February 12, 2024 • 61 mins
introduce you to Trey, a quadriplegic whose zest for life is as contagious as his expertise in navigating the gaming world with the aid of a QuadStick. His story isn't just about technology; it's about human connections, the bond with caregivers, and the shared moments that transcend physical limitations.
Embark on a journey through the peaks and valleys of rehabilitation, where emotions run as deep as the relationships that are forged in fire. We tackle the tough conversations about the fear and vulnerability felt in the silence of hospital nights, the unspoken heroism of family members who become caregivers, and the sheer willpower needed to continue education against all odds. This episode isn't about sugarcoating reality; it's a heartfelt reflection on the true grit it takes to master new ways of independence and the milestones that are celebrated along the way, like navigating a wheelchair to prom.
Our narrative comes full circle with stories of resilience, including a serendipitous encounter with Max that led to the creation of this podcast. Tighten your grip on hope as we recall interactions with Make-A-Wish recipients and witness how Tray's unwavering work ethic and determination inspire everyone he meets. This episode is a tapestry woven from threads of perseverance, motivation, and life-changing friendships that showcase the enduring power of the human spirit. So tune in, and let's honor the courage of those who, despite life's battles, continue to push forward and inspire us all.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What do you mean?
That's all Except me and Max inthe cut.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We don't give two shifts and we don't give a fuck.
That's what we do, and shit toprove we live in life, live in
life to the max.
Live in life, live in life tothe max, to the max, just like
my podcast Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Welcome back to another episode of Life, to the
Max.
Once upon a time I was like yo,Max, Dave Chappelle's coming to
Chicago.
Let's go to the United Centerand see Dave Chappelle.
We get there.
I'm looking for my dad.
I get Max set up, I leave andwhile I'm looking for my dad I
see Trey, Paralyzed from theneck down, breathing through a
machine.
I follow in his dreams.
(00:51):
I say yo, I gotta get you on apodcast.
I gotta get Max acquainted withanother quad, another
quadripleasure.
Yeah we're gonna get into Trey'sinterview right after the intro
.
Max.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, we might be paralyzed for a neck down,
breathing through a machine, butthat doesn't stop us from
following our dreams and doingwhat we love to do.
I don't got an excuse, andneither do you, should you?
Let's get into Trey's episode.
The first guy I've ever had onthe podcast, that's kind of like
me.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah, that's what.
I've been saying since thebeginning, Because Max would
always tell me you don'tunderstand what it's like, I'm
like.
All right, my goal is to findsomebody that understands what
it's like Every injury isdifferent, though, every injury
is different.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I told him about my nerve pain.
He doesn't have a nerve painLike his throat.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
All right, next quadripleasure you got to find
I'll make sure you have nervepain.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I have nerve pain, but not in my throat, In my
hands and going down in my legsis real bad, Like keeps me up at
night.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So tell me about yourself, man.
What do you answer?
You study like football.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Football, I like basketball, I like gaming, you
game.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
How do you game?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
So it's this device, quad stick.
Shout out to Fred.
I know Fred.
Yeah, yeah, lifesaver, I'm ableto be on my computer, like when
I'm in my bed.
I'm also able to do it when I'min my chair, but most of the
(02:39):
time it's when I'm in my bed.
You game, what do you play?
My favorite game of all time isa game called God of War.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Everyone knows what God of War is man the best game?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
ever the 2018 version .
It's better.
Yeah, it's better.
I play zombies on Call of DutyNot too much in multiplayer, but
the zombies, me and my oldnurse used to get down on that I
love that.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I love when a caregiver really spends time
with you, because I had acaregiver named Natalia and she
was amazing.
We would always play videogames.
She would play Fortnite.
I love Fortnite.
She would play all these gamesfor me just to watch.
People don't realize.
(03:32):
It's really the little thingslike that that make you happy.
She would sit right next to meand just play these games.
I would feel like I'm playing,you know.
So I love that.
I love when a caregiver bondswith their person, not just with
(03:54):
health care, more like treatingyou like a person.
How old are?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
you man Turn 35.
August 16th Leo.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, yeah, shout out to your zodiac sign.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Yeah, you know, sir.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
For all those girls out there with astronomy I'm an
Aries, so is Eric.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
We're both fire signs A fire podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Fire podcast for real .
So, man, you're paralyzed froman egg down, breathing through a
machine.
I have to ask how did thishappen?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
So March 2nd 2007.
I'm with my brother, we're atthe house.
He asked me hey, you want to goto my aunt's house?
How old were you?
I was 17.
So three months away fromgraduating, and it's a Friday
(05:01):
morning and he's like hey, youwant to go smoke?
I had to go into work.
I'm like, yeah, all right, I'lltake you over over there.
I needed to.
I was trying to fix my radio,so we go over there.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Where is this?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Over my aunt's house.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, is this Aurora.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah in Aurora, yeah in Aurora.
And I pull in the driveway myolder brother.
He asked me to back in.
So I pull out the driveway andin the corner I see somebody at
a stop sign and I'm like thisdude don't look like he's up to
no good.
(05:44):
So I'm going to hit the blockinstead of pulling out and
reversing back in.
So when I pull out and I'mabout to hit the block, all of a
sudden shots Pop, pop, pop, pop.
My brother's like go.
I hit the gas and turn aroundtowards looking at the car.
(06:11):
But as soon as I do that, likeall in one motion, I get hit and
instantly I'm not able to talkanymore or do anything.
I instantly just black out.
So then you're driving andgetting away, and as soon as you
turned around, you got hit.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
As soon as you drive, you're like that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What's the car still moving?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So I hit the gas at the same time and then after
that I don't know anything thathappened.
So you blacked out, I blackedout.
When I'm blacking out, mybrother tries to press the gas
on his own.
So he drives away and pressesthe gas with his hand.
(06:56):
He ends up crashing.
So I hit the wheel again.
I wake up again and then mybrother gets out the car and
gets me out the car.
He's like Tray, I love you, Ilove you.
So the girl when we crash, somegirl comes out.
I remember some girl coming outand my brother was like call
(07:18):
911.
Call 911.
And then he gets out Tray, Ilove you, I love you.
And then that's when I'mthinking this is it, this is
over for the Richard L Winfrey,the third Tray, that's over.
I'm thinking Jonathan, give mea hug and a kiss and tell this
(07:42):
is my farewell.
And then the next thing I canremember is I believe I don't
know if this is heaven, I'm at ahospital.
But I wake up and I look up andI see the white light.
Like everybody Did you see thewhite light when you're waking
(08:05):
up?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No, not waking up.
I saw the white light when Igot in the car accident.
I was actually sleeping when Igot in the car accident and I
vividly remember, just like youknow, blurring like red, red
lights and blue lights and, likeyou know, like from an
ambulance.
And then I, like, I tried tostay awake.
(08:27):
I couldn't breathe, so my mouthwas opening and closing like
this, you know, because Icouldn't breathe.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Saturation was at 80 and I passed out, saw the white
light and then three days laterwoke up in the hospital.
Okay, I'll continue.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I wake up, see the white light, and I'm like, okay,
I'm alive.
Then I go right back and thenthe next thing I wake up.
I wake up in the hospital.
I don't know if it was doctorsaround me or angels, or what?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
And you can't feel anything, you can't move, you
can't breathe.
You can just open your eyes.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Right.
And then the next thing I wakeup in the hospital and they saw
I had to get.
They were going to fly me toMaywood, to Loyola, and like I
got sent to my local hospital.
But then they were going to flyme on a helicopter but the
(09:35):
weather wasn't too good, so Iremember seeing my cousin Gabe
and my homie Kevin and my homiethat we'll get to later about my
job he comes in and train,train, train.
(10:01):
And right before I'm about togo to Maywood, so we're going to
a basketball game, my homie hehoops and they had like You're
still in the hospital right now.
Still in the hospital but before, like, getting shot, like so he
(10:21):
was supposed to come over myhouse, like.
He got into it with his girlthe night before.
He was like can I stay tonight?
And I'm like, yeah, but in theend he ended up not staying the
(10:42):
night or whatever.
But they had an important gameor whatever.
And I guess he was talking tomy dad saying like no, I ain't
going to the game, or whatever.
He, like my dad, ended uptalking him into going and
playing for the game.
(11:02):
He was like I'm going to bringback the net for you, I'm going
to bring back the net.
And, long story short, theyended up winning the what was it
?
Sectional or regional, againstBatavia, I think?
What school?
(11:23):
Yeah, east Royale, okay.
And they ended up winning andcame back like the next day in
Maywood like this is after I gottransferred, or whatever with
the nets around his, around hisneck, around his neck and yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
How long were you in the ICU?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
So I stayed in Maywood for like.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So they flew you no.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So I ended up going there and then staying there for
like two weeks, so before,after, and then after that I had
to go to RIC or whatever, butso you're going to, but before
that I kept on getting thetemperatures and they wouldn't
let me.
Let me go.
(12:17):
So, like the first words I gotto speak were to my girlfriend
at the time was give me a kissand got up.
It was.
It was real hard, like this iswhen I'm on a passing year and
(12:38):
the first word those are myfirst words and I was like hey,
give me a kiss.
And then I got to eat Somepizza hut.
My dad was got me some pizzahut.
Like was my first solid food.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So, so, let's slow down real quick.
So you got to RIC like is thismonths later because it took me.
It took me four months to starteating again and it was
terrible.
I hated it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I couldn't drink.
No, so, believe it or not, youknow the little personal pizza.
I don't know if you did likethe book reports Back in the day
like we used to get, like thesefree personal pan pizzas from
(13:29):
pizza.
I couldn't even finish one, oneslice.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Same here.
When I first had my first solidfood, it was pasta salad.
I couldn't even finish thespoon.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And because my throat muscles were so out, there is
so much atrophy in my throat,like there was a week, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, so it's insane.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I couldn't even, I couldn't even finish a little
personal piece Pizza andsomething we haven't come into
is when I was at the ICU, I onlystayed there for like, for like
, eight days, but I was ready toleave in five days, right.
And when I was at the ICU, theywere going to fly me to Rush.
(14:22):
Okay, I was in Kakeki, okay, sothat's like an hour and a half
away from Chicago.
So they were going to fly me toRush, but they heard that I was
on a vent, a ventilator.
So, they said no.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And I said that broke my heart.
But when I was in the ICU Iwould dream and I would think
I'm in boot camp at RIC and thatI'm going to get everything
back Right.
And I have like a sweatshirt onthat said RIC on it, and I
would wake up and I thought,like you know, the vent was
(15:05):
temporary, you know everything.
So what I'm trying to ask iswhat were your thoughts in the
ICU?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I thought I was like I'm a, I'm a person of faith and
still to this day, especially,you know, growing up in church
and stuff, and you know I hadpeople come, come by and pray
for me and stuff, and like Ithought, yeah, I thought I
(15:35):
thought this was only temporary.
You know I'm saying like 16years later.
You know it's crazy how thingswork out, but really is, and I
thought it was temporary too.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
But when the, when the months went on and okay, so
when I first had a muscle spasm,I freaked out.
I was so excited.
I was like, oh my God, I movedmy hand Right and I knew I
couldn't talk for 15 days.
So it was terrifying and I wentto RIC and I couldn't talk.
(16:13):
It was, it was the mostterrifying thing ever.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And yeah, yeah, man, like I lost my strength.
I thought I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
No, it's good your spasm, oh my the spasm on my
muscle spasm.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I was like, oh my God , my hand moved Like like I'm
going to move again Do you know,what I mean.
And then the spasm is startingto get worse and worse
throughout the months and then Irealized, oh, these are just
spasms.
Yes, they're a good thing,because your nerves are working,
but you're not moving on yourown, and the doctor would tell
me that.
And one thing I hate arefucking doctors that say you're
(16:56):
going to be in the chair for therest of your life.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Because that's not true.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
And the doctor tells you what's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Right Out of the doctor.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't care if a doctor went to freaking Yale and
says he knows all these medicalthings.
You practice medicine.
You don't know medicine, do you?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
know what I mean.
So my mom like, even when thedoctor like came in and you
still go walk like, I canremember like man and it was
crazy.
But no, that's why I can alwaysappreciate my mom, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Mom Rita in the house just over there.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah.
So I have to ask how were youin rehabilitation?
How was your rehab?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
So when I got shot was in March, and then I stayed
in May what?
For like two weeks?
Then got transferred to RIC andthen I stayed until August.
I had to get my house.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, just started to interrupt you.
But what was your therapy like?
What was your mindset?
Like?
Did your girlfriend leave?
My girlfriend left me?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So yeah, so that was my first thought, Like like in
Maywood, like like my home, myhomey, those, like that was my
first thought.
Like she's gone, she's, she's,she's gonna leave me.
But she ended up staying withme for like a year and a year
(18:56):
and a half.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
It's tough man, because the longer they stay and
it's young love, Right, I meanthat's the worst.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I didn't expect her to stay.
You know what I'm saying.
She was, she was young.
She was three years older thanme.
I was 17.
She was 20.
She was 20.
There you go, and I wasactually shot in her car.
I was in her car so, like Iheard, like conspiracy, oh, you
were trying to, and that thatwas never my lane.
(19:27):
Like my lane was, you know,staying out of trouble.
You know, growing up like Iplayed golf.
Believe it or not, people,people will believe that.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
You got Tiger Woods tonight Right.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I played golf, played the clarinet, stayed out.
What else Played the piano?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I played piano too.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Right, Like I had my own lane.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I have to ask the lake.
So when you were in at RAC, youwere in the lake.
I remember.
I remember like distinctly whatthey did.
They always had a schedule.
They would bring the schedulein.
They would tell you whattherapist you're in, what time
you have to wake up, this andthat.
Like it was like military to mewhen I got there, you know.
(20:19):
And what was your mindset likewhen you had occupational
therapy and physical therapy.
And then, bam, you're alonewatching TV.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
So I'll go back a little bit.
So in Maywood they kept onsaying, oh, you're going to the
number one rehabilitation in thecountry, no, in the world, and
that had my hopes up.
So so much, because I'mthinking I'm gonna walk again,
(20:54):
you know, and so I'm still inschool at this time.
So I still got to do like withoccupational.
I'm doing school work like, andI'm tired and you know, doing
physical therapy and stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
When you were doing homework at the hospital.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I had to graduate still.
I had to graduate still.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That's insane.
So how would you like write apaper?
Did you use Dragon's?
Speaker 3 (21:25):
because you know not yet, Not at that time.
So the lady would come in and Iwould have to like talk to her
and say she would have to scribefor me or I would have to, you
know, do math and stuff likethat.
Yeah, I had to still dohomework and do school work.
(21:47):
So when a three girlfriend stuckaround for the hospital, so I
appreciate like what she did forme because, like she gave my
mom a chance to go home as welltoo.
So like when I'm in thehospital I'm never alone, like
somebody's always with me.
(22:09):
So my mom ended up quitting herjob.
Like, just like that snappersnapper with the fingers, quit
her job and then was up therewith me 24 seven.
But on the weekends, likeSaturday, no, she would come up
think Friday and then spend thewhole day with me.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Is your girlfriend would take care of you.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, wow, friday night, sunday me, and Saturday
be with me all day and thenSunday night will go home, and
you know I appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
You know me thinking back to like after all these
years with my girlfriend,because I had the same thing
young love.
I was five or miles away fromher.
I would only see her like, like, like every month.
For four days again, it waslike Dustin to fail, you know.
But she stood by my side, man,and she slept right next to me
(23:11):
in a cot, you know to me.
It sure was good, you know, andit's shitty for me.
What I've told people in thepast because she actually, like
she got me through the adversity, like towards like the end.
You know, what I was trying tosay is like I was in the
(23:31):
military, I was about to deployand go overseas and I was.
I felt terrible that I couldn'tdo it.
Man, I really did, cause I gotparalyzed, you know, and a
really good person said to megross, don't worry about the war
(23:53):
overseas, you have a waragainst yourself right now.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You need to win it, you know.
So I'm asking you when you wereat RAC, how long did you just
hit RAC?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Oh, June, July, August, like five months.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
For me it was a year.
So I'm asking you, when youwere alone, like what were your
thoughts?
Like what were you thinking?
Cause, for me, my thoughts werelike fuck this, fuck my life.
I think I could like distractmyself watching Game of Thrones
or something, but like at theend of the day, when you're
(24:32):
going to sleep and they put yourcuff up and you have no voice,
I just felt completely defeated.
So what did you feel?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yeah, I felt defeated .
You know a lot of luck.
I had a lot of alone time aswell, but so I can remember that
first day like just thinkingshe was shaking my head and just
crying Like just tears iscoming down like crazy.
(25:08):
Like why me?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Exactly, it's the same thing, man.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
You give it here.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I do.
No, I know what you're talkingabout and I'm trying to bring
this out because I know it'srepressed memories.
But I'm going to bring it outwith you because being at RIC
alone at night, first of all,ric is a great hospital, great
therapy, great rehabilitation.
I would not say they're thebest, especially when it comes
(25:42):
to nursing care, because thenurses at night scared me.
When I was alone at night I gotscared because I'm on a
ventilator, what if it pops off?
And it did one time and it tookthe nurse like 30 seconds to
come in and I was freaking out,you know, and I couldn't talk
because my cuff was up.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
So that's what I hated like being at RIC, and at
night they would come in and thevitals, no, with the cuff.
Yeah, vitals too.
I hated that.
So I can remember this old ladyhitting my head on the while
she's trying to turn.
Oh my God, what was in him?
(26:24):
Oh my God, yeah, amy, amy, yes.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
So you get your therapy done right Is there any
therapist?
You want to shout out Any names?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
No, shout out to Tomas.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
He was on the podcast and Tomas knew trade.
Oh yeah, word with trade.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Oh no, that wasn't there.
No we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I want to shout out Sarah.
I don't know her last name, butSarah helped me and she got me
into using the mouth stick,which gave me a little
independence to talk to womenand talk to my friends without
having someone say hey, writethis, write that.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I mean, and I want to shout out to this guy, matt, he
helped me get through driving awheelchair.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
He told me it was weird because it's like this is
your life now and it's eitheryou suck it up and you take it
in and you try to learn, oryou're just depressed as shit.
Some days I was depressed asshit.
Some days I sucked it up, Ismiled, I laughed Right and I
(28:13):
was in the hospital for likefive months.
Big difference.
What was it like coming home?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
So I wasn't actually able to come home.
I actually lived on the westside.
So there's two sides in theworld, the east side and the
west side.
I live on the east side so theycouldn't accommodate my home,
(28:44):
so it was a little apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You had to live in a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I had to live there for September, October, November
, December Okay, six months andI was able to do that.
What?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
was that like the nursing home?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
No, it wasn't a nursing home, it was just an
apartment.
So it was better than RIC.
Yeah, it was Waking up everyday and it was different because
, you know, I lived in thathouse all my life, like for 17,
(29:27):
18 years.
That was the only house I knewand it was a little shower.
It was just a crazy experience.
And then that's when I wasgoing to college.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I went to ECC, the Elgin Community.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
College out here and I was waking up at 4 o'clock in
the morning trying to get on abus to come out here Hold on
hold on.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Let me pause you.
So you finished school afteryour accident?
No, I didn't finish school, butyou graduated high school.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I'm rewinding back to high school, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
After your accident you said no, I'm going to
graduate, and you knocked thatout.
Did you go to your prom?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Yeah, went to my prom .
Did they make you prom king?
No, come on, you can't reallydo it at their own.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
They didn't make them the prom king, they didn't make
me the prom king.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You're sitting on a chair.
That's what a king does.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How did it feel going to prom, though?
Did it feel like you wereovercoming something?
Did it feel like you werehitting a milestone?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, it was, it was nice.
So I got to see all my friendsand you know they all embraced
me and that was a nice night.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
You inspired, a lot of me, and then, after he
graduates, he says I'm going tokeep going, right, and I'm going
to go to ECC, ecc, that'salmost what, 45 minutes away
from Aurora.
Yeah, yeah, and you were making.
You said you were going on abus, yeah, going on a bus.
Grinding On a bus For real dude.
He don't got an excuse.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Neither should he Dude.
And, like you saying this, it'slike making me feel I don't
know, like it's making me feelsome type of way because I
always thought, oh, I'mparalyzed, I should be taken
care of and all this stuff andblah, blah, blah, you know.
And when I got home, I remembergetting home and just going in
(31:25):
my house, it was great.
It was just like being home wasamazing and not having a nurse
give you vitals and this, andthat it was just amazing.
But I remember getting home andI always had a problem with care
.
The military only gave me 16hours at one time and then they
(31:47):
cut it down to six hours and Ihad to hire people through the
state to take care of me, and itwas hard as hell, man.
I would have people who don'tknow any type of care that I
have and they're taking care ofme.
Did you experience anythinglike this?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, so at first we had like a good nursing, like we
had in the mornings and in thenighttime, but then it went to
shit.
And then they expect yourfamily to step in and yes,
(32:30):
totally.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's what happened to me too.
But did you have to hireanybody like off the street or
in, say like, or did you hirefriends and say like, hey, do
you want to work for me?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
And you don't have to do this.
No, it's all through the stateLike.
So I don't have enough money tohire oh okay, so the state gave
you caregivers.
Exactly so.
Like it would be through acompany and then they would come
(33:06):
, like they would provide theservice or whatever, but like as
far as, like people off thestreet or friends or anything
like I could probably hire, likea friend, like to know my care,
as a caregiver or whatever, buteven then like they, it's only
(33:26):
my mom really now.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I mean, I was asking you that because the Department
of Human Services gives me hoursto find people to take care of
me, Like Eric, you know likethat's what they do.
So I was wondering if you hadthat same, like that same plan.
But apparently you hadcaregivers come to you, Right?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
How many hours would they stay?
My mom deals with all that.
I don't know if the amount ofhours.
How many years am I?
How many hours I get a month ora week?
112 hours a week.
112 hours a week.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
So you can't even have 24 hour care.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
No, not at all.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's scary man, because back then it's.
I mean, even to this day itstill scares me after no one's
here.
You know, like what if I, thevent pops off and I die?
Yeah man, what if it's a personthat doesn't want to be here?
You know, I am so grateful andblessed for the team that I have
(34:38):
for a lot of nurses and I'mblessed that I'm able to say
that I have 24 hour care and I'mreally sorry that you don't.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So my room is around the corner from my mom's and you
know, and she goes in her roomand the thing I'm glad I have is
the pacer.
So if it does pop off, but if Idon't have the pacer on, then
I'm really, really nervous.
(35:10):
Describe to the people what apacer is.
So I have a diaphragmic pacerand it makes your diaphragm, I
guess, work.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
From electric stimulations.
From electric stimulation thereyou go.
So if I pop Max's cap off andhis throat, if I take his trick
off, he's immediatelysuffocating.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Right, if I pop mine off.
I'm okay.
I'll be okay until somebodycomes.
For how long?
For as long as until somebodycomes.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
So that's it.
Just keeps pacing, huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
It's like a pacer for a heart kind of, but you have
to get the strength to use thediaphragmic pacer yeah, you have
to build that, yeah.
So you felt safe when you wereon the pacer.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
No, and I have both of them.
Like working simultaneously.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, okay, so you would have a ventilator and a
pacer on.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah, like all the time, even now, even right now,
I have the pacer going.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
So when you're at home, and let's go back in time
when you were younger, I meanyou know, Kudos to you, man, for
the grind going to college, allthat stuff I didn't do that, I
complained a lot and likelooking at you what you wanted
to go to college for?
I was in the military.
(36:44):
I was just thinking about themilitary and they just told me
keep doing this, keep doing thatand the military is going to
take care of you, and blah, blah, blah.
And they did it at the end.
I mean they take care of you,but they did it in the beginning
with nursing care.
They only gave me six hours aday and I was terrified and
(37:06):
they're like oh well, it's yourfamily because you didn't deploy
, so they have your family hasto take care of you.
And I'm like that's bullshit.
I signed a dotted line for themilitary.
They said they would take careof me.
They said we could take care ofyou by putting you in a nursing
home that's what they weresaying for 24 hour care.
(37:26):
And, dude, I had to deal withso many people stealing from me.
I had to deal with so manypeople like just the deception
was just off the charts.
So I ask you, did you have todeal with it?
Like you know?
Deception with friends ornurses or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
No, so with my friends and stuff, it was pretty
much my family close to me.
My friends are got like two,two real close friends that I'm
(38:11):
still close to to this day andI'm like I'm so happy.
But as far as like friendscoming around, like they are
like disappeared Even to thisday, like even with my job and
(38:32):
stuff, like reaching out andstuff, Hold on hold on Working
to do a job.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Tell the people what you do.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm an insurance guy.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
This man graduated paralyzed, neck down.
This man went to school ridingon public transportation
paralyzed neck down.
Now he's telling me you're aninsurance agent, trey would stay
far, trey would stay far.
Come on man, nothing stoppingyou.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
They should replace Jake with Trey.
She's dude.
Like you're, like aninspiration.
You know that, like to me, liketo me, I feel like I'm nothing
right now because, because ofall the things you did.
You have like the mind, youhave the intestinal fortune to
(39:23):
get through all this stuff, andfor me I like would always
complain, but sounds like youjust need the bare minimum.
Did you ever think like Ideserve 24 hour care?
This is bullshit.
Or do you just go with the flow?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I'm just go with the flow type of guy.
I don't know like I don't knowwhat what that is and where it
comes from.
I just been always that kidlike come think it comes from my
mom.
Honestly, like, once you startsomething, you better finish it,
(40:06):
Honestly like Trey's mom is notin real hard behind the scenes
you literally are paralyzed fromthe next down.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So how did you do it?
Did you do it with the helppeople or did you just do it by
yourself?
Like obviously you went withsomebody because you're out of
that and I just I'm dumbfounded.
Honestly, I really am Like Ididn't know, you did all this
and you're.
You have a freaking job, which,which is insane.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
I could ask you, man?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I definitely appreciate you like the first
guy in my position that has ajob.
That's one.
College is for all theseamazing things.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Let him answer your question, because now you got me
curious.
Who would you rather was yourmom there every, every step of
the way, or every tire rotationof the way?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Yeah, so definitely my mom, so like that's why I
kind of stayed in like there,claire doing the clarinet, like
both my brothers.
They didn't stay in like they,they were both in bed, they
didn't stay in it.
And then what else?
He ain't on there?
(41:17):
My little brother was in it, hedidn't stay in it, but I did,
and I don't know Like you seemlike you're not scared of
anything and honestly, I'mscared of a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
The biggest thing I'm scared of is if my vent pops
off.
Like the biggest thing we thinkwe talk about when we're
interviewing Well, not interviewwhen we're interviewing someone
for a job is if I stop talkingand the vent is beeping, get the
ambo back.
You know what?
Speaker 3 (41:52):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
You seem like you can go to bed by yourself, like do
you have like care?
Like when you go to sleep?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
No, it's just having to pace it back up.
Honestly.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So what about, like, if you need a drink of water or
something like that, like, howdo you like, how do you don't
drink, I don't drink, I don'tdrink, so like at night, like I
might be hungry, I might bethirsty, like hey, my mom got
asleep, so.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
So sometimes, like I have to wake her up because so
like our system is, I call itthrough the night and with my
cell phone saying, ok, google,call mom and and she'll wake up,
and and you know, like, so yourmom is sugar.
(42:44):
I tried not to call it likethat's it's the last resort,
like if I'm probably calling it.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
So you call or you say you need a drink of water.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
No, I don't.
I don't ever call for a drinkof water emergency and you're
not breathing.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
to signal like my lips like that, that's.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Max's, I do that like if we're close, but if I can't
get, I'm popping lips.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Both of you do your distress calls.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Yes so like when I got out of the hospital, I
partied.
That's why I did that party.
I was with my friends.
You know, I had money with theVA and stuff, so I was able to
do these fun things and I didn'tcare about my health that much.
Not my health, I didn't careabout, like, the safety stuff
that I need.
So I'd be going to clubs, I'dbe doing this and I wouldn't
(43:48):
even have an amy bag.
The amy bag would be in the carand I would have like girls on
me and they would rip the ventoff.
They would rip the vent off andthen I would click, and then
they before this my brother toldthem, if I start clicking late,
come and get me, and my brotherwould come and see my life.
I almost died on a girl becauseof this situation.
(44:13):
So I just I think it's crazyyou're not scared because I'm
like what's the most terrifyingthing that has happened during
this position You've been in for16 years?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
So sometimes I'm not able to get in touch with my mom
and what's the my like a pacer,like it's acting up, I should
(44:47):
say.
So it wasn't doing its job,Like it barely like gave me
breath, so the ventilator was onme and I'm trying to pop to get
my mom and it's coming off.
So I had to the ventilator'scoming off.
(45:10):
So I had to like calm myselfand be like okay, Like I'm
thinking, okay, this is the end.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
That's how I feel all the time.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
So in the end I just closed my eyes and prayed and my
mom ended up coming in.
I wasn't able to call her on myphone.
And was it this year?
(45:46):
No, no, it was last year.
Last year, january, and I thinkit was like January 2nd.
That was one time I was kind ofscared.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Has your vent ever popped off Like and you had to
use your signal?
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Yeah, a few times like like, but they were close
by.
It wasn't like like nighttimeand she's that's serious for me
and yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
So, eric, I told Eric , amen, I need an assistant, she
wants job.
And then he thinks I'm blowingsmoke, right.
I tell him, like my nursesdon't know what they're doing
and I'm talking about nurses-Wait, how did y'all meet?
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh shit, here we go, all right.
So I made music back in the day.
It's still in me, it's just notproducing out of me.
Okay, I'll get back at it,don't worry about it.
So Max messaged me like, hey,bro, I really like that
Halloween wrap.
I had a little Halloween wrapthat went like a little tiny
viral, like local viral.
Okay, I'm gonna check it out,yeah, yeah, and he's like yo,
(47:02):
he's like it'll be cool to meetsometime and I'm like damn.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
I thought I said we should party.
This is when I was partying in2017.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
And I was like, damn, I gotta meet this kid.
But like life was moving fast,I didn't make the time and I
went through something whereI've hit my own version of a
little rock bottom Right, like Iwas going through the stressors
of life and then I thought tomyself like bro, remember Max?
Like that motherfucker can'teven brush his own teeth Like
what are you stressing about?
I was like you're right, I'mgonna hit him up.
(47:31):
Finally, you know.
So, two years later, I hit Maxup.
My hey, man, how you been, bro,what's up?
He's like, honestly, I'm so.
He didn't believe we justtalked about this like what last
week.
He didn't believe that.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
He said this, I forgot this, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
But he's like.
He's like, honestly, it's theworst I've ever been.
All my friends left me.
I'm just, I'm just alone in myroom all day and I was like man,
forget that.
Like, let me know what you'redoing this weekend.
I'll meet you.
And he's like, I got a paradeto go to.
If you want to meet me there,I'm like, let's go, give me the
address.
So I'm thinking he's like goingto be under a canopy on a
Memorial Day parade.
(48:05):
Man, I meet with this guy.
He's suited up in his uniformand right when I walk up to him,
sup max, yo, sup, eric.
Then the soldiers next to himsay are you ready?
He's with you.
And he's like, yeah, next thing, you know, I'm walking through
the city of Dundee, right nextto the Quad Father himself
leading the Memorial Day parade.
We got police cars andfirefighters behind us carrying
(48:28):
flags and everyone's cheering onthe sidelines.
I'm like, man, I'm glad I worea button up.
And then you know that onething led to another and he was
vested to me about how he felt,like he couldn't do nothing.
I'm like, bro, you got yourvoice, let's do a motherfucking
podcast.
And he responds telling me Ican't do a podcast.
He said I can't.
He said I tried with my friends.
My voice is too low.
(48:49):
I said fuck your friends, let'sgo Over 60 episodes later.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
And man like he thought I was blowing smoke when
I offered him a job.
Oh no, no, oh.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
So back to that.
He would tell me like, oh youknow, these nurses don't know my
care, Like you know, and I'mthinking, dog, they're nurses
Like I'm thinking he's justtrying to butter me up to like,
keep me around, you know, and itwasn't until he was in a Hoyer
lift.
He was in the air.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
You're in the air.
And then what happened?
The vent popped off and hecouldn't breathe, so he starts
clicking.
So I'm looking at the nurselike she got it.
She's a deer in headlights,she's mine, for real dude.
She didn't know what to do, sohe's like for the ambo bag,
right, right.
And I'm looking at her like I'mon the other side of the of Max
(49:44):
in the air and she's next tothe vent and she's, the ambo bag
is right on the vent.
So you know, I'm watching herlike, I'm, like, I'm like grab
the ambo bag, you know.
So then she puts the ambo bag on.
I'm commanding her what to do.
And I'm like pump them, youknow.
And then I'm like you see thatthat little nozzle right there
that's undone, reach for that,plug it back in, you know,
(50:05):
because I'm on the other sideand she did it and we got him
breathing again.
And that's when he looked at melike he's gave me that look.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
That spoke a thousand words you know, dude, this
happens to me so much.
It's happened to me so much,I've almost died that means you
got to get pacing bro.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
You have to pace her installed.
And you, how come you don'twant to go?
It's because of the federallater he's.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
I don't like the trilogy.
I like to be able to talk andkeep talking and keep talking
and keep talking.
And if I go on the trilogy I'mgoing to have to talk.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
So tell the people what, what, what the other
events would do.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Tell the people why you won't pace because they're
going to make me go on adifferent event your event and I
have to like wait for a breathto talk, and it's the worst.
Speaker 3 (50:53):
No, you don't have to wait, I can keep going and keep
going, and keep going, and keepgoing, and keep going.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
No, you just, you just said, you just said, you
just.
I mean, maybe it's an excuse.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
Maybe it is.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Maybe I'll give a shot.
You honestly have inspired methis whole podcast, this whole
podcast.
Like I've never met someone inmy position that is just so
independent in his own way.
It's.
It's honestly astonishing.
It really is.
I I'm never like this.
I'm not.
(51:30):
I'm usually the one motivatingpeople, but do you fucking
motivate me?
You're inspiring me to do thesethings.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Doing that right there.
That camp just made me inspiredfrom X.
You can do it, bro.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
I feel like it's just a vent.
It's the issue.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
It's not the vent, it's the basis.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Are you on the vent right?
Speaker 3 (51:58):
now.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
So you're talking normally.
Sorry, keep talking.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking, keep
talking, keep talking.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
So I mean that pause scares me.
Speaker 1 (52:14):
But sometimes, sometimes it gives you a
presence of power, like, forinstance, christopher Reeves.
That's how he spoke.
You know, christopher Reeves,right, superman and his pacer
was the same way, or his ventwas the same way, but when he
would talk he would have to talklike this.
But that pause kind of makesyou sound powerful you know,
(52:35):
instead of just rambling andrambling and rambling, the human
mind could only keep up for solong until they start hearing
fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff, fuffwhen you're talking.
But yo, I wanted to get back toyou and we're at the 55 minute
mark of the podcast and wetalked about everything before
the accident shortly after theaccident, and I want to talk
(52:58):
more light on the amazing thingsthat you went through after
your accident, like, for example, after Max's accident, patrick
Kane he got assigned Jersey fromPatrick Kane.
He met the team.
You know we went to theChappelle concert.
We both did that.
You know we go to the Unitedcenter often Like is there any
shows, any people you've met,any blessings that you've got, I
(53:19):
lead parades, you know likestuff like that.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (53:26):
So I say 2011,.
I went to the All-Star gamewith Make a Wish.
I was able to get the ball,sorry by Koby Wow.
In the whole team, east andWest, that was Derek Rose.
(53:51):
That's what.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
I want to do oh dear, oh dear.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
You got Koby Derek Rose 2011.
Those are all like the bestplayers, hey dude, oh shit.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Dirk Israel, don J Koby signature alone.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Yeah so.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Koby is crazy.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
So your perseverance, your drive, your tenacity.
It inspires the fuck out of you.
It really does, and I'm goingto start thinking differently
now.
Usually I stay in bed all day.
No joke, stay in bed all dayand I just get dressed, watch TV
(54:35):
.
I've been reading lately,that's my goal.
I've been reading every day for30 minutes or more, you know,
but I got to start doing moreand you inspire the fuck out of
me because when there's a wallthere, you just break through it
, man, like everything the storyyou've told me, and you're
(54:57):
freaking your vagraness, youknow.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Right.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Not being scared Like I'm more scared than you.
It's crazy man and I got allthe help.
Do you know like you inspirethe lobby?
Speaker 1 (55:15):
I definitely appreciate that.
I don't know.
I think Chris is going for some.
Speaker 2 (55:19):
Okay, well, turn off.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Turn what off?
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Oh it's pretty, it's a hit, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1 (55:27):
The podcast can't hear it.
Speaker 3 (55:29):
Oh my, let me get the Right back there.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
Okay, so you start eating your breath.
Speaker 3 (55:36):
No, no, I thought that was annoying.
Speaker 2 (55:41):
No, it wasn't you, it was in another room I was
freaking out like I would freakout doing what you just did.
I don't know how you do it.
I really don't like you.
You this is definitely one ofthe best podcasts I've done,
honestly, cuz like I'm sittingnext to a guy that literally has
(56:04):
no excuse Like neither shouldyou every person out there
listening if you're freaking outover a girl or a test or an
exam, or your car is broke.
Just remember, somebody has itway worse.
Somebody has it way worse.
You know ever me like I'mthinking this guy has a way
(56:24):
worse, but he's tenacity andJust is charisma.
You look like you're doingbetter than me.
Speaker 3 (56:33):
No, how we do you all in this together, you know.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
I know, I know, I know this, but right now, like
you're giving me motivation,that's what.
I'm saying, hey, I needsomething.
I kick in the ass and I neverreally meet with people.
I'm vence because, like I don'tknow, I just thought my best
friend Chuck, he's not a fan, hewas in the army just like me.
(56:59):
Same unit.
Mm-hmm just different time, youknow, and I never really talked
to people on vents.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
But Chuck is very nice chest down, by the way,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Brothers and arms.
That's the podcast, but do youFuckin inspire me?
You know, I think that's thebest way to end this podcast,
cuz like I Honestly man, like IWant to be around you more.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
No, seriously.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
I never get set up to drive.
I have issues with that.
The human event.
Mm-hmm it drives out my throatlike crazy you have no idea, bro
Like it's the worst thing ever.
It's because of the pain that Ihave my throat, so I'm always
on this other vent, you know thehome vent.
(57:51):
So I mean I just like I loveyour drive man and you keep
driving and I know I know yougot shot driving but you're
fucking driving to freakinghappiness, driving to the
pursuit of happiness right nowyeah that's all you honestly.
(58:11):
Great, great story, great,everything you Like.
If I could clap, I would Shoutmy boy tree, come into my house
with mama.
You know you are always welcome.
You're always welcome.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
I never seen someone, I never seen max give someone
so many flowers.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
No, I definitely appreciate that, definitely
appreciate.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
You don't understand that, like I have so many
excuses and you like I hope Ican get your number and we can
talk and stuff you know Cuzyou're the motivation.
Oh, this person can have a job.
This person has a job.
(59:03):
He's taking care of himself.
This person went to school andgot on a bus.
It's like you didn't give afuck what people thought.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
I visited trade.
Remember when I visited you andI told you I was like man, I
thought max would motivate youfor life.
But I think you gonna motivatemax.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
Lou haven't Motivated you voice, your purse arrives,
you know, right there as well.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
We, we in this field, like it really does it you know
that.
Speaker 1 (59:40):
You know that's a good thing.
I feel like that's a good thing, or there's people out here
that are okay with beingcomplacent.
But when you're not okay withbeing complacent, that means
your brain is telling you to dosomething about it, and your
brain is telling you to dosomething about it.
Yeah, it's like that meansyou're built different.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
It's, yeah, it's like you.
Doing all those things Made methink, wow, I wasted a lot of
years doing a bunch of stupidshit, watching a bunch of stupid
shows.
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
I should have been consumed a better better late
than never.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Exactly and you fucking killed it.
I hope one day you become amillionaire or something yeah,
that's insurance agents, asianand telling away something you
know.
But I'm happy that your familytook care of you.
Your family was there for youand your mom was there for you
(01:00:34):
and I'm guessing she's yourbiggest inspiration, was she?
Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Yeah, of course, without her wouldn't be.
No, me Most definitely Shoutout to you, man.
Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Thank you for being on this show.
I just like You've changed myperspective of life.
You really have Yo.
Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
My name is Tray and I'm living my life to the max.
Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
And what about your message?
Give the people a message, comeon, man.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
Better late than never.
What do you mean?
That's all Except me and Max inthe cut.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
We don't give two shifts and we don't give a fuck.
That's what we do, and shit toprove we live in life, live in
life to the max.
Live in life, live in life tothe max, to the max, just like
my podcast Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Welcome back to another episode of Life, to the
Max.
Once upon a time I was like yo,Max, Dave Chappelle's coming to
Chicago.
Let's go to the United Centerand see Dave Chappelle.
We get there.
I'm looking for my dad.
I get Max set up, I leave andwhile I'm looking for my dad I
see Trey, Paralyzed from theneck down, breathing through a
machine.
I follow in his dreams.
(00:51):
I say yo, I gotta get you on apodcast.
I gotta get Max acquainted withanother quad, another
quadripleasure.
Yeah we're gonna get into Trey'sinterview right after the intro
.
Max.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, we might be paralyzed for a neck down,
breathing through a machine, butthat doesn't stop us from
following our dreams and doingwhat we love to do.
I don't got an excuse, andneither do you, should you?
Let's get into Trey's episode.
The first guy I've ever had onthe podcast, that's kind of like
me.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yeah, that's what.
I've been saying since thebeginning, Because Max would
always tell me you don'tunderstand what it's like, I'm
like.
All right, my goal is to findsomebody that understands what
it's like Every injury isdifferent, though, every injury
is different.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I told him about my nerve pain.
He doesn't have a nerve painLike his throat.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
All right, next quadripleasure you got to find
I'll make sure you have nervepain.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
I have nerve pain, but not in my throat, In my
hands and going down in my legsis real bad, Like keeps me up at
night.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So tell me about yourself, man.
What do you answer?
You study like football.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Football, I like basketball, I like gaming, you
game.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
How do you game?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
So it's this device, quad stick.
Shout out to Fred.
I know Fred.
Yeah, yeah, lifesaver, I'm ableto be on my computer, like when
I'm in my bed.
I'm also able to do it when I'min my chair, but most of the
(02:39):
time it's when I'm in my bed.
You game, what do you play?
My favorite game of all time isa game called God of War.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Everyone knows what God of War is man the best game?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
ever the 2018 version .
It's better.
Yeah, it's better.
I play zombies on Call of DutyNot too much in multiplayer, but
the zombies, me and my oldnurse used to get down on that I
love that.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I love when a caregiver really spends time
with you, because I had acaregiver named Natalia and she
was amazing.
We would always play videogames.
She would play Fortnite.
I love Fortnite.
She would play all these gamesfor me just to watch.
People don't realize.
(03:32):
It's really the little thingslike that that make you happy.
She would sit right next to meand just play these games.
I would feel like I'm playing,you know.
So I love that.
I love when a caregiver bondswith their person, not just with
(03:54):
health care, more like treatingyou like a person.
How old are?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
you man Turn 35.
August 16th Leo.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, yeah, shout out to your zodiac sign.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Yeah, you know, sir.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
For all those girls out there with astronomy I'm an
Aries, so is Eric.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
We're both fire signs A fire podcast.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Fire podcast for real .
So, man, you're paralyzed froman egg down, breathing through a
machine.
I have to ask how did thishappen?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
So March 2nd 2007.
I'm with my brother, we're atthe house.
He asked me hey, you want to goto my aunt's house?
How old were you?
I was 17.
So three months away fromgraduating, and it's a Friday
(05:01):
morning and he's like hey, youwant to go smoke?
I had to go into work.
I'm like, yeah, all right, I'lltake you over over there.
I needed to.
I was trying to fix my radio,so we go over there.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Where is this?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Over my aunt's house.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yeah, is this Aurora.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah in Aurora, yeah in Aurora.
And I pull in the driveway myolder brother.
He asked me to back in.
So I pull out the driveway andin the corner I see somebody at
a stop sign and I'm like thisdude don't look like he's up to
no good.
(05:44):
So I'm going to hit the blockinstead of pulling out and
reversing back in.
So when I pull out and I'mabout to hit the block, all of a
sudden shots Pop, pop, pop, pop.
My brother's like go.
I hit the gas and turn aroundtowards looking at the car.
(06:11):
But as soon as I do that, likeall in one motion, I get hit and
instantly I'm not able to talkanymore or do anything.
I instantly just black out.
So then you're driving andgetting away, and as soon as you
turned around, you got hit.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
As soon as you drive, you're like that.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
What's the car still moving?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
So I hit the gas at the same time and then after
that I don't know anything thathappened.
So you blacked out, I blackedout.
When I'm blacking out, mybrother tries to press the gas
on his own.
So he drives away and pressesthe gas with his hand.
(06:56):
He ends up crashing.
So I hit the wheel again.
I wake up again and then mybrother gets out the car and
gets me out the car.
He's like Tray, I love you, Ilove you.
So the girl when we crash, somegirl comes out.
I remember some girl coming outand my brother was like call
(07:18):
911.
Call 911.
And then he gets out Tray, Ilove you, I love you.
And then that's when I'mthinking this is it, this is
over for the Richard L Winfrey,the third Tray, that's over.
I'm thinking Jonathan, give mea hug and a kiss and tell this
(07:42):
is my farewell.
And then the next thing I canremember is I believe I don't
know if this is heaven, I'm at ahospital.
But I wake up and I look up andI see the white light.
Like everybody Did you see thewhite light when you're waking
(08:05):
up?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No, not waking up.
I saw the white light when Igot in the car accident.
I was actually sleeping when Igot in the car accident and I
vividly remember, just like youknow, blurring like red, red
lights and blue lights and, likeyou know, like from an
ambulance.
And then I, like, I tried tostay awake.
(08:27):
I couldn't breathe, so my mouthwas opening and closing like
this, you know, because Icouldn't breathe.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Saturation was at 80 and I passed out, saw the white
light and then three days laterwoke up in the hospital.
Okay, I'll continue.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
I wake up, see the white light, and I'm like, okay,
I'm alive.
Then I go right back and thenthe next thing I wake up.
I wake up in the hospital.
I don't know if it was doctorsaround me or angels, or what?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
And you can't feel anything, you can't move, you
can't breathe.
You can just open your eyes.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Right.
And then the next thing I wakeup in the hospital and they saw
I had to get.
They were going to fly me toMaywood, to Loyola, and like I
got sent to my local hospital.
But then they were going to flyme on a helicopter but the
(09:35):
weather wasn't too good, so Iremember seeing my cousin Gabe
and my homie Kevin and my homiethat we'll get to later about my
job he comes in and train,train, train.
(10:01):
And right before I'm about togo to Maywood, so we're going to
a basketball game, my homie hehoops and they had like You're
still in the hospital right now.
Still in the hospital but before, like, getting shot, like so he
(10:21):
was supposed to come over myhouse, like.
He got into it with his girlthe night before.
He was like can I stay tonight?
And I'm like, yeah, but in theend he ended up not staying the
(10:42):
night or whatever.
But they had an important gameor whatever.
And I guess he was talking tomy dad saying like no, I ain't
going to the game, or whatever.
He, like my dad, ended uptalking him into going and
playing for the game.
(11:02):
He was like I'm going to bringback the net for you, I'm going
to bring back the net.
And, long story short, theyended up winning the what was it
?
Sectional or regional, againstBatavia, I think?
What school?
(11:23):
Yeah, east Royale, okay.
And they ended up winning andcame back like the next day in
Maywood like this is after I gottransferred, or whatever with
the nets around his, around hisneck, around his neck and yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
How long were you in the ICU?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
So I stayed in Maywood for like.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
So they flew you no.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
So I ended up going there and then staying there for
like two weeks, so before,after, and then after that I had
to go to RIC or whatever, butso you're going to, but before
that I kept on getting thetemperatures and they wouldn't
let me.
Let me go.
(12:17):
So, like the first words I gotto speak were to my girlfriend
at the time was give me a kissand got up.
It was.
It was real hard, like this iswhen I'm on a passing year and
(12:38):
the first word those are myfirst words and I was like hey,
give me a kiss.
And then I got to eat Somepizza hut.
My dad was got me some pizzahut.
Like was my first solid food.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
So, so, let's slow down real quick.
So you got to RIC like is thismonths later because it took me.
It took me four months to starteating again and it was
terrible.
I hated it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
I couldn't drink.
No, so, believe it or not, youknow the little personal pizza.
I don't know if you did likethe book reports Back in the day
like we used to get, like thesefree personal pan pizzas from
(13:29):
pizza.
I couldn't even finish one, oneslice.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Same here.
When I first had my first solidfood, it was pasta salad.
I couldn't even finish thespoon.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And because my throat muscles were so out, there is
so much atrophy in my throat,like there was a week, you know.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, so it's insane.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I couldn't even, I couldn't even finish a little
personal piece Pizza andsomething we haven't come into
is when I was at the ICU, I onlystayed there for like, for like
, eight days, but I was ready toleave in five days, right.
And when I was at the ICU, theywere going to fly me to Rush.
(14:22):
Okay, I was in Kakeki, okay, sothat's like an hour and a half
away from Chicago.
So they were going to fly me toRush, but they heard that I was
on a vent, a ventilator.
So, they said no.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
And I said that broke my heart.
But when I was in the ICU Iwould dream and I would think
I'm in boot camp at RIC and thatI'm going to get everything
back Right.
And I have like a sweatshirt onthat said RIC on it, and I
would wake up and I thought,like you know, the vent was
(15:05):
temporary, you know everything.
So what I'm trying to ask iswhat were your thoughts in the
ICU?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I thought I was like I'm a, I'm a person of faith and
still to this day, especially,you know, growing up in church
and stuff, and you know I hadpeople come, come by and pray
for me and stuff, and like Ithought, yeah, I thought I
(15:35):
thought this was only temporary.
You know I'm saying like 16years later.
You know it's crazy how thingswork out, but really is, and I
thought it was temporary too.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
But when the, when the months went on and okay, so
when I first had a muscle spasm,I freaked out.
I was so excited.
I was like, oh my God, I movedmy hand Right and I knew I
couldn't talk for 15 days.
So it was terrifying and I wentto RIC and I couldn't talk.
(16:13):
It was, it was the mostterrifying thing ever.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
Right yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And yeah, yeah, man, like I lost my strength.
I thought I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
No, it's good your spasm, oh my the spasm on my
muscle spasm.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I was like, oh my God , my hand moved Like like I'm
going to move again Do you know,what I mean.
And then the spasm is startingto get worse and worse
throughout the months and then Irealized, oh, these are just
spasms.
Yes, they're a good thing,because your nerves are working,
but you're not moving on yourown, and the doctor would tell
me that.
And one thing I hate arefucking doctors that say you're
(16:56):
going to be in the chair for therest of your life.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Because that's not true.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
And the doctor tells you what's going to happen.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Right Out of the doctor.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't care if a doctor went to freaking Yale and
says he knows all these medicalthings.
You practice medicine.
You don't know medicine, do you?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
know what I mean.
So my mom like, even when thedoctor like came in and you
still go walk like, I canremember like man and it was
crazy.
But no, that's why I can alwaysappreciate my mom, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Mom Rita in the house just over there.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah.
So I have to ask how were youin rehabilitation?
How was your rehab?
Speaker 3 (17:58):
So when I got shot was in March, and then I stayed
in May what?
For like two weeks?
Then got transferred to RIC andthen I stayed until August.
I had to get my house.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah, just started to interrupt you.
But what was your therapy like?
What was your mindset?
Like?
Did your girlfriend leave?
My girlfriend left me?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So yeah, so that was my first thought, Like like in
Maywood, like like my home, myhomey, those, like that was my
first thought.
Like she's gone, she's, she's,she's gonna leave me.
But she ended up staying withme for like a year and a year
(18:56):
and a half.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
It's tough man, because the longer they stay and
it's young love, Right, I meanthat's the worst.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I didn't expect her to stay.
You know what I'm saying.
She was, she was young.
She was three years older thanme.
I was 17.
She was 20.
She was 20.
There you go, and I wasactually shot in her car.
I was in her car so, like Iheard, like conspiracy, oh, you
were trying to, and that thatwas never my lane.
(19:27):
Like my lane was, you know,staying out of trouble.
You know, growing up like Iplayed golf.
Believe it or not, people,people will believe that.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
You got Tiger Woods tonight Right.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
I played golf, played the clarinet, stayed out.
What else Played the piano?
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I played piano too.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Right, Like I had my own lane.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
I have to ask the lake.
So when you were in at RAC, youwere in the lake.
I remember.
I remember like distinctly whatthey did.
They always had a schedule.
They would bring the schedulein.
They would tell you whattherapist you're in, what time
you have to wake up, this andthat.
Like it was like military to mewhen I got there, you know.
(20:19):
And what was your mindset likewhen you had occupational
therapy and physical therapy.
And then, bam, you're alonewatching TV.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
So I'll go back a little bit.
So in Maywood they kept onsaying, oh, you're going to the
number one rehabilitation in thecountry, no, in the world, and
that had my hopes up.
So so much, because I'mthinking I'm gonna walk again,
(20:54):
you know, and so I'm still inschool at this time.
So I still got to do like withoccupational.
I'm doing school work like, andI'm tired and you know, doing
physical therapy and stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
When you were doing homework at the hospital.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I had to graduate still.
I had to graduate still.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That's insane.
So how would you like write apaper?
Did you use Dragon's?
Speaker 3 (21:25):
because you know not yet, Not at that time.
So the lady would come in and Iwould have to like talk to her
and say she would have to scribefor me or I would have to, you
know, do math and stuff likethat.
Yeah, I had to still dohomework and do school work.
(21:47):
So when a three girlfriend stuckaround for the hospital, so I
appreciate like what she did forme because, like she gave my
mom a chance to go home as welltoo.
So like when I'm in thehospital I'm never alone, like
somebody's always with me.
(22:09):
So my mom ended up quitting herjob.
Like, just like that snappersnapper with the fingers, quit
her job and then was up therewith me 24 seven.
But on the weekends, likeSaturday, no, she would come up
think Friday and then spend thewhole day with me.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Is your girlfriend would take care of you.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, wow, friday night, sunday me, and Saturday
be with me all day and thenSunday night will go home, and
you know I appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
You know me thinking back to like after all these
years with my girlfriend,because I had the same thing
young love.
I was five or miles away fromher.
I would only see her like, like, like every month.
For four days again, it waslike Dustin to fail, you know.
But she stood by my side, man,and she slept right next to me
(23:11):
in a cot, you know to me.
It sure was good, you know, andit's shitty for me.
What I've told people in thepast because she actually, like
she got me through the adversity, like towards like the end.
You know, what I was trying tosay is like I was in the
(23:31):
military, I was about to deployand go overseas and I was.
I felt terrible that I couldn'tdo it.
Man, I really did, cause I gotparalyzed, you know, and a
really good person said to megross, don't worry about the war
(23:53):
overseas, you have a waragainst yourself right now.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
You need to win it, you know.
So I'm asking you when you wereat RAC, how long did you just
hit RAC?
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Oh, June, July, August, like five months.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
For me it was a year.
So I'm asking you, when youwere alone, like what were your
thoughts?
Like what were you thinking?
Cause, for me, my thoughts werelike fuck this, fuck my life.
I think I could like distractmyself watching Game of Thrones
or something, but like at theend of the day, when you're
(24:32):
going to sleep and they put yourcuff up and you have no voice,
I just felt completely defeated.
So what did you feel?
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yeah, I felt defeated .
You know a lot of luck.
I had a lot of alone time aswell, but so I can remember that
first day like just thinkingshe was shaking my head and just
crying Like just tears iscoming down like crazy.
(25:08):
Like why me?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Exactly, it's the same thing, man.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
You give it here.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I do.
No, I know what you're talkingabout and I'm trying to bring
this out because I know it'srepressed memories.
But I'm going to bring it outwith you because being at RIC
alone at night, first of all,ric is a great hospital, great
therapy, great rehabilitation.
I would not say they're thebest, especially when it comes
(25:42):
to nursing care, because thenurses at night scared me.
When I was alone at night I gotscared because I'm on a
ventilator, what if it pops off?
And it did one time and it tookthe nurse like 30 seconds to
come in and I was freaking out,you know, and I couldn't talk
because my cuff was up.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
So that's what I hated like being at RIC, and at
night they would come in and thevitals, no, with the cuff.
Yeah, vitals too.
I hated that.
So I can remember this old ladyhitting my head on the while
she's trying to turn.
Oh my God, what was in him?
(26:24):
Oh my God, yeah, amy, amy, yes.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
So you get your therapy done right Is there any
therapist?
You want to shout out Any names?
Speaker 3 (27:06):
No, shout out to Tomas.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
He was on the podcast and Tomas knew trade.
Oh yeah, word with trade.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Oh no, that wasn't there.
No we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I want to shout out Sarah.
I don't know her last name, butSarah helped me and she got me
into using the mouth stick,which gave me a little
independence to talk to womenand talk to my friends without
having someone say hey, writethis, write that.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
You know what?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I mean, and I want to shout out to this guy, matt, he
helped me get through driving awheelchair.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Right.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
He told me it was weird because it's like this is
your life now and it's eitheryou suck it up and you take it
in and you try to learn, oryou're just depressed as shit.
Some days I was depressed asshit.
Some days I sucked it up, Ismiled, I laughed Right and I
(28:13):
was in the hospital for likefive months.
Big difference.
What was it like coming home?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
So I wasn't actually able to come home.
I actually lived on the westside.
So there's two sides in theworld, the east side and the
west side.
I live on the east side so theycouldn't accommodate my home,
(28:44):
so it was a little apartment.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You had to live in a nursing home.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
I had to live there for September, October, November
, December Okay, six months andI was able to do that.
What?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
was that like the nursing home?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
No, it wasn't a nursing home, it was just an
apartment.
So it was better than RIC.
Yeah, it was Waking up everyday and it was different because
, you know, I lived in thathouse all my life, like for 17,
(29:27):
18 years.
That was the only house I knewand it was a little shower.
It was just a crazy experience.
And then that's when I wasgoing to college.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I went to ECC, the Elgin Community.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
College out here and I was waking up at 4 o'clock in
the morning trying to get on abus to come out here Hold on
hold on.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Let me pause you.
So you finished school afteryour accident?
No, I didn't finish school, butyou graduated high school.
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I'm rewinding back to high school, oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
After your accident you said no, I'm going to
graduate, and you knocked thatout.
Did you go to your prom?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Yeah, went to my prom .
Did they make you prom king?
No, come on, you can't reallydo it at their own.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
They didn't make them the prom king, they didn't make
me the prom king.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
You're sitting on a chair.
That's what a king does.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
How did it feel going to prom, though?
Did it feel like you wereovercoming something?
Did it feel like you werehitting a milestone?
Speaker 3 (30:30):
Yeah, it was, it was nice.
So I got to see all my friendsand you know they all embraced
me and that was a nice night.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
You inspired, a lot of me, and then, after he
graduates, he says I'm going tokeep going, right, and I'm going
to go to ECC, ecc, that'salmost what, 45 minutes away
from Aurora.
Yeah, yeah, and you were making.
You said you were going on abus, yeah, going on a bus.
Grinding On a bus For real dude.
He don't got an excuse.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Neither should he Dude.
And, like you saying this, it'slike making me feel I don't
know, like it's making me feelsome type of way because I
always thought, oh, I'mparalyzed, I should be taken
care of and all this stuff andblah, blah, blah, you know.
And when I got home, I remembergetting home and just going in
(31:25):
my house, it was great.
It was just like being home wasamazing and not having a nurse
give you vitals and this, andthat it was just amazing.
But I remember getting home andI always had a problem with care
.
The military only gave me 16hours at one time and then they
(31:47):
cut it down to six hours and Ihad to hire people through the
state to take care of me, and itwas hard as hell, man.
I would have people who don'tknow any type of care that I
have and they're taking care ofme.
Did you experience anythinglike this?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Yeah, so at first we had like a good nursing, like we
had in the mornings and in thenighttime, but then it went to
shit.
And then they expect yourfamily to step in and yes,
(32:30):
totally.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's what happened to me too.
But did you have to hireanybody like off the street or
in, say like, or did you hirefriends and say like, hey, do
you want to work for me?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
And you don't have to do this.
No, it's all through the stateLike.
So I don't have enough money tohire oh okay, so the state gave
you caregivers.
Exactly so.
Like it would be through acompany and then they would come
(33:06):
, like they would provide theservice or whatever, but like as
far as, like people off thestreet or friends or anything
like I could probably hire, likea friend, like to know my care,
as a caregiver or whatever, buteven then like they, it's only
(33:26):
my mom really now.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
I mean, I was asking you that because the Department
of Human Services gives me hoursto find people to take care of
me, Like Eric, you know likethat's what they do.
So I was wondering if you hadthat same, like that same plan.
But apparently you hadcaregivers come to you, Right?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
How many hours would they stay?
My mom deals with all that.
I don't know if the amount ofhours.
How many years am I?
How many hours I get a month ora week?
112 hours a week.
112 hours a week.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
So you can't even have 24 hour care.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
No, not at all.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's scary man, because back then it's.
I mean, even to this day itstill scares me after no one's
here.
You know, like what if I, thevent pops off and I die?
Yeah man, what if it's a personthat doesn't want to be here?
You know, I am so grateful andblessed for the team that I have
(34:38):
for a lot of nurses and I'mblessed that I'm able to say
that I have 24 hour care and I'mreally sorry that you don't.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So my room is around the corner from my mom's and you
know, and she goes in her roomand the thing I'm glad I have is
the pacer.
So if it does pop off, but if Idon't have the pacer on, then
I'm really, really nervous.
(35:10):
Describe to the people what apacer is.
So I have a diaphragmic pacerand it makes your diaphragm, I
guess, work.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
From electric stimulations.
From electric stimulation thereyou go.
So if I pop Max's cap off andhis throat, if I take his trick
off, he's immediatelysuffocating.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Right, if I pop mine off.
I'm okay.
I'll be okay until somebodycomes.
For how long?
For as long as until somebodycomes.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
So that's it.
Just keeps pacing, huh yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
It's like a pacer for a heart kind of, but you have
to get the strength to use thediaphragmic pacer yeah, you have
to build that, yeah.
So you felt safe when you wereon the pacer.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
No, and I have both of them.
Like working simultaneously.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, okay, so you would have a ventilator and a
pacer on.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
Yeah, like all the time, even now, even right now,
I have the pacer going.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
So when you're at home, and let's go back in time
when you were younger, I meanyou know, Kudos to you, man, for
the grind going to college, allthat stuff I didn't do that, I
complained a lot and likelooking at you what you wanted
to go to college for?
I was in the military.
(36:44):
I was just thinking about themilitary and they just told me
keep doing this, keep doing thatand the military is going to
take care of you, and blah, blah, blah.
And they did it at the end.
I mean they take care of you,but they did it in the beginning
with nursing care.
They only gave me six hours aday and I was terrified and
(37:06):
they're like oh well, it's yourfamily because you didn't deploy
, so they have your family hasto take care of you.
And I'm like that's bullshit.
I signed a dotted line for themilitary.
They said they would take careof me.
They said we could take care ofyou by putting you in a nursing
home that's what they weresaying for 24 hour care.
(37:26):
And, dude, I had to deal withso many people stealing from me.
I had to deal with so manypeople like just the deception
was just off the charts.
So I ask you, did you have todeal with it?
Like you know?
Deception with friends ornurses or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (37:50):
No, so with my friends and stuff, it was pretty
much my family close to me.
My friends are got like two,two real close friends that I'm
(38:11):
still close to to this day andI'm like I'm so happy.
But as far as like friendscoming around, like they are
like disappeared Even to thisday, like even with my job and
(38:32):
stuff, like reaching out andstuff, Hold on hold on Working
to do a job.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Tell the people what you do.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
I'm an insurance guy.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
This man graduated paralyzed, neck down.
This man went to school ridingon public transportation
paralyzed neck down.
Now he's telling me you're aninsurance agent, trey would stay
far, trey would stay far.
Come on man, nothing stoppingyou.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
They should replace Jake with Trey.
She's dude.
Like you're, like aninspiration.
You know that, like to me, liketo me, I feel like I'm nothing
right now because, because ofall the things you did.
You have like the mind, youhave the intestinal fortune to
(39:23):
get through all this stuff, andfor me I like would always
complain, but sounds like youjust need the bare minimum.
Did you ever think like Ideserve 24 hour care?
This is bullshit.
Or do you just go with the flow?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I'm just go with the flow type of guy.
I don't know like I don't knowwhat what that is and where it
comes from.
I just been always that kidlike come think it comes from my
mom.
Honestly, like, once you startsomething, you better finish it,
(40:06):
Honestly like Trey's mom is notin real hard behind the scenes
you literally are paralyzed fromthe next down.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
So how did you do it?
Did you do it with the helppeople or did you just do it by
yourself?
Like obviously you went withsomebody because you're out of
that and I just I'm dumbfounded.
Honestly, I really am Like Ididn't know, you did all this
and you're.
You have a freaking job, which,which is insane.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
I could ask you, man?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I definitely appreciate you like the first
guy in my position that has ajob.
That's one.
College is for all theseamazing things.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Let him answer your question, because now you got me
curious.
Who would you rather was yourmom there every, every step of
the way, or every tire rotationof the way?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Yeah, so definitely my mom, so like that's why I
kind of stayed in like there,claire doing the clarinet, like
both my brothers.
They didn't stay in like they,they were both in bed, they
didn't stay in it.
And then what else?
He ain't on there?
(41:17):
My little brother was in it, hedidn't stay in it, but I did,
and I don't know Like you seemlike you're not scared of
anything and honestly, I'mscared of a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
The biggest thing I'm scared of is if my vent pops
off.
Like the biggest thing we thinkwe talk about when we're
interviewing Well, not interviewwhen we're interviewing someone
for a job is if I stop talkingand the vent is beeping, get the
ambo back.
You know what?
Speaker 3 (41:52):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
You seem like you can go to bed by yourself, like do
you have like care?
Like when you go to sleep?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
No, it's just having to pace it back up.
Honestly.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
So what about, like, if you need a drink of water or
something like that, like, howdo you like, how do you don't
drink, I don't drink, I don'tdrink, so like at night, like I
might be hungry, I might bethirsty, like hey, my mom got
asleep, so.
Speaker 3 (42:23):
So sometimes, like I have to wake her up because so
like our system is, I call itthrough the night and with my
cell phone saying, ok, google,call mom and and she'll wake up,
and and you know, like, so yourmom is sugar.
(42:44):
I tried not to call it likethat's it's the last resort,
like if I'm probably calling it.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
So you call or you say you need a drink of water.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
No, I don't.
I don't ever call for a drinkof water emergency and you're
not breathing.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (43:07):
to signal like my lips like that, that's.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Max's, I do that like if we're close, but if I can't
get, I'm popping lips.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Both of you do your distress calls.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Yes so like when I got out of the hospital, I
partied.
That's why I did that party.
I was with my friends.
You know, I had money with theVA and stuff, so I was able to
do these fun things and I didn'tcare about my health that much.
Not my health, I didn't careabout, like, the safety stuff
that I need.
So I'd be going to clubs, I'dbe doing this and I wouldn't
(43:48):
even have an amy bag.
The amy bag would be in the carand I would have like girls on
me and they would rip the ventoff.
They would rip the vent off andthen I would click, and then
they before this my brother toldthem, if I start clicking late,
come and get me, and my brotherwould come and see my life.
I almost died on a girl becauseof this situation.
(44:13):
So I just I think it's crazyyou're not scared because I'm
like what's the most terrifyingthing that has happened during
this position You've been in for16 years?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
So sometimes I'm not able to get in touch with my mom
and what's the my like a pacer,like it's acting up, I should
(44:47):
say.
So it wasn't doing its job,Like it barely like gave me
breath, so the ventilator was onme and I'm trying to pop to get
my mom and it's coming off.
So I had to the ventilator'scoming off.
(45:10):
So I had to like calm myselfand be like okay, Like I'm
thinking, okay, this is the end.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
That's how I feel all the time.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
So in the end I just closed my eyes and prayed and my
mom ended up coming in.
I wasn't able to call her on myphone.
And was it this year?
(45:46):
No, no, it was last year.
Last year, january, and I thinkit was like January 2nd.
That was one time I was kind ofscared.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Has your vent ever popped off Like and you had to
use your signal?
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Yeah, a few times like like, but they were close
by.
It wasn't like like nighttimeand she's that's serious for me
and yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
So, eric, I told Eric , amen, I need an assistant, she
wants job.
And then he thinks I'm blowingsmoke, right.
I tell him, like my nursesdon't know what they're doing
and I'm talking about nurses-Wait, how did y'all meet?
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh shit, here we go, all right.
So I made music back in the day.
It's still in me, it's just notproducing out of me.
Okay, I'll get back at it,don't worry about it.
So Max messaged me like, hey,bro, I really like that
Halloween wrap.
I had a little Halloween wrapthat went like a little tiny
viral, like local viral.
Okay, I'm gonna check it out,yeah, yeah, and he's like yo,
(47:02):
he's like it'll be cool to meetsometime and I'm like damn.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
I thought I said we should party.
This is when I was partying in2017.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
And I was like, damn, I gotta meet this kid.
But like life was moving fast,I didn't make the time and I
went through something whereI've hit my own version of a
little rock bottom Right, like Iwas going through the stressors
of life and then I thought tomyself like bro, remember Max?
Like that motherfucker can'teven brush his own teeth Like
what are you stressing about?
I was like you're right, I'mgonna hit him up.
(47:31):
Finally, you know.
So, two years later, I hit Maxup.
My hey, man, how you been, bro,what's up?
He's like, honestly, I'm so.
He didn't believe we justtalked about this like what last
week.
He didn't believe that.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
He said this, I forgot this, yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
But he's like.
He's like, honestly, it's theworst I've ever been.
All my friends left me.
I'm just, I'm just alone in myroom all day and I was like man,
forget that.
Like, let me know what you'redoing this weekend.
I'll meet you.
And he's like, I got a paradeto go to.
If you want to meet me there,I'm like, let's go, give me the
address.
So I'm thinking he's like goingto be under a canopy on a
Memorial Day parade.
(48:05):
Man, I meet with this guy.
He's suited up in his uniformand right when I walk up to him,
sup max, yo, sup, eric.
Then the soldiers next to himsay are you ready?
He's with you.
And he's like, yeah, next thing, you know, I'm walking through
the city of Dundee, right nextto the Quad Father himself
leading the Memorial Day parade.
We got police cars andfirefighters behind us carrying
(48:28):
flags and everyone's cheering onthe sidelines.
I'm like, man, I'm glad I worea button up.
And then you know that onething led to another and he was
vested to me about how he felt,like he couldn't do nothing.
I'm like, bro, you got yourvoice, let's do a motherfucking
podcast.
And he responds telling me Ican't do a podcast.
He said I can't.
He said I tried with my friends.
My voice is too low.
(48:49):
I said fuck your friends, let'sgo Over 60 episodes later.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
And man like he thought I was blowing smoke when
I offered him a job.
Oh no, no, oh.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
So back to that.
He would tell me like, oh youknow, these nurses don't know my
care, Like you know, and I'mthinking, dog, they're nurses
Like I'm thinking he's justtrying to butter me up to like,
keep me around, you know, and itwasn't until he was in a Hoyer
lift.
He was in the air.
Speaker 2 (49:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
You're in the air.
And then what happened?
The vent popped off and hecouldn't breathe, so he starts
clicking.
So I'm looking at the nurselike she got it.
She's a deer in headlights,she's mine, for real dude.
She didn't know what to do, sohe's like for the ambo bag,
right, right.
And I'm looking at her like I'mon the other side of the of Max
(49:44):
in the air and she's next tothe vent and she's, the ambo bag
is right on the vent.
So you know, I'm watching herlike, I'm, like, I'm like grab
the ambo bag, you know.
So then she puts the ambo bag on.
I'm commanding her what to do.
And I'm like pump them, youknow.
And then I'm like you see thatthat little nozzle right there
that's undone, reach for that,plug it back in, you know,
(50:05):
because I'm on the other sideand she did it and we got him
breathing again.
And that's when he looked at melike he's gave me that look.
Speaker 2 (50:12):
That spoke a thousand words you know, dude, this
happens to me so much.
It's happened to me so much,I've almost died that means you
got to get pacing bro.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
You have to pace her installed.
And you, how come you don'twant to go?
It's because of the federallater he's.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
I don't like the trilogy.
I like to be able to talk andkeep talking and keep talking
and keep talking.
And if I go on the trilogy I'mgoing to have to talk.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
So tell the people what, what, what the other
events would do.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Tell the people why you won't pace because they're
going to make me go on adifferent event your event and I
have to like wait for a breathto talk, and it's the worst.
Speaker 3 (50:53):
No, you don't have to wait, I can keep going and keep
going, and keep going, and keepgoing, and keep going.
Speaker 2 (51:02):
No, you just, you just said, you just said, you
just.
I mean, maybe it's an excuse.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
Maybe it is.
Speaker 2 (51:09):
Maybe I'll give a shot.
You honestly have inspired methis whole podcast, this whole
podcast.
Like I've never met someone inmy position that is just so
independent in his own way.
It's.
It's honestly astonishing.
It really is.
I I'm never like this.
I'm not.
(51:30):
I'm usually the one motivatingpeople, but do you fucking
motivate me?
You're inspiring me to do thesethings.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
Doing that right there.
That camp just made me inspiredfrom X.
You can do it, bro.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
I feel like it's just a vent.
It's the issue.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
It's not the vent, it's the basis.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Are you on the vent right?
Speaker 3 (51:58):
now.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
So you're talking normally.
Sorry, keep talking.
Speaker 3 (52:02):
Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking, keep
talking, keep talking.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
So I mean that pause scares me.
Speaker 1 (52:14):
But sometimes, sometimes it gives you a
presence of power, like, forinstance, christopher Reeves.
That's how he spoke.
You know, christopher Reeves,right, superman and his pacer
was the same way, or his ventwas the same way, but when he
would talk he would have to talklike this.
But that pause kind of makesyou sound powerful you know,
(52:35):
instead of just rambling andrambling and rambling, the human
mind could only keep up for solong until they start hearing
fuff, fuff, fuff, fuff, fuffwhen you're talking.
But yo, I wanted to get back toyou and we're at the 55 minute
mark of the podcast and wetalked about everything before
the accident shortly after theaccident, and I want to talk
(52:58):
more light on the amazing thingsthat you went through after
your accident, like, for example, after Max's accident, patrick
Kane he got assigned Jersey fromPatrick Kane.
He met the team.
You know we went to theChappelle concert.
We both did that.
You know we go to the Unitedcenter often Like is there any
shows, any people you've met,any blessings that you've got, I
(53:19):
lead parades, you know likestuff like that.
Speaker 2 (53:22):
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (53:26):
So I say 2011,.
I went to the All-Star gamewith Make a Wish.
I was able to get the ball,sorry by Koby Wow.
In the whole team, east andWest, that was Derek Rose.
(53:51):
That's what.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
I want to do oh dear, oh dear.
Speaker 1 (53:54):
You got Koby Derek Rose 2011.
Those are all like the bestplayers, hey dude, oh shit.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
Dirk Israel, don J Koby signature alone.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Yeah so.
Speaker 3 (54:09):
Koby is crazy.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
So your perseverance, your drive, your tenacity.
It inspires the fuck out of you.
It really does, and I'm goingto start thinking differently
now.
Usually I stay in bed all day.
No joke, stay in bed all dayand I just get dressed, watch TV
(54:35):
.
I've been reading lately,that's my goal.
I've been reading every day for30 minutes or more, you know,
but I got to start doing moreand you inspire the fuck out of
me because when there's a wallthere, you just break through it
, man, like everything the storyyou've told me, and you're
(54:57):
freaking your vagraness, youknow.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Right.
Speaker 2 (55:02):
Not being scared Like I'm more scared than you.
It's crazy man and I got allthe help.
Do you know like you inspirethe lobby?
Speaker 1 (55:15):
I definitely appreciate that.
I don't know.
I think Chris is going for some.
Speaker 2 (55:19):
Okay, well, turn off.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
Turn what off?
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Oh it's pretty, it's a hit, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1 (55:27):
The podcast can't hear it.
Speaker 3 (55:29):
Oh my, let me get the Right back there.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
Okay, so you start eating your breath.
Speaker 3 (55:36):
No, no, I thought that was annoying.
Speaker 2 (55:41):
No, it wasn't you, it was in another room I was
freaking out like I would freakout doing what you just did.
I don't know how you do it.
I really don't like you.
You this is definitely one ofthe best podcasts I've done,
honestly, cuz like I'm sittingnext to a guy that literally has
(56:04):
no excuse Like neither shouldyou every person out there
listening if you're freaking outover a girl or a test or an
exam, or your car is broke.
Just remember, somebody has itway worse.
Somebody has it way worse.
You know ever me like I'mthinking this guy has a way
(56:24):
worse, but he's tenacity andJust is charisma.
You look like you're doingbetter than me.
Speaker 3 (56:33):
No, how we do you all in this together, you know.
Speaker 2 (56:36):
I know, I know, I know this, but right now, like
you're giving me motivation,that's what.
I'm saying, hey, I needsomething.
I kick in the ass and I neverreally meet with people.
I'm vence because, like I don'tknow, I just thought my best
friend Chuck, he's not a fan, hewas in the army just like me.
(56:59):
Same unit.
Mm-hmm just different time, youknow, and I never really talked
to people on vents.
Speaker 1 (57:04):
But Chuck is very nice chest down, by the way,
yeah.
Speaker 2 (57:08):
Brothers and arms.
That's the podcast, but do youFuckin inspire me?
You know, I think that's thebest way to end this podcast,
cuz like I Honestly man, like IWant to be around you more.
Speaker 3 (57:28):
No, seriously.
Speaker 2 (57:30):
I never get set up to drive.
I have issues with that.
The human event.
Mm-hmm it drives out my throatlike crazy you have no idea, bro
Like it's the worst thing ever.
It's because of the pain that Ihave my throat, so I'm always
on this other vent, you know thehome vent.
(57:51):
So I mean I just like I loveyour drive man and you keep
driving and I know I know yougot shot driving but you're
fucking driving to freakinghappiness, driving to the
pursuit of happiness right nowyeah that's all you honestly.
(58:11):
Great, great story, great,everything you Like.
If I could clap, I would Shoutmy boy tree, come into my house
with mama.
You know you are always welcome.
You're always welcome.
Speaker 1 (58:32):
I never seen someone, I never seen max give someone
so many flowers.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
No, I definitely appreciate that, definitely
appreciate.
Speaker 2 (58:42):
You don't understand that, like I have so many
excuses and you like I hope Ican get your number and we can
talk and stuff you know Cuzyou're the motivation.
Oh, this person can have a job.
This person has a job.
(59:03):
He's taking care of himself.
This person went to school andgot on a bus.
It's like you didn't give afuck what people thought.
Speaker 1 (59:14):
I visited trade.
Remember when I visited you andI told you I was like man, I
thought max would motivate youfor life.
But I think you gonna motivatemax.
Speaker 3 (59:23):
Lou haven't Motivated you voice, your purse arrives,
you know, right there as well.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
We, we in this field, like it really does it you know
that.
Speaker 1 (59:40):
You know that's a good thing.
I feel like that's a good thing, or there's people out here
that are okay with beingcomplacent.
But when you're not okay withbeing complacent, that means
your brain is telling you to dosomething about it, and your
brain is telling you to dosomething about it.
Yeah, it's like that meansyou're built different.
Speaker 2 (59:58):
It's, yeah, it's like you.
Doing all those things Made methink, wow, I wasted a lot of
years doing a bunch of stupidshit, watching a bunch of stupid
shows.
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
I should have been consumed a better better late
than never.
Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
Exactly and you fucking killed it.
I hope one day you become amillionaire or something yeah,
that's insurance agents, asianand telling away something you
know.
But I'm happy that your familytook care of you.
Your family was there for youand your mom was there for you
(01:00:34):
and I'm guessing she's yourbiggest inspiration, was she?
Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Yeah, of course, without her wouldn't be.
No, me Most definitely Shoutout to you, man.
Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Thank you for being on this show.
I just like You've changed myperspective of life.
You really have Yo.
Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
My name is Tray and I'm living my life to the max.
Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
And what about your message?
Give the people a message, comeon, man.
Speaker 3 (01:01:02):
Better late than never.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.