July 9, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever feel called to speak, teach, or lead—but wonder how to actually grow in it?
💬 Someone recently asked me a list of questions - one of them really stuck out to me so I devoted this episode soley to that question - "How do you know if this is your calling, or just something you are good at?"
🔥 In this conversation, I unpack the honest truths about preparation, confidence, humor, and the not-so-glamorous grind behind public speaking and ministry communication. Whether you're leading in a pulpit, a classroom, or a boardroom—this one's for you.
🎧 Listen to the full episode now and take the next step in your growth as a communicator.
Thank you for taking the time to jump into Life, Hope, and Leadership with me. I hope you are encouraged today by our time together. Grab something to take notes with, and know I am praying for you and cheering you on in your walk with God. If you have questions about Jesus and Christianity, please take a moment to check out the following links: www.ghow.net/saved or www.pastornick.net.
Show your support or Jump into the conversations here: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/nick-chybrzynski Leave a comment and let us all know where you are watching from.
#PublicSpeakingTips #CommunicationMatters #LeadershipDevelopment #PreachingLife #SpeakWithPurpose #YoungLeaders #MinistryTraining #GrowthMindset #PodcastForLeaders #ChangeYourWorld #ChristianLeadership #LifeHopeLeadership #SpeakerLife
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
(00:24):
What up everybody, I am so happyto be on this live because I
have been working on it for hours trying to get on here and
it has just been ridiculous. So thank you for jumping on this
Life, Hope and Leadership podcast.
I am actually trying to do this live on YouTube and TikTok at
(00:46):
the same time while recording mytraditional style through my Rd.
caster for all the podcasting platforms.
The reason that today was all complicated was because I have
realized that when I was recording on video people have
asked hey man why don't you justdo video and blah blah blah
blah. So I'm like OK I'll try that.
(01:07):
Well I kept trying to do it and no matter what you do it would
not go directly live video to YouTube and other streaming
platforms. So just trying to listen to
y'all different people giving mefeedback.
I'm just trying to connect. And so anyway, I am live on
TikTok. I'm going to keep trying to do
(01:27):
this through my through my my home setup and we'll see how
that goes. But also I am streaming all my
podcasts on all streaming platforms, major platforms,
iHeartRadio, Apple podcast, Spotify is my main platform.
And I'm finishing maybe today, the third episode of Before You
(01:52):
Grab the Mic. And I have a family in our
church. I'm a pastor of a local church
in the greater Pittsburgh area and just an awesome young couple
in our church. And they're, you know, asking
about public community, public communication and pastoring and
ministry. And so over the last couple
weeks, I have answered a couple of the questions.
(02:15):
Last week was actually one question because there was a lot
of meat to it. And then today we're going to
answer a few more. So while we are jumping in, make
sure you like and share and you know whatever, do everything you
can to support it if it's feeding you, I appreciate it.
So this will be the third, the third, I guess addition in
(02:36):
addition to this and the questions that I have in front
of me today, actually two of them kind of fall in together
and I'm not that they're superficial whatsoever, but they
do harmonize. So today's question is how do
you, how do you read or adapt toaudience feedback in real time?
(02:56):
The other question, the next question would be do you have
any go to tactics to quickly build rapport with strangers?
And then the last question is what are common pitfalls you see
beginners make and presentations, talks, etcetera
and how do you suggest they avoid them?
(03:17):
So I think actually one of the best things to start with would
be that question, what are common pitfalls that you see
beginners make in their presentations, talks, etcetera.
And I would honestly say overconfidence and it now the
interesting part is to connect and to, to even walk in your
(03:38):
communication gifting if you need to have confidence, but
overconfidence, overconfidence will will nip you in the butt
and the it's dangerous because, you know, the Bible actually
says pride precedes a fall. And I, I often when I'm trying
to help people grow in their communication.
(04:01):
And, and my greatest pitfall hasbeen the years where I was like,
I got it. Well, I remember one time I was
in AI was preaching. I was actually a guest speaker
at a church and I was speaking to their their student ministry.
And there was a part where I just really felt disconnected
from the youth or the audience. And so I, I was really bothered
(04:25):
by it because I haven't really had a lot of situations where I
felt that way. And I ended up messaging a guy
who, who was leading a student ministry with hundreds, if not
1000 plus students in it. And I was like, Hey, can I ask
you a couple questions? And one of the questions was
like, what do you do when you feel disconnected from your
(04:46):
audience? And what do you, you know, I
felt like there was a lull or a gap and it was really cool.
He responded to me and he said, look, dude, at the end of the
day, especially now, I just, I just do want to, I do want to, I
do want to kind of what's the word precedent this with, with
these were we were strictly talking about students.
(05:08):
And so based on the, the demographic you're going to be
communicating to will actually change how they receive and
perceive A communicator. So if you're dealing with kids,
you're going to have to really reel it in.
And one of my mentors often toldme, if you want to learn to
communicate to the masses, startwith children's church, not
(05:30):
because they're a stepping stone, but because they're the
hardest to keep their focus. And so I thought that that was
really cool. I thought that was a very
interesting thought. It's like you, you should be
sharpening your communication skills if you believe in what
you're teaching, what you're saying.
And So what are common pitfalls for people who are beginning and
(05:52):
learning how to present, how to communicate well?
Arrogance, pride. And there was a lot of time
where I don't need to listen. So watch other communicators in
all forms. I forget who was actually a
pastor from Alabama, Pastor Elaine Strands.
He said to me one time, read theTed Talk book.
And I was like, I'm so mad because Ted Talk, I think you
have to be like 18 minutes or something.
(06:13):
It's extremely confined. But the whole art of what
they're trying to teach you is to cut away the fat.
And a lot of people say a lot, but they're saying very little.
You know, I grew up around some church communities where an hour
message could be consolidated into like 20 minutes if all the
hoop hooping and hollering wouldjust, and I'm not, I'm not
(06:36):
trying to diss nobody. That's not, that's not the point
of my platforms. But there's just a lot of, and,
and it's like, dude, if you would just stop doing that, you
know what I mean? What is a common pitfall for a
beginner? Talk to people the way you talk
to people, talk to people the way you talk to people.
I, I think it's important whether I'm talking through
(06:57):
TikTok or through a, a, a, a radio or through a, a camera or,
or face to face people. I love that saying people don't
care how much you know until they know how much you care.
And I think it's Pastor Craig Rochelle always talks about, you
know, people, the people want you to be real.
And so I think when you're communicating, one of the
greatest pitfalls is you trying to step into some persona,
(07:22):
putting a mask on, be you. Also be humble.
Also learn from others. Also practice, practice,
practice communicating. I get in, I get nervous.
No matter what, no matter how often I communicate, there's
always a part of me that goes, hey, like this, I don't want to
say something wrong. I don't I don't want to hurt
anybody's feelings. I don't I mean I will hurt
(07:45):
feelings. I don't intend.
I don't it's not intentional, but some of the pitfalls would
be thinking, you know, thinking you are.
The Bible says thinking that you're higher than you are.
You really just need to stay calm, be humble, talk to people,
keep your composure, don't. What are some pitfalls allowing
a hiccup to become a trip up? And if you if you get
(08:09):
distracted, just be honest. Oh my gosh, guys, I'm sorry,
just got distracted. Here we are.
Get back to your point. But those are those are some of
the biggest pitfalls. And I think the greatest is what
I said earlier is just pride andnot learning from other people.
Stay humble, man, Stay growing. And so that kind of brings me
into like, how do you address audience feedback in real time?
(08:33):
Well, I love to engage. And so I believe that there's a
few different factors to communication.
Number one, just because you're communicating, just because you
think you're communicating doesn't mean you are.
That's really important. Just because you're talking
doesn't mean people are listening.
Just because you're saying it doesn't mean people understand
(08:54):
it. And so that goes back to some
pitfalls, but how do you adjust or adapt?
How do you read your audience? You know, are they moving?
Are they laughing? Are they yawning?
Are they checked out? Are they?
And now you got to be careful because 20 years ago was a lot
different than today. Because if you're communicating
to a crowd of people and they'relooking at their phone, they
might be recording you, they might be taking notes, they
(09:16):
might be really listening. And it's easy to feel like
people aren't listening to you because they might be looking
distracted. But we live in a distracted
society and sometimes the very things that are distracting us
are the very tools we have to capture things.
So I look at our crowd, I try not to be careful.
(09:37):
Some pitfalls kind of get in theway of, of connecting with your
audience, which is doing too much pacing, too much fidgeting,
too much doing the same motions over and over again.
I see people and you know, one of the one of the things that I
watch when I watch communicatorsis they say like work.
They say work your crowd. And what they mean by that is
(10:01):
get around the room. But some people do that so
meticulously that they do it monotonously.
Does that make sense? So they're so intentional about
connecting with the audience that you'll watch people and
they literally look like a, a crazy bird that just slides from
end to end of its little perch. You ever seen a bird do that?
(10:22):
They just go back and forth, back and forth.
And so you're actually like, in a way, hypnotizing or lulling
your, your crowd to sleep. If people, I want you to
remember this. If people sat in a seat to
listen to you talk or share or communicate or preach or
encourage, you've already got a part of their heart.
(10:44):
They've already offered you a part of who they are and where
they are. And so be careful that you don't
get so overwhelmed with the people that are looking at you
and talking to you that you allow it to derail your
intention. So I'm reading my audience.
I hey, if I see people are kind of falling asleep, if they're
(11:04):
like they're, they're nodding out, I might do something really
dressed Bam, like something realloud to give them a, a jump or a
or a pulse in their heart. People sometimes need that.
I get tired, dude. There's times where I'm like
woozing out in a in a room and Idon't want to be.
So just because people are falling asleep doesn't mean it's
(11:25):
you. It might be you.
Be careful that you don't alwayssay it's not, but but they might
just need a jolt. I I try to connect with people.
Where are you? That's important.
I remember it was a from a Red Sock quote or a story from Kari
jokes. She's a Christian worship
artist, singer, worship leader. And she was talking about how in
(11:46):
some regions when she would leadworship, people would be very,
very exuberant and expressive. And then other regions she would
go and it was like, it's just like night and day difference in
the reaction of the quote UN quote crowd.
And she took that personal untilafter a night of worship, people
came up and they're like, man, Iwas really moved today and I'm
(12:08):
so grateful you came. You helped me experience God.
And she's like, wow, I would have never have known.
My one of my pastors told me this before.
And this was at his error that he that he shared this.
He was a guest speaker at a church and he was preaching
some, some, some, I mean, just real passionate, real fired up
(12:29):
and very, very deep biblical content.
And so when he was done, he was like, I preached.
I preached fine, you know, and he thought he was killing it.
And so he goes up to his pastor,his mentor, and he goes, hey
man, did you see how well I did?He said, son, don't preach for
reaction. Preach for revelation.
(12:50):
Preach and teach people not for how they will respond.
Teach them on how they will receive and change the way they
live and think like Romans chapter 12.
That's what Romans 12 calls us to do, to change the way we live
and act and think. And you, we do that through the
(13:10):
enlightening of the word of God.We're called to preach the word
of God. So you might be an actor, an
actress, dude, if, if you're an actor and people aren't like if
you're a comedian and people aren't laughing, you might need
to step away from your content and do some connection time.
You know, my wife and I went to a comedy show, an improv comedy
(13:33):
show. I kid you not.
It was a room full of people in a little bar restaurant.
We were in the restaurant side. The bar was on the other side of
the wall. And there was all these
comedians and people in this room.
Well, these people would come upand they would do their bit.
They, they sucked. They were the worst comedians
I've ever heard in my entire life.
(13:54):
But what my wife and I realized was that every single one of
them, when they were done, they went over to the bar and they
left all the other comedians that were there to watch them.
They left them all alone. By the end of the night, there
was like 2 comedians left. We realized my wife and I were
the only non comedians in this whole improv and I was really
bummed out. And I think that that was a
pitfall for every one of these comedians.
(14:17):
You, if you're growing and you're trying to get better, you
should also be there for others and you should be helping other
people grow in their gifts and talents.
It's so easy in this world to call people dumb and to to say
people are idiots. Oh my God, they don't know, you
know, No, these guys were terrible.
They were terrible comedians. And honestly, a big part, I
(14:37):
think of the reason why they weren't very good was because
they didn't stick around to ask questions.
They didn't stick around to learn.
They should have come over to other comedians.
Hey, man, what could I have donebetter?
Sometimes you got to throw the content out.
Some of my favorite comedic bitsare the impromptu ones when
you're not doing your bit, when you're not sticking to your
(14:58):
immediate content. Now, I'm a pastor, so I'm
preaching the word of God. And no matter how much I bring
comedy and just into it, I have no freedom or right to step away
from the Word of God. Everything I do goes back to the
word of God. I don't have a right to make it
my own. I don't have a right to change
it. But if you're a communicator and
you're going to be teaching on the anatomy of the body, people
(15:21):
aren't connecting. All right, everybody stand up.
All right. Where's your knee bone?
Where's your elbow bone? All right.
You know, where's your, where's your nose?
Where's you know? OK, Yeah, we get it.
The knee bones connected to that.
I would have everybody doing therobot.
All right? That's your You know, I would
start talking and sharing, get them moving, get them laughing,
and then sit them back down and get back to your content.
Why? Because sometimes you just got
(15:41):
to break up the monotony. You got to break in.
This is the same in church. We got to break up the
religiosity. Sometimes it's got to be this
way. You got to say it this way.
I don't got to say it any freaking way.
I just got to make sure I say itaccording to the word of God.
And so, so I'm reading and I'm watching and I'm adapting in
real time. How do you do it?
A lot of practice, a lot of practice.
(16:03):
And, and also remember that pending on what it is you're
trying to communicate at, you know, OK, OK, let's just put it
this way. If I felt like I disconnected, I
remember one of one of my, one of my, one of the spiritual son
in my life. He he was preaching and I told
him it was his first time. I think maybe maybe a handful of
(16:24):
times, but this is one of the first times he that he taught
the longest. It wasn't just a share, but it
was really he had to, he actually had the service was
really funny because when he wasdone, he was like, OK, I'm done.
And he just like looked at the worship team and gave the mic
and he's like, are you guys going to sing a song now?
And, and I came up and I grabbedthe mic.
I said, man, it wasn't that awesome.
(16:44):
He did so great. I said, rough landing.
But hey, it doesn't matter. You know, we made it.
We got where we were going and we laughed about it.
And we, we, we, and it wasn't making fun of him.
Be careful. We're not making fun of people.
We're we're letting them learn. We're letting them, we're
letting them try. We're letting them fly, we're
letting them grow. And and so we use laughter to
(17:07):
get over those awkward moments. Hey guys, I just forgot what I
was saying. Help me, help me, help me.
Oh my gosh, where would I be without you guys?
Thank God. This isn't just a one way
communication. And that's I think a big part of
connecting with your audience. Now, obviously in every
environment, you're not going tobe able to have the opportunity
to get real time feedback. But I would beg to differ that
(17:28):
you can't do it more often than you would believe.
The greatest way to connect withyour with your audience is to
remember that they're there withyou.
Be careful that you get arrogantand think they're there for you.
If someone comes to learn about selling houses, being a better
salesman, managing a business, leading a family, serving the
(17:52):
Lord, pastoring a church, they're there with you.
They want to be connected. So now I do this and I don't
necessarily recommend it. Sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll say a
name like at church, I'm like, hey, you know, and I'll call
somebody, call somebody's name out while I'm, and because I'll
see them and I want them to knowI see you.
(18:13):
I know you're here connecting with, I want you to know I love
you. I value you.
And I think that that's a pitfall.
If you're just in it to make money or to get in, to get in
front of people, I don't care what it is.
There was a, a quote from an author I read in my 20s and he
said, don't focus on money, focus on people and money will
follow. Help people, heal people, coach
(18:37):
people, love people, push them forward, be a support for them.
When you do that, there's, there's provisionary resource
because you're, you're actually valuing people.
If you value money, that's all you'll ever have.
You value people, you'll be richer than you've ever
imagined. And I'm not referring to money.
So how do you, how do I do that?Well, you do it with a lot of
(18:58):
practice. You do it with patience.
What's a pitfall? Slow down.
The point is not to get the content out.
The point is to get the content in.
Now, in a Ted Talk, you have so much time and you're not allowed
to go over that. So you know you need to get that
content out. But the goal is to get the
(19:20):
content in so good notes, good practice.
I talked about it a couple weeksago.
I utilized my resources. I will take my notes my sermon.
I did not do well in sermon prepin Bible college.
Not that my sermon content wasn't there.
The based on how they wanted my content outlined.
(19:40):
I did not fare well in that regard.
Now I I Platt passed with flyingflying colors in preaching lab
man, they're like, wow, the content was there.
I didn't see that in your notes.The content was there.
It didn't make sense. What's in the outline?
Well, of course it didn't make sense in the outline.
My brain is different than many,many people's and how it fires
and and goes off. I see in pictures and themes and
(20:00):
and colors and and, and expressions I don't necessarily
see in orders and lists. So now I realize I got to get
better at that to make sure I'm maximizing.
And I will tell you this, maximize your time.
Maximize your time, don't rush, maximize your time.
And so I take my information, I put it in my, my ChatGPT or my
(20:22):
AI assistant and I say, hey, putthis into an outline form for me
that flows better. And so I'm not afraid for it to
go, no, your stuff is jacked up.Let's fix this.
I love that and it, yeah, you know what it does?
I don't just take it, I look at it.
Why did it do that? How did it do that?
What is it saying? What do I need to change?
What do I need to add? What did I miss?
What was I redundant on? Those are pitfalls if you don't
(20:43):
go over those things. Last question was do you have
any go to tactics to quickly build rapport with strangers?
But once again, you need to knowwhere you are.
So I would say take as much of the stranger out of the
strangers, take as much of the stranger out of the strangers.
(21:04):
What do I mean by that? If I'm going to go to Ireland,
well, then I want to know some fun Ireland words.
I want to know some fun British words.
If I go to England, I want to know some things that would let
me laugh and connect if I was inAustralia.
I remember one of my pastors, one of my pastors was in
(21:27):
Australia and he was telling everybody, hey, what's up, dude?
And then he was like, you got tokick the devil in the Fanny.
And he and he just meant the butt.
But he didn't realize that what he was saying was not the same
in America as it was in Australia.
And, and so because of that, he wasn't connecting.
He was actually disconnecting. And So what do I do?
(21:48):
Some go to tactics. Well, I want to, I want to
laugh. I want to be authentic.
I want to show a share a story. Sometimes I'll share a story
that makes kind of makes light of me or makes fun of me or
something I've learned from without making fun of others.
Maybe tell a joke, tell a good story that resonates with
people, that that complements what you're trying to teach.
Not because you're trying to fill in.
(22:11):
No, don't. Be careful not to use fluff.
Use content. You're not using fluff.
Fluff. When you touch it, it
disappears. You want to use substance so
that it adds to the texture of what it is you're teaching.
And so I'm always watching, always listening.
And that's what this is on. I'll tell you, I kid you not, if
you're done, you're done. If you're realizing, hey, I am
(22:32):
done with my content or I'm too far into this and and it's going
too long. Maybe you've gone over your
slot, Maybe you're losing your crowd.
Then you say, hey, you know what, guys, let me let me close
this. Can I share with you?
I can tell that that then maybe there's something I said that
we've disconnected. I want to, I want to re
emphasize the most important part of what I'm trying to tell
(22:54):
you. I know I've given you 17 points
and a couple illustrations, but today what I want you to know is
that when you're communicating, you're remembering this.
You're talking to real people just like you.
You're talking to people who want to live at the greatest
possible capacity. You're talking to people who
(23:16):
have come to listen to you and to what's in your heart.
Let them know that you love whatyou're teaching.
Let them know why you love it, and let them know that you love
them enough to share it with them.
It is not just information. It's something that you treasure
that you're opening up like a show and tell and saying, can I
please share with you something that I love and I consider very
(23:39):
precious and I want you to know it and have it as well.
And I think when you do that, you will connect better with
your, with yours, with your strangers with with the people
you're connecting with. Now, if I'm on the street and I
meet with someone, I'm going to I'm going to talk to them about
something I like about them. Why?
Because I do a lot of people don't ever get that kind of
encouragement. So if I see somebody's got a
(24:00):
dope pair of shoes, I'm like, man, I love those shoes.
Where did you get them? You know, it's not superficial.
No, I'm not going to lie. If I don't like their shoes, I'm
not going to say anything about it, but I'm going to instantly
connect. Hey man, what's your name?
What does your name mean? Where are you from?
What's your ethnicity? You know, where did you, have
you ever lived anywhere? What's your ask?
Get to know people. And the more you get to know
people, the more they know that you genuinely value them.
(24:24):
And if you don't genuinely valuepeople, don't get a microphone,
don't get on a stage, don't stand in front of them because
all you are is a content thumper.
And we don't need any more of that.
The world is filled with that. What we need is people who love
to train, equip and value peopleand to make them better.
So that being said, I appreciateyou guys listening in.
(24:45):
I'm a 24 minutes. This wraps up the before you
take the mic three podcast episode.
If you have any questions, you have a content you'd love me to
share. Man, it would mean the world to
me if you would just send it my way.
Would love to to answer those onon my podcast.
And like I said, I'll be live onTikTok and YouTube if this
platform continues to work the way I'm trying to get it to
(25:05):
work. That being said, guys, thank you
so much for being a part of the life hope and leadership
podcast. And I hope that you you are
growing and love the content. That being said, like subscribe,
share with somebody and have a great day.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
(25:25):
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
(00:24):
What up everybody, I am so happyto be on this live because I
have been working on it for hours trying to get on here and
it has just been ridiculous. So thank you for jumping on this
Life, Hope and Leadership podcast.
I am actually trying to do this live on YouTube and TikTok at
(00:46):
the same time while recording mytraditional style through my Rd.
caster for all the podcasting platforms.
The reason that today was all complicated was because I have
realized that when I was recording on video people have
asked hey man why don't you justdo video and blah blah blah
blah. So I'm like OK I'll try that.
(01:07):
Well I kept trying to do it and no matter what you do it would
not go directly live video to YouTube and other streaming
platforms. So just trying to listen to
y'all different people giving mefeedback.
I'm just trying to connect. And so anyway, I am live on
TikTok. I'm going to keep trying to do
(01:27):
this through my through my my home setup and we'll see how
that goes. But also I am streaming all my
podcasts on all streaming platforms, major platforms,
iHeartRadio, Apple podcast, Spotify is my main platform.
And I'm finishing maybe today, the third episode of Before You
(01:52):
Grab the Mic. And I have a family in our
church. I'm a pastor of a local church
in the greater Pittsburgh area and just an awesome young couple
in our church. And they're, you know, asking
about public community, public communication and pastoring and
ministry. And so over the last couple
weeks, I have answered a couple of the questions.
(02:15):
Last week was actually one question because there was a lot
of meat to it. And then today we're going to
answer a few more. So while we are jumping in, make
sure you like and share and you know whatever, do everything you
can to support it if it's feeding you, I appreciate it.
So this will be the third, the third, I guess addition in
(02:36):
addition to this and the questions that I have in front
of me today, actually two of them kind of fall in together
and I'm not that they're superficial whatsoever, but they
do harmonize. So today's question is how do
you, how do you read or adapt toaudience feedback in real time?
(02:56):
The other question, the next question would be do you have
any go to tactics to quickly build rapport with strangers?
And then the last question is what are common pitfalls you see
beginners make and presentations, talks, etcetera
and how do you suggest they avoid them?
(03:17):
So I think actually one of the best things to start with would
be that question, what are common pitfalls that you see
beginners make in their presentations, talks, etcetera.
And I would honestly say overconfidence and it now the
interesting part is to connect and to, to even walk in your
(03:38):
communication gifting if you need to have confidence, but
overconfidence, overconfidence will will nip you in the butt
and the it's dangerous because, you know, the Bible actually
says pride precedes a fall. And I, I often when I'm trying
to help people grow in their communication.
(04:01):
And, and my greatest pitfall hasbeen the years where I was like,
I got it. Well, I remember one time I was
in AI was preaching. I was actually a guest speaker
at a church and I was speaking to their their student ministry.
And there was a part where I just really felt disconnected
from the youth or the audience. And so I, I was really bothered
(04:25):
by it because I haven't really had a lot of situations where I
felt that way. And I ended up messaging a guy
who, who was leading a student ministry with hundreds, if not
1000 plus students in it. And I was like, Hey, can I ask
you a couple questions? And one of the questions was
like, what do you do when you feel disconnected from your
(04:46):
audience? And what do you, you know, I
felt like there was a lull or a gap and it was really cool.
He responded to me and he said, look, dude, at the end of the
day, especially now, I just, I just do want to, I do want to, I
do want to kind of what's the word precedent this with, with
these were we were strictly talking about students.
(05:08):
And so based on the, the demographic you're going to be
communicating to will actually change how they receive and
perceive A communicator. So if you're dealing with kids,
you're going to have to really reel it in.
And one of my mentors often toldme, if you want to learn to
communicate to the masses, startwith children's church, not
(05:30):
because they're a stepping stone, but because they're the
hardest to keep their focus. And so I thought that that was
really cool. I thought that was a very
interesting thought. It's like you, you should be
sharpening your communication skills if you believe in what
you're teaching, what you're saying.
And So what are common pitfalls for people who are beginning and
(05:52):
learning how to present, how to communicate well?
Arrogance, pride. And there was a lot of time
where I don't need to listen. So watch other communicators in
all forms. I forget who was actually a
pastor from Alabama, Pastor Elaine Strands.
He said to me one time, read theTed Talk book.
And I was like, I'm so mad because Ted Talk, I think you
have to be like 18 minutes or something.
(06:13):
It's extremely confined. But the whole art of what
they're trying to teach you is to cut away the fat.
And a lot of people say a lot, but they're saying very little.
You know, I grew up around some church communities where an hour
message could be consolidated into like 20 minutes if all the
hoop hooping and hollering wouldjust, and I'm not, I'm not
(06:36):
trying to diss nobody. That's not, that's not the point
of my platforms. But there's just a lot of, and,
and it's like, dude, if you would just stop doing that, you
know what I mean? What is a common pitfall for a
beginner? Talk to people the way you talk
to people, talk to people the way you talk to people.
I, I think it's important whether I'm talking through
(06:57):
TikTok or through a, a, a, a radio or through a, a camera or,
or face to face people. I love that saying people don't
care how much you know until they know how much you care.
And I think it's Pastor Craig Rochelle always talks about, you
know, people, the people want you to be real.
And so I think when you're communicating, one of the
greatest pitfalls is you trying to step into some persona,
(07:22):
putting a mask on, be you. Also be humble.
Also learn from others. Also practice, practice,
practice communicating. I get in, I get nervous.
No matter what, no matter how often I communicate, there's
always a part of me that goes, hey, like this, I don't want to
say something wrong. I don't I don't want to hurt
anybody's feelings. I don't I mean I will hurt
(07:45):
feelings. I don't intend.
I don't it's not intentional, but some of the pitfalls would
be thinking, you know, thinking you are.
The Bible says thinking that you're higher than you are.
You really just need to stay calm, be humble, talk to people,
keep your composure, don't. What are some pitfalls allowing
a hiccup to become a trip up? And if you if you get
(08:09):
distracted, just be honest. Oh my gosh, guys, I'm sorry,
just got distracted. Here we are.
Get back to your point. But those are those are some of
the biggest pitfalls. And I think the greatest is what
I said earlier is just pride andnot learning from other people.
Stay humble, man, Stay growing. And so that kind of brings me
into like, how do you address audience feedback in real time?
(08:33):
Well, I love to engage. And so I believe that there's a
few different factors to communication.
Number one, just because you're communicating, just because you
think you're communicating doesn't mean you are.
That's really important. Just because you're talking
doesn't mean people are listening.
Just because you're saying it doesn't mean people understand
(08:54):
it. And so that goes back to some
pitfalls, but how do you adjust or adapt?
How do you read your audience? You know, are they moving?
Are they laughing? Are they yawning?
Are they checked out? Are they?
And now you got to be careful because 20 years ago was a lot
different than today. Because if you're communicating
to a crowd of people and they'relooking at their phone, they
might be recording you, they might be taking notes, they
(09:16):
might be really listening. And it's easy to feel like
people aren't listening to you because they might be looking
distracted. But we live in a distracted
society and sometimes the very things that are distracting us
are the very tools we have to capture things.
So I look at our crowd, I try not to be careful.
(09:37):
Some pitfalls kind of get in theway of, of connecting with your
audience, which is doing too much pacing, too much fidgeting,
too much doing the same motions over and over again.
I see people and you know, one of the one of the things that I
watch when I watch communicatorsis they say like work.
They say work your crowd. And what they mean by that is
(10:01):
get around the room. But some people do that so
meticulously that they do it monotonously.
Does that make sense? So they're so intentional about
connecting with the audience that you'll watch people and
they literally look like a, a crazy bird that just slides from
end to end of its little perch. You ever seen a bird do that?
(10:22):
They just go back and forth, back and forth.
And so you're actually like, in a way, hypnotizing or lulling
your, your crowd to sleep. If people, I want you to
remember this. If people sat in a seat to
listen to you talk or share or communicate or preach or
encourage, you've already got a part of their heart.
(10:44):
They've already offered you a part of who they are and where
they are. And so be careful that you don't
get so overwhelmed with the people that are looking at you
and talking to you that you allow it to derail your
intention. So I'm reading my audience.
I hey, if I see people are kind of falling asleep, if they're
(11:04):
like they're, they're nodding out, I might do something really
dressed Bam, like something realloud to give them a, a jump or a
or a pulse in their heart. People sometimes need that.
I get tired, dude. There's times where I'm like
woozing out in a in a room and Idon't want to be.
So just because people are falling asleep doesn't mean it's
(11:25):
you. It might be you.
Be careful that you don't alwayssay it's not, but but they might
just need a jolt. I I try to connect with people.
Where are you? That's important.
I remember it was a from a Red Sock quote or a story from Kari
jokes. She's a Christian worship
artist, singer, worship leader. And she was talking about how in
(11:46):
some regions when she would leadworship, people would be very,
very exuberant and expressive. And then other regions she would
go and it was like, it's just like night and day difference in
the reaction of the quote UN quote crowd.
And she took that personal untilafter a night of worship, people
came up and they're like, man, Iwas really moved today and I'm
(12:08):
so grateful you came. You helped me experience God.
And she's like, wow, I would have never have known.
My one of my pastors told me this before.
And this was at his error that he that he shared this.
He was a guest speaker at a church and he was preaching
some, some, some, I mean, just real passionate, real fired up
(12:29):
and very, very deep biblical content.
And so when he was done, he was like, I preached.
I preached fine, you know, and he thought he was killing it.
And so he goes up to his pastor,his mentor, and he goes, hey
man, did you see how well I did?He said, son, don't preach for
reaction. Preach for revelation.
(12:50):
Preach and teach people not for how they will respond.
Teach them on how they will receive and change the way they
live and think like Romans chapter 12.
That's what Romans 12 calls us to do, to change the way we live
and act and think. And you, we do that through the
(13:10):
enlightening of the word of God.We're called to preach the word
of God. So you might be an actor, an
actress, dude, if, if you're an actor and people aren't like if
you're a comedian and people aren't laughing, you might need
to step away from your content and do some connection time.
You know, my wife and I went to a comedy show, an improv comedy
(13:33):
show. I kid you not.
It was a room full of people in a little bar restaurant.
We were in the restaurant side. The bar was on the other side of
the wall. And there was all these
comedians and people in this room.
Well, these people would come upand they would do their bit.
They, they sucked. They were the worst comedians
I've ever heard in my entire life.
(13:54):
But what my wife and I realized was that every single one of
them, when they were done, they went over to the bar and they
left all the other comedians that were there to watch them.
They left them all alone. By the end of the night, there
was like 2 comedians left. We realized my wife and I were
the only non comedians in this whole improv and I was really
bummed out. And I think that that was a
pitfall for every one of these comedians.
(14:17):
You, if you're growing and you're trying to get better, you
should also be there for others and you should be helping other
people grow in their gifts and talents.
It's so easy in this world to call people dumb and to to say
people are idiots. Oh my God, they don't know, you
know, No, these guys were terrible.
They were terrible comedians. And honestly, a big part, I
(14:37):
think of the reason why they weren't very good was because
they didn't stick around to ask questions.
They didn't stick around to learn.
They should have come over to other comedians.
Hey, man, what could I have donebetter?
Sometimes you got to throw the content out.
Some of my favorite comedic bitsare the impromptu ones when
you're not doing your bit, when you're not sticking to your
(14:58):
immediate content. Now, I'm a pastor, so I'm
preaching the word of God. And no matter how much I bring
comedy and just into it, I have no freedom or right to step away
from the Word of God. Everything I do goes back to the
word of God. I don't have a right to make it
my own. I don't have a right to change
it. But if you're a communicator and
you're going to be teaching on the anatomy of the body, people
(15:21):
aren't connecting. All right, everybody stand up.
All right. Where's your knee bone?
Where's your elbow bone? All right.
You know, where's your, where's your nose?
Where's you know? OK, Yeah, we get it.
The knee bones connected to that.
I would have everybody doing therobot.
All right? That's your You know, I would
start talking and sharing, get them moving, get them laughing,
and then sit them back down and get back to your content.
Why? Because sometimes you just got
(15:41):
to break up the monotony. You got to break in.
This is the same in church. We got to break up the
religiosity. Sometimes it's got to be this
way. You got to say it this way.
I don't got to say it any freaking way.
I just got to make sure I say itaccording to the word of God.
And so, so I'm reading and I'm watching and I'm adapting in
real time. How do you do it?
A lot of practice, a lot of practice.
(16:03):
And, and also remember that pending on what it is you're
trying to communicate at, you know, OK, OK, let's just put it
this way. If I felt like I disconnected, I
remember one of one of my, one of my, one of the spiritual son
in my life. He he was preaching and I told
him it was his first time. I think maybe maybe a handful of
(16:24):
times, but this is one of the first times he that he taught
the longest. It wasn't just a share, but it
was really he had to, he actually had the service was
really funny because when he wasdone, he was like, OK, I'm done.
And he just like looked at the worship team and gave the mic
and he's like, are you guys going to sing a song now?
And, and I came up and I grabbedthe mic.
I said, man, it wasn't that awesome.
(16:44):
He did so great. I said, rough landing.
But hey, it doesn't matter. You know, we made it.
We got where we were going and we laughed about it.
And we, we, we, and it wasn't making fun of him.
Be careful. We're not making fun of people.
We're we're letting them learn. We're letting them, we're
letting them try. We're letting them fly, we're
letting them grow. And and so we use laughter to
(17:07):
get over those awkward moments. Hey guys, I just forgot what I
was saying. Help me, help me, help me.
Oh my gosh, where would I be without you guys?
Thank God. This isn't just a one way
communication. And that's I think a big part of
connecting with your audience. Now, obviously in every
environment, you're not going tobe able to have the opportunity
to get real time feedback. But I would beg to differ that
(17:28):
you can't do it more often than you would believe.
The greatest way to connect withyour with your audience is to
remember that they're there withyou.
Be careful that you get arrogantand think they're there for you.
If someone comes to learn about selling houses, being a better
salesman, managing a business, leading a family, serving the
(17:52):
Lord, pastoring a church, they're there with you.
They want to be connected. So now I do this and I don't
necessarily recommend it. Sometimes I'll, I'll, I'll say a
name like at church, I'm like, hey, you know, and I'll call
somebody, call somebody's name out while I'm, and because I'll
see them and I want them to knowI see you.
(18:13):
I know you're here connecting with, I want you to know I love
you. I value you.
And I think that that's a pitfall.
If you're just in it to make money or to get in, to get in
front of people, I don't care what it is.
There was a, a quote from an author I read in my 20s and he
said, don't focus on money, focus on people and money will
follow. Help people, heal people, coach
(18:37):
people, love people, push them forward, be a support for them.
When you do that, there's, there's provisionary resource
because you're, you're actually valuing people.
If you value money, that's all you'll ever have.
You value people, you'll be richer than you've ever
imagined. And I'm not referring to money.
So how do you, how do I do that?Well, you do it with a lot of
(18:58):
practice. You do it with patience.
What's a pitfall? Slow down.
The point is not to get the content out.
The point is to get the content in.
Now, in a Ted Talk, you have so much time and you're not allowed
to go over that. So you know you need to get that
content out. But the goal is to get the
(19:20):
content in so good notes, good practice.
I talked about it a couple weeksago.
I utilized my resources. I will take my notes my sermon.
I did not do well in sermon prepin Bible college.
Not that my sermon content wasn't there.
The based on how they wanted my content outlined.
(19:40):
I did not fare well in that regard.
Now I I Platt passed with flyingflying colors in preaching lab
man, they're like, wow, the content was there.
I didn't see that in your notes.The content was there.
It didn't make sense. What's in the outline?
Well, of course it didn't make sense in the outline.
My brain is different than many,many people's and how it fires
and and goes off. I see in pictures and themes and
(20:00):
and colors and and, and expressions I don't necessarily
see in orders and lists. So now I realize I got to get
better at that to make sure I'm maximizing.
And I will tell you this, maximize your time.
Maximize your time, don't rush, maximize your time.
And so I take my information, I put it in my, my ChatGPT or my
(20:22):
AI assistant and I say, hey, putthis into an outline form for me
that flows better. And so I'm not afraid for it to
go, no, your stuff is jacked up.Let's fix this.
I love that and it, yeah, you know what it does?
I don't just take it, I look at it.
Why did it do that? How did it do that?
What is it saying? What do I need to change?
What do I need to add? What did I miss?
What was I redundant on? Those are pitfalls if you don't
(20:43):
go over those things. Last question was do you have
any go to tactics to quickly build rapport with strangers?
But once again, you need to knowwhere you are.
So I would say take as much of the stranger out of the
strangers, take as much of the stranger out of the strangers.
(21:04):
What do I mean by that? If I'm going to go to Ireland,
well, then I want to know some fun Ireland words.
I want to know some fun British words.
If I go to England, I want to know some things that would let
me laugh and connect if I was inAustralia.
I remember one of my pastors, one of my pastors was in
(21:27):
Australia and he was telling everybody, hey, what's up, dude?
And then he was like, you got tokick the devil in the Fanny.
And he and he just meant the butt.
But he didn't realize that what he was saying was not the same
in America as it was in Australia.
And, and so because of that, he wasn't connecting.
He was actually disconnecting. And So what do I do?
(21:48):
Some go to tactics. Well, I want to, I want to
laugh. I want to be authentic.
I want to show a share a story. Sometimes I'll share a story
that makes kind of makes light of me or makes fun of me or
something I've learned from without making fun of others.
Maybe tell a joke, tell a good story that resonates with
people, that that complements what you're trying to teach.
Not because you're trying to fill in.
(22:11):
No, don't. Be careful not to use fluff.
Use content. You're not using fluff.
Fluff. When you touch it, it
disappears. You want to use substance so
that it adds to the texture of what it is you're teaching.
And so I'm always watching, always listening.
And that's what this is on. I'll tell you, I kid you not, if
you're done, you're done. If you're realizing, hey, I am
(22:32):
done with my content or I'm too far into this and and it's going
too long. Maybe you've gone over your
slot, Maybe you're losing your crowd.
Then you say, hey, you know what, guys, let me let me close
this. Can I share with you?
I can tell that that then maybe there's something I said that
we've disconnected. I want to, I want to re
emphasize the most important part of what I'm trying to tell
(22:54):
you. I know I've given you 17 points
and a couple illustrations, but today what I want you to know is
that when you're communicating, you're remembering this.
You're talking to real people just like you.
You're talking to people who want to live at the greatest
possible capacity. You're talking to people who
(23:16):
have come to listen to you and to what's in your heart.
Let them know that you love whatyou're teaching.
Let them know why you love it, and let them know that you love
them enough to share it with them.
It is not just information. It's something that you treasure
that you're opening up like a show and tell and saying, can I
please share with you something that I love and I consider very
(23:39):
precious and I want you to know it and have it as well.
And I think when you do that, you will connect better with
your, with yours, with your strangers with with the people
you're connecting with. Now, if I'm on the street and I
meet with someone, I'm going to I'm going to talk to them about
something I like about them. Why?
Because I do a lot of people don't ever get that kind of
encouragement. So if I see somebody's got a
(24:00):
dope pair of shoes, I'm like, man, I love those shoes.
Where did you get them? You know, it's not superficial.
No, I'm not going to lie. If I don't like their shoes, I'm
not going to say anything about it, but I'm going to instantly
connect. Hey man, what's your name?
What does your name mean? Where are you from?
What's your ethnicity? You know, where did you, have
you ever lived anywhere? What's your ask?
Get to know people. And the more you get to know
people, the more they know that you genuinely value them.
(24:24):
And if you don't genuinely valuepeople, don't get a microphone,
don't get on a stage, don't stand in front of them because
all you are is a content thumper.
And we don't need any more of that.
The world is filled with that. What we need is people who love
to train, equip and value peopleand to make them better.
So that being said, I appreciateyou guys listening in.
(24:45):
I'm a 24 minutes. This wraps up the before you
take the mic three podcast episode.
If you have any questions, you have a content you'd love me to
share. Man, it would mean the world to
me if you would just send it my way.
Would love to to answer those onon my podcast.
And like I said, I'll be live onTikTok and YouTube if this
platform continues to work the way I'm trying to get it to
(25:05):
work. That being said, guys, thank you
so much for being a part of the life hope and leadership
podcast. And I hope that you you are
growing and love the content. That being said, like subscribe,
share with somebody and have a great day.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
(25:25):
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
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