08:00):
came downstairs and she looked at me and she was like, have you
read your e-mail recently? And I was like, no, because I'm
a teenager and never look at my e-mail.
So she was like, well, look at your e-mail.
And I was like, OK, so I did. And the first e-mail on it was
it was like your CBYX acceptance.
And I was like, this is actuallyhappening.
So it was just really surreal that like, this was actually
going to be a thing that I was going to do.
(08:21):
I can't imagine you're feeling. How was your mom and your your
family when you had mentioned and decided that this is what
you wanted to do and you wanted to go on exchange?
Were they supportive? It took a while for them to be
supportive. So I applied for the program and
I didn't necessarily tell them what I was applying for.
I just said, hey, I'm A and theygot the e-mail after I had
submitted my application saying thank you for submitting your
(08:43):
application. And they were like, hey, what is
this? And I was like, oh, it's just
this thing I applied for. I didn't even know if I'm going
to get it. And they were like, oh, OK.
And then I got the e-mail that Iwas a semi finalist and they
were like, OK, we actually have to like get serious about this
decision now. So I made them a PowerPoint
presentation with all the pros and the cons and the benefits of
(09:07):
an exchange year and then like living in Germany.
And then I like presented it that to them like a business
pitch. And then I eventually got them
on board. OK, interesting way of doing
that. Yeah, the second time we've
heard now that somebody has doneso a presentation for their
parents to get them on board with this very professional
adult way of thinking about all of this.
And specifically as you mentioned a business pitch.
(09:29):
Are you, would you say you're business minded?
Is that something you consider for your future?
I'm. Kind of.
I'm going to school in the fall for hospitality management, so
kind of yeah. I like being professional.
I like giving presentations. I like being in front of a
crowd. I like being in charge, so yeah,
I figured. Totally.
Makes sense, yeah. And so did you find out that you
(09:51):
had your host family before you got to go to Germany?
I did, yes. I actually got them towards the
beginning of May. Awesome.
And at that point, we had been in a group chat with everybody
who was going to Germany. So we had this big Instagram
group and somebody was actually keeping track of like when you
were taken off of the YFU Deutschland website then.
(10:13):
So that means you might get yourhost family information soon.
So I got, I'd gotten Adm from a girl and she was like, hey, you
just got taken off the website. And I was like, oh, OK.
So I kept refreshing my e-mail like every day, multiple times a
day waiting for this e-mail. And then like, it was like
Friday at 6:00 PM. And it was like your host family
is here. And that was also really cool
(10:33):
because that means I could finally like put where I am
living within the big spectrum of Germany and actually start
making in country connections, which was really, really cool.
That's great. I assume you had a little bit of
contact with your host family before you came up program.
So what was it like getting to know them before going to live
(10:53):
with these essentially strangers?
For a whole year, yeah, it was definitely a lot of like, not
stalking, but like, I looked at my host mom's Instagram a lot to
like, kind of see what they liked and what they didn't like
and like, just to see kind of their vibe without having to
directly text and be like, hey, what's your vibe?
Yeah, but we did a lot of texting and I texted them about
like what I want to do when I'm here.
(11:15):
And so they kind of helped me find clubs and activities that I
could do while I was here, whichwas really helpful.
And then if they posted something on their Instagram
story or I did the same thing, that kind of piqued our
interest, we would interact withthat.
So just little things like that I love.
Getting to hear a bit more aboutthe dynamics with the host
families and the exchange students because it can be a bit
(11:35):
worrying for some of our students just like what to what
to expect and how do I, how do Imake a relationship with these
people. So getting to know them and
talking to them with some of your tips.
What are some other tips for students who may be going on
programs that you have to try tomake that connection with their
host family? Definitely like talk to them
regularly. Like definitely try to make an
effort to talk to them regularlybecause you won't know them
(11:56):
unless you talk to them. And when you're talking, don't
try to do like definitely try toget to know them, yes, but try
to have a little bit of a deeperlevel conversation.
Like what do you expect of me asan exchange student?
Like even having those conversations over text before
you get there so you can kind ofset yourself up and to be the
best exchange student you can for them is really, really
(12:18):
helpful. Makes sense.
It's it's great advice for them.Thank you for that.
So Tate, let's let's go back to the moment you're getting on
that plane. You land in Germany.
What is your first impression? I It was actually not that
surprising because I feel like Germany and the US, especially
in like in the Midwest where we live is pretty similar.
(12:38):
Yeah. So I really didn't get much of
like a culture shock. I got, I mean, I got culture
shock obviously, but I didn't like get when I looked around,
it didn't look different. OK.
Which was interesting because I,I definitely expected a bigger
like initial reaction rather than like a little reaction that
kind of like spiraled a little longer than I thought it would.
(13:01):
So yeah. That's good.
And talking about the culture shock, when you would find
yourself in these moments with culture shock, how did you
handle that? Never negatively.
I was, I always heard never handle culture shock negatively
because then that affects your view of the country and
everything. So I was really careful when I
had these moments of, oh, this is kind of weird to kind of
(13:23):
rewire weird to just mean different.
Oh, whenever I saw something that was out of the ordinary, I
was just like, oh, that's just different.
That's not weird and just kind of filed that into my Germany's
really cool section, so try not to be as harsh about it.
It's a very open minded approachthat you took with culture shock
because there's it's a lot getting thrown at you all at
(13:46):
once, especially not having the language experience, new
language, new people, new cultures, and it's all so brand
new. It can be very overwhelming.
It's it's great to you had that mindset to lean back on to keep
you grounded. So going back to your host
family, when you finally got to meet them in person, what was
that like? It was really like, I use the
(14:06):
word surreal a lot, but it was really surreal because, yeah, I
had, I've like seen pictures of them and I've talked to them
over text, but I've never met them in person.
So just seeing them in person kind of really solidified that
like, I'm here, this is real. I'm living with these people for
the next 10 months. And it was really cool to like,
meet them in person and to like,see their like in person
(14:26):
dynamics over there, like texting dynamics.
So because that's so different from person to person.
And it's really nice to get to, like, learn their quirks and
everything, yeah. What would you say is your
favorite thing about your family, your host family?
They're really energetic people and they're also really young.
So my host parents are both 40 and my parents back at home are
(14:47):
on the older side. So it's a really energetic
dynamic. They they like to go a lot of
places and they like to do a lotof things, which is a lot
different than my dynamic back at home.
So it's really fun to like do things with them because they're
so energetic and so involved in their community.
That's. Cool.
What sort of things do you get up to?
What do you do with them? We go to a lot of like
(15:08):
festivals. Like where I live, we have a lot
of like festivals. They're the weird festivals too.
Like we went to an onion festival a couple weeks ago.
Interesting. OK.
So is it like a lot of like Onion?
Dishes or like what? What?
They have like dolls. They have like dolls that like,
but they're onions that they like, dress.
They like, put wigs and like, they draw face.
(15:28):
It's weird. It's different.
Not weird. Yeah, but they like, dress them
up different. Not weird.
Yeah. And they've like faces.
It's weird. It's fun.
Oh. My gosh, that's that's so
interesting. I mean, we're, we're nearby
here. We have a potato festival, which
is not, I mean, we're not, they're not dressing up
potatoes, but dressing up onions.
I, I kind of love that. It's like all kinds.
(15:49):
It was. It's just like a certain type.
They were all kind. They were all different sizes.
Like they had some little ones and they had some big ones and
they kind of like snowmanned them.
So there was like a big one and then a middle one and then a
small. It was.
It was a lot of fun. I love that.
What are some of the other festivals that you got to enjoy?
There's a like Christmas markets, obviously, and then
they're involved in this Historical Society.
So there was this parade we wentto back in the fall where
(16:12):
everybody was dressed in like traditional, like Renaissance
periody type dresses. And that was really, really fun
and cool. And then they're also on this
committee that selects the RosenQueen, as it's called, so like
the Rose Queen. And she's this girl who goes
around to every single festival as this like person.
(16:33):
And just that's also a big festival that I'm unfortunately
not here for. But it's also really cool, I've
heard. That sounds really fun on the
yeah, I wouldn't say less fun side of things, but on the
Marley academic side, what were some differences that you
noticed from your school in Germany versus your school in
the United States? I take a lot more classes first
of all, so I have like the same amount of time in school
(16:56):
basically. So I'm there 8 to 2 and I take 6
classes a day, but I'm taking 15total subjects instead of the
user role like 7 that I'm used to because at my school they
learn things cumulatively. So every year they take physics
and every year they take chemistry.
So I have like biology and I have chemistry and I have ethics
(17:16):
and English and French and German and all of these classes
and it's, it's a lot. It sounds very intensive.
Sounds like a really comprehensive education for
sure. And how was it that getting
involved in getting incorporatedwith your classmates and getting
to know some of them? It was really kind of difficult
(17:36):
at first, especially because, like, my German wasn't the best.
And then there's a couple peoplein my class who didn't really
know English, so we couldn't really converse.
Yeah, But there were a couple people who were really nice and
who knew enough English that we could have a good conversation.
And then there's also a lot of immigrants in my class, because
I am in East Germany, technically.
(17:57):
So there's a lot of, there's a couple of Ukrainians and there's
a couple of people from like Georgia and Turkey in my class
who kind of experiencing the same things that I am and that
they're in a new place and they don't really know anybody and
they also don't know the language.
So I, we just kind of bonded over that too.
So it's nice to make friends with those people.
But yeah. Very diverse community in.
Very, very diverse. Schooling.
(18:17):
That's awesome. For somebody in your experience,
in your situation where they maynot have a full grasp of the
language and the country that they're in, what advice do you
have for an exchange student who's trying to make friends
with these with their classmates?
Definitely be persistent with like making friends.
I wasn't really getting invited places, so I like kind of had to
force myself into their circle and then they wouldn't
(18:40):
necessarily think of me when making plans.
So I kind of had to force myselfinto that.
And then I also made one friend and then just kind of enveloped
myself into her friend group andI was like, oh, this is cool.
This is chill. Great.
So. But yeah, be persistent.
That's good. We got to make sure we're
writing that down. What sort of things after school
are you doing with your friends and your friend groups that
(19:02):
you've made? Back in the USI danced a lot.
I was like a dancer for 15 years, so I really wanted to
continue doing that here. So I went to a couple studios in
my area and didn't really find anything I liked.
And then one of my friends in myclass was like, hey, I dance
here, come with me one week. So I go now with her every
Thursday and I take a hip hop class.
(19:24):
And then every Monday I take a ballet class with old ladies and
it's a lot of fun. Yeah.
And then we'll like, hang out with friends after school, we'll
go get coffee and like, do our homework together or we'll go to
other cities on the weekends, just stuff like that.
Perfect. And the area of Germany that
you're in, is it more like a city or is it more rural?
(19:45):
It's a city, it's a city in the middle of nowhere, but it's a
city like there's 120 people who120,000 people who live there
so. Wow.
OK, decent sized, yeah. So the school that you're in is,
are the class sizes, are they like smaller or is it quite a
big school that you're in then? My school is pretty small like
our class. Our school is pretty big because
(20:06):
we have 5th through 13th grade so it's all of the grades in the
same building, but my class onlyhas 15 or so people in it.
Wow, OK. Pretty.
You get to end up class. Yeah, it is.
Is that similar to your experience in the United States
then as well? Not really, normally my classes
had like 25 people in them or so, so it's a lot.
(20:26):
Smaller here, yeah. OK.
And I had heard in other countries, I'm not sure if it's
the same in Germany, that instead of you going to
different classes, your teachersgo to your classrooms and
they're the ones that change. Is that how it is in Germany
too? It is, but OK.
That's more for like younger classes.
Like the young classes don't move rooms at all, but we move
teachers and move rooms at the same time.
(20:47):
So it's like gotcha, simultaneously happening at the
same time. But my class itself, like the
people in my class are the same,so yeah.
Get to spend a lot of time with them to really get to know
these. Every day.
Yep. Awesome.
SO the less school side of things, you got to experience a
lot of different holidays and different traditions while
you're in Germany, I assume. So what sort of things like that
(21:09):
did you get to experience and try out?
Yeah, so my host family is really big about me embracing
German culture. So we went to Oktoberfest, OK.
We went to a lot of Christmas markets around here.
And then we went to a couple fashions, which is the Carnival.
Sorry, it's different words regionally.
So Carnival is really cool too. So really, all of the big German
(21:32):
festivals. Yeah, different words
regionally. Yeah.
So in eastern and southern Germany, they call it fashing
and then they only call it Carnival in like the Cologne
region and then like up there inthat area of Germany for some
reason. Interesting.
It's weird it yeah. Is that something?
(21:52):
Is that something that's common,like where the different regions
of Germany will have different words for the same thing?
Is that a common thing? Yeah.
It is. It's really.
Yeah. So like so like they have like
the Jelly filled doughnut and everywhere they call it a the
Berliner, but they call it a Krapfen and Bayern.
And then in Berlin they call it a fan Kuchen.
So which is pancake, but interesting.
(22:14):
OK, The German language never ceases to surprise me.
What's what's been the most surprising thing about the
German language and the and the German culture for you?
Definitely grammar because German and English are in the
same grammar family. So like, I think of a sentence
in German, but I just end up translating it word for word
from English. And then I say it out and I'm
(22:36):
like, oh, this is right. And then my German friends look
at me and they're like, what theheck did you just say?
Because that didn't make sense at all.
So that's weird. That's that's different.
And then also the different dialects of people speaking
because it's like when you get, it's kind of like the same with
accents kind of, but they have different like dialects.
Like when you go to Byron, they're speaking like Byronish,
(22:56):
which is like, deeper, and it's harder to understand.
So just regional quirks like that make this language so much
fun. Yeah.
It's interesting, it sounds likeit's like you, if you go to a
different town in Germany or a different city, you're going to
get an entirely different experience since where you're
at. It's so cool.
And what would you say surprisedyou the most about German
(23:17):
culture? The I.
Don't want to talk about drinking, but yeah, like the
drinking culture here because it's so it's so casual because
like, yeah, people will just go out and they'll have like a
drink on a patio with their friends and then they're like,
my host dad will get home from work and have a beer.
And that's just, it's like, and they start drinking from such a
young age. It's just so normalized and so
casual here, which is something totally different than in the
(23:39):
USI. Gotcha.
And I get the reticence not wanting to talk about drinking
and things like that while you're on program because of
course we have rules that we have to follow.
But it is definitely something to consider and something that
is very different that it probably could be a bit of a
culture shock for people coming over there.
So what about some of the holidays that you got to
(23:59):
experience? Were there any in Germany that
you would never have the chance to experience in the United
States? Yeah, there's a couple actually.
The first, probably Saint Nicholas is really fun.
So the 6th of December, German children put their shoes out and
then Saint Nicholas comes and put like chocolate and fun stuff
in their shoes and then like leaves.
(24:21):
Yeah, I just kind of, it's like a Christmas warm up.
It's really fun. That's cool.
So that's really fun. And then like, I can't remember,
it's like fillings something. So coming up on June 8th, I
think that's a big like Catholicholiday that we get off of
school for. And it's, I don't remember what
it is actually, but it's OK. It's a big deal, apparently.
(24:43):
Gotcha. Something to look forward to.
Yeah. What were some differences
between holidays that you've experienced in the America that.
You also got to. Experience in Germany.
Yeah, so I threw a Thanksgiving party for my host family as kind
of like a hey, that was, it was a lot of fun because I I gave
like the list of things that I was going to make to my host
(25:05):
family. And I was like, hey, this is
what we're going to have for Thanksgiving dinner.
And they were like, why so much?It's like, that's the fun of it.
That's that's why Thanksgiving is so much fun.
So I threw them a Thanksgiving party.
We had the Turkey, We had all ofthe stuffings and Mac and cheese
and cornbread and all this stuff.
So that was a lot of fun. And then on the scale of
difference, Christmas was a lot weirder here because they opened
(25:26):
presents on the 24th and like just with the whole Christmas
market thing, it's a lot more inyour face Christmas.
Gotcha. So this.
Yeah. Different do they?
Do they celebrate Halloween in Germany too?
It's less of a thing, but my host mom really, really loves
it. Like she goes all out and
decorates the houses and she like makes baskets for of like
(25:48):
candy for people who come and trick or treat and she throws
like this party for my host brother and my host sister's
friends and my friends came overthis year.
It was it was bigger than Halloween than I would have done
in the. US, you mentioned your host
brother and your host sister. Was this your first time having
siblings in your family? It was not my first time having
siblings, yeah, but it was my first time being the oldest
(26:09):
sibling. And then it was my first time
having a host like a having a sister.
Like in the USI only had brothers.
So that was kind of a fun thing to adjust to, especially because
she's in a time and place in herlife where she like, needs an
older person in her life to kindof kind of like be with her
because she's she's a preteen. So like, yeah, it's kind of nice
to kind of be that older sister that I would have wanted when I
(26:32):
was her age. That's great.
Get to be a mentor and an ambassador for the US.
It's an all in one go that's. That's really.
Cool. Yeah.
What would you say having these host siblings?
What does that taught you about being a sibling to your
brothers? Back home, yeah.
So it kind of showed me that because I, I mean, they're my
(26:53):
host deadline, so I can't, I mean, I can, but I can't
necessarily get as mad at them as I would my Hostess.
There's my actual brothers at home.
So I guess it kind of just showed me to be gracious a
little bit more when like littlethings happen because it's not
anybody's fault necessarily. So just kind of being gracious
and nicer in situations like that.
Yeah. And throughout talking to you,
(27:14):
you've mentioned your open mindedness.
You're trying to see the bright side in everyday situations that
come up all year on exchange. Were there any other challenges
or obstacles that you had to overcome while you were on
program? Yeah, so.
Back towards the beginning of January, my grandpa died.
So that was that was really hardbecause I couldn't be there to
(27:36):
see him. My like parents were going
through a lot with him passing and then just being on the other
side of the world from everything going on.
It was just a lot to deal with and it happened during like the
point of every exchange here where they say it's going to get
tough. So it just kind of made that
beginning of January season be even more sucky, but.
(28:00):
That is awful. I'm so sorry to hear that.
That time that you're talking about, what is that for people
who may not be familiar with it or maybe students who are
getting ready to go on program, right?
So whenever people talk about exchanges, they kind of talk
about they kind of give like a little mountain range, I guess
is what I would call it. And like when you start it,
(28:20):
you're up here and you keep going up because you're in a new
place and having a good time. But then eventually you drop
because nothing can be great forever.
And they said typically it's around that after Christmas time
because that's when people startgetting homesick because
holidays are different here. But then they said it does pick
back up once you start settling in with your friends and
(28:41):
actually setting settling into German or whatever culture
you're in, culture and stuff. So gotcha.
Yeah. How did your host family and the
friends that you made at school help you to get through these
tougher periods and losing your grandfather?
And my hosting was really gracious.
I was a little more closed off during that period of time.
But they understood that, like, this is a really rough time.
(29:04):
And they gave me a lot of grace.And they understood that like
it's OK if I like stay in my room and like if I don't go out
and hang out with my friends as much because I needed this time
for myself type of thing. That's great.
I'm so glad that you had them tosupport you through this really
rough part of your life and thatyou had people who cared so
much. But maybe, maybe we could shift
(29:25):
and get into some of the more fun stuff.
Yeah. In Germany, do they do like a
spring break or things like thatlike we do here in the United
States? They do, but they do it later.
OK. Because the semester break is in
February, so we get a week off in between the first semester
and the second semester, which means having another break in
March would be weird. So we have.
(29:47):
They call it Easter break. So it's like around Easter time.
So mine was the week before and after Easter.
Yeah. So I got two weeks off in April
as Easter break. Great.
Did. Did you get to travel during
this time or at any point duringyour time abroad that didn't get
to see more of Germany or even more of Europe?
So for Osterfarian, we went to Austria, OK near Innsbruck and
(30:10):
we went hiking and we saw like abunch of really cool things
because, you know, that's like the Alps.
And so we did a lot of hiking. We did a lot of walking and like
sacing there. And then back in October for
fall break, me, my host sister and my host parents went camping
for a week down near like Schloss Neuschwanstein.
So the big iconic German castle.And then and then we went to
(30:32):
like the Sioux Pizza, which is the highest mountain in Germany.
And then we went to Oktoberfest.So just that area down there was
a lot of fun to vacate vacation too.
I've done a lot of weekend tripsto go visit other friends I've
made here. So I've been to Nuremberg and
I've been up to Berlin and I've been up even N further north
than that. I've been up to Hamburg and I've
(30:52):
been to Dresden, so. Been all over the place.
Where's been your favorite placeto go so far?
That's a hard question. They all have their benefits.
My favorite German city I think is Nuremberg.
Yes, it's like 3 1/2 hours away from me and I've been there a
couple times. It's just the perfect size.
And there's a lot of history with it because it's an old
(31:13):
medieval town. But they have a lot of other
like aspects of it. And it's, it's just a cool town
to visit that's like it. And they have like the really
big Christmas market that's really famous that I got to go
to, and it was really cool. So you're, you're coming up to
the end of your exchange time, so are are you considered a
senior over there in Germany as well?
(31:36):
No, I'm not. I'm in the I'm a grade lower
than what I would be in the US, so I'm in the 11th class here.
Instead, one of the students that we had spoken to before had
talked about the senior prank day.
I can't remember the name, the German word for it, but she had
shown me some pictures of it. It was really cool.
Is that something that it happened in your school or is
(31:58):
going to happen in your school? Yeah, it did happen a couple
weeks ago. Yeah, I don't.
I also don't remember the name for it.
It's OK. But yeah.
And then like during breaks, they had like relay races
outside where like the Abby Tourkids raced the teachers and it
was, it was a lot of fun. It was definitely different than
(32:19):
what They're definitely different than the US.
So, yeah, yeah. It's so cool you got to
experience that, even though it's not for your senior year
experience, right? But that's still awesome.
So are there any end of year school traditions that you will
get to take part in? Coming up, I, I think so my
class has a class trip in a couple weeks.
(32:39):
We're going camping overnight. OK, so I'll do that like right
before I leave, but my school year ends on the 26th, but I
leave before my school is over. So there's a lot of stuff that
last week of school that I'm going to miss, which, yeah, is.
Whatever. But yeah, so with the end of the
year approaching too, I assume you're getting things ready and
(33:01):
making plans to prepare to go back home.
How are you planning? Are you planning on staying in
contact with your host family and the friends that you've made
there? Definitely.
For sure. Yeah.
Like my both of my host siblingswant to study in the US, so
it'll be just be a question of when and where and maybe I can
go meet up with them when they're in the US.
(33:23):
Yeah, definitely. Welcome back to Germany though.
That's great, and who knows, maybe your family can host one
of your host your host siblings.That's what I keep telling them.
You just got to tell my parents,Toast.
They have the space, they just don't have the time.
So fair enough. It's a big, it's a big
undertaking for some families. But from what I understand, it
can be incredibly rewarding. I haven't hosted yet myself, but
there are plans. But yeah, it can be incredibly
(33:44):
rewarding and incredibly cool, especially that that melding of
culture like you you had talked about with sharing Thanksgiving
with them and them taking you out and making you part of their
family traditions as. Well, yeah.
And that's. Awesome.
So what advice do you have for any student who may be
considering going on exchange? If you're thinking about it,
(34:04):
definitely do it. It's a lot of fun, I highly
recommend it. But then also don't go into it
with expectations. I went into my exchange here
with no expectations to and thenI was just blown away because I
didn't have any expectations. So definitely don't think about
it, just do it. Everything will fall into place,
so just do it. Perfect.
And what about for a family who may be considering hosting an
(34:25):
exchange student? Do you have any words of wisdom
or advice for them? Definitely also do it.
It's a lot of fun. And yeah, just teenagers are a
lot of fun to have, and especially if they're from a
different culture, you can, I don't know, hang out with them
and do all their cool things andjust be a cool family.
(34:46):
If you've ever thought about bringing the world into your
home. With YFU USA, Hey, that's us.
You can by hosting an exchange student.
You'll experience a new culture right in your own home.
It's an incredible opportunity to make lifelong connections and
help a young student discover the American way of life.
Visit yfuusa.org to learn more about how you can become a host
(35:07):
daily today. For.
You in the future, I know you said you're going to be going to
school to study hospitality management.
What other big plans do you havefor your future?
Well, I'm going to school on thefall, obviously I'll study
hospitality management like I said.
And I'm also going to be minoring in applied linguistics
with a concentration and tehsil.So that's teaching English to
(35:30):
speakers of other languages. Gotcha.
And after, after I finish college, I want to spend a
couple years abroad teaching English to people who need it.
So whether that be with the Peace Corps or whether that be
with a different organization just out there really getting
into it and teaching English to people who need it.
(35:51):
Big plans to achieve. That's amazing.
And yeah, how would you say frombeing an exchange that your
perception of the United States has changed?
I don't honestly think it has. I, I don't think it really has.
OK. I, I think at least I already
have a pretty critical view of the United States.
So kind of being able to step away from it and see kind of
(36:12):
just confirmed like what I was thinking.
So just yeah. OK.
And that's another reason why wefeel, especially here, that
exchange is so important becauseyou do get to have a different
perspective on the country you're in and the country you're
from, and you get to work to be an ambassador to make things
(36:33):
better. Yeah, that's great.
And how would you say your perception of Germany has
changed since living there for the?
School year, There's a lot more to it than what people from the
US would think. Yeah, a lot of people, when they
think Germany, they think Volkswagen, beer and World wars.
But there's a lot more to that. There's a lot of really cool
people who live here. There's a lot of really cool
(36:54):
things to see outside of the stereotypical German experience.
They have a lot of castles, theyhave a lot of mountains, and
they have a lot of hiking trails, and they have a lot of
history that extends beyond the reaches of stereotypical German
things. And then for my final question,
do you have a story or a memory that we didn't get to talk about
(37:16):
here that you would like to tellus about?
Yeah, so as part of like, all myfriends are going to kill me for
talking about this. It's fine.
OK, so as a part of our program we have I have 49 built in
friends who I got this live withfor a month and back in February
we had mid year seminar in Hamburg for a week.
(37:36):
But those same people and some of my best friends and I one
night were like, hey, we all need haircuts, let's just do it
ourselves. So.
OK, preparing myself. OK, they were OK.
So we were like, OK, let's do it.
So we did it and I was given thescissors for my friend and I was
(37:56):
like, OK, I'll do your hair quick.
It'll be good, I promise. And she had really like thick
curly hair. And I was like, I can't mess
this up. It's really hard to mess up
cutting curly hair. So I I started cutting and then
my other friend comes behind me and he was like, are you going
to fix that chunk right there? There's like, what chunk?
And they looked at it and it wasreally wonky, I realized.
(38:19):
So I had to cut it. I had to cut her hair so much
shorter than she wanted because it was really bad at it.
But at least I know, at least I know that I'm not going into the
cosmetology field. Yeah, you got that.
And then maybe some advice for some exchange students coming
in. You know, maybe you're kind of
cutting your hair perhaps, or you have a host, Jose, who can
(38:41):
help you find a really Gray hairstylist.
Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh.
Don't let your friends do it. Don't let your friends do it.
Oh my gosh. That, that is also funny.
And I, I lied. I actually have one more
question. So what has been your favorite
food that you've been able to try over in Germany?
Oh, good question. I, I, I'm a, I'm a dessert
(39:02):
girly, so I really, really like apple strudel.
That's really, really tasty. I also, it's not technically
German, but they have it here. Yeah, but it's Schnitzel, which
is like the chicken that's like deep fried and put lemon on it.
That's really good too. And then there's a lot of like
German candies I really like. So there's a lot of like Haribo
snacks and sour strips that are also really, really good.
(39:22):
Yum. All right, some things to add on
to the shopping list and things to try.
Abby, where can people find you if they want to keep up with
your your adventures in your future?
Right, so my Instagram is Abby Wargis, Abby under score Wargis
and then I also have a German spam.
It's Abby off Deutsch. So if you want to follow me
there too, go for it. Awesome.
(39:44):
Well, Abby, thank you so much for your time and for talking
with me today and sharing all ofyour wonderful stories.
I think people are going to enjoy them just as much as I did
and it's been great getting to know you and reminiscing on your
experience. Yeah, thank you for having me.
Been a pleasure. And until next time, this has
been Life Exchange stories of understanding.
(40:05):
I've been your host, Kelsey Ross.
We'll see you later. Bye.
Listen to Life Exchange Stories of Understanding now on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever you listen to your
favorite podcast.
You were still able to have thatlike graduation experience in
prom and things like that or didyou have to skip that I.
Had to skip that. So really.
Yeah. So like, even like today, like,
my school back in the US is having their, like, commencement
ceremony. Yeah.
So all of my friends are actually graduating today, which
is a weird feeling, seeing everybody, like, walk the stage
(00:23):
that I should have been walking with them.
But right, I'm here, so that's better.
I might be a little homesick because all my friends are doing
this, but ultimately I'm having the best time of my life here.
Hello and welcome to this episode of Life Exchange,
(00:46):
Stories of Understanding. I'm your host, Kelsey Ross, and
today we've got a great guest with us.
Why don't you tell us about yourself and introduce yourself?
Hey everybody, I'm Abby. I'm 18 years old and I'm
originally from the Indianapolisarea in Indiana and I live in
Germany as an exchange student and the touring in Bundesland.
Welcome a fellow Midwestern. So take me through how you First
(01:10):
What made you decide that you wanted to be an exchange student
in High? School, yeah.
So my school in the US hosts a lot of exchange students, and
when I was a freshman and when Iwas a sophomore, I had a lot of
them in my classes and I really enjoyed getting to hear them
talk about why they came to the US.
And it just kind of inspired me to pursue an exchange journey as
(01:33):
a high schooler. So yeah, that's that's really
cool. It's we have some high schools
in the country that definitely do not accept exchange students,
but the ones that do, it seems like really impactful for not
just the host family, but for the entire school community as
well. So it's great that your school
is so accepting of these students.
And if I recall correctly, you are a part of a very prestigious
(01:54):
scholarship program. Yes, so I'm a congressman to
said youth exchange student, which is a joint partnership
between the US and Germany. So yeah, it's like they send
over students from Germany to the US and we get sent over to
Germany. It's kind of a little
partnership. That's so cool.
So how did you first find out about this?
Scholarship, I think I when I wanted to get into exchanging, I
(02:17):
didn't really know where to start.
So I think I just googled exchange students for high
schoolers and then a government website popped up and it had
SIBO, YIX, Flex, yes, and silly and all of those.
And I was like, Germany sounds cool.
And so then I applied for it. That's awesome, did you know any
German before you applied for this?
No, I didn't. No I didn't.
(02:37):
I took French in high school so Germany was a little jump up for
me. Yeah, Hey, I'm surprised you
didn't go with France then with the with the added language
experience, what made you chooseGermany over any other country?
I really. Liked the political involvement.
So I really liked that we got togo visit the Bundestag and we
liked got to have that more political and diplomatic
(02:59):
approach to the program. And then there's just so much
that Germany can offer. There's a lot of different
diverse aspects, a lot of history.
There's a lot of culture here that I really just wanted to
experience. Absolutely.
Makes sense. That's great.
So what was the application process like for the CBYX
scholarship? It was pretty similar to like
applying for a college. You know, you have like, your
(03:20):
personal information and then you have like, essays and you
have to get like, letters of recommendation from a bunch of
different people. So it was pretty similar to like
applying for college or something like that.
Gotcha. Pretty straightforward then.
That's great. So you had mentioned you're 18,
so I assume you are a senior in high school or you were just or
you were just finishing up your senior year, correct?
(03:41):
Just finishing up my senior year, Yes.
OK. So then so were you still with
you finishing up, you were stillable to have that like
graduation experience in prom and things like that or did you
have to skip that I. Had to skip that.
So really. Yeah.
So like, even like today, like my school back in the US is
having their commencement ceremony.
(04:03):
Yeah. So all of my friends are
actually graduating today, whichis a weird feeling seeing
everybody like walk the stage that I should have been walking
with them. But right, I'm here, so that's
better. That's fair.
Why wait until the senior year and not not get to experience
these traditions with your high school classmates?
So I. I found the scholarship program
(04:25):
like end of freshman year, and then I was like, oh, I'll apply
sophomore year for my junior year.
But then I got halfway through the application and thought to
myself that I didn't feel ready necessarily to go live away as a
junior. And, you know, your junior year
is so important academically because that's when you truly
start to set yourself up for college, that I felt like I
(04:45):
needed to be there for my junioryear instead of my senior year.
That makes sense. And then going into my senior
year, I was like, OK, this is great.
And when I thought about it towards the beginning of the
year, all of this senior stuff didn't really, like, necessarily
matter to me. Like, it didn't necessarily
matter if I walked in the commencement ceremony or if I
went to prom again. So.
(05:06):
But now that it's here, it's kind of a little, still a little
bit of a bummer. Yeah.
That bittersweet feeling, I'd imagine, is pretty common among
our exchange students who go overseas, and that's
understandable. How do you find yourself getting
through those moments where you're feeling a little down
about that? Whenever I get a little sad,
normally I either go out and experience what I'm here to do
(05:29):
and kind of just remind myself why I'm here and that yes, I did
choose this for a reason. And that yes, I might be a
little homesick because all my friends are doing this.
But ultimately I'm having the best time of my life here.
So I just need to remember to begrateful that I'm here and
experiencing all these cool things.
That's great, Really great mindset that you've got.
(05:49):
It sounds like being on exchangereally changes your mindset in a
bit. Have you explained, have you had
any changes with how you approach life or challenges
since being on exchange? Yeah, I've I've learned to ask
for help a lot more, which is really weird.
Just like towards the beginning of the year, I didn't know much
German, so it was like a little harder for me to ask for help.
But even in the USI was a very like independent person.
(06:10):
Like, I can do everything by myself.
I don't need help from other people.
But being on exchange has kind of made me realize that I can't
do anything by myself or not anything, but I can't do
everything by myself. So it's like I have to take a
step back and let somebody else help me so that I can get my end
goal that I'm hoping for. That's great.
And going back to learning German, so how did you prepare,
(06:32):
How did you learn German before you came on program?
So with the CBOX program, we have a month long language camp
in August. So I, I kind of just leaned a
little heavy into that. Yeah.
So I, I did Duolingo before I left, obviously, and then I took
the A1 level class when I got tolanguage camp and that kind of
set me up for success. And then after language camp,
(06:55):
once I went to my host family, Istarted a more intense and
longer language class at the they called the Volt Funa here.
So it's like the adult Learning Center Gotcha.
Tell me about this language camp.
Is it? Is it just strictly doing
nothing but learning German? So they split our days into
half. So 1/2 of our day was language
(07:16):
camp. So 8:00 to noon was language
courses. And then in the second-half of
the day, our like, they're almost like camp counselors, but
we call them our teamers. Our teamers had instructional
time to talk about different culture shocks we might
experience or different ways to handle situations.
And we had sessions on like communication and privilege and
just kind of trying to outline how to make our exchange year
(07:39):
the best year that we could really in depth that's.
Great. Sounds like they really tried to
prepare you as best as they could for some of the things
that you might experience while you're on program.
So how did you feel when you found out you were you won the
scholarship? It was, it was really surreal.
Yeah. Yeah, it was like I was sitting
on the couch, like playing on myit was after school and my mom
(08:00):
came downstairs and she looked at me and she was like, have you
read your e-mail recently? And I was like, no, because I'm
a teenager and never look at my e-mail.
So she was like, well, look at your e-mail.
And I was like, OK, so I did. And the first e-mail on it was
it was like your CBYX acceptance.
And I was like, this is actuallyhappening.
So it was just really surreal that like, this was actually
going to be a thing that I was going to do.
(08:21):
I can't imagine you're feeling. How was your mom and your your
family when you had mentioned and decided that this is what
you wanted to do and you wanted to go on exchange?
Were they supportive? It took a while for them to be
supportive. So I applied for the program and
I didn't necessarily tell them what I was applying for.
I just said, hey, I'm A and theygot the e-mail after I had
submitted my application saying thank you for submitting your
(08:43):
application. And they were like, hey, what is
this? And I was like, oh, it's just
this thing I applied for. I didn't even know if I'm going
to get it. And they were like, oh, OK.
And then I got the e-mail that Iwas a semi finalist and they
were like, OK, we actually have to like get serious about this
decision now. So I made them a PowerPoint
presentation with all the pros and the cons and the benefits of
(09:07):
an exchange year and then like living in Germany.
And then I like presented it that to them like a business
pitch. And then I eventually got them
on board. OK, interesting way of doing
that. Yeah, the second time we've
heard now that somebody has doneso a presentation for their
parents to get them on board with this very professional
adult way of thinking about all of this.
And specifically as you mentioned a business pitch.
(09:29):
Are you, would you say you're business minded?
Is that something you consider for your future?
I'm. Kind of.
I'm going to school in the fall for hospitality management, so
kind of yeah. I like being professional.
I like giving presentations. I like being in front of a
crowd. I like being in charge, so yeah,
I figured. Totally.
Makes sense, yeah. And so did you find out that you
(09:51):
had your host family before you got to go to Germany?
I did, yes. I actually got them towards the
beginning of May. Awesome.
And at that point, we had been in a group chat with everybody
who was going to Germany. So we had this big Instagram
group and somebody was actually keeping track of like when you
were taken off of the YFU Deutschland website then.
(10:13):
So that means you might get yourhost family information soon.
So I got, I'd gotten Adm from a girl and she was like, hey, you
just got taken off the website. And I was like, oh, OK.
So I kept refreshing my e-mail like every day, multiple times a
day waiting for this e-mail. And then like, it was like
Friday at 6:00 PM. And it was like your host family
is here. And that was also really cool
(10:33):
because that means I could finally like put where I am
living within the big spectrum of Germany and actually start
making in country connections, which was really, really cool.
That's great. I assume you had a little bit of
contact with your host family before you came up program.
So what was it like getting to know them before going to live
(10:53):
with these essentially strangers?
For a whole year, yeah, it was definitely a lot of like, not
stalking, but like, I looked at my host mom's Instagram a lot to
like, kind of see what they liked and what they didn't like
and like, just to see kind of their vibe without having to
directly text and be like, hey, what's your vibe?
Yeah, but we did a lot of texting and I texted them about
like what I want to do when I'm here.
(11:15):
And so they kind of helped me find clubs and activities that I
could do while I was here, whichwas really helpful.
And then if they posted something on their Instagram
story or I did the same thing, that kind of piqued our
interest, we would interact withthat.
So just little things like that I love.
Getting to hear a bit more aboutthe dynamics with the host
families and the exchange students because it can be a bit
(11:35):
worrying for some of our students just like what to what
to expect and how do I, how do Imake a relationship with these
people. So getting to know them and
talking to them with some of your tips.
What are some other tips for students who may be going on
programs that you have to try tomake that connection with their
host family? Definitely like talk to them
regularly. Like definitely try to make an
effort to talk to them regularlybecause you won't know them
(11:56):
unless you talk to them. And when you're talking, don't
try to do like definitely try toget to know them, yes, but try
to have a little bit of a deeperlevel conversation.
Like what do you expect of me asan exchange student?
Like even having those conversations over text before
you get there so you can kind ofset yourself up and to be the
best exchange student you can for them is really, really
(12:18):
helpful. Makes sense.
It's it's great advice for them.Thank you for that.
So Tate, let's let's go back to the moment you're getting on
that plane. You land in Germany.
What is your first impression? I It was actually not that
surprising because I feel like Germany and the US, especially
in like in the Midwest where we live is pretty similar.
(12:38):
Yeah. So I really didn't get much of
like a culture shock. I got, I mean, I got culture
shock obviously, but I didn't like get when I looked around,
it didn't look different. OK.
Which was interesting because I,I definitely expected a bigger
like initial reaction rather than like a little reaction that
kind of like spiraled a little longer than I thought it would.
(13:01):
So yeah. That's good.
And talking about the culture shock, when you would find
yourself in these moments with culture shock, how did you
handle that? Never negatively.
I was, I always heard never handle culture shock negatively
because then that affects your view of the country and
everything. So I was really careful when I
had these moments of, oh, this is kind of weird to kind of
(13:23):
rewire weird to just mean different.
Oh, whenever I saw something that was out of the ordinary, I
was just like, oh, that's just different.
That's not weird and just kind of filed that into my Germany's
really cool section, so try not to be as harsh about it.
It's a very open minded approachthat you took with culture shock
because there's it's a lot getting thrown at you all at
(13:46):
once, especially not having the language experience, new
language, new people, new cultures, and it's all so brand
new. It can be very overwhelming.
It's it's great to you had that mindset to lean back on to keep
you grounded. So going back to your host
family, when you finally got to meet them in person, what was
that like? It was really like, I use the
(14:06):
word surreal a lot, but it was really surreal because, yeah, I
had, I've like seen pictures of them and I've talked to them
over text, but I've never met them in person.
So just seeing them in person kind of really solidified that
like, I'm here, this is real. I'm living with these people for
the next 10 months. And it was really cool to like,
meet them in person and to like,see their like in person
(14:26):
dynamics over there, like texting dynamics.
So because that's so different from person to person.
And it's really nice to get to, like, learn their quirks and
everything, yeah. What would you say is your
favorite thing about your family, your host family?
They're really energetic people and they're also really young.
So my host parents are both 40 and my parents back at home are
(14:47):
on the older side. So it's a really energetic
dynamic. They they like to go a lot of
places and they like to do a lotof things, which is a lot
different than my dynamic back at home.
So it's really fun to like do things with them because they're
so energetic and so involved in their community.
That's. Cool.
What sort of things do you get up to?
What do you do with them? We go to a lot of like
(15:08):
festivals. Like where I live, we have a lot
of like festivals. They're the weird festivals too.
Like we went to an onion festival a couple weeks ago.
Interesting. OK.
So is it like a lot of like Onion?
Dishes or like what? What?
They have like dolls. They have like dolls that like,
but they're onions that they like, dress.
They like, put wigs and like, they draw face.
(15:28):
It's weird. It's different.
Not weird. Yeah, but they like, dress them
up different. Not weird.
Yeah. And they've like faces.
It's weird. It's fun.
Oh. My gosh, that's that's so
interesting. I mean, we're, we're nearby
here. We have a potato festival, which
is not, I mean, we're not, they're not dressing up
potatoes, but dressing up onions.
I, I kind of love that. It's like all kinds.
(15:49):
It was. It's just like a certain type.
They were all kind. They were all different sizes.
Like they had some little ones and they had some big ones and
they kind of like snowmanned them.
So there was like a big one and then a middle one and then a
small. It was.
It was a lot of fun. I love that.
What are some of the other festivals that you got to enjoy?
There's a like Christmas markets, obviously, and then
they're involved in this Historical Society.
So there was this parade we wentto back in the fall where
(16:12):
everybody was dressed in like traditional, like Renaissance
periody type dresses. And that was really, really fun
and cool. And then they're also on this
committee that selects the RosenQueen, as it's called, so like
the Rose Queen. And she's this girl who goes
around to every single festival as this like person.
(16:33):
And just that's also a big festival that I'm unfortunately
not here for. But it's also really cool, I've
heard. That sounds really fun on the
yeah, I wouldn't say less fun side of things, but on the
Marley academic side, what were some differences that you
noticed from your school in Germany versus your school in
the United States? I take a lot more classes first
of all, so I have like the same amount of time in school
(16:56):
basically. So I'm there 8 to 2 and I take 6
classes a day, but I'm taking 15total subjects instead of the
user role like 7 that I'm used to because at my school they
learn things cumulatively. So every year they take physics
and every year they take chemistry.
So I have like biology and I have chemistry and I have ethics
(17:16):
and English and French and German and all of these classes
and it's, it's a lot. It sounds very intensive.
Sounds like a really comprehensive education for
sure. And how was it that getting
involved in getting incorporatedwith your classmates and getting
to know some of them? It was really kind of difficult
(17:36):
at first, especially because, like, my German wasn't the best.
And then there's a couple peoplein my class who didn't really
know English, so we couldn't really converse.
Yeah, But there were a couple people who were really nice and
who knew enough English that we could have a good conversation.
And then there's also a lot of immigrants in my class, because
I am in East Germany, technically.
(17:57):
So there's a lot of, there's a couple of Ukrainians and there's
a couple of people from like Georgia and Turkey in my class
who kind of experiencing the same things that I am and that
they're in a new place and they don't really know anybody and
they also don't know the language.
So I, we just kind of bonded over that too.
So it's nice to make friends with those people.
But yeah. Very diverse community in.
Very, very diverse. Schooling.
(18:17):
That's awesome. For somebody in your experience,
in your situation where they maynot have a full grasp of the
language and the country that they're in, what advice do you
have for an exchange student who's trying to make friends
with these with their classmates?
Definitely be persistent with like making friends.
I wasn't really getting invited places, so I like kind of had to
force myself into their circle and then they wouldn't
(18:40):
necessarily think of me when making plans.
So I kind of had to force myselfinto that.
And then I also made one friend and then just kind of enveloped
myself into her friend group andI was like, oh, this is cool.
This is chill. Great.
So. But yeah, be persistent.
That's good. We got to make sure we're
writing that down. What sort of things after school
are you doing with your friends and your friend groups that
(19:02):
you've made? Back in the USI danced a lot.
I was like a dancer for 15 years, so I really wanted to
continue doing that here. So I went to a couple studios in
my area and didn't really find anything I liked.
And then one of my friends in myclass was like, hey, I dance
here, come with me one week. So I go now with her every
Thursday and I take a hip hop class.
(19:24):
And then every Monday I take a ballet class with old ladies and
it's a lot of fun. Yeah.
And then we'll like, hang out with friends after school, we'll
go get coffee and like, do our homework together or we'll go to
other cities on the weekends, just stuff like that.
Perfect. And the area of Germany that
you're in, is it more like a city or is it more rural?
(19:45):
It's a city, it's a city in the middle of nowhere, but it's a
city like there's 120 people who120,000 people who live there
so. Wow.
OK, decent sized, yeah. So the school that you're in is,
are the class sizes, are they like smaller or is it quite a
big school that you're in then? My school is pretty small like
our class. Our school is pretty big because
(20:06):
we have 5th through 13th grade so it's all of the grades in the
same building, but my class onlyhas 15 or so people in it.
Wow, OK. Pretty.
You get to end up class. Yeah, it is.
Is that similar to your experience in the United States
then as well? Not really, normally my classes
had like 25 people in them or so, so it's a lot.
(20:26):
Smaller here, yeah. OK.
And I had heard in other countries, I'm not sure if it's
the same in Germany, that instead of you going to
different classes, your teachersgo to your classrooms and
they're the ones that change. Is that how it is in Germany
too? It is, but OK.
That's more for like younger classes.
Like the young classes don't move rooms at all, but we move
teachers and move rooms at the same time.
(20:47):
So it's like gotcha, simultaneously happening at the
same time. But my class itself, like the
people in my class are the same,so yeah.
Get to spend a lot of time with them to really get to know
these. Every day.
Yep. Awesome.
SO the less school side of things, you got to experience a
lot of different holidays and different traditions while
you're in Germany, I assume. So what sort of things like that
(21:09):
did you get to experience and try out?
Yeah, so my host family is really big about me embracing
German culture. So we went to Oktoberfest, OK.
We went to a lot of Christmas markets around here.
And then we went to a couple fashions, which is the Carnival.
Sorry, it's different words regionally.
So Carnival is really cool too. So really, all of the big German
(21:32):
festivals. Yeah, different words
regionally. Yeah.
So in eastern and southern Germany, they call it fashing
and then they only call it Carnival in like the Cologne
region and then like up there inthat area of Germany for some
reason. Interesting.
It's weird it yeah. Is that something?
(21:52):
Is that something that's common,like where the different regions
of Germany will have different words for the same thing?
Is that a common thing? Yeah.
It is. It's really.
Yeah. So like so like they have like
the Jelly filled doughnut and everywhere they call it a the
Berliner, but they call it a Krapfen and Bayern.
And then in Berlin they call it a fan Kuchen.
So which is pancake, but interesting.
(22:14):
OK, The German language never ceases to surprise me.
What's what's been the most surprising thing about the
German language and the and the German culture for you?
Definitely grammar because German and English are in the
same grammar family. So like, I think of a sentence
in German, but I just end up translating it word for word
from English. And then I say it out and I'm
(22:36):
like, oh, this is right. And then my German friends look
at me and they're like, what theheck did you just say?
Because that didn't make sense at all.
So that's weird. That's that's different.
And then also the different dialects of people speaking
because it's like when you get, it's kind of like the same with
accents kind of, but they have different like dialects.
Like when you go to Byron, they're speaking like Byronish,
(22:56):
which is like, deeper, and it's harder to understand.
So just regional quirks like that make this language so much
fun. Yeah.
It's interesting, it sounds likeit's like you, if you go to a
different town in Germany or a different city, you're going to
get an entirely different experience since where you're
at. It's so cool.
And what would you say surprisedyou the most about German
(23:17):
culture? The I.
Don't want to talk about drinking, but yeah, like the
drinking culture here because it's so it's so casual because
like, yeah, people will just go out and they'll have like a
drink on a patio with their friends and then they're like,
my host dad will get home from work and have a beer.
And that's just, it's like, and they start drinking from such a
young age. It's just so normalized and so
casual here, which is something totally different than in the
(23:39):
USI. Gotcha.
And I get the reticence not wanting to talk about drinking
and things like that while you're on program because of
course we have rules that we have to follow.
But it is definitely something to consider and something that
is very different that it probably could be a bit of a
culture shock for people coming over there.
So what about some of the holidays that you got to
(23:59):
experience? Were there any in Germany that
you would never have the chance to experience in the United
States? Yeah, there's a couple actually.
The first, probably Saint Nicholas is really fun.
So the 6th of December, German children put their shoes out and
then Saint Nicholas comes and put like chocolate and fun stuff
in their shoes and then like leaves.
(24:21):
Yeah, I just kind of, it's like a Christmas warm up.
It's really fun. That's cool.
So that's really fun. And then like, I can't remember,
it's like fillings something. So coming up on June 8th, I
think that's a big like Catholicholiday that we get off of
school for. And it's, I don't remember what
it is actually, but it's OK. It's a big deal, apparently.
(24:43):
Gotcha. Something to look forward to.
Yeah. What were some differences
between holidays that you've experienced in the America that.
You also got to. Experience in Germany.
Yeah, so I threw a Thanksgiving party for my host family as kind
of like a hey, that was, it was a lot of fun because I I gave
like the list of things that I was going to make to my host
(25:05):
family. And I was like, hey, this is
what we're going to have for Thanksgiving dinner.
And they were like, why so much?It's like, that's the fun of it.
That's that's why Thanksgiving is so much fun.
So I threw them a Thanksgiving party.
We had the Turkey, We had all ofthe stuffings and Mac and cheese
and cornbread and all this stuff.
So that was a lot of fun. And then on the scale of
difference, Christmas was a lot weirder here because they opened
(25:26):
presents on the 24th and like just with the whole Christmas
market thing, it's a lot more inyour face Christmas.
Gotcha. So this.
Yeah. Different do they?
Do they celebrate Halloween in Germany too?
It's less of a thing, but my host mom really, really loves
it. Like she goes all out and
decorates the houses and she like makes baskets for of like
(25:48):
candy for people who come and trick or treat and she throws
like this party for my host brother and my host sister's
friends and my friends came overthis year.
It was it was bigger than Halloween than I would have done
in the. US, you mentioned your host
brother and your host sister. Was this your first time having
siblings in your family? It was not my first time having
siblings, yeah, but it was my first time being the oldest
(26:09):
sibling. And then it was my first time
having a host like a having a sister.
Like in the USI only had brothers.
So that was kind of a fun thing to adjust to, especially because
she's in a time and place in herlife where she like, needs an
older person in her life to kindof kind of like be with her
because she's she's a preteen. So like, yeah, it's kind of nice
to kind of be that older sister that I would have wanted when I
(26:32):
was her age. That's great.
Get to be a mentor and an ambassador for the US.
It's an all in one go that's. That's really.
Cool. Yeah.
What would you say having these host siblings?
What does that taught you about being a sibling to your
brothers? Back home, yeah.
So it kind of showed me that because I, I mean, they're my
(26:53):
host deadline, so I can't, I mean, I can, but I can't
necessarily get as mad at them as I would my Hostess.
There's my actual brothers at home.
So I guess it kind of just showed me to be gracious a
little bit more when like littlethings happen because it's not
anybody's fault necessarily. So just kind of being gracious
and nicer in situations like that.
Yeah. And throughout talking to you,
(27:14):
you've mentioned your open mindedness.
You're trying to see the bright side in everyday situations that
come up all year on exchange. Were there any other challenges
or obstacles that you had to overcome while you were on
program? Yeah, so.
Back towards the beginning of January, my grandpa died.
So that was that was really hardbecause I couldn't be there to
(27:36):
see him. My like parents were going
through a lot with him passing and then just being on the other
side of the world from everything going on.
It was just a lot to deal with and it happened during like the
point of every exchange here where they say it's going to get
tough. So it just kind of made that
beginning of January season be even more sucky, but.
(28:00):
That is awful. I'm so sorry to hear that.
That time that you're talking about, what is that for people
who may not be familiar with it or maybe students who are
getting ready to go on program, right?
So whenever people talk about exchanges, they kind of talk
about they kind of give like a little mountain range, I guess
is what I would call it. And like when you start it,
(28:20):
you're up here and you keep going up because you're in a new
place and having a good time. But then eventually you drop
because nothing can be great forever.
And they said typically it's around that after Christmas time
because that's when people startgetting homesick because
holidays are different here. But then they said it does pick
back up once you start settling in with your friends and
(28:41):
actually setting settling into German or whatever culture
you're in, culture and stuff. So gotcha.
Yeah. How did your host family and the
friends that you made at school help you to get through these
tougher periods and losing your grandfather?
And my hosting was really gracious.
I was a little more closed off during that period of time.
But they understood that, like, this is a really rough time.
(29:04):
And they gave me a lot of grace.And they understood that like
it's OK if I like stay in my room and like if I don't go out
and hang out with my friends as much because I needed this time
for myself type of thing. That's great.
I'm so glad that you had them tosupport you through this really
rough part of your life and thatyou had people who cared so
much. But maybe, maybe we could shift
(29:25):
and get into some of the more fun stuff.
Yeah. In Germany, do they do like a
spring break or things like thatlike we do here in the United
States? They do, but they do it later.
OK. Because the semester break is in
February, so we get a week off in between the first semester
and the second semester, which means having another break in
March would be weird. So we have.
(29:47):
They call it Easter break. So it's like around Easter time.
So mine was the week before and after Easter.
Yeah. So I got two weeks off in April
as Easter break. Great.
Did. Did you get to travel during
this time or at any point duringyour time abroad that didn't get
to see more of Germany or even more of Europe?
So for Osterfarian, we went to Austria, OK near Innsbruck and
(30:10):
we went hiking and we saw like abunch of really cool things
because, you know, that's like the Alps.
And so we did a lot of hiking. We did a lot of walking and like
sacing there. And then back in October for
fall break, me, my host sister and my host parents went camping
for a week down near like Schloss Neuschwanstein.
So the big iconic German castle.And then and then we went to
(30:32):
like the Sioux Pizza, which is the highest mountain in Germany.
And then we went to Oktoberfest.So just that area down there was
a lot of fun to vacate vacation too.
I've done a lot of weekend tripsto go visit other friends I've
made here. So I've been to Nuremberg and
I've been up to Berlin and I've been up even N further north
than that. I've been up to Hamburg and I've
(30:52):
been to Dresden, so. Been all over the place.
Where's been your favorite placeto go so far?
That's a hard question. They all have their benefits.
My favorite German city I think is Nuremberg.
Yes, it's like 3 1/2 hours away from me and I've been there a
couple times. It's just the perfect size.
And there's a lot of history with it because it's an old
(31:13):
medieval town. But they have a lot of other
like aspects of it. And it's, it's just a cool town
to visit that's like it. And they have like the really
big Christmas market that's really famous that I got to go
to, and it was really cool. So you're, you're coming up to
the end of your exchange time, so are are you considered a
senior over there in Germany as well?
(31:36):
No, I'm not. I'm in the I'm a grade lower
than what I would be in the US, so I'm in the 11th class here.
Instead, one of the students that we had spoken to before had
talked about the senior prank day.
I can't remember the name, the German word for it, but she had
shown me some pictures of it. It was really cool.
Is that something that it happened in your school or is
(31:58):
going to happen in your school? Yeah, it did happen a couple
weeks ago. Yeah, I don't.
I also don't remember the name for it.
It's OK. But yeah.
And then like during breaks, they had like relay races
outside where like the Abby Tourkids raced the teachers and it
was, it was a lot of fun. It was definitely different than
(32:19):
what They're definitely different than the US.
So, yeah, yeah. It's so cool you got to
experience that, even though it's not for your senior year
experience, right? But that's still awesome.
So are there any end of year school traditions that you will
get to take part in? Coming up, I, I think so my
class has a class trip in a couple weeks.
(32:39):
We're going camping overnight. OK, so I'll do that like right
before I leave, but my school year ends on the 26th, but I
leave before my school is over. So there's a lot of stuff that
last week of school that I'm going to miss, which, yeah, is.
Whatever. But yeah, so with the end of the
year approaching too, I assume you're getting things ready and
(33:01):
making plans to prepare to go back home.
How are you planning? Are you planning on staying in
contact with your host family and the friends that you've made
there? Definitely.
For sure. Yeah.
Like my both of my host siblingswant to study in the US, so
it'll be just be a question of when and where and maybe I can
go meet up with them when they're in the US.
(33:23):
Yeah, definitely. Welcome back to Germany though.
That's great, and who knows, maybe your family can host one
of your host your host siblings.That's what I keep telling them.
You just got to tell my parents,Toast.
They have the space, they just don't have the time.
So fair enough. It's a big, it's a big
undertaking for some families. But from what I understand, it
can be incredibly rewarding. I haven't hosted yet myself, but
there are plans. But yeah, it can be incredibly
(33:44):
rewarding and incredibly cool, especially that that melding of
culture like you you had talked about with sharing Thanksgiving
with them and them taking you out and making you part of their
family traditions as. Well, yeah.
And that's. Awesome.
So what advice do you have for any student who may be
considering going on exchange? If you're thinking about it,
(34:04):
definitely do it. It's a lot of fun, I highly
recommend it. But then also don't go into it
with expectations. I went into my exchange here
with no expectations to and thenI was just blown away because I
didn't have any expectations. So definitely don't think about
it, just do it. Everything will fall into place,
so just do it. Perfect.
And what about for a family who may be considering hosting an
(34:25):
exchange student? Do you have any words of wisdom
or advice for them? Definitely also do it.
It's a lot of fun. And yeah, just teenagers are a
lot of fun to have, and especially if they're from a
different culture, you can, I don't know, hang out with them
and do all their cool things andjust be a cool family.
(34:46):
If you've ever thought about bringing the world into your
home. With YFU USA, Hey, that's us.
You can by hosting an exchange student.
You'll experience a new culture right in your own home.
It's an incredible opportunity to make lifelong connections and
help a young student discover the American way of life.
Visit yfuusa.org to learn more about how you can become a host
(35:07):
daily today. For.
You in the future, I know you said you're going to be going to
school to study hospitality management.
What other big plans do you havefor your future?
Well, I'm going to school on thefall, obviously I'll study
hospitality management like I said.
And I'm also going to be minoring in applied linguistics
with a concentration and tehsil.So that's teaching English to
(35:30):
speakers of other languages. Gotcha.
And after, after I finish college, I want to spend a
couple years abroad teaching English to people who need it.
So whether that be with the Peace Corps or whether that be
with a different organization just out there really getting
into it and teaching English to people who need it.
(35:51):
Big plans to achieve. That's amazing.
And yeah, how would you say frombeing an exchange that your
perception of the United States has changed?
I don't honestly think it has. I, I don't think it really has.
OK. I, I think at least I already
have a pretty critical view of the United States.
So kind of being able to step away from it and see kind of
(36:12):
just confirmed like what I was thinking.
So just yeah. OK.
And that's another reason why wefeel, especially here, that
exchange is so important becauseyou do get to have a different
perspective on the country you're in and the country you're
from, and you get to work to be an ambassador to make things
(36:33):
better. Yeah, that's great.
And how would you say your perception of Germany has
changed since living there for the?
School year, There's a lot more to it than what people from the
US would think. Yeah, a lot of people, when they
think Germany, they think Volkswagen, beer and World wars.
But there's a lot more to that. There's a lot of really cool
people who live here. There's a lot of really cool
(36:54):
things to see outside of the stereotypical German experience.
They have a lot of castles, theyhave a lot of mountains, and
they have a lot of hiking trails, and they have a lot of
history that extends beyond the reaches of stereotypical German
things. And then for my final question,
do you have a story or a memory that we didn't get to talk about
(37:16):
here that you would like to tellus about?
Yeah, so as part of like, all myfriends are going to kill me for
talking about this. It's fine.
OK, so as a part of our program we have I have 49 built in
friends who I got this live withfor a month and back in February
we had mid year seminar in Hamburg for a week.
(37:36):
But those same people and some of my best friends and I one
night were like, hey, we all need haircuts, let's just do it
ourselves. So.
OK, preparing myself. OK, they were OK.
So we were like, OK, let's do it.
So we did it and I was given thescissors for my friend and I was
(37:56):
like, OK, I'll do your hair quick.
It'll be good, I promise. And she had really like thick
curly hair. And I was like, I can't mess
this up. It's really hard to mess up
cutting curly hair. So I I started cutting and then
my other friend comes behind me and he was like, are you going
to fix that chunk right there? There's like, what chunk?
And they looked at it and it wasreally wonky, I realized.
(38:19):
So I had to cut it. I had to cut her hair so much
shorter than she wanted because it was really bad at it.
But at least I know, at least I know that I'm not going into the
cosmetology field. Yeah, you got that.
And then maybe some advice for some exchange students coming
in. You know, maybe you're kind of
cutting your hair perhaps, or you have a host, Jose, who can
(38:41):
help you find a really Gray hairstylist.
Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh.
Don't let your friends do it. Don't let your friends do it.
Oh my gosh. That, that is also funny.
And I, I lied. I actually have one more
question. So what has been your favorite
food that you've been able to try over in Germany?
Oh, good question. I, I, I'm a, I'm a dessert
(39:02):
girly, so I really, really like apple strudel.
That's really, really tasty. I also, it's not technically
German, but they have it here. Yeah, but it's Schnitzel, which
is like the chicken that's like deep fried and put lemon on it.
That's really good too. And then there's a lot of like
German candies I really like. So there's a lot of like Haribo
snacks and sour strips that are also really, really good.
(39:22):
Yum. All right, some things to add on
to the shopping list and things to try.
Abby, where can people find you if they want to keep up with
your your adventures in your future?
Right, so my Instagram is Abby Wargis, Abby under score Wargis
and then I also have a German spam.
It's Abby off Deutsch. So if you want to follow me
there too, go for it. Awesome.
(39:44):
Well, Abby, thank you so much for your time and for talking
with me today and sharing all ofyour wonderful stories.
I think people are going to enjoy them just as much as I did
and it's been great getting to know you and reminiscing on your
experience. Yeah, thank you for having me.
Been a pleasure. And until next time, this has
been Life Exchange stories of understanding.
(40:05):
I've been your host, Kelsey Ross.
We'll see you later. Bye.
Listen to Life Exchange Stories of Understanding now on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever you listen to your
favorite podcast.
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