June 21, 2025 ā¢ 22 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Why does peace make some people panic?
We say we want stillness, easeand balance, but the moment life
gives us a break, we startitching for drama, picking
fights or overloading our plate.
What if your mind was trainedto need urgency to feel alive?
What if you've confused stresswith purpose and adrenaline with
love?
This is what we call theemergency mindset a
(00:22):
psychological survival loopwhere chaos feels safe and peace
feels threatening.
And, the wildest part, mostpeople don't even know they're
trapped in it.
Before we dive deep into today'sconversation, I want to take a
moment to thank you for beinghere.
If you find value in theseepisodes, please take a second
to subscribe and share LifePoints with Rhonda with someone
(00:44):
you care about.
Your support truly means theworld and remember, you can
always stay connected with meacross all platforms YouTube,
life Points with Rhonda, podcast, life Points with Rhonda on all
streaming platforms.
Website lifepointswithrhondacom.
Email lifepPointsWithRonda atgmailcom.
(01:05):
Facebook, instagram, tiktok,patreon at LifePointsWithRonda.
Don't forget, when you visitLifePointsWithRondacom, you'll
get access to free gifts likehealing affirmations, a
relationship episode downloadand even a free consultation
session to support your journey.
Let's grow together.
You ever look around and realizethat the only time you really
(01:27):
feel focused, energized ormotivated is when something's on
fire, metaphorically orliterally.
It's a pattern I see far toooften, not just in my coaching
clients, but across society.
We are becoming conditioned toonly show up when things are
falling apart and, what's worse,when life finally starts to
(01:48):
feel stable, we self-sabotageBecause peace feels foreign,
boring or even unsafe.
That's what today's episode isabout the emergency mindset.
This mindset is sneaky.
It can look like overachieving,like being the go-to problem
solver, the rescuer, the personwho holds it all together when
no one else can.
But beneath all of that is anervous system that's stuck in
(02:12):
high alert, a heart that neverlearned how to slow down, a soul
that equates love withperformance and rest with guilt.
We were never taught how tothrive in peace.
Many of us only learned how tofunction in survival.
But, sis brother collective, weare not here to just survive,
we are here to evolve.
(02:32):
In this episode, we're going totalk about why the emergency
mindset is so common, especiallyin communities that have had to
overcome trauma, systemicpressure and generational hustle
, and how you can begin theprocess of breaking that cycle
for good.
This isn't about shaming yourcoping mechanisms.
It's about understanding themso you can finally replace
survival with sovereignty.
(02:54):
So let's take a deep breathtogether and unpack what's
really behind the constantcrisis energy.
What is the emergency mindset?
The emergency mindset is aconditioned way of living where
your nervous system is alwaysscanning for something to fix,
something to fear or somethingto brace for.
It's a psychological loop thatthrives on chaos, urgency and
(03:16):
adrenaline.
And the deeper truth.
It's not who you are, it's whatyou learn to be in order to
survive.
Most people don't realizethey're in this cycle because
it's become so normalized.
In fact, society rewards it.
People applaud you for beingstrong, for pushing through, for
being the one who always stepsup in a crisis.
But when was the last timesomeone praised you for resting,
(03:39):
for setting boundaries, forsitting still and just being?
The emergency mindset shows upin subtle and not so subtle ways
.
You feel most energized whenyou're solving a problem.
You unconsciously attract dramaor stay in toxic relationships
because they keep you on yourtoes.
When things are going well, youget suspicious or anxious,
(04:00):
waiting for the other shoe todrop.
You're uncomfortable in calmenvironments because you don't
know how to just be withoutdoing or fixing.
And this isn't just emotional,this is biological.
See, when you've experiencedprolonged stress or trauma, your
body wires itself to operate infight-or-flight mode.
That means your sense of safetybecomes tied to chaos.
(04:22):
Your brain literally becomesaddicted to the chemicals
released in urgency, likeadrenaline and cortisol, because
those chemicals helped youfunction during hard times Over
time.
You don't even need a crisis toget triggered.
Your body starts cravingurgency just to feel normal.
That's why peace feels boring.
That's why rest feels lazy.
(04:42):
That's why healthy love feelstoo quiet.
The emergency mindset isn'tabout loving drama.
It's about never having had thechance to fully exhale.
And until we recognize it forwhat it is, we'll keep running,
over-functioning and exhaustingourselves in the name of staying
on point.
But here's the good newsAnything learned can be
(05:04):
unlearned, and that starts withunderstanding the roots of
staying on point.
But here's the good newsAnything learned can be
unlearned, and that starts withunderstanding the roots of why
this mindset even forms in thefirst place the biology of
survival mode.
When we talk about theemergency mindset, we're not
just talking about apsychological habit.
We're talking about a nervoussystem that's been hijacked.
And if no one ever told youwhat's happening inside your
(05:24):
body during all that urgency,let's break it down now, because
understanding the biology of itgives you your power back.
Your body has a built-in alarmsystem called the autonomic
nervous system, which is splitinto two branches Sympathetic
fight or flight, parasympatheticrest and digest.
When you're in a state of realor perceived danger, like
(05:47):
growing up in a chaotic home,dealing with financial
instability, surviving abuse orjust constantly being
overstimulated, your body flipsthe switch to the sympathetic
system.
And when that system staysactivated too long, you start
living in survival mode.
Here's what that actually doesto you your brain releases
adrenaline and cortisol stresshormones that give you short
(06:09):
bursts of energy and focus toget through it.
Your digestion slows, yourmuscles tighten, your breathing
becomes shallow because yourbody's trying to survive, not
thrive.
Over time, cortisol overloadleads to burnout, brain fog,
weakened immunity, inflammationand even hormone imbalance.
(06:30):
And here's the kicker your mindbegins to associate safety with
stress.
You start to need pressure inorder to feel productive.
You might even feeluncomfortable when nothing's
wrong, because calm now feelslike the unfamiliar threat.
This is why people who live insurvival mode often say things
like I work best under pressure.
I don't know how to relax.
(06:51):
When things get too quiet, Iget anxious.
What they're really saying ismy body doesn't trust peace.
And if that's you, please hearthis with love.
It's not a personal flaw.
It's your nervous system doingwhat it was trained to do keep
you alive at all costs.
But what helped you surviveisn't meant to be your permanent
(07:11):
operating system.
Your nervous system isneuroplastic.
It can be rewired.
You can teach your body andyour spirit that you are no
longer in danger, that it isokay to exhale now, that you do
not have to hustle to feelworthy or live in crisis to feel
alive.
Why calm feels unsafe.
You ever finally get a momentof stillness and instead of
(07:32):
feeling peace, you feel panic.
You check your phone like youforgot something.
You start cleaning the kitchen,organizing your inbox, calling
someone back.
You're not relaxing, you'rebracing.
That's not by accident.
That's your body and spiritsaying I don't know what to do
without something to fix.
This is one of the deepestsigns of the emergency mindset.
(07:54):
Calm feels like a threat, andhere's why, when you grow up in
unpredictability whether that'schaos in the home, financial
insecurity, emotional neglect orunspoken trauma your system
learns to associate tension withsafety.
It sounds backwards, but yournervous system isn't trying to
make you happy.
It's trying to keep youfamiliar.
So if your childhood or pastexperiences taught you that
(08:17):
peace always comes before thestorm.
Your body can't enjoy it.
It's too busy waiting Waitingfor the argument, waiting for
the next betrayal, waiting forsomething to go wrong.
It's called anticipatoryanxiety and it convinces you
that calm is just the setup forcollapse.
And then you start sabotagingit.
You pick a fight in arelationship that was finally
(08:38):
going well.
You procrastinate on a goalbecause it feels too good to be
true.
You leave healthy environmentsbecause they feel uncomfortable,
not chaotic enough.
In trauma healing, we call thisthe trauma bond to adrenaline.
You get chemically attached tothe chaos, not because you like
it, but because your bodyremembers it.
(08:59):
Even worse, society reinforcesthis pattern, especially in
black and brown communities.
We've been told to always be onguard, to hustle, to fight, to
grind, to keep moving.
We weren't taught to restwithout guilt.
We were taught that stillnessmeans you're slacking.
But here's the truth you needto reclaim today.
Peace is not punishment, calmis not boring, safety is not
(09:22):
weakness.
You do not have to earn yourright to rest by suffering first
.
You do not need chaos to provethat you are strong.
You do not need drama to feelalive and you are not broken for
feeling uncomfortable in peace.
You are just in recovery Signs.
You're operating from anemergency mindset.
Sometimes we don't even realizewe're stuck in the emergency
(09:42):
mindset because it's been ourdefault setting for so long.
We think it's just how life is.
But once you start payingattention, the signs become
crystal clear.
Let's break them down.
One you feel more productive inchaos than in calm.
When things are falling apart,you can focus.
But when life gives you spaceto breathe, you suddenly feel
(10:05):
lost, distracted or depressed.
You only come alive in a crisis.
Two you create urgency wherethere isn't any.
You wait until the last minuteto do everything, even when you
had time.
You thrive under pressurebecause stress gives you that
adrenaline rush.
It's not procrastination, it'ssurvival mimicry.
(10:26):
Three you sabotage peacefulmoments.
When things are going well, youstart poking holes.
You might start arguments,overthink or stir up new
problems, because somewhere deepdown calm feels too unfamiliar
to trust.
Four you can't rest withoutguilt.
(10:47):
Every time you try to sit down,you start thinking about what
you should be doing.
You feel lazy.
If you aren't productive, yourest, but you don't relax.
That's the trauma talking.
Five you attract chaos or choosepeople who live in it.
You find yourself inrelationships, friendships or
(11:09):
jobs that are emotionally highmaintenance.
You take on the role of thefixer.
Or jobs that are emotionallyhigh maintenance.
You take on the role of thefixer.
You're the one always saving,solving, rescuing, and when
you're not, you feel useless.
Six you can't envision the longterm.
Your mind is wired for what'snext, not what's possible.
Planning for joy or buildingslow, stable success feels
(11:31):
unnatural.
You're always preparing fordisaster, not dreaming for
expansion.
Seven you fear boredom morethan burnout.
Stillness makes you itchy.
You'd rather run yourself intothe ground than sit alone with
your thoughts.
The silence, it feels too loud.
If you recognize yourself inany of those patterns, you are
(11:53):
not alone.
This isn't about judgment, it'sabout awareness.
Awareness is what shiftseverything, because once you
name the pattern, you can breakthe pattern.
And in the next section we'regoing to talk about how you can
start doing exactly that Gently,intentionally and powerfully
Rewiring for peace, how to breakthe pattern.
If the emergency mindset wassomething you learned, that
(12:17):
means it's something you canunlearn.
And no, it won't happenovernight.
But with intention, love andconsistent soul work, you can
rewire your nervous system torecognize peace as safety, not a
threat.
Let's walk through the processtogether.
Step one acknowledge the patternwithout shame.
Healing begins when you can sayto yourself I've been operating
(12:42):
in survival mode and I didn'teven realize it.
That awareness isn't weakness,it's wisdom.
Speak it aloud.
Journal it.
Claim it, because what we don'tacknowledge, we repeat.
Step two Regulate your nervoussystem daily.
You can't logic your way out oftrauma.
(13:02):
You have to soothe your bodytoo.
Try these soul calming toolsBox breathing.
Inhale four.
Hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
Repeat Somatic grounding.
Rub your hands together.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Inhale four.
Hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
Repeat Somatic grounding.
Rub your hands together.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Humming, rocking body scans.
Gently ask where am I holdingtension today?
(13:23):
Do these not just during stress, but especially when it's quiet
.
Teach your system that peace issafe.
Step three redefine productivity.
You've been praised for whatyou do.
Now start honoring who you are.
Rest is not the reward for hardwork.
It is part of the work.
Ask yourself daily am I doingthis from inspiration or from
(13:48):
fear?
What does peace look like in myschedule today?
Create routines that prioritizenourishment over output.
Step four set boundaries withyour inner rescuer.
You don't have to fixeverything or everyone.
Your worth is not based on howmany fires you put out.
Today, start practicingintentional no's.
(14:09):
No to overcommitting, no tocrisis addiction, no to
self-neglect.
Replace it with yes to calm,yes to pause, yes to letting
people carry their own loadsometimes.
Step five build peace ritualsthat anchor you.
Peace doesn't have to feel likeemptiness.
(14:29):
It can be alive, sacred andrhythmic.
Try morning silence with tea orsoft music, gentle yoga or
walking in nature, a dailymantra like I am safe in my
stillness.
Let peace become a practice,not just a possibility.
This process is not aboutbecoming zen overnight.
(14:49):
It's about consistentlychoosing alignment over
adrenaline.
It's about reminding your soulI am not what I survived, I am
who I'm becoming.
And in the next section I'mgoing to share the spiritual
tools and soul practices thatwill help anchor you deeper into
that peace.
So it becomes your new normalSoul practices to anchor and
(15:11):
calm.
Once you start recognizing theemergency mindset, the next step
is creating new emotionalmuscle memory, anchoring
yourself in intentional peace.
Not forced stillness, notnumbness, but soul, deep
embodied calm.
And that takes practice.
Here are some sacred, lovingways to start Daily mirror work
(15:35):
Every morning or night, stand infront of the mirror, look
yourself in the eye gently,without judgment, and say I am
safe now.
I release the need to perform tobe loved.
Stillness is where I hear mysoul the clearest.
Even if it feels awkward atfirst, keep going.
Your nervous system responds torepetition and sincerity.
(15:57):
Journal prompts to rewire theinner narrative.
Take time, even five minutes aday, and write freely from your
heart.
What would my life look andfeel like if chaos was no longer
my normal?
What beliefs about rest andpeace did I inherit that no
longer serve me?
What am I afraid I'll feel if Istop running?
(16:19):
Let the answers come withoutediting.
Your truth needs space to speak.
Affirmations to reclaim peace.
Say these aloud, write them inyour planner or record them in
your own voice.
I am no longer defined by whatI survive.
I trust the quiet.
It is sacred, not scary.
(16:41):
Peace is not the absence ofmovement, it's the presence of
alignment.
Let these become your newspiritual soundtrack.
Create a sacred peace ritual.
Your soul needs signals thatit's safe.
Try building a small ritualjust for you.
Light a candle and speak youraffirmation.
Sip a warm drink slowly whileplaying soft healing music.
(17:02):
Take three intentional breathsbefore you check your phone or
emails.
You are telling your spirit.
We don't have to rush anymore.
We are not in danger.
Spiritual anchoring.
For my listeners who walk aspiritual path, whether through
prayer, meditation, ifa,ancestral work or intuitive
(17:23):
practice, this is the time tolean into those tools.
Offer a moment of gratitude toyour Ori.
Sit in front of your altar, notasking, just being.
Ask your higher self or guideswhat does calm look like for me
today?
Your spiritual team is notasking for performance, they're
asking for presence.
These soul practices aren'tjust healing techniques.
(17:46):
They're acts of rebellion in aworld that profits off your
burnout.
You don't need to wait for abreakdown to begin your
breakthrough.
Your new peace practice startsnow with you, for you,
rebuilding identity beyond theemergency.
So much of who we think we arewas shaped in response to crisis
.
We learned to be the strong one, the fixer, the dependable one,
(18:08):
the one who holds it alltogether even when we're falling
apart inside.
But what happens when theemergency ends?
(18:31):
Who are, thank you?
The one who doesn't have tofight for love, perform for
value or hustle for rest.
Let go of survival as yourstoryline.
Being a survivor is powerful,but it is not your personality.
You are not what happened toyou.
You are not just your strengthyou are, your softness, your joy
(18:52):
, your creativity, your peace.
Don't get stuck telling thestory of what you overcame while
never allowing yourself to livethe life you were fighting for.
Explore who you are when you'renot fixing.
Ask yourself gently what do Ienjoy when no one needs anything
from me?
What kind of love do I wantwhen I'm not busy proving I'm
(19:13):
worthy of it?
What do I value now that I'mnot chasing survival?
Start building routines,relationships and environments
that reflect the version of youwho is no longer just getting by
.
Let expansion feel normal.
You've mastered the art ofholding it together in hard
times.
Now it's time to learn the artof receiving ease without guilt.
(19:35):
Let love be soft, let rest beregular, let money flow without
panic, let joy stay withoutneeding to earn it.
This is what it looks like tolive beyond the emergency Vision
your calm, empowered futureself.
Close your eyes and imagine theyou who wakes up rested, who
(19:56):
doesn't check her phone for badnews first, who moves through
the day with intention, notreactivity, who knows how to say
no without apologizing, whoknows how to sit in silence and
hear divine answers.
That version of you, she'salready within you.
She's just waiting forpermission to lead Final
Reflections.
(20:18):
The emergency mindset helped yousurvive.
It got you through the storm,it made you powerful.
But now it's time to exhale, towrite a new story, to choose
peace, not because you've earnedit, but because you were always
worthy of it.
You are allowed to be soft, youare allowed to be still.
You are allowed to be still.
You are allowed to stay whenit's good, not run when it's
(20:41):
calm.
And I want you to know I seeyou, I honor your journey and
I'm walking this healing pathright alongside you.
If this episode stirredsomething in you, if you saw
yourself in these words, if youfelt permission to rest, or if
you simply realized you've beencarrying too much for too long,
(21:02):
then this is your invitation topause, to breathe and to begin
again, but softer this time, andI want to thank you for letting
me walk this part of yourjourney with you.
If Life Points with Rhonda isspeaking to your spirit, please
take a moment to follow, rateand share this episode with
someone you love.
We grow when we heal together,and your voice helps me keep
(21:24):
these conversations going.
Stay connected with meeverywhere at Life Points with
Rhonda YouTube.
At Life Points with Rhondapodcast Life Points with Ronda
on all streaming platformswebsite life points with
Rhondacom, facebook, tik TOK.
Instagram.
Patreon at life points withRhonda.
Email life points with Rhondaat gmailcom.
(21:48):
And when you visit the website,don't forget I'm gifting you a
free healing affirmation, adownloadable relationship
episode and a free consultationsession just for tapping in,
because I believe peace is yourbirthright and I'm here to
remind you.
You're not here to hustle foryour healing, you're here to
receive it, thank you.
Why does peace make some people panic?
We say we want stillness, easeand balance, but the moment life
gives us a break, we startitching for drama, picking
fights or overloading our plate.
What if your mind was trainedto need urgency to feel alive?
What if you've confused stresswith purpose and adrenaline with
love?
This is what we call theemergency mindset a
(00:22):
psychological survival loopwhere chaos feels safe and peace
feels threatening.
And, the wildest part, mostpeople don't even know they're
trapped in it.
Before we dive deep into today'sconversation, I want to take a
moment to thank you for beinghere.
If you find value in theseepisodes, please take a second
to subscribe and share LifePoints with Rhonda with someone
(00:44):
you care about.
Your support truly means theworld and remember, you can
always stay connected with meacross all platforms YouTube,
life Points with Rhonda, podcast, life Points with Rhonda on all
streaming platforms.
Website lifepointswithrhondacom.
Email lifepPointsWithRonda atgmailcom.
(01:05):
Facebook, instagram, tiktok,patreon at LifePointsWithRonda.
Don't forget, when you visitLifePointsWithRondacom, you'll
get access to free gifts likehealing affirmations, a
relationship episode downloadand even a free consultation
session to support your journey.
Let's grow together.
You ever look around and realizethat the only time you really
(01:27):
feel focused, energized ormotivated is when something's on
fire, metaphorically orliterally.
It's a pattern I see far toooften, not just in my coaching
clients, but across society.
We are becoming conditioned toonly show up when things are
falling apart and, what's worse,when life finally starts to
(01:48):
feel stable, we self-sabotageBecause peace feels foreign,
boring or even unsafe.
That's what today's episode isabout the emergency mindset.
This mindset is sneaky.
It can look like overachieving,like being the go-to problem
solver, the rescuer, the personwho holds it all together when
no one else can.
But beneath all of that is anervous system that's stuck in
(02:12):
high alert, a heart that neverlearned how to slow down, a soul
that equates love withperformance and rest with guilt.
We were never taught how tothrive in peace.
Many of us only learned how tofunction in survival.
But, sis brother collective, weare not here to just survive,
we are here to evolve.
(02:32):
In this episode, we're going totalk about why the emergency
mindset is so common, especiallyin communities that have had to
overcome trauma, systemicpressure and generational hustle
, and how you can begin theprocess of breaking that cycle
for good.
This isn't about shaming yourcoping mechanisms.
It's about understanding themso you can finally replace
survival with sovereignty.
(02:54):
So let's take a deep breathtogether and unpack what's
really behind the constantcrisis energy.
What is the emergency mindset?
The emergency mindset is aconditioned way of living where
your nervous system is alwaysscanning for something to fix,
something to fear or somethingto brace for.
It's a psychological loop thatthrives on chaos, urgency and
(03:16):
adrenaline.
And the deeper truth.
It's not who you are, it's whatyou learn to be in order to
survive.
Most people don't realizethey're in this cycle because
it's become so normalized.
In fact, society rewards it.
People applaud you for beingstrong, for pushing through, for
being the one who always stepsup in a crisis.
But when was the last timesomeone praised you for resting,
(03:39):
for setting boundaries, forsitting still and just being?
The emergency mindset shows upin subtle and not so subtle ways
.
You feel most energized whenyou're solving a problem.
You unconsciously attract dramaor stay in toxic relationships
because they keep you on yourtoes.
When things are going well, youget suspicious or anxious,
(04:00):
waiting for the other shoe todrop.
You're uncomfortable in calmenvironments because you don't
know how to just be withoutdoing or fixing.
And this isn't just emotional,this is biological.
See, when you've experiencedprolonged stress or trauma, your
body wires itself to operate infight-or-flight mode.
That means your sense of safetybecomes tied to chaos.
(04:22):
Your brain literally becomesaddicted to the chemicals
released in urgency, likeadrenaline and cortisol, because
those chemicals helped youfunction during hard times Over
time.
You don't even need a crisis toget triggered.
Your body starts cravingurgency just to feel normal.
That's why peace feels boring.
That's why rest feels lazy.
(04:42):
That's why healthy love feelstoo quiet.
The emergency mindset isn'tabout loving drama.
It's about never having had thechance to fully exhale.
And until we recognize it forwhat it is, we'll keep running,
over-functioning and exhaustingourselves in the name of staying
on point.
But here's the good newsAnything learned can be
(05:04):
unlearned, and that starts withunderstanding the roots of
staying on point.
But here's the good newsAnything learned can be
unlearned, and that starts withunderstanding the roots of why
this mindset even forms in thefirst place the biology of
survival mode.
When we talk about theemergency mindset, we're not
just talking about apsychological habit.
We're talking about a nervoussystem that's been hijacked.
And if no one ever told youwhat's happening inside your
(05:24):
body during all that urgency,let's break it down now, because
understanding the biology of itgives you your power back.
Your body has a built-in alarmsystem called the autonomic
nervous system, which is splitinto two branches Sympathetic
fight or flight, parasympatheticrest and digest.
When you're in a state of realor perceived danger, like
(05:47):
growing up in a chaotic home,dealing with financial
instability, surviving abuse orjust constantly being
overstimulated, your body flipsthe switch to the sympathetic
system.
And when that system staysactivated too long, you start
living in survival mode.
Here's what that actually doesto you your brain releases
adrenaline and cortisol stresshormones that give you short
(06:09):
bursts of energy and focus toget through it.
Your digestion slows, yourmuscles tighten, your breathing
becomes shallow because yourbody's trying to survive, not
thrive.
Over time, cortisol overloadleads to burnout, brain fog,
weakened immunity, inflammationand even hormone imbalance.
(06:30):
And here's the kicker your mindbegins to associate safety with
stress.
You start to need pressure inorder to feel productive.
You might even feeluncomfortable when nothing's
wrong, because calm now feelslike the unfamiliar threat.
This is why people who live insurvival mode often say things
like I work best under pressure.
I don't know how to relax.
(06:51):
When things get too quiet, Iget anxious.
What they're really saying ismy body doesn't trust peace.
And if that's you, please hearthis with love.
It's not a personal flaw.
It's your nervous system doingwhat it was trained to do keep
you alive at all costs.
But what helped you surviveisn't meant to be your permanent
(07:11):
operating system.
Your nervous system isneuroplastic.
It can be rewired.
You can teach your body andyour spirit that you are no
longer in danger, that it isokay to exhale now, that you do
not have to hustle to feelworthy or live in crisis to feel
alive.
Why calm feels unsafe.
You ever finally get a momentof stillness and instead of
(07:32):
feeling peace, you feel panic.
You check your phone like youforgot something.
You start cleaning the kitchen,organizing your inbox, calling
someone back.
You're not relaxing, you'rebracing.
That's not by accident.
That's your body and spiritsaying I don't know what to do
without something to fix.
This is one of the deepestsigns of the emergency mindset.
(07:54):
Calm feels like a threat, andhere's why, when you grow up in
unpredictability whether that'schaos in the home, financial
insecurity, emotional neglect orunspoken trauma your system
learns to associate tension withsafety.
It sounds backwards, but yournervous system isn't trying to
make you happy.
It's trying to keep youfamiliar.
So if your childhood or pastexperiences taught you that
(08:17):
peace always comes before thestorm.
Your body can't enjoy it.
It's too busy waiting Waitingfor the argument, waiting for
the next betrayal, waiting forsomething to go wrong.
It's called anticipatoryanxiety and it convinces you
that calm is just the setup forcollapse.
And then you start sabotagingit.
You pick a fight in arelationship that was finally
(08:38):
going well.
You procrastinate on a goalbecause it feels too good to be
true.
You leave healthy environmentsbecause they feel uncomfortable,
not chaotic enough.
In trauma healing, we call thisthe trauma bond to adrenaline.
You get chemically attached tothe chaos, not because you like
it, but because your bodyremembers it.
(08:59):
Even worse, society reinforcesthis pattern, especially in
black and brown communities.
We've been told to always be onguard, to hustle, to fight, to
grind, to keep moving.
We weren't taught to restwithout guilt.
We were taught that stillnessmeans you're slacking.
But here's the truth you needto reclaim today.
Peace is not punishment, calmis not boring, safety is not
(09:22):
weakness.
You do not have to earn yourright to rest by suffering first
.
You do not need chaos to provethat you are strong.
You do not need drama to feelalive and you are not broken for
feeling uncomfortable in peace.
You are just in recovery Signs.
You're operating from anemergency mindset.
Sometimes we don't even realizewe're stuck in the emergency
(09:42):
mindset because it's been ourdefault setting for so long.
We think it's just how life is.
But once you start payingattention, the signs become
crystal clear.
Let's break them down.
One you feel more productive inchaos than in calm.
When things are falling apart,you can focus.
But when life gives you spaceto breathe, you suddenly feel
(10:05):
lost, distracted or depressed.
You only come alive in a crisis.
Two you create urgency wherethere isn't any.
You wait until the last minuteto do everything, even when you
had time.
You thrive under pressurebecause stress gives you that
adrenaline rush.
It's not procrastination, it'ssurvival mimicry.
(10:26):
Three you sabotage peacefulmoments.
When things are going well, youstart poking holes.
You might start arguments,overthink or stir up new
problems, because somewhere deepdown calm feels too unfamiliar
to trust.
Four you can't rest withoutguilt.
(10:47):
Every time you try to sit down,you start thinking about what
you should be doing.
You feel lazy.
If you aren't productive, yourest, but you don't relax.
That's the trauma talking.
Five you attract chaos or choosepeople who live in it.
You find yourself inrelationships, friendships or
(11:09):
jobs that are emotionally highmaintenance.
You take on the role of thefixer.
Or jobs that are emotionallyhigh maintenance.
You take on the role of thefixer.
You're the one always saving,solving, rescuing, and when
you're not, you feel useless.
Six you can't envision the longterm.
Your mind is wired for what'snext, not what's possible.
Planning for joy or buildingslow, stable success feels
(11:31):
unnatural.
You're always preparing fordisaster, not dreaming for
expansion.
Seven you fear boredom morethan burnout.
Stillness makes you itchy.
You'd rather run yourself intothe ground than sit alone with
your thoughts.
The silence, it feels too loud.
If you recognize yourself inany of those patterns, you are
(11:53):
not alone.
This isn't about judgment, it'sabout awareness.
Awareness is what shiftseverything, because once you
name the pattern, you can breakthe pattern.
And in the next section we'regoing to talk about how you can
start doing exactly that Gently,intentionally and powerfully
Rewiring for peace, how to breakthe pattern.
If the emergency mindset wassomething you learned, that
(12:17):
means it's something you canunlearn.
And no, it won't happenovernight.
But with intention, love andconsistent soul work, you can
rewire your nervous system torecognize peace as safety, not a
threat.
Let's walk through the processtogether.
Step one acknowledge the patternwithout shame.
Healing begins when you can sayto yourself I've been operating
(12:42):
in survival mode and I didn'teven realize it.
That awareness isn't weakness,it's wisdom.
Speak it aloud.
Journal it.
Claim it, because what we don'tacknowledge, we repeat.
Step two Regulate your nervoussystem daily.
You can't logic your way out oftrauma.
(13:02):
You have to soothe your bodytoo.
Try these soul calming toolsBox breathing.
Inhale four.
Hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
Repeat Somatic grounding.
Rub your hands together.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Inhale four.
Hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
Repeat Somatic grounding.
Rub your hands together.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Humming, rocking body scans.
Gently ask where am I holdingtension today?
(13:23):
Do these not just during stress, but especially when it's quiet
.
Teach your system that peace issafe.
Step three redefine productivity.
You've been praised for whatyou do.
Now start honoring who you are.
Rest is not the reward for hardwork.
It is part of the work.
Ask yourself daily am I doingthis from inspiration or from
(13:48):
fear?
What does peace look like in myschedule today?
Create routines that prioritizenourishment over output.
Step four set boundaries withyour inner rescuer.
You don't have to fixeverything or everyone.
Your worth is not based on howmany fires you put out.
Today, start practicingintentional no's.
(14:09):
No to overcommitting, no tocrisis addiction, no to
self-neglect.
Replace it with yes to calm,yes to pause, yes to letting
people carry their own loadsometimes.
Step five build peace ritualsthat anchor you.
Peace doesn't have to feel likeemptiness.
(14:29):
It can be alive, sacred andrhythmic.
Try morning silence with tea orsoft music, gentle yoga or
walking in nature, a dailymantra like I am safe in my
stillness.
Let peace become a practice,not just a possibility.
This process is not aboutbecoming zen overnight.
(14:49):
It's about consistentlychoosing alignment over
adrenaline.
It's about reminding your soulI am not what I survived, I am
who I'm becoming.
And in the next section I'mgoing to share the spiritual
tools and soul practices thatwill help anchor you deeper into
that peace.
So it becomes your new normalSoul practices to anchor and
(15:11):
calm.
Once you start recognizing theemergency mindset, the next step
is creating new emotionalmuscle memory, anchoring
yourself in intentional peace.
Not forced stillness, notnumbness, but soul, deep
embodied calm.
And that takes practice.
Here are some sacred, lovingways to start Daily mirror work
(15:35):
Every morning or night, stand infront of the mirror, look
yourself in the eye gently,without judgment, and say I am
safe now.
I release the need to perform tobe loved.
Stillness is where I hear mysoul the clearest.
Even if it feels awkward atfirst, keep going.
Your nervous system responds torepetition and sincerity.
(15:57):
Journal prompts to rewire theinner narrative.
Take time, even five minutes aday, and write freely from your
heart.
What would my life look andfeel like if chaos was no longer
my normal?
What beliefs about rest andpeace did I inherit that no
longer serve me?
What am I afraid I'll feel if Istop running?
(16:19):
Let the answers come withoutediting.
Your truth needs space to speak.
Affirmations to reclaim peace.
Say these aloud, write them inyour planner or record them in
your own voice.
I am no longer defined by whatI survive.
I trust the quiet.
It is sacred, not scary.
(16:41):
Peace is not the absence ofmovement, it's the presence of
alignment.
Let these become your newspiritual soundtrack.
Create a sacred peace ritual.
Your soul needs signals thatit's safe.
Try building a small ritualjust for you.
Light a candle and speak youraffirmation.
Sip a warm drink slowly whileplaying soft healing music.
(17:02):
Take three intentional breathsbefore you check your phone or
emails.
You are telling your spirit.
We don't have to rush anymore.
We are not in danger.
Spiritual anchoring.
For my listeners who walk aspiritual path, whether through
prayer, meditation, ifa,ancestral work or intuitive
(17:23):
practice, this is the time tolean into those tools.
Offer a moment of gratitude toyour Ori.
Sit in front of your altar, notasking, just being.
Ask your higher self or guideswhat does calm look like for me
today?
Your spiritual team is notasking for performance, they're
asking for presence.
These soul practices aren'tjust healing techniques.
(17:46):
They're acts of rebellion in aworld that profits off your
burnout.
You don't need to wait for abreakdown to begin your
breakthrough.
Your new peace practice startsnow with you, for you,
rebuilding identity beyond theemergency.
So much of who we think we arewas shaped in response to crisis
.
We learned to be the strong one, the fixer, the dependable one,
(18:08):
the one who holds it alltogether even when we're falling
apart inside.
But what happens when theemergency ends?
(18:31):
Who are, thank you?
The one who doesn't have tofight for love, perform for
value or hustle for rest.
Let go of survival as yourstoryline.
Being a survivor is powerful,but it is not your personality.
You are not what happened toyou.
You are not just your strengthyou are, your softness, your joy
(18:52):
, your creativity, your peace.
Don't get stuck telling thestory of what you overcame while
never allowing yourself to livethe life you were fighting for.
Explore who you are when you'renot fixing.
Ask yourself gently what do Ienjoy when no one needs anything
from me?
What kind of love do I wantwhen I'm not busy proving I'm
(19:13):
worthy of it?
What do I value now that I'mnot chasing survival?
Start building routines,relationships and environments
that reflect the version of youwho is no longer just getting by
.
Let expansion feel normal.
You've mastered the art ofholding it together in hard
times.
Now it's time to learn the artof receiving ease without guilt.
(19:35):
Let love be soft, let rest beregular, let money flow without
panic, let joy stay withoutneeding to earn it.
This is what it looks like tolive beyond the emergency Vision
your calm, empowered futureself.
Close your eyes and imagine theyou who wakes up rested, who
(19:56):
doesn't check her phone for badnews first, who moves through
the day with intention, notreactivity, who knows how to say
no without apologizing, whoknows how to sit in silence and
hear divine answers.
That version of you, she'salready within you.
She's just waiting forpermission to lead Final
Reflections.
(20:18):
The emergency mindset helped yousurvive.
It got you through the storm,it made you powerful.
But now it's time to exhale, towrite a new story, to choose
peace, not because you've earnedit, but because you were always
worthy of it.
You are allowed to be soft, youare allowed to be still.
You are allowed to be still.
You are allowed to stay whenit's good, not run when it's
(20:41):
calm.
And I want you to know I seeyou, I honor your journey and
I'm walking this healing pathright alongside you.
If this episode stirredsomething in you, if you saw
yourself in these words, if youfelt permission to rest, or if
you simply realized you've beencarrying too much for too long,
(21:02):
then this is your invitation topause, to breathe and to begin
again, but softer this time, andI want to thank you for letting
me walk this part of yourjourney with you.
If Life Points with Rhonda isspeaking to your spirit, please
take a moment to follow, rateand share this episode with
someone you love.
We grow when we heal together,and your voice helps me keep
(21:24):
these conversations going.
Stay connected with meeverywhere at Life Points with
Rhonda YouTube.
At Life Points with Rhondapodcast Life Points with Ronda
on all streaming platformswebsite life points with
Rhondacom, facebook, tik TOK.
Instagram.
Patreon at life points withRhonda.
Email life points with Rhondaat gmailcom.
(21:48):
And when you visit the website,don't forget I'm gifting you a
free healing affirmation, adownloadable relationship
episode and a free consultationsession just for tapping in,
because I believe peace is yourbirthright and I'm here to
remind you.
You're not here to hustle foryour healing, you're here to
receive it, thank you.
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