November 3, 2025 • 26 mins
We unpack time poverty, the invisible squeeze that steals discretionary hours and erodes health, and map the cultural and structural drivers that push it hardest onto women. We share practical tools to buy back time, protect sleep, and keep prevention easy.
• clear definition of time poverty and discretionary time
• examples of unpaid labor and invisible workload
• health impacts including stress, anxiety and decision fatigue
• gender norms and how roles shape expectations
• structural drivers like long commutes and rigid schedules
• remote work, meeting times and workplace design
• practical fixes for sleep, batching and automation
• micro workouts, walking meetings and time blocking
• cutting context switching and batching messages
• prevention on autopilot with digital health tools
As always, live your life on 10. Your 10.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:03):
Hello and welcome to Life on 10.
Hello, friends.
Hello, family, hello world.
It is Angela and I am here withmy lovely co-host, Vanessa.
Hi guys, how is everyone doing?
I am hoping that everyone isliving their life on 10.
(00:25):
Yes.
Whatever that may look like.
So today, super excited aboutthis topic that Vanessa is going
to introduce.
I want to hear all about it.
And I will chime in when I feelcompelled.
Soon I feel compelled.
SPEAKER_00 (00:47):
No, you know, I I just was I was thinking about
you know all the things there'swe always we always kind of talk
on the show about you knowdifferent ways or uh you know
things that you could do to makemake yourself healthy or trying
to help crack myths orsomething, right?
Like we always we we like tohave you know some type of
(01:08):
event, but we also have talkedabout ways in which sometimes I
think um women aredisproportionately affected by
certain things.
And one of them was this conceptof time poverty.
And I had never heard of thisbefore.
I think about I thought it was asuper intriguing I when you
(01:29):
think about it, you're like, ohyeah, I totally get what you're
talking about.
But time poverty is a look at,let's look at your 24 hours in a
day, right?
There's only 24 hours in a dayfor you to live your life.
So you've got 24 hours.
You're let's say you're gettinga good night's sleep.
You're sleeping eight of thosehours, right?
(01:51):
That that would be amazing ifyou're sleeping eight of those
hours.
SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
Amazing.
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
I now now I I apparently have an amazing sleep
because I I do sleep aboutseven, eight hours every night.
Like I make it a priority forme.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
But that's awesome.
Not everybody does that.
I get wait till you go throughmenopause.
SPEAKER_00 (02:06):
Okay, there I have something to look forward to,
right?
Go ahead.
Um, so you've got that.
You have you're sleeping.
So there you've knocked eighthours out of your day, right?
Then it's time to wake up.
And depending on your situationin life, if you're a young, you
know, 19-year-old collegestudent living footloose and
(02:28):
fancy-free, completely differentsituation, right?
Time poverty isn't really athing for you.
But if you're a 45-year-old momwith two and a half kids and,
you know, a variety of things,or let's say you're not a mom.
Let's say you're a daughterwho's helping to manage aging
(02:49):
parents, or you have a very, youknow, high-level stress job, or
let's say you don't have a job,and let's say every day you are
living paychecked, or you know,you're you're struggling to find
work, right?
Or you have three jobs, and youhave the unpaid work of laundry,
(03:10):
doing the dishes, cleaning thetoilets, making sure that
somebody gets to soccerpractice, making sure that
so-and-so gets their medicationspicked up, right?
All of the things that you don'tget paid to do, but that there
are some human beings out therethat do get paid to do.
They're called personalassistants, maids, chefs,
chauffeurs, you name it, all thethings that we do in our
(03:31):
families, they get other peopleget paid to do them.
And so it's just looking at allof that stuff that is uh leading
to this concept of time poverty,which is a chronically lacking
discretionary time.
(03:52):
So, what's discretionary time?
Yeah, discretionary time is thetime for you to be you, the time
for you to read that book aboutvampires and sexy ladies, if
that's your thing, right?
Or to um practice yoga or topractice mindfulness in some
way, meditate, go for a runbecause you want to get more
(04:15):
healthy, do some yogastretching, what whatever it is
that you want to do, learn howto paint, sleep more, right?
Like whatever it is that youwant to do, if you have all of
these other things that areeating up your life between job
and whatever, that's what timepoverty is.
(04:36):
It's it's people who don't havediscretionary time to do what
they want and need to do.
SPEAKER_01 (04:42):
So, how does one you know rectify that?
How do you correct that?
What are some of the things thatyou can do?
Um, because I could I just I'mpicturing, you know, you talked
about women.
So I'm picturing women and whohave full-time, very demanding
(05:04):
jobs and may have children aswell.
And they're doing all thethings, you know, they're coming
home.
Uh I'm gonna give you a perfectexample.
I had just had a flashback.
My mom was a kindergartenteacher when she started off,
and she had three little girlsat the time, and I can remember
(05:26):
her coming home from teachingschool, changing her clothes,
and going straight into thekitchen and start cooking.
Yeah.
And after the cook, and then itwas the three girls, right?
So she was cooking, um,monitoring the homework, yeah.
(05:47):
Everybody eats dinner, andeveryone is prep and ready for
bed, everyone's in bed, and sheis the last person to lay her
head down because she's preppingfor the next day.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Because she knows how bad the next day is gonna be
if she doesn't.
SPEAKER_01 (06:09):
Exactly.
So, where was her time?
Yeah, you know, I'm just like,when did she have time to
breathe?
To good question.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Maybe she parked her car on the way home.
Maybe it only took 10 minutes toget home, but it really took 20
because she sat in a parking lotand breathed or cried for 20
minutes.
Who knows, right?
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
But that is an example of time party.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
That is an that is an exact, and so but before we
get into what to do about it,why does it matter?
Right.
So if you look at the how howtime poverty affects health, it
affects your mental health.
I mean, number one, if you arechronically stressed and you are
you don't have the time tounwind or to do the things that
(06:57):
help make you you, right?
You're it's gonna, it's gonnaaffect your stress, it's gonna
affect your mental health.
It's gonna lead to higherstress, anxiety, depressive
symptoms, um, things likedecision fatigue, irritability,
and just kind of a lowercognitive bandwidth.
What does that mean?
Well, you know, at the end ofthe day, when one of your kids
(07:19):
walks, like it's it's the end ofyour day, right?
Like you've done it all, you'vesolved all the world's problems,
you've made the dinner, you'vedone the homework, you've done
everything.
And then they ask you that onelast question, and your brain's
like, nope, I'm done.
Cannot come up with anythingeven remotely helpful.
And they end up the next day,you know, you because of that
(07:42):
answer that didn't go well, theywore a shirt to school that they
shouldn't have worn.
Or they you you set them up fora play date that wasn't supposed
to happen, or you know what Imean?
Like you just don't have thebandwidth to make the decisions
anymore.
That happens, and that and thathappens to people.
And I'm not trying to say itdoesn't happen to men.
unknown (08:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
By any means.
There are plenty of men whowhere the roles are reversed,
they are the primary bread,they're they they don't have or
they don't have a partner,they're single dads, they're
whatever.
It's just that the reason whyit's this is sticking out more
for women is because societallywomen are expected to do these
things.
It's like, you know, when myhusband would take my children
(08:25):
out to the store, people wouldbe like, Oh, how cute your
babysitting, the kids, and itwould make him so mad.
SPEAKER_01 (08:31):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Because he's like, No, I'm raising them.
And I'm getting, I'm foragingfor sustenance.
Like, I'm doing everything thatthat mom over there pushing the
kid and the snotty one, and he'slike, I'm doing the same thing,
and no one's given her afreaking parade.
Right?
Oh, yeah, that's so that's athat's a perfect Robert.
(08:55):
Exactly.
Like, no, I'm raising them.
Yeah, this is not, you know, whydon't you ask my wife?
She she she sees them every oncein a while.
Because Robert raised thesekids, he spent the majority of
the time with our children.
There's I'm gonna give that maneverything that he is due.
Yes, um, yes, and obviously Ican't.
SPEAKER_01 (09:13):
So here, so but so here's the thing.
What you just said, I'm gonnagive him everything that he is
due.
How many men reverse the rolewho work outside the home?
They're you know, they're thedominant breadwinner.
Yeah, and the mom is home doingall the things.
(09:35):
I just wonder how many men holdthat whole concept that you
have.
I'm gonna, he deserves it all,I'm gonna give it all.
Or are they like doing whatshe's supposed to do?
That's what women supposed todo.
I'm working, I'm out herehustling, I'm out here doing,
you know, making the money.
I'm the breadwoman, I'm theprovider.
(09:56):
That is what she's supposed todo.
Yeah.
Versus the way you're looking atit is with such gratitude and
appreciation.
SPEAKER_00 (10:03):
Absolutely.
Because he's doing all thethings that other people get
paid for (10:06):
the chauffeuring, the nanny, the cooking, that like
he's doing all the things thatif he weren't here, I would have
to pay five different people todo for me.
Yeah, so I wholeheartedlyrecognize that.
He, and it's you know, he choseto give up his career to do
(10:29):
this.
So I also recognize thesacrifice he made because in the
male world, that is seen asweakness, that is seen as
unmasculine and less thanunfortunately.
So he has to suffer society'sopinion of him that he's a weak
man who's home while his wife isout with the career and paying
(10:51):
the bills.
And the it's in my opinion, aman who's completely um
comfortable with his ownmasculinity that can say, no,
I'm a good father and a goodhusband, and I take care of my
children, and I take care of mywife, and I do all the things.
(11:12):
And we as a family support ourchildren and support each other.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
So so Robert is what I call, you know, he's an
independent person.
He knows who he is.
SPEAKER_00 (11:26):
He he doesn't need the world to define his worth or
his value.
Correct.
He's definitely he there he doesnot require anybody telling him,
good job, or he he's he's alwaysbeen very self-reliant on that.
He's kind of had to.
He's always just been, it's justhow how he was raised.
He's always had to beself-reliant on his own worth um
(11:47):
because he didn't have thecharacteristics that typical
males had.
So he wasn't all the things thata typical male was supposed to
be.
He doesn't wasn't good atsports.
He wasn't good, you know whatI'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
Like he wasn't stereotypical males.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
And and growing up in the south, oh he didn't hunt
and shoot.
He didn't hunt and shoot, hehated all that.
That's what I'm saying.
He was so for him, he never metthe bar of what a man was
supposed to be in the south.
And so he's always had to takehis own.
Now it took a lot.
He it was his self-esteem wasnot anywhere near was the when I
first met him, he had zeroself-esteem.
(12:24):
Yeah, he's built his self-esteemup over time.
Obviously, I've helped him.
I would like to think that I'vehelped him because I do he he
gets what he needs from me.
Yeah, right.
I'm the one that provides himthat love and that praise.
And I, you know, so he heprobably bears more of the I I
(12:45):
won't say that he's got a lot oftime poverty though, because
because he does not work outsideof the home, when the kids are
at school, he has quite a bit oftime to do what he needs to do
to take care of himself.
He's got lots of hobbies andthings like that that bring him
joy.
So um he does not have thatbetween the two of us.
I am definitely the one with thetime poverty.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (13:07):
However, I derive such joy from my work and from
my family.
SPEAKER_01 (13:13):
Because you're an icky guy.
SPEAKER_00 (13:14):
I am, I'm an icky guy.
We've, you know, at that perfectintersection of what I do well,
what brings me joy, what theworld needs, and what I can get
paid for.
I mean, man, it feels good to behere.
SPEAKER_01 (13:28):
Yes, yes, yes, and and it you radiate with that,
Vanessa.
It's you are such a differentperson from when I met you years
ago.
Yeah.
Like it just shows.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, I'm glad.
It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
But some of the other things I wanted to bring
up about the um health effectsof chronic of uh time of time
poverty, um, is that it leads tochronic activation of our stress
systems.
So that chronic sympatheticnervous system up and running,
which raises your cortisollevels.
(14:04):
It leads to what's called ascarcity mindset.
So it narrows the focus toimmediate demands.
You don't have the ability tothink about what's possible.
SPEAKER_01 (14:14):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
You have to think about what's what do I need,
what's right in front of me.
So it reduces the planning andand your self-control because
you're just like, I just I can'tthink about tomorrow.
I have to just think aboutwhat's happening right in front
of me.
You're in survival mode all thetime.
You're all the time.
Opportunity costs, self-care,exercise, cooking, and sleep are
the first to go.
(14:35):
So you don't exercise, you don'tcook anymore, you're eating fast
food, and you're not sleeping.
You just start to spiral.
It just spirals.
Um, and then things that arestructural drivers.
What are some other things thataffect it besides your job, your
family, you know, things likethat.
Things like long commutes, shiftwork, where you're having to
shift between night shift andday shift.
(14:57):
That messes you up.
Um, low schedule control.
So you're at a job where youmust show up at this time and
you don't get to leave.
And so any no flexibility,right?
Right.
Um, which is why in theworkplace, this whole transition
to being able to work from homewas a winner for women.
It was.
Women have been able to dothings and succeed in the
(15:19):
workplace at a level that'sprobably been unprecedented
because they don't have to worryabout the drop-offs and the
picking up and the things likethat because they have that
flexibility to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:29):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:29):
And so women have been advancing in their careers
at a much faster pace thanpreviously.
Um, there are there arecompanies that have focused and
looked at specifically how canwe make our environment better
so that women can be moresuccessful?
And they've looked at meetingtimes.
How do we get more femaleexecutives?
Why are there they've looked atit, why are there less female
(15:51):
executives?
Well, because if you start everymeeting early in the morning
when they're supposed to bedropping their kids off, they're
not gonna be able to make thatmeeting.
And then they're seen as notbeing dedicated as the man whose
wife is dropping them off.
Yes, not as serious, not asserious, not so just by shifting
the meeting times, someorganizations have found that
they've been able to engagewomen more and they can
(16:13):
participate more.
So it there's just so many waysin which an offering appropriate
maternity leave support, on-sitedaycares, yes, um, lactation
rooms that are you know safe andand comfortable and stress-free.
These are the things that we cando in society to make it so that
women are more successful atwork.
Um, but that does not addressthe the whole time poverty
(16:36):
concept.
So what do you think we can do?
SPEAKER_01 (16:38):
What can we do?
Exactly.
Well, you're like, what we got,we gotta figure out.
So how do how do yeah?
So how do we how do we addressthis?
How do we make it happen?
SPEAKER_00 (16:45):
So I love this first one.
What is it?
Protect sleep like a meeting,right?
When I have meetings on mycalendar that start at 7 a.m.,
like I'm awake and I'm doing allthe things like I cut, I will
admit, I cut into my sleep tomake that seven o'clock meeting.
(17:07):
But if you say no, I I am notgoing to 7 a.m.
meetings because that's going tocut into my sleep.
Or if you know you are going tohave to do a super early morning
meeting, then you need to makethat conscious thought of I need
to go to bed an hour earlier tomake sure.
SPEAKER_01 (17:25):
Um, because sleep is that important.
SPEAKER_00 (17:27):
It is that important.
There are studies that areshowing that sleep is directly
related to your health and yourlongevity.
I believe it.
People who don't sleep diesooner.
Wow.
That's crazy.
It is people who don't sleepwell have higher risk of getting
dementia and Alzheimer's as theyage.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
Good Lord.
I take care of these hotflashes.
SPEAKER_00 (17:48):
Yeah.
Sleep.
Girl, go get on an estrogenpatch.
Um, sleep absolutely matters.
It is one of the most importantthings that we can do for
ourselves is protect our sleep.
So but I love that.
Protect sleep like a meeting.
I love it.
Um, try, but really try to havefixed going to bed times and
(18:09):
wake times.
Um, even on weekends.
This whole concept of like, oh,catch up on the weekends.
It's best to get sleep, just thesame sleep every night.
That yes, you can quote catch upon sleep.
It's never the same.
It's never the same.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:24):
I remember reading a long time ago.
SPEAKER_00 (18:26):
They said it's no such thing as catching up on
sleep.
You're not.
Yeah.
It's just not happening.
Um, batch the essentials.
So meal prep, grocery delivery,automate your bills and
medication refills.
Anything that you can do thatmakes your life easier that's
and automated, do that.
Um, buy back time wherepossible.
So put your money where yourtime, if you have the resources.
(18:49):
I realize not everybody's asblessed as I am and they're
unable to do that.
But if you have the money,obviously, child care swaps, you
can work with somebody like,hey, you take the kids after
school today on Tuesday and havethem at your house, you've got
the afternoon free.
I like it if they're eatingdinner at you know, Jessica's
(19:11):
house.
unknown (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:12):
Right?
So, I mean, and that way you'rehelping out another family.
That's building community,community.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Um, cleaning, help, carpooling,all those things where you like
you exactly said, community.
Um, move, quote, by default.
So making movement a part ofyour day.
So meetings aren't just sitting,do walking meetings.
(19:34):
Yes.
If you're gonna have aone-on-one with somebody, say,
hey, why don't we just go?
It's beautiful outside.
Let's walk and talk.
You can have a one-on-one whileyou're walking.
SPEAKER_01 (19:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (19:44):
Um a body in motion stays in motion.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Micro workouts.
I went on a tour the other daywith some people and everybody
was taking the elevators and Iwent up the stairs.
Up and down the stairs.
That's right.
I just was like, you know, it'seasy.
And by the time this huge groupgets into this elevator and
makes it all the way to the top,I'll beat them there.
And I did.
And you know, it's just anylittle thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:05):
That's so, I want to emphasize that micro workouts
are so important becausesometimes people do not work out
because they the time thing.
You're like, oh my gosh, I don'thave an hour.
I don't have an hour, you don'thave to do an hour.
Yep.
The research shows you can splitit up 10, 10, and 10.
Get those 30 minutes in.
Just get it.
Love that.
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
Get it done.
Get the walking, do the stairs.
I do, I don't take elevators, Ido stairs everywhere.
Park way.
They always suggest park at theend of the parking lot.
And then you get in your stepsin.
You get your steps in.
Anything you can do to get yoursteps in, absolutely.
Schedule self-care asnon-negotiable blocks.
Literally block it into yourcalendar.
(20:44):
So, like I have on my thing whenI'm meeting with my therapist,
that's blocked out.
There's no moving that.
And then you're like, Can youmove?
Nope, nope, that schedule doesnot.
My hair, I tell everybody myhair appointments are sacred.
You will never interfere with ahair appointment.
It's not happening.
Because I when you have shorthair, especially, like you have
to keep it every five days, fiveweeks, otherwise it grows out
(21:05):
and looks shaggy and stupid.
And yeah.
Um, so like, nope, hairappointments.
Um, but really do that.
Reduce time drains.
So um what they it's calledcontext switching.
When you switch in betweentasks, the concept of
multitasking, yeah, no one'sgood at multitasking.
SPEAKER_01 (21:22):
So, so let's pause for one second.
The interesting thing aboutthat, 15, 20 years ago, that was
on every resume because multi-I'm a great multi-great
multitasker.
I still hear people say it, andthen I do educate them on you
don't want to say that in aninterview because lo and behold,
we found out it doesn't work.
It doesn't.
Yeah.
So go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
It's it's it's called task switching.
Yes.
And every time you switch fromtask to task, you lose time.
You have to recalibrate yourbrain to whatever it is you're
doing.
So if you're gonna do emailcatch ups, just do email
catch-ups.
Just read your emails and writedown the things that you need to
follow up on.
Read, write it down, read, writeit down.
(22:04):
And then go back and do thethings that you said you were
gonna do on those emails, right?
Because, you know, and it'showever you way you want to do
it.
If that's not work for you, ifyou want to respond immediately.
But if writing an email, that'sone thing.
But if it says like, oh, I needto schedule, okay, then I'm
gonna now make another email tosend to Jessica to meet with her
(22:24):
later.
And then I've got to don't,you're gonna get off track.
Just focus on your tasks athand.
Um, so yeah, try to avoid batchyour messages.
So don't tax, don't eat likenickel and dime yourself on
emails.
Don't look at emails and thengive yourself an hour.
Ah, okay.
(22:45):
Do all those emails over anhour, then move to another task.
But you trying to switch betweenemail and this, and email and
this, and email and this, youwon't get any of them done well.
SPEAKER_01 (22:55):
And it the same thing goes with like what it's
sounds like the pomadero method.
SPEAKER_00 (22:59):
I don't know what that is, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
It is, it it's that.
It's okay.
It's blocking time.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
Blocking time, absolutely.
It is huge because we're justnot great at multitasking.
Um, seek structural support.
So that whole flexible remotework options, workload
renegotiation.
If you're if it's just too muchfor you, you need to, you know,
uh talk about what you can doand then use any community
resources that you can.
And then keep preventive care onautopilot.
(23:24):
I absolutely adore this.
If you don't take care ofyourself, if you don't get your
mammogram, missing a coupleyears could lead to breast
cancer caught as a stage fourinstead of a stage one.
Cervical cancer screening, allthe things, vaccinations,
everything, just have it onautopilot.
(23:48):
Make sure that you'reresponding.
Choose a health care system thatis good at proactively reaching
out to you.
Reminding there are plenty.
I am not going to name thembecause I don't want to look
like I am favoring anybody, butthere are plenty of health
systems that when you use,especially connect, be techie
(24:11):
when it comes to yourhealthcare.
Use their apps.
Almost every healthcare systemhas some type of an interactive
app that allows you to connectto their in to their um uh their
system.
And when you log in and sign upfor that, they these these tools
that are coming out are so muchmore advanced.
(24:32):
They allow you, they will sendyou messages when your mammogram
is due.
And when you when they send itto you, they don't they don't
only just send you yourmammogram is due, you can press
a button and schedule it.
SPEAKER_01 (24:42):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (24:42):
Right then and there.
Right.
So use that leverage what otherpeople are paying for and other
people are using.
So choose the right healthcaresystem that has those resources
available for you.
There are multiple ones.
Yes.
I'm not saying that's do yourresearch.
Find ones that have goodwebsites that are easy to
navigate and have the abilityfor you to interact with them
(25:02):
digitally, because that digitalfront door is key for you to
have to make it easy, to makehealthcare easy and accessible.
And that's what people want,right?
Prevention.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
Yes, yeah.
But prevention.
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
Yeah, because you're if you if you wait until you get
the breast cancer because youdidn't get the mammograms all in
all that time, you're gonna loseso much more time and possibly
your life.
Yeah, and it's just not worthit.
And I'm not, I'm not trying tolike shame women who haven't
done it.
It's it, I get it.
Ladies, I'm encouraging them.
Yeah, yeah.
(25:36):
And the other thing, don't bescared to start now.
Yes.
Because some people get, oh, Ihaven't gone in so long, and
they just avoid it.
Right.
Don't be scared, go.
No, no, it's never as bad as youthink it's gonna be.
SPEAKER_01 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, and it's never too late.
I mean, it's never ever, evertoo late.
Um, so that's that's how we dealwith this time poverty.
Time poverty.
Time poverty.
That's a whole new concept.
I've never heard of it.
Thank you for educating me andour audience.
Um, okay.
So we're at the close of of thisparticular um, I just lost my
(26:14):
session.
I'm gonna say session.
Session, session.
We've been providing you sometherapy, hopefully.
We in a way, we have.
So um, as always, live your lifeon 10.
Your 10.
Bye bye.
Hello and welcome to Life on 10.
Hello, friends.
Hello, family, hello world.
It is Angela and I am here withmy lovely co-host, Vanessa.
Hi guys, how is everyone doing?
I am hoping that everyone isliving their life on 10.
(00:25):
Yes.
Whatever that may look like.
So today, super excited aboutthis topic that Vanessa is going
to introduce.
I want to hear all about it.
And I will chime in when I feelcompelled.
Soon I feel compelled.
SPEAKER_00 (00:47):
No, you know, I I just was I was thinking about
you know all the things there'swe always we always kind of talk
on the show about you knowdifferent ways or uh you know
things that you could do to makemake yourself healthy or trying
to help crack myths orsomething, right?
Like we always we we like tohave you know some type of
(01:08):
event, but we also have talkedabout ways in which sometimes I
think um women aredisproportionately affected by
certain things.
And one of them was this conceptof time poverty.
And I had never heard of thisbefore.
I think about I thought it was asuper intriguing I when you
(01:29):
think about it, you're like, ohyeah, I totally get what you're
talking about.
But time poverty is a look at,let's look at your 24 hours in a
day, right?
There's only 24 hours in a dayfor you to live your life.
So you've got 24 hours.
You're let's say you're gettinga good night's sleep.
You're sleeping eight of thosehours, right?
(01:51):
That that would be amazing ifyou're sleeping eight of those
hours.
SPEAKER_01 (01:54):
Amazing.
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
I now now I I apparently have an amazing sleep
because I I do sleep aboutseven, eight hours every night.
Like I make it a priority forme.
SPEAKER_01 (02:01):
But that's awesome.
Not everybody does that.
I get wait till you go throughmenopause.
SPEAKER_00 (02:06):
Okay, there I have something to look forward to,
right?
Go ahead.
Um, so you've got that.
You have you're sleeping.
So there you've knocked eighthours out of your day, right?
Then it's time to wake up.
And depending on your situationin life, if you're a young, you
know, 19-year-old collegestudent living footloose and
(02:28):
fancy-free, completely differentsituation, right?
Time poverty isn't really athing for you.
But if you're a 45-year-old momwith two and a half kids and,
you know, a variety of things,or let's say you're not a mom.
Let's say you're a daughterwho's helping to manage aging
(02:49):
parents, or you have a very, youknow, high-level stress job, or
let's say you don't have a job,and let's say every day you are
living paychecked, or you know,you're you're struggling to find
work, right?
Or you have three jobs, and youhave the unpaid work of laundry,
(03:10):
doing the dishes, cleaning thetoilets, making sure that
somebody gets to soccerpractice, making sure that
so-and-so gets their medicationspicked up, right?
All of the things that you don'tget paid to do, but that there
are some human beings out therethat do get paid to do.
They're called personalassistants, maids, chefs,
chauffeurs, you name it, all thethings that we do in our
(03:31):
families, they get other peopleget paid to do them.
And so it's just looking at allof that stuff that is uh leading
to this concept of time poverty,which is a chronically lacking
discretionary time.
(03:52):
So, what's discretionary time?
Yeah, discretionary time is thetime for you to be you, the time
for you to read that book aboutvampires and sexy ladies, if
that's your thing, right?
Or to um practice yoga or topractice mindfulness in some
way, meditate, go for a runbecause you want to get more
(04:15):
healthy, do some yogastretching, what whatever it is
that you want to do, learn howto paint, sleep more, right?
Like whatever it is that youwant to do, if you have all of
these other things that areeating up your life between job
and whatever, that's what timepoverty is.
(04:36):
It's it's people who don't havediscretionary time to do what
they want and need to do.
SPEAKER_01 (04:42):
So, how does one you know rectify that?
How do you correct that?
What are some of the things thatyou can do?
Um, because I could I just I'mpicturing, you know, you talked
about women.
So I'm picturing women and whohave full-time, very demanding
(05:04):
jobs and may have children aswell.
And they're doing all thethings, you know, they're coming
home.
Uh I'm gonna give you a perfectexample.
I had just had a flashback.
My mom was a kindergartenteacher when she started off,
and she had three little girlsat the time, and I can remember
(05:26):
her coming home from teachingschool, changing her clothes,
and going straight into thekitchen and start cooking.
Yeah.
And after the cook, and then itwas the three girls, right?
So she was cooking, um,monitoring the homework, yeah.
(05:47):
Everybody eats dinner, andeveryone is prep and ready for
bed, everyone's in bed, and sheis the last person to lay her
head down because she's preppingfor the next day.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Because she knows how bad the next day is gonna be
if she doesn't.
SPEAKER_01 (06:09):
Exactly.
So, where was her time?
Yeah, you know, I'm just like,when did she have time to
breathe?
To good question.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Maybe she parked her car on the way home.
Maybe it only took 10 minutes toget home, but it really took 20
because she sat in a parking lotand breathed or cried for 20
minutes.
Who knows, right?
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
But that is an example of time party.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
That is an that is an exact, and so but before we
get into what to do about it,why does it matter?
Right.
So if you look at the how howtime poverty affects health, it
affects your mental health.
I mean, number one, if you arechronically stressed and you are
you don't have the time tounwind or to do the things that
(06:57):
help make you you, right?
You're it's gonna, it's gonnaaffect your stress, it's gonna
affect your mental health.
It's gonna lead to higherstress, anxiety, depressive
symptoms, um, things likedecision fatigue, irritability,
and just kind of a lowercognitive bandwidth.
What does that mean?
Well, you know, at the end ofthe day, when one of your kids
(07:19):
walks, like it's it's the end ofyour day, right?
Like you've done it all, you'vesolved all the world's problems,
you've made the dinner, you'vedone the homework, you've done
everything.
And then they ask you that onelast question, and your brain's
like, nope, I'm done.
Cannot come up with anythingeven remotely helpful.
And they end up the next day,you know, you because of that
(07:42):
answer that didn't go well, theywore a shirt to school that they
shouldn't have worn.
Or they you you set them up fora play date that wasn't supposed
to happen, or you know what Imean?
Like you just don't have thebandwidth to make the decisions
anymore.
That happens, and that and thathappens to people.
And I'm not trying to say itdoesn't happen to men.
unknown (08:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:02):
By any means.
There are plenty of men whowhere the roles are reversed,
they are the primary bread,they're they they don't have or
they don't have a partner,they're single dads, they're
whatever.
It's just that the reason whyit's this is sticking out more
for women is because societallywomen are expected to do these
things.
It's like, you know, when myhusband would take my children
(08:25):
out to the store, people wouldbe like, Oh, how cute your
babysitting, the kids, and itwould make him so mad.
SPEAKER_01 (08:31):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (08:32):
Because he's like, No, I'm raising them.
And I'm getting, I'm foragingfor sustenance.
Like, I'm doing everything thatthat mom over there pushing the
kid and the snotty one, and he'slike, I'm doing the same thing,
and no one's given her afreaking parade.
Right?
Oh, yeah, that's so that's athat's a perfect Robert.
(08:55):
Exactly.
Like, no, I'm raising them.
Yeah, this is not, you know, whydon't you ask my wife?
She she she sees them every oncein a while.
Because Robert raised thesekids, he spent the majority of
the time with our children.
There's I'm gonna give that maneverything that he is due.
Yes, um, yes, and obviously Ican't.
SPEAKER_01 (09:13):
So here, so but so here's the thing.
What you just said, I'm gonnagive him everything that he is
due.
How many men reverse the rolewho work outside the home?
They're you know, they're thedominant breadwinner.
Yeah, and the mom is home doingall the things.
(09:35):
I just wonder how many men holdthat whole concept that you
have.
I'm gonna, he deserves it all,I'm gonna give it all.
Or are they like doing whatshe's supposed to do?
That's what women supposed todo.
I'm working, I'm out herehustling, I'm out here doing,
you know, making the money.
I'm the breadwoman, I'm theprovider.
(09:56):
That is what she's supposed todo.
Yeah.
Versus the way you're looking atit is with such gratitude and
appreciation.
SPEAKER_00 (10:03):
Absolutely.
Because he's doing all thethings that other people get
paid for (10:06):
the chauffeuring, the nanny, the cooking, that like
he's doing all the things thatif he weren't here, I would have
to pay five different people todo for me.
Yeah, so I wholeheartedlyrecognize that.
He, and it's you know, he choseto give up his career to do
(10:29):
this.
So I also recognize thesacrifice he made because in the
male world, that is seen asweakness, that is seen as
unmasculine and less thanunfortunately.
So he has to suffer society'sopinion of him that he's a weak
man who's home while his wife isout with the career and paying
(10:51):
the bills.
And the it's in my opinion, aman who's completely um
comfortable with his ownmasculinity that can say, no,
I'm a good father and a goodhusband, and I take care of my
children, and I take care of mywife, and I do all the things.
(11:12):
And we as a family support ourchildren and support each other.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
So so Robert is what I call, you know, he's an
independent person.
He knows who he is.
SPEAKER_00 (11:26):
He he doesn't need the world to define his worth or
his value.
Correct.
He's definitely he there he doesnot require anybody telling him,
good job, or he he's he's alwaysbeen very self-reliant on that.
He's kind of had to.
He's always just been, it's justhow how he was raised.
He's always had to beself-reliant on his own worth um
(11:47):
because he didn't have thecharacteristics that typical
males had.
So he wasn't all the things thata typical male was supposed to
be.
He doesn't wasn't good atsports.
He wasn't good, you know whatI'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
Like he wasn't stereotypical males.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
And and growing up in the south, oh he didn't hunt
and shoot.
He didn't hunt and shoot, hehated all that.
That's what I'm saying.
He was so for him, he never metthe bar of what a man was
supposed to be in the south.
And so he's always had to takehis own.
Now it took a lot.
He it was his self-esteem wasnot anywhere near was the when I
first met him, he had zeroself-esteem.
(12:24):
Yeah, he's built his self-esteemup over time.
Obviously, I've helped him.
I would like to think that I'vehelped him because I do he he
gets what he needs from me.
Yeah, right.
I'm the one that provides himthat love and that praise.
And I, you know, so he heprobably bears more of the I I
(12:45):
won't say that he's got a lot oftime poverty though, because
because he does not work outsideof the home, when the kids are
at school, he has quite a bit oftime to do what he needs to do
to take care of himself.
He's got lots of hobbies andthings like that that bring him
joy.
So um he does not have thatbetween the two of us.
I am definitely the one with thetime poverty.
SPEAKER_01 (13:06):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (13:07):
However, I derive such joy from my work and from
my family.
SPEAKER_01 (13:13):
Because you're an icky guy.
SPEAKER_00 (13:14):
I am, I'm an icky guy.
We've, you know, at that perfectintersection of what I do well,
what brings me joy, what theworld needs, and what I can get
paid for.
I mean, man, it feels good to behere.
SPEAKER_01 (13:28):
Yes, yes, yes, and and it you radiate with that,
Vanessa.
It's you are such a differentperson from when I met you years
ago.
Yeah.
Like it just shows.
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, I'm glad.
It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (13:44):
But some of the other things I wanted to bring
up about the um health effectsof chronic of uh time of time
poverty, um, is that it leads tochronic activation of our stress
systems.
So that chronic sympatheticnervous system up and running,
which raises your cortisollevels.
(14:04):
It leads to what's called ascarcity mindset.
So it narrows the focus toimmediate demands.
You don't have the ability tothink about what's possible.
SPEAKER_01 (14:14):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (14:14):
You have to think about what's what do I need,
what's right in front of me.
So it reduces the planning andand your self-control because
you're just like, I just I can'tthink about tomorrow.
I have to just think aboutwhat's happening right in front
of me.
You're in survival mode all thetime.
You're all the time.
Opportunity costs, self-care,exercise, cooking, and sleep are
the first to go.
(14:35):
So you don't exercise, you don'tcook anymore, you're eating fast
food, and you're not sleeping.
You just start to spiral.
It just spirals.
Um, and then things that arestructural drivers.
What are some other things thataffect it besides your job, your
family, you know, things likethat.
Things like long commutes, shiftwork, where you're having to
shift between night shift andday shift.
(14:57):
That messes you up.
Um, low schedule control.
So you're at a job where youmust show up at this time and
you don't get to leave.
And so any no flexibility,right?
Right.
Um, which is why in theworkplace, this whole transition
to being able to work from homewas a winner for women.
It was.
Women have been able to dothings and succeed in the
(15:19):
workplace at a level that'sprobably been unprecedented
because they don't have to worryabout the drop-offs and the
picking up and the things likethat because they have that
flexibility to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:29):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (15:29):
And so women have been advancing in their careers
at a much faster pace thanpreviously.
Um, there are there arecompanies that have focused and
looked at specifically how canwe make our environment better
so that women can be moresuccessful?
And they've looked at meetingtimes.
How do we get more femaleexecutives?
Why are there they've looked atit, why are there less female
(15:51):
executives?
Well, because if you start everymeeting early in the morning
when they're supposed to bedropping their kids off, they're
not gonna be able to make thatmeeting.
And then they're seen as notbeing dedicated as the man whose
wife is dropping them off.
Yes, not as serious, not asserious, not so just by shifting
the meeting times, someorganizations have found that
they've been able to engagewomen more and they can
(16:13):
participate more.
So it there's just so many waysin which an offering appropriate
maternity leave support, on-sitedaycares, yes, um, lactation
rooms that are you know safe andand comfortable and stress-free.
These are the things that we cando in society to make it so that
women are more successful atwork.
Um, but that does not addressthe the whole time poverty
(16:36):
concept.
So what do you think we can do?
SPEAKER_01 (16:38):
What can we do?
Exactly.
Well, you're like, what we got,we gotta figure out.
So how do how do yeah?
So how do we how do we addressthis?
How do we make it happen?
SPEAKER_00 (16:45):
So I love this first one.
What is it?
Protect sleep like a meeting,right?
When I have meetings on mycalendar that start at 7 a.m.,
like I'm awake and I'm doing allthe things like I cut, I will
admit, I cut into my sleep tomake that seven o'clock meeting.
(17:07):
But if you say no, I I am notgoing to 7 a.m.
meetings because that's going tocut into my sleep.
Or if you know you are going tohave to do a super early morning
meeting, then you need to makethat conscious thought of I need
to go to bed an hour earlier tomake sure.
SPEAKER_01 (17:25):
Um, because sleep is that important.
SPEAKER_00 (17:27):
It is that important.
There are studies that areshowing that sleep is directly
related to your health and yourlongevity.
I believe it.
People who don't sleep diesooner.
Wow.
That's crazy.
It is people who don't sleepwell have higher risk of getting
dementia and Alzheimer's as theyage.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
Good Lord.
I take care of these hotflashes.
SPEAKER_00 (17:48):
Yeah.
Sleep.
Girl, go get on an estrogenpatch.
Um, sleep absolutely matters.
It is one of the most importantthings that we can do for
ourselves is protect our sleep.
So but I love that.
Protect sleep like a meeting.
I love it.
Um, try, but really try to havefixed going to bed times and
(18:09):
wake times.
Um, even on weekends.
This whole concept of like, oh,catch up on the weekends.
It's best to get sleep, just thesame sleep every night.
That yes, you can quote catch upon sleep.
It's never the same.
It's never the same.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:24):
I remember reading a long time ago.
SPEAKER_00 (18:26):
They said it's no such thing as catching up on
sleep.
You're not.
Yeah.
It's just not happening.
Um, batch the essentials.
So meal prep, grocery delivery,automate your bills and
medication refills.
Anything that you can do thatmakes your life easier that's
and automated, do that.
Um, buy back time wherepossible.
So put your money where yourtime, if you have the resources.
(18:49):
I realize not everybody's asblessed as I am and they're
unable to do that.
But if you have the money,obviously, child care swaps, you
can work with somebody like,hey, you take the kids after
school today on Tuesday and havethem at your house, you've got
the afternoon free.
I like it if they're eatingdinner at you know, Jessica's
(19:11):
house.
unknown (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:12):
Right?
So, I mean, and that way you'rehelping out another family.
That's building community,community.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Um, cleaning, help, carpooling,all those things where you like
you exactly said, community.
Um, move, quote, by default.
So making movement a part ofyour day.
So meetings aren't just sitting,do walking meetings.
(19:34):
Yes.
If you're gonna have aone-on-one with somebody, say,
hey, why don't we just go?
It's beautiful outside.
Let's walk and talk.
You can have a one-on-one whileyou're walking.
SPEAKER_01 (19:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (19:44):
Um a body in motion stays in motion.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Micro workouts.
I went on a tour the other daywith some people and everybody
was taking the elevators and Iwent up the stairs.
Up and down the stairs.
That's right.
I just was like, you know, it'seasy.
And by the time this huge groupgets into this elevator and
makes it all the way to the top,I'll beat them there.
And I did.
And you know, it's just anylittle thing.
SPEAKER_01 (20:05):
That's so, I want to emphasize that micro workouts
are so important becausesometimes people do not work out
because they the time thing.
You're like, oh my gosh, I don'thave an hour.
I don't have an hour, you don'thave to do an hour.
Yep.
The research shows you can splitit up 10, 10, and 10.
Get those 30 minutes in.
Just get it.
Love that.
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
Get it done.
Get the walking, do the stairs.
I do, I don't take elevators, Ido stairs everywhere.
Park way.
They always suggest park at theend of the parking lot.
And then you get in your stepsin.
You get your steps in.
Anything you can do to get yoursteps in, absolutely.
Schedule self-care asnon-negotiable blocks.
Literally block it into yourcalendar.
(20:44):
So, like I have on my thing whenI'm meeting with my therapist,
that's blocked out.
There's no moving that.
And then you're like, Can youmove?
Nope, nope, that schedule doesnot.
My hair, I tell everybody myhair appointments are sacred.
You will never interfere with ahair appointment.
It's not happening.
Because I when you have shorthair, especially, like you have
to keep it every five days, fiveweeks, otherwise it grows out
(21:05):
and looks shaggy and stupid.
And yeah.
Um, so like, nope, hairappointments.
Um, but really do that.
Reduce time drains.
So um what they it's calledcontext switching.
When you switch in betweentasks, the concept of
multitasking, yeah, no one'sgood at multitasking.
SPEAKER_01 (21:22):
So, so let's pause for one second.
The interesting thing aboutthat, 15, 20 years ago, that was
on every resume because multi-I'm a great multi-great
multitasker.
I still hear people say it, andthen I do educate them on you
don't want to say that in aninterview because lo and behold,
we found out it doesn't work.
It doesn't.
Yeah.
So go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
It's it's it's called task switching.
Yes.
And every time you switch fromtask to task, you lose time.
You have to recalibrate yourbrain to whatever it is you're
doing.
So if you're gonna do emailcatch ups, just do email
catch-ups.
Just read your emails and writedown the things that you need to
follow up on.
Read, write it down, read, writeit down.
(22:04):
And then go back and do thethings that you said you were
gonna do on those emails, right?
Because, you know, and it'showever you way you want to do
it.
If that's not work for you, ifyou want to respond immediately.
But if writing an email, that'sone thing.
But if it says like, oh, I needto schedule, okay, then I'm
gonna now make another email tosend to Jessica to meet with her
(22:24):
later.
And then I've got to don't,you're gonna get off track.
Just focus on your tasks athand.
Um, so yeah, try to avoid batchyour messages.
So don't tax, don't eat likenickel and dime yourself on
emails.
Don't look at emails and thengive yourself an hour.
Ah, okay.
(22:45):
Do all those emails over anhour, then move to another task.
But you trying to switch betweenemail and this, and email and
this, and email and this, youwon't get any of them done well.
SPEAKER_01 (22:55):
And it the same thing goes with like what it's
sounds like the pomadero method.
SPEAKER_00 (22:59):
I don't know what that is, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
It is, it it's that.
It's okay.
It's blocking time.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
Blocking time, absolutely.
It is huge because we're justnot great at multitasking.
Um, seek structural support.
So that whole flexible remotework options, workload
renegotiation.
If you're if it's just too muchfor you, you need to, you know,
uh talk about what you can doand then use any community
resources that you can.
And then keep preventive care onautopilot.
(23:24):
I absolutely adore this.
If you don't take care ofyourself, if you don't get your
mammogram, missing a coupleyears could lead to breast
cancer caught as a stage fourinstead of a stage one.
Cervical cancer screening, allthe things, vaccinations,
everything, just have it onautopilot.
(23:48):
Make sure that you'reresponding.
Choose a health care system thatis good at proactively reaching
out to you.
Reminding there are plenty.
I am not going to name thembecause I don't want to look
like I am favoring anybody, butthere are plenty of health
systems that when you use,especially connect, be techie
(24:11):
when it comes to yourhealthcare.
Use their apps.
Almost every healthcare systemhas some type of an interactive
app that allows you to connectto their in to their um uh their
system.
And when you log in and sign upfor that, they these these tools
that are coming out are so muchmore advanced.
(24:32):
They allow you, they will sendyou messages when your mammogram
is due.
And when you when they send itto you, they don't they don't
only just send you yourmammogram is due, you can press
a button and schedule it.
SPEAKER_01 (24:42):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (24:42):
Right then and there.
Right.
So use that leverage what otherpeople are paying for and other
people are using.
So choose the right healthcaresystem that has those resources
available for you.
There are multiple ones.
Yes.
I'm not saying that's do yourresearch.
Find ones that have goodwebsites that are easy to
navigate and have the abilityfor you to interact with them
(25:02):
digitally, because that digitalfront door is key for you to
have to make it easy, to makehealthcare easy and accessible.
And that's what people want,right?
Prevention.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
Yes, yeah.
But prevention.
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
Yeah, because you're if you if you wait until you get
the breast cancer because youdidn't get the mammograms all in
all that time, you're gonna loseso much more time and possibly
your life.
Yeah, and it's just not worthit.
And I'm not, I'm not trying tolike shame women who haven't
done it.
It's it, I get it.
Ladies, I'm encouraging them.
Yeah, yeah.
(25:36):
And the other thing, don't bescared to start now.
Yes.
Because some people get, oh, Ihaven't gone in so long, and
they just avoid it.
Right.
Don't be scared, go.
No, no, it's never as bad as youthink it's gonna be.
SPEAKER_01 (25:48):
Yeah, yeah, and it's never too late.
I mean, it's never ever, evertoo late.
Um, so that's that's how we dealwith this time poverty.
Time poverty.
Time poverty.
That's a whole new concept.
I've never heard of it.
Thank you for educating me andour audience.
Um, okay.
So we're at the close of of thisparticular um, I just lost my
(26:14):
session.
I'm gonna say session.
Session, session.
We've been providing you sometherapy, hopefully.
We in a way, we have.
So um, as always, live your lifeon 10.
Your 10.
Bye bye.
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