Life in the Void
Living with ME/CFS and Long Covid and other Chronic Illness or Disability. Follow me while I explore the challenges, the suffering, the darkness and the light while living with a chronic illness or disability. Along the way I will share insights into how I survive, how I struggle, and how I STAY ALIVE. ❤️
Episodes
I'm sick of ME/CFS being compared to a never-ending flu. This ain’t no f*ing flu. I feel like every system in my body is broken and in pieces. I am mentally and physically 1% as alive as I used to be…But even if you have a very severe flu and are bed bound, the never-ending part is a huge deal…
Starting a new day with ME/CFS, with full awareness of the suffering that lies ahead and the helplessness of a reality with no effective treatments, no suport from the world around you, and no concrete knowledge of a cure; This is one of the most profound acts of courage...
This is ME/CFS. Unrelenting. Unforgiving. Never ending. You fight and fight for crumbs of life that most muggles throw away. Crumbs that are not even good enough for the dogs. And then ME/CFS launches a new assault and you are back in the trench you were in years ago. No mercy. No solace. A forever war that keeps taking and taking and taking…
Chocolate, no joke, makes me feel better than all of my huge box of supplements combined. That is, in the short term. In other words, the meds and supplements I’m taking are I’m *sure* helping me more than chocolate in a more long term sense, but chocolate…
I often say this to healthy muggles: Close your eyes and picture all of the things you do in your life…Now imagine removing 99.7% of those things…
I want to announce my new Print Store!
I have been working on putting this store together for 2 years now…The images were all taken before I became severe with ME/CFS in 2013…So it is a sort of parallel dimension time capsule of what could have been with my life. I want to share these images and possibly prints of these images with all of you! ❤️
Memories tearing like tissue paper,
Of all the dreams,
I thought might be made real,
Tearing into pieces so small,
They float away,
Into the forever night of ME/CFS…
I started eating real food again in 2024!...I have now stopped the Peptamen food formula completely, and get all my calories from real food!...It has come time that I feel stable enough with this new change that I feel comfortable telling you all. And I want to tell you because I want you to hear this story!
Will you take the 2025 ME/CFS Valentine’s Day Challenge and reach out to 2 people you love and tell them you love them and why? …You will make their day. And if we all do this, it will have a ripple effect and reach through the ME/CFS community and none of us will feel alone or unloved today.
Psssst! Hey fingernails!
Didn’t you get the memo? What are you doing growing so fast like that, not to mention those perfect cuticles! We are in total body shut down mode here, you’re not supposed to be doing anything right.
[Trigger Warning: This post is a joke]
My bloodwork never matches how I feel. Treatments don't work or make me worse. I am constantly dumping energy into seeking new treatments that likely won't work. This system has failed us...
I think of you all every day as I work to untangle the complex molecular basis of this horrific disease…I am very optimistic that soon the major mechanisms that initiate the disease will be found. This will allow a concerted effort to reverse the process and find a cure…
Link to Fundraiser
Whatever you’re celebrating this holiday season, so many of us will be lonely…It’s important when we have lost something to not just focus on what we have lost, but also remember what we still have. This is the way we can survive anything.
If we head into the Holidays with no plan and expect to "feel our way" through it safely, we will likely be in for a deathly surprise crash that could be devastating…So we need to make a plan ahead of time for how we will use our energy during the holidays…and stick to it…
A great example of how our health care system fails chronically sick people: My Jtube clogged... A Jtube breaking or clogging is an emergency - it means a person cannot eat or take meds. You would not even leave a dog stuck in a house with no food or water.
There are a million things I will never do again. They just keep adding up as the years go by. And as the people around me age, the opportunities for life experiences I have lost add up too…Someday I will be a part of it again. For now, I hibernate with the rest of you…
I need to speak to a disgusting and ignorant post by someone on X/Twitter...No one with ME/CFS or Long Covid should EVER feel embarrassed by how they look or how they have to live their life, and no one with ME/CFS or Long Covid should EVER feel like they need to hide what they look like or what their life is like from the public.
Fundraiser Link: http://spot.fund/FindACureForMEcfs
Hi everyone, I’m doing another fundraiser for Ronald W. Davis PhD.’s ME/CFS research for my 41st birthday!
http://spot.fund/FindACureForMEcfs
…Since 2020 we have raised $184,000 for Ron’s research solely from my birthday fundraisers! This is incredible and only possible because of all of you…Let’s all come together and get Ron the supplies he needs to do these critical experiments that are honing in closer and cl...
It says a lot about the unique and widely misunderstood challenges that ME/CFS and Long Covid patients face that there could not be an ME/CFS Olympics. Because if we tried to compete and push the physical limits of our bodies like that, all the winners would simply be dead…
No one ever sees the world of color that lives inside of me because the black void doesn’t let it out. I feel it, smell it, taste it. I exist there in every moment of my life. But the only thing anyone ever sees are the bits of dust of a broken down machine…When the world of color and light shines, this second world coughs and flounders and lays down a blanket of death…
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