October 15, 2023 • 29 mins
Ever wonder why we're so quick to snatch that Halloween candy from our kids? What if, instead of demonizing sweets, we use them as a tool for teaching self-regulation and a healthy relationship with food? This is the intriguing conversation we unpack in today's episode, challenging the tradition of the SwitchWitch and the potential negative implications it may pose.
We expose the potential pitfalls of the Switch Witch tradition, such as fostering distrust and negative associations with food in our children. The language and strategies we use around candy consumption can significantly affect our children's perception of food. We're not just talking candy here; we're examining the broader issue of how our actions and words can influence our children's relationship with all kinds of food.
Wrapping up, we pivot towards a more positive approach to managing the Halloween candy mania. We ditch the Switch Witch in favor of legalizing candy, allowing our children to keep their treats as an expression of trust. We walk you through a free workshop on rewriting the script on Halloween sweets and even suggest how to handle the candy surplus that your kids aren't interested in eating, such as donating to our troops overseas. So join us to discover a fresh perspective on navigating the sweet-filled world of Halloween traditions.
Show Links:
- [FREE Halloween Workshop]: "Rewrite the Script on Halloween Sweets to Help Your Kids Self-Regulate Sugar!"
Questions about today's episode or do you have topic requests for future episodes? Please send your feedback via email to hello@crystalkarges.com or connect with Crystal on Instagram.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 0 (00:00):
Hey, mama, welcome back to the show.
I'm so glad that you're hereand tuning in to our mini series
as we count down to Halloween,which, at the time of this
recording, is coming up prettyquickly here in a couple weeks,
and today I wanted to focus on along time tradition that is
often used in homes as a way ofmanaging the influx of candy
(00:24):
that our children often receiveon Halloween, and that is the
SwitchWitch.
And if you're not familiarabout the SwitchWitch and what
that is, I'm gonna give you alittle bit of a background here
and also some concrete reasonsas to why you might want to
ditch the SwitchWitch andactually let your kids keep all
(00:44):
of their Halloween candy, whichI know can bring up a lot of
anxiety and stress, and I wantto just encourage you as we
think about the importance ofthese candy-centered holidays in
helping our children learn howto have a great relationship
with sweets and be able toeffectively self-regulate,
especially a high volume ofsweets and sugar.
(01:06):
These candy-centered holidays,like Halloween, are coming at a
time when sweets in general arejust highly demonized in our
culture, and predominantlybecause of diet culture and the
messages surrounding candy andsweets and a high volume of
sugar and the potential impacton our children's health.
There is so much fear mongeringaround sweets, and it can make
(01:29):
it really hard to really feellike we can trust our kids, that
we can let them have the volumeof candy that they're going to
be receiving, which makes ithard for us as parents to be
able to support them with thetools that they need to
effectively learn how tonavigate these types of
situations, because they areimportant and this is the
(01:50):
overarching theme that I wantyou to be thinking about is what
is the long-term goals that youwant for your children as they
grow up, especially in therelationship with food and how
they feel about their bodies?
We want our children to be ableto manage all different kinds of
situations with food as theygrow up, and sweets is no
exception.
(02:11):
We have to remember that welive in a world where all of
these different foods exist,including sweets, including
various forms of sugar, and nomatter how much we might try to
rigidly control or micromanagetheir sweets intake, there will
come a point in time in theirlives where we are not there to
do that and if they haven't beenallowed different experiences
(02:34):
to navigate that, to understandwhat feels best in their bodies.
It can leave them in a verychaotic situation with sweets
and food in general.
We also want to remember thateating is a very embodied
experience, meaning that ourchildren need experiences to
understand what feels good intheir bodies and what doesn't.
And if we are trying to preventthem from having certain
(02:58):
experiences around food like,for example, I'm worried that my
child might eat so much candythat they get sick if we're
constantly trying to preventthem from having situations
where they can understand whatfeels good and what doesn't,
that can make it reallydifficult for them to gather the
data and the information theyneed to know what feels good in
their body and what doesn't.
(03:19):
So we're gonna talk about thisa little bit more, because this
is something that I'vedefinitely seen gain more
popularity over the years.
I didn't actually know about theSwitchWitch until my oldest
kids were getting of the age oftrick-or-treating and Halloween
and actually interested in it,and I remember being in a group
(03:39):
of friends mom friends whomentioned that they were going
to implement the SwitchWitch intheir home and, of course, as a
new mom, I was curious what doesthat mean?
What is a SwitchWitch do?
And if you're not familiar,just as a little bit of
background.
The SwitchWitch is exactly whatit sounds like and there's
different ways that I've seenthis implemented.
(04:00):
So there is an actual book andlike witch doll that you can
purchase, kind of like the elfin the shelf, where this little
witch lives in your house andshe's essentially watching and
monitoring what your kids aredoing and watching their
behavior and are they being goodor is there bad behavior
happening which you know?
(04:20):
There can be a lot of impliedthings happening there as well
and it's kind of like yourfamily adopts the Switch and she
becomes part of your family andyou can write letters to her.
You can ask the SwitchWitch forcertain surprises or things
that you'd like, becauseultimately, what the SwitchWitch
does is replace your child'shard earned Halloween stash of
(04:44):
candy for non-edible thingstypically.
This is usually how it works, soit could be toys or clothes or
whatever your child is reallyinto.
I've also seen it implementedmore simply where there's not
necessarily a witch doll in yourhome.
It's just kind of implied likeokay, if we leave your candy out
tonight after trick or treating, the SwitchWitch is going to
(05:07):
come and take that bulk ofHalloween candy and it will be
replaced with something else,some non-edible item, usually
toys or something that yourchild is really excited about.
And there's different storiesthat I've heard different
variations of the story of theSwitchWitch, such as she needs
this high volume of candy inorder to fly across the world,
(05:30):
or different stories like thatin which kids actually can get
excited about giving up theircandy to her, and I also know
that the SwitchWitch has beenutilized in different situations
as well.
So for children that may havefood allergies and can't eat
much of the candy that they'rereceiving for trick-or-treating,
(05:51):
sometimes that's an incentiveor a way to help some of those
kiddos be able to relinquishsome of that candy.
So it's like let's pull out allof the things that your body
can't have and let's leave thesethings for the SwitchWitch, and
she will leave you something inexchange for that.
So I've definitely seen it indifferent ways.
One thing that concerns me aboutthe SwitchWitch is some of the
(06:13):
fear-mongering around candy andhow this can tie into these
anti-fat biases that we seepromoted through diet culture,
where it's like letting yourchild have candy is going to
ruin their health, it's going tocause obesity.
We can't trust them to eat thisvolume of candy, and so we have
to find a way to take it awayand let's try to make it fun.
(06:36):
There are definitely someunderlying messages and hidden
agendas applied with theSwitchWitch, which is why I do
think it's a concerning practiceor something to just examine a
little closer, especially ifyou're considering implementing
this in your home.
Now I do just wanna stress,before I talk more about this,
that I am no way implying thatif you've done this or if this
(07:00):
is a tradition in your home,that there's something wrong
with this.
I do think there is ways toimplement this tradition that
can also honor your child'sintuitive eating abilities and
giving them the experiences thatthey need to learn how to
self-regulate sweets.
I do think our agendas attachedto how we utilize some of these
strategies are really importantto examine.
(07:21):
We always want to do someself-reflection as to why am I
wanting to implement somethinglike this?
What is my ultimate goal?
And if your ultimate goal is totry to get your child to eat
less candy, or to get rid ofyour child's candy because
you're uncomfortable with it,that is something really
(07:41):
important to be aware of,because those hidden agendas
will be projected in how youimplement these strategies, and
this can come with an attachedmessage that our children can
pick up on.
So I do wanna just talk throughsome potential ways that the
SwitchWitch can backfire, and Iknow it's often done with really
(08:03):
good intention.
Nobody no parent ever does theSwitchWitch trying to hurt their
child in any way.
It's always done with goodintention.
However, what we want to thinkabout is the bigger picture, and
how is implementing thisstrategy supporting or hindering
my child's ability to develop ahealthy and positive
(08:23):
relationship with food,particularly with sweets, which,
again, our kids need.
Those experiences that are notthe norm, like a high volume of
candy, is actually a greatopportunity for your child to
learn what feels good in my bodyand what doesn't, and can be
supportive for them over thelength of their life.
(08:44):
And so I just wanna give yousome things to consider if you
are thinking about implementingthis or have been implementing
the SwitchWitch.
Here are some things toconsider.
So I just want you to thinkabout some potential reasons
where you might want to ditchthe SwitchWitch.
So first is that it can have thepotential to communicate the
wrong message.
(09:05):
Sometimes, utilizing theSwitchWitch that's kind of a
mouthful to say.
It's like a tongue twister.
It communicates the messagethat something is bad or
something is wrong with keepingor eating candy, and when kids
aren't allowed to keep theircandy stash, it does project
that subtle message thatsomething is wrong with having a
bag of candy or eating candy ingeneral.
(09:26):
And we want to remember thatour children, developmentally,
are very literal thinkers, sowhen they pick up on the message
that too much candy is bad orthat they can't be trusted with
their candy, they might come tobelieve that they are bad.
There's something inherentlywrong with them for wanting to
eat or have candy.
So this is where I thinklanguage is so important,
(09:50):
especially around Halloween andwhen we're having experiences
with this high volume of sweetsor candy.
What is our language andmessaging that we're having
around these experiences?
Are we saying things like toomuch candy is bad for you, so we
really need to leave some forthe SwitchWitch?
That is something that's moredirect.
That can potentially backfire,as our children can interpret
(10:15):
that message very literally.
So that's something to consider.
Another potential issue here isthat it can build resentment
towards caregivers, and this canbe a tricky one, because at the
heart of it, we want to bebuilding trust with our children
around food.
This is a crucial component ofour children feeling that secure
(10:37):
attachment with us as we raisethem, and we want to build a
trusting feeding relationshipwith our children in order for
them to be able to learn how totrust themselves.
This is a really crucial partof the feeding interactions that
we're having with our kids, andwhen we're making this bait
switch with our candy, this cansometimes be a huge trigger for
(10:59):
some children, depending ontheir temperament, depending on
their relationship with theirparents, and sometimes, when
kids figure out that theirparents are the ones behind the
candy-swapping fiasco, it canoften create distrust in their
caregivers around food.
And one example that I wantedto share that came to mind when
I was thinking about this was ifyou've ever seen the Jimmy
(11:22):
Kimmel YouTube pranks that heusually does every year around
Halloween, where he has parentstell their children that
overnight aftertrick-or-treating, that they ate
all their kids' Halloween candy.
So in the morning, their kidsare coming downstairs for
breakfast or whatever it is,they're looking for their candy
and their parents are prankingthem and telling them you know
(11:44):
what I ate all your Halloweencandy.
I got hungry last night and Ijust wanted to eat it and I
couldn't stop myself and I endedup eating the whole thing.
And then the parents arerecording their kids' reactions
and sending those clips in toJimmy Kimmel and he shares them
on his show and if you've everwatched it and seen these kids'
reactions it's intense.
(12:06):
But some of these kids get soangry that there's very volatile
reactions that are happeningand I do think that part of that
is the manipulation, but I alsothink part of it is that the
child didn't feel like they werepart of that decision, that
they worked so hard for thiscandy trick-or-treating all
night and now it's gone.
But there's also this pull towanting what we know that we
(12:29):
have.
It's like I know that I hadthis huge tub of candy and now
it's not there and that cancreate a lot of distrust around
food, but predominantly with thecaregiver that's involved with
it, and we want to considerthose implications.
Now with the Switch Witch itmight not feel as intense
because it feels like your childis involved in that process, or
(12:51):
they might be relinquishing itwith permission or they might be
excited about leaving thatcandy for whatever toy the
Switch Witch might leave them.
The tendency is that there'sbuyers remorse, even though your
child might seem like they'reon board once.
The excitement around what theSwitch Witch has left them has
(13:12):
dissipated, they may still belonging for the candy that they
had, and knowing that it's gonecan start to build some
resentment towards caregiversand parents.
We want to be considerate ofthat and also, again, just think
about the big picture.
We want our children to buildtrust with us as their parents,
as their caregivers, who areproviding them with food and
(13:34):
access to their preferred foods,and if they feel like we are
manipulating them somehow whenit comes to having access and
recognizing that, oh, my parentsor caregiver is the gatekeeper
of me having access to thisthing that I really want, it can
build up a lot of anger andresentment.
Another big thing here is thatit can really put candy on a
(13:54):
pedestal.
Halloween candy is alreadysomewhat of a novelty, right?
Because it's not something thatkids are used to getting all
the time, at least in thequantity that they get on
Halloween.
Now, ideally, hopefully, yourchild is getting exposure to
sweets on a year-round basis,but there's always going to be
those different specialty itemsthat they get on holidays and
(14:15):
again, the quantity that they'rereceiving in one go is a
novelty in itself.
And when they don't get thechance to fully explore it and
learn how to manage it.
It can actually elevate it on apedestal for them, making it
even more enticing and exciting.
And it's not to say thatthere's something wrong about
candy being exciting or fun orsomething that your kids are
(14:37):
looking forward to, but we don'twant it to feel like it's
something that's out of reach,which now can create a different
problem of obsessiveness orpreoccupation around sweets or
candy forming.
So an example to kind ofillustrate this is if you think
about letting your child play orintroducing a really cool or
exciting toy that they've neverplayed with before.
(14:59):
And when I think about this,this always makes me think of my
kids.
Whenever we go and visit theircousins, they're always so
stoked to play with theircousin's toys, even though a lot
of their cousin's toys aresimilar to things that they have
at home.
It's the novelty of somethingnew, of something different,
that is ramping up thatexcitement and that desire to
(15:19):
want to play with them.
And if you can imagineintroducing a toy or something
new to your child, a new toythat they've never played with
before, and you let them go atit for a few minutes and then
you took it away, your childwould likely be an
understandably so obsessed aboutfinding that toy, figuring out
where you put it, asking youincessantly about it.
(15:41):
Those are characteristics thattypically happen when we
introduce something novel butthen restrict access to it.
And this is no different thanwith candy and sweets, and
oftentimes there's an initialallowance of okay, you can have
this bag of candy, but then Ineed to take over it and I'm
going to micromanage it, andthat can feel really restrictive
(16:02):
and obsessiveness is often asymptom of a child feeling
restricted, and so this can be aside effect of approaching your
child's Halloween candy via theswitch, which route is that
you're allowing your child totemporarily have access, but
then it's taken away and there'sthat residual desire of, oh, I
still wanted that or I'm stillthinking about that, and that
(16:24):
can ramp up some obsessivenessaround candy and sweets.
And anytime there ispreoccupation or obsessiveness
with food or sweets inparticular, this can cause all
different kinds of behaviors.
So, for example, something thatwe might see if your child is
starting to become obsessivewith candy is this risk of food
(16:45):
sneaking.
So when candy is not madeaccessible or when kids know it
might be hidden away somewhere,they're more likely to develop
those food sneaking behaviorsand often that's coming from
this feeling of deprivation.
So when a child feels likethere's not this unconditional
permission from their caregiversto eat the things that they're
(17:05):
excited about having, especiallyif they're getting exposure to
them, whether around holidays orat school or around friends
this can lead to seeking outthose foods in secret, hoarding,
hiding, sneaking all the things.
That can start to create somemore issues around food.
And, of course, when a child'sprimary motive is to seek out
(17:26):
food or find sweets or candy,it's distracting them from being
a child and engaging in thethings that children should be
doing, and this is somethingthat can overall, especially
over the long term, be verydetrimental to their overall
health and wellness, which iswhy it's really important again
to keep the big picture in mind,especially when it comes to
sweets.
And, in summary, I would saythis is perhaps maybe the
(17:49):
biggest overall consequence,maybe with the switch which
approach, is that it doesn'tallow kids to learn how to self
regulate.
And, like I said, we live in aworld where all of these
different foods exist and if ourkids aren't given the chance to
learn how to eat a variety offoods, including candy, they
won't learn how to self regulatean amount that feels best for
(18:12):
their bodies.
And this is where it getsreally challenging for us as
parents, because we tend toapproach food with our children
in a manner of what makes usfeel better.
So oftentimes it can feeldistressing to watch your child
dig through an entire bag ofcandy and pull out several
pieces or eat several pieces,and you might find that that
(18:35):
feels distressing and there'sthings coming up for you and now
you want to try to take control, and often that comes with
micromanaging and it's reallydifficult to micromanage without
causing your child to feelrestricted and that is going to
lead to a separation from innateintuitive eating abilities.
If your child is constantlyconcerned or worried that
(18:57):
they're not able to access thefoods that they enjoy, then
they're more likely to alwayseat those foods whenever they're
available, simply for fear ofnot knowing when the next time
is that they'll be available tothem.
So it's like kids develop thatkind of faux mentality around
sweets, where whenever they'rethere, they're likely to eat
(19:17):
them and start to potentiallyovereat them because they've
never had opportunities to learnhow to self regulate, but also
if they can't trust that thosefoods are regularly available
and part of their routine withfood.
It just makes them moredesirable when they are
presented to them.
So, considering all of thesedifferent potential ways that
(19:38):
the switch which might backfire,what can you do instead,
especially if you are wantingyour children to learn how to
self regulate sweets and justhave an overall positive
relationship with food and justto make memories around the
holidays that aren't associatedwith stress around food or
engaging in power struggles,especially with sweets, like all
(19:58):
of those things, can justdampen the holidays and the joy
that we should be having withour kids around food and make it
less about being able toconnect with them and actually
enjoy them, because we'reconstantly worried about what
they're eating, how much they'reeating, and you don't have to
be the food, please, during theholidays, especially when there
are more sweets around.
You can learn how to trust yourchildren and also give them the
(20:21):
opportunities they need to beable to feel what feels best in
their bodies.
So if you're not doing thisswitch, which?
What approach can you take?
I would say step one islegalize candy in your home.
You want to let your childrenfeel that permission to eat
their candy and enjoy it withouta sideserve of guilt or shame.
(20:42):
This can be easier said thandone, especially if you have had
a difficult relationship withfood, or sweets in particular.
I know I've heard from manyparents that it's triggering or
can feel distressing to let yourchild have that volume or that
amount of sweets in your home,because maybe you're not
allowing yourself to eat sweetsand maybe you feel like I don't
(21:03):
have enough control or I won'tbe able to stop myself from
eating these things and some ofthose fears can become projected
onto your child and I just wantyou to be able to recognize
that and just have compassionfor yourself through this,
because so often we want to dothings for our children that we
haven't done for ourselves andit can be difficult to show up
for them in these ways whenwe're still learning how to do
(21:24):
these things for ourselves.
So if you find it difficult togive yourself permission to eat
things that you like and enjoy,like sweets, or if sweets have
always felt like a demonizedpart of your life, it can be
challenging to promote thismessage that you trust your
child to eat or that you'regiving them full permission.
However, by letting go of someof the rules or stipulations
(21:45):
around sweets, that can start tohelp you take steps towards
that, so that can be a greatplace to start.
That can look like allowingyour child to have sweets or
pieces of their Halloween candy,frequently with meals and
snacks, letting them pick outwhat they want, allowing it to
be part of their meals withoutany stipulations attached, so
not requiring that they eatcertain amounts of food or try
(22:08):
bites of certain things beforethey're allowed to eat their
sweets.
These are all ways that you canstart to normalize sweets and
legalize them in your home sothat there's not a power
attached to them.
And certainly, by just allowingyour child to keep their candy
sends a very important messageto them that you trust them.
You're allowing them theexperiences that they need to
(22:30):
figure it out to eat them.
You're not trying to get rid ofthem or somehow manipulate how
many pieces they have.
All of these ways ofapproaching candy do communicate
the message to your child thatyou trust them and that you are
learning to give them the fullpermission they need to eat them
and explore what feels good intheir body and what doesn't.
(22:51):
And if you are interested in amore specific step-by-step game
plan with Halloween candy, Iwould love to help support you
with this.
I know sometimes, when you'reletting go of old habits or old
behaviors or approaches aroundfood and you're wanting to do
something different for yourchildren, sometimes it can be
hard to know where to start.
Or now, what do I do?
(23:11):
If you're letting go of theswitchwich and you want your
kids to be able to keep theircandy, that can also feel
stressful and overwhelming, andso I would love to help you
through this.
I'm actually hosting a freeworkshop here at the end of the
month on how to rewrite thescript on Halloween sweets to
help your kids self-regulatesugar, and I will be walking you
through a step-by-step gameplan to help you, from the day
(23:34):
of trigger treating to the day'sfollowing on what you can do to
support your child in a waythat does offer some flexible
structure and boundaries butultimately helps them be able to
learn how to self-regulate ahigher influx and volume of
sweets.
I will put a link to thatworkshop in the show notes for
you and would love for you tosign up and snag a seat so that
(23:55):
we can walk through thistogether.
Lastly, I just want to close onsome variations or modifications
to the switchwich that you cantake if this is something that
you still want to utilize insome shape or form.
I've seen many differentvariations of this, and the key
here is to understand first.
What is your agenda?
What is your motive behindimplementing this approach to
(24:18):
food or sweets in your home?
If there is any aspect of yourmotive that has to do with
limiting how much candy yourchild eats, then it may be worth
rethinking your strategy, andit takes a lot of self-awareness
to be able to own that.
So kudos, mama, if you'refinding yourself in that space,
I also just want to encourageyou to do what's best for your
(24:38):
family.
Every family is different andit's important to do what works
for your family.
I know that for some families,especially if you have a child
that has food allergies, thatsometimes the switchwich is a
way to help your child be ableto relinquish some of the
candies that they might begetting over Halloween that are
unsafe for their body.
And I know that just having achild with food allergies can
(25:00):
present so many challenges,especially around the holidays,
and having something like theswitchwich can be helpful in
these situations.
Obviously, you're doing that tokeep your child safe, to
protect them from foods that cantrigger an allergic reaction in
their body.
I've also seen situations wheremaybe your child just has
excess candy and they're justnot into it, and this is where
(25:21):
you can perhaps tell your childokay, once you're done with your
candy, you've taken all thethings that you've wanted.
If there's any extra candy thatyou don't want, you can leave
that out for the switchwich andshe can leave you some kind of
present or toy in exchange forthat.
I think the key is to reallyfollow your child's lead in
those situations and see howthey respond to that.
(25:44):
Ultimately, you want to thinkabout approaching it in a way
that involves your child ratherthan doing something behind
their backs that they're unawareof or that can come across as
manipulative.
So, as an example, at my kid'sschool they do collect extra
candy or unwanted candy over thecourse of a couple of weeks
after Halloween to ship totroops overseas, and this is a
(26:07):
cause that I can definitely getbehind to help spread a little
holiday fun and love to ourmilitary.
And most of the times my kidsdon't really ever eat their
entire stash of Halloween candy.
They maybe get through abouthalf of it, if even and we often
tend to have a lot of extracandy lying around the house,
but I do try to have aconversation with them about
(26:28):
whether or not they'd like tokeep their extra candy and if
they'd like to donate extras toother people.
I also sometimes just buy extrabags of candy for them to take
to school and donate, so itdoesn't put that pressure on
them to have to relinquish anypart of their stash if they're
not ready to do so, and we liketo make them a part of that
(26:48):
conversation and ultimatelyallow them to be the ones to
make the decision so that itdoesn't feel like something that
they were tricked into orpressured into doing and that
tends to go over much better.
I've also seen variations wherethe switchwich might leave,
instead of a toy, other ediblecandies or sweets that may work
(27:11):
better for your child.
So, for example, if you have ayounger child and you want to
avoid any candies or sweets thatcould potentially be a choking
hazard, you can utilize a switchwhich, in that way where you're
swapping out some of thosecandies but you're substituting
them essentially for otherthings that can be safer for
them.
And the same approach can alsobe used for a child that has
food allergies, where you'rehelping them swap out any
(27:34):
candies that could potentiallybe unsafe for things that are
safe for them.
So, as you can see, there aremany variations and ways to
approach this, and I just wantto encourage you to do what
works best for your family, andI also just want you to be armed
with the information around thepotential impact of some of the
different approaches that areout there that we may take when
(27:57):
it comes to how we feed our kids, so that you can feel informed
about whatever route you chooseto go.
I hope this was helpful for you.
I would love to hear from youif you've ever utilized this
approach.
If you have found differentways of integrating it in your
home, definitely feel free toreach out hello at
crystalcargiscom.
I'm always eager to hear fromyou and to learn about how I can
(28:19):
better support you.
And just a friendly reminderthat we will have a free live
workshop all about Halloweencandy and helping support you
and coming up with a great gameplan that can give you that
step-by-step approach tohopefully take out some of that
stress and angst that cancommonly come up around kids and
Halloween candy.
So the link to that class is inthe show notes for you.
(28:42):
Definitely snag your seat and Ihope to see you in there.
Thank you, as always, forjoining me, and I can't wait to
connect with you again next week.
Hey, mama, welcome back to the show.
I'm so glad that you're hereand tuning in to our mini series
as we count down to Halloween,which, at the time of this
recording, is coming up prettyquickly here in a couple weeks,
and today I wanted to focus on along time tradition that is
often used in homes as a way ofmanaging the influx of candy
(00:24):
that our children often receiveon Halloween, and that is the
SwitchWitch.
And if you're not familiarabout the SwitchWitch and what
that is, I'm gonna give you alittle bit of a background here
and also some concrete reasonsas to why you might want to
ditch the SwitchWitch andactually let your kids keep all
(00:44):
of their Halloween candy, whichI know can bring up a lot of
anxiety and stress, and I wantto just encourage you as we
think about the importance ofthese candy-centered holidays in
helping our children learn howto have a great relationship
with sweets and be able toeffectively self-regulate,
especially a high volume ofsweets and sugar.
(01:06):
These candy-centered holidays,like Halloween, are coming at a
time when sweets in general arejust highly demonized in our
culture, and predominantlybecause of diet culture and the
messages surrounding candy andsweets and a high volume of
sugar and the potential impacton our children's health.
There is so much fear mongeringaround sweets, and it can make
(01:29):
it really hard to really feellike we can trust our kids, that
we can let them have the volumeof candy that they're going to
be receiving, which makes ithard for us as parents to be
able to support them with thetools that they need to
effectively learn how tonavigate these types of
situations, because they areimportant and this is the
(01:50):
overarching theme that I wantyou to be thinking about is what
is the long-term goals that youwant for your children as they
grow up, especially in therelationship with food and how
they feel about their bodies?
We want our children to be ableto manage all different kinds of
situations with food as theygrow up, and sweets is no
exception.
(02:11):
We have to remember that welive in a world where all of
these different foods exist,including sweets, including
various forms of sugar, and nomatter how much we might try to
rigidly control or micromanagetheir sweets intake, there will
come a point in time in theirlives where we are not there to
do that and if they haven't beenallowed different experiences
(02:34):
to navigate that, to understandwhat feels best in their bodies.
It can leave them in a verychaotic situation with sweets
and food in general.
We also want to remember thateating is a very embodied
experience, meaning that ourchildren need experiences to
understand what feels good intheir bodies and what doesn't.
And if we are trying to preventthem from having certain
(02:58):
experiences around food like,for example, I'm worried that my
child might eat so much candythat they get sick if we're
constantly trying to preventthem from having situations
where they can understand whatfeels good and what doesn't,
that can make it reallydifficult for them to gather the
data and the information theyneed to know what feels good in
their body and what doesn't.
(03:19):
So we're gonna talk about thisa little bit more, because this
is something that I'vedefinitely seen gain more
popularity over the years.
I didn't actually know about theSwitchWitch until my oldest
kids were getting of the age oftrick-or-treating and Halloween
and actually interested in it,and I remember being in a group
(03:39):
of friends mom friends whomentioned that they were going
to implement the SwitchWitch intheir home and, of course, as a
new mom, I was curious what doesthat mean?
What is a SwitchWitch do?
And if you're not familiar,just as a little bit of
background.
The SwitchWitch is exactly whatit sounds like and there's
different ways that I've seenthis implemented.
(04:00):
So there is an actual book andlike witch doll that you can
purchase, kind of like the elfin the shelf, where this little
witch lives in your house andshe's essentially watching and
monitoring what your kids aredoing and watching their
behavior and are they being goodor is there bad behavior
happening which you know?
(04:20):
There can be a lot of impliedthings happening there as well
and it's kind of like yourfamily adopts the Switch and she
becomes part of your family andyou can write letters to her.
You can ask the SwitchWitch forcertain surprises or things
that you'd like, becauseultimately, what the SwitchWitch
does is replace your child'shard earned Halloween stash of
(04:44):
candy for non-edible thingstypically.
This is usually how it works, soit could be toys or clothes or
whatever your child is reallyinto.
I've also seen it implementedmore simply where there's not
necessarily a witch doll in yourhome.
It's just kind of implied likeokay, if we leave your candy out
tonight after trick or treating, the SwitchWitch is going to
(05:07):
come and take that bulk ofHalloween candy and it will be
replaced with something else,some non-edible item, usually
toys or something that yourchild is really excited about.
And there's different storiesthat I've heard different
variations of the story of theSwitchWitch, such as she needs
this high volume of candy inorder to fly across the world,
(05:30):
or different stories like thatin which kids actually can get
excited about giving up theircandy to her, and I also know
that the SwitchWitch has beenutilized in different situations
as well.
So for children that may havefood allergies and can't eat
much of the candy that they'rereceiving for trick-or-treating,
(05:51):
sometimes that's an incentiveor a way to help some of those
kiddos be able to relinquishsome of that candy.
So it's like let's pull out allof the things that your body
can't have and let's leave thesethings for the SwitchWitch, and
she will leave you something inexchange for that.
So I've definitely seen it indifferent ways.
One thing that concerns me aboutthe SwitchWitch is some of the
(06:13):
fear-mongering around candy andhow this can tie into these
anti-fat biases that we seepromoted through diet culture,
where it's like letting yourchild have candy is going to
ruin their health, it's going tocause obesity.
We can't trust them to eat thisvolume of candy, and so we have
to find a way to take it awayand let's try to make it fun.
(06:36):
There are definitely someunderlying messages and hidden
agendas applied with theSwitchWitch, which is why I do
think it's a concerning practiceor something to just examine a
little closer, especially ifyou're considering implementing
this in your home.
Now I do just wanna stress,before I talk more about this,
that I am no way implying thatif you've done this or if this
(07:00):
is a tradition in your home,that there's something wrong
with this.
I do think there is ways toimplement this tradition that
can also honor your child'sintuitive eating abilities and
giving them the experiences thatthey need to learn how to
self-regulate sweets.
I do think our agendas attachedto how we utilize some of these
strategies are really importantto examine.
(07:21):
We always want to do someself-reflection as to why am I
wanting to implement somethinglike this?
What is my ultimate goal?
And if your ultimate goal is totry to get your child to eat
less candy, or to get rid ofyour child's candy because
you're uncomfortable with it,that is something really
(07:41):
important to be aware of,because those hidden agendas
will be projected in how youimplement these strategies, and
this can come with an attachedmessage that our children can
pick up on.
So I do wanna just talk throughsome potential ways that the
SwitchWitch can backfire, and Iknow it's often done with really
(08:03):
good intention.
Nobody no parent ever does theSwitchWitch trying to hurt their
child in any way.
It's always done with goodintention.
However, what we want to thinkabout is the bigger picture, and
how is implementing thisstrategy supporting or hindering
my child's ability to develop ahealthy and positive
(08:23):
relationship with food,particularly with sweets, which,
again, our kids need.
Those experiences that are notthe norm, like a high volume of
candy, is actually a greatopportunity for your child to
learn what feels good in my bodyand what doesn't, and can be
supportive for them over thelength of their life.
(08:44):
And so I just wanna give yousome things to consider if you
are thinking about implementingthis or have been implementing
the SwitchWitch.
Here are some things toconsider.
So I just want you to thinkabout some potential reasons
where you might want to ditchthe SwitchWitch.
So first is that it can have thepotential to communicate the
wrong message.
(09:05):
Sometimes, utilizing theSwitchWitch that's kind of a
mouthful to say.
It's like a tongue twister.
It communicates the messagethat something is bad or
something is wrong with keepingor eating candy, and when kids
aren't allowed to keep theircandy stash, it does project
that subtle message thatsomething is wrong with having a
bag of candy or eating candy ingeneral.
(09:26):
And we want to remember thatour children, developmentally,
are very literal thinkers, sowhen they pick up on the message
that too much candy is bad orthat they can't be trusted with
their candy, they might come tobelieve that they are bad.
There's something inherentlywrong with them for wanting to
eat or have candy.
So this is where I thinklanguage is so important,
(09:50):
especially around Halloween andwhen we're having experiences
with this high volume of sweetsor candy.
What is our language andmessaging that we're having
around these experiences?
Are we saying things like toomuch candy is bad for you, so we
really need to leave some forthe SwitchWitch?
That is something that's moredirect.
That can potentially backfire,as our children can interpret
(10:15):
that message very literally.
So that's something to consider.
Another potential issue here isthat it can build resentment
towards caregivers, and this canbe a tricky one, because at the
heart of it, we want to bebuilding trust with our children
around food.
This is a crucial component ofour children feeling that secure
(10:37):
attachment with us as we raisethem, and we want to build a
trusting feeding relationshipwith our children in order for
them to be able to learn how totrust themselves.
This is a really crucial partof the feeding interactions that
we're having with our kids, andwhen we're making this bait
switch with our candy, this cansometimes be a huge trigger for
(10:59):
some children, depending ontheir temperament, depending on
their relationship with theirparents, and sometimes, when
kids figure out that theirparents are the ones behind the
candy-swapping fiasco, it canoften create distrust in their
caregivers around food.
And one example that I wantedto share that came to mind when
I was thinking about this was ifyou've ever seen the Jimmy
(11:22):
Kimmel YouTube pranks that heusually does every year around
Halloween, where he has parentstell their children that
overnight aftertrick-or-treating, that they ate
all their kids' Halloween candy.
So in the morning, their kidsare coming downstairs for
breakfast or whatever it is,they're looking for their candy
and their parents are prankingthem and telling them you know
(11:44):
what I ate all your Halloweencandy.
I got hungry last night and Ijust wanted to eat it and I
couldn't stop myself and I endedup eating the whole thing.
And then the parents arerecording their kids' reactions
and sending those clips in toJimmy Kimmel and he shares them
on his show and if you've everwatched it and seen these kids'
reactions it's intense.
(12:06):
But some of these kids get soangry that there's very volatile
reactions that are happeningand I do think that part of that
is the manipulation, but I alsothink part of it is that the
child didn't feel like they werepart of that decision, that
they worked so hard for thiscandy trick-or-treating all
night and now it's gone.
But there's also this pull towanting what we know that we
(12:29):
have.
It's like I know that I hadthis huge tub of candy and now
it's not there and that cancreate a lot of distrust around
food, but predominantly with thecaregiver that's involved with
it, and we want to considerthose implications.
Now with the Switch Witch itmight not feel as intense
because it feels like your childis involved in that process, or
(12:51):
they might be relinquishing itwith permission or they might be
excited about leaving thatcandy for whatever toy the
Switch Witch might leave them.
The tendency is that there'sbuyers remorse, even though your
child might seem like they'reon board once.
The excitement around what theSwitch Witch has left them has
(13:12):
dissipated, they may still belonging for the candy that they
had, and knowing that it's gonecan start to build some
resentment towards caregiversand parents.
We want to be considerate ofthat and also, again, just think
about the big picture.
We want our children to buildtrust with us as their parents,
as their caregivers, who areproviding them with food and
(13:34):
access to their preferred foods,and if they feel like we are
manipulating them somehow whenit comes to having access and
recognizing that, oh, my parentsor caregiver is the gatekeeper
of me having access to thisthing that I really want, it can
build up a lot of anger andresentment.
Another big thing here is thatit can really put candy on a
(13:54):
pedestal.
Halloween candy is alreadysomewhat of a novelty, right?
Because it's not something thatkids are used to getting all
the time, at least in thequantity that they get on
Halloween.
Now, ideally, hopefully, yourchild is getting exposure to
sweets on a year-round basis,but there's always going to be
those different specialty itemsthat they get on holidays and
(14:15):
again, the quantity that they'rereceiving in one go is a
novelty in itself.
And when they don't get thechance to fully explore it and
learn how to manage it.
It can actually elevate it on apedestal for them, making it
even more enticing and exciting.
And it's not to say thatthere's something wrong about
candy being exciting or fun orsomething that your kids are
(14:37):
looking forward to, but we don'twant it to feel like it's
something that's out of reach,which now can create a different
problem of obsessiveness orpreoccupation around sweets or
candy forming.
So an example to kind ofillustrate this is if you think
about letting your child play orintroducing a really cool or
exciting toy that they've neverplayed with before.
(14:59):
And when I think about this,this always makes me think of my
kids.
Whenever we go and visit theircousins, they're always so
stoked to play with theircousin's toys, even though a lot
of their cousin's toys aresimilar to things that they have
at home.
It's the novelty of somethingnew, of something different,
that is ramping up thatexcitement and that desire to
(15:19):
want to play with them.
And if you can imagineintroducing a toy or something
new to your child, a new toythat they've never played with
before, and you let them go atit for a few minutes and then
you took it away, your childwould likely be an
understandably so obsessed aboutfinding that toy, figuring out
where you put it, asking youincessantly about it.
(15:41):
Those are characteristics thattypically happen when we
introduce something novel butthen restrict access to it.
And this is no different thanwith candy and sweets, and
oftentimes there's an initialallowance of okay, you can have
this bag of candy, but then Ineed to take over it and I'm
going to micromanage it, andthat can feel really restrictive
(16:02):
and obsessiveness is often asymptom of a child feeling
restricted, and so this can be aside effect of approaching your
child's Halloween candy via theswitch, which route is that
you're allowing your child totemporarily have access, but
then it's taken away and there'sthat residual desire of, oh, I
still wanted that or I'm stillthinking about that, and that
(16:24):
can ramp up some obsessivenessaround candy and sweets.
And anytime there ispreoccupation or obsessiveness
with food or sweets inparticular, this can cause all
different kinds of behaviors.
So, for example, something thatwe might see if your child is
starting to become obsessivewith candy is this risk of food
(16:45):
sneaking.
So when candy is not madeaccessible or when kids know it
might be hidden away somewhere,they're more likely to develop
those food sneaking behaviorsand often that's coming from
this feeling of deprivation.
So when a child feels likethere's not this unconditional
permission from their caregiversto eat the things that they're
(17:05):
excited about having, especiallyif they're getting exposure to
them, whether around holidays orat school or around friends
this can lead to seeking outthose foods in secret, hoarding,
hiding, sneaking all the things.
That can start to create somemore issues around food.
And, of course, when a child'sprimary motive is to seek out
(17:26):
food or find sweets or candy,it's distracting them from being
a child and engaging in thethings that children should be
doing, and this is somethingthat can overall, especially
over the long term, be verydetrimental to their overall
health and wellness, which iswhy it's really important again
to keep the big picture in mind,especially when it comes to
sweets.
And, in summary, I would saythis is perhaps maybe the
(17:49):
biggest overall consequence,maybe with the switch which
approach, is that it doesn'tallow kids to learn how to self
regulate.
And, like I said, we live in aworld where all of these
different foods exist and if ourkids aren't given the chance to
learn how to eat a variety offoods, including candy, they
won't learn how to self regulatean amount that feels best for
(18:12):
their bodies.
And this is where it getsreally challenging for us as
parents, because we tend toapproach food with our children
in a manner of what makes usfeel better.
So oftentimes it can feeldistressing to watch your child
dig through an entire bag ofcandy and pull out several
pieces or eat several pieces,and you might find that that
(18:35):
feels distressing and there'sthings coming up for you and now
you want to try to take control, and often that comes with
micromanaging and it's reallydifficult to micromanage without
causing your child to feelrestricted and that is going to
lead to a separation from innateintuitive eating abilities.
If your child is constantlyconcerned or worried that
(18:57):
they're not able to access thefoods that they enjoy, then
they're more likely to alwayseat those foods whenever they're
available, simply for fear ofnot knowing when the next time
is that they'll be available tothem.
So it's like kids develop thatkind of faux mentality around
sweets, where whenever they'rethere, they're likely to eat
(19:17):
them and start to potentiallyovereat them because they've
never had opportunities to learnhow to self regulate, but also
if they can't trust that thosefoods are regularly available
and part of their routine withfood.
It just makes them moredesirable when they are
presented to them.
So, considering all of thesedifferent potential ways that
(19:38):
the switch which might backfire,what can you do instead,
especially if you are wantingyour children to learn how to
self regulate sweets and justhave an overall positive
relationship with food and justto make memories around the
holidays that aren't associatedwith stress around food or
engaging in power struggles,especially with sweets, like all
(19:58):
of those things, can justdampen the holidays and the joy
that we should be having withour kids around food and make it
less about being able toconnect with them and actually
enjoy them, because we'reconstantly worried about what
they're eating, how much they'reeating, and you don't have to
be the food, please, during theholidays, especially when there
are more sweets around.
You can learn how to trust yourchildren and also give them the
(20:21):
opportunities they need to beable to feel what feels best in
their bodies.
So if you're not doing thisswitch, which?
What approach can you take?
I would say step one islegalize candy in your home.
You want to let your childrenfeel that permission to eat
their candy and enjoy it withouta sideserve of guilt or shame.
(20:42):
This can be easier said thandone, especially if you have had
a difficult relationship withfood, or sweets in particular.
I know I've heard from manyparents that it's triggering or
can feel distressing to let yourchild have that volume or that
amount of sweets in your home,because maybe you're not
allowing yourself to eat sweetsand maybe you feel like I don't
(21:03):
have enough control or I won'tbe able to stop myself from
eating these things and some ofthose fears can become projected
onto your child and I just wantyou to be able to recognize
that and just have compassionfor yourself through this,
because so often we want to dothings for our children that we
haven't done for ourselves andit can be difficult to show up
for them in these ways whenwe're still learning how to do
(21:24):
these things for ourselves.
So if you find it difficult togive yourself permission to eat
things that you like and enjoy,like sweets, or if sweets have
always felt like a demonizedpart of your life, it can be
challenging to promote thismessage that you trust your
child to eat or that you'regiving them full permission.
However, by letting go of someof the rules or stipulations
(21:45):
around sweets, that can start tohelp you take steps towards
that, so that can be a greatplace to start.
That can look like allowingyour child to have sweets or
pieces of their Halloween candy,frequently with meals and
snacks, letting them pick outwhat they want, allowing it to
be part of their meals withoutany stipulations attached, so
not requiring that they eatcertain amounts of food or try
(22:08):
bites of certain things beforethey're allowed to eat their
sweets.
These are all ways that you canstart to normalize sweets and
legalize them in your home sothat there's not a power
attached to them.
And certainly, by just allowingyour child to keep their candy
sends a very important messageto them that you trust them.
You're allowing them theexperiences that they need to
(22:30):
figure it out to eat them.
You're not trying to get rid ofthem or somehow manipulate how
many pieces they have.
All of these ways ofapproaching candy do communicate
the message to your child thatyou trust them and that you are
learning to give them the fullpermission they need to eat them
and explore what feels good intheir body and what doesn't.
(22:51):
And if you are interested in amore specific step-by-step game
plan with Halloween candy, Iwould love to help support you
with this.
I know sometimes, when you'reletting go of old habits or old
behaviors or approaches aroundfood and you're wanting to do
something different for yourchildren, sometimes it can be
hard to know where to start.
Or now, what do I do?
(23:11):
If you're letting go of theswitchwich and you want your
kids to be able to keep theircandy, that can also feel
stressful and overwhelming, andso I would love to help you
through this.
I'm actually hosting a freeworkshop here at the end of the
month on how to rewrite thescript on Halloween sweets to
help your kids self-regulatesugar, and I will be walking you
through a step-by-step gameplan to help you, from the day
(23:34):
of trigger treating to the day'sfollowing on what you can do to
support your child in a waythat does offer some flexible
structure and boundaries butultimately helps them be able to
learn how to self-regulate ahigher influx and volume of
sweets.
I will put a link to thatworkshop in the show notes for
you and would love for you tosign up and snag a seat so that
(23:55):
we can walk through thistogether.
Lastly, I just want to close onsome variations or modifications
to the switchwich that you cantake if this is something that
you still want to utilize insome shape or form.
I've seen many differentvariations of this, and the key
here is to understand first.
What is your agenda?
What is your motive behindimplementing this approach to
(24:18):
food or sweets in your home?
If there is any aspect of yourmotive that has to do with
limiting how much candy yourchild eats, then it may be worth
rethinking your strategy, andit takes a lot of self-awareness
to be able to own that.
So kudos, mama, if you'refinding yourself in that space,
I also just want to encourageyou to do what's best for your
(24:38):
family.
Every family is different andit's important to do what works
for your family.
I know that for some families,especially if you have a child
that has food allergies, thatsometimes the switchwich is a
way to help your child be ableto relinquish some of the
candies that they might begetting over Halloween that are
unsafe for their body.
And I know that just having achild with food allergies can
(25:00):
present so many challenges,especially around the holidays,
and having something like theswitchwich can be helpful in
these situations.
Obviously, you're doing that tokeep your child safe, to
protect them from foods that cantrigger an allergic reaction in
their body.
I've also seen situations wheremaybe your child just has
excess candy and they're justnot into it, and this is where
(25:21):
you can perhaps tell your childokay, once you're done with your
candy, you've taken all thethings that you've wanted.
If there's any extra candy thatyou don't want, you can leave
that out for the switchwich andshe can leave you some kind of
present or toy in exchange forthat.
I think the key is to reallyfollow your child's lead in
those situations and see howthey respond to that.
(25:44):
Ultimately, you want to thinkabout approaching it in a way
that involves your child ratherthan doing something behind
their backs that they're unawareof or that can come across as
manipulative.
So, as an example, at my kid'sschool they do collect extra
candy or unwanted candy over thecourse of a couple of weeks
after Halloween to ship totroops overseas, and this is a
(26:07):
cause that I can definitely getbehind to help spread a little
holiday fun and love to ourmilitary.
And most of the times my kidsdon't really ever eat their
entire stash of Halloween candy.
They maybe get through abouthalf of it, if even and we often
tend to have a lot of extracandy lying around the house,
but I do try to have aconversation with them about
(26:28):
whether or not they'd like tokeep their extra candy and if
they'd like to donate extras toother people.
I also sometimes just buy extrabags of candy for them to take
to school and donate, so itdoesn't put that pressure on
them to have to relinquish anypart of their stash if they're
not ready to do so, and we liketo make them a part of that
(26:48):
conversation and ultimatelyallow them to be the ones to
make the decision so that itdoesn't feel like something that
they were tricked into orpressured into doing and that
tends to go over much better.
I've also seen variations wherethe switchwich might leave,
instead of a toy, other ediblecandies or sweets that may work
(27:11):
better for your child.
So, for example, if you have ayounger child and you want to
avoid any candies or sweets thatcould potentially be a choking
hazard, you can utilize a switchwhich, in that way where you're
swapping out some of thosecandies but you're substituting
them essentially for otherthings that can be safer for
them.
And the same approach can alsobe used for a child that has
food allergies, where you'rehelping them swap out any
(27:34):
candies that could potentiallybe unsafe for things that are
safe for them.
So, as you can see, there aremany variations and ways to
approach this, and I just wantto encourage you to do what
works best for your family, andI also just want you to be armed
with the information around thepotential impact of some of the
different approaches that areout there that we may take when
(27:57):
it comes to how we feed our kids, so that you can feel informed
about whatever route you chooseto go.
I hope this was helpful for you.
I would love to hear from youif you've ever utilized this
approach.
If you have found differentways of integrating it in your
home, definitely feel free toreach out hello at
crystalcargiscom.
I'm always eager to hear fromyou and to learn about how I can
(28:19):
better support you.
And just a friendly reminderthat we will have a free live
workshop all about Halloweencandy and helping support you
and coming up with a great gameplan that can give you that
step-by-step approach tohopefully take out some of that
stress and angst that cancommonly come up around kids and
Halloween candy.
So the link to that class is inthe show notes for you.
(28:42):
Definitely snag your seat and Ihope to see you in there.
Thank you, as always, forjoining me, and I can't wait to
connect with you again next week.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.