June 20, 2025 • 45 mins
In this deeply personal and inspiring episode of Life Exchanged: Stories of Understanding, host Kelsey Ross speaks with Jyarland Daniels—a YFU (Youth For Understanding) study abroad alumna, former YFU USA board member, and founder of Harriet Speaks.
Jyarland reflects on her transformative experience as a high school exchange student in Japan during the 1990s, offering a rare and powerful perspective on the long-term impact of youth exchange programs. From her early life in foster care to her arrival in Sendai, Japan, she shares how resilience, curiosity, and cultural connection shaped her journey.
Through stories of overcoming language barriers, navigating identity as a Black American abroad, and building lasting bonds, Jyarland illustrates how intercultural learning fosters empathy, representation, and global peace. Her experience ultimately led to the founding of Harriet Speaks, an organization focused on dialogue, equity, and inclusion.
🎧 In this episode, you’ll hear:
- How studying abroad can transform lives and open doors
- The unique challenges and triumphs of being a Black exchange student
- Why cultural exchange is essential for global understanding and leadership
Perfect for future exchange students, host families, educators, and advocates for diversity in international education, this episode is a moving reminder of the lifelong impact of global learning and cultural exchange.
For more info on Harriet Speaks: https://harrietspeaks.com/
For more info on YFU USA: https://yfuusa.org/
Chapters:
00:00 – A Full Circle Moment
01:00 – Meet Jyarland Daniels
01:44 – Life Before Exchange
03:10 – Why Japan?
05:26 – Resilience Through Foster Care
07:37 – Language Barriers and Preparation
12:14 – Arrival in Sendai
13:33 – Bonding with Oji-san
16:06 – Reconnecting with Her Host Family
20:17 – Being Chosen: Race and Representation
24:03 – Harriet Speaks: The Origin Story
26:03 – Race, Bias, and Empathy in Japan
31:14 – Planting Seeds Through Harriet Speaks
33:16 – Exchange and Criminal Defense
36:08 – Advice for Future Exchange Students
38:21 – Exchange as a Path to Global Peace
40:32 – Representation in Exchange Programs
41:45 – Sushi, Soy Sauce, and Snack Stories
44:24 – Final Reflections and Farewell
Host & Producer: Kelsey Ross
Editor & Producer: Mel Dyjak
Director: Megan Michels
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So what I didn't tell you, what I didn't tell you is a full
circle moment happened. So literally 30 years to the day
that I became an exchange student, I became the first
African American on the YFU board.
Right. 30 years to the day. What a full that is.
(00:21):
A it was a full circle. It was a full circle.
Wow, this whole circle. So, so yeah, I, I just, I just
feel like I can't convey enough to people why they need these
experiences. Hello and welcome to this
(00:51):
episode of Life Exchange, Stories of Understanding.
I'm your host, Kelsey Ross, and today we have a very special
guest. Would you like to introduce
yourself and tell us about yourself?
Hi Kelsey, thank you so much forhaving me.
My name is Yarland Daniels. I am a former YFU exchange
(01:12):
student to Japan way back in theway back machine of the 1990s,
and I'm also a former board member for YFU, so I'm really
excited to talk about my experience.
And I am so excited to talk withyou about your experience and
all that you've accomplished from the time of your exchange.
(01:32):
And thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with us today.
My pleasure. To start, how about you tell us
a little bit about yourself and what life was like before
finding out about YFU exchange programs?
So I grew up in, I'm actually from Kansas, from a small town
(01:53):
called Junction City. And I one of the benefits of
growing up in this particular town is it's situated next to a
military base. And so I was always exposed to
people from different backgrounds, different cultures.
And so that was not new to me. I remember in elementary school,
(02:17):
a lot of some of my friends werefrom Cambodia and Vietnam.
And so diversity and different cultures was something that I, I
was very accustomed to. But my life story was a little
bit different. I did not grow up with my
biological parents. I actually from the age of 1 to
(02:38):
18, I was in the foster care system in Kansas.
And so I did not grow up with the idea that exchange was
something that I could do or wasopen to me.
I didn't even know what it was. But there was a young lady in
the town I lived in who was an exchange student, and she went
(03:02):
to Germany. And I thought that was really
interesting. And so that's really where the
seed was planted. Very interesting.
All right. And so I you didn't end up
choosing Germany, you ended up choosing Japan.
Why did you choose Japan to study?
Abroad. So you have to really, this is
(03:24):
also like a history lesson too, you know, in in the 1990s.
And I know that just saying thatit sounds so ancient and so long
ago, but in the 1990s, Japan Incwas a thing.
It was just, it was everything was related to Japan and Russia
(03:45):
with. And so I really, one of the
things about growing up in foster care for me, I grew up
with knowing that I had to really think about what my life
is going to look like. I didn't have family that I
(04:06):
could rely on. And so I, that probably made me
hyper attentive to planning my future.
And there were some not so good parts as well.
Most of the 10 foster homes thatI lived in over the course of
that that period were not good. And so I really had to think
(04:27):
about things in a way that most people 1514 year old years old
don't think about them. And so Japan really was
something that I was interested in because I knew that I wanted
to study business and college. And at the time I was also
really interested in politics and I still AM.
(04:48):
And so I thought I'm either going to go to Japan or Russia
because that's going to really complement my study in business.
And so I did not choose Russia because I talked to some people
and they had some stories that scared me.
And I think that that's still what happens today, right?
When you think about going on anexchange program, the first
(05:09):
thing that you do is you talk topeople.
And when you hear stories about certain countries and they don't
make you feel comfortable or warm inside, you say, OK, no,
I'm not going to do that. And so that's why I didn't
choose Russia. And I said I wanted to go to
Japan. And so, so that's where Japan
came from. Fascinating.
And I'm, I'm sure those with growing up within foster care
(05:32):
that gave you a sort of resilience that I would say even
most exchange students don't really have.
Would you agree? Oh my gosh, you know, Kelsey,
that's probably the best word. As an aside, that's actually the
word for the year that I've chosen for myself as a
resilience. But that's exactly what it was
and what I said to myself. So right before I started the
(05:55):
process of applying to study abroad programs, I was in a
particular foster home where I found myself thinking about
running away. And this is really honest and
I'm not it's, it's really vulnerable as well.
I thought, well, maybe I should just run away.
And then I thought about it somemore and I said, well, if I run
(06:18):
away and I get caught, I'm goingto go to a group home and say
that would be bad, So what else can I do to get out of this
situation? And I said, well, I know I can
go be an exchange student. I remembered this person had
been an exchange student. And I told myself what?
It can't be that much more difficult than living with a new
family. I had been accustomed to going
(06:40):
into different homes and adopt, adapting to their rules and what
their family dynamics were. And so I said, being an exchange
student can't be that, you know,much more difficult.
So I set out to use that resilience that you talked
about. And I think you're right.
I think that for me, it was really thinking about how do I
(07:05):
live with another family, which most exchange students maybe
haven't had the experience of doing, but how do I live with
another family in another culture with a different
language. And for me, it didn't seem that
hard and it seemed like a betteralternative than the other of
running away. And so I found myself applying
(07:30):
to programs to go to Japan for ayear.
But there was one catch, and that was the language, and we
can talk about that. That was actually going to lead
into my next question. Before I get into that, I, I
want to thank you for sharing these really tough parts of your
story and being so vulnerable. I, I, I know it can't be easy to
talk about and I, I appreciate your, your, your openness and
(07:55):
it's, it's very heartwarming. And I, I just really appreciate
that. No, you're more than welcome.
And you know, I think that vulnerability, regardless of
what it's about, it's important for all of us because, you know,
it's through that vulnerability that we help other people.
Because the truth is we don't know what of what anyone is
(08:16):
going through. And when we are vulnerable, we
really encourage other people todo the same.
And you never know who's going through a similar experience and
what they might be thinking. So you're welcome.
And I that's, that's really who I am.
It's wonderful. Who you are is wonderful.
(08:38):
Not knowing the Japanese language, did you do any sort of
preparation before you went to Japan?
How? How did that work out?
So at that time, very few schools offered Japanese as a
class at that time. Now it's really, really common,
and I'm super jealous. So I have to say a couple of
(09:01):
things #1 the, I think also being an exchange student helps
develop the vulnerability. So that's another reason why I
think exchange is so important. But language, So I in high
school, I had studied all the languages that my school
(09:21):
offered. I studied French, I studied
Spanish and I studied German andI sucked at all of them, at
every, at every single one. And that's probably why, Kelsey,
I didn't choose a country with one of those languages because I
was just like, yeah, no. And what happened is and, and I
(09:43):
think that, you know, when your school offers those languages,
you know, when you're applying for a program, they expect you
to do, like, really well or havesome fluency.
And so I was just like, OK, yeah, that's not going to work.
But what I learned about myself in the process is that I
actually learn best through immersion.
(10:05):
I learn through doing. I learn through hearing.
I learn through experience, and so I learned that about myself.
And then I also developed, I think, a really healthy critique
of how we teach foreign languagein this country, right?
I don't think it's ideal for anyone to learn a foreign
(10:27):
language by sitting in a classroom memorizing sentences,
studying vocabulary. You really need to be in that
culture. And that is how I learned
Japanese. So when I left, why, if you did
a great job, there was some preparation that why if you
provided some introductory prep,but I was actually under the
(10:54):
impression that my host family spoke English.
Oh no, it was great. So I've got to tell you this
story. So yes, please.
I did the prep work. We, you know, had packets that
were mailed to us. So you know, our my Gen.
(11:15):
Z friends are listening to this and they're like, what do you
mean they mailed packets to you?Why don't you just go online and
like study? Well, this is pre Internet, so
there was no just go online and study.
So you just go and imagine. A paper with stamps.
Yeah, and they right, they sent you these things in the mail.
Yeah, it was. It was hilarious.
(11:37):
It was. Yeah.
So there was so like, oh, just go to Khan Academy or just go
and like use a course or it wasn't like that.
So, but that's OK. So I did the prep work.
But I was also under the impression that my host family
spoke English only to realize, and we'll come back to this.
When I got there, I got off the train and I lived in Sendai, an
(12:03):
amazing, amazing city. I'm in northern Japan, north of
Tokyo, and my host family had this amazing sign that said
welcome Yarland, and it was in perfect English.
It was colored. I actually still have that sign
that they made for me. So I got off the train and I
(12:24):
started talking to them in English and they just kind of
looked at each other and they had no idea.
They had no idea what I was saying, and I turned around to
look at the train because I was just like, I've got to get back
on the train. And the train was gone.
And so I was just like, OK, well, this is what it is.
(12:47):
This is what we're going to do. And so that was the beginning of
my realization that my host family didn't speak English and
I didn't speak Japanese. But we quickly adapted and we
learned and we gave one another grace and understanding and we
(13:09):
found out that there are lots ofways to communicate.
It was like playing charades allthe time, so.
Yeah, Oh my goodness. Great memories, great memories.
I did a little bit of backgroundresearch and it sounded like you
were very close with the grandfather in your host family.
(13:31):
How did that connection develop?Oh my gosh.
So in Japan, typically multiple generations live in the same
home and so it's very common andexpected for grandparents to
live in the house with the parents and the children.
(13:53):
So you have 3 generations and one house.
I have a special love and appreciation for that system, by
the way. But OG son, OG son, Oh my gosh,
I, I am going to get through this podcast without crying.
I promise you and me both. OG Son was in World War 2 and he
(14:21):
had a lot of pain and a lot of memories associated with that.
And so again, while we didn't speak the same language, we used
pictures. We made an effort to try to
(14:43):
communicate with one another. I had dinner with them every
night. And that that is how that
relationship developed. I I'm going to spend probably
the rest of my life, Kelsey trying to articulate how you
(15:05):
become close to someone when there's not a shared language.
The only thing that I can, the only way that I can express it
now is that our hearts understand one another.
And that was my experience. He was a very jovial man.
(15:28):
He loved to laugh. And what I learned as a part of
that experience was laughter andjoy and smiles are universal.
And so even if you can't say something to someone, you can
(15:48):
communicate joy. And that's what we did, and
that's how we became so close. Love to see universal the
universal language. It really is.
Oh, that's so that's touching. Are you?
You still communicate with your host family to this day.
You know, to I have not in a lotof years.
(16:11):
So after I had my year in high school, I actually then went to
college and studied East Asian languages and cultures at the
University of Kansas. I must say that.
And I minored in Japanese, and Ithen went back to Japan for an
(16:34):
exchange in college, and I was able to visit with my host
family. Then even before college, I
actually skipped a stage. My host sister, I had two host
sisters, Sakiko and Odier. Sakiko came to the US for a
(16:56):
year. So it was truly in exchange.
She came to the US for the year.And you're not going to believe
this. She lived in Michigan.
She had a host family in Saginaw.
No way. Yes, way, yes, way, yes way and
(17:18):
so in and you know, for the for the viewers just to know, you
know why if you had was was founded in Michigan and, and has
an office in Saginaw. So I went to Japan, lived with
this family for a year. Sakiko, who was my oldest
(17:39):
sister, ended up coming to Michigan and living in Saginaw
for a year. While she was in Michigan, she
came to visit me in Kansas. And so she visited my high
school for a week. And so we, yes, it was, that is
probably the truest exchange experience that I've heard of.
(18:04):
But I have lost contact with them.
And to be really honest, one of the things that I'm really, I'm
reluctant to try to re establishcontact.
There was a devastating tsunami that impacted Sendai several
(18:29):
years ago and the pictures showed such complete
devastation. And that I have always been
afraid of what I might, what I might learn.
(18:50):
So that is something that I am Iam working through because I
will tell you this family was soimportant to me, so pivotal in
my life. If anything, they were probably
(19:11):
the, if not one of, if not the first true family that I
experienced. I turned 16 with them in Japan
and they gave me this amazing necklace that I still have
today. And so they they, they really
(19:32):
mean mean a lot to me. And so the idea of discovering
that that entire family may havebeen lost is probably a lot to.
Think about Yeah, I that fear isvalid, that unknown, but.
We have to face our fears. We have to face our fears.
(19:55):
But sometimes it's harder than sometimes it's hard and it takes
time. Yeah.
Right. I wish you the best of luck on
overcoming that fear and that obstacle.
And I hope and I have a feeling in my heart that is that
connection will be there. They will be there, and that
family connection could continueto grow.
Yeah, that would that would be fantastic.
(20:16):
That would be fantastic. You know, I have to say, one of
the things that made that familyso special is the fact that they
chose me. And, and I'll tell you what I
mean by that. You might not have noticed, but
I, I am black. It's OK.
It's OK. You can laugh.
But at that time, it was actually very difficult to find
(20:39):
a family in Japan who was willing to host an African
American exchange student. And and and I can share with you
why. Yes, please.
It's a couple of things. I think it's unfortunately
Hollywood exports a lot of how people, particularly at that
(21:06):
time, not so much today, but exports a lot of how people view
Americans and how they view different groups of Americans.
And so I think that there was a lot of bias related to black
people in Japan at that time, and there still is to this day.
(21:27):
So that's one aspect. And I think the other aspect was
really the unknown. But this particular family, they
were unique in lots of ways. They were a family of artists,
so they were incredibly creative.
They had an art studio. Their daughters went to a school
(21:51):
that I still love to this day. I actually reached out to the
school not too long ago. It's called Miyagi Gakuin.
Miyagi Gakuin is a private Christian girls high school, so
private girls Christian high school in Japan.
(22:15):
Very, very rare, but that's the school that I attended.
So it just goes to show you how special this family was.
So they educated their girls in this private Christian School
and they actually wanted me to live with them because they
wanted to expose their daughtersnot just to an American, but
(22:37):
they thought it would be beneficial to their daughters to
expose them to a black American.So they chose me for that
reason. And that's something else that
really makes them just incredibly unique.
I think then and today there is a lot that we can all learn from
(23:01):
this family and from our relationship together that
occurred in the 90s, but my goodness seems so incredibly
relevant and important today. Absolutely.
I mean this. Your host family truly sounds
like they were just a diamond inthe rough.
(23:23):
It's so many ways. Fujiwatas.
Yes, the Fujiwatas. They were.
Hey. Have you ever thought about
bringing the world to your home?I have.
YFUUSA you can By hosting an exchange student, you'll
experience a brand new culture right in your own home.
It's an incredible opportunity to make lifelong connections and
(23:46):
help a young student discover the American way of life.
Want more info? Visit yfuusa.org to learn more
about how you can become a host family today.
That's yfuusa.org from knowing about your organization.
Of course, we'd love to hear about Perry's speech.
(24:07):
It sounds like working and beingin areas where there may have
been misunderstandings of who you are and people who are Black
and American are. It sounds like that really kind
of shaped in a lot of ways your future and what you're currently
(24:29):
up to. That's really interesting.
I think it's true. Like I said earlier, Kelsey, I
grew up in Kansas and I had an incredibly diverse experience in
rural Kansas. I lived in Japan, I studied
Japanese in Graduate School. I did an exchange program in
(24:55):
Germany. And so other cultures and
diversity has always been just really important to me.
And it was important to me before we called it that, right?
It was important to me as a way of being and doing and living.
And so for me, Harriet Speaks, aconsultancy that focuses on
(25:24):
belonging, bridging and inclusion related to race,
related to global cultures, is really an extension of an
extension of who I am, part of who I am.
I'm also a criminal defense attorney as well, but it's an
(25:44):
extension of who I am. And I'll tell you, I had a
couple of really impactful moments in Japan that shaped my
thinking about race that I thinkprobably stayed with me to this
day. I remember.
(26:05):
So we, I rode my bike everywhere.
So I rode my bike. I took the train.
I did things by myself a lot of course with my friends from
school, but I also, it was, it was a place where you just, you
just did things. And so I remember one day, a
(26:26):
couple of experiences in my townof Sendai, I was invited to be
like, it's called Ichi Nichi Yuben Kyoku.
And I was basically invited to like be an honorary postal
worker for the day. And it was the coolest thing.
(26:50):
I was invited to play with different kids and get to know
people. So those were some amazingly
positive experiences of how I was embraced.
But it wasn't always that I remember riding my bike one day
(27:11):
and being pointed at. And the some words that were
used to describe me were not only, you know, foreigner in
Japanese, but also, you know, describing me as a black person
in a very derogatory way. And, and I think I could have
(27:40):
saw that as these are horrible, evil, mean people, but I didn't.
I saw that as they had never in their lives seen a person who
looks like me. Never.
So it was, and it was a reflection of what they had been
(28:03):
exposed to, I think. Yeah, I think what that
experience left me with was understanding that when we get
to know one another, the biases that we have can be managed, can
(28:27):
be overcome, can be addressed when we get to know one another.
That's in incredibly insightful,especially as a young person to
take all of that in and not immediately just close off and
become angry and to find a learning experience from all of
that. I think that's something that a
(28:50):
lot, I mean not just the shade shooters that everybody could
really learn from. That's incredibly insightful.
I give you a lot of credit for dealing with that incredibly
challenging situation and turning up something that was
negative into a positive. Yes.
And I guess I would say this too.
(29:11):
Even then, I was able to see that, well, these particular
people were not kind. But I'm living with this
Japanese family who's extraordinarily kind.
I go to a school every day with Japanese people and everyone's
(29:33):
nice. I take the train or the bus
every day and I don't have theseencounters.
How our brains work is we naturally, it is a part of the
evolutionary process where the negative or scary things that
(29:55):
happened to us can be magnified because that's part of our
survival, right? Mechanism, right?
If if there is a bear that you know, tries to attack you, your
brain says I should remember this so that it doesn't happen
again, right? So I know what to do.
So our brain does that. I think being able to tell our
(30:19):
brains that that is 1 incident, you are safe.
Let's look at all of these otherthings that are happening that
do not, that are not consistent with that bad thing that you
just experienced. That's that is the work for us
as human beings. And that's what I really teach,
(30:44):
preach and help people practice and develop with Harriet Speaks.
Yeah, it's, I mean, just from looking at the Harriet Speaks,
it seems like you've worked witha lot of very, very big
organizations, Ford Motor Company, the Paris College of
Arts that you worked with. It's really been quite
(31:06):
impactful. And to think it all, a lot of it
has stemmed from this exchange experience.
It's so cool. What would you say?
What is your proudest moment with working with Harriet
Speaks? Oh my gosh.
You know, every time, Kelsey, I think that I have a moment that
I'm most proud of, something else happens.
(31:30):
The way that I think about my work with Harriet Speaks and I
think exchange is the same way. When you are on an exchange
program, what's happening is youare planting seeds for your
future. All of those experiences are
seeds that are going to grow andyou don't know how they are
(31:54):
going to impact you. Well, Harriet Speaks is the same
way. When I am on a client
engagement, whether I'm working with some of the clients you
mentioned, I currently am working with folks at Stanford
and either even some organizations here in Michigan.
(32:17):
Even then you're planting seeds.But what has happened in the
amount of time that I've been doing this work, invariably 2
years after an engagement ends, someone will e-mail me, will
call me or even refer me to someone else and they will say
(32:39):
something like, you really changed my perspective.
You really helped me to understand something that I had
been struggling with. And so my approach to this work
is it's really about planting seeds.
And so it's hard for me to say my proudest moment because it's
(33:03):
always when someone tells me howthe work impacted them, and
that's usually sometime after that engagement has ended.
And so it it happens on a regular basis.
Would you say your exchange experience has also helped you
in your career as a criminal defense attorney?
Oh my gosh, You know, I don't know.
(33:27):
I don't know as a criminal defense attorney, other than to
say that, you know, I am very mindful of seeing people in
their whole, their, their full humanity, their full humanity,
right? We may not have the same
(33:49):
experiences as someone, particularly when we think about
interacting with people who havebeen a part of the criminal
justice system. We may not have their same lived
experiences, but that doesn't change our shared humanity,
right? It doesn't make them less of a
(34:10):
human. And so I think exchange is very
much related to that in the sense that I didn't have the
same lived experiences as my Ojisan or my Obasan grandmother
because she was amazing as well.I didn't have the same lived
experiences as them. However, what connected us was
(34:32):
our shared humanity and that probably is what how I would say
that, you know, that exchange experience helped me is a
criminal defense attorney. I do think that you use the word
resilience and resilience is important in every single thing
(34:56):
that we do. And so I believe that I had some
level of resilience prior to theexchange program, but it
definitely increased. The other thing that I probably
would say that was really reiterated for me through my
(35:22):
exchange program is this idea that we do nothing alone.
We do nothing alone in life. And I know that when you're 15
or when you're 16 or when you'rethinking about going on an
exchange program, sometimes it can feel really isolating.
(35:44):
I struggled with homesickness. Of course I did.
I mean, I, that was tough. I, there were times when I was
just like over using the dictionaries.
I was over it. I was like, you can tell, I love
to talk. And so this idea that I can't
say the thing that I want to say, it was overwhelming at
(36:09):
times. But I think that that exchange
experience prepared me for life in a way that nothing else could
have, and I'm still reaping the benefits of it.
Credible touched on it a moment ago, then I'll ask to for a
(36:34):
student who is perhaps considering going on exchange.
What advice do you have for them?
The first thing that I would sayis absolutely do it.
And, and I have to say that I believe in exchange so much that
when I then became a parent, it was something that my son grew
(36:59):
up knowing that an exchange program at, at some for some
duration is an expectation is anexpectation for me.
So that's how much I believe in it.
So the advice that I would have is please, please, please do it.
(37:20):
I think now it can be challenging and especially I saw
this with my son. A lot of times, you know, there
are athletic events that you know, people have.
There is a particular. Sometimes it's really hard
because you're trying to graduate at a certain point, but
the benefits just outweigh all of the challenges in terms of
(37:46):
having that exchange program. And the one thing that I would
be remiss in saying, the only way what we think about global
conflict, I firmly believe the key to US reducing, minimizing
(38:09):
global conflict is this type of exchange, right?
This is why why if you was founded in the 1st place and
it's true. And so I look at news
differently because of that exchange experience.
But going back to your question,what advice would I have?
(38:31):
Even if you don't know anyone who has ever gone on an exchange
program, you can be the first. It can be you.
I think every single person, particularly Americans, we need
to go other places. We need to experience what it's
(38:56):
like to, in many instances, be the minority, right?
Many Americans have never been in a situation where they are
the only person who looks like them, who speaks their language,
(39:16):
who has their lived experiences.And that will make you so much
more empathetic. So I particularly advocate
exchange experiences for every single person, and I advocate
them for people who look like me.
(39:39):
I think that black young people can benefit from exchange
programs. Everyone can.
Let me be very clear about that.Everyone can benefit.
But when we look at the statistics, we know that
(40:00):
exchange exchange programs are disproportionately, like 90%,
disproportionately made-up of white people.
And I would love for more black people to say, you know what, I
can be an exchange student. I can go to a country and have a
(40:26):
great experience. And learn about myself in the
process. Yeah, I, I can't agree more.
And I, I know we're unfortunately coming to the end
of our time together and it's, I'm very unfortunate because I
could talk to you forever and I want to hear so much more of
(40:47):
your story. Hope maybe we'll do a Part 2 and
hear even more. I would.
I would absolutely, I would lovethat.
I just have to thank you for doing this and I there is so
much that I could share about the importance of YFU, the
(41:13):
importance of exchange and how it has impacted me.
But what is really important is that we have the conversation
about the relevance of exchange programs not just in 1990, but
(41:37):
in 2025 and beyond. These programs are probably more
relevant now than they ever were.
To end on a bit of a more a light hearted or silly no, what
was your favorite dish or snack that you had while you were in
Japan? First of all, you have to know
(41:58):
that to this day, sushi is my favorite food by just bar none.
Bar none. Everyone knows this about me.
If you know me, you know that ifyou ask me well to eat, we're
going to sushi. But it can't be bad sushi
because I am now a sushi, a sushi snob, right?
So I know good sushi and what's bad sushi.
But there is this so and my hostfamily just loved that.
(42:23):
I loved all the food. I have to tell you two things.
So one thing that I I big mistake that I made it was
horrifying. So in rice is served with every
single meal in Japan. And so I remember at some point
I was like tired of rice. I was just like, OK, so I
decided that I was going to, like, doctor up this rice and
(42:45):
like, make it, like, taste a little more interesting or
something. Kelsey, I put soy sauce on the
rice. Horrible.
Oh, that's Oh, no, Oh no. It was a horrible idea.
It, well, it wasn't about the taste.
It was culturally offensive and inappropriate.
(43:05):
Oh. No, because rice represents
purity in Japanese culture, and you eat rice in its pure form
when it's served in a bowl. And so here I am taking this
dark soy sauce and, like, dumping it on.
And my family was just horrified.
(43:27):
But, you know, this is like a mistake that I made.
And I learned to, like, make mistakes.
And they learned to forgive me. So there was that.
But there my favorite snack was called Capa Edison, Papa Edison.
It's it's like, like, like potato chips, kind of like, and
but they're shrimp flavored. And I just yeah, yeah, yeah.
(43:51):
And see, now you can get like now you can get Japanese snacks
in almost any store, right? You can either go to like an
Asian grocery store or you can even go to your like a regular
grocery store and find snacks. You can find like, you know,
Pope, you know, all these things.
But then you couldn't. And so that was a big deal.
(44:13):
I love Nori, I love seaweed. So I will go to Trader Joe's and
just buy seaweed. And so that's just like my
favorite snack to this day, to this day.
Yum. And as much as I hate to do
this, it's unfortunately the endof our show and our time today.
(44:33):
But Yarlin, I, I want to thank you so much for sharing your
resilience, sharing your experiences and sharing your
story with us and with me personally.
I, I think you are absolutely first of all, wonderful to speak
to, an incredible storyteller and very inspiring.
(44:54):
And I cannot wait to see what you do next.
Thank you, this was a joy and a privilege and please, please,
please if anyone is hesitant or on the fence, just please push
yourselves to do something that your future self will thank you
for. Thanks so much, Kelsey.
(45:16):
Thank you so much and thank you,dear listeners, for tuning in to
this episode of Life Exchange Stories of Understanding.
Please tune in next time. Bye.
Listen to Life Exchange Stories of Understanding now on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever you listen to your
favorite podcasts.
So what I didn't tell you, what I didn't tell you is a full
circle moment happened. So literally 30 years to the day
that I became an exchange student, I became the first
African American on the YFU board.
Right. 30 years to the day. What a full that is.
(00:21):
A it was a full circle. It was a full circle.
Wow, this whole circle. So, so yeah, I, I just, I just
feel like I can't convey enough to people why they need these
experiences. Hello and welcome to this
(00:51):
episode of Life Exchange, Stories of Understanding.
I'm your host, Kelsey Ross, and today we have a very special
guest. Would you like to introduce
yourself and tell us about yourself?
Hi Kelsey, thank you so much forhaving me.
My name is Yarland Daniels. I am a former YFU exchange
(01:12):
student to Japan way back in theway back machine of the 1990s,
and I'm also a former board member for YFU, so I'm really
excited to talk about my experience.
And I am so excited to talk withyou about your experience and
all that you've accomplished from the time of your exchange.
(01:32):
And thank you so much for takingthe time to chat with us today.
My pleasure. To start, how about you tell us
a little bit about yourself and what life was like before
finding out about YFU exchange programs?
So I grew up in, I'm actually from Kansas, from a small town
(01:53):
called Junction City. And I one of the benefits of
growing up in this particular town is it's situated next to a
military base. And so I was always exposed to
people from different backgrounds, different cultures.
And so that was not new to me. I remember in elementary school,
(02:17):
a lot of some of my friends werefrom Cambodia and Vietnam.
And so diversity and different cultures was something that I, I
was very accustomed to. But my life story was a little
bit different. I did not grow up with my
biological parents. I actually from the age of 1 to
(02:38):
18, I was in the foster care system in Kansas.
And so I did not grow up with the idea that exchange was
something that I could do or wasopen to me.
I didn't even know what it was. But there was a young lady in
the town I lived in who was an exchange student, and she went
(03:02):
to Germany. And I thought that was really
interesting. And so that's really where the
seed was planted. Very interesting.
All right. And so I you didn't end up
choosing Germany, you ended up choosing Japan.
Why did you choose Japan to study?
Abroad. So you have to really, this is
(03:24):
also like a history lesson too, you know, in in the 1990s.
And I know that just saying thatit sounds so ancient and so long
ago, but in the 1990s, Japan Incwas a thing.
It was just, it was everything was related to Japan and Russia
(03:45):
with. And so I really, one of the
things about growing up in foster care for me, I grew up
with knowing that I had to really think about what my life
is going to look like. I didn't have family that I
(04:06):
could rely on. And so I, that probably made me
hyper attentive to planning my future.
And there were some not so good parts as well.
Most of the 10 foster homes thatI lived in over the course of
that that period were not good. And so I really had to think
(04:27):
about things in a way that most people 1514 year old years old
don't think about them. And so Japan really was
something that I was interested in because I knew that I wanted
to study business and college. And at the time I was also
really interested in politics and I still AM.
(04:48):
And so I thought I'm either going to go to Japan or Russia
because that's going to really complement my study in business.
And so I did not choose Russia because I talked to some people
and they had some stories that scared me.
And I think that that's still what happens today, right?
When you think about going on anexchange program, the first
(05:09):
thing that you do is you talk topeople.
And when you hear stories about certain countries and they don't
make you feel comfortable or warm inside, you say, OK, no,
I'm not going to do that. And so that's why I didn't
choose Russia. And I said I wanted to go to
Japan. And so, so that's where Japan
came from. Fascinating.
And I'm, I'm sure those with growing up within foster care
(05:32):
that gave you a sort of resilience that I would say even
most exchange students don't really have.
Would you agree? Oh my gosh, you know, Kelsey,
that's probably the best word. As an aside, that's actually the
word for the year that I've chosen for myself as a
resilience. But that's exactly what it was
and what I said to myself. So right before I started the
(05:55):
process of applying to study abroad programs, I was in a
particular foster home where I found myself thinking about
running away. And this is really honest and
I'm not it's, it's really vulnerable as well.
I thought, well, maybe I should just run away.
And then I thought about it somemore and I said, well, if I run
(06:18):
away and I get caught, I'm goingto go to a group home and say
that would be bad, So what else can I do to get out of this
situation? And I said, well, I know I can
go be an exchange student. I remembered this person had
been an exchange student. And I told myself what?
It can't be that much more difficult than living with a new
family. I had been accustomed to going
(06:40):
into different homes and adopt, adapting to their rules and what
their family dynamics were. And so I said, being an exchange
student can't be that, you know,much more difficult.
So I set out to use that resilience that you talked
about. And I think you're right.
I think that for me, it was really thinking about how do I
(07:05):
live with another family, which most exchange students maybe
haven't had the experience of doing, but how do I live with
another family in another culture with a different
language. And for me, it didn't seem that
hard and it seemed like a betteralternative than the other of
running away. And so I found myself applying
(07:30):
to programs to go to Japan for ayear.
But there was one catch, and that was the language, and we
can talk about that. That was actually going to lead
into my next question. Before I get into that, I, I
want to thank you for sharing these really tough parts of your
story and being so vulnerable. I, I, I know it can't be easy to
talk about and I, I appreciate your, your, your openness and
(07:55):
it's, it's very heartwarming. And I, I just really appreciate
that. No, you're more than welcome.
And you know, I think that vulnerability, regardless of
what it's about, it's important for all of us because, you know,
it's through that vulnerability that we help other people.
Because the truth is we don't know what of what anyone is
(08:16):
going through. And when we are vulnerable, we
really encourage other people todo the same.
And you never know who's going through a similar experience and
what they might be thinking. So you're welcome.
And I that's, that's really who I am.
It's wonderful. Who you are is wonderful.
(08:38):
Not knowing the Japanese language, did you do any sort of
preparation before you went to Japan?
How? How did that work out?
So at that time, very few schools offered Japanese as a
class at that time. Now it's really, really common,
and I'm super jealous. So I have to say a couple of
(09:01):
things #1 the, I think also being an exchange student helps
develop the vulnerability. So that's another reason why I
think exchange is so important. But language, So I in high
school, I had studied all the languages that my school
(09:21):
offered. I studied French, I studied
Spanish and I studied German andI sucked at all of them, at
every, at every single one. And that's probably why, Kelsey,
I didn't choose a country with one of those languages because I
was just like, yeah, no. And what happened is and, and I
(09:43):
think that, you know, when your school offers those languages,
you know, when you're applying for a program, they expect you
to do, like, really well or havesome fluency.
And so I was just like, OK, yeah, that's not going to work.
But what I learned about myself in the process is that I
actually learn best through immersion.
(10:05):
I learn through doing. I learn through hearing.
I learn through experience, and so I learned that about myself.
And then I also developed, I think, a really healthy critique
of how we teach foreign languagein this country, right?
I don't think it's ideal for anyone to learn a foreign
(10:27):
language by sitting in a classroom memorizing sentences,
studying vocabulary. You really need to be in that
culture. And that is how I learned
Japanese. So when I left, why, if you did
a great job, there was some preparation that why if you
provided some introductory prep,but I was actually under the
(10:54):
impression that my host family spoke English.
Oh no, it was great. So I've got to tell you this
story. So yes, please.
I did the prep work. We, you know, had packets that
were mailed to us. So you know, our my Gen.
(11:15):
Z friends are listening to this and they're like, what do you
mean they mailed packets to you?Why don't you just go online and
like study? Well, this is pre Internet, so
there was no just go online and study.
So you just go and imagine. A paper with stamps.
Yeah, and they right, they sent you these things in the mail.
Yeah, it was. It was hilarious.
(11:37):
It was. Yeah.
So there was so like, oh, just go to Khan Academy or just go
and like use a course or it wasn't like that.
So, but that's OK. So I did the prep work.
But I was also under the impression that my host family
spoke English only to realize, and we'll come back to this.
When I got there, I got off the train and I lived in Sendai, an
(12:03):
amazing, amazing city. I'm in northern Japan, north of
Tokyo, and my host family had this amazing sign that said
welcome Yarland, and it was in perfect English.
It was colored. I actually still have that sign
that they made for me. So I got off the train and I
(12:24):
started talking to them in English and they just kind of
looked at each other and they had no idea.
They had no idea what I was saying, and I turned around to
look at the train because I was just like, I've got to get back
on the train. And the train was gone.
And so I was just like, OK, well, this is what it is.
(12:47):
This is what we're going to do. And so that was the beginning of
my realization that my host family didn't speak English and
I didn't speak Japanese. But we quickly adapted and we
learned and we gave one another grace and understanding and we
(13:09):
found out that there are lots ofways to communicate.
It was like playing charades allthe time, so.
Yeah, Oh my goodness. Great memories, great memories.
I did a little bit of backgroundresearch and it sounded like you
were very close with the grandfather in your host family.
(13:31):
How did that connection develop?Oh my gosh.
So in Japan, typically multiple generations live in the same
home and so it's very common andexpected for grandparents to
live in the house with the parents and the children.
(13:53):
So you have 3 generations and one house.
I have a special love and appreciation for that system, by
the way. But OG son, OG son, Oh my gosh,
I, I am going to get through this podcast without crying.
I promise you and me both. OG Son was in World War 2 and he
(14:21):
had a lot of pain and a lot of memories associated with that.
And so again, while we didn't speak the same language, we used
pictures. We made an effort to try to
(14:43):
communicate with one another. I had dinner with them every
night. And that that is how that
relationship developed. I I'm going to spend probably
the rest of my life, Kelsey trying to articulate how you
(15:05):
become close to someone when there's not a shared language.
The only thing that I can, the only way that I can express it
now is that our hearts understand one another.
And that was my experience. He was a very jovial man.
(15:28):
He loved to laugh. And what I learned as a part of
that experience was laughter andjoy and smiles are universal.
And so even if you can't say something to someone, you can
(15:48):
communicate joy. And that's what we did, and
that's how we became so close. Love to see universal the
universal language. It really is.
Oh, that's so that's touching. Are you?
You still communicate with your host family to this day.
You know, to I have not in a lotof years.
(16:11):
So after I had my year in high school, I actually then went to
college and studied East Asian languages and cultures at the
University of Kansas. I must say that.
And I minored in Japanese, and Ithen went back to Japan for an
(16:34):
exchange in college, and I was able to visit with my host
family. Then even before college, I
actually skipped a stage. My host sister, I had two host
sisters, Sakiko and Odier. Sakiko came to the US for a
(16:56):
year. So it was truly in exchange.
She came to the US for the year.And you're not going to believe
this. She lived in Michigan.
She had a host family in Saginaw.
No way. Yes, way, yes, way, yes way and
(17:18):
so in and you know, for the for the viewers just to know, you
know why if you had was was founded in Michigan and, and has
an office in Saginaw. So I went to Japan, lived with
this family for a year. Sakiko, who was my oldest
(17:39):
sister, ended up coming to Michigan and living in Saginaw
for a year. While she was in Michigan, she
came to visit me in Kansas. And so she visited my high
school for a week. And so we, yes, it was, that is
probably the truest exchange experience that I've heard of.
(18:04):
But I have lost contact with them.
And to be really honest, one of the things that I'm really, I'm
reluctant to try to re establishcontact.
There was a devastating tsunami that impacted Sendai several
(18:29):
years ago and the pictures showed such complete
devastation. And that I have always been
afraid of what I might, what I might learn.
(18:50):
So that is something that I am Iam working through because I
will tell you this family was soimportant to me, so pivotal in
my life. If anything, they were probably
(19:11):
the, if not one of, if not the first true family that I
experienced. I turned 16 with them in Japan
and they gave me this amazing necklace that I still have
today. And so they they, they really
(19:32):
mean mean a lot to me. And so the idea of discovering
that that entire family may havebeen lost is probably a lot to.
Think about Yeah, I that fear isvalid, that unknown, but.
We have to face our fears. We have to face our fears.
(19:55):
But sometimes it's harder than sometimes it's hard and it takes
time. Yeah.
Right. I wish you the best of luck on
overcoming that fear and that obstacle.
And I hope and I have a feeling in my heart that is that
connection will be there. They will be there, and that
family connection could continueto grow.
Yeah, that would that would be fantastic.
(20:16):
That would be fantastic. You know, I have to say, one of
the things that made that familyso special is the fact that they
chose me. And, and I'll tell you what I
mean by that. You might not have noticed, but
I, I am black. It's OK.
It's OK. You can laugh.
But at that time, it was actually very difficult to find
(20:39):
a family in Japan who was willing to host an African
American exchange student. And and and I can share with you
why. Yes, please.
It's a couple of things. I think it's unfortunately
Hollywood exports a lot of how people, particularly at that
(21:06):
time, not so much today, but exports a lot of how people view
Americans and how they view different groups of Americans.
And so I think that there was a lot of bias related to black
people in Japan at that time, and there still is to this day.
(21:27):
So that's one aspect. And I think the other aspect was
really the unknown. But this particular family, they
were unique in lots of ways. They were a family of artists,
so they were incredibly creative.
They had an art studio. Their daughters went to a school
(21:51):
that I still love to this day. I actually reached out to the
school not too long ago. It's called Miyagi Gakuin.
Miyagi Gakuin is a private Christian girls high school, so
private girls Christian high school in Japan.
(22:15):
Very, very rare, but that's the school that I attended.
So it just goes to show you how special this family was.
So they educated their girls in this private Christian School
and they actually wanted me to live with them because they
wanted to expose their daughtersnot just to an American, but
(22:37):
they thought it would be beneficial to their daughters to
expose them to a black American.So they chose me for that
reason. And that's something else that
really makes them just incredibly unique.
I think then and today there is a lot that we can all learn from
(23:01):
this family and from our relationship together that
occurred in the 90s, but my goodness seems so incredibly
relevant and important today. Absolutely.
I mean this. Your host family truly sounds
like they were just a diamond inthe rough.
(23:23):
It's so many ways. Fujiwatas.
Yes, the Fujiwatas. They were.
Hey. Have you ever thought about
bringing the world to your home?I have.
YFUUSA you can By hosting an exchange student, you'll
experience a brand new culture right in your own home.
It's an incredible opportunity to make lifelong connections and
(23:46):
help a young student discover the American way of life.
Want more info? Visit yfuusa.org to learn more
about how you can become a host family today.
That's yfuusa.org from knowing about your organization.
Of course, we'd love to hear about Perry's speech.
(24:07):
It sounds like working and beingin areas where there may have
been misunderstandings of who you are and people who are Black
and American are. It sounds like that really kind
of shaped in a lot of ways your future and what you're currently
(24:29):
up to. That's really interesting.
I think it's true. Like I said earlier, Kelsey, I
grew up in Kansas and I had an incredibly diverse experience in
rural Kansas. I lived in Japan, I studied
Japanese in Graduate School. I did an exchange program in
(24:55):
Germany. And so other cultures and
diversity has always been just really important to me.
And it was important to me before we called it that, right?
It was important to me as a way of being and doing and living.
And so for me, Harriet Speaks, aconsultancy that focuses on
(25:24):
belonging, bridging and inclusion related to race,
related to global cultures, is really an extension of an
extension of who I am, part of who I am.
I'm also a criminal defense attorney as well, but it's an
(25:44):
extension of who I am. And I'll tell you, I had a
couple of really impactful moments in Japan that shaped my
thinking about race that I thinkprobably stayed with me to this
day. I remember.
(26:05):
So we, I rode my bike everywhere.
So I rode my bike. I took the train.
I did things by myself a lot of course with my friends from
school, but I also, it was, it was a place where you just, you
just did things. And so I remember one day, a
(26:26):
couple of experiences in my townof Sendai, I was invited to be
like, it's called Ichi Nichi Yuben Kyoku.
And I was basically invited to like be an honorary postal
worker for the day. And it was the coolest thing.
(26:50):
I was invited to play with different kids and get to know
people. So those were some amazingly
positive experiences of how I was embraced.
But it wasn't always that I remember riding my bike one day
(27:11):
and being pointed at. And the some words that were
used to describe me were not only, you know, foreigner in
Japanese, but also, you know, describing me as a black person
in a very derogatory way. And, and I think I could have
(27:40):
saw that as these are horrible, evil, mean people, but I didn't.
I saw that as they had never in their lives seen a person who
looks like me. Never.
So it was, and it was a reflection of what they had been
(28:03):
exposed to, I think. Yeah, I think what that
experience left me with was understanding that when we get
to know one another, the biases that we have can be managed, can
(28:27):
be overcome, can be addressed when we get to know one another.
That's in incredibly insightful,especially as a young person to
take all of that in and not immediately just close off and
become angry and to find a learning experience from all of
that. I think that's something that a
(28:50):
lot, I mean not just the shade shooters that everybody could
really learn from. That's incredibly insightful.
I give you a lot of credit for dealing with that incredibly
challenging situation and turning up something that was
negative into a positive. Yes.
And I guess I would say this too.
(29:11):
Even then, I was able to see that, well, these particular
people were not kind. But I'm living with this
Japanese family who's extraordinarily kind.
I go to a school every day with Japanese people and everyone's
(29:33):
nice. I take the train or the bus
every day and I don't have theseencounters.
How our brains work is we naturally, it is a part of the
evolutionary process where the negative or scary things that
(29:55):
happened to us can be magnified because that's part of our
survival, right? Mechanism, right?
If if there is a bear that you know, tries to attack you, your
brain says I should remember this so that it doesn't happen
again, right? So I know what to do.
So our brain does that. I think being able to tell our
(30:19):
brains that that is 1 incident, you are safe.
Let's look at all of these otherthings that are happening that
do not, that are not consistent with that bad thing that you
just experienced. That's that is the work for us
as human beings. And that's what I really teach,
(30:44):
preach and help people practice and develop with Harriet Speaks.
Yeah, it's, I mean, just from looking at the Harriet Speaks,
it seems like you've worked witha lot of very, very big
organizations, Ford Motor Company, the Paris College of
Arts that you worked with. It's really been quite
(31:06):
impactful. And to think it all, a lot of it
has stemmed from this exchange experience.
It's so cool. What would you say?
What is your proudest moment with working with Harriet
Speaks? Oh my gosh.
You know, every time, Kelsey, I think that I have a moment that
I'm most proud of, something else happens.
(31:30):
The way that I think about my work with Harriet Speaks and I
think exchange is the same way. When you are on an exchange
program, what's happening is youare planting seeds for your
future. All of those experiences are
seeds that are going to grow andyou don't know how they are
(31:54):
going to impact you. Well, Harriet Speaks is the same
way. When I am on a client
engagement, whether I'm working with some of the clients you
mentioned, I currently am working with folks at Stanford
and either even some organizations here in Michigan.
(32:17):
Even then you're planting seeds.But what has happened in the
amount of time that I've been doing this work, invariably 2
years after an engagement ends, someone will e-mail me, will
call me or even refer me to someone else and they will say
(32:39):
something like, you really changed my perspective.
You really helped me to understand something that I had
been struggling with. And so my approach to this work
is it's really about planting seeds.
And so it's hard for me to say my proudest moment because it's
(33:03):
always when someone tells me howthe work impacted them, and
that's usually sometime after that engagement has ended.
And so it it happens on a regular basis.
Would you say your exchange experience has also helped you
in your career as a criminal defense attorney?
Oh my gosh, You know, I don't know.
(33:27):
I don't know as a criminal defense attorney, other than to
say that, you know, I am very mindful of seeing people in
their whole, their, their full humanity, their full humanity,
right? We may not have the same
(33:49):
experiences as someone, particularly when we think about
interacting with people who havebeen a part of the criminal
justice system. We may not have their same lived
experiences, but that doesn't change our shared humanity,
right? It doesn't make them less of a
(34:10):
human. And so I think exchange is very
much related to that in the sense that I didn't have the
same lived experiences as my Ojisan or my Obasan grandmother
because she was amazing as well.I didn't have the same lived
experiences as them. However, what connected us was
(34:32):
our shared humanity and that probably is what how I would say
that, you know, that exchange experience helped me is a
criminal defense attorney. I do think that you use the word
resilience and resilience is important in every single thing
(34:56):
that we do. And so I believe that I had some
level of resilience prior to theexchange program, but it
definitely increased. The other thing that I probably
would say that was really reiterated for me through my
(35:22):
exchange program is this idea that we do nothing alone.
We do nothing alone in life. And I know that when you're 15
or when you're 16 or when you'rethinking about going on an
exchange program, sometimes it can feel really isolating.
(35:44):
I struggled with homesickness. Of course I did.
I mean, I, that was tough. I, there were times when I was
just like over using the dictionaries.
I was over it. I was like, you can tell, I love
to talk. And so this idea that I can't
say the thing that I want to say, it was overwhelming at
(36:09):
times. But I think that that exchange
experience prepared me for life in a way that nothing else could
have, and I'm still reaping the benefits of it.
Credible touched on it a moment ago, then I'll ask to for a
(36:34):
student who is perhaps considering going on exchange.
What advice do you have for them?
The first thing that I would sayis absolutely do it.
And, and I have to say that I believe in exchange so much that
when I then became a parent, it was something that my son grew
(36:59):
up knowing that an exchange program at, at some for some
duration is an expectation is anexpectation for me.
So that's how much I believe in it.
So the advice that I would have is please, please, please do it.
(37:20):
I think now it can be challenging and especially I saw
this with my son. A lot of times, you know, there
are athletic events that you know, people have.
There is a particular. Sometimes it's really hard
because you're trying to graduate at a certain point, but
the benefits just outweigh all of the challenges in terms of
(37:46):
having that exchange program. And the one thing that I would
be remiss in saying, the only way what we think about global
conflict, I firmly believe the key to US reducing, minimizing
(38:09):
global conflict is this type of exchange, right?
This is why why if you was founded in the 1st place and
it's true. And so I look at news
differently because of that exchange experience.
But going back to your question,what advice would I have?
(38:31):
Even if you don't know anyone who has ever gone on an exchange
program, you can be the first. It can be you.
I think every single person, particularly Americans, we need
to go other places. We need to experience what it's
(38:56):
like to, in many instances, be the minority, right?
Many Americans have never been in a situation where they are
the only person who looks like them, who speaks their language,
(39:16):
who has their lived experiences.And that will make you so much
more empathetic. So I particularly advocate
exchange experiences for every single person, and I advocate
them for people who look like me.
(39:39):
I think that black young people can benefit from exchange
programs. Everyone can.
Let me be very clear about that.Everyone can benefit.
But when we look at the statistics, we know that
(40:00):
exchange exchange programs are disproportionately, like 90%,
disproportionately made-up of white people.
And I would love for more black people to say, you know what, I
can be an exchange student. I can go to a country and have a
(40:26):
great experience. And learn about myself in the
process. Yeah, I, I can't agree more.
And I, I know we're unfortunately coming to the end
of our time together and it's, I'm very unfortunate because I
could talk to you forever and I want to hear so much more of
(40:47):
your story. Hope maybe we'll do a Part 2 and
hear even more. I would.
I would absolutely, I would lovethat.
I just have to thank you for doing this and I there is so
much that I could share about the importance of YFU, the
(41:13):
importance of exchange and how it has impacted me.
But what is really important is that we have the conversation
about the relevance of exchange programs not just in 1990, but
(41:37):
in 2025 and beyond. These programs are probably more
relevant now than they ever were.
To end on a bit of a more a light hearted or silly no, what
was your favorite dish or snack that you had while you were in
Japan? First of all, you have to know
(41:58):
that to this day, sushi is my favorite food by just bar none.
Bar none. Everyone knows this about me.
If you know me, you know that ifyou ask me well to eat, we're
going to sushi. But it can't be bad sushi
because I am now a sushi, a sushi snob, right?
So I know good sushi and what's bad sushi.
But there is this so and my hostfamily just loved that.
(42:23):
I loved all the food. I have to tell you two things.
So one thing that I I big mistake that I made it was
horrifying. So in rice is served with every
single meal in Japan. And so I remember at some point
I was like tired of rice. I was just like, OK, so I
decided that I was going to, like, doctor up this rice and
(42:45):
like, make it, like, taste a little more interesting or
something. Kelsey, I put soy sauce on the
rice. Horrible.
Oh, that's Oh, no, Oh no. It was a horrible idea.
It, well, it wasn't about the taste.
It was culturally offensive and inappropriate.
(43:05):
Oh. No, because rice represents
purity in Japanese culture, and you eat rice in its pure form
when it's served in a bowl. And so here I am taking this
dark soy sauce and, like, dumping it on.
And my family was just horrified.
(43:27):
But, you know, this is like a mistake that I made.
And I learned to, like, make mistakes.
And they learned to forgive me. So there was that.
But there my favorite snack was called Capa Edison, Papa Edison.
It's it's like, like, like potato chips, kind of like, and
but they're shrimp flavored. And I just yeah, yeah, yeah.
(43:51):
And see, now you can get like now you can get Japanese snacks
in almost any store, right? You can either go to like an
Asian grocery store or you can even go to your like a regular
grocery store and find snacks. You can find like, you know,
Pope, you know, all these things.
But then you couldn't. And so that was a big deal.
(44:13):
I love Nori, I love seaweed. So I will go to Trader Joe's and
just buy seaweed. And so that's just like my
favorite snack to this day, to this day.
Yum. And as much as I hate to do
this, it's unfortunately the endof our show and our time today.
(44:33):
But Yarlin, I, I want to thank you so much for sharing your
resilience, sharing your experiences and sharing your
story with us and with me personally.
I, I think you are absolutely first of all, wonderful to speak
to, an incredible storyteller and very inspiring.
(44:54):
And I cannot wait to see what you do next.
Thank you, this was a joy and a privilege and please, please,
please if anyone is hesitant or on the fence, just please push
yourselves to do something that your future self will thank you
for. Thanks so much, Kelsey.
(45:16):
Thank you so much and thank you,dear listeners, for tuning in to
this episode of Life Exchange Stories of Understanding.
Please tune in next time. Bye.
Listen to Life Exchange Stories of Understanding now on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever you listen to your
favorite podcasts.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!