December 14, 2025 • 46 mins
What if the love you need isn’t a feeling at all? We sat down with Rob and Stephanie to unpack a winding adoption journey that began on mission trips and led to a Thai orphanage, a handful of miracles, and a daily practice of surrender. The story starts with simple compassion for children overseas, grows through years of closed doors and waiting, and arrives at a moment in Haiti when a small hand and a sharper question from God changed everything.
You’ll hear how “anchor moments” confirmed their path—an agency email from Bangkok, their daughter serving nearby, and an orphanage only a mile and a half away—culminating in a yes on a little girl’s seventh birthday. Bringing Mali home didn’t match the warm picture they imagined. Cerebral palsy wasn’t the biggest hurdle; navigating grief, fear, and rejection was. Stephanie speaks candidly about the trenches, the day she wrote “God, I hate this,” and the shift that came when she asked God to love through her instead of chasing feelings. That prayer marked the start of a steady, durable love that held when nothing else did.
This conversation is a field guide to agape: letting go of expectations, practicing surrender when comfort collapses, and remembering the gospel when love isn’t returned. We talk about how journaling anchors your memory, why joy is different from happiness, and how adoption mirrors the heart of God—He loved us when we resisted Him. If you’re discerning adoption, wrestling with a hard yes, or simply trying to love better at home, these stories and takeaways offer clarity and courage.
Listen, share with someone who needs hope, and if the message resonates, subscribe and leave a review to help others find the show.
New episodes every Monday
www.lifehousemot.com
info@lifehousede.com
Join us Sundays at 9 & 11 AM
Intro music by Joey Blair
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:17):
Well, what's up, Life Talk family?
Welcome back to the Life TalkPodcast.
Always great to be coming to youtoday.
This is Nate, and we are inDecember.
For those who were with us lastweek, Pastor Mark started the
month off of We Love.
And so I would encourageeverybody, if you haven't
listened to that episode, gocheck it out.
(00:37):
But what we want to do thismonth, bring some great
testimonies of what Christianlove really looks like.
And so today I am super excitedto be joined by Rob and
Stephanie Light.
How are you guys doing today?
Doing well.
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
Yeah, we're doing good.
SPEAKER_02 (00:52):
Man, you guys, I love getting couples on.
It's pretty cool.
Although we just never knowwhat's going to happen when we
get, and especially Rob.
This will be an adventure foreverybody.
But uh, I think everybody mayknow uh the Life Life House
family knows Rob.
He is our uh worship pastor andhis testimony man way back in
the archives.
When was that, Rob?
Like 20, who knows?
(01:14):
It's been a while, right?
We may have to update it, dolike a part two.
Yeah, it was probably one of ourfirst ones.
I think it was.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
So that was the most important.
No, I'm just he was Rob Rob hasa the barrel is empty, so
they're like, hey Rob, can youshare get on here?
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
So I definitely encourage those who haven't
heard Rob's testimony.
Uh you can go back and checkthat out.
But Steph, first time rookie onon the Life Talk podcast.
So just tell us a little bitabout Steph so our listeners can
get to know you a little bit andhow you got tied in with this
guy.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Yeah.
Or maybe he got tied in with me.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (01:47):
Amen.
SPEAKER_03 (01:48):
Okay.
So I um, well, first of all, Iwas born and raised in Delaware
and blessed.
Native Delaware.
Yes, yes.
And I love it and I'm proud ofit.
And um I was blessed to be in aChristian home.
My grandfather was the pastor ofour church, went to a Christian
school, and I loved it.
Um, went to Liberty Universityfor college, and I was only
(02:08):
there for two years, but I metRob there, and um we ended up
singing on a team together.
We traveled together, and youknow, the rest is history.
We ended up getting married, andbut after that, we traveled for
years with a missionsorganization.
And um, but back up, I was I wassaved when I was 13.
So I grew up, I grew up uh inthe church and everything, and
(02:31):
for the longest time, I justknew that my Bible said I asked
Jesus in my heart when I wasfive years old.
So I went with that.
But and I knew all the things,you know.
And then finally at 13, Irealized, wait, this this is
supposed to be for me.
Like this is a personaldecision.
And um, so I actually was savedat 13.
And then obviously, you know, Iwas still so young, so God just,
(02:52):
you know, was teaching me somuch.
And then really when I went awayto college, um, is when I I
really started experiencing theLord.
And it wasn't just my family'sfaith, but it was my personal
faith.
And I so many cool stories ofthe way God worked in my life
and and led me and directed meand guided me, and um just
seeing his hand tangibly in mylife.
(03:13):
It was it was amazing.
And then then we met and uh gotmarried in '99.
And uh and then traveled andworked with a missions
organization out of Virginia.
Um really great years.
And um, and actually that's alsowhere Calling Levi was born out
of.
Um, we got to travel with Markand Tammy, and but then at the
(03:33):
end of that, we traveled for ayear with an orphan choir,
actually, um 23 differentchildren from all over the
world.
And they were uh uh thisorganization we worked for
provided for them and likesupported them, supported their
orphanages.
And they came over to the statesto kind of raise money.
We would travel around.
We lived in an RV.
We did not have kids yet.
(03:53):
And um, we traveled in an RV,went from church to church every
weekend, stayed in hotels.
And that um, I think I knowwe're gonna talk about adoption.
That that for me and all themission trips that we did, um,
India, Philippines, China, HongKong, you know, a lot of
different places, uh, seeing theorphans and and working with
them is what really I thinkplanted the seed in my heart for
(04:14):
adoption.
SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
So we're kind of seeing that early on, being
exposed to the need, seeing theorphan.
We know the Bible tells us theorphan and the widow, especially
the most vulnerable.
And certainly in our month of welove, you know, if you're going
to love, you know, love requiressacrifice.
We'll talk about that.
I know that'll be part of yourstory, but especially to care
(04:35):
for you know, people in thosesituations, like it's not gonna
be easy, like it's going to be abig need.
And so I think, yeah, seeingthat.
So maybe talk a little bit moreabout like what did you see in
kind of those orphans or youknow, just kind of how God was
starting to plant those seeds inyour heart.
SPEAKER_03 (04:50):
Well, for me, I love kids.
They they crack me up.
I think they're so funny.
And I just I loved being aroundthe kids.
And um, so when we would gooverseas or we would go, I I
know actually we Kirby andLetitia went on, Letitia's our
children's uh director here, andthey went on one of the trips
with us and with Mark and Tammy.
And I know that um we actuallyspent the night in an orphanage,
(05:14):
all of us, Mark and Tammy too, Ibelieve, and Rob, the guy slept
over in the the kid, the boys'hostel, and we were in the
girls, and I think for me, likeit just hit me one night, and I
didn't even have kids yet.
I can't even imagine how I wouldhave reacted after I had my own
kids.
SPEAKER_00 (05:28):
No way.
SPEAKER_03 (05:29):
But I just remember, I mean, we were young and uh I
don't even know if we weremarried.
I don't think we were marriedyet, but um, I just remember
sleeping in this literally inthis orphanage with these kids,
and they each had like onelittle mat, one little blanket,
everything they owned, which wasnot very much at all, just was
underneath their mat.
But when we got into the room,Letitia and I shared a room.
(05:50):
And when we got in there, theyall, all the girls basically
gave us all their blankets andpiled up some of their mats on
our beds.
We slept on these wooden bunkbeds.
Um, it was an experience.
I actually, I actually got lacedfrom that experience.
But I did not sleep good.
I got I got very sick.
And anyway, but I just rememberlaying there in the middle of
(06:12):
the night.
I could not sleep.
And I mean, all these girlslaying on the floor, and these
were little kids, like down tolike three years old, up to
teenagers.
And um, I just remember lying inthe bed and looking down and
being like, uh, there's this isthey're not on a trip.
We're on a trip.
I'm uncomfortable for one night.
This is their life.
Like, and I just remember myheart.
(06:34):
I mean, I'm probably gonna cry alot tonight.
I just remember my heart beinglike, Well, who tucks them in?
Like, who who cares for them?
And they did have caretakers,but there's so many of them.
And for me, that night was like,oh my gosh, I'm gonna adopt
someday.
And I wasn't, we weren'tmarried.
I didn't talk to him about it,but I just knew.
I mean, that was so long ago,and it took us a while to
(06:56):
finally get here.
But um, that to me was a verybig seed that was planted in my
heart that night.
SPEAKER_02 (07:02):
Yeah, no, and so yeah, for our listeners, Steph
Telegraphing, today we will be,you know, especially talking
about adoption.
And I think like you hit, youknow, the need for a parent, you
know, and of course, just in ourfaith, like we know that we are
adopted into the family of Godand how then we live out that
love.
I think adoption is theology inthe sense of, yeah, God had to
(07:23):
adopt us, he had to save us, hehad to bring us into his family.
And so I think how you were kindof seeing that tie in and seeing
those planted.
And so toss it over to Rob.
You know, maybe uh, you know,and my wife and I are on an
adoption journey, uh, they saylike there's a dragger and a
drag e.
How did uh Rob, were you thedragie in this, or how did God
(07:44):
kind of work in your heart earlyon towards towards adoption?
SPEAKER_01 (07:48):
I think um, you know, not to uh put all the guys
in one in in one corner, but umlike every guy I've ever met
that is an adopted, that hasadopted it's the wife first,
right?
Because we've got the plan.
It seems like it's you know, Idon't know, you know, you got
the plan in in mind, you've got,you know, and I've learned early
(08:10):
on not to have a three-year,five-year, ten-year plan because
God always changes it.
It's kind of funny how we thinkwe're the boss of our own lives.
I like to think that.
Yeah.
So um not so much that part, butyou know, we're we're good.
We're uh we have we have threekids, you know, everybody's
healthy, everyone's, you know,you know, kids are doing well,
(08:31):
um stability, you know, comfort.
It's it's starting to settledown.
And um yeah, I was drug into it.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
So Steph first coming to you.
I know.
Yeah, I remember her hearing wasvery early, but I remember early
on in our marriage, she wouldsay something.
SPEAKER_01 (08:49):
I would love to adopt a little Indian kid.
Because we we've been therethree times, and they're they're
you know, like she said, youheard the story, so we just
bonded.
It's funny, you'll see a littleuh still even to this day, I'll
see a little Indian kid, and Iwant to uh it turn into a little
creeper because I'm like, heylittle guy, what's your name?
But um, but yeah, we that's whenGod's gonna be a little bit more
(09:09):
than get in the white van, kids.
So yeah, so um, no, I'm sorry.
But um, yeah, it's just uh shebrought it in early, and I was
thinking, I don't think I evertold her no initially, but I was
thinking, you know, I'm I'm I'myoung, I'm inexperienced, even a
young growing Christian.
(09:30):
So like my thought is why wouldyou adopt when you you can have
kids?
You know, I understand if youcan't have if you can't have a
child, maybe something is goingon um between you and your
spouse and and uh you knowmedically that's it's not gonna
happen.
Yeah, that's a good opportunityto do it.
So I really didn't think aboutit any other why would you adopt
um when you can have your ownkids.
(09:51):
So so it really didn't um hit meum I mean my first missions trip
I was in high school and sodefinitely my eyes were open to
what the other worldexperiences.
Um and then blessed, you know,went on um a couple other trips,
and then when Steph came toLiberty, we went on a couple
(10:11):
trips, and then with ourmissions organization we went
every year.
Went to Nepal uh one time, Indiathree times, China, Philippines,
Hong Kong, Brazil, it's justcrazy good st good trips, and
every trip God would show mesomething a little bit more.
And I think maybe in the verybeginning he was I know I know
(10:34):
he was talking to me, but umnow, but at the time I just
didn't listen to it.
So so so things are going good,and then all of a sudden out of
nowhere she starts laying it onpretty thick.
SPEAKER_03 (10:47):
And um Because God was laying it on thick.
SPEAKER_02 (10:50):
This was about 2016, was that what you said?
SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Uh this was actually uh 2018 heading into 19.
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
He was he was getting and we we've we've got
uh at the time we have um Judewas you know six-ish, yeah,
five.
And I'm thinking there was a biggap there because we were on the
road and we just decided, hey,let's hold off.
The bus isn't gonna fit any morekids.
Um and in my mind, I'm thinking,okay, the the kids are starting
(11:19):
to get in the high school.
You try you s start to see thethe end of the road as far as
life with kids, and then we'retalking about starting all over,
you know.
So almost like guys, if you'relistening when she says, Let's
have another baby, and you'relike, Well, wait a minute.
Same feeling, because you haveeverything, you have everything
set and in order, and that'sgonna mess up my selfish plan.
SPEAKER_02 (11:44):
So yeah, very good.
So well, Steph, maybe what kindof moved it to the forefront?
How are you really feeling?
SPEAKER_03 (11:50):
I just felt God, I I I can't really explain it other
than it's all I could thinkabout, and it was very heavy on
my heart.
But I also tend to, when I getan idea in my head, I think
about it a lot and start likereally like focusing on it.
So I I would really pray, like,God, is this you or is this just
me, you know, I'm getting sadbecause Jude's getting older
now.
But I knew really deep down ithad been in my on my heart since
(12:12):
before we ever even got married.
So I I I would bring it up tohim a lot.
And so he was very briefly, I'lltell this, he was leaving to
take Grace on her first missiontrip with Lifehouse.
They were going to Haiti.
And um, she was actually 16, Iremember, and um, or maybe 15.
Anyway, um, they were gettingready to leave.
And I don't know why I thought Ishould bring up, hey, we should
(12:33):
really adopt.
I feel very strongly about this,like when they're leaving that
night after midnight for thistrip.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
It's very stressful.
You're packing.
SPEAKER_03 (12:40):
We got in a we got in pretty good arguments.
Let's adopt right now, today.
It was one of our probably ourtop arguments of our marriage.
And I just remember being soupset and upset with myself too,
just because you know, this wasa big deal.
Grace was going on her firstmission trip, which completely
like led her down a path with aheart for missions.
And and I just remember afterthey left, I just remember
(13:01):
crying and I just told God I waslike, okay, I'm done.
I'm not bringing this up everagain to Rob.
So if this really is you, I needyou to tell him.
And if it's not, please take itoff my heart because it's
driving me crazy.
It's all I can think about.
And so I basically decided tofast and pray while he was away
on this trip.
And I did not bring it up tohim.
I didn't tell him I was doingit.
I didn't tell anyone.
(13:22):
And um, the it was gettingstronger.
And I was like, God, please, areyou giving it to me more or
what's happening?
So, and literally, probably thefirst thing out of his mouth.
They got in in the middle of thenight and it was the next
morning, and we were talking,and one of the first things out
of his mouth was, Well, God toldme we're supposed to adopt.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
And I mean, he That's when I got back, or yeah,
when you got back.
Okay, I thought it was when IFaceTimed you from No, no, no.
SPEAKER_03 (13:48):
You told me.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
I kept it inside.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
No, he was FaceTiming me with this adorable
little boy that he kind of fellin love with over there, and and
and Grace was with him, and theywould just, you know, FaceTime
and send pictures anyway.
Basically that that day.
And so that's when you know, wejust hit the ground running and
praying and seeking God.
And and there is a whole longstory with miracle after
miracle, yeah.
Um, I mean, insane miracles thatGod did.
(14:13):
And I wrote it all down in myjournal.
And I mean, I would love toshare it.
If anybody is ever interested inhearing it, I would love to
share it, but it's too long toshare it today.
But but overall in that journey,and and then I can skip ahead to
when we got to Malie, butoverall in that journey, you
know, uh, God was tearing downpieces of wall in my heart.
(14:34):
Like, and it took a while.
And and you know, here I thoughtyou were talking about love, and
like it's really easy to see anadorable little child in need
and feel love in your heart andcompassion.
And that's and we did.
And so you think that's how it'sgonna feel when you first adopt
and when you bring this childhome, and it's not the same
because it's that's now this isyour child, this is your
(14:55):
responsibility, and your comfortis rocked.
And and it really um, I wasn'tprepared for that.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
But I think too, so awesome that God brought you
along, right?
Sure.
Anything you would share fromthat trip or kind of really how
God spoke.
SPEAKER_01 (15:11):
So I I think this trip was like my 14th missions
trip and amazing.
Like I said, every trip Ilearned something new.
And um, you go on these missionstrips.
I know this isn't a missionsplug, but if you ever have the
opportunity, please do it.
I know it's big, I know yougotta take vacation time, I
know, and I know, I know, Iknow, but it's worth it.
And you think you girt you'regoing over there to do something
(15:33):
good, to put rice in a littlekid's belly, or to to build a
house for a family, or put aroof on for a church, and you're
gonna do this and this and thisevery time.
At least for me, when I've comeback, I'm like, man, Rob, this
this was this was good.
Not for them, it was good forme.
Because I get to, you know, see,I get to be reminded, I get to
see what the ends of the earthlook like and what we should be
(15:55):
focused on.
So anyway, we're over there andum we are it's pretty fresh,
fresh off the plane.
We you know, we get there andwe're walking to our first
event, and it's like a acommunity, church wide event.
They're bringing all thecommunity, and when anybody
visits, the whole communitycomes out because it's something
new, something different.
(16:15):
They don't have the luxuriesthat we have.
So anything that is out of theordinary, they're interested,
let's go.
So we are walking to thischurch, dirt roads, and all of a
sudden this this little handgrabs my hand and I look down
(16:36):
and I'm like, hey, hey there.
And um, yeah, I was just like itit that was easy for me.
It's always been easy to love.
Um, like Stephanie said, whodoesn't love little kids?
You know, um true love is lovingthem unconditionally.
(16:59):
And it's easy to it's easy tolove someone when they love you
back.
SPEAKER_03 (17:03):
Or without responsibility.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (17:05):
Um, but man, um That's why grandparenting is
great, right?
Yeah, I'm so like.
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Yeah, that's a good point.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
So yeah, so I'm holding this hand, I'm like,
okay, this is cool.
And um not you know, we're we'rejust walking and um um God just
speaks to my heart.
So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,just a minute.
Exactly.
He he even talked my casualspeaking voice.
He goes, wait, wait, wait.
(17:32):
So okay, so it's okay that Iadopted you, my family, but it's
not okay for you to adopt.
SPEAKER_02 (17:42):
I was like, wow, some truth right there.
Holy Spirit speaking to yourheart.
SPEAKER_01 (17:49):
And he came hard and and um I mean immediately uh the
the white flag went up.
I was like, you got you got me.
You know, if if if I am afollower of Christ, um yeah,
(18:09):
show me big boy.
You know, so so that's when Igave up.
And I was just like, yeah, it'snot, man.
I'm I'm such a jerk, I'm soselfish.
And so um, so yeah, that's whenit started, and then that whole
trip was just solidifying it inmy mind.
And um, yeah, like I said, Ican't remember when I told her,
but I thought it was on thephone, but yeah, I probably just
kept it inside because that's abig deal.
(18:31):
So um, so yeah, made thedecision, and then we started,
you know.
SPEAKER_03 (18:36):
The process.
Yeah, oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02 (18:40):
But I don't want to leave.
I mean, that's awesome, the HolySpirit, and I would even just
something you said aboutmissions trips too, like in
terms of love.
Like you say, when you make thatsacrifice, like a lot of people
like, I don't want to do this,and I know we'll play adoption's
bigger, but even just themission trip of a few weeks,
like it's you're sacrificing.
But when you do, like you said,that's when it comes back.
A lot of people are like when itworks, I'll wait till I like
(19:02):
really feel like it.
And if you hadn't gone on thattrip and seen all of those
things along, then you know,where would God be in that?
So it's a great story, but Ialso want to just taking mission
trips is making a sacrifice, butit comes back to you in terms of
what you get from it too.
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
So I I I believe he works when we surrender.
Amen.
That's so it's just bottom line.
SPEAKER_03 (19:24):
And even that surrender to me is the it's
literally like the the littlegolden key to everything in your
walk with Christ because it's ityou can't love without
surrender.
You can't you you can't do it,you can, but it's not gonna go
very far.
You know, the true love thatwe're talking about, the agape
love, it it can only come withsurrender.
(19:46):
And yeah, I'm that's huge.
SPEAKER_02 (19:49):
We have to experience God's love and give
in to that and then allow that.
Yeah, amazing.
So so that's awesome.
Yeah, I appreciate you guysbeing open and I know it's
emotional, and yeah, but all ina good Way God working it alive.
So that was, you know, like yousaid, 2019.
So I know we probably can't dothe whole, you know, it's been
several years.
I think the important part, likewe feel called, and I mean, I
(20:11):
know I can share my testimony inthe sense of won't go into it,
but like, all right, let's go,God, let's do this tomorrow,
right?
You know, but that's not alwayshow God works.
So maybe just I know it wasseveral years, there were some
ups and downs, anything, andkind of that waiting and how
love is patient.
You know, we know God's love ispatient, but you guys had to be
patient in a lot of ways.
SPEAKER_03 (20:30):
We did, we were forced to be.
SPEAKER_02 (20:31):
Talking a little bit about the journey, you know, a
little bit overall, maybe.
SPEAKER_03 (20:35):
Well, we definitely were very um, very excited.
And even for him to be excited,it was just like, I don't know.
I saw we just started moving.
And I was like, I was like,okay, let's see, which well, uh
first of all, we didn't know ifwe were gonna adopt from
overseas or here, and we werefine with whatever.
I fully believed that God knewwho our child was going to be or
(20:55):
who it was, and it was just ourjob to listen and to follow.
And so we were we startedimmediately praying, God, is it
local?
Are we are are we doinginternational, domestic?
You know, what is it?
Please show us.
And and I wasn't really gettinga lot of answers.
And anyway, I won't go into thestory because there were two
different boys that we reallythought we were adopting, but
God 100% led us to these boys.
(21:18):
And now coming back around, Hewas using them in our hearts and
in our lives to uh to break downwalls, like I said, to take
bricks out of this giant wallthat and we didn't think we had
it up.
We were, we were like, Yeah,let's go, let's do this.
And we did not realize the prideand the selfishness and the
things that were in our heartthat that he needed to get rid
(21:38):
of first before we could evenstep into this, because then
there was going to be even evendeeper work that he had to do.
So basically, you know, wethought we were good to go.
And hey, we're ready, let's dothis, we're gonna love this
child and you know, all thisstuff.
And and looking back now, I justknow that he had to do this deep
work within us over this time ofwaiting.
(21:59):
And and I mean, at one point, myfaith was really rocked and to
where I was face down on thefloor one day and did not know
what to think anymore.
I I just I it was bad, it wasdark, and but I needed to get
there and I needed God to takeme there and pull me back out
just to show me that he was inthis and and that he was gonna
do this.
We weren't gonna do this, he wasgonna do it in us and through
(22:20):
us.
And um, so it was a longjourney, 2019.
We said this, yes, we were soexcited, and and like I said,
miracle after miracle, it'sactually crazy the way he led us
to these two different boys,which I also believe um not just
for our sake, but for theirsake.
Uh Asa was the second boy thatwe thought we were adopting and
we shared a lot about him.
And here he's, you know, he wasin this orphanage that, you
(22:44):
know, nobody probably knew him.
Obviously, nobody really fromhere probably knew him.
And, you know, hundreds ofpeople that we know because of
social media and stuff arepraying for him, and we're
praying for him, and we're stillpraying for him.
So now he has this, you know,Christian family that is praying
over him and praying for him.
And to me, that was really coolthat God used that um in that
way.
But anyway, he finally um led usto Malie in another miraculous
(23:07):
way, took us till 2023.
We finally found her.
Um, crazy, amazing story.
And I won't go into it exceptfor the fact that Grace was um
just left for six months to goto Thailand on a mission trip.
And she was there.
And 11 days after she getsthere, I get an email from our
agency here in Delaware sayinghello from Thailand.
(23:30):
And they send me this file.
First time in five years thatthey send me a file of a child,
because we were still waiting.
China shut down, just to make itclear, because of COVID, China
shut down, which they're stillshut down, unfortunately.
Um, but we've decided to waitbecause of the way God brought
us to that place.
We knew it was him, and so wewere just gonna wait.
I didn't understand, you know,but and they're still shut down,
(23:51):
by the way.
SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:52):
And so uh 11 days after Grace gets there, I get
this email from our agency fromWilmington, Delaware saying, you
know, hello from Thailand.
I'm like, what's going on?
They send me this file.
Grace called, I'm looking atthis adorable little girl.
Grace calls me 10 minutes later.
Grace FaceTimes me because it'snighttime there.
And I'm like, that's so crazy.
You're calling the my agencyliterally just sent me a file of
a little girl from Thailand,which Bangkok alone has 10
(24:15):
million people in it.
So it's massive.
And with New York City.
Yeah, they email me back and Iemail them and said, Oh my
goodness, my daughter is inThailand for six months.
And and I said, She's inBangkok.
Where are you guys?
And they email back while I'm onthe phone with Grace.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's where this little girlis.
And they say the name of theorphanage she's at.
While we're on FaceTime, Gracelooks it up and it's a mile and
(24:35):
a half away from her apartment.
So at this point, I'm like, atthis point, I'm like, okay, we
didn't even, we didn't even needto pray about it.
By that night, we emailed themback, said yes, find out it's
her seventh birthday that wesaid, because it was the next
day at this point for them, andum said yes to her on her
seventh birthday.
It also was Life House'sanniversary.
(24:56):
It was just a lot of really coolthings, and God was very clear,
and and we started that process.
And um, that was 20 February of23 and March of 24.
We went over to get her.
We were there for two and a halfweeks.
Um, a very difficult, verydifficult trip.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
So, so yeah, let me just give you some more context.
Um, I know we're running outhere, but um so with that with
that adoption journey, there wasall these ups and downs and
brick walls, like with thesechildren, right?
These children that we felt Godwas leading us to.
Um you know, chu-shu was nolonger available, right?
(25:33):
Yeah, some other family came inand you kind of sit in a queue.
Once you've been a cu uhapproved, you sit in a queue,
you know.
And then they just start goingthrough the families, and it's
you just you just pray that'syou.
And um, so that was a dead end.
And then um with those boys, um,same thing.
We were we were too far back inthe queue.
(25:53):
And so so there it's all thishope, hope, hope, happy, happy,
boom, rock bottom, hope, hope,hope, happy, happy, boom,
bottom.
So this is now the fourth timewe've gone through this, and so
just to be honest, I'm justlike, yeah, right, whatever.
Yeah, we'll see.
You know, you start to get alittle the flesh starts to come
out.
Like, why are what are we doing?
(26:14):
Like this.
Maybe we miss this, maybe Godreally.
What's going on?
Yeah, so go ahead, sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (26:20):
But I I think though the way God led us to them, he
knows that we're hard-headed andstuff, so he had to use some
pretty cool miracles to for usto not doubt.
And to me, the one you continuedto trust.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
Yes, and we would have never said in the
beginning, we had and they askyou, they ask you, okay, what
are the things that you'rewilling to deal with?
So this child could be, youknow, uh uh developed.
Anything there could be allkinds of things.
Or are mentally, you know, slowor delayed or physical or
anything.
And we had a specific, okay,we'll do this, this, and this.
SPEAKER_03 (26:52):
Well, on paper, we were very open because, like I
said, I believed God really knewwho the child was, but at the
same time, I was realizingthrough this process that I had
an idea in my heart of what Iwanted.
And it has nothing to do withwhat you want.
Just like love.
It's not about you, it's justnot about you.
It isn't because it can't evencome from you if it's going to
be this agape love.
It can't come from you.
(27:12):
It has to come from God throughyou.
That's that's all.
I mean, that's definitelysomething I've learned.
I thought I had all this love togive, and really all I had was a
bunch of feelings, and it it's alot more than you need a lot
more than feelings.
Agape love has nothing to dowith feelings.
SPEAKER_00 (27:28):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (27:28):
And I we learned that very quickly.
Um, I think, yeah, so we gotalong to this point where
basically, you know, we God wasanyway, we wouldn't have said
yes.
I can tell you right now if Godpresented us with Malik.
Or no, not if God did.
If we knew it was God, we wouldhave, I'm sure.
But if if I just casually got afile like that of a little girl,
(27:50):
yeah, I wouldn't have wewouldn't have said yes because
we would have thought, oh, wecan't do that.
We're not capable of it.
Unequipped.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:55):
It's um we're getting I'm getting old.
I can't be carrying around.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Which is still the case.
SPEAKER_01 (28:00):
But there's so many younger people out there, you
know.
Let's be fair to her.
And you know, I don't want to bethe grandpa 78 in the stands and
she's playing whatever on thefield.
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
But God, I do call that the way God revealed her to
us, I call it our anchor moment.
And I do believe it's importantto listen for God's voice and
and listen and watch for hismoving because those are anchor
moments that you can go back to,not if it gets hard, when it
gets hard.
And it's usually a daily thing.
I never, ever, ever once, I wasvery sick in Thailand.
(28:32):
I got I had 104 fever.
All of a sudden, I just rememberbeing at the at the orphanage,
meeting her for the first timeand feeling like I was gonna
pass out because I felt so sick.
And then I see this little girlwalk around the corner with a
walker, and I thought, what inthe world are we doing?
Like, I can't do this.
And I but I never felt like wewere making a mistake.
SPEAKER_00 (28:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
I felt I felt fear, like I felt afraid.
And I did not, I did not butthank the Lord.
I never ever once thought we'remaking a mistake, we shouldn't
be here.
I never thought that.
But I will tell you, I probablyfelt some of the most fear I've
ever felt in an endeavor thatwe've done with the Lord.
Or in any in any yes that we'vesaid.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
And we've done some crazy stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
RB living, or talked a littlebit about that, mission trips,
but yeah, uh yeah, really comingto that moment.
So I think you talk about toojust the ups and downs, God
finally revealing, you know,just some cool confirmations in
you know, the ThailandAssociation and and some
different things.
And so, yeah, you're you'recoming to this moment.
(29:31):
Maybe you just talk a littlebit.
Yeah, you get to that moment offear, but just the confirmation
and how kind of kind of work tothis point.
SPEAKER_03 (29:40):
So we get to the, you know, I'm at this point, I'm
so excited to meet her.
You know, when it was time to goover there, we were so excited.
Her face is just it literallyradiates joy, and all of her
pictures radiated joy.
Like, and so we we gave her,before we even met her, we gave
her the name, the middle nameJoy.
We wanted to keep her name thatshe knew to be, which was Malie
in the orphanage her whole life.
(30:01):
And um, but basically, sobecause you're so excited, you
think you're gonna still, andagain, I think God allowed me to
be so sick.
So I I was at rock bottom and Ijust needed him because he knew
I was gonna need him and myfeelings weren't gonna be
enough.
So we're we're there, and I justremember right away, you know,
she I described it just theother day talking to Rob.
(30:23):
We were in the trenches and wewere so deep in the trenches
that and it was dark and it wasmessy, and and and I remember
not being able to feel thecompassion I felt for those
little kids and when we slept inthe orphanage in India because
it was all about me.
And I I could only feel howuncomfortable and afraid I I
felt.
And now looking back that we'reout of the trenches, I mean it's
(30:45):
hard, it's still hard, but ondifferent levels.
And I'm now looking back thatwe're out of it, I can look back
at the pictures and I canrethink and I can really have
compassion for her, trying tounderstand what she what in the
world she must have beenfeeling, you know, when we were
during this time.
I can't even imagine.
And uh so, but yeah, you thinkyou're gonna feel this warm and
(31:06):
fuzzy feeling that you feel whenyou go visit an orphanage or
sleep, you know, in this placewith these little precious
children.
And she was precious.
It had nothing to do with her,it just had to do with our
comfort and our, you know, likeI said, our comfort was rocked.
And um so uh when it wasn'tfeeling that way, then we start
complaining or we start feelinglike, oh, this, you know, this
(31:28):
is so hard.
And trust me, there were manytimes I I I do not like when I
I'm not offended at all, butlike at the hospital last year
when she had her her surgery, orthis year, uh, this lady was
like, You're an angel.
I was like, You have no idea.
I am not an angel, but thankyou.
Like, because I know thefeelings that I feel.
Bottom line is I just rememberone day, so really quickly, uh
(31:52):
Malie struggled the most with mewhen she came home.
I did not expect that at all.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
She by the way, she has cerebral palsy.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (32:01):
Yeah.
So yeah, we had our physicalbattles that we thought would be
the big battle.
Right.
And really it was all emotional.
And so she came home rightfullyso.
I mean, everything she knew wastaken.
Just the plane ride alone had tohave been absolutely terrifying
for her.
SPEAKER_01 (32:19):
It was a it was a she was sick, pretty bad
experience.
Yeah.
Um 30 hours of sickness.
SPEAKER_03 (32:25):
I will say this though, as awful as it was, I
had this peace.
God gave me peace the wholetime.
It was pretty terrible, but hegave me this this deep peace.
I can't really explain.
It was it was cool.
But anyway, we get home.
She hated me.
She absolutely hated me.
I mean, to where she would giveme dirty looks.
I mean, well, I won't get intoall of it, but there was no
doubt about it.
She did not like me.
(32:46):
And I just remember one day,like, and it was so much work,
all of it.
And it was so new to us, youknow, everything.
Like I said, our our whole lifewas turned upside down.
Um, but I just had the anchormoments from the Lord, but I
also had this deep peace that hegave me.
But also, I remember one daybeing in her room and she was
just so angry at me, and I wastrying to get her to calm down
(33:08):
to take a nap, and like she justwas so upset, and she kind of
like threw this book towards me.
I know she wasn't trying, but ithit my toe.
It was a big book and it hit mytoe and it hurt so bad.
And I just remember sittingthere and I just started
sobbing, crying.
And I remember I'm just sittingthere and I just wrote in my
phone on my notes, God, I hatethis.
And I I mean, I hated it.
(33:29):
And I just thought, wow, youknow, like you took us on this
journey, and this girl hates me.
I don't like this, I don't likehow I feel.
And I just I still have it in mynotes.
I hate this.
And I just was honest, and Iwill say I just didn't look at
her.
I just sat there crying and Ifinally looked up and she was
across the room just sittingthere just staring at me.
(33:49):
I think she was very like, and Ijust I told God in that moment
because on paper, how do youlove a little kid that hates
you?
That you know, you're you'vesacrificed everything to bring
her home and you've worked sohard, and you get zero, zero
pleasure out of it.
And we were getting zeropleasure out of it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:08):
Yeah, it's not it's not like you're trying to love a
brick wall, you're trying tolove someone who hates your guts
and feels somebody who'sindifferent, but literally
rebelling, yeah, pushing backagainst that love.
I've heard the stories of youknow, sometimes these kids are
doing some crazy stuff, andyou're just like, This is not
(34:29):
only hard, this is impossible.
SPEAKER_02 (34:31):
Like which reminds us of God's love.
Exactly.
I think that's the idea of thestory.
It all comes around that's howGod sees us.
Like God loved us and we werelike his enemies and wanting
nothing to do with it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
So just bringing that out of your story is like
that reminder when I was inHaiti and God said, Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
So I've done all this for you.
Yeah.
You know, you are called tolove.
Like the number one fruit of thespirit, love.
SPEAKER_03 (34:58):
Like But I will say, I got at that point, I had been
trying to do it in my strengththis whole time.
I'd been trying to love her fromthese feelings.
I kept trying to muster up thesefeelings that I had felt before
in the past, even just lookingat her pictures and the
excitement that I had, and itwasn't working, and I didn't
like it.
And I told God I didn't like it.
(35:19):
And I but then I then came themoment of surrender and I just
said, God, because of this,because of how you brought us
here, I do not doubt that we'rewhere we're supposed to be.
I don't like how I feel, I don'tlike this journey, but I want to
honor you and I know that youcall us to love, and I'm asking
you to give me a love for herand to love her through me.
(35:41):
And I'm not kidding.
It it was miraculous.
I can't explain it, but eversince that time, and it again,
it was the surrender.
I finally gave up.
I stopped trying to do it in myown strength and I stopped
trying to feel it.
And I knew, and there aremoments I don't feel, but that's
with anybody you live with.
You know, none of us areperfect, including myself.
(36:01):
And I know that, you know, I'mnot e the easiest to live with.
And and basically, I just it itwas amazing.
I can't really describe it, buton paper, it made zero sense
that I had this love for thisgirl.
I could look at her while shewas so angry at me.
And and again, I won't go intosome of the things just for her,
you know, for her sake, some ofthe things that she would do.
(36:21):
And and, you know, I I couldlook at her and have a deep love
for her.
That was God.
It wasn't not me.
That is agape love.
And I praise God for it.
And I I'm so thankful.
And again, I still step in andget in the way of the agape love
because my my pride or myselfishness.
I I told my in-laws, I was like,this whole experience has been
(36:43):
like a giant mirror to show us.
It only shows us all theugliness in us, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (36:48):
This is who you are.
SPEAKER_03 (36:49):
This is who you are.
And it's it's very humbling,very, very humbling.
But I can I can say agape loveis is only possible through the
Lord.
I know people who have said,like, how do you do it?
You know, people who understandadoption, how do you and I I
have no explanation except forGod.
If you if you don't have arelationship with Him, I don't
know how you can live.
(37:10):
No, live in the depths of, yeah,any of us can live on the
surface, but live in the depths.
And down in those depths, withthis agape love that He provides
for us and that He loves throughus, comes the joy.
And it's joy that does not makesense.
And I love God has taught me somuch.
I I don't think it's acoincidence that we thought of
the name joy for her because Hehas He has shown me where joy
(37:34):
actually comes from.
Joy is not happiness, we knowthat.
And it's it's this deep abiding,and and it can only come truly
from the Lord.
And so anyway, He it's ajourney.
I fail all the time.
I fail every day, probably, I'msure.
And um, you know, but man, sheshe is joy, she really is, and
(37:55):
she's amazing and she'shilarious, and God has uh by the
way, I just need to say, she hasfinally my heart breaks for her
now when I look back, and Ithink even in that room when I
wrote down on my phone, I hatethis.
I literally now can look backand I don't see her as the
problem or the enemy.
I my heart completely breaks forher because I'm now I can see,
(38:16):
like I said, I'm out of thetrenches of my own messy
feelings, and I'm able to see alittle bit.
I still won't fully understanduntil she's old enough to
understand herself um what shemust have been feeling.
And it gives me compassion forher.
And and uh, you know, she shehad every reason and right to
feel and act the way she wasduring that time.
And um, but man, she's God hasdone a work already and and he
(38:40):
is doing a work, and there'sjust no other way to go about it
other than literally at the feetof Jesus asking him for every
moment.
But I can tell you that if yousurrender and tell God, I want
to honor you, I'm doing aterrible job at this.
I need you to do it in me.
He he does, and it's it'samazing.
It's actually it's miraculous.
SPEAKER_02 (39:01):
Yeah, and even thinking, like you said, it's
only through Christ and howoften he had compassion for the
lost and the dying of people wholiterally hated him, yet he
said, Father, forgive them.
You know, they don't know whatthey're doing.
And so, yeah, when we face that,like you say, somebody she
doesn't know what she's doing,and and like you said, you can
even understand that more, andit helps us have that agape
(39:23):
love, which is not possiblebecause of our self-centeredness
in so many ways.
So well, Rob, anything you'dadd?
I know you guys are still on thejourney, and it's the story is
still being written, so it's Godis still working, but yeah, just
the process.
SPEAKER_01 (39:38):
I mean, yeah, we're in the we're a year and a half
into it, and she's 180 night andday.
I mean, physically, emotionallystill struggles in every way,
struggles for sure, but and evenand like Stephanie said earlier
on, we thought the cerebalsywould be the number one issue,
and it just felt right to thebottom of the not a big deal
anymore.
So we've we we work around that.
(40:00):
Um but yeah, she's grown in somany ways and I love you know
looking back at the milestones.
I'm so thankful that Stephanie'sa journaler and she wrote down
every little thing.
So when you're in the in doubt,look back and see what God has
has done.
And that just builds your faithfor the future, right?
And um and even in James umtalks about you know, consider
(40:22):
your trials joy because thatthat brings strength as we as we
work those those faith muscles,right?
That builds our faith in theLord.
But yeah, I just you know, justresponding to the love of
Christ.
Um my my favorite verse latelyhas just been Ephesians 3 18
where it says, Oh, that youwould l know brothers, that you
(40:43):
would know the love I have foryou.
So high, so deep, so wide.
And um if we truly knew the loveJesus had for us, for me, for
Rob, it wouldn't be a big dealto to do what we're trying to
do.
And we can't do it on our own onour own strength.
It's it's gotta be from the Lordor it's not gonna work.
(41:05):
Um I don't know if you've everlooked at the world and said,
Man, I don't know how they theydeal or if you've ever been to a
funeral where the the familythey don't know the Lord, but
the the the one who's deceaseddidn't know the Lord, and you
think, Man, there's no hope.
Like, I don't know how they dothat.
It's the same way.
Like, I don't know how peopleget by without the Lord because
(41:25):
man, we need them every day,every second, and it's a daily
lesson.
And um, you know, um that'sstill a work in progress for
sure.
SPEAKER_02 (41:37):
Amen to that.
And why the gospel matters somuch, and like I think, like you
said, journaling, you know, justwe can be so forgetful sometimes
and can hinder our obedience,hinder our ability to love.
It's that living the gospelevery day.
And I've been guilty of thattoo.
Like, all right, I got the Iview the gospel as like the
beginning.
Right, you know, it's like, ohokay, well, that was, you know,
(42:00):
okay, a while ago I was saved,but no, that has to be every day
what drives our love, the lovethat is inherent in the gospel,
how much God loved us even whenwe were unlovable, you know,
straight up.
You know, that's that's just thetruth.
So you guys being able to livethat out, even though, as you've
admitted, not easy.
You have to depend on the Lord.
That's not gonna come from yourown strength, but that journey,
(42:22):
I like what you said,surrendering to God's love is
what then allows us tounconditionally love.
You know, it has to be thatunconditional love that we all
want.
We want to experience that fromthe Lord, but then we don't want
to give it out a lot of timesbecause we are so selfish.
But that's that true love.
And yeah, we just as a societyare missing this in a lot of
(42:44):
ways because the love is lovemovements, all this other that's
just a self-centered love, whichis not exactly and I I think
that we're we're looking for afeeling, and it's just not a
feeling.
SPEAKER_03 (42:54):
It isn't, it's an act, it's an action from from
our hearts, you know, from theLord.
And I just think when we'relooking for a feeling, then
we're disappointed because wedon't feel it and and we're
struggling.
And also when you're looking fora feeling, you're putting
expectations on the person, thething, whatever it is that
you're hoping to feel this lovefor.
(43:14):
You're putting theseexpectations on that or them.
Um right.
SPEAKER_01 (43:18):
And yeah, agape is is no expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (43:21):
Yeah, at all.
I mean, that that'd be like, youknow, us being like, well, we it
we're going to adopt you, butyou're gonna need to get blonde
hair first or blue eyes becausethat's what we have, or you're
just whatever.
You're gonna need to do this,this, this, but but we didn't,
you know, we adopted her becausewe were called just like God,
there were no expectations on usexcept for just surrender and
(43:41):
and let him, you know, rescueus, save us.
And and yeah, I just think umthe whole expectation thing was
huge.
I didn't mention that earlier,but daily, like, and we do that,
we do it with each other, we doit, you know, with our with our
bio kids, like we we we putthese expectations because you
think, well, I want to be thisperson for you, I want to love
(44:02):
you in this way, but I'm gonnaneed you to be this way before I
can actually do it fully.
And it just doesn't work likethat.
But releasing all expectations,surrendering to the Lord's love
and allowing him to love throughyou.
And it's it's like it works, butit takes us a while to get
there.
Even after, like you said, weforget, even after he's we've
seen it, we've experienced it.
(44:23):
I still wake up and uh I haveall of a sudden I start with
these expectations, these thingsthat you know, because we look
for feelings.
We're all about feelings.
SPEAKER_02 (44:31):
So it's just feelings, expectations, Robbie,
you mentioned earlier our plans,you know, that we have that we
think you know, our code.
SPEAKER_01 (44:39):
It all comes down to I am selfish.
Yeah, we are right.
SPEAKER_02 (44:45):
It's the whole gospel of to get turned inside
out because we're so focused onourselves, either think we could
do it ourselves, or we're so badGod couldn't save us, it's still
a focus on ourselves.
It has to get us outward andfocused on the Lord.
So well, I know we could go onfor stories so much depth and so
many ways, man.
I'd love to spend a long time,but I would encourage our
(45:05):
listeners.
You know, we have such amazingstories, and just hopefully
getting the idea of what truelove, agape love, biblical,
Christ-like love looks likethrough adoption.
And admittedly, like we'vetalked about here, that's not
something we do in our own poweror do perfectly.
It truly should bring us closerto the Lord.
So really appreciate you guyssharing.
I know it's a lot of toughmoments and you know, shedding
(45:28):
some tears, and again, it'sstill being written, but uh
hopefully our listeners areencouraged.
Uh Rob and Steph are faithful.
Obviously, Rob's a worshippastor.
Steph does a lot of ourcommunications.
I know they'd uh if you'refeeling that call or or need
some encouragement, I'm surethey'd both uh love to talk to
you and uh we'd be willing toshare more of their story.
And you can even go back toRob's testimonies in our
(45:48):
archives, also the Cantalongosis a couple years ago, similar
to stories, yeah.
Yeah, so encourage anybody youknow listening, check out that
episode.
It was a couple years ago.
Um, it's just been a blessing,God working in his church here
that a lot of people have uhwalked that road.
So we encourage one another inthat.
So well, thank you guys forsharing.
SPEAKER_01 (46:09):
Yeah, thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_02 (46:11):
Life Talk Family, thanks for joining us.
Uh, continue with us inDecember.
We'll have more stories of whatlove looks like in marriage and
family and uh what thatsacrificial love really looks
like.
So thanks for joining us andwe'll see everybody next time.
Thanks for tuning in to the LifeTalk Podcast.
If this episode encouraged you,please be sure to like, comment,
(46:33):
subscribe, and leave a review soothers can find this content as
well.
And we'll look forward to seeingyou next Monday for another
great episode.
Well, what's up, Life Talk family?
Welcome back to the Life TalkPodcast.
Always great to be coming to youtoday.
This is Nate, and we are inDecember.
For those who were with us lastweek, Pastor Mark started the
month off of We Love.
And so I would encourageeverybody, if you haven't
listened to that episode, gocheck it out.
(00:37):
But what we want to do thismonth, bring some great
testimonies of what Christianlove really looks like.
And so today I am super excitedto be joined by Rob and
Stephanie Light.
How are you guys doing today?
Doing well.
SPEAKER_03 (00:51):
Yeah, we're doing good.
SPEAKER_02 (00:52):
Man, you guys, I love getting couples on.
It's pretty cool.
Although we just never knowwhat's going to happen when we
get, and especially Rob.
This will be an adventure foreverybody.
But uh, I think everybody mayknow uh the Life Life House
family knows Rob.
He is our uh worship pastor andhis testimony man way back in
the archives.
When was that, Rob?
Like 20, who knows?
(01:14):
It's been a while, right?
We may have to update it, dolike a part two.
Yeah, it was probably one of ourfirst ones.
I think it was.
SPEAKER_01 (01:20):
So that was the most important.
No, I'm just he was Rob Rob hasa the barrel is empty, so
they're like, hey Rob, can youshare get on here?
SPEAKER_02 (01:29):
So I definitely encourage those who haven't
heard Rob's testimony.
Uh you can go back and checkthat out.
But Steph, first time rookie onon the Life Talk podcast.
So just tell us a little bitabout Steph so our listeners can
get to know you a little bit andhow you got tied in with this
guy.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Yeah.
Or maybe he got tied in with me.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (01:47):
Amen.
SPEAKER_03 (01:48):
Okay.
So I um, well, first of all, Iwas born and raised in Delaware
and blessed.
Native Delaware.
Yes, yes.
And I love it and I'm proud ofit.
And um I was blessed to be in aChristian home.
My grandfather was the pastor ofour church, went to a Christian
school, and I loved it.
Um, went to Liberty Universityfor college, and I was only
(02:08):
there for two years, but I metRob there, and um we ended up
singing on a team together.
We traveled together, and youknow, the rest is history.
We ended up getting married, andbut after that, we traveled for
years with a missionsorganization.
And um, but back up, I was I wassaved when I was 13.
So I grew up, I grew up uh inthe church and everything, and
(02:31):
for the longest time, I justknew that my Bible said I asked
Jesus in my heart when I wasfive years old.
So I went with that.
But and I knew all the things,you know.
And then finally at 13, Irealized, wait, this this is
supposed to be for me.
Like this is a personaldecision.
And um, so I actually was savedat 13.
And then obviously, you know, Iwas still so young, so God just,
(02:52):
you know, was teaching me somuch.
And then really when I went awayto college, um, is when I I
really started experiencing theLord.
And it wasn't just my family'sfaith, but it was my personal
faith.
And I so many cool stories ofthe way God worked in my life
and and led me and directed meand guided me, and um just
seeing his hand tangibly in mylife.
(03:13):
It was it was amazing.
And then then we met and uh gotmarried in '99.
And uh and then traveled andworked with a missions
organization out of Virginia.
Um really great years.
And um, and actually that's alsowhere Calling Levi was born out
of.
Um, we got to travel with Markand Tammy, and but then at the
(03:33):
end of that, we traveled for ayear with an orphan choir,
actually, um 23 differentchildren from all over the
world.
And they were uh uh thisorganization we worked for
provided for them and likesupported them, supported their
orphanages.
And they came over to the statesto kind of raise money.
We would travel around.
We lived in an RV.
We did not have kids yet.
(03:53):
And um, we traveled in an RV,went from church to church every
weekend, stayed in hotels.
And that um, I think I knowwe're gonna talk about adoption.
That that for me and all themission trips that we did, um,
India, Philippines, China, HongKong, you know, a lot of
different places, uh, seeing theorphans and and working with
them is what really I thinkplanted the seed in my heart for
(04:14):
adoption.
SPEAKER_02 (04:14):
So we're kind of seeing that early on, being
exposed to the need, seeing theorphan.
We know the Bible tells us theorphan and the widow, especially
the most vulnerable.
And certainly in our month of welove, you know, if you're going
to love, you know, love requiressacrifice.
We'll talk about that.
I know that'll be part of yourstory, but especially to care
(04:35):
for you know, people in thosesituations, like it's not gonna
be easy, like it's going to be abig need.
And so I think, yeah, seeingthat.
So maybe talk a little bit moreabout like what did you see in
kind of those orphans or youknow, just kind of how God was
starting to plant those seeds inyour heart.
SPEAKER_03 (04:50):
Well, for me, I love kids.
They they crack me up.
I think they're so funny.
And I just I loved being aroundthe kids.
And um, so when we would gooverseas or we would go, I I
know actually we Kirby andLetitia went on, Letitia's our
children's uh director here, andthey went on one of the trips
with us and with Mark and Tammy.
And I know that um we actuallyspent the night in an orphanage,
(05:14):
all of us, Mark and Tammy too, Ibelieve, and Rob, the guy slept
over in the the kid, the boys'hostel, and we were in the
girls, and I think for me, likeit just hit me one night, and I
didn't even have kids yet.
I can't even imagine how I wouldhave reacted after I had my own
kids.
SPEAKER_00 (05:28):
No way.
SPEAKER_03 (05:29):
But I just remember, I mean, we were young and uh I
don't even know if we weremarried.
I don't think we were marriedyet, but um, I just remember
sleeping in this literally inthis orphanage with these kids,
and they each had like onelittle mat, one little blanket,
everything they owned, which wasnot very much at all, just was
underneath their mat.
But when we got into the room,Letitia and I shared a room.
(05:50):
And when we got in there, theyall, all the girls basically
gave us all their blankets andpiled up some of their mats on
our beds.
We slept on these wooden bunkbeds.
Um, it was an experience.
I actually, I actually got lacedfrom that experience.
But I did not sleep good.
I got I got very sick.
And anyway, but I just rememberlaying there in the middle of
(06:12):
the night.
I could not sleep.
And I mean, all these girlslaying on the floor, and these
were little kids, like down tolike three years old, up to
teenagers.
And um, I just remember lying inthe bed and looking down and
being like, uh, there's this isthey're not on a trip.
We're on a trip.
I'm uncomfortable for one night.
This is their life.
Like, and I just remember myheart.
(06:34):
I mean, I'm probably gonna cry alot tonight.
I just remember my heart beinglike, Well, who tucks them in?
Like, who who cares for them?
And they did have caretakers,but there's so many of them.
And for me, that night was like,oh my gosh, I'm gonna adopt
someday.
And I wasn't, we weren'tmarried.
I didn't talk to him about it,but I just knew.
I mean, that was so long ago,and it took us a while to
(06:56):
finally get here.
But um, that to me was a verybig seed that was planted in my
heart that night.
SPEAKER_02 (07:02):
Yeah, no, and so yeah, for our listeners, Steph
Telegraphing, today we will be,you know, especially talking
about adoption.
And I think like you hit, youknow, the need for a parent, you
know, and of course, just in ourfaith, like we know that we are
adopted into the family of Godand how then we live out that
love.
I think adoption is theology inthe sense of, yeah, God had to
(07:23):
adopt us, he had to save us, hehad to bring us into his family.
And so I think how you were kindof seeing that tie in and seeing
those planted.
And so toss it over to Rob.
You know, maybe uh, you know,and my wife and I are on an
adoption journey, uh, they saylike there's a dragger and a
drag e.
How did uh Rob, were you thedragie in this, or how did God
(07:44):
kind of work in your heart earlyon towards towards adoption?
SPEAKER_01 (07:48):
I think um, you know, not to uh put all the guys
in one in in one corner, but umlike every guy I've ever met
that is an adopted, that hasadopted it's the wife first,
right?
Because we've got the plan.
It seems like it's you know, Idon't know, you know, you got
the plan in in mind, you've got,you know, and I've learned early
(08:10):
on not to have a three-year,five-year, ten-year plan because
God always changes it.
It's kind of funny how we thinkwe're the boss of our own lives.
I like to think that.
Yeah.
So um not so much that part, butyou know, we're we're good.
We're uh we have we have threekids, you know, everybody's
healthy, everyone's, you know,you know, kids are doing well,
(08:31):
um stability, you know, comfort.
It's it's starting to settledown.
And um yeah, I was drug into it.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
So Steph first coming to you.
I know.
Yeah, I remember her hearing wasvery early, but I remember early
on in our marriage, she wouldsay something.
SPEAKER_01 (08:49):
I would love to adopt a little Indian kid.
Because we we've been therethree times, and they're they're
you know, like she said, youheard the story, so we just
bonded.
It's funny, you'll see a littleuh still even to this day, I'll
see a little Indian kid, and Iwant to uh it turn into a little
creeper because I'm like, heylittle guy, what's your name?
But um, but yeah, we that's whenGod's gonna be a little bit more
(09:09):
than get in the white van, kids.
So yeah, so um, no, I'm sorry.
But um, yeah, it's just uh shebrought it in early, and I was
thinking, I don't think I evertold her no initially, but I was
thinking, you know, I'm I'm I'myoung, I'm inexperienced, even a
young growing Christian.
(09:30):
So like my thought is why wouldyou adopt when you you can have
kids?
You know, I understand if youcan't have if you can't have a
child, maybe something is goingon um between you and your
spouse and and uh you knowmedically that's it's not gonna
happen.
Yeah, that's a good opportunityto do it.
So I really didn't think aboutit any other why would you adopt
um when you can have your ownkids.
(09:51):
So so it really didn't um hit meum I mean my first missions trip
I was in high school and sodefinitely my eyes were open to
what the other worldexperiences.
Um and then blessed, you know,went on um a couple other trips,
and then when Steph came toLiberty, we went on a couple
(10:11):
trips, and then with ourmissions organization we went
every year.
Went to Nepal uh one time, Indiathree times, China, Philippines,
Hong Kong, Brazil, it's justcrazy good st good trips, and
every trip God would show mesomething a little bit more.
And I think maybe in the verybeginning he was I know I know
(10:34):
he was talking to me, but umnow, but at the time I just
didn't listen to it.
So so so things are going good,and then all of a sudden out of
nowhere she starts laying it onpretty thick.
SPEAKER_03 (10:47):
And um Because God was laying it on thick.
SPEAKER_02 (10:50):
This was about 2016, was that what you said?
SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Uh this was actually uh 2018 heading into 19.
SPEAKER_01 (10:59):
He was he was getting and we we've we've got
uh at the time we have um Judewas you know six-ish, yeah,
five.
And I'm thinking there was a biggap there because we were on the
road and we just decided, hey,let's hold off.
The bus isn't gonna fit any morekids.
Um and in my mind, I'm thinking,okay, the the kids are starting
(11:19):
to get in the high school.
You try you s start to see thethe end of the road as far as
life with kids, and then we'retalking about starting all over,
you know.
So almost like guys, if you'relistening when she says, Let's
have another baby, and you'relike, Well, wait a minute.
Same feeling, because you haveeverything, you have everything
set and in order, and that'sgonna mess up my selfish plan.
SPEAKER_02 (11:44):
So yeah, very good.
So well, Steph, maybe what kindof moved it to the forefront?
How are you really feeling?
SPEAKER_03 (11:50):
I just felt God, I I I can't really explain it other
than it's all I could thinkabout, and it was very heavy on
my heart.
But I also tend to, when I getan idea in my head, I think
about it a lot and start likereally like focusing on it.
So I I would really pray, like,God, is this you or is this just
me, you know, I'm getting sadbecause Jude's getting older
now.
But I knew really deep down ithad been in my on my heart since
(12:12):
before we ever even got married.
So I I I would bring it up tohim a lot.
And so he was very briefly, I'lltell this, he was leaving to
take Grace on her first missiontrip with Lifehouse.
They were going to Haiti.
And um, she was actually 16, Iremember, and um, or maybe 15.
Anyway, um, they were gettingready to leave.
And I don't know why I thought Ishould bring up, hey, we should
(12:33):
really adopt.
I feel very strongly about this,like when they're leaving that
night after midnight for thistrip.
SPEAKER_01 (12:38):
It's very stressful.
You're packing.
SPEAKER_03 (12:40):
We got in a we got in pretty good arguments.
Let's adopt right now, today.
It was one of our probably ourtop arguments of our marriage.
And I just remember being soupset and upset with myself too,
just because you know, this wasa big deal.
Grace was going on her firstmission trip, which completely
like led her down a path with aheart for missions.
And and I just remember afterthey left, I just remember
(13:01):
crying and I just told God I waslike, okay, I'm done.
I'm not bringing this up everagain to Rob.
So if this really is you, I needyou to tell him.
And if it's not, please take itoff my heart because it's
driving me crazy.
It's all I can think about.
And so I basically decided tofast and pray while he was away
on this trip.
And I did not bring it up tohim.
I didn't tell him I was doingit.
I didn't tell anyone.
(13:22):
And um, the it was gettingstronger.
And I was like, God, please, areyou giving it to me more or
what's happening?
So, and literally, probably thefirst thing out of his mouth.
They got in in the middle of thenight and it was the next
morning, and we were talking,and one of the first things out
of his mouth was, Well, God toldme we're supposed to adopt.
SPEAKER_01 (13:41):
And I mean, he That's when I got back, or yeah,
when you got back.
Okay, I thought it was when IFaceTimed you from No, no, no.
SPEAKER_03 (13:48):
You told me.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
I kept it inside.
SPEAKER_03 (13:50):
No, he was FaceTiming me with this adorable
little boy that he kind of fellin love with over there, and and
and Grace was with him, and theywould just, you know, FaceTime
and send pictures anyway.
Basically that that day.
And so that's when you know, wejust hit the ground running and
praying and seeking God.
And and there is a whole longstory with miracle after
miracle, yeah.
Um, I mean, insane miracles thatGod did.
(14:13):
And I wrote it all down in myjournal.
And I mean, I would love toshare it.
If anybody is ever interested inhearing it, I would love to
share it, but it's too long toshare it today.
But but overall in that journey,and and then I can skip ahead to
when we got to Malie, butoverall in that journey, you
know, uh, God was tearing downpieces of wall in my heart.
(14:34):
Like, and it took a while.
And and you know, here I thoughtyou were talking about love, and
like it's really easy to see anadorable little child in need
and feel love in your heart andcompassion.
And that's and we did.
And so you think that's how it'sgonna feel when you first adopt
and when you bring this childhome, and it's not the same
because it's that's now this isyour child, this is your
(14:55):
responsibility, and your comfortis rocked.
And and it really um, I wasn'tprepared for that.
SPEAKER_02 (15:02):
But I think too, so awesome that God brought you
along, right?
Sure.
Anything you would share fromthat trip or kind of really how
God spoke.
SPEAKER_01 (15:11):
So I I think this trip was like my 14th missions
trip and amazing.
Like I said, every trip Ilearned something new.
And um, you go on these missionstrips.
I know this isn't a missionsplug, but if you ever have the
opportunity, please do it.
I know it's big, I know yougotta take vacation time, I
know, and I know, I know, Iknow, but it's worth it.
And you think you girt you'regoing over there to do something
(15:33):
good, to put rice in a littlekid's belly, or to to build a
house for a family, or put aroof on for a church, and you're
gonna do this and this and thisevery time.
At least for me, when I've comeback, I'm like, man, Rob, this
this was this was good.
Not for them, it was good forme.
Because I get to, you know, see,I get to be reminded, I get to
see what the ends of the earthlook like and what we should be
(15:55):
focused on.
So anyway, we're over there andum we are it's pretty fresh,
fresh off the plane.
We you know, we get there andwe're walking to our first
event, and it's like a acommunity, church wide event.
They're bringing all thecommunity, and when anybody
visits, the whole communitycomes out because it's something
new, something different.
(16:15):
They don't have the luxuriesthat we have.
So anything that is out of theordinary, they're interested,
let's go.
So we are walking to thischurch, dirt roads, and all of a
sudden this this little handgrabs my hand and I look down
(16:36):
and I'm like, hey, hey there.
And um, yeah, I was just like itit that was easy for me.
It's always been easy to love.
Um, like Stephanie said, whodoesn't love little kids?
You know, um true love is lovingthem unconditionally.
(16:59):
And it's easy to it's easy tolove someone when they love you
back.
SPEAKER_03 (17:03):
Or without responsibility.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (17:05):
Um, but man, um That's why grandparenting is
great, right?
Yeah, I'm so like.
SPEAKER_00 (17:10):
Yeah, that's a good point.
SPEAKER_01 (17:12):
So yeah, so I'm holding this hand, I'm like,
okay, this is cool.
And um not you know, we're we'rejust walking and um um God just
speaks to my heart.
So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,just a minute.
Exactly.
He he even talked my casualspeaking voice.
He goes, wait, wait, wait.
(17:32):
So okay, so it's okay that Iadopted you, my family, but it's
not okay for you to adopt.
SPEAKER_02 (17:42):
I was like, wow, some truth right there.
Holy Spirit speaking to yourheart.
SPEAKER_01 (17:49):
And he came hard and and um I mean immediately uh the
the white flag went up.
I was like, you got you got me.
You know, if if if I am afollower of Christ, um yeah,
(18:09):
show me big boy.
You know, so so that's when Igave up.
And I was just like, yeah, it'snot, man.
I'm I'm such a jerk, I'm soselfish.
And so um, so yeah, that's whenit started, and then that whole
trip was just solidifying it inmy mind.
And um, yeah, like I said, Ican't remember when I told her,
but I thought it was on thephone, but yeah, I probably just
kept it inside because that's abig deal.
(18:31):
So um, so yeah, made thedecision, and then we started,
you know.
SPEAKER_03 (18:36):
The process.
Yeah, oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02 (18:40):
But I don't want to leave.
I mean, that's awesome, the HolySpirit, and I would even just
something you said aboutmissions trips too, like in
terms of love.
Like you say, when you make thatsacrifice, like a lot of people
like, I don't want to do this,and I know we'll play adoption's
bigger, but even just themission trip of a few weeks,
like it's you're sacrificing.
But when you do, like you said,that's when it comes back.
A lot of people are like when itworks, I'll wait till I like
(19:02):
really feel like it.
And if you hadn't gone on thattrip and seen all of those
things along, then you know,where would God be in that?
So it's a great story, but Ialso want to just taking mission
trips is making a sacrifice, butit comes back to you in terms of
what you get from it too.
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
So I I I believe he works when we surrender.
Amen.
That's so it's just bottom line.
SPEAKER_03 (19:24):
And even that surrender to me is the it's
literally like the the littlegolden key to everything in your
walk with Christ because it's ityou can't love without
surrender.
You can't you you can't do it,you can, but it's not gonna go
very far.
You know, the true love thatwe're talking about, the agape
love, it it can only come withsurrender.
(19:46):
And yeah, I'm that's huge.
SPEAKER_02 (19:49):
We have to experience God's love and give
in to that and then allow that.
Yeah, amazing.
So so that's awesome.
Yeah, I appreciate you guysbeing open and I know it's
emotional, and yeah, but all ina good Way God working it alive.
So that was, you know, like yousaid, 2019.
So I know we probably can't dothe whole, you know, it's been
several years.
I think the important part, likewe feel called, and I mean, I
(20:11):
know I can share my testimony inthe sense of won't go into it,
but like, all right, let's go,God, let's do this tomorrow,
right?
You know, but that's not alwayshow God works.
So maybe just I know it wasseveral years, there were some
ups and downs, anything, andkind of that waiting and how
love is patient.
You know, we know God's love ispatient, but you guys had to be
patient in a lot of ways.
SPEAKER_03 (20:30):
We did, we were forced to be.
SPEAKER_02 (20:31):
Talking a little bit about the journey, you know, a
little bit overall, maybe.
SPEAKER_03 (20:35):
Well, we definitely were very um, very excited.
And even for him to be excited,it was just like, I don't know.
I saw we just started moving.
And I was like, I was like,okay, let's see, which well, uh
first of all, we didn't know ifwe were gonna adopt from
overseas or here, and we werefine with whatever.
I fully believed that God knewwho our child was going to be or
(20:55):
who it was, and it was just ourjob to listen and to follow.
And so we were we startedimmediately praying, God, is it
local?
Are we are are we doinginternational, domestic?
You know, what is it?
Please show us.
And and I wasn't really gettinga lot of answers.
And anyway, I won't go into thestory because there were two
different boys that we reallythought we were adopting, but
God 100% led us to these boys.
(21:18):
And now coming back around, Hewas using them in our hearts and
in our lives to uh to break downwalls, like I said, to take
bricks out of this giant wallthat and we didn't think we had
it up.
We were, we were like, Yeah,let's go, let's do this.
And we did not realize the prideand the selfishness and the
things that were in our heartthat that he needed to get rid
(21:38):
of first before we could evenstep into this, because then
there was going to be even evendeeper work that he had to do.
So basically, you know, wethought we were good to go.
And hey, we're ready, let's dothis, we're gonna love this
child and you know, all thisstuff.
And and looking back now, I justknow that he had to do this deep
work within us over this time ofwaiting.
(21:59):
And and I mean, at one point, myfaith was really rocked and to
where I was face down on thefloor one day and did not know
what to think anymore.
I I just I it was bad, it wasdark, and but I needed to get
there and I needed God to takeme there and pull me back out
just to show me that he was inthis and and that he was gonna
do this.
We weren't gonna do this, he wasgonna do it in us and through
(22:20):
us.
And um, so it was a longjourney, 2019.
We said this, yes, we were soexcited, and and like I said,
miracle after miracle, it'sactually crazy the way he led us
to these two different boys,which I also believe um not just
for our sake, but for theirsake.
Uh Asa was the second boy thatwe thought we were adopting and
we shared a lot about him.
And here he's, you know, he wasin this orphanage that, you
(22:44):
know, nobody probably knew him.
Obviously, nobody really fromhere probably knew him.
And, you know, hundreds ofpeople that we know because of
social media and stuff arepraying for him, and we're
praying for him, and we're stillpraying for him.
So now he has this, you know,Christian family that is praying
over him and praying for him.
And to me, that was really coolthat God used that um in that
way.
But anyway, he finally um led usto Malie in another miraculous
(23:07):
way, took us till 2023.
We finally found her.
Um, crazy, amazing story.
And I won't go into it exceptfor the fact that Grace was um
just left for six months to goto Thailand on a mission trip.
And she was there.
And 11 days after she getsthere, I get an email from our
agency here in Delaware sayinghello from Thailand.
(23:30):
And they send me this file.
First time in five years thatthey send me a file of a child,
because we were still waiting.
China shut down, just to make itclear, because of COVID, China
shut down, which they're stillshut down, unfortunately.
Um, but we've decided to waitbecause of the way God brought
us to that place.
We knew it was him, and so wewere just gonna wait.
I didn't understand, you know,but and they're still shut down,
(23:51):
by the way.
SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (23:52):
And so uh 11 days after Grace gets there, I get
this email from our agency fromWilmington, Delaware saying, you
know, hello from Thailand.
I'm like, what's going on?
They send me this file.
Grace called, I'm looking atthis adorable little girl.
Grace calls me 10 minutes later.
Grace FaceTimes me because it'snighttime there.
And I'm like, that's so crazy.
You're calling the my agencyliterally just sent me a file of
a little girl from Thailand,which Bangkok alone has 10
(24:15):
million people in it.
So it's massive.
And with New York City.
Yeah, they email me back and Iemail them and said, Oh my
goodness, my daughter is inThailand for six months.
And and I said, She's inBangkok.
Where are you guys?
And they email back while I'm onthe phone with Grace.
Oh, that's crazy.
That's where this little girlis.
And they say the name of theorphanage she's at.
While we're on FaceTime, Gracelooks it up and it's a mile and
(24:35):
a half away from her apartment.
So at this point, I'm like, atthis point, I'm like, okay, we
didn't even, we didn't even needto pray about it.
By that night, we emailed themback, said yes, find out it's
her seventh birthday that wesaid, because it was the next
day at this point for them, andum said yes to her on her
seventh birthday.
It also was Life House'sanniversary.
(24:56):
It was just a lot of really coolthings, and God was very clear,
and and we started that process.
And um, that was 20 February of23 and March of 24.
We went over to get her.
We were there for two and a halfweeks.
Um, a very difficult, verydifficult trip.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
So, so yeah, let me just give you some more context.
Um, I know we're running outhere, but um so with that with
that adoption journey, there wasall these ups and downs and
brick walls, like with thesechildren, right?
These children that we felt Godwas leading us to.
Um you know, chu-shu was nolonger available, right?
(25:33):
Yeah, some other family came inand you kind of sit in a queue.
Once you've been a cu uhapproved, you sit in a queue,
you know.
And then they just start goingthrough the families, and it's
you just you just pray that'syou.
And um, so that was a dead end.
And then um with those boys, um,same thing.
We were we were too far back inthe queue.
(25:53):
And so so there it's all thishope, hope, hope, happy, happy,
boom, rock bottom, hope, hope,hope, happy, happy, boom,
bottom.
So this is now the fourth timewe've gone through this, and so
just to be honest, I'm justlike, yeah, right, whatever.
Yeah, we'll see.
You know, you start to get alittle the flesh starts to come
out.
Like, why are what are we doing?
(26:14):
Like this.
Maybe we miss this, maybe Godreally.
What's going on?
Yeah, so go ahead, sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (26:20):
But I I think though the way God led us to them, he
knows that we're hard-headed andstuff, so he had to use some
pretty cool miracles to for usto not doubt.
And to me, the one you continuedto trust.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
Yes, and we would have never said in the
beginning, we had and they askyou, they ask you, okay, what
are the things that you'rewilling to deal with?
So this child could be, youknow, uh uh developed.
Anything there could be allkinds of things.
Or are mentally, you know, slowor delayed or physical or
anything.
And we had a specific, okay,we'll do this, this, and this.
SPEAKER_03 (26:52):
Well, on paper, we were very open because, like I
said, I believed God really knewwho the child was, but at the
same time, I was realizingthrough this process that I had
an idea in my heart of what Iwanted.
And it has nothing to do withwhat you want.
Just like love.
It's not about you, it's justnot about you.
It isn't because it can't evencome from you if it's going to
be this agape love.
It can't come from you.
(27:12):
It has to come from God throughyou.
That's that's all.
I mean, that's definitelysomething I've learned.
I thought I had all this love togive, and really all I had was a
bunch of feelings, and it it's alot more than you need a lot
more than feelings.
Agape love has nothing to dowith feelings.
SPEAKER_00 (27:28):
That's right.
SPEAKER_03 (27:28):
And I we learned that very quickly.
Um, I think, yeah, so we gotalong to this point where
basically, you know, we God wasanyway, we wouldn't have said
yes.
I can tell you right now if Godpresented us with Malik.
Or no, not if God did.
If we knew it was God, we wouldhave, I'm sure.
But if if I just casually got afile like that of a little girl,
(27:50):
yeah, I wouldn't have wewouldn't have said yes because
we would have thought, oh, wecan't do that.
We're not capable of it.
Unequipped.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:55):
It's um we're getting I'm getting old.
I can't be carrying around.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Which is still the case.
SPEAKER_01 (28:00):
But there's so many younger people out there, you
know.
Let's be fair to her.
And you know, I don't want to bethe grandpa 78 in the stands and
she's playing whatever on thefield.
SPEAKER_03 (28:11):
But God, I do call that the way God revealed her to
us, I call it our anchor moment.
And I do believe it's importantto listen for God's voice and
and listen and watch for hismoving because those are anchor
moments that you can go back to,not if it gets hard, when it
gets hard.
And it's usually a daily thing.
I never, ever, ever once, I wasvery sick in Thailand.
(28:32):
I got I had 104 fever.
All of a sudden, I just rememberbeing at the at the orphanage,
meeting her for the first timeand feeling like I was gonna
pass out because I felt so sick.
And then I see this little girlwalk around the corner with a
walker, and I thought, what inthe world are we doing?
Like, I can't do this.
And I but I never felt like wewere making a mistake.
SPEAKER_00 (28:51):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (28:51):
I felt I felt fear, like I felt afraid.
And I did not, I did not butthank the Lord.
I never ever once thought we'remaking a mistake, we shouldn't
be here.
I never thought that.
But I will tell you, I probablyfelt some of the most fear I've
ever felt in an endeavor thatwe've done with the Lord.
Or in any in any yes that we'vesaid.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
And we've done some crazy stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
RB living, or talked a littlebit about that, mission trips,
but yeah, uh yeah, really comingto that moment.
So I think you talk about toojust the ups and downs, God
finally revealing, you know,just some cool confirmations in
you know, the ThailandAssociation and and some
different things.
And so, yeah, you're you'recoming to this moment.
(29:31):
Maybe you just talk a littlebit.
Yeah, you get to that moment offear, but just the confirmation
and how kind of kind of work tothis point.
SPEAKER_03 (29:40):
So we get to the, you know, I'm at this point, I'm
so excited to meet her.
You know, when it was time to goover there, we were so excited.
Her face is just it literallyradiates joy, and all of her
pictures radiated joy.
Like, and so we we gave her,before we even met her, we gave
her the name, the middle nameJoy.
We wanted to keep her name thatshe knew to be, which was Malie
in the orphanage her whole life.
(30:01):
And um, but basically, sobecause you're so excited, you
think you're gonna still, andagain, I think God allowed me to
be so sick.
So I I was at rock bottom and Ijust needed him because he knew
I was gonna need him and myfeelings weren't gonna be
enough.
So we're we're there, and I justremember right away, you know,
she I described it just theother day talking to Rob.
(30:23):
We were in the trenches and wewere so deep in the trenches
that and it was dark and it wasmessy, and and and I remember
not being able to feel thecompassion I felt for those
little kids and when we slept inthe orphanage in India because
it was all about me.
And I I could only feel howuncomfortable and afraid I I
felt.
And now looking back that we'reout of the trenches, I mean it's
(30:45):
hard, it's still hard, but ondifferent levels.
And I'm now looking back thatwe're out of it, I can look back
at the pictures and I canrethink and I can really have
compassion for her, trying tounderstand what she what in the
world she must have beenfeeling, you know, when we were
during this time.
I can't even imagine.
And uh so, but yeah, you thinkyou're gonna feel this warm and
(31:06):
fuzzy feeling that you feel whenyou go visit an orphanage or
sleep, you know, in this placewith these little precious
children.
And she was precious.
It had nothing to do with her,it just had to do with our
comfort and our, you know, likeI said, our comfort was rocked.
And um so uh when it wasn'tfeeling that way, then we start
complaining or we start feelinglike, oh, this, you know, this
(31:28):
is so hard.
And trust me, there were manytimes I I I do not like when I
I'm not offended at all, butlike at the hospital last year
when she had her her surgery, orthis year, uh, this lady was
like, You're an angel.
I was like, You have no idea.
I am not an angel, but thankyou.
Like, because I know thefeelings that I feel.
Bottom line is I just rememberone day, so really quickly, uh
(31:52):
Malie struggled the most with mewhen she came home.
I did not expect that at all.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
She by the way, she has cerebral palsy.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (32:01):
Yeah.
So yeah, we had our physicalbattles that we thought would be
the big battle.
Right.
And really it was all emotional.
And so she came home rightfullyso.
I mean, everything she knew wastaken.
Just the plane ride alone had tohave been absolutely terrifying
for her.
SPEAKER_01 (32:19):
It was a it was a she was sick, pretty bad
experience.
Yeah.
Um 30 hours of sickness.
SPEAKER_03 (32:25):
I will say this though, as awful as it was, I
had this peace.
God gave me peace the wholetime.
It was pretty terrible, but hegave me this this deep peace.
I can't really explain.
It was it was cool.
But anyway, we get home.
She hated me.
She absolutely hated me.
I mean, to where she would giveme dirty looks.
I mean, well, I won't get intoall of it, but there was no
doubt about it.
She did not like me.
(32:46):
And I just remember one day,like, and it was so much work,
all of it.
And it was so new to us, youknow, everything.
Like I said, our our whole lifewas turned upside down.
Um, but I just had the anchormoments from the Lord, but I
also had this deep peace that hegave me.
But also, I remember one daybeing in her room and she was
just so angry at me, and I wastrying to get her to calm down
(33:08):
to take a nap, and like she justwas so upset, and she kind of
like threw this book towards me.
I know she wasn't trying, but ithit my toe.
It was a big book and it hit mytoe and it hurt so bad.
And I just remember sittingthere and I just started
sobbing, crying.
And I remember I'm just sittingthere and I just wrote in my
phone on my notes, God, I hatethis.
And I I mean, I hated it.
(33:29):
And I just thought, wow, youknow, like you took us on this
journey, and this girl hates me.
I don't like this, I don't likehow I feel.
And I just I still have it in mynotes.
I hate this.
And I just was honest, and Iwill say I just didn't look at
her.
I just sat there crying and Ifinally looked up and she was
across the room just sittingthere just staring at me.
(33:49):
I think she was very like, and Ijust I told God in that moment
because on paper, how do youlove a little kid that hates
you?
That you know, you're you'vesacrificed everything to bring
her home and you've worked sohard, and you get zero, zero
pleasure out of it.
And we were getting zeropleasure out of it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:08):
Yeah, it's not it's not like you're trying to love a
brick wall, you're trying tolove someone who hates your guts
and feels somebody who'sindifferent, but literally
rebelling, yeah, pushing backagainst that love.
I've heard the stories of youknow, sometimes these kids are
doing some crazy stuff, andyou're just like, This is not
(34:29):
only hard, this is impossible.
SPEAKER_02 (34:31):
Like which reminds us of God's love.
Exactly.
I think that's the idea of thestory.
It all comes around that's howGod sees us.
Like God loved us and we werelike his enemies and wanting
nothing to do with it.
SPEAKER_01 (34:43):
So just bringing that out of your story is like
that reminder when I was inHaiti and God said, Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
So I've done all this for you.
Yeah.
You know, you are called tolove.
Like the number one fruit of thespirit, love.
SPEAKER_03 (34:58):
Like But I will say, I got at that point, I had been
trying to do it in my strengththis whole time.
I'd been trying to love her fromthese feelings.
I kept trying to muster up thesefeelings that I had felt before
in the past, even just lookingat her pictures and the
excitement that I had, and itwasn't working, and I didn't
like it.
And I told God I didn't like it.
(35:19):
And I but then I then came themoment of surrender and I just
said, God, because of this,because of how you brought us
here, I do not doubt that we'rewhere we're supposed to be.
I don't like how I feel, I don'tlike this journey, but I want to
honor you and I know that youcall us to love, and I'm asking
you to give me a love for herand to love her through me.
(35:41):
And I'm not kidding.
It it was miraculous.
I can't explain it, but eversince that time, and it again,
it was the surrender.
I finally gave up.
I stopped trying to do it in myown strength and I stopped
trying to feel it.
And I knew, and there aremoments I don't feel, but that's
with anybody you live with.
You know, none of us areperfect, including myself.
(36:01):
And I know that, you know, I'mnot e the easiest to live with.
And and basically, I just it itwas amazing.
I can't really describe it, buton paper, it made zero sense
that I had this love for thisgirl.
I could look at her while shewas so angry at me.
And and again, I won't go intosome of the things just for her,
you know, for her sake, some ofthe things that she would do.
(36:21):
And and, you know, I I couldlook at her and have a deep love
for her.
That was God.
It wasn't not me.
That is agape love.
And I praise God for it.
And I I'm so thankful.
And again, I still step in andget in the way of the agape love
because my my pride or myselfishness.
I I told my in-laws, I was like,this whole experience has been
(36:43):
like a giant mirror to show us.
It only shows us all theugliness in us, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (36:48):
This is who you are.
SPEAKER_03 (36:49):
This is who you are.
And it's it's very humbling,very, very humbling.
But I can I can say agape loveis is only possible through the
Lord.
I know people who have said,like, how do you do it?
You know, people who understandadoption, how do you and I I
have no explanation except forGod.
If you if you don't have arelationship with Him, I don't
know how you can live.
(37:10):
No, live in the depths of, yeah,any of us can live on the
surface, but live in the depths.
And down in those depths, withthis agape love that He provides
for us and that He loves throughus, comes the joy.
And it's joy that does not makesense.
And I love God has taught me somuch.
I I don't think it's acoincidence that we thought of
the name joy for her because Hehas He has shown me where joy
(37:34):
actually comes from.
Joy is not happiness, we knowthat.
And it's it's this deep abiding,and and it can only come truly
from the Lord.
And so anyway, He it's ajourney.
I fail all the time.
I fail every day, probably, I'msure.
And um, you know, but man, sheshe is joy, she really is, and
(37:55):
she's amazing and she'shilarious, and God has uh by the
way, I just need to say, she hasfinally my heart breaks for her
now when I look back, and Ithink even in that room when I
wrote down on my phone, I hatethis.
I literally now can look backand I don't see her as the
problem or the enemy.
I my heart completely breaks forher because I'm now I can see,
(38:16):
like I said, I'm out of thetrenches of my own messy
feelings, and I'm able to see alittle bit.
I still won't fully understanduntil she's old enough to
understand herself um what shemust have been feeling.
And it gives me compassion forher.
And and uh, you know, she shehad every reason and right to
feel and act the way she wasduring that time.
And um, but man, she's God hasdone a work already and and he
(38:40):
is doing a work, and there'sjust no other way to go about it
other than literally at the feetof Jesus asking him for every
moment.
But I can tell you that if yousurrender and tell God, I want
to honor you, I'm doing aterrible job at this.
I need you to do it in me.
He he does, and it's it'samazing.
It's actually it's miraculous.
SPEAKER_02 (39:01):
Yeah, and even thinking, like you said, it's
only through Christ and howoften he had compassion for the
lost and the dying of people wholiterally hated him, yet he
said, Father, forgive them.
You know, they don't know whatthey're doing.
And so, yeah, when we face that,like you say, somebody she
doesn't know what she's doing,and and like you said, you can
even understand that more, andit helps us have that agape
(39:23):
love, which is not possiblebecause of our self-centeredness
in so many ways.
So well, Rob, anything you'dadd?
I know you guys are still on thejourney, and it's the story is
still being written, so it's Godis still working, but yeah, just
the process.
SPEAKER_01 (39:38):
I mean, yeah, we're in the we're a year and a half
into it, and she's 180 night andday.
I mean, physically, emotionallystill struggles in every way,
struggles for sure, but and evenand like Stephanie said earlier
on, we thought the cerebalsywould be the number one issue,
and it just felt right to thebottom of the not a big deal
anymore.
So we've we we work around that.
(40:00):
Um but yeah, she's grown in somany ways and I love you know
looking back at the milestones.
I'm so thankful that Stephanie'sa journaler and she wrote down
every little thing.
So when you're in the in doubt,look back and see what God has
has done.
And that just builds your faithfor the future, right?
And um and even in James umtalks about you know, consider
(40:22):
your trials joy because thatthat brings strength as we as we
work those those faith muscles,right?
That builds our faith in theLord.
But yeah, I just you know, justresponding to the love of
Christ.
Um my my favorite verse latelyhas just been Ephesians 3 18
where it says, Oh, that youwould l know brothers, that you
(40:43):
would know the love I have foryou.
So high, so deep, so wide.
And um if we truly knew the loveJesus had for us, for me, for
Rob, it wouldn't be a big dealto to do what we're trying to
do.
And we can't do it on our own onour own strength.
It's it's gotta be from the Lordor it's not gonna work.
(41:05):
Um I don't know if you've everlooked at the world and said,
Man, I don't know how they theydeal or if you've ever been to a
funeral where the the familythey don't know the Lord, but
the the the one who's deceaseddidn't know the Lord, and you
think, Man, there's no hope.
Like, I don't know how they dothat.
It's the same way.
Like, I don't know how peopleget by without the Lord because
(41:25):
man, we need them every day,every second, and it's a daily
lesson.
And um, you know, um that'sstill a work in progress for
sure.
SPEAKER_02 (41:37):
Amen to that.
And why the gospel matters somuch, and like I think, like you
said, journaling, you know, justwe can be so forgetful sometimes
and can hinder our obedience,hinder our ability to love.
It's that living the gospelevery day.
And I've been guilty of thattoo.
Like, all right, I got the Iview the gospel as like the
beginning.
Right, you know, it's like, ohokay, well, that was, you know,
(42:00):
okay, a while ago I was saved,but no, that has to be every day
what drives our love, the lovethat is inherent in the gospel,
how much God loved us even whenwe were unlovable, you know,
straight up.
You know, that's that's just thetruth.
So you guys being able to livethat out, even though, as you've
admitted, not easy.
You have to depend on the Lord.
That's not gonna come from yourown strength, but that journey,
(42:22):
I like what you said,surrendering to God's love is
what then allows us tounconditionally love.
You know, it has to be thatunconditional love that we all
want.
We want to experience that fromthe Lord, but then we don't want
to give it out a lot of timesbecause we are so selfish.
But that's that true love.
And yeah, we just as a societyare missing this in a lot of
(42:44):
ways because the love is lovemovements, all this other that's
just a self-centered love, whichis not exactly and I I think
that we're we're looking for afeeling, and it's just not a
feeling.
SPEAKER_03 (42:54):
It isn't, it's an act, it's an action from from
our hearts, you know, from theLord.
And I just think when we'relooking for a feeling, then
we're disappointed because wedon't feel it and and we're
struggling.
And also when you're looking fora feeling, you're putting
expectations on the person, thething, whatever it is that
you're hoping to feel this lovefor.
(43:14):
You're putting theseexpectations on that or them.
Um right.
SPEAKER_01 (43:18):
And yeah, agape is is no expectations.
SPEAKER_03 (43:21):
Yeah, at all.
I mean, that that'd be like, youknow, us being like, well, we it
we're going to adopt you, butyou're gonna need to get blonde
hair first or blue eyes becausethat's what we have, or you're
just whatever.
You're gonna need to do this,this, this, but but we didn't,
you know, we adopted her becausewe were called just like God,
there were no expectations on usexcept for just surrender and
(43:41):
and let him, you know, rescueus, save us.
And and yeah, I just think umthe whole expectation thing was
huge.
I didn't mention that earlier,but daily, like, and we do that,
we do it with each other, we doit, you know, with our with our
bio kids, like we we we putthese expectations because you
think, well, I want to be thisperson for you, I want to love
(44:02):
you in this way, but I'm gonnaneed you to be this way before I
can actually do it fully.
And it just doesn't work likethat.
But releasing all expectations,surrendering to the Lord's love
and allowing him to love throughyou.
And it's it's like it works, butit takes us a while to get
there.
Even after, like you said, weforget, even after he's we've
seen it, we've experienced it.
(44:23):
I still wake up and uh I haveall of a sudden I start with
these expectations, these thingsthat you know, because we look
for feelings.
We're all about feelings.
SPEAKER_02 (44:31):
So it's just feelings, expectations, Robbie,
you mentioned earlier our plans,you know, that we have that we
think you know, our code.
SPEAKER_01 (44:39):
It all comes down to I am selfish.
Yeah, we are right.
SPEAKER_02 (44:45):
It's the whole gospel of to get turned inside
out because we're so focused onourselves, either think we could
do it ourselves, or we're so badGod couldn't save us, it's still
a focus on ourselves.
It has to get us outward andfocused on the Lord.
So well, I know we could go onfor stories so much depth and so
many ways, man.
I'd love to spend a long time,but I would encourage our
(45:05):
listeners.
You know, we have such amazingstories, and just hopefully
getting the idea of what truelove, agape love, biblical,
Christ-like love looks likethrough adoption.
And admittedly, like we'vetalked about here, that's not
something we do in our own poweror do perfectly.
It truly should bring us closerto the Lord.
So really appreciate you guyssharing.
I know it's a lot of toughmoments and you know, shedding
(45:28):
some tears, and again, it'sstill being written, but uh
hopefully our listeners areencouraged.
Uh Rob and Steph are faithful.
Obviously, Rob's a worshippastor.
Steph does a lot of ourcommunications.
I know they'd uh if you'refeeling that call or or need
some encouragement, I'm surethey'd both uh love to talk to
you and uh we'd be willing toshare more of their story.
And you can even go back toRob's testimonies in our
(45:48):
archives, also the Cantalongosis a couple years ago, similar
to stories, yeah.
Yeah, so encourage anybody youknow listening, check out that
episode.
It was a couple years ago.
Um, it's just been a blessing,God working in his church here
that a lot of people have uhwalked that road.
So we encourage one another inthat.
So well, thank you guys forsharing.
SPEAKER_01 (46:09):
Yeah, thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_02 (46:11):
Life Talk Family, thanks for joining us.
Uh, continue with us inDecember.
We'll have more stories of whatlove looks like in marriage and
family and uh what thatsacrificial love really looks
like.
So thanks for joining us andwe'll see everybody next time.
Thanks for tuning in to the LifeTalk Podcast.
If this episode encouraged you,please be sure to like, comment,
(46:33):
subscribe, and leave a review soothers can find this content as
well.
And we'll look forward to seeingyou next Monday for another
great episode.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!