March 9, 2025 ā¢ 27 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Imagine you're drowning in a sea of emotions
pain, grief, anger but everytime you reach for help, you're
met with the same response Juststay positive.
Your struggle's dismissed, yourpain ignored and your reality
reduced to a hollow phrase.
Good vibes only.
But what happens whenpositivity becomes a prison,
when forcing a smile comes atthe cost of your mental health,
(00:23):
when you're not allowed to feelanything but happiness?
This isn't self-care, thisisn't growth.
This is toxic positivity, andtoday we're going to expose its
dangers.
Uncover the truth behind whysuppressing emotions can be more
harmful than healing and, mostimportantly, learn how to
embrace real, balanced andhealthy emotional well-being.
(00:46):
Before we dive deep into thiscritical conversation, I want to
take a moment to connect withyou.
If you find value in thesediscussions and believe in the
importance of real, honestconversations about mental
health, relationships andself-growth, make sure to
subscribe to Life Points withRhonda on your favorite podcast
(01:07):
platform.
Follow me on YouTube at LifePoints with Rhonda 2968 for more
in-depth content.
Join me on Instagram andFacebook at Life Points with
Rhonda for daily insights,motivation and community
discussions.
Visit my website,lifepointswithrhondacom to book
one-on-one coaching, explore myblog and check out my latest
(01:29):
offerings, and if this episoderesonates with you, share it
with someone who needs to hearit.
Let's break the cycle of toxicpositivity together.
Now let's get into it.
Welcome back to Life Points withRonda, where we navigate the
complexities of relationships,self-growth and the real-life
challenges that shape ourwell-being.
I'm your host, rhonda, andtoday we're diving into a topic
(01:52):
that many don't even realize isharming them toxic positivity.
We live in a world where socialmedia, self-help culture and
even our closest friendsencourage us to always look on
the bright side and staypositive.
But what happens whenpositivity is forced, when
emotions like sadness,frustration or grief are treated
(02:12):
as weaknesses, when good vibesonly becomes a silencing tool
rather than a source of healing?
In this episode, we're breakingdown the hidden dangers of
toxic positivity, how it impactsmental health and why embracing
a full spectrum of emotions iscrucial for true growth and
resilience.
So if you've ever felt likeyour struggles were dismissed,
(02:33):
if you've been told to just begrateful when you were really
hurting, or if you've forcedyourself to suppress emotions
just to appear strong, thisepisode is for you.
Let's break free from thepressure of fake happiness and
start embracing real, authenticemotional well-being,
understanding toxic positivitywhat it is and why it's harmful.
(02:54):
Toxic positivity is the beliefthat, no matter how difficult or
painful a situation may be,people should maintain a
positive mindset at all times.
While optimism and gratitudeare valuable tools for
resilience, toxic positivitytakes things a step too far.
It dismisses or invalidatesreal emotions by insisting that
(03:16):
negativity has no place in ourlives.
You've probably encounteredtoxic positivity in many forms.
Everything happens for a reason.
It could be worse.
Just be grateful, don't for areason?
It could be worse, just begrateful.
Don't be so negative, justthink happy thoughts.
Stop dwelling on it and move on.
At first glance, thesestatements may seem
well-intentioned, but whensomeone is struggling, whether
(03:37):
with grief, depression, anxietyor personal hardships, being
told to simply stay positive canfeel dismissive, even harmful.
Why is toxic positivity harmful?
It suppresses real emotions.
When people are told to focusonly on the positive, they may
feel ashamed or guilty forexperiencing normal human
(03:58):
emotions like sadness,frustration or anger.
This can lead to emotionalsuppression, which has been
linked to increased stress,frustration or anger.
This can lead to emotionalsuppression, which has been
linked to increased stress,anxiety and even physical health
issues.
Over time, it creates emotionalisolation.
If someone constantly hearsthat they should just stay
positive, they may start tobelieve that their feelings are
(04:19):
a burden to others.
This can cause them to withdraw, suffer in silence and feel
even more alone in theirstruggles.
It invalidates real struggles.
Life is filled with challenges,and emotions like sadness,
grief and anger are naturalresponses to those challenges.
When someone is told to simplymove on or look at the bright
(04:41):
side, their pain is minimized,making them feel as if their
struggles don't matter.
It promotes inauthenticity.
People who feel pressured toalways appear happy may put on a
fake smile while secretlystruggling inside.
This disconnection from theirtrue emotions can lead to
burnout, resentment and deepermental health issues.
(05:03):
Toxic positivity versus healthypositivity it's important to
clarify.
Positivity itself is not theproblem.
Having a hopeful outlook can bea powerful tool for resilience.
The problem is when positivityis used to dismiss, deny or
suppress real emotions ratherthan honor and process them.
(05:23):
Healthy positivity says Iacknowledge my pain, but I also
know that healing is possible.
Toxic positivity says I refuseto feel anything negative and
neither should you.
True growth comes fromaccepting all emotions, not just
the happy ones.
Signs you might be experiencingtoxic positivity.
Toxic positivity can be subtleand deeply ingrained in our
(05:46):
mindset, relationships and evenour self-talk.
Many of us have beenconditioned to believe that
staying positive is the only wayto cope with challenges.
But if positivity comes at thecost of your mental and
emotional well-being, it's nolonger serving you.
It's harming you.
Here are some clear signs thatyou might be experiencing, or
(06:07):
engaging in, toxic positivity.
One you feel guilty for havingnegative emotions.
Do you ever catch yourselfthinking I shouldn't feel this
way?
Other people have it worse.
This is a classic sign of toxicpositivity.
While perspective is important,this is a classic sign of toxic
positivity.
While perspective is important,comparing struggles doesn't
(06:29):
make your pain any less valid.
Healthy alternative Remindyourself that all emotions are
valid.
You are allowed to feel sadness, frustration or anger without
guilt.
Two you constantly forceyourself to look on the bright
side.
If you find yourself forcingoptimism, even when you're
deeply struggling, you may besuppressing emotions instead of
(06:50):
processing them.
This can build up stress andanxiety, making you feel
emotionally exhausted over time.
Healthy alternative Instead oftrying to immediately fix your
emotions, give yourself space toacknowledge them.
True healing starts withacceptance.
Three you avoid talking aboutdifficult topics.
Do you hesitate to share yourstruggles because you don't want
(07:14):
to bring down the mood?
Toxic positivity often makespeople feel like they must
suffer in silence to avoid beingseen as negative or too much
for others.
Healthy alternative surroundyourself with people who
encourage open, honestconversations, ones who listen
without judgment and validateyour emotions.
Four others Dismiss yourfeelings with overly positive
(07:38):
responses.
If you've ever opened up abouta personal struggle and been met
with phrases like just begrateful, everything happens for
a reason, or don't dwell on it,you've experienced toxic
positivity firsthand.
These responses may seemencouraging, but they often
dismiss the complexity of whatyou're feeling.
Healthy alternative seek outrelationships where your
(08:00):
emotions are met withunderstanding, not avoidance.
Five you push others to staypositive instead of validating
their feelings.
Toxic positivity isn't justsomething we experience.
It's something we mayunknowingly project onto others.
If you tend to offer solutionstoo quickly or rush people to
find a silver lining, you may beengaging in toxic positivity
(08:24):
yourself.
Healthy alternative Next timesomeone shares their struggles,
listen first Instead of sayingstay positive.
Zarinia, that sounds reallytough.
I'm here for you.
I can see why that would bepainful.
Do you want to talk about it?
Empathy heals more than forcedpositivity ever could.
(08:48):
Six you feel emotionallydisconnected or numb.
If you've been avoidingdifficult emotions for too long,
you may start to feel numb,detached or like you're just
going through the motions inlife.
This is your body's way ofcoping with suppressed emotions,
but over time it can lead toburnout, resentment and mental
(09:09):
exhaustion.
Healthy alternative Instead ofsuppressing feelings, practice
(09:29):
emotional check-ins.
The takeaway Recognizing thesesigns is the first step to
breaking free from toxicpositivity and embracing a more
balanced, emotionally healthymindset.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to cultivate healthy
emotional acceptance, embracingthe full range of emotions
without falling into negativityor toxic positivity.
How to embrace authenticpositivity without suppressing
emotions.
Breaking free from toxicpositivity doesn't mean
(09:51):
embracing negativity.
It means making space for real,balanced emotional health.
True positivity is not aboutignoring the hard parts of life.
It's about acknowledging themwhile still believing in growth,
healing and resilience.
So how do we cultivateauthentic positivity without
falling into the trap ofsuppressing our emotions?
One acknowledge and accept allemotions.
(10:15):
The first step in breaking freefrom toxic positivity is
understanding that all emotionsserve a purpose.
Sadness, anger, disappointmentand frustration are not bad
emotions.
They are signals that somethingin your life needs attention.
Instead of saying I shouldn'tfeel this way, try, I'm allowed
(10:38):
to feel this.
What is my emotion trying totell me?
Every emotion is valid andignoring them only causes more
harm in the long run.
Two replace toxic positivitywith healthy optimism.
Two replace toxic positivitywith healthy optimism.
Being hopeful and optimistic isa beautiful thing, but it
should never come at the expenseof your emotional truth.
(10:59):
Instead of denying reality,embrace realistic optimism.
Instead of saying everythinghappens for a reason try this is
difficult, but I trust that Iwill find a way through it
Instead of saying just begrateful.
Try I appreciate the good in mylife while allowing myself to
process my struggles.
This shift allows you to beboth positive and realistic
(11:22):
without invalidating your ownexperience.
Third, stop judging yourself orothers for feeling negative
emotions.
Stop judging yourself or othersfor feeling negative emotions.
Many people struggle with theidea that being sad, angry or
overwhelmed means they are weak.
But emotions are not a weakness, they are human.
If you find yourself judgingyour own emotions, pause and ask
(11:44):
Would I say this to a friendwho was struggling?
What if my emotions were hereto guide me, not harm me?
When you allow emotions toexist without judgment, you
create space for true healing.
Practice emotional validation inconversations.
When someone opens up to you,how you respond matters Instead
(12:04):
of rushing to offer solutions orpushing positivity.
Practice active listening andvalidation.
Instead of saying don't worry,it'll all be, all be fine, try.
I can see why that would behard, I'm here for you.
Instead of saying at least it'snot worse, try.
That sounds really painful.
I appreciate you sharing thiswith me.
(12:24):
Validation allows people tofeel heard and supported, which
is far more healing than forcedpositivity.
Five create a safe space foremotions in your own life.
If you've spent yearssuppressing emotions, it can
feel uncomfortable to startexpressing them, but creating a
healthy emotional outlet isessential for mental well-being.
(12:45):
Journaling Write freely aboutwhat you're feeling, without
judgment, therapy or coaching.
Speaking with a professionalcan help you process emotions in
a supportive space.
Mindfulness and meditation.
Instead of running fromemotions, practice sitting with
them.
Artistic expression, music,painting, movement creative
(13:07):
outlets allow emotions to flownaturally.
Give yourself permission tofeel.
Your emotions don't need to befixed.
They need to be heard.
Six embrace emotional resilienceover toxic positivity.
Resilience isn't about ignoringpain.
It's about acknowledging painand moving through it with
self-compassion, instead ofsaying I have to be strong all
(13:30):
the time.
Try.
Strength comes from allowingmyself to feel and heal.
Instead of saying I need to getover this quickly.
Try.
Healing is a journey and I willgive myself the time I need.
Resilience is about growththrough experience, not
avoidance.
The takeaway Authenticpositivity means embracing the
(13:51):
full range of emotions, not justthe happy ones.
It means making room for hopeand healing without invalidating
struggles.
And, most importantly, it meansgiving yourself and others
permission to be human.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to set boundaries
with toxic positivity in yourrelationships and social circles
.
Setting boundaries with toxicpositivity.
(14:14):
Once you recognize toxicpositivity for what it is, the
next step is learning how toprotect yourself from it,
especially when it comes fromfriends, family, social media or
even your own self-talk.
Setting boundaries isn't aboutshutting people out.
It's about making it clear thatyour emotions deserve to be
acknowledged and respected.
Let's explore how to sethealthy boundaries when
(14:36):
confronted with toxic positivity.
One set clear expectations andconversations.
If you have people in your lifewho constantly dismiss your
feelings with, just staypositive, or it could be worse
it's okay to set boundariesaround how you want to be
supported.
Instead of staying silent whensomeone invalidates your
(14:57):
emotions, try saying Instead ofstaying silent when someone
invalidates your emotions, trysaying I know you mean well, but
right now I just need to beheard.
I don't need a solution, justsomeone to listen.
Can we sit with this for amoment before jumping to the
bright side?
By gently redirecting theconversation, you teach others
(15:19):
that true support meansacknowledging emotions, not
silencing them.
Two distance yourself fromoverly positive spaces that feel
inauthentic.
Some environments, like socialmedia or certain self-help
communities, push toxicpositivity hard.
If you feel drained orinvalidated by constant messages
(15:42):
of good vibes only or nonegativity allowed, it may be
time to create some space.
Unfollow accounts that make youfeel guilty for experiencing
negative emotions.
Limit time with people whopressure you to be positive at
all times.
Surround yourself with balancedperspectives, those who
encourage both optimism andemotional honesty.
A healthy space welcomes allemotions, not just the
convenient ones.
Third challenge toxic positivity.
(16:03):
When you see it, toxicpositivity isn't always
intentional.
Many people don't realizethey're doing it.
If you notice a friend or lovedone dismissing emotions with
forced positivity, you can helpshift the conversation Instead
of letting toxic positivity gounchallenged.
Try responding with.
I appreciate your encouragement, but it's okay to sit with
(16:24):
discomfort.
Sometimes Telling someone tojust be positive can make them
feel unheard.
Maybe we can validate theirfeelings first.
These small shifts help educateothers while fostering a more
supportive, emotionally honestenvironment.
Four create a personal mantra tocombat internalized toxic
positivity.
(16:45):
Sometimes, the worst culprit oftoxic positivity is our own
self-talk.
If you've spent years tellingyourself to just get over it or
stop being negative, it's timeto retrain your inner dialogue.
Instead of I have to staypositive.
Try I am allowed to feel myemotions fully.
Instead of I shouldn't feelthis way.
(17:06):
Try All emotions serve apurpose and I honor them.
Instead of I need to move onquickly.
Try Healing happens at my ownpace and that's okay.
By rewriting the script in yourown mind, you create a
healthier relationship with youremotions.
Five Seek out emotionally saferelationships.
(17:28):
Not everyone will respect youremotional boundaries, and that's
okay.
Your job is to find people whodo.
Surround yourself with friendsand mentors who listen without
judgment.
Engage in relationships whereyou feel safe expressing your
full range of emotions.
Choose spaces that value bothhonesty and hope, where
(17:48):
positivity isn't forced butnurtured naturally.
A real support system doesn'tdemand that you stay positive
all the time.
It holds space for you, nomatter where you are emotionally
.
The takeaway Setting boundarieswith toxic positivity means
honoring your emotions anddemanding the same from others.
It's about creating space forreal, meaningful conversations
(18:11):
where struggles aren't dismissedand healing isn't rushed.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to cultivate a truly
supportive mindset, one thatembraces both hope and emotional
honesty, building a healthymindset that honors all emotions
.
The goal isn't to rejectpositivity.
It's to embrace a balanced,authentic mindset that allows
(18:32):
space for both joy and struggle,hope and hardship and hardship.
True emotional well-being comesfrom accepting and processing
emotions in a healthy way,rather than suppressing them or
forcing a fake smile.
So how can we create a mindsetthat supports genuine growth,
healing and resilience withoutfalling into the trap of toxic
(18:53):
positivity?
One reframe positivity as a tool, not a rule.
One reframe positivity as atool, not a rule.
Positivity is powerful, butonly when it's used correctly.
Instead of treating positivityas an obligation where you force
yourself to be happy, think ofit as a choice, one that you can
use when it genuinely servesyou.
Instead of saying I must alwaysbe positive, try I choose
(19:19):
optimism when it feels right,but I allow myself to feel all
emotions.
Genuine positivity is flexible,not forced.
Two practice emotional honestyeven when it's uncomfortable.
Being honest with yourselfabout how you feel can be
difficult, especially if you'vebeen taught to push negativity
(19:39):
away, but real healing happenswhen you stop fighting your
emotions and start allowing themto be present.
Try asking yourself what am Itruly feeling right now?
Have I been avoiding certainemotions?
What do I need at this moment?
Comfort, rest, support orrelease?
Giving yourself permission toacknowledge and sit with
(20:00):
emotions creates deeperemotional strength over time.
Three develop a both-inmentality.
Life is not black and white.
You can experience multipleemotions at once.
Instead of feeling like youhave to choose between happiness
and sadness, allow them tocoexist.
You can be grateful for whatyou have and still feel sad.
Allow them to coexist.
You can be grateful for whatyou have and still feel sad
(20:22):
about what you've lost.
You can be hopeful for thefuture and still acknowledge
your present struggles.
You can have moments of joyeven in the middle of a
difficult season.
True emotional wellness meansaccepting all parts of the
experience, not just the happymoments.
(20:42):
Fourth shift from fixing tofeeling.
One of the biggest dangers oftoxic positivity is the idea
that negative emotions need tobe fixed immediately.
But the truth is you don't needto fix your emotions, you just
need to feel them.
If you're sad, let yourselfgrieve.
If you're frustrated, expressit in a healthy way.
If you're anxious, acknowledgeit rather than ignoring it.
(21:04):
Emotions are not problems.
They are information.
Listen to what they are tellingyou.
Five surround yourself withemotionally healthy people.
Your environment plays a hugerole in your mindset.
If you're constantly aroundpeople who shut down real
conversations with toxicpositivity, it can make you feel
like your emotions are wrong orburdensome.
(21:25):
Instead, seek out relationshipsthat allow space for both joy
and struggle.
Validate emotions instead ofdismissing them.
Encourage healthy processinginstead of forced positivity.
A supportive community willhelp you grow, not pressure you
to pretend.
Six use mindfulness to staypresent with your emotions.
Mindfulness is a powerful toolto recognize and accept emotions
(21:50):
without judgment.
Instead of trying to change howyou feel, practice simply
observing your emotions as theycome and go.
Breathing exercises Deepbreathing can help you sit with
difficult emotions instead ofpushing them away.
Body scans Noticing whereemotions show up in your body,
tight chest, heavy shoulders canhelp you process them fully.
(22:11):
Grounding techniques Engagingyour senses, touch, sound sight
can keep you present whenemotions feel overwhelming.
By practicing mindful awareness, you develop a deeper
connection with your emotionswithout being controlled by them
.
Seven give yourself permissionto feel joy without guilt.
(22:32):
While it's important to honornegative emotions, don't forget
that you also deserve happiness,and it's okay to embrace it
fully when it comes.
Laugh when you feel joy,celebrate your wins, big and
small.
Allow yourself to feel momentsof peace, even during hard times
.
Embracing all emotions doesn'tmean you have to stay in the
heavy ones.
It means allowing yourself toexperience the full depth of
(22:55):
human emotions, without judgment.
The takeaway A healthy mindsetdoesn't reject positivity.
It balances it with emotionalhonesty.
By learning to accept, processand express emotions in a real
way, you can cultivate a lifethat is not only happier, but
also deeper, richer and moreauthentic.
(23:16):
In the next section, we'll wrapup with final thoughts on
overcoming toxic positivity andembracing emotional freedom.
Conclusion embracing emotionalfreedom beyond toxic positivity.
We've explored the hiddendangers of toxic positivity, how
it shows up in our lives and,most importantly, how to replace
it with authentic emotionalwell-being.
(23:37):
Now it's time to takeeverything we've learned and put
it into action, choosingemotional honesty over
suppression, balance overextremes and real growth over
forced happiness.
One the truth about emotionalfreedom Emotional freedom
doesn't mean always feelinghappy.
It means allowing yourself tofeel everything without guilt or
(24:00):
shame.
It means accepting sadness,anger and frustration as natural
emotions, honoring yourstruggles without forcing a
silver lining, giving yourselfpermission to process emotions
in your own time, letting go ofthe pressure to always be okay
for the sake of others.
When you stop fearing negativeemotions and start listening to
(24:22):
them, you gain real emotionalstrength.
Two you are not negative forfeeling negative emotions.
Society often labels people asnegative or weak if they express
pain, sadness or frustration.
But the reality is expressingemotions is a sign of strength
or frustration.
But the reality is expressingemotions is a sign of strength,
not weakness.
(24:42):
Being vulnerable builds realconnections, not isolation.
Honoring your emotions leads tohealing, not suffering.
You don't have to be strong allthe time, you just have to be
real.
Three surround yourself withemotional honesty.
If you take one thing away fromthis episode, let it be this
(25:03):
Find people who hold space forall of your emotions, not just
the happy ones.
Be that person for yourself andothers.
Choose relationships that allowyou to express, heal and grow
without judgment.
The more we normalize realemotions, the more we create a
world where people feel seen,heard and supported.
Four a final reminder it's okayto feel.
(25:25):
You don't have to fix yourself.
You don't have to force a smile.
You don't have to carry theweight of positivity at all
times.
You are allowed to be human, tofeel deeply, to struggle, to
heal at your own pace, and thatis more than enough.
Let's continue this conversation.
If this episode resonated withyou, I'd love to hear your
(25:45):
thoughts.
How has toxic positivity shownup in your life?
How are you working to embraceemotional honesty?
Join the conversation onInstagram and Facebook at Life
Points with Rhonda.
Subscribe to my YouTube channelLife Points with Rhonda 2968,
for more deep dives intopersonal growth and
relationships.
Visit LifePointsWithRhondacomfor coaching, blog articles and
(26:09):
resources.
If you found this episodevaluable, please share it with
someone who needs to hear thismessage.
Let's keep spreading the truthabout real healing, real
emotions and real support.
Until next time, take care ofyour emotions, thank you.
Imagine you're drowning in a sea of emotions
pain, grief, anger but everytime you reach for help, you're
met with the same response Juststay positive.
Your struggle's dismissed, yourpain ignored and your reality
reduced to a hollow phrase.
Good vibes only.
But what happens whenpositivity becomes a prison,
when forcing a smile comes atthe cost of your mental health,
(00:23):
when you're not allowed to feelanything but happiness?
This isn't self-care, thisisn't growth.
This is toxic positivity, andtoday we're going to expose its
dangers.
Uncover the truth behind whysuppressing emotions can be more
harmful than healing and, mostimportantly, learn how to
embrace real, balanced andhealthy emotional well-being.
(00:46):
Before we dive deep into thiscritical conversation, I want to
take a moment to connect withyou.
If you find value in thesediscussions and believe in the
importance of real, honestconversations about mental
health, relationships andself-growth, make sure to
subscribe to Life Points withRhonda on your favorite podcast
(01:07):
platform.
Follow me on YouTube at LifePoints with Rhonda 2968 for more
in-depth content.
Join me on Instagram andFacebook at Life Points with
Rhonda for daily insights,motivation and community
discussions.
Visit my website,lifepointswithrhondacom to book
one-on-one coaching, explore myblog and check out my latest
(01:29):
offerings, and if this episoderesonates with you, share it
with someone who needs to hearit.
Let's break the cycle of toxicpositivity together.
Now let's get into it.
Welcome back to Life Points withRonda, where we navigate the
complexities of relationships,self-growth and the real-life
challenges that shape ourwell-being.
I'm your host, rhonda, andtoday we're diving into a topic
(01:52):
that many don't even realize isharming them toxic positivity.
We live in a world where socialmedia, self-help culture and
even our closest friendsencourage us to always look on
the bright side and staypositive.
But what happens whenpositivity is forced, when
emotions like sadness,frustration or grief are treated
(02:12):
as weaknesses, when good vibesonly becomes a silencing tool
rather than a source of healing?
In this episode, we're breakingdown the hidden dangers of
toxic positivity, how it impactsmental health and why embracing
a full spectrum of emotions iscrucial for true growth and
resilience.
So if you've ever felt likeyour struggles were dismissed,
(02:33):
if you've been told to just begrateful when you were really
hurting, or if you've forcedyourself to suppress emotions
just to appear strong, thisepisode is for you.
Let's break free from thepressure of fake happiness and
start embracing real, authenticemotional well-being,
understanding toxic positivitywhat it is and why it's harmful.
(02:54):
Toxic positivity is the beliefthat, no matter how difficult or
painful a situation may be,people should maintain a
positive mindset at all times.
While optimism and gratitudeare valuable tools for
resilience, toxic positivitytakes things a step too far.
It dismisses or invalidatesreal emotions by insisting that
(03:16):
negativity has no place in ourlives.
You've probably encounteredtoxic positivity in many forms.
Everything happens for a reason.
It could be worse.
Just be grateful, don't for areason?
It could be worse, just begrateful.
Don't be so negative, justthink happy thoughts.
Stop dwelling on it and move on.
At first glance, thesestatements may seem
well-intentioned, but whensomeone is struggling, whether
(03:37):
with grief, depression, anxietyor personal hardships, being
told to simply stay positive canfeel dismissive, even harmful.
Why is toxic positivity harmful?
It suppresses real emotions.
When people are told to focusonly on the positive, they may
feel ashamed or guilty forexperiencing normal human
(03:58):
emotions like sadness,frustration or anger.
This can lead to emotionalsuppression, which has been
linked to increased stress,frustration or anger.
This can lead to emotionalsuppression, which has been
linked to increased stress,anxiety and even physical health
issues.
Over time, it creates emotionalisolation.
If someone constantly hearsthat they should just stay
positive, they may start tobelieve that their feelings are
(04:19):
a burden to others.
This can cause them to withdraw, suffer in silence and feel
even more alone in theirstruggles.
It invalidates real struggles.
Life is filled with challenges,and emotions like sadness,
grief and anger are naturalresponses to those challenges.
When someone is told to simplymove on or look at the bright
(04:41):
side, their pain is minimized,making them feel as if their
struggles don't matter.
It promotes inauthenticity.
People who feel pressured toalways appear happy may put on a
fake smile while secretlystruggling inside.
This disconnection from theirtrue emotions can lead to
burnout, resentment and deepermental health issues.
(05:03):
Toxic positivity versus healthypositivity it's important to
clarify.
Positivity itself is not theproblem.
Having a hopeful outlook can bea powerful tool for resilience.
The problem is when positivityis used to dismiss, deny or
suppress real emotions ratherthan honor and process them.
(05:23):
Healthy positivity says Iacknowledge my pain, but I also
know that healing is possible.
Toxic positivity says I refuseto feel anything negative and
neither should you.
True growth comes fromaccepting all emotions, not just
the happy ones.
Signs you might be experiencingtoxic positivity.
Toxic positivity can be subtleand deeply ingrained in our
(05:46):
mindset, relationships and evenour self-talk.
Many of us have beenconditioned to believe that
staying positive is the only wayto cope with challenges.
But if positivity comes at thecost of your mental and
emotional well-being, it's nolonger serving you.
It's harming you.
Here are some clear signs thatyou might be experiencing, or
(06:07):
engaging in, toxic positivity.
One you feel guilty for havingnegative emotions.
Do you ever catch yourselfthinking I shouldn't feel this
way?
Other people have it worse.
This is a classic sign of toxicpositivity.
While perspective is important,this is a classic sign of toxic
positivity.
While perspective is important,comparing struggles doesn't
(06:29):
make your pain any less valid.
Healthy alternative Remindyourself that all emotions are
valid.
You are allowed to feel sadness, frustration or anger without
guilt.
Two you constantly forceyourself to look on the bright
side.
If you find yourself forcingoptimism, even when you're
deeply struggling, you may besuppressing emotions instead of
(06:50):
processing them.
This can build up stress andanxiety, making you feel
emotionally exhausted over time.
Healthy alternative Instead oftrying to immediately fix your
emotions, give yourself space toacknowledge them.
True healing starts withacceptance.
Three you avoid talking aboutdifficult topics.
Do you hesitate to share yourstruggles because you don't want
(07:14):
to bring down the mood?
Toxic positivity often makespeople feel like they must
suffer in silence to avoid beingseen as negative or too much
for others.
Healthy alternative surroundyourself with people who
encourage open, honestconversations, ones who listen
without judgment and validateyour emotions.
Four others Dismiss yourfeelings with overly positive
(07:38):
responses.
If you've ever opened up abouta personal struggle and been met
with phrases like just begrateful, everything happens for
a reason, or don't dwell on it,you've experienced toxic
positivity firsthand.
These responses may seemencouraging, but they often
dismiss the complexity of whatyou're feeling.
Healthy alternative seek outrelationships where your
(08:00):
emotions are met withunderstanding, not avoidance.
Five you push others to staypositive instead of validating
their feelings.
Toxic positivity isn't justsomething we experience.
It's something we mayunknowingly project onto others.
If you tend to offer solutionstoo quickly or rush people to
find a silver lining, you may beengaging in toxic positivity
(08:24):
yourself.
Healthy alternative Next timesomeone shares their struggles,
listen first Instead of sayingstay positive.
Zarinia, that sounds reallytough.
I'm here for you.
I can see why that would bepainful.
Do you want to talk about it?
Empathy heals more than forcedpositivity ever could.
(08:48):
Six you feel emotionallydisconnected or numb.
If you've been avoidingdifficult emotions for too long,
you may start to feel numb,detached or like you're just
going through the motions inlife.
This is your body's way ofcoping with suppressed emotions,
but over time it can lead toburnout, resentment and mental
(09:09):
exhaustion.
Healthy alternative Instead ofsuppressing feelings, practice
(09:29):
emotional check-ins.
The takeaway Recognizing thesesigns is the first step to
breaking free from toxicpositivity and embracing a more
balanced, emotionally healthymindset.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to cultivate healthy
emotional acceptance, embracingthe full range of emotions
without falling into negativityor toxic positivity.
How to embrace authenticpositivity without suppressing
emotions.
Breaking free from toxicpositivity doesn't mean
(09:51):
embracing negativity.
It means making space for real,balanced emotional health.
True positivity is not aboutignoring the hard parts of life.
It's about acknowledging themwhile still believing in growth,
healing and resilience.
So how do we cultivateauthentic positivity without
falling into the trap ofsuppressing our emotions?
One acknowledge and accept allemotions.
(10:15):
The first step in breaking freefrom toxic positivity is
understanding that all emotionsserve a purpose.
Sadness, anger, disappointmentand frustration are not bad
emotions.
They are signals that somethingin your life needs attention.
Instead of saying I shouldn'tfeel this way, try, I'm allowed
(10:38):
to feel this.
What is my emotion trying totell me?
Every emotion is valid andignoring them only causes more
harm in the long run.
Two replace toxic positivitywith healthy optimism.
Two replace toxic positivitywith healthy optimism.
Being hopeful and optimistic isa beautiful thing, but it
should never come at the expenseof your emotional truth.
(10:59):
Instead of denying reality,embrace realistic optimism.
Instead of saying everythinghappens for a reason try this is
difficult, but I trust that Iwill find a way through it
Instead of saying just begrateful.
Try I appreciate the good in mylife while allowing myself to
process my struggles.
This shift allows you to beboth positive and realistic
(11:22):
without invalidating your ownexperience.
Third, stop judging yourself orothers for feeling negative
emotions.
Stop judging yourself or othersfor feeling negative emotions.
Many people struggle with theidea that being sad, angry or
overwhelmed means they are weak.
But emotions are not a weakness, they are human.
If you find yourself judgingyour own emotions, pause and ask
(11:44):
Would I say this to a friendwho was struggling?
What if my emotions were hereto guide me, not harm me?
When you allow emotions toexist without judgment, you
create space for true healing.
Practice emotional validation inconversations.
When someone opens up to you,how you respond matters Instead
(12:04):
of rushing to offer solutions orpushing positivity.
Practice active listening andvalidation.
Instead of saying don't worry,it'll all be, all be fine, try.
I can see why that would behard, I'm here for you.
Instead of saying at least it'snot worse, try.
That sounds really painful.
I appreciate you sharing thiswith me.
(12:24):
Validation allows people tofeel heard and supported, which
is far more healing than forcedpositivity.
Five create a safe space foremotions in your own life.
If you've spent yearssuppressing emotions, it can
feel uncomfortable to startexpressing them, but creating a
healthy emotional outlet isessential for mental well-being.
(12:45):
Journaling Write freely aboutwhat you're feeling, without
judgment, therapy or coaching.
Speaking with a professionalcan help you process emotions in
a supportive space.
Mindfulness and meditation.
Instead of running fromemotions, practice sitting with
them.
Artistic expression, music,painting, movement creative
(13:07):
outlets allow emotions to flownaturally.
Give yourself permission tofeel.
Your emotions don't need to befixed.
They need to be heard.
Six embrace emotional resilienceover toxic positivity.
Resilience isn't about ignoringpain.
It's about acknowledging painand moving through it with
self-compassion, instead ofsaying I have to be strong all
(13:30):
the time.
Try.
Strength comes from allowingmyself to feel and heal.
Instead of saying I need to getover this quickly.
Try.
Healing is a journey and I willgive myself the time I need.
Resilience is about growththrough experience, not
avoidance.
The takeaway Authenticpositivity means embracing the
(13:51):
full range of emotions, not justthe happy ones.
It means making room for hopeand healing without invalidating
struggles.
And, most importantly, it meansgiving yourself and others
permission to be human.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to set boundaries
with toxic positivity in yourrelationships and social circles
.
Setting boundaries with toxicpositivity.
(14:14):
Once you recognize toxicpositivity for what it is, the
next step is learning how toprotect yourself from it,
especially when it comes fromfriends, family, social media or
even your own self-talk.
Setting boundaries isn't aboutshutting people out.
It's about making it clear thatyour emotions deserve to be
acknowledged and respected.
Let's explore how to sethealthy boundaries when
(14:36):
confronted with toxic positivity.
One set clear expectations andconversations.
If you have people in your lifewho constantly dismiss your
feelings with, just staypositive, or it could be worse
it's okay to set boundariesaround how you want to be
supported.
Instead of staying silent whensomeone invalidates your
(14:57):
emotions, try saying Instead ofstaying silent when someone
invalidates your emotions, trysaying I know you mean well, but
right now I just need to beheard.
I don't need a solution, justsomeone to listen.
Can we sit with this for amoment before jumping to the
bright side?
By gently redirecting theconversation, you teach others
(15:19):
that true support meansacknowledging emotions, not
silencing them.
Two distance yourself fromoverly positive spaces that feel
inauthentic.
Some environments, like socialmedia or certain self-help
communities, push toxicpositivity hard.
If you feel drained orinvalidated by constant messages
(15:42):
of good vibes only or nonegativity allowed, it may be
time to create some space.
Unfollow accounts that make youfeel guilty for experiencing
negative emotions.
Limit time with people whopressure you to be positive at
all times.
Surround yourself with balancedperspectives, those who
encourage both optimism andemotional honesty.
A healthy space welcomes allemotions, not just the
convenient ones.
Third challenge toxic positivity.
(16:03):
When you see it, toxicpositivity isn't always
intentional.
Many people don't realizethey're doing it.
If you notice a friend or lovedone dismissing emotions with
forced positivity, you can helpshift the conversation Instead
of letting toxic positivity gounchallenged.
Try responding with.
I appreciate your encouragement, but it's okay to sit with
(16:24):
discomfort.
Sometimes Telling someone tojust be positive can make them
feel unheard.
Maybe we can validate theirfeelings first.
These small shifts help educateothers while fostering a more
supportive, emotionally honestenvironment.
Four create a personal mantra tocombat internalized toxic
positivity.
(16:45):
Sometimes, the worst culprit oftoxic positivity is our own
self-talk.
If you've spent years tellingyourself to just get over it or
stop being negative, it's timeto retrain your inner dialogue.
Instead of I have to staypositive.
Try I am allowed to feel myemotions fully.
Instead of I shouldn't feelthis way.
(17:06):
Try All emotions serve apurpose and I honor them.
Instead of I need to move onquickly.
Try Healing happens at my ownpace and that's okay.
By rewriting the script in yourown mind, you create a
healthier relationship with youremotions.
Five Seek out emotionally saferelationships.
(17:28):
Not everyone will respect youremotional boundaries, and that's
okay.
Your job is to find people whodo.
Surround yourself with friendsand mentors who listen without
judgment.
Engage in relationships whereyou feel safe expressing your
full range of emotions.
Choose spaces that value bothhonesty and hope, where
(17:48):
positivity isn't forced butnurtured naturally.
A real support system doesn'tdemand that you stay positive
all the time.
It holds space for you, nomatter where you are emotionally
.
The takeaway Setting boundarieswith toxic positivity means
honoring your emotions anddemanding the same from others.
It's about creating space forreal, meaningful conversations
(18:11):
where struggles aren't dismissedand healing isn't rushed.
In the next section, we'lldiscuss how to cultivate a truly
supportive mindset, one thatembraces both hope and emotional
honesty, building a healthymindset that honors all emotions
.
The goal isn't to rejectpositivity.
It's to embrace a balanced,authentic mindset that allows
(18:32):
space for both joy and struggle,hope and hardship and hardship.
True emotional well-being comesfrom accepting and processing
emotions in a healthy way,rather than suppressing them or
forcing a fake smile.
So how can we create a mindsetthat supports genuine growth,
healing and resilience withoutfalling into the trap of toxic
(18:53):
positivity?
One reframe positivity as a tool, not a rule.
One reframe positivity as atool, not a rule.
Positivity is powerful, butonly when it's used correctly.
Instead of treating positivityas an obligation where you force
yourself to be happy, think ofit as a choice, one that you can
use when it genuinely servesyou.
Instead of saying I must alwaysbe positive, try I choose
(19:19):
optimism when it feels right,but I allow myself to feel all
emotions.
Genuine positivity is flexible,not forced.
Two practice emotional honestyeven when it's uncomfortable.
Being honest with yourselfabout how you feel can be
difficult, especially if you'vebeen taught to push negativity
(19:39):
away, but real healing happenswhen you stop fighting your
emotions and start allowing themto be present.
Try asking yourself what am Itruly feeling right now?
Have I been avoiding certainemotions?
What do I need at this moment?
Comfort, rest, support orrelease?
Giving yourself permission toacknowledge and sit with
(20:00):
emotions creates deeperemotional strength over time.
Three develop a both-inmentality.
Life is not black and white.
You can experience multipleemotions at once.
Instead of feeling like youhave to choose between happiness
and sadness, allow them tocoexist.
You can be grateful for whatyou have and still feel sad.
Allow them to coexist.
You can be grateful for whatyou have and still feel sad
(20:22):
about what you've lost.
You can be hopeful for thefuture and still acknowledge
your present struggles.
You can have moments of joyeven in the middle of a
difficult season.
True emotional wellness meansaccepting all parts of the
experience, not just the happymoments.
(20:42):
Fourth shift from fixing tofeeling.
One of the biggest dangers oftoxic positivity is the idea
that negative emotions need tobe fixed immediately.
But the truth is you don't needto fix your emotions, you just
need to feel them.
If you're sad, let yourselfgrieve.
If you're frustrated, expressit in a healthy way.
If you're anxious, acknowledgeit rather than ignoring it.
(21:04):
Emotions are not problems.
They are information.
Listen to what they are tellingyou.
Five surround yourself withemotionally healthy people.
Your environment plays a hugerole in your mindset.
If you're constantly aroundpeople who shut down real
conversations with toxicpositivity, it can make you feel
like your emotions are wrong orburdensome.
(21:25):
Instead, seek out relationshipsthat allow space for both joy
and struggle.
Validate emotions instead ofdismissing them.
Encourage healthy processinginstead of forced positivity.
A supportive community willhelp you grow, not pressure you
to pretend.
Six use mindfulness to staypresent with your emotions.
Mindfulness is a powerful toolto recognize and accept emotions
(21:50):
without judgment.
Instead of trying to change howyou feel, practice simply
observing your emotions as theycome and go.
Breathing exercises Deepbreathing can help you sit with
difficult emotions instead ofpushing them away.
Body scans Noticing whereemotions show up in your body,
tight chest, heavy shoulders canhelp you process them fully.
(22:11):
Grounding techniques Engagingyour senses, touch, sound sight
can keep you present whenemotions feel overwhelming.
By practicing mindful awareness, you develop a deeper
connection with your emotionswithout being controlled by them
.
Seven give yourself permissionto feel joy without guilt.
(22:32):
While it's important to honornegative emotions, don't forget
that you also deserve happiness,and it's okay to embrace it
fully when it comes.
Laugh when you feel joy,celebrate your wins, big and
small.
Allow yourself to feel momentsof peace, even during hard times
.
Embracing all emotions doesn'tmean you have to stay in the
heavy ones.
It means allowing yourself toexperience the full depth of
(22:55):
human emotions, without judgment.
The takeaway A healthy mindsetdoesn't reject positivity.
It balances it with emotionalhonesty.
By learning to accept, processand express emotions in a real
way, you can cultivate a lifethat is not only happier, but
also deeper, richer and moreauthentic.
(23:16):
In the next section, we'll wrapup with final thoughts on
overcoming toxic positivity andembracing emotional freedom.
Conclusion embracing emotionalfreedom beyond toxic positivity.
We've explored the hiddendangers of toxic positivity, how
it shows up in our lives and,most importantly, how to replace
it with authentic emotionalwell-being.
(23:37):
Now it's time to takeeverything we've learned and put
it into action, choosingemotional honesty over
suppression, balance overextremes and real growth over
forced happiness.
One the truth about emotionalfreedom Emotional freedom
doesn't mean always feelinghappy.
It means allowing yourself tofeel everything without guilt or
(24:00):
shame.
It means accepting sadness,anger and frustration as natural
emotions, honoring yourstruggles without forcing a
silver lining, giving yourselfpermission to process emotions
in your own time, letting go ofthe pressure to always be okay
for the sake of others.
When you stop fearing negativeemotions and start listening to
(24:22):
them, you gain real emotionalstrength.
Two you are not negative forfeeling negative emotions.
Society often labels people asnegative or weak if they express
pain, sadness or frustration.
But the reality is expressingemotions is a sign of strength
or frustration.
But the reality is expressingemotions is a sign of strength,
not weakness.
(24:42):
Being vulnerable builds realconnections, not isolation.
Honoring your emotions leads tohealing, not suffering.
You don't have to be strong allthe time, you just have to be
real.
Three surround yourself withemotional honesty.
If you take one thing away fromthis episode, let it be this
(25:03):
Find people who hold space forall of your emotions, not just
the happy ones.
Be that person for yourself andothers.
Choose relationships that allowyou to express, heal and grow
without judgment.
The more we normalize realemotions, the more we create a
world where people feel seen,heard and supported.
Four a final reminder it's okayto feel.
(25:25):
You don't have to fix yourself.
You don't have to force a smile.
You don't have to carry theweight of positivity at all
times.
You are allowed to be human, tofeel deeply, to struggle, to
heal at your own pace, and thatis more than enough.
Let's continue this conversation.
If this episode resonated withyou, I'd love to hear your
(25:45):
thoughts.
How has toxic positivity shownup in your life?
How are you working to embraceemotional honesty?
Join the conversation onInstagram and Facebook at Life
Points with Rhonda.
Subscribe to my YouTube channelLife Points with Rhonda 2968,
for more deep dives intopersonal growth and
relationships.
Visit LifePointsWithRhondacomfor coaching, blog articles and
(26:09):
resources.
If you found this episodevaluable, please share it with
someone who needs to hear thismessage.
Let's keep spreading the truthabout real healing, real
emotions and real support.
Until next time, take care ofyour emotions, thank you.
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