October 1, 2023 • 29 mins
What if diet culture in schools is more impactful than we think? That's what we'll be exploring today, holding up a magnifying glass to the subtle influences our children encounter and discussing how we, as parents, can support them in navigating these murky waters. We'll be examining the systemic issue of curriculum standards at a state and nationwide level, and asking the tough questions about the necessity of health or nutrition lessons.
We're not just challenging the status quo but also talking solutions. We'll be weighing in on the power of food education, a subject distinct from health or nutrition curriculum and an essential tool to discuss food in a neutral, non-judgemental way. Plus, we're going to be diving into the importance of making our children media literate and empowering them to critically evaluate the information they are exposed to. The goal? To equip you, dear listener, with the tools you need to foster positive relationships with food and body image for your children. Let's get into it!
Show Links:
- Podcast Episode: "So You Want Your Kids to Be Healthy?"
- Lift the Shame Virtual Support Group
Questions about today's episode or do you have topic requests for future episodes? Please send your feedback via email to hello@crystalkarges.com or connect with Crystal on Instagram.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey there, mama, you're listening to the Lift the
Shame podcast.
I'm your host, crystal, mama ofFive and your family's
intuitive eating dietitian, hereto help you cut through the
diet culture clutter so you canenjoy freedom with food as a
family.
I'm on a mission to help youend the generational legacy of
diet culture in your home so youcan experience motherhood free
(00:22):
from food guilt and body shame.
Listen in weekly for guidanceon how you can ditch diet
culture, heal your relationshipwith food in your body and
confidently raise intuitiveeaters.
Let's dive in and lift theshame together.
Hey, mama, welcome back to theshow.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin today, and over the last
(00:43):
couple of weeks we have beendiving into diet culture and how
it can show up in our kids'schools, sports teams, et cetera
, and so today we're going tocontinue that conversation by
answering a question that hascome up in different ways that I
thought is totally valid andimportant to explore Because,
again, our kids are oftenexposed to diet culture in very
(01:04):
subtle ways, and at the time ofthis recording, it is October
and my kids have been in schoolfor a little over a month, and
I've already had them cominghome telling me things, kind of
regurgitating some of thevernacular that's been brought
up in classes and that they'veheard from other kids and
teachers talking about food in amore polarizing way or talking
(01:27):
about we need to eat healthierfoods and things that are better
for our bodies all of that, andso it's definitely out there,
it's definitely happening and Ithink, as parents, when we can
be aware of it, we can bettersupport our children in
navigating through it Because,again, we cannot keep our kids
in a bubble.
We cannot prevent them fromhearing or potentially engaging
(01:51):
with some of these messages thatare out there in various forms.
However, we can continue tobuild them up and help them to
become impervious to thesemessages so that they recognize
it for what it is.
They recognize that it'scontradictory to the things that
are necessary to listen to andtrust their bodies.
And I'm also just here toencourage you in doing the work,
(02:14):
continuing the work, inbuilding the foundation at home.
I know sometimes it can bereally disheartening when you're
doing all this intentional workto support your kids in
learning how to trust theirbodies, in developing a good
relationship with food andreally making the effort to
shift your family's legacy awayfrom the trauma of diet culture.
It can be so frustrating whenyou're putting in all the work
(02:37):
to do this, only for your childto encounter these messages
outside of your home, and I justwant to encourage you because
all of that work is not going towaste.
That is what is creating thisessential foundation for your
children to grow and learn andto have a safe place in which
they can explore what feels goodin their bodies when it comes
(02:58):
to food and learn how to trusttheir bodies and have a place
that isn't defined by food gillor body shaming in any shape or
form.
And that is what you arecreating, and anything that your
child is encountering in theworld does not cancel that out.
And so I just wanted to startby saying that one common
question or concern that cancome up as we're talking about
(03:21):
health curriculum, nutritionlessons that are incorporated in
schools, that are maybe beingtalked about or discussed on
your child's sport team or ahealth class and again, this is
coming at all different stagesof school, from kindergarten to
high school and college andeverything in between.
And another important thing toremember is that curriculum
(03:44):
standards are often influencedat a state and nationwide level
and they kind of trickle downinto our school system.
So this is definitely asystemic issue and I always
think it's important to keepthat in the forefront of our
minds as we're navigating andencountering diet culture
through our school systems.
So, since it often is apredominant part of curriculum,
(04:06):
it begs the question is itnecessary, is it valid, is it
important for our kids to havethis exposure to health or
nutrition lessons or curriculum?
Is this an important piece ofshaping their overall health and
wellness?
And this is a valid questionand I think it's important to
have a discussion around it,because the likelihood of your
(04:28):
child encountering this in theschool system is very high and
because it's such an ingrainedpart of curriculum across the
nation, at least here in theUnited States.
We do want to examinecritically what is the impact
and is this necessary and thisis something that I've heard
from parents that I've workedwith is is it important to
(04:49):
incorporate some of these thingsinto how I talk to my kids
about food?
Am I potentially robbing themof something crucial or
essential to their overallhealth and wellness if I'm
disrupting these lessons thatare coming home or asking the
teacher for a differentassignment for my student or
child?
This is an important questionto examine and that's what I
(05:12):
want to talk about today andwhen we can unravel what is at
the heart of these things.
It does empower us to bettersupport our children as they
navigate these issues at school,and we want our children to
become literate in media andunderstanding diet culture and
how it influences our children.
By the way, we will have someupcoming episodes just on how to
(05:34):
talk to kids about diet cultureand explain to them what it is,
and that is the whole topic initself.
I want to make sure that youhave some resources for that,
because I know it can feeldaunting to talk to our kids
about that, but again, we wantthem to learn critical thinking
and to be able to questionthings that are coming up and
not just take everything at facevalue, and I think that's
(05:55):
something that's somewhatcharacteristic of traditional
school systems, where it's justlike here's the material and we
want you to learn this and wewant you to be able to
regurgitate it on a test or anexam and not really
understanding the importance andhow does this fit in the grand
scheme of my life and why isthis important for me to learn?
And this is something that Ithink can be helpful to examine
(06:18):
when it comes to nutritionlessons, nutrition curriculum,
health classes, all of thesethings we want our children to
understand A is it helpful andimportant for you?
And B what is the purpose, howis this serving you and what is
this doing for your life, foryour overall wellness and
well-being?
And when we can look at thisquestion ourselves first, as
(06:40):
parents, it can give us somebetter tools and better content,
so to say, when we're havingsome of these hopefully
discussions with our ownchildren in various shapes or
forms.
So first, I think it'simportant to ask the question
what does it mean to be healthy?
This is a huge topic in itself.
I do have another podcast thatgoes into this a little bit more
(07:02):
and I will link that for you inthe show notes if you're
interested.
But to summarize, health ishighly contextual and very
individualized.
What is healthy for one personmay not be healthy for somebody
else.
The other thing is that healthencompasses so many different
domains of our life and diet.
Culture is defined by its meansof associating health with
(07:28):
weight and body size, andnothing could be further from
the truth, and there's so muchscientific literature and data
and studies that show that, thatour health is not defined by
our weight alone.
There is our risk of disease orour ability to be functioning
thriving people.
And this is the lie that dietculture sells us in order to
(07:52):
make its many different dietsthat come in many different
forms more appealing, so that weget stuck in this multi-billion
dollar industry, and it'sinfuriating when we break it
down and think about it that way, but I think this is an
important question to keepasking ourselves when our kids
are being exposed to theseconcepts like this is healthy
(08:13):
for you or this food is healthy,this food is unhealthy, and
asking our kids these questionsto help them start to think
critically about some of thesetopics.
What does health even mean andthis does look different for all
of us depending on oursituations and, again,
understanding that itencompasses many different
domains of life, including ourmental health and wellness, and
(08:37):
this is something that I thinkis always important for us to
understand as parents is that ifour children are dealing with
any type of food shaming or bodyshaming, or feeling anxiety
around what they should beeating or what they shouldn't be
eating, or worried about whatthey're eating, or having fear
around what they're eating orthe foods that they're exposed
(08:58):
to.
All of those things have anegative impact on their overall
health and wellness, especiallymental health, and these are
things that I know you may haveexperienced growing up I know I
did and we have to look at thebig picture, especially when it
comes to health, and understandthat having a healthy child does
not mean having a thin child ora child that's in a smaller
(09:20):
body.
And these are often theunderlying messages that are
connected to health curriculum,and this is something that is
important to challenge, becauseat the heart of this is a very
damaging message and it's oftenpresented in a way that's almost
like a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Like this is good, theseconcepts are helpful, these
(09:41):
concepts are important to makingyou an overall healthier person
, and we have to understand whatis at the core of it, and we
can't put health in a box and wecan't define health by weight
and remembering that most healthcurriculum is driven by an
agenda to make kids smaller andmake kids be in smaller bodies,
(10:04):
and that is not what health is,and we have to continue to
challenge that and just examinethat.
But also for ourselves, many ofus have internalized that bias
in one sense or another as aresult of living in a
predominant dieting culture, andso we ourselves need to examine
this question and continue todo the work for ourselves.
When we're asking ourselves,well, I want my child to be
(10:26):
healthy.
I would ask the question foryou to reflect on what does that
mean to you?
What does it mean for yourchild to be healthy?
And for some people, that mightmean I want my child to be in a
thinner body.
And I want you to alsounderstand, if you're reflecting
on this question and askingyourself what is connected to
(10:47):
the meaning of health for you,for your child.
Please do so without any shame,for model world raus is harsh
towards people in larger bodies,including children, and many
children in larger bodies arethe brunt of bullying and weight
stigma and weight bias, andsaying or wanting your child to
be in a smaller body often has adeeper meaning to it.
(11:11):
What you really might be sayingis I don't want my child to be
bullied, I don't want my childto suffer or to go through
difficulties in relationships orfriendships, or I don't want my
child to be singled out on thesports team because they're in a
larger body, and that is validand I think that's important to
recognize, but also tounderstand that the solution is
(11:33):
not to make your child smaller,but to help your child naturally
develop into the body thatthey're meant to have and to
have a trusting relationshipwith food and their bodies,
because ultimately, that is whatwill be healthier for them over
the long run.
And these are hard things tounpack because oftentimes it's
coming from us, and this is whywe need to continue to do the
(11:57):
work ourselves to ask ourselveswhat am I attaching to when I
say I want my child to behealthy?
What is the attached meaning orwhat are the hidden agendas
that may be there?
And oftentimes those hiddenagendas can come from our own
trauma around food and ourbodies, because if you grew up
in a larger body and you werebullied at school or you were
(12:20):
encouraged to diet, all of thosethings are going to surface
when you see your child insimilar situations.
That is parallel processing.
We've talked about that here onthe podcast many times.
So when it comes to bringingthis back nutrition curriculum
and health education this iswhere we really have to ask the
question what are the hiddenagendas attached to these
(12:43):
lessons or the way that this isbeing promoted in our schools.
Oftentimes it is coming with anattached agenda to make our kids
smaller, and again, that is nota proponent of health, and this
is why we have to keep askingourselves this question and also
explore that with our childrenin age appropriate ways, but
(13:04):
helping them understand thathealth is not just about what we
eat.
It's not just about what weweigh or our body sizes.
There are so many things thatinfluence our overall health and
wellness, and having thoseconversations with our children
can help them to start thinkingabout this in a more critical
way, because the way it'spromoted or often promoted in
school curriculum is very blackand white these foods are good,
(13:27):
these foods are bad.
You need to be exercising thisamount, you need to be doing
this and not be doing that, andthat is very characteristic of
diet culture a rigid way ofthinking about food and our
bodies, and we know that thatcan be a trigger for disordered
eating down the road, and wedon't want that for our kids.
We want to help prevent that atall costs, and so this is one
(13:48):
of the things that we canexplore with them, but also just
question critically when we seeit coming through our kids'
school and the differentinteractions they have with
their curriculum throughouttheir schooling years.
Another point I want you to justthink about or consider is
intent versus interpretation.
So let's break this down.
Often times, curriculum ispresented with the intent to
(14:12):
help our children, and that iswhy I think we can get sucked
into it sometimes as parents,because of the way it's
presented.
Well, we have the best ofintentions.
We want to help our kids.
We want them to be healthy andthriving and strong.
This is how health curriculumis often packaged and promoted,
especially in school.
(14:32):
Now what's important tounderstand is how our children
interpreting what's beingpresented to them, because
intention and interpretation aretwo different things.
Meaning is the intent actuallylanding on how our kids are
interpreting this information.
And while health curriculum maybe promoted to our children
(14:54):
with the best of intentions,it's often interpreted in ways
that can be harmful to ourchildren and how they think
about food and their bodies.
So, for example, this idea oftalking about healthy versus
unhealthy, or eat these foodsbefore you eat those foods
because that's going to give youmore energy and help you feel
better during the day.
Those might have good intentionbehind them, but because of the
(15:18):
way our children's brainsfunction developmentally.
They are concrete thinkers andthey will not interpret that
information in the manner inwhich it's being presented to
them.
Children are taking things veryliterally because of how their
brain is functioning, and sochildren are often interpreting
(15:38):
these messages to mean somethingother than what the intent was.
So, for example, a child thathears we should eat these foods
before those foods mightinternalize that message that I
am bad if I want to eat thesethings or I can't trust my body
because I want to eat thesethings that are now classified
(15:58):
as unhealthy or bad.
Remembering that our kids takethese things very literally
because of how their brain isfunctioning at their ages, and
they cannot generally understandthe many nuances that are a
part of health and nutritionconcepts.
These are complex topics.
Our children do not think inabstract ways.
(16:21):
They're thinking very literally, and this is why I do think
it's important to challengethese things or just examine
them.
Or if we're having conversationswith teachers or professionals
expressing concerns or sharingthese concerns with them, this
can be a helpful approach.
And what we're saying is I seeyour intention and I appreciate
(16:41):
your intention, and I'mconcerned about the
interpretation.
I'm concerned about how mychild might be interpreting what
is being presented to them, andthis is where, as parents, it
also helps us to understand thisin a bigger picture, because we
want to be aware of what isbeing presented to our children
and also understand that theyare likely interpreting these
(17:04):
things in a different way, andthis gives us a platform and
opportunity to have theseconversations with them again to
spark that critical thinking.
So this is something that Iwanted to share to you because,
again, I know that our teachersand providers that care for our
children do have the bestintentions for them and the best
(17:26):
interest in them.
They wouldn't be a teacher orprovider that works with
children if they didn't.
And I think there is adissonance, there is a gap in
understanding the impact of someof these concepts as they're
being presented to our childrenwith the best of intention.
The interpretation is differentthan the intention, and that is
where problems can happen andproblems can arise or things can
(17:49):
start to backfire because ourkids are now interpreting and
internalizing different messagesthan what was intended and when
we can understand that, too, asparents, I do think it can help
us just approach these thingswith more compassion, especially
for providers and teachers, whoare often being handed this
curriculum and told to teachthese concepts and incorporate
(18:09):
them in your classrooms orduring your lunchroom, whatever
that might look like.
When we can have compassion forthe people in our lives,
especially the people that areinvolved in our children's lives
, it can help us to plant seedsthat are maybe better received,
so I wanted to share that too.
Another thing is just thisconcept of weight stigma.
This is a whole topic in itself.
(18:30):
However, we cannot overstatethe damage of weight stigma on
children and their overallhealth and wellness.
One of the most damaging thingsabout nutrition curriculum in
the school system is that thehidden agenda or maybe not so
hidden, because this is actuallyactively promoted is to and I'm
(18:51):
saying this in quotes fight thechildhood obesity epidemic.
This is very damaging becauseit leads with weight stigma and
weight bias, and it'sessentially telling our children
that are in larger bodies thatyour body is wrong, your body's
not okay, and you better believethat.
Our children are internalizingthese messages at a very young
(19:11):
age and that can be somethingthat can cause so much harm and
damage throughout the rest oftheir lives, and many of us have
experienced something similargrowing up, whether in the
school system or with ahealthcare provider.
Weight stigma is very alive andwell and is very harmful to our
children, and we can't forgethow this is rooted in many forms
(19:31):
of health curriculum andnutrition education.
We do have some studies thatshow the impact of nutrition
curriculum in the school systemsthat are being driven by this
obesity prevention angle.
It is actually perpetuatingweight stigma which is creating
a whole other host of issues forour children, because we know
(19:53):
that children who experienceweight stigma are more likely to
experience mental health issues, including depression and
anxiety.
They're more likely to be atrisk of eating disorders and
more likely to be dealing with ahost of health complications
throughout their life.
And it really just infuriatesme that there is so much push
(20:15):
and agenda around preventingobesity while conveniently
glossing over the impact ofweight stigma on our children.
Some children are naturallygoing to be in larger bodies and
again, that doesn't definetheir health.
That doesn't define theirabilities or their wellness or
their aptitude in any sense ofthe way.
And yet, because of dietculture, this is often
(20:39):
overlooked.
Where our children's bodies aresingled out as the problem and
because of the way that we'reapproaching it, especially in
school curriculum, we'reactually seeing a whole other
host of issues arising.
We've also seen some literaturethat has shown that school care
providers, including teachersand coaches, may have lower
(20:59):
expectations of children thatare in lower bodies, which can
actually prevent them fromhelping or engaging with these
children in reaching theirpotential as a student in their
classroom or on their team.
This is very damaging as well.
So we cannot overlook theimpact of weight stigma and how
this is often perpetuated inhealth curriculum, because
(21:21):
health curriculum is rootedsystemically in weight stigma.
So I wanted to make sure that wetalked about that, because this
is not what we see at thesurface of health or nutrition
curriculum.
On the surface it can seemharmless, it can even seem
helpful, but we really need tounderstand all angles of it in
order to know the potentialimplications or effects that it
(21:44):
may be having on our children.
I wanted to give you thesethings to think about, but I
also want to end this episodewith some encouragement, because
I know it can feel again verydaunting to know that our kids
are being exposed to thesethings, and sometimes what's
challenging is feeling like wedon't have any control over it.
I know that can be reallydifficult and challenging, but I
want to give you some practicalthings to think about, but also
(22:06):
to implement in your home tohelp counteract some of the
things that your child may beexposed to at school.
When it comes to healthcurriculum and that is first
understanding that there is abig difference between nutrition
curriculum or health curriculumand food education these are
(22:28):
two different things and I dothink it's important for us to
understand the differencebetween them, especially if you
are a parent who is working onhealing your relationship with
food and wanting to do thingsdifferently with your child.
I tend to see that there'salmost a fear of talking to our
kids about food at all, becausewe're worried about saying the
(22:48):
wrong thing or worried about ourchild potentially interpreting
a message about themselves ortheir bodies based on the things
that we're saying about food orhow we're talking about food
and bodies.
So sometimes we worry aboutsaying anything at all, and this
is where I think we have agreat opportunity to integrate
food education and to reallysteer away from this health
(23:10):
curriculum.
Food education is what itsounds like, like talking to our
kids about food, where it comesfrom, how it grows, what it
looks like, how it tastes,textures, flavors all of these
things are under the umbrella offood education, and this can be
such a beautiful place toinspire and encourage curiosity
(23:31):
in a safe setting for ourchildren.
This is a stark difference fromhealth or nutrition curriculum,
which often has the hiddenagenda of making our kids
smaller or changing the way thatthey eat or changing the way
they look in their bodies.
Health curriculum often comeshand in hand with control.
(23:52):
It often is promoting externalrules about food or bodies that
can actually remove our kidsfrom their innate intuitive
eating abilities, and that ishow you can ultimately recognize
it for what it is.
Food education, on the otherhand, is intended to spark
curiosity and it should not comewith any type of hidden agenda.
(24:13):
This is something that I had theopportunity to see with my kids
over the summer.
My husband planted garden boxesfor us, and I've shared this
before, but anything I've triedto grow in the ground has died.
I just don't have a green thumb, and as much as I've tried to
garden in different ways, ithasn't been successful.
But, all that to say, myhusband was amazing in helping
(24:36):
us grow some plants and we grew.
We tried to grow differentthings and we grew some tomatoes
and green beans and spaghettisquash.
Not everything was successful.
A lot of our plants ended updying, but some of them did
survive and we did get somedifferent fruit and veggies.
But it was just fun to havethat as kind of a platform to
talk to my kids about food in aneutral way.
(24:57):
That did spark curiosity and itwas very child led, where they
were curious about planting theseed and we have to water it and
we need to give it sunlight andmake sure that we pull out the
weeds and the mushrooms that aregrowing over it, and it was
very natural.
It wasn't anything that feltforced.
It was something that they gotto participate in and, as a
result of that, learneddifferent aspects about food
(25:20):
that they had never learnedbefore.
And this is just an example.
I'm not saying that you need togarden or plant a garden in
order to teach your childrenabout food, but what I want you
to see is that there are manyopportunities to engage our
children in food education tojust help them learn about all
kinds of foods, and this is notjust about fruits and vegetables
(25:41):
.
This is about all kinds of foodand this can help them
establish positive relationshipwith food that isn't fear driven
, that isn't laced with controlor external rules.
It's really about examining allkinds of food from a curious
lens and understanding whatfeels good in your body and what
doesn't.
And again I want to make itclear it's not just about fruits
(26:01):
and veggies, because I see thisa lot on different platforms
that promote learning about food, particularly fruits and
vegetables, but there's thishidden agenda of getting our
kids to eat them.
And again, we're not abouthidden agendas here, because
those can backfire, but this canbe about anything.
I think cooking with kids canbe a great way to integrate food
education in a way that sparksthat curiosity.
(26:23):
Whether it's making pancakes orcookies or whatever it is.
That can be a natural way tosegue into different aspects
about food and how food can bean integral part of caring for
our bodies and ultimately, whenour children are free to explore
food from that curious lens,they feel better about it.
When food is promoted from aplace of hidden agenda, it often
(26:49):
comes hand in hand with fearand control, and those things
are not going to help ourchildren develop positive
associations with food or feelconfident in their bodies.
So this is something that Iwanted to share with you just to
think about.
Are there ways that you cannaturally engage in food
education.
Helping our kids develop ahealthy relationship with food
(27:12):
is not just about steering themaway from all the things that we
shouldn't be saying.
So many of us grew up hearingfood talked about in ways that
were negative, in ways that wereharmful and ways that were
shaming, and we don't want ourchildren to grow up hearing food
talked about in that same way,and for some of us, that can
cause us to clam up where wefeel like I don't know how to
(27:33):
talk about food because it wasnever talked about or discussed
in a way outside of a shamingnarrative, and so it can feel
foreign.
It can feel comfortable, it canfeel scary to think about
approaching food with ourchildren in a more neutral lens,
and this is where foodeducation can come into play,
where it's about thinkingthrough the lens of curiosity
and trust and making itsomething that feels natural,
(27:56):
not forced.
These are the things that canhelp our child naturally feel
more confident with food and notinternalize a fearful or
shaming narrative or messagingabout food or their bodies.
So I hope this was helpful andgave you some things to think
about.
I know sometimes I can rambleon and on, but I just wanted to
share some of these things withyou and just be able to explore
(28:19):
this topic with you from acritical lens where we can break
some of these things down andpeel the layers away.
And, ultimately, I just want toencourage and help you build
confidence in the approaches tofood and bodies that you're
taking in your own home, becauseI know that you're intentional
about rewriting that narrativeand you're doing such a great
job.
Thank you, as always, forspending time with me and if you
(28:41):
have any feedback or questionsthat I can answer for you, I'd
love to hear from you.
You can always connect with mevia email hello at
crystalcargiscom and I cannotwait to see you next week.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode of the Lift the
Shame podcast.
For more tips and guidance onyour mother-her journey, come
connect with me on Instagram atcrystalcargis.
(29:02):
Until next week, mama, I'll becheering you on.
Bye for now.
Hey there, mama, you're listening to the Lift the
Shame podcast.
I'm your host, crystal, mama ofFive and your family's
intuitive eating dietitian, hereto help you cut through the
diet culture clutter so you canenjoy freedom with food as a
family.
I'm on a mission to help youend the generational legacy of
diet culture in your home so youcan experience motherhood free
(00:22):
from food guilt and body shame.
Listen in weekly for guidanceon how you can ditch diet
culture, heal your relationshipwith food in your body and
confidently raise intuitiveeaters.
Let's dive in and lift theshame together.
Hey, mama, welcome back to theshow.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin today, and over the last
(00:43):
couple of weeks we have beendiving into diet culture and how
it can show up in our kids'schools, sports teams, et cetera
, and so today we're going tocontinue that conversation by
answering a question that hascome up in different ways that I
thought is totally valid andimportant to explore Because,
again, our kids are oftenexposed to diet culture in very
(01:04):
subtle ways, and at the time ofthis recording, it is October
and my kids have been in schoolfor a little over a month, and
I've already had them cominghome telling me things, kind of
regurgitating some of thevernacular that's been brought
up in classes and that they'veheard from other kids and
teachers talking about food in amore polarizing way or talking
(01:27):
about we need to eat healthierfoods and things that are better
for our bodies all of that, andso it's definitely out there,
it's definitely happening and Ithink, as parents, when we can
be aware of it, we can bettersupport our children in
navigating through it Because,again, we cannot keep our kids
in a bubble.
We cannot prevent them fromhearing or potentially engaging
(01:51):
with some of these messages thatare out there in various forms.
However, we can continue tobuild them up and help them to
become impervious to thesemessages so that they recognize
it for what it is.
They recognize that it'scontradictory to the things that
are necessary to listen to andtrust their bodies.
And I'm also just here toencourage you in doing the work,
(02:14):
continuing the work, inbuilding the foundation at home.
I know sometimes it can bereally disheartening when you're
doing all this intentional workto support your kids in
learning how to trust theirbodies, in developing a good
relationship with food andreally making the effort to
shift your family's legacy awayfrom the trauma of diet culture.
It can be so frustrating whenyou're putting in all the work
(02:37):
to do this, only for your childto encounter these messages
outside of your home, and I justwant to encourage you because
all of that work is not going towaste.
That is what is creating thisessential foundation for your
children to grow and learn andto have a safe place in which
they can explore what feels goodin their bodies when it comes
(02:58):
to food and learn how to trusttheir bodies and have a place
that isn't defined by food gillor body shaming in any shape or
form.
And that is what you arecreating, and anything that your
child is encountering in theworld does not cancel that out.
And so I just wanted to startby saying that one common
question or concern that cancome up as we're talking about
(03:21):
health curriculum, nutritionlessons that are incorporated in
schools, that are maybe beingtalked about or discussed on
your child's sport team or ahealth class and again, this is
coming at all different stagesof school, from kindergarten to
high school and college andeverything in between.
And another important thing toremember is that curriculum
(03:44):
standards are often influencedat a state and nationwide level
and they kind of trickle downinto our school system.
So this is definitely asystemic issue and I always
think it's important to keepthat in the forefront of our
minds as we're navigating andencountering diet culture
through our school systems.
So, since it often is apredominant part of curriculum,
(04:06):
it begs the question is itnecessary, is it valid, is it
important for our kids to havethis exposure to health or
nutrition lessons or curriculum?
Is this an important piece ofshaping their overall health and
wellness?
And this is a valid questionand I think it's important to
have a discussion around it,because the likelihood of your
(04:28):
child encountering this in theschool system is very high and
because it's such an ingrainedpart of curriculum across the
nation, at least here in theUnited States.
We do want to examinecritically what is the impact
and is this necessary and thisis something that I've heard
from parents that I've workedwith is is it important to
(04:49):
incorporate some of these thingsinto how I talk to my kids
about food?
Am I potentially robbing themof something crucial or
essential to their overallhealth and wellness if I'm
disrupting these lessons thatare coming home or asking the
teacher for a differentassignment for my student or
child?
This is an important questionto examine and that's what I
(05:12):
want to talk about today andwhen we can unravel what is at
the heart of these things.
It does empower us to bettersupport our children as they
navigate these issues at school,and we want our children to
become literate in media andunderstanding diet culture and
how it influences our children.
By the way, we will have someupcoming episodes just on how to
(05:34):
talk to kids about diet cultureand explain to them what it is,
and that is the whole topic initself.
I want to make sure that youhave some resources for that,
because I know it can feeldaunting to talk to our kids
about that, but again, we wantthem to learn critical thinking
and to be able to questionthings that are coming up and
not just take everything at facevalue, and I think that's
(05:55):
something that's somewhatcharacteristic of traditional
school systems, where it's justlike here's the material and we
want you to learn this and wewant you to be able to
regurgitate it on a test or anexam and not really
understanding the importance andhow does this fit in the grand
scheme of my life and why isthis important for me to learn?
And this is something that Ithink can be helpful to examine
(06:18):
when it comes to nutritionlessons, nutrition curriculum,
health classes, all of thesethings we want our children to
understand A is it helpful andimportant for you?
And B what is the purpose, howis this serving you and what is
this doing for your life, foryour overall wellness and
well-being?
And when we can look at thisquestion ourselves first, as
(06:40):
parents, it can give us somebetter tools and better content,
so to say, when we're havingsome of these hopefully
discussions with our ownchildren in various shapes or
forms.
So first, I think it'simportant to ask the question
what does it mean to be healthy?
This is a huge topic in itself.
I do have another podcast thatgoes into this a little bit more
(07:02):
and I will link that for you inthe show notes if you're
interested.
But to summarize, health ishighly contextual and very
individualized.
What is healthy for one personmay not be healthy for somebody
else.
The other thing is that healthencompasses so many different
domains of our life and diet.
Culture is defined by its meansof associating health with
(07:28):
weight and body size, andnothing could be further from
the truth, and there's so muchscientific literature and data
and studies that show that, thatour health is not defined by
our weight alone.
There is our risk of disease orour ability to be functioning
thriving people.
And this is the lie that dietculture sells us in order to
(07:52):
make its many different dietsthat come in many different
forms more appealing, so that weget stuck in this multi-billion
dollar industry, and it'sinfuriating when we break it
down and think about it that way, but I think this is an
important question to keepasking ourselves when our kids
are being exposed to theseconcepts like this is healthy
(08:13):
for you or this food is healthy,this food is unhealthy, and
asking our kids these questionsto help them start to think
critically about some of thesetopics.
What does health even mean andthis does look different for all
of us depending on oursituations and, again,
understanding that itencompasses many different
domains of life, including ourmental health and wellness, and
(08:37):
this is something that I thinkis always important for us to
understand as parents is that ifour children are dealing with
any type of food shaming or bodyshaming, or feeling anxiety
around what they should beeating or what they shouldn't be
eating, or worried about whatthey're eating, or having fear
around what they're eating orthe foods that they're exposed
(08:58):
to.
All of those things have anegative impact on their overall
health and wellness, especiallymental health, and these are
things that I know you may haveexperienced growing up I know I
did and we have to look at thebig picture, especially when it
comes to health, and understandthat having a healthy child does
not mean having a thin child ora child that's in a smaller
(09:20):
body.
And these are often theunderlying messages that are
connected to health curriculum,and this is something that is
important to challenge, becauseat the heart of this is a very
damaging message and it's oftenpresented in a way that's almost
like a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Like this is good, theseconcepts are helpful, these
(09:41):
concepts are important to makingyou an overall healthier person
, and we have to understand whatis at the core of it, and we
can't put health in a box and wecan't define health by weight
and remembering that most healthcurriculum is driven by an
agenda to make kids smaller andmake kids be in smaller bodies,
(10:04):
and that is not what health is,and we have to continue to
challenge that and just examinethat.
But also for ourselves, many ofus have internalized that bias
in one sense or another as aresult of living in a
predominant dieting culture, andso we ourselves need to examine
this question and continue todo the work for ourselves.
When we're asking ourselves,well, I want my child to be
(10:26):
healthy.
I would ask the question foryou to reflect on what does that
mean to you?
What does it mean for yourchild to be healthy?
And for some people, that mightmean I want my child to be in a
thinner body.
And I want you to alsounderstand, if you're reflecting
on this question and askingyourself what is connected to
(10:47):
the meaning of health for you,for your child.
Please do so without any shame,for model world raus is harsh
towards people in larger bodies,including children, and many
children in larger bodies arethe brunt of bullying and weight
stigma and weight bias, andsaying or wanting your child to
be in a smaller body often has adeeper meaning to it.
(11:11):
What you really might be sayingis I don't want my child to be
bullied, I don't want my childto suffer or to go through
difficulties in relationships orfriendships, or I don't want my
child to be singled out on thesports team because they're in a
larger body, and that is validand I think that's important to
recognize, but also tounderstand that the solution is
(11:33):
not to make your child smaller,but to help your child naturally
develop into the body thatthey're meant to have and to
have a trusting relationshipwith food and their bodies,
because ultimately, that is whatwill be healthier for them over
the long run.
And these are hard things tounpack because oftentimes it's
coming from us, and this is whywe need to continue to do the
(11:57):
work ourselves to ask ourselveswhat am I attaching to when I
say I want my child to behealthy?
What is the attached meaning orwhat are the hidden agendas
that may be there?
And oftentimes those hiddenagendas can come from our own
trauma around food and ourbodies, because if you grew up
in a larger body and you werebullied at school or you were
(12:20):
encouraged to diet, all of thosethings are going to surface
when you see your child insimilar situations.
That is parallel processing.
We've talked about that here onthe podcast many times.
So when it comes to bringingthis back nutrition curriculum
and health education this iswhere we really have to ask the
question what are the hiddenagendas attached to these
(12:43):
lessons or the way that this isbeing promoted in our schools.
Oftentimes it is coming with anattached agenda to make our kids
smaller, and again, that is nota proponent of health, and this
is why we have to keep askingourselves this question and also
explore that with our childrenin age appropriate ways, but
(13:04):
helping them understand thathealth is not just about what we
eat.
It's not just about what weweigh or our body sizes.
There are so many things thatinfluence our overall health and
wellness, and having thoseconversations with our children
can help them to start thinkingabout this in a more critical
way, because the way it'spromoted or often promoted in
school curriculum is very blackand white these foods are good,
(13:27):
these foods are bad.
You need to be exercising thisamount, you need to be doing
this and not be doing that, andthat is very characteristic of
diet culture a rigid way ofthinking about food and our
bodies, and we know that thatcan be a trigger for disordered
eating down the road, and wedon't want that for our kids.
We want to help prevent that atall costs, and so this is one
(13:48):
of the things that we canexplore with them, but also just
question critically when we seeit coming through our kids'
school and the differentinteractions they have with
their curriculum throughouttheir schooling years.
Another point I want you to justthink about or consider is
intent versus interpretation.
So let's break this down.
Often times, curriculum ispresented with the intent to
(14:12):
help our children, and that iswhy I think we can get sucked
into it sometimes as parents,because of the way it's
presented.
Well, we have the best ofintentions.
We want to help our kids.
We want them to be healthy andthriving and strong.
This is how health curriculumis often packaged and promoted,
especially in school.
(14:32):
Now what's important tounderstand is how our children
interpreting what's beingpresented to them, because
intention and interpretation aretwo different things.
Meaning is the intent actuallylanding on how our kids are
interpreting this information.
And while health curriculum maybe promoted to our children
(14:54):
with the best of intentions,it's often interpreted in ways
that can be harmful to ourchildren and how they think
about food and their bodies.
So, for example, this idea oftalking about healthy versus
unhealthy, or eat these foodsbefore you eat those foods
because that's going to give youmore energy and help you feel
better during the day.
Those might have good intentionbehind them, but because of the
(15:18):
way our children's brainsfunction developmentally.
They are concrete thinkers andthey will not interpret that
information in the manner inwhich it's being presented to
them.
Children are taking things veryliterally because of how their
brain is functioning, and sochildren are often interpreting
(15:38):
these messages to mean somethingother than what the intent was.
So, for example, a child thathears we should eat these foods
before those foods mightinternalize that message that I
am bad if I want to eat thesethings or I can't trust my body
because I want to eat thesethings that are now classified
(15:58):
as unhealthy or bad.
Remembering that our kids takethese things very literally
because of how their brain isfunctioning at their ages, and
they cannot generally understandthe many nuances that are a
part of health and nutritionconcepts.
These are complex topics.
Our children do not think inabstract ways.
(16:21):
They're thinking very literally, and this is why I do think
it's important to challengethese things or just examine
them.
Or if we're having conversationswith teachers or professionals
expressing concerns or sharingthese concerns with them, this
can be a helpful approach.
And what we're saying is I seeyour intention and I appreciate
(16:41):
your intention, and I'mconcerned about the
interpretation.
I'm concerned about how mychild might be interpreting what
is being presented to them, andthis is where, as parents, it
also helps us to understand thisin a bigger picture, because we
want to be aware of what isbeing presented to our children
and also understand that theyare likely interpreting these
(17:04):
things in a different way, andthis gives us a platform and
opportunity to have theseconversations with them again to
spark that critical thinking.
So this is something that Iwanted to share to you because,
again, I know that our teachersand providers that care for our
children do have the bestintentions for them and the best
(17:26):
interest in them.
They wouldn't be a teacher orprovider that works with
children if they didn't.
And I think there is adissonance, there is a gap in
understanding the impact of someof these concepts as they're
being presented to our childrenwith the best of intention.
The interpretation is differentthan the intention, and that is
where problems can happen andproblems can arise or things can
(17:49):
start to backfire because ourkids are now interpreting and
internalizing different messagesthan what was intended and when
we can understand that, too, asparents, I do think it can help
us just approach these thingswith more compassion, especially
for providers and teachers, whoare often being handed this
curriculum and told to teachthese concepts and incorporate
(18:09):
them in your classrooms orduring your lunchroom, whatever
that might look like.
When we can have compassion forthe people in our lives,
especially the people that areinvolved in our children's lives
, it can help us to plant seedsthat are maybe better received,
so I wanted to share that too.
Another thing is just thisconcept of weight stigma.
This is a whole topic in itself.
(18:30):
However, we cannot overstatethe damage of weight stigma on
children and their overallhealth and wellness.
One of the most damaging thingsabout nutrition curriculum in
the school system is that thehidden agenda or maybe not so
hidden, because this is actuallyactively promoted is to and I'm
(18:51):
saying this in quotes fight thechildhood obesity epidemic.
This is very damaging becauseit leads with weight stigma and
weight bias, and it'sessentially telling our children
that are in larger bodies thatyour body is wrong, your body's
not okay, and you better believethat.
Our children are internalizingthese messages at a very young
(19:11):
age and that can be somethingthat can cause so much harm and
damage throughout the rest oftheir lives, and many of us have
experienced something similargrowing up, whether in the
school system or with ahealthcare provider.
Weight stigma is very alive andwell and is very harmful to our
children, and we can't forgethow this is rooted in many forms
(19:31):
of health curriculum andnutrition education.
We do have some studies thatshow the impact of nutrition
curriculum in the school systemsthat are being driven by this
obesity prevention angle.
It is actually perpetuatingweight stigma which is creating
a whole other host of issues forour children, because we know
(19:53):
that children who experienceweight stigma are more likely to
experience mental health issues, including depression and
anxiety.
They're more likely to be atrisk of eating disorders and
more likely to be dealing with ahost of health complications
throughout their life.
And it really just infuriatesme that there is so much push
(20:15):
and agenda around preventingobesity while conveniently
glossing over the impact ofweight stigma on our children.
Some children are naturallygoing to be in larger bodies and
again, that doesn't definetheir health.
That doesn't define theirabilities or their wellness or
their aptitude in any sense ofthe way.
And yet, because of dietculture, this is often
(20:39):
overlooked.
Where our children's bodies aresingled out as the problem and
because of the way that we'reapproaching it, especially in
school curriculum, we'reactually seeing a whole other
host of issues arising.
We've also seen some literaturethat has shown that school care
providers, including teachersand coaches, may have lower
(20:59):
expectations of children thatare in lower bodies, which can
actually prevent them fromhelping or engaging with these
children in reaching theirpotential as a student in their
classroom or on their team.
This is very damaging as well.
So we cannot overlook theimpact of weight stigma and how
this is often perpetuated inhealth curriculum, because
(21:21):
health curriculum is rootedsystemically in weight stigma.
So I wanted to make sure that wetalked about that, because this
is not what we see at thesurface of health or nutrition
curriculum.
On the surface it can seemharmless, it can even seem
helpful, but we really need tounderstand all angles of it in
order to know the potentialimplications or effects that it
(21:44):
may be having on our children.
I wanted to give you thesethings to think about, but I
also want to end this episodewith some encouragement, because
I know it can feel again verydaunting to know that our kids
are being exposed to thesethings, and sometimes what's
challenging is feeling like wedon't have any control over it.
I know that can be reallydifficult and challenging, but I
want to give you some practicalthings to think about, but also
(22:06):
to implement in your home tohelp counteract some of the
things that your child may beexposed to at school.
When it comes to healthcurriculum and that is first
understanding that there is abig difference between nutrition
curriculum or health curriculumand food education these are
(22:28):
two different things and I dothink it's important for us to
understand the differencebetween them, especially if you
are a parent who is working onhealing your relationship with
food and wanting to do thingsdifferently with your child.
I tend to see that there'salmost a fear of talking to our
kids about food at all, becausewe're worried about saying the
(22:48):
wrong thing or worried about ourchild potentially interpreting
a message about themselves ortheir bodies based on the things
that we're saying about food orhow we're talking about food
and bodies.
So sometimes we worry aboutsaying anything at all, and this
is where I think we have agreat opportunity to integrate
food education and to reallysteer away from this health
(23:10):
curriculum.
Food education is what itsounds like, like talking to our
kids about food, where it comesfrom, how it grows, what it
looks like, how it tastes,textures, flavors all of these
things are under the umbrella offood education, and this can be
such a beautiful place toinspire and encourage curiosity
(23:31):
in a safe setting for ourchildren.
This is a stark difference fromhealth or nutrition curriculum,
which often has the hiddenagenda of making our kids
smaller or changing the way thatthey eat or changing the way
they look in their bodies.
Health curriculum often comeshand in hand with control.
(23:52):
It often is promoting externalrules about food or bodies that
can actually remove our kidsfrom their innate intuitive
eating abilities, and that ishow you can ultimately recognize
it for what it is.
Food education, on the otherhand, is intended to spark
curiosity and it should not comewith any type of hidden agenda.
(24:13):
This is something that I had theopportunity to see with my kids
over the summer.
My husband planted garden boxesfor us, and I've shared this
before, but anything I've triedto grow in the ground has died.
I just don't have a green thumb, and as much as I've tried to
garden in different ways, ithasn't been successful.
But, all that to say, myhusband was amazing in helping
(24:36):
us grow some plants and we grew.
We tried to grow differentthings and we grew some tomatoes
and green beans and spaghettisquash.
Not everything was successful.
A lot of our plants ended updying, but some of them did
survive and we did get somedifferent fruit and veggies.
But it was just fun to havethat as kind of a platform to
talk to my kids about food in aneutral way.
(24:57):
That did spark curiosity and itwas very child led, where they
were curious about planting theseed and we have to water it and
we need to give it sunlight andmake sure that we pull out the
weeds and the mushrooms that aregrowing over it, and it was
very natural.
It wasn't anything that feltforced.
It was something that they gotto participate in and, as a
result of that, learneddifferent aspects about food
(25:20):
that they had never learnedbefore.
And this is just an example.
I'm not saying that you need togarden or plant a garden in
order to teach your childrenabout food, but what I want you
to see is that there are manyopportunities to engage our
children in food education tojust help them learn about all
kinds of foods, and this is notjust about fruits and vegetables
(25:41):
.
This is about all kinds of foodand this can help them
establish positive relationshipwith food that isn't fear driven
, that isn't laced with controlor external rules.
It's really about examining allkinds of food from a curious
lens and understanding whatfeels good in your body and what
doesn't.
And again I want to make itclear it's not just about fruits
(26:01):
and veggies, because I see thisa lot on different platforms
that promote learning about food, particularly fruits and
vegetables, but there's thishidden agenda of getting our
kids to eat them.
And again, we're not abouthidden agendas here, because
those can backfire, but this canbe about anything.
I think cooking with kids canbe a great way to integrate food
education in a way that sparksthat curiosity.
(26:23):
Whether it's making pancakes orcookies or whatever it is.
That can be a natural way tosegue into different aspects
about food and how food can bean integral part of caring for
our bodies and ultimately, whenour children are free to explore
food from that curious lens,they feel better about it.
When food is promoted from aplace of hidden agenda, it often
(26:49):
comes hand in hand with fearand control, and those things
are not going to help ourchildren develop positive
associations with food or feelconfident in their bodies.
So this is something that Iwanted to share with you just to
think about.
Are there ways that you cannaturally engage in food
education.
Helping our kids develop ahealthy relationship with food
(27:12):
is not just about steering themaway from all the things that we
shouldn't be saying.
So many of us grew up hearingfood talked about in ways that
were negative, in ways that wereharmful and ways that were
shaming, and we don't want ourchildren to grow up hearing food
talked about in that same way,and for some of us, that can
cause us to clam up where wefeel like I don't know how to
(27:33):
talk about food because it wasnever talked about or discussed
in a way outside of a shamingnarrative, and so it can feel
foreign.
It can feel comfortable, it canfeel scary to think about
approaching food with ourchildren in a more neutral lens,
and this is where foodeducation can come into play,
where it's about thinkingthrough the lens of curiosity
and trust and making itsomething that feels natural,
(27:56):
not forced.
These are the things that canhelp our child naturally feel
more confident with food and notinternalize a fearful or
shaming narrative or messagingabout food or their bodies.
So I hope this was helpful andgave you some things to think
about.
I know sometimes I can rambleon and on, but I just wanted to
share some of these things withyou and just be able to explore
(28:19):
this topic with you from acritical lens where we can break
some of these things down andpeel the layers away.
And, ultimately, I just want toencourage and help you build
confidence in the approaches tofood and bodies that you're
taking in your own home, becauseI know that you're intentional
about rewriting that narrativeand you're doing such a great
job.
Thank you, as always, forspending time with me and if you
(28:41):
have any feedback or questionsthat I can answer for you, I'd
love to hear from you.
You can always connect with mevia email hello at
crystalcargiscom and I cannotwait to see you next week.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode of the Lift the
Shame podcast.
For more tips and guidance onyour mother-her journey, come
connect with me on Instagram atcrystalcargis.
(29:02):
Until next week, mama, I'll becheering you on.
Bye for now.
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