July 30, 2025 • 33 mins
If you're exhausted, short-tempered, or feeling disconnected from your purpose—this episode is for you.
Let's get real about why so many leaders burn out and how to stop it before it wrecks your health, your home, or your calling. Whether you're a pastor, parent, business owner, or mentor—this is your moment to pause, reflect, and rebuild.
You’ll discover:
What burnout really is (and why it hides behind productivity)
How emotional intelligence + Scripture can reset your rhythm
Biblical and practical ways to lead without losing yourself
Simple weekly questions that keep you whole, not just busy
Leadership is not about doing more. It’s about becoming more present, more healthy, and more available to those you serve.
📌 Challenge for this episode:
Journal. Delegate. Breathe. Then go lead from wholeness.
🔗 Share this with someone who's silently overwhelmed.
Change your world... start today. – Nick Chybrzynski
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
(00:25):
Yo-yo, yo, what up, everybody? Thank you for jumping in on the
Life, Hope and Leadership podcast with me, Nick Sabrinsky.
Yep, that's me. Yeah, guys, I have had a crazy
day. Really good day.
Awesome stuff. Just got off a call with one of
my pastors and friends about ourmen's ministry stuff that we
(00:47):
will be doing together this thisfall.
Pretty exciting stuff and I got a little behind on the day.
So here I am and I am going liveon Facebook today because TikTok
booted me on live stream. I don't know if somebody
reported me or whatever. So I am on YouTube today and
Facebook. And then as always, this podcast
(01:09):
will be available, not in video on all streaming platforms.
So if you have Apple, Android, whatever, Spotify, make sure
that you like and subscribe to my podcast.
I hope they're helping you. I don't do them in vain.
I do them to, you know, leak thethings that I just really feel
(01:30):
the Lord speaking to me and somestuff that's going on in the
world. And it I started doing these as
kind of a therapeutic thing, butalso at the same point to be
able to help people and their walk with God.
So I hope they're helping you. If they are like share, follow,
subscribe. I don't know all the stuff you
got to do, but all I want to do is help you.
And that being said, let's jump in.
(01:51):
So today's episode of life, hopeand leadership is I hate the
word, I hate the phrase burnout because it's, it's kind of like
a, it can easily be a cop out, but it can also be a very
stubborn mules way of, of, of avoiding the reality of burnout.
And so today I was thinking about, we'll call it hitting the
(02:15):
wall. I was, I was caring for someone
today, just chatting with them and talk to people.
And I hear this often where people like, man, I'm just feel
like I'm hitting a wall. I feel tired, I feel exhausted.
And a lot of times when you see it from the outside, there's
things you can be like, hey man,I don't like I, I, you, you
can't keep doing that. But it's amazing as leaders.
(02:36):
And when I say leader, I want tomake sure that you understand
everybody is leading you what you should be.
Everybody should be leading in some capacity.
So the reality is, is, is you are leading your life.
You should be your, if you're a mom or dad, you're leading your
kids, you're leading your home. If you're a husband, you should
(02:56):
be leading your wife and your children.
And if you're a wife, you shouldbe leading and supporting your
husband and your kids. And the list goes on.
If you're a entrepreneur, business owner, executive,
pastor, minister, teacher, blah,blah, blah, blah, everybody's
leading in some capacity. And because of that, a lot of
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times we see ourselves so responsible for everybody else
that we lose the visual of taking care of ourself.
And so I, I talked about this often, but my wife and I
practice a principle which we call 777.
So every seven days, my wife andI, we go on a date every seven
weeks, we try to go away overnight.
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Typically one of our favorite places to go away overnight is
Berlin. OH, it's a very peaceful place,
Amish town, great food, very quiet, very peaceful.
And then we have every seven months and we try to go away on
some form of vacation every seven months.
And a lot of people will say, oh, yeah, it must be nice.
And it's like they, the people who say that are the people who
(04:01):
don't understand that we do thatbecause we value our leadership.
We do that because we value our marriage.
We do that because we value the principles that God has given us
in his word. And so it's not easy to do that.
And it's something that we we forced ourselves to do.
It's something that we we obligated ourselves to because
(04:22):
we know that in the principle that God has created for true
healthy leadership is there has to be time to rest.
There has to be time to to recharge.
I actually just finished one of my assessments on physical
health and Sabbath rest. It's on Amazon.
I just released it last night and so excited it, it just
published today. But in that I noticed that
(04:43):
people hit walls and it's easy for us to look from the outside
in and often be able to see whatit is those who we love to do to
change the circumstances of their of their energy, of their
resourcefulness, of their impact.
But a sadly, it's very difficultsometimes to look from the
inside in. And so I hope this podcast will
(05:05):
help you today. And it really goes.
I always think about like Jack from Titanic and everybody still
is frustrated. He could have got on the plank,
but he was so focused on leadingRose that he didn't lead
himself. And if he would have realized,
hey, if I would just slow down long enough to realize, yes, I
do have to lead Rose, but it would be better if Rose still
(05:26):
had me, he probably would have figured out how to get on that
stupid piece of debris in the water ever.
Everybody feels when they're leading at different times that
the, the, we are running. There's times where you feel
you're running on fumes, that you need rest and you're, you
(05:47):
feel guilty for needing that. And I hate that.
And I, and I, and I said this before, busyness is not a badge.
Busyness is not a trophy. But for some reason in the world
we live in, it's like, I swear people wear busyness like a
badge. And I hate it because people
tell me all the time they'll be like, hey, man, you hit me up.
They're like, oh, I know you're busy.
And it's like, well, dude, everybody's busy.
(06:09):
We have to take time to to checkin and to love one another and
care for one another. But I want to talk to you about
the risk of, of hitting the wall, constantly hitting the
wall. And a lot of people who lead,
they say burnout doesn't affect me.
But the reality is it does affect you and it doesn't just
affect you. Hitting the wall doesn't just
affect you, it affects everybodythat you're leading.
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So if you're going, oh, I just don't have time for me, I have
to take care of my kids. Your kids are feeling that, your
wife is feeling that, your kids are feeling that, your husband
is feeling that, your team is feeling that.
And until we acknowledge that, then we're going to lead and
we're not going to lead well. And today I just simply want to
talk about, and I don't want to use the word burnout, but I'm
(06:53):
going to end up using it becauseit's it's an easiest way to
explain it. But what is burnout?
What is hitting a wall? What is doing too much?
It is when you create a sense ofemotional exhaustion and then
eventually you'll start to become cynical or critical.
This is very dangerous. And then you will begin to feel
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ineffective. And then feeling ineffective
makes you feel exhausted. And then feeling ineffective
makes you cynical. And the next thing you know,
you're just in a crazy cycle that my wife and I talk about
often in marriage and ministry stuff.
When you are living under chronic, chronic stress, there
are the Bible says love the Lordyour God with all your heart,
your soul, your mind and strength.
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Love the Lord your God. Anybody's watching this on the
chat, put it in the comments. Love the Lord your God with all
your heart, your mind, your souland strength.
I've often talked to people about emotional intelligence.
We talked about spiritual intelligence.
You hear people often, they'll talk about mental health and
that's great. I think it's important.
But people want to talk about mental health and they can't
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figure out how to get a wrap on mental health and they neglect
the spirit. But Jesus said, my heart for you
is that you would, that you would, that you would prosper as
your soul prospers. Well, your soul is your mind,
your will and emotions. So you can't prosper until this
stuff is in order. And the Bible says that outside
of Christ, your spirit man is dead.
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So if you have a dead spirit andyou're not prospering in Christ,
then your mind, your will and your emotions aren't going to
prosper. Then the rest of your life's not
going to prosper. It's a very simple dynamic.
But what we do is we want to medicate.
We want to we and I love psychology.
I think it's great. We want to go straight to
psychology, straight to medication and people go mental
health, mental health, mental health.
And it's like, dude, mental health has to be inside of a
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healthy spirit. You can't just have water
health, you need to have it in avessel and you need to have a
healthy that clean vessel. So Jesus deals with the Spirit
man, He deals with the sin and the iniquity of us, and then He
gives us the opportunity to havea clean vessel of which we can
put our mind, our will and emotions and our our, our soul,
our thoughts. And then we can start to really
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sort out what it means to have authentic, healthy mental
health. And I want people to have that.
A lot of times we're so spiritually Christians.
And I'm a pastor, y'all, I love Jesus, I'm Pentecostal.
I pray in the Holy Ghost. I got gifts in the spirit.
I believe in, in the, in the living fruit and power of, of,
of the Holy Spirit. OK, so if you're asking, I am,
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but I think Christians have too often become so super spiritual
that we're just like, it's all Jesus, brother.
It's all Jesus. And I've heard this in Bible
college. I heard it in ministry, I've
heard it as a pastor. And it's like, bro, you're not
OK. You're not all right.
Just because you love Jesus don't mean your mind is right.
I say it all the time, people I've met, people with great
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hearts and terrible minds, we got to love the Lord with all
our heart, mind, soul and strength.
So one of the areas we're going to reference a bit in today's
podcast is, is emotional intelligence.
And just because you have emotions doesn't mean you're
emotionally intelligent. Ask a 5 year old, ask a 15 year
old who's going through puberty,ask a 40 year old who's going
through midlife crisis. You have emotions, but doesn't
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mean you're emotionally intelligent.
And so when you're living under constant stress, your body is
flooded with chemicals, cortisol, brain fog, you're
missing all the dopamine of, of success in the feelings of doing
great things, all these things we deal with.
And so all the sudden you start to have brain fog, poor
(10:23):
decisions, disconnection, and and then your, your discontent.
I, I made a episode one day. Why are we so tired?
I walked into a gas station. 75%of the drinks in a gas station
today are energy drinks and thenthe rest are beer and it's
crazy. What does that tell you if that
doesn't put a red flag on for usto be like, we're tired and
(10:47):
stressed. I'm tired so I drink energy
drinks and I'm stressed so I drink beer.
I know so many people who are living and financial struggle,
but they smoke $10 packs of cigarettes they have.
I mean, it's like crazy. And we, we live in these cycles
because we don't know how to getout of it.
We're constantly keep hitting the wall.
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And I want you to get this in your heart.
I want you to know this. You can stop hitting the wall.
When you ignore warning signs ofhitting the wall, of fatigue, of
exhaustion, of burnout. You are 63% more likely.
This is a scientific fact. 63% more likely to have to take an
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extend extended sick leave. So you push yourself to the
brink because you say you can't rest.
You push yourself to the Max because you say you don't have
time to chill. You push yourself to the Max
because you say your family needs you.
But then you make yourself sick and you're 63% more likely to
have to take time off now and not even quality time.
It's not even rest time, it's not even recovery time.
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It's healing time. And healing time is different
than recovery time. If you tear a muscle, if you
strain a muscle, you pull a muscle, you can't go back to the
gym because you're in healing time.
If you stretch a muscle and you learn the limitations of your
muscle, now you get into recovery and two days later
you're back in the gym and you're able to work that same
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muscle out. Am I making sense?
We have to stop pushing ourselves to the Max now.
Just because you have to stop pushing yourself to the Max
doesn't mean you got you. You can't.
You can't get crap done. You got to get your crap done.
So that means we got to be more efficient.
We have to become more intelligent with the game that
God has given us, with the cardsthat God has given us.
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And I want this for you. So thinking strength, this is
where I see a lot of leaders ignore the signs.
And this is where I was talking to someone recently.
I said, hey, be toughing it out is not good for you or anybody
thinking that I'm strong, so I won't tell anyone, I'm just
going to fight through it. That is not good for anybody.
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Thinking strengthening silence is unhealthy.
Leaders who isolate themselves from communication or opening up
to others will destroy themselves and especially you
will become more and more overloaded.
And I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to look at
all you have. If you had a child, a 5 year old
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and they had all this stuff thatthey had to take up to the room,
you told him to clean their roomup.
You told him to clean their messup.
And you're a good father, you'rea good Big Brother, you're a
good big sister, you're a good mom, right?
You're going to see that little boy, that little girl, they're
going to have all these things in their hands and you're going
to tell them you can take multiple trips.
Or how about this? If you'd asked me for help,
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maybe I can help you. Maybe the principle of being a
good leader to get your task done is recognizing those around
you who really love you and really want to help you.
But you think that being a good leader and being strong.
And this is the problem with an adolescent boy.
Children, boys, we are the toughest.
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We, we rarely tell you we're hurt.
I remember watching the video. Little kid jumped off the top of
the steps all the way down to the bottom.
And you can tell because every boy, if there's dudes in the
chat, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
All my fellas, where you at? All the fellas know this and I'm
not reading chats right now because I want to stay focused
on on content and timing. But what I've seen was this
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little kid, he hit the bottom steps and his dad was like, why
did you do that? Number 2?
That was pretty cool #3 I bet your butt is hurt.
And the little boy toughed it off.
You know, he acted like he was good.
But every boy, every single boy on the face of the earth, every
man, young or old knew that dudewas hurt and he was trying to
play it off. The problem is, is you can only
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play it off so many times beforeit destroys you.
If you're hiding burnout to protect your image.
If you're hiding pain to protect, to protect your image,
if you're masking it on it. Look, Jesus would be I think
disappointed and would lead you to repentance for ego if if you
as a Christian try to protect your fault, your your your image
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and create a false sense of strength.
Jesus himself was not able to carry his own cross.
Jesus himself had the disciples baptizing people.
Jesus himself had them go feed other people.
Jesus himself had to lead, leavethe crowd he was leading so he
could recharge the the leader heneeded to be.
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I saw a quote today. It said become the type of
leader that people want to follow.
And I, and I, I, I like it, but I honestly think the prayer was
God help us become the type of leader that people would want to
follow. But I think let's go one step
further. Let's become the type of leader
we would want to follow. Let's become the type of person
who's authentic, who, who knows when we're tired or knows when
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we need help. I, I read and reached out to a
couple brothers today and I justwas like, Hey, I just need some
help. I don't even know where to begin
on this. And I can't pick it up and take
it on myself. It'll, it'll, it'll burn me out.
So to protect your image is never going to help anybody.
You're losing the very thing that makes you a good leader,
your presence. If you're hiding your burnout,
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if you're hiding your tiredness,if you're hiding your sin, if
you're hiding your weakness, if you're hiding your struggle to
protect your leadership image, you're actually losing the very
thing that we love about you, which is a healthy you.
You being around. I remember when my mom was sick
and it was like, man, I wish I had my healthy mom back.
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I wish I, I wish I could go run around with my mom.
I wish I could go play with my mom, but the sicker she became,
the less present she was able tobe.
The more you burn yourself out, the less present you will be.
God didn't God, He said you are the light of the world.
He didn't say you were a shooting star.
He doesn't want you to burn out.And so it's important in life.
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And I want to ask you a couple questions, a little, a little
evaluation for hitting the wall and #1 we're going to talk about
a little bit of emotional intelligence in real life.
If someone wants to put these inthe chat, you can.
I appreciate if you're in, you're enjoying this.
If you feel like it's going to help you share it, like it,
comment, chat with each other inthe comments.
I'm not going to get in. I don't want to get distracted,
(17:17):
but you guys can encourage one another in these videos and in
these podcasts. I've never done them on Facebook
before. So I'm going to go back.
And if you're enjoying it, maybeI'll continue to do them on
Facebook, but I, I didn't want to take away from the podcast
platforms anyway. Let's do some real evaluation.
I want you to ask yourself this,am I becoming sharp with people
or short with people? I got ridiculously overwhelmed
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with Poison Ivy or something this last couple weeks.
And so I'm on a ton of steroids and medicine right now.
And I had a frustrating situation today and I realized
that I might have become short. And so I messaged somebody, it's
talking to them asking, I was kind of frustrated about
something and I expressed that. And then I messaged them later
and, and, and I didn't have timeto call and they, they were
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understanding. And I said, Hey, I just, I just
want to come. I just want to let you know, I'm
sorry if I came across as too harsh.
I think my steroids might be causing me to have a little bit
of a rage feeling. And So what I, what I was
intending might not have come off the right way.
And I had to step back and apologize for that because I
want to be emotionally intelligent.
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How do you make your wife feel? How do you make your husband
feel? How do you make your friends
feel? How do you make your kids feel?
How do you make your employees feel?
How do you make your boss feel? Am I being sharp or short with
people? Here's another question about
emotional intelligence. What am I avoiding it?
Notice the question isn't am I avoiding something?
No. What conversation are you
avoiding? What feeling are you avoiding?
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Mom? I, there's someone I I love
watching movies with. I'm, I'm a big movie buff.
I love, you know, going to movies with friends and hanging
out. But it's funny because there's
certain people I can't go to a sad movie with.
If I go, hey, let's watch this movie.
I can't watch a sad movie. Why can't you watch a sad movie?
It makes me cry. What is what are you avoiding?
Let's cry. Let's go cry.
Let's go cry it out. It's OK.
So more than likely there might be.
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Well possibly not more than likely, but it's highly possible
that there's something that you're avoiding that is keeping
you from becoming emotionally intelligent.
And let's be honest, until you become more and more emotionally
intelligent, you know why you think the way you think.
You know how you should think. The Bible says take captive
every thought. So if the Bible commands us to
take captive every thought and subject it to the principles and
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laws of Christ, and we have to ask ourself, I can't take
something captive and evaluate it if I'm not sure how it's
supposed to be. And So what am I avoiding?
What am I not talking about? How about this question?
What do I feel after I say yes to the next thing?
So if I'm, I have employees thatwork for for me, I'm a pastor of
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a church and I love them to death.
But sometimes I'll be like, hey,can you do this?
And I'll go, yeah. And I can look at their face and
go, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, what?
I had this. I'm well then no.
Then don't say yes. Let me know that that's a part
of our relationship. I can't lead you down the path
of doom. So what's the deal?
I I really can't do. OK, cool.
That's not a problem. What do you, what else you do?
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Let's talk about what else you're doing.
Is there anything you're doing that maybe you shouldn't be?
Or am I giving you too much? These are all part of us working
together as a body, as a people.This is leadership.
And part of being a good leader is being a good follower.
And part of being a good follower is being a good leader.
So here's another check in. This is for your weekly check
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and I would love for you. And it's like a not weekly, but
there's like a little self checking.
What has drained you this week? So for me, our door is broken
and our sanctuary, that may not be seem like a big deal to a lot
of people, but for me it's eating away at me.
I'm bothered. People can't get in out of the
sanctuary easily. There's 2 doors.
We have 300 to 400 people that attend on service.
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We don't want people to be bottlenecked if there were an
emergency, don't want people to be stuck.
So luckily we have fire escapes,we have emergency escapes, we
have access, we have other doors.
It's not really a big deal, but it is it's draining me.
There was a lot of changed things.
The heat has been draining me. My wife was very, very tired the
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other day and she felt really bad.
Why am I so tired? I said, babe, it's 90° out.
You're probably just exhausted. The sun has a way of zapping the
strength out of you. What has drained me this week?
Itching all over my body. So thank God.
These are some physical things, but these physical things, when
you think you have to be the perfect leader can weigh on you.
And then you don't want to talk about it because you feel weak.
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Well, no. You know what?
I'm really bothered have steroids in my body.
I'm itchy all over, my back hurts.
It's hot out, OK. Now what's cool is you can
complain about it and still be emotionally unintelligent, or
you can process it and go, you know what?
Those are real things and it's OK.
I'm going to get through it. This is for a season.
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I'm working out and getting healthier.
I'm doing things to get this. I went to the doctor, got the
medicine doing all that stuff. So when you're evaluating what's
draining you this week? Oh, me and my wife haven't
talked or we haven't been intimate or I, you know, I, I
feel like I haven't seen my kidsin a few days.
Well, that thank you for that's awesome that you realize that
that trained you. Because the problem is, is if
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you don't recognize what drains you when you have the
opportunity to change it, you won't be able to because you
never accepted it. How about this?
What gave me life this week man my wife and I, we went to a
restaurant this week for date night.
It was one of the IT was one of the best restaurants I've been
to in a long time Viva La Vida in Fox Chapel Mexican restaurant
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phenomenal service Meta guy fromKiche Guatemala, which is one of
the towns we drive through when we go to our missions work and
it was so awesome to see his eyes light up when we told him
we knew where he was from and that we.
It's like our home away from home that gave me life spending
time with my wife. She looks so pretty.
If she was beautiful, man, it was awesome.
The food was great, the date wasgreat.
We had had a great time that gave me life.
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How about this? What am I doing that somebody
else could own? So today I was going to go work
on the door at the church and then I realized, you know what
that is not my Forte. And so I asked some guys to help
out and we got a little bit moreclarity and probably some next
steps. But at the end of the day, what
is it that you're doing that somebody else could be doing?
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And the reality is, is, you know, even if you if, if it's a
job, if it's a volunteer, you might be a coach for a, for a
softball team or a baseball team.
And you're like, I got to get all the balls and all the bats.
What was, can anybody else on the team do that?
Can you delegate that? Can you train that up?
Can you let other people be a part of your coaching team?
Well, they're not paid like I am.
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Do they like you? Do they enjoy being around you?
I mean, to me, if carrying some baseball bats to spend time with
somebody that I look up to is all I had to do, I would love to
do that for them. There are people who love you.
There are kids who love you, parents who love you, There are
siblings who love you. There are friends who love you
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and spouses who there are peoplewho love you.
And when you think you have to do it all, you're actually
defeating your leadership opportunity.
How about this number 4? Hope someone's writing these
down. Where am I faking strength?
Where am I faking my strength? Think about that.
Where are you faking it? That's not good.
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Now everybody doesn't need to know your weakness.
See, the problem with the world is we have this everybody needs
to know bull crap going on. And so we want to cancel people,
Christians, non Christians, and it's ridiculous people.
What, what, what, what really happened?
What did they do? What are they?
It's none of your business. It's not your business.
What? Everybody's weaknesses.
Why? Because 100% of people have
weaknesses, 100% of people. And you need to find the right
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people in your life where you can say, hey, dude, really had a
hard day. Hey, man, got in a fight with my
kids, got in a fight with my wife, man.
My car got repossessed. I lost my job, man.
I can't pay my bills. It's 100° out.
I can't run the AC, whatever it is.
You need to find the right people.
So where are you faking strength?
And this is important. The Bible is very clear about
this. Moses was trying to do way too
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much. He was trying to lead the whole
freaking tribe of Israel. He's doing all this crazy work
and his father-in-law of all people, thank God he had the the
humility to listen to his father-in-law.
His father-in-law has to come in.
This dude was raised under rulers.
This dude was an adopted son of Pharaoh.
This dude should have known how to do it.
And to be quite honest, there's things he obviously didn't pay
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attention to when he could have.And Jethro says what you're
doing is not good. Write it in the comments.
Put it on your heart. What you're doing is not good.
You're doing too much. He says you need to raise up
people who can take care of the 10's and the hundreds and the
thousands and the hundreds of thousands.
You need to take care of yourself so that you can take
(25:53):
care of them. That is so important.
It's important that you understand the power of
delegation. And I'm not talking about poop
and swoop, which is do this and I'm leaving.
No, there's, there's the values to this.
And so we live in a grind culture.
If you study Japan right now, they are at a deficit.
They have no idea how the society is going to exist in the
(26:13):
next 30 years because people have been working so hard.
They've literally been killing themselves by working themselves
to death. It's true story.
You can actually look it up. Japanese men have been working
so hard they have not been having sex and having children.
So there's no multiplication andthere's not A next generation in
equivalency to run or to handle the, the taxes and the
(26:35):
governmental things. And they're questioning what,
how are we going to exist in thenext 20-30, forty years?
There's no kids. Everybody's working so hard for
money, for the grind, and they're dying young because
they've worked themselves way too hard.
The Bible is very clear about all this, about rest, about
family, about marriage, about community, about the church.
(26:56):
And I think it's amazing that the problems that we're seeing
as a worldwide issue are all answered in the Bible and
through God's creation. So in this grind culture, you
might have developed this idea that burning yourself at both,
burning your Wick at both ends is strength and great
leadership, but it's not. It's actually self deception.
It is the opposite of God's rhythm and God's rhythm is rest,
(27:18):
not restlessness. So anyway, that being said, I
got way more to give you. But we are at 27 minutes.
Maybe I'll, I'll give you this last little bit, Last little
bit, OK, because we got to go. We got to go.
How will you, how you got to askyourself, how am I OK if I got
to slow down, if I got to change, how am I going to leave
without burning out? So number one, you got to
(27:41):
delegate with purpose. Don't just delegate every little
thing. No, no, I'm doing this.
I'm gonna do my podcast, I'm gonna write my book.
I'm a preach. I'm a meet with my team.
I'm a cast vision. I'm a work with this.
I'm a correct that I'm handle, but but no, no, I, I can't wait
until I'm drowning before I start delegating.
That's a big problem. That is the time.
Like I remember seeing a boat sinking and the water was
(28:04):
getting in the boat, getting in the boat and people were just
laughing. They were playing in the water.
And then all of a sudden the, the bow or whatever started to
the bow of the boat started to go under.
And that's when they started pouring water out with a, with a
bucket. And I'm thinking, guys, what
were you doing when the water was up to your knees, that you
would wait this long before you realize you're going under?
(28:27):
My friends, I want you to understand this.
It is not God's will for any to perish, but for everybody to
come to everlasting life. But Jesus never asked us to kill
ourselves for him. He asked us to be willing to lay
our lives down. Start delegating with purpose.
Don't wait until you're drowning.
Start training people, start trusting people, start building
people up. Start giving people the
(28:47):
opportunity to learn what you know.
I don't care if this is the classroom.
Hey, kids, we're going to put, we're going to put all the desks
away. We're going to Hey, who wants to
help me clean the, the, the chalkboard Teachers, This is
something you can do. Who wants to help me sweep the
room? Why?
Because these kids are going to have to learn how to sweep their
house one day. And they like you because they
they love you as their leader, as their teacher.
(29:08):
This can happen in every environment.
You can be teaching people how to succeed.
Now, let's be honest, in the grind culture, a lot of leaders
don't want to teach you their skills because they're afraid
you might take their job. But the reality is, is if you're
a great leader, nobody will evertake your job because it doesn't
matter what you know. It matters when you know how to
do it. And so as a great leader, you
want to do that. Remember delegation is about
(29:31):
development, not dumping the delegation.
Hey, will you do this with me? Hey, would you like to walk here
with me? Hey, would you like to see this?
Number two, set boundaries that stick so my wife and I when we
go on meetings and dates anymorewith others, we used to be out
till 11:00 because that was whenthose people were free.
(29:52):
The problem is when we would meet with people, we would be
with five different people in a week or two and every one of
them had their one night where they finally could be out till
late and everybody wanted us to be out late with them.
So everybody else is getting onelate night.
The week we realized we were getting 4:00 and 5:00 and we
were losing our vigor, we were losing our strength.
(30:12):
And so now we realize that's a boundary that needs to stick.
So my wife and I, this is a verylate podcast.
I never do them this late, but my wife and I have decided, hey,
if we go on dates with people, we have a time.
We need to be home because we want to come home and rest and
be healthy for one another. And I hope that you would
consider that don't go to don't,don't get on your phone after X
amount of a time. Turn off the TV, sit down with
(30:34):
your kids before they go to bed an hour or half hour.
Spend time with them. These are some boundaries and I
can't set your boundaries, but you can block time out every day
of your life for prayer, for reading the word, for family
777. We have our marriage Monday
stuff. We talk about that all the time
#3 build true leadership rhythms.
So weekly, what needs to get outof my life?
(30:57):
What am I not? What am I doing that I shouldn't
be doing? What am I not doing that I
should be doing? Monthly, what can I automate in
my life? How can I get automation in
this? Is there someone I need to hire?
Is there someone I need to trainup?
What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to offload?
And then annually, where is God directing me and my energy and
my time, my treasure, my tithe and my talent?
(31:19):
And the reality is, when we think like this, we think I'm
not the hero. And this is this is the the end
all of end all for this podcast.This is where I wanted to go.
I fit it in in 4 minutes. So that's awesome.
I want you to think about this. You have to stop thinking you're
the hero. It's not about you being the
hero. It's about being a good steward
(31:41):
of what God has given you. Leadership is not about being
everything to everybody. Now I become all things to all
men by doing so. I can win them, but I can't do
that all day, every day to everyperson.
It's about being healthy enough to give the best part of you,
the part of you that matters themost.
And at the end of the day, when,when it's when you're about to
breathe your last breath, peoplearen't going to sit there and
(32:03):
think about all the stuff that you constantly were able to do.
They're going to go. I just wish I had more time with
you. And healthy leadership gives you
more time, gives you more, more influence, and it gives you
healthier impact in people's lives.
That being said, guys, I am tired and this has been a long
day, but my promise to myself and to you is that I'm going to
(32:24):
try to put a podcast out every Wednesday.
And here it is. I hope you're blessed by it.
Hope you're encouraged by it. I look forward to going back in
the comments and checking and reading you guys's statements
and thoughts. I hope there's nothing really
mean in there. Like and subscribe, follow me on
Spotify and all our platforms, YouTube and and then check out
my new assessment books that I'mputting out to hopefully help
(32:45):
you grow in your walk with God. That being said, guys, love you
change your world this week and I hope that you were truly
blessed by today's episode. And wait, I got to pray my
outro. There it goes.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Sabrensky, A transparent, honest and encouraging podcast
(33:06):
to equip you through real life experiences.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Shabrinsky. A transparent, honest and
encouraging podcast to equip youthrough real life experiences.
(00:25):
Yo-yo, yo, what up, everybody? Thank you for jumping in on the
Life, Hope and Leadership podcast with me, Nick Sabrinsky.
Yep, that's me. Yeah, guys, I have had a crazy
day. Really good day.
Awesome stuff. Just got off a call with one of
my pastors and friends about ourmen's ministry stuff that we
(00:47):
will be doing together this thisfall.
Pretty exciting stuff and I got a little behind on the day.
So here I am and I am going liveon Facebook today because TikTok
booted me on live stream. I don't know if somebody
reported me or whatever. So I am on YouTube today and
Facebook. And then as always, this podcast
(01:09):
will be available, not in video on all streaming platforms.
So if you have Apple, Android, whatever, Spotify, make sure
that you like and subscribe to my podcast.
I hope they're helping you. I don't do them in vain.
I do them to, you know, leak thethings that I just really feel
(01:30):
the Lord speaking to me and somestuff that's going on in the
world. And it I started doing these as
kind of a therapeutic thing, butalso at the same point to be
able to help people and their walk with God.
So I hope they're helping you. If they are like share, follow,
subscribe. I don't know all the stuff you
got to do, but all I want to do is help you.
And that being said, let's jump in.
(01:51):
So today's episode of life, hopeand leadership is I hate the
word, I hate the phrase burnout because it's, it's kind of like
a, it can easily be a cop out, but it can also be a very
stubborn mules way of, of, of avoiding the reality of burnout.
And so today I was thinking about, we'll call it hitting the
(02:15):
wall. I was, I was caring for someone
today, just chatting with them and talk to people.
And I hear this often where people like, man, I'm just feel
like I'm hitting a wall. I feel tired, I feel exhausted.
And a lot of times when you see it from the outside, there's
things you can be like, hey man,I don't like I, I, you, you
can't keep doing that. But it's amazing as leaders.
(02:36):
And when I say leader, I want tomake sure that you understand
everybody is leading you what you should be.
Everybody should be leading in some capacity.
So the reality is, is, is you are leading your life.
You should be your, if you're a mom or dad, you're leading your
kids, you're leading your home. If you're a husband, you should
(02:56):
be leading your wife and your children.
And if you're a wife, you shouldbe leading and supporting your
husband and your kids. And the list goes on.
If you're a entrepreneur, business owner, executive,
pastor, minister, teacher, blah,blah, blah, blah, everybody's
leading in some capacity. And because of that, a lot of
(03:18):
times we see ourselves so responsible for everybody else
that we lose the visual of taking care of ourself.
And so I, I talked about this often, but my wife and I
practice a principle which we call 777.
So every seven days, my wife andI, we go on a date every seven
weeks, we try to go away overnight.
(03:40):
Typically one of our favorite places to go away overnight is
Berlin. OH, it's a very peaceful place,
Amish town, great food, very quiet, very peaceful.
And then we have every seven months and we try to go away on
some form of vacation every seven months.
And a lot of people will say, oh, yeah, it must be nice.
And it's like they, the people who say that are the people who
(04:01):
don't understand that we do thatbecause we value our leadership.
We do that because we value our marriage.
We do that because we value the principles that God has given us
in his word. And so it's not easy to do that.
And it's something that we we forced ourselves to do.
It's something that we we obligated ourselves to because
(04:22):
we know that in the principle that God has created for true
healthy leadership is there has to be time to rest.
There has to be time to to recharge.
I actually just finished one of my assessments on physical
health and Sabbath rest. It's on Amazon.
I just released it last night and so excited it, it just
published today. But in that I noticed that
(04:43):
people hit walls and it's easy for us to look from the outside
in and often be able to see whatit is those who we love to do to
change the circumstances of their of their energy, of their
resourcefulness, of their impact.
But a sadly, it's very difficultsometimes to look from the
inside in. And so I hope this podcast will
(05:05):
help you today. And it really goes.
I always think about like Jack from Titanic and everybody still
is frustrated. He could have got on the plank,
but he was so focused on leadingRose that he didn't lead
himself. And if he would have realized,
hey, if I would just slow down long enough to realize, yes, I
do have to lead Rose, but it would be better if Rose still
(05:26):
had me, he probably would have figured out how to get on that
stupid piece of debris in the water ever.
Everybody feels when they're leading at different times that
the, the, we are running. There's times where you feel
you're running on fumes, that you need rest and you're, you
(05:47):
feel guilty for needing that. And I hate that.
And I, and I, and I said this before, busyness is not a badge.
Busyness is not a trophy. But for some reason in the world
we live in, it's like, I swear people wear busyness like a
badge. And I hate it because people
tell me all the time they'll be like, hey, man, you hit me up.
They're like, oh, I know you're busy.
And it's like, well, dude, everybody's busy.
(06:09):
We have to take time to to checkin and to love one another and
care for one another. But I want to talk to you about
the risk of, of hitting the wall, constantly hitting the
wall. And a lot of people who lead,
they say burnout doesn't affect me.
But the reality is it does affect you and it doesn't just
affect you. Hitting the wall doesn't just
affect you, it affects everybodythat you're leading.
(06:31):
So if you're going, oh, I just don't have time for me, I have
to take care of my kids. Your kids are feeling that, your
wife is feeling that, your kids are feeling that, your husband
is feeling that, your team is feeling that.
And until we acknowledge that, then we're going to lead and
we're not going to lead well. And today I just simply want to
talk about, and I don't want to use the word burnout, but I'm
(06:53):
going to end up using it becauseit's it's an easiest way to
explain it. But what is burnout?
What is hitting a wall? What is doing too much?
It is when you create a sense ofemotional exhaustion and then
eventually you'll start to become cynical or critical.
This is very dangerous. And then you will begin to feel
(07:15):
ineffective. And then feeling ineffective
makes you feel exhausted. And then feeling ineffective
makes you cynical. And the next thing you know,
you're just in a crazy cycle that my wife and I talk about
often in marriage and ministry stuff.
When you are living under chronic, chronic stress, there
are the Bible says love the Lordyour God with all your heart,
your soul, your mind and strength.
(07:35):
Love the Lord your God. Anybody's watching this on the
chat, put it in the comments. Love the Lord your God with all
your heart, your mind, your souland strength.
I've often talked to people about emotional intelligence.
We talked about spiritual intelligence.
You hear people often, they'll talk about mental health and
that's great. I think it's important.
But people want to talk about mental health and they can't
(07:56):
figure out how to get a wrap on mental health and they neglect
the spirit. But Jesus said, my heart for you
is that you would, that you would, that you would prosper as
your soul prospers. Well, your soul is your mind,
your will and emotions. So you can't prosper until this
stuff is in order. And the Bible says that outside
of Christ, your spirit man is dead.
(08:17):
So if you have a dead spirit andyou're not prospering in Christ,
then your mind, your will and your emotions aren't going to
prosper. Then the rest of your life's not
going to prosper. It's a very simple dynamic.
But what we do is we want to medicate.
We want to we and I love psychology.
I think it's great. We want to go straight to
psychology, straight to medication and people go mental
health, mental health, mental health.
And it's like, dude, mental health has to be inside of a
(08:37):
healthy spirit. You can't just have water
health, you need to have it in avessel and you need to have a
healthy that clean vessel. So Jesus deals with the Spirit
man, He deals with the sin and the iniquity of us, and then He
gives us the opportunity to havea clean vessel of which we can
put our mind, our will and emotions and our our, our soul,
our thoughts. And then we can start to really
(08:58):
sort out what it means to have authentic, healthy mental
health. And I want people to have that.
A lot of times we're so spiritually Christians.
And I'm a pastor, y'all, I love Jesus, I'm Pentecostal.
I pray in the Holy Ghost. I got gifts in the spirit.
I believe in, in the, in the living fruit and power of, of,
of the Holy Spirit. OK, so if you're asking, I am,
(09:18):
but I think Christians have too often become so super spiritual
that we're just like, it's all Jesus, brother.
It's all Jesus. And I've heard this in Bible
college. I heard it in ministry, I've
heard it as a pastor. And it's like, bro, you're not
OK. You're not all right.
Just because you love Jesus don't mean your mind is right.
I say it all the time, people I've met, people with great
(09:40):
hearts and terrible minds, we got to love the Lord with all
our heart, mind, soul and strength.
So one of the areas we're going to reference a bit in today's
podcast is, is emotional intelligence.
And just because you have emotions doesn't mean you're
emotionally intelligent. Ask a 5 year old, ask a 15 year
old who's going through puberty,ask a 40 year old who's going
through midlife crisis. You have emotions, but doesn't
(10:02):
mean you're emotionally intelligent.
And so when you're living under constant stress, your body is
flooded with chemicals, cortisol, brain fog, you're
missing all the dopamine of, of success in the feelings of doing
great things, all these things we deal with.
And so all the sudden you start to have brain fog, poor
(10:23):
decisions, disconnection, and and then your, your discontent.
I, I made a episode one day. Why are we so tired?
I walked into a gas station. 75%of the drinks in a gas station
today are energy drinks and thenthe rest are beer and it's
crazy. What does that tell you if that
doesn't put a red flag on for usto be like, we're tired and
(10:47):
stressed. I'm tired so I drink energy
drinks and I'm stressed so I drink beer.
I know so many people who are living and financial struggle,
but they smoke $10 packs of cigarettes they have.
I mean, it's like crazy. And we, we live in these cycles
because we don't know how to getout of it.
We're constantly keep hitting the wall.
(11:08):
And I want you to get this in your heart.
I want you to know this. You can stop hitting the wall.
When you ignore warning signs ofhitting the wall, of fatigue, of
exhaustion, of burnout. You are 63% more likely.
This is a scientific fact. 63% more likely to have to take an
(11:29):
extend extended sick leave. So you push yourself to the
brink because you say you can't rest.
You push yourself to the Max because you say you don't have
time to chill. You push yourself to the Max
because you say your family needs you.
But then you make yourself sick and you're 63% more likely to
have to take time off now and not even quality time.
It's not even rest time, it's not even recovery time.
(11:53):
It's healing time. And healing time is different
than recovery time. If you tear a muscle, if you
strain a muscle, you pull a muscle, you can't go back to the
gym because you're in healing time.
If you stretch a muscle and you learn the limitations of your
muscle, now you get into recovery and two days later
you're back in the gym and you're able to work that same
(12:13):
muscle out. Am I making sense?
We have to stop pushing ourselves to the Max now.
Just because you have to stop pushing yourself to the Max
doesn't mean you got you. You can't.
You can't get crap done. You got to get your crap done.
So that means we got to be more efficient.
We have to become more intelligent with the game that
God has given us, with the cardsthat God has given us.
(12:34):
And I want this for you. So thinking strength, this is
where I see a lot of leaders ignore the signs.
And this is where I was talking to someone recently.
I said, hey, be toughing it out is not good for you or anybody
thinking that I'm strong, so I won't tell anyone, I'm just
going to fight through it. That is not good for anybody.
(12:55):
Thinking strengthening silence is unhealthy.
Leaders who isolate themselves from communication or opening up
to others will destroy themselves and especially you
will become more and more overloaded.
And I don't want that for you. I want you to be able to look at
all you have. If you had a child, a 5 year old
(13:16):
and they had all this stuff thatthey had to take up to the room,
you told him to clean their roomup.
You told him to clean their messup.
And you're a good father, you'rea good Big Brother, you're a
good big sister, you're a good mom, right?
You're going to see that little boy, that little girl, they're
going to have all these things in their hands and you're going
to tell them you can take multiple trips.
Or how about this? If you'd asked me for help,
(13:38):
maybe I can help you. Maybe the principle of being a
good leader to get your task done is recognizing those around
you who really love you and really want to help you.
But you think that being a good leader and being strong.
And this is the problem with an adolescent boy.
Children, boys, we are the toughest.
(14:00):
We, we rarely tell you we're hurt.
I remember watching the video. Little kid jumped off the top of
the steps all the way down to the bottom.
And you can tell because every boy, if there's dudes in the
chat, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
All my fellas, where you at? All the fellas know this and I'm
not reading chats right now because I want to stay focused
on on content and timing. But what I've seen was this
(14:23):
little kid, he hit the bottom steps and his dad was like, why
did you do that? Number 2?
That was pretty cool #3 I bet your butt is hurt.
And the little boy toughed it off.
You know, he acted like he was good.
But every boy, every single boy on the face of the earth, every
man, young or old knew that dudewas hurt and he was trying to
play it off. The problem is, is you can only
(14:44):
play it off so many times beforeit destroys you.
If you're hiding burnout to protect your image.
If you're hiding pain to protect, to protect your image,
if you're masking it on it. Look, Jesus would be I think
disappointed and would lead you to repentance for ego if if you
as a Christian try to protect your fault, your your your image
(15:08):
and create a false sense of strength.
Jesus himself was not able to carry his own cross.
Jesus himself had the disciples baptizing people.
Jesus himself had them go feed other people.
Jesus himself had to lead, leavethe crowd he was leading so he
could recharge the the leader heneeded to be.
(15:28):
I saw a quote today. It said become the type of
leader that people want to follow.
And I, and I, I, I like it, but I honestly think the prayer was
God help us become the type of leader that people would want to
follow. But I think let's go one step
further. Let's become the type of leader
we would want to follow. Let's become the type of person
who's authentic, who, who knows when we're tired or knows when
(15:51):
we need help. I, I read and reached out to a
couple brothers today and I justwas like, Hey, I just need some
help. I don't even know where to begin
on this. And I can't pick it up and take
it on myself. It'll, it'll, it'll burn me out.
So to protect your image is never going to help anybody.
You're losing the very thing that makes you a good leader,
your presence. If you're hiding your burnout,
(16:13):
if you're hiding your tiredness,if you're hiding your sin, if
you're hiding your weakness, if you're hiding your struggle to
protect your leadership image, you're actually losing the very
thing that we love about you, which is a healthy you.
You being around. I remember when my mom was sick
and it was like, man, I wish I had my healthy mom back.
(16:34):
I wish I, I wish I could go run around with my mom.
I wish I could go play with my mom, but the sicker she became,
the less present she was able tobe.
The more you burn yourself out, the less present you will be.
God didn't God, He said you are the light of the world.
He didn't say you were a shooting star.
He doesn't want you to burn out.And so it's important in life.
(16:56):
And I want to ask you a couple questions, a little, a little
evaluation for hitting the wall and #1 we're going to talk about
a little bit of emotional intelligence in real life.
If someone wants to put these inthe chat, you can.
I appreciate if you're in, you're enjoying this.
If you feel like it's going to help you share it, like it,
comment, chat with each other inthe comments.
I'm not going to get in. I don't want to get distracted,
(17:17):
but you guys can encourage one another in these videos and in
these podcasts. I've never done them on Facebook
before. So I'm going to go back.
And if you're enjoying it, maybeI'll continue to do them on
Facebook, but I, I didn't want to take away from the podcast
platforms anyway. Let's do some real evaluation.
I want you to ask yourself this,am I becoming sharp with people
or short with people? I got ridiculously overwhelmed
(17:40):
with Poison Ivy or something this last couple weeks.
And so I'm on a ton of steroids and medicine right now.
And I had a frustrating situation today and I realized
that I might have become short. And so I messaged somebody, it's
talking to them asking, I was kind of frustrated about
something and I expressed that. And then I messaged them later
and, and, and I didn't have timeto call and they, they were
(18:02):
understanding. And I said, Hey, I just, I just
want to come. I just want to let you know, I'm
sorry if I came across as too harsh.
I think my steroids might be causing me to have a little bit
of a rage feeling. And So what I, what I was
intending might not have come off the right way.
And I had to step back and apologize for that because I
want to be emotionally intelligent.
(18:23):
How do you make your wife feel? How do you make your husband
feel? How do you make your friends
feel? How do you make your kids feel?
How do you make your employees feel?
How do you make your boss feel? Am I being sharp or short with
people? Here's another question about
emotional intelligence. What am I avoiding it?
Notice the question isn't am I avoiding something?
No. What conversation are you
avoiding? What feeling are you avoiding?
(18:46):
Mom? I, there's someone I I love
watching movies with. I'm, I'm a big movie buff.
I love, you know, going to movies with friends and hanging
out. But it's funny because there's
certain people I can't go to a sad movie with.
If I go, hey, let's watch this movie.
I can't watch a sad movie. Why can't you watch a sad movie?
It makes me cry. What is what are you avoiding?
Let's cry. Let's go cry.
Let's go cry it out. It's OK.
So more than likely there might be.
(19:06):
Well possibly not more than likely, but it's highly possible
that there's something that you're avoiding that is keeping
you from becoming emotionally intelligent.
And let's be honest, until you become more and more emotionally
intelligent, you know why you think the way you think.
You know how you should think. The Bible says take captive
every thought. So if the Bible commands us to
take captive every thought and subject it to the principles and
(19:29):
laws of Christ, and we have to ask ourself, I can't take
something captive and evaluate it if I'm not sure how it's
supposed to be. And So what am I avoiding?
What am I not talking about? How about this question?
What do I feel after I say yes to the next thing?
So if I'm, I have employees thatwork for for me, I'm a pastor of
(19:52):
a church and I love them to death.
But sometimes I'll be like, hey,can you do this?
And I'll go, yeah. And I can look at their face and
go, hey, what's up? And they're like, oh, what?
I had this. I'm well then no.
Then don't say yes. Let me know that that's a part
of our relationship. I can't lead you down the path
of doom. So what's the deal?
I I really can't do. OK, cool.
That's not a problem. What do you, what else you do?
(20:12):
Let's talk about what else you're doing.
Is there anything you're doing that maybe you shouldn't be?
Or am I giving you too much? These are all part of us working
together as a body, as a people.This is leadership.
And part of being a good leader is being a good follower.
And part of being a good follower is being a good leader.
So here's another check in. This is for your weekly check
(20:35):
and I would love for you. And it's like a not weekly, but
there's like a little self checking.
What has drained you this week? So for me, our door is broken
and our sanctuary, that may not be seem like a big deal to a lot
of people, but for me it's eating away at me.
I'm bothered. People can't get in out of the
sanctuary easily. There's 2 doors.
We have 300 to 400 people that attend on service.
(20:57):
We don't want people to be bottlenecked if there were an
emergency, don't want people to be stuck.
So luckily we have fire escapes,we have emergency escapes, we
have access, we have other doors.
It's not really a big deal, but it is it's draining me.
There was a lot of changed things.
The heat has been draining me. My wife was very, very tired the
(21:17):
other day and she felt really bad.
Why am I so tired? I said, babe, it's 90° out.
You're probably just exhausted. The sun has a way of zapping the
strength out of you. What has drained me this week?
Itching all over my body. So thank God.
These are some physical things, but these physical things, when
you think you have to be the perfect leader can weigh on you.
And then you don't want to talk about it because you feel weak.
(21:39):
Well, no. You know what?
I'm really bothered have steroids in my body.
I'm itchy all over, my back hurts.
It's hot out, OK. Now what's cool is you can
complain about it and still be emotionally unintelligent, or
you can process it and go, you know what?
Those are real things and it's OK.
I'm going to get through it. This is for a season.
(22:00):
I'm working out and getting healthier.
I'm doing things to get this. I went to the doctor, got the
medicine doing all that stuff. So when you're evaluating what's
draining you this week? Oh, me and my wife haven't
talked or we haven't been intimate or I, you know, I, I
feel like I haven't seen my kidsin a few days.
Well, that thank you for that's awesome that you realize that
that trained you. Because the problem is, is if
(22:21):
you don't recognize what drains you when you have the
opportunity to change it, you won't be able to because you
never accepted it. How about this?
What gave me life this week man my wife and I, we went to a
restaurant this week for date night.
It was one of the IT was one of the best restaurants I've been
to in a long time Viva La Vida in Fox Chapel Mexican restaurant
(22:42):
phenomenal service Meta guy fromKiche Guatemala, which is one of
the towns we drive through when we go to our missions work and
it was so awesome to see his eyes light up when we told him
we knew where he was from and that we.
It's like our home away from home that gave me life spending
time with my wife. She looks so pretty.
If she was beautiful, man, it was awesome.
The food was great, the date wasgreat.
We had had a great time that gave me life.
(23:03):
How about this? What am I doing that somebody
else could own? So today I was going to go work
on the door at the church and then I realized, you know what
that is not my Forte. And so I asked some guys to help
out and we got a little bit moreclarity and probably some next
steps. But at the end of the day, what
is it that you're doing that somebody else could be doing?
(23:24):
And the reality is, is, you know, even if you if, if it's a
job, if it's a volunteer, you might be a coach for a, for a
softball team or a baseball team.
And you're like, I got to get all the balls and all the bats.
What was, can anybody else on the team do that?
Can you delegate that? Can you train that up?
Can you let other people be a part of your coaching team?
Well, they're not paid like I am.
(23:44):
Do they like you? Do they enjoy being around you?
I mean, to me, if carrying some baseball bats to spend time with
somebody that I look up to is all I had to do, I would love to
do that for them. There are people who love you.
There are kids who love you, parents who love you, There are
siblings who love you. There are friends who love you
(24:05):
and spouses who there are peoplewho love you.
And when you think you have to do it all, you're actually
defeating your leadership opportunity.
How about this number 4? Hope someone's writing these
down. Where am I faking strength?
Where am I faking my strength? Think about that.
Where are you faking it? That's not good.
(24:27):
Now everybody doesn't need to know your weakness.
See, the problem with the world is we have this everybody needs
to know bull crap going on. And so we want to cancel people,
Christians, non Christians, and it's ridiculous people.
What, what, what, what really happened?
What did they do? What are they?
It's none of your business. It's not your business.
What? Everybody's weaknesses.
Why? Because 100% of people have
weaknesses, 100% of people. And you need to find the right
(24:50):
people in your life where you can say, hey, dude, really had a
hard day. Hey, man, got in a fight with my
kids, got in a fight with my wife, man.
My car got repossessed. I lost my job, man.
I can't pay my bills. It's 100° out.
I can't run the AC, whatever it is.
You need to find the right people.
So where are you faking strength?
And this is important. The Bible is very clear about
this. Moses was trying to do way too
(25:12):
much. He was trying to lead the whole
freaking tribe of Israel. He's doing all this crazy work
and his father-in-law of all people, thank God he had the the
humility to listen to his father-in-law.
His father-in-law has to come in.
This dude was raised under rulers.
This dude was an adopted son of Pharaoh.
This dude should have known how to do it.
And to be quite honest, there's things he obviously didn't pay
(25:32):
attention to when he could have.And Jethro says what you're
doing is not good. Write it in the comments.
Put it on your heart. What you're doing is not good.
You're doing too much. He says you need to raise up
people who can take care of the 10's and the hundreds and the
thousands and the hundreds of thousands.
You need to take care of yourself so that you can take
(25:53):
care of them. That is so important.
It's important that you understand the power of
delegation. And I'm not talking about poop
and swoop, which is do this and I'm leaving.
No, there's, there's the values to this.
And so we live in a grind culture.
If you study Japan right now, they are at a deficit.
They have no idea how the society is going to exist in the
(26:13):
next 30 years because people have been working so hard.
They've literally been killing themselves by working themselves
to death. It's true story.
You can actually look it up. Japanese men have been working
so hard they have not been having sex and having children.
So there's no multiplication andthere's not A next generation in
equivalency to run or to handle the, the taxes and the
(26:35):
governmental things. And they're questioning what,
how are we going to exist in thenext 20-30, forty years?
There's no kids. Everybody's working so hard for
money, for the grind, and they're dying young because
they've worked themselves way too hard.
The Bible is very clear about all this, about rest, about
family, about marriage, about community, about the church.
(26:56):
And I think it's amazing that the problems that we're seeing
as a worldwide issue are all answered in the Bible and
through God's creation. So in this grind culture, you
might have developed this idea that burning yourself at both,
burning your Wick at both ends is strength and great
leadership, but it's not. It's actually self deception.
It is the opposite of God's rhythm and God's rhythm is rest,
(27:18):
not restlessness. So anyway, that being said, I
got way more to give you. But we are at 27 minutes.
Maybe I'll, I'll give you this last little bit, Last little
bit, OK, because we got to go. We got to go.
How will you, how you got to askyourself, how am I OK if I got
to slow down, if I got to change, how am I going to leave
without burning out? So number one, you got to
(27:41):
delegate with purpose. Don't just delegate every little
thing. No, no, I'm doing this.
I'm gonna do my podcast, I'm gonna write my book.
I'm a preach. I'm a meet with my team.
I'm a cast vision. I'm a work with this.
I'm a correct that I'm handle, but but no, no, I, I can't wait
until I'm drowning before I start delegating.
That's a big problem. That is the time.
Like I remember seeing a boat sinking and the water was
(28:04):
getting in the boat, getting in the boat and people were just
laughing. They were playing in the water.
And then all of a sudden the, the bow or whatever started to
the bow of the boat started to go under.
And that's when they started pouring water out with a, with a
bucket. And I'm thinking, guys, what
were you doing when the water was up to your knees, that you
would wait this long before you realize you're going under?
(28:27):
My friends, I want you to understand this.
It is not God's will for any to perish, but for everybody to
come to everlasting life. But Jesus never asked us to kill
ourselves for him. He asked us to be willing to lay
our lives down. Start delegating with purpose.
Don't wait until you're drowning.
Start training people, start trusting people, start building
people up. Start giving people the
(28:47):
opportunity to learn what you know.
I don't care if this is the classroom.
Hey, kids, we're going to put, we're going to put all the desks
away. We're going to Hey, who wants to
help me clean the, the, the chalkboard Teachers, This is
something you can do. Who wants to help me sweep the
room? Why?
Because these kids are going to have to learn how to sweep their
house one day. And they like you because they
they love you as their leader, as their teacher.
(29:08):
This can happen in every environment.
You can be teaching people how to succeed.
Now, let's be honest, in the grind culture, a lot of leaders
don't want to teach you their skills because they're afraid
you might take their job. But the reality is, is if you're
a great leader, nobody will evertake your job because it doesn't
matter what you know. It matters when you know how to
do it. And so as a great leader, you
want to do that. Remember delegation is about
(29:31):
development, not dumping the delegation.
Hey, will you do this with me? Hey, would you like to walk here
with me? Hey, would you like to see this?
Number two, set boundaries that stick so my wife and I when we
go on meetings and dates anymorewith others, we used to be out
till 11:00 because that was whenthose people were free.
(29:52):
The problem is when we would meet with people, we would be
with five different people in a week or two and every one of
them had their one night where they finally could be out till
late and everybody wanted us to be out late with them.
So everybody else is getting onelate night.
The week we realized we were getting 4:00 and 5:00 and we
were losing our vigor, we were losing our strength.
(30:12):
And so now we realize that's a boundary that needs to stick.
So my wife and I, this is a verylate podcast.
I never do them this late, but my wife and I have decided, hey,
if we go on dates with people, we have a time.
We need to be home because we want to come home and rest and
be healthy for one another. And I hope that you would
consider that don't go to don't,don't get on your phone after X
amount of a time. Turn off the TV, sit down with
(30:34):
your kids before they go to bed an hour or half hour.
Spend time with them. These are some boundaries and I
can't set your boundaries, but you can block time out every day
of your life for prayer, for reading the word, for family
777. We have our marriage Monday
stuff. We talk about that all the time
#3 build true leadership rhythms.
So weekly, what needs to get outof my life?
(30:57):
What am I not? What am I doing that I shouldn't
be doing? What am I not doing that I
should be doing? Monthly, what can I automate in
my life? How can I get automation in
this? Is there someone I need to hire?
Is there someone I need to trainup?
What do I need to stop doing? What do I need to offload?
And then annually, where is God directing me and my energy and
my time, my treasure, my tithe and my talent?
(31:19):
And the reality is, when we think like this, we think I'm
not the hero. And this is this is the the end
all of end all for this podcast.This is where I wanted to go.
I fit it in in 4 minutes. So that's awesome.
I want you to think about this. You have to stop thinking you're
the hero. It's not about you being the
hero. It's about being a good steward
(31:41):
of what God has given you. Leadership is not about being
everything to everybody. Now I become all things to all
men by doing so. I can win them, but I can't do
that all day, every day to everyperson.
It's about being healthy enough to give the best part of you,
the part of you that matters themost.
And at the end of the day, when,when it's when you're about to
breathe your last breath, peoplearen't going to sit there and
(32:03):
think about all the stuff that you constantly were able to do.
They're going to go. I just wish I had more time with
you. And healthy leadership gives you
more time, gives you more, more influence, and it gives you
healthier impact in people's lives.
That being said, guys, I am tired and this has been a long
day, but my promise to myself and to you is that I'm going to
(32:24):
try to put a podcast out every Wednesday.
And here it is. I hope you're blessed by it.
Hope you're encouraged by it. I look forward to going back in
the comments and checking and reading you guys's statements
and thoughts. I hope there's nothing really
mean in there. Like and subscribe, follow me on
Spotify and all our platforms, YouTube and and then check out
my new assessment books that I'mputting out to hopefully help
(32:45):
you grow in your walk with God. That being said, guys, love you
change your world this week and I hope that you were truly
blessed by today's episode. And wait, I got to pray my
outro. There it goes.
You are listening to the Life, Hope and Leadership Podcast with
Nick Sabrensky, A transparent, honest and encouraging podcast
(33:06):
to equip you through real life experiences.
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