September 9, 2023 • 36 mins
Overwhelmed with the daunting task of packing your child's school lunch? Fear not, we're here to take on this challenge together. Equipped with tried-and-true techniques from my own experience and work with clients, this episode is a goldmine of practical advice to help you navigate the school year with a picky eater.
First, we share a simple and fool-proof approach to assembling school lunches that are nutritious and enjoyable. We emphasize the three Ps - packaged items, protein and produce. Let's ditch any pressure or guilt associated with feeding our children and instead, focus on creating a relaxed and positive meal experience. Additionally, we reveal the perks of involving your child in the lunch-packing process. It not only makes the task fun and educational but also offers an opportunity to introduce varied produce options in an appealing way.
Lastly, we address the importance of being responsive to our children's food interests and incorporating them into their school lunches. No food should be off-limits or put on a pedestal. We also highlight potential red flags in their eating habits at school. Tune in to learn how to build a positive food environment, set effective boundaries, and make sure there are healthy snacks to fill the gaps between meals. Together, let's ensure a great school year for our children!
Shownotes Links:
Questions about today's episode or do you have topic requests for future episodes? Please send your feedback via email to hello@crystalkarges.com or connect with Crystal on Instagram.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey there, mama, you're listening to the Lift the
Shame podcast.
I'm your host, crystal, mama ofFive and your family's
intuitive eating dietitian, hereto help you cut through the
diet culture clutter so you canenjoy freedom with food as a
family.
I'm on a mission to help youend the generational legacy of
diet culture in your home so youcan experience motherhood free
(00:22):
from food guilt and body shame.
Listen in weekly for guidanceon how you can ditch diet
culture, heal your relationshipwith food in your body and
confidently raise intuitiveeaters.
Let's dive in and lift theshame together.
Hey, mama, welcome back to theshow.
I'm so glad that you're hereand at the time of this
(00:42):
recording we are full swing andback to school season, and I bet
that you probably are too, so Ihope that that's been going
well.
I know it's always a transition, no matter what ages that you
might be parenting.
Today and over the last fewweeks we have been delving into
some deeper layers around pickyeating, and over the next few
(01:04):
weeks I want to start a newseries around back to school
topics.
So today's episode is going tobe a little bit of overlap
between two of these topics, andthat has to do with how to
support your child who may bedealing with selective eating
when it comes to eating atschool.
Selective eating or pickyeating can be tough to navigate
(01:26):
at home and you may also bedealing with some fears or
uncertainty about your childeating at school.
So, whether your child iseating a school provided lunch
or if you're packing theirlunches, sometimes that
different environment can bemore challenging for a picky
eater.
Our last few episodes on pickyeating have definitely looked at
(01:46):
some of the deeper piecesconnected to how we feel about
our kids who might be moreselective with food, and those
topics are definitely importantto consider how we're
approaching and showing up withthem in our feeding relationship
, and today I'm hoping that Ican just touch on some practical
tips and applications andstrategies to help you as you're
(02:07):
considering supporting yourchild who may be more selective
with food as they go to school.
So, as a reminder, I have twopicky eaters myself.
One is currently 11.
One is seven, and a lot of thethings that I'm sharing are
things that have come from mylived experience in terms of
mothering my picky eaters andlearning how to support them,
(02:30):
especially as they go to school,and some of these things are
also just things that I'veexperienced and navigated with
clients of mine who are nervoussometimes about sending their
child to school and afraid thatthey may not eat anything or
having their child come homewith a full lunch box and
wondering how on earth did mykid make it through the day
(02:50):
today without eating any food?
And all these things can bereally hard and you want to be
able to support your child toget what they need and eat in a
manner that feels safe andsupportive to them.
Now, when we're thinking about aschool setting, this can be
different for all kids.
I've seen many differentscenarios.
I've seen sometimes that beingin a school setting where kids
(03:12):
have peers their age who arealso eating different foods or
having low pressure exposures toeating and trying different
things.
Sometimes they're in an eatingenvironment that may feel more
relaxing to them and that canhave an effect on their appetite
.
So I have seen in somescenarios where kids tend to
(03:32):
maybe do a little bit betterwith eating at school or in
their school settings.
I've also seen, on the otherhand, where school can be harder
and sometimes we see pickyeating behaviors ramping up in a
school setting, and that can befor different reasons too.
Sometimes there's just moregoing on in the environment.
Kids are more distracted.
They're busy playing withfriends and engaging in
(03:54):
different activities thatthey're enjoying and food feels
secondary to them or it feelslike an interruption of other
things that they'd rather bedoing.
I've also seen where kids havesuch little time to eat
sometimes and for kids that justtake longer to eat or may need
more of a supportive structureor environment for eating, that
(04:15):
can make it challenging too.
I know some schools are awareof this and trying to change the
schedule so that kids do have alittle extra time for eating
and playing because it's soimportant to their ability to
learn and focus throughout theday.
But you might find yourself inthat situation with one of your
kiddos where maybe they don'tfeel like they have enough time
at school and that can addpressure to eating or just not
(04:38):
allow them to eat what they need.
Here are some children who aremaybe more highly sensitive, may
not be conducive to theiroverall appetite, and some
children who maybe internalizeeverything that's going around
them that can be kind of a bluntforce on their appetite, where
they may not realize they'rehungry or not as in tune with
(05:00):
what their body is telling them,and so it's just harder to eat
sometimes at school and this canalso happen in situations where
your child might be more easilydistracted by playing and again
being with friends andeverything else that's going
around them it can be hard to beattuned to what is happening in
their body, and sometimes it'snot until they get home after
(05:21):
school that they realize oh mygosh, I'm famished, I need to
eat.
So there's different scenariosthat may be showing up in terms
of how your child is feelingabout eating at school, and it
can also just be helpful to beaware of, maybe, what are
specific challenges that yourchild is dealing with or
encountering and how can youbest support them through this.
(05:42):
So, like I said, I want to justwalk you through some practical
tips today that can be helpfulwhen you're considering
navigating lunch and schoollunches with your child, who may
be a more selective eater.
And I guess an overarchingthing that I want you to
consider is what are some of theexpectations that you might be
holding, either for yourself orfor your child?
(06:03):
Because, again, as parents, inour present day modern culture
that's so influenced by dietculture, there is so much
overwhelming information aboutwhat to send our kids with to
school for lunch and what theyshould be eating, all these
embedded ideas or rules aboutwhat their lunch boxes should
look like or what they should beeating.
(06:24):
And it's kind of funny becauseI remember growing up and having
a paper bag lunch no ice pack,none of that and it was either
peanut butter and jelly orbaloney sandwich or something of
that nature.
And it's interesting how muchschool lunches have evolved over
the years and it doesn't taketoo long to be on social media
(06:47):
and see all these ideas aboutwhat our kids lunches should
look like.
And, quite honestly, it can bereally overwhelming to be
bombarded with all thesepictures and things that might
feel unrealistic, especiallygiven whatever parenting season
that you might be in.
And I'm talking about picturesof things like bento boxes with
all the different colors andevery little compartment has a
(07:09):
different color in it andsandwiches are cut out in cute
little images or it's like atheme.
And I want you to hear if youenjoy doing those things and
that is your jam and you justget so much joy out of creating
that type of lunch for yourchild.
That is wonderful and kudos toyou, and this is not about
(07:30):
creating shame around thatwhatsoever.
I just want to start thisconversation about how,
sometimes, when we areapproaching lunches with our
kids, especially for school,sometimes we are playing against
these ideas about what we thinkit needs to look like in order
to be healthy or in order to besatiating, and I just want you
(07:51):
to ask yourself is thatrealistic for you?
Do you enjoy doing that?
How does your child receivethose foods?
Is it making it easier for themto eat?
Are they allowed to eat thefoods that feel safe and
enjoyable for them too, even ifit doesn't fall or fit into that
criteria of maybe what youthink they should be eating?
So these are all questions toexamine, because I know again
(08:14):
the pictures that we aren'tundated with, especially on
social media, showing what kidslunchboxes should look like, or
maybe you follow an influenceror content creator who's showing
how they pack their kidslunches, and maybe you wish you
could do that, but you're justin a season where you're super
stretched.
I just want to encourage youand remind you that it's more
again about the approach and howwe're feeding our child and,
(08:37):
especially when you have a pickyeater, it's okay to rely more
heavily on easily prepared foodsthat come together seamlessly,
that are more convenient,packaged, processed.
All of these things are waysthat we can keep our child fed
and satiated, especially if theymight be more selective.
And sometimes, when it comes tofeeding kids and sending them to
(09:00):
school with lunches, we canhave these hopes or expectations
that they might branch out ormight eat different things, but
you may find that your pickyeater again, those picky eating
behaviors, may be ramping upmore during the school year and
that could be part of howthey're staying grounded.
Sometimes, when there's a lotof changes, especially during
times of transition, macrotransitions like starting school
(09:23):
, starting a new schedule,having a new routine these can
all be challenging for ourchildren to navigate and
sometimes this can be a sourceof dysregulation and kids often
look to food as tangible formsof grounding and comfort and
reliability, and so putting avariety of different foods in
(09:43):
your child's lunchbox that maybe more challenging for them,
especially if they are a pickiercan be tougher for them.
So we just want to think aboutways to best support them and
also to just meet yourself whereyou're at.
It's okay to fall back on foodsthat are easy again, things
that you can assemble quickly,especially when you're
navigating, feeding multiplekids and packing multiple
(10:05):
lunches and snacks for school,it can become a lot.
So I just wanted to start outwith that that.
Any expectations that you'reholding for yourself, you have
permission to let those go inorder to meet yourself where
you're at and feed the child infront of you.
All that to say, let's dive intothese tips.
They're pretty, hopefully, easythings that can be tangible for
you to implement in your home,whether or not you have a picky
(10:28):
eater.
I think these things can besupportive in terms of thinking
about lunches and packinglunches for kids and making it
easier and more enjoyable,because this is something that
you are likely doing multipletimes a week for many months
over the year, and so we want tokeep it easy and a streamline
as possible so that you don'tburn out and that your child
doesn't burn out either.
(10:48):
So my first tip we kind oftalked about this a little bit,
but that is to incorporate manyof your child's preferred foods.
I like to think about lunchboxmeals and packing lunches for my
kids, including most of thethings that are preferred and
satiating for them, and I knowthis can be challenging,
especially when you havemultiple kids who like different
(11:09):
things and I know it's hard tokeep up with the food bill these
days and the rising cost offood.
It's all a lot, and sometimesyou might find that your child's
preferences are changing somuch that it makes it hard to
actually know what are theygoing to like today.
It can feel like a guessinggame every day, but this is
where I think standard processed, packaged foods can actually
(11:31):
play a huge role in making thiseasier and simple for you and
your child.
And I like to incorporate kindof a simple framework to help me
when I'm doing this, and I willactually link a little cheat
sheet that I have for you in theshow notes if you're interested
in utilizing something likethis.
But when you think aboutpacking food for your child, I
(11:53):
like to break it down and youmay have heard this before, but
into the three P categories.
So this includes packaged items, protein and produce.
So those are kind of the threeguidelines that I use to help
assemble my children's lunchesand in that sense I know I'm
including a variety of differentfoods that will allow them to
(12:15):
feel satiated, will help themmaintain energy.
But now the caveat here is thatwe don't want to pressure our
kids to eat any of these foodsand obviously we're not there
when they go to school.
But we don't want our kids tohave this sense of pressure or
feel like we're attaching anystipulations to the foods that
we're including or providing forthem.
But this framework can help youjust put together or assemble a
(12:39):
lunch in a more streamlined wayfor your children.
Now, within this framework, Ilike to lean on my child's
preferred foods, and I thinkabout this framework when we are
going grocery shopping.
So picking up packaged itemsthat I know are reliable for
them or things that they enjoy.
That can include things likegoldfish crackers or different
(13:00):
kinds of crackers, chips,popcorn, pirate beauty, all of
these things.
Pretzels kind of fit into thatpackaged category and what we'll
typically do is a saltypackaged item and then a sweet.
So we might do a bag of chips,a bag of popcorn or pretzels and
then some kind of packagedsweet, so that can look like
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cookies.
We love to shop at Trader Joe'sand they have so many fun
different cookie items,especially during the fall
months, and so we'll includesome cookies and kind of rotate
through.
So that's one way that I thinkabout packing their lunches.
Now for the protein component.
This one can be a littletougher and especially if you
(13:42):
have a picky eater, for ourpicky eaters, they don't like
sandwiches, like at all.
And it's so funny because Ithink sometimes we feel like I
have to send my kid a sandwich,and this is something again that
can be perpetuated byunrealistic expectations that we
see on social media or you know, just these embedded rules or
(14:03):
ideas about how our kid shouldbe eating.
But for a lot of kids they maynot like sandwiches.
And one thing that I found thatwas really interesting with my
son is he liked sandwiches buton a special kind of bread which
I know again, can be hard tostart to accommodate for all the
different unique changes.
But for a long time we wouldget different kind of like
(14:24):
multi-grain type of breads.
And one time I remember pickingup or we try to rotate through
different breads and we pickedup a loaf of potato bread and my
son loved that with Nutella init and he wanted to take that to
school.
But it's just interestingbecause again, when we have
these ideas like, oh, my kidshould eat a sandwich on a
(14:46):
multi-grain or whole wheat bread, you know it's important to
remember that, especially if youhave a more selective eater.
They may be more sensitive todifferent tastes and flavors and
textures and sometimes like thedifferent kinds of seeds and
oats that they put on theoutside crust of the bread you
know your child may not go for,may not like it because of those
things, and sometimes it's alittle bit of trial and error in
(15:08):
figuring out what works foryour child and what doesn't.
And this is where I just wantagain to give you permission to
let go of any unrealisticexpectations, like this idea
that your child has to have asandwich and that's the only way
that they're going to getprotein.
It's important to remember thatmany different foods have
overlapping nutrients and yourchild doesn't necessarily have
to have a sandwich.
(15:29):
And especially if you findyourself sending sandwiches and
they just come home at the endof the day and then you end up
throwing it out, it's okay tomaybe think outside the box and
explore some different optionsthat may work better for your
child.
I know for my son.
He really loves gogurt and beefjerky sticks.
He loves taking leftover pizzain his lunch.
(15:50):
So my point being that all ofthese different kinds of foods
are things that do includeprotein for our children.
So it's okay to mix and matchand just kind of figure out what
is working for your child inthe season that they're in and
making that work for them intheir lunch as feasible as
possible.
Another thing that my kidsreally like is when I just bake
(16:12):
up a tray of dino nuggets thenight before and I'll just kind
of portion them out in theirlunch boxes with maybe a little
dip on the side, and that can bea great source of protein to
you.
And there are things that arereliable and easy and safe for
them and it's not necessarilytraditional sandwich per se, but
it's something that they feelcomfortable with and that
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they're still getting nutritionfrom.
I've also gone through seasonswhere my kids like just taking
like pepperoni and salami kindof like a homemade lunchable, I
guess, where we would have Ritzcrackers and maybe sliced cheese
and pepperoni and they likejust kind of assembling that and
eating that together.
So there are many different waysthat you can fill in this
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protein category and it's okay,again, to lean on the foods that
your child prefers that feelsafe and comfortable for them,
because it's only going to makeit easier for them when they are
going to school and eating, andthis is where it's important to
challenge any unrealisticexpectations that you might be
having around what they shouldeat or what you should send,
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because if they're not eating it, you know, you might think,
well, what's the point?
And there's other ways, andthough there will be other
opportunities for your child tobe exposed and learn how to eat,
and also the thing to rememberis that your child is being
exposed to foods that they areseeing other kids their ages eat
as well, so there doesn't haveto be this pressure of getting
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their lunchbox to look a certainway or sending them to school
with a lunchbox full of foodsthat you hope they will eat.
It's what I call, like thefantasy lunchbox idea, where we
pack these things and hopethey'll eat them, but sometimes
it's just about coming back tobasics and what you know will
work for your child.
A second tip here is to allowyour child to help or have a say
(17:57):
in what goes in their lunchbox.
Again, this is going to lookdifferent for every different
family, but one thing that I'vereally learned and realized,
especially for children who aremore selective, is that having a
say, having some autonomy overwhat goes in their lunch, or
even just being allowed to playa role in preparing it can
really make a difference forthem, and there are many
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different ways that you can dothis.
It doesn't have to look acertain way, but I, as an
example, will usually put mykids lunchboxes out on the
counter the night before andjust ask them okay, guys, go and
pick out a couple things thatyou want in your lunch and
usually these are the packageditems, like they'll pick out
chips or they'll pick out thecookies that they want.
But these simple steps can playan important role in helping
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them feel more comfortable andconfident in what they know is
going in there, and I find thatit helps them to get kind of
excited, like, oh, I get to havethese, or I'm excited to put
this in my lunch, and it alsojust helps them feel more
prepared for the next day too.
Sometimes, especially for kidsthat are more highly sensitive
or that are more selective withfood, it can be a little nerve
(19:03):
racking to open up their lunchand maybe see a bunch of things
that they're not excited abouteating or that they feel
unfamiliar or uncomfortable with, and so we can kind of help
alleviate some of that pressureby allowing them to play a role
in packing their lunch, inputting items in there, and I do
this across the age spectrumwith my kids.
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So we have five through 13 yearolds, and some of them want to
be more involved than others.
Some of them want to pack thewhole lunch, others just want to
put a couple things in, and itreally helps to kind of talk
through the options with them asI'm assembling their lunches
together.
Now, depending on yoursituation, this may be easier
for you or harder, and what Ifind these are just some things
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to be aware of is that sometimes, if you are looking to have
more control over what yourchild is eating or what is going
in their lunch, it can bereally difficult to relinquish
some of that control to yourchild, and this is a clue that
it may be even more importantfor you to involve them in this
way.
Sometimes we want to be theones that have the say about
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what goes in there, how doestheir lunchbox look, and all of
these ways that we might try tocontrol or micromanage them can
make it harder for them to eator want to eat what's in their
lunch.
Some children, just by natureof their temperament, resist
anything that they feel likethey're being forced to do or
made to do so.
If you have a child in thiscategory, it may be really
(20:29):
helpful to try this out withthem, where you're saying, hey,
you be the one to go pick outsomething that you want to stick
in there, or this is theoptions that we have.
We have some oranges, we haveapple slices, which one sounds
good to you?
So giving them an option andallowing them to have the say of
what goes in there.
This can be especially helpfulfor the produce category, which
(20:50):
I realized it didn't talkthrough.
But produce is really any typeof fruit or vegetable, and what
I find, particularly for ourmore selective eaters, is that
fruit tends to fit this categoryand go over much better and
much easier than veggie.
But not to say that we don'toccasionally throw in there or
ask them hey, do you want somechopped up cucumbers or baby
(21:12):
carrots or edamame?
You know something easy.
But generally they tend toprefer the sweeter flavors that
are offered through fruit, andthis can also include things
like fruit cups, where it's acup of, let's say, canned fruit
chunks, like pineapple ormandarin oranges my kids love
those or applesauce pouches orfruit leathers.
(21:34):
These are all things that fitwithin the produce category.
That can work a little easierfor kids who are more selective,
and it can be helpful, asyou're incorporating your child,
to give them an option betweentwo choices.
I find, especially for youngerkids, if you present them with
too many open-ended options orjust ask that open-ended
(21:54):
question like, hey, what do youwant for lunch tomorrow?
Sometimes that can be toooverwhelming, where there's so
many things they don't even knowwhat their options are or they
might not want to make a choiceor they'll literally start
saying no to everything and atthat point it can feel like a
guessing game.
You're like do you want this,do you want that?
No, no, no, and that can bereally frustrating.
But I find that if you run intothat situation with your child,
(22:17):
presenting an option betweentwo choices can make that a
little easier because you'reessentially narrowing it down
for them and allowing them topick.
So again, this is a great placewhere you can try this with the
produce category, where you'resaying, okay, we have grapes or
we have strawberries, which onesounds better for your lunch
tomorrow?
And sometimes I will double upthe fruit.
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I just know for some of my kidsthat tends to work better for
them.
So we'll do two servings offruit and they'll love that and
eat that at school, versus likedoing a fruit and a veggie.
Just remember, this doesn'thave to look a certain way.
You don't have to followcertain rules or protocols.
You can mix a match and do whatworks for your child.
Logistically.
Sometimes it can be harder toallow your child to pack their
(23:02):
lunches.
I do think over the long term,while it may take more time and
more energy and require morebandwidth of you, I do think it
can be a worthwhile investmentin terms of supporting their
autonomy, allowing them someindependence and also helping
them build the skills they needto learn how to feed themselves
over time.
These are great things topractice all across the lifespan
(23:25):
, so keep that tip in mind.
Another thing that I like tojust think about doing we do
this in our home and also thiscan be helpful, especially if
you have a picky eater who'scoming home with a full lunchbox
is to think about sandwichinglunchtime.
So we like to bookend lunch atschool with a good breakfast in
the morning and then a decentafter school.
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It's basically like a meal or amini meal or a snack or
whatever you wanna call it, butyou really wanna think about
giving your child good eatingopportunities before and after
school, the reason for thatbeing that, again, if you have a
picky eater who maybe is justhaving a harder time eating at
school, or you just have a childwho's more distracted whatever
the reason might be it'sgenerally expected that your
(24:11):
child is going to come home morehungry.
And usually what I find is thatwhen those distractions have
dissipated and they're back intheir normal routine and
environment at home, kids areable to tune in to what their
bodies are needing, andsometimes kids have to do a
little bit of catch up frommaybe not eating enough during
the day when they were at school.
So I really think about it.
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I know sometimes we think aboutit like an after school snack,
but I started thinking about itas just like another meal and
that was kind of a game changerfor us, because previously I
would just put out maybe one ortwo things, but then I realized
like that wasn't enough.
My kids were constantly goingin the pantry or in the fridge
until dinner time and I justrealized I was not putting out
(24:54):
enough food for them when theycame home from school and they
were hungry for it.
And now I realized this maydepend on your individual family
situation.
So if your child is maybe inafter school programs or
activities and they're cominghome later and maybe you're
having dinner soon after that,you can adjust your schedule as
(25:15):
needed.
But I think, just understandingthat when your child comes home
at the end of their school day,they likely are going to need a
good opportunity to eat a mealthat does offer more satiating
components, given that they maynot have quite gotten what they
needed over the course of theday.
So something they keep in mind.
And also for the morning too.
I know the mornings can be hard.
(25:36):
Not all kids are breakfasteaters.
Maybe their appetites kind ofstrike later when they're waking
up more.
And we don't want to pressureor force our kids to have to eat
, but we just wanna think aboutwhat kind of options are we
putting out there.
My kids love eating cereal inthe morning and I also know that
that is not something that'sgoing to have staying power.
(25:57):
I know if I eat a bowl ofcereal that I'm usually hungry
like an hour later.
So I try to also put out somefoods that do give more staying
power to the cereal or thewaffles or the toast or whatever
that might be, and thoseinclude things like produce and
protein.
Do you see the theme here?
That framework can really beapplicable to all your eating
(26:20):
times, because protein usuallyhas a mix of protein and fat.
Produce has fiber in there andthose things do help promote
more satiety.
They do help food digest alittle more slower in the body
so that there's a steady streamof nutrients and the bloodstream
and keep blood sugar and energylevels more stable.
So thinking about that in thatframework can be more helpful.
(26:43):
This doesn't mean you have tomake this whole production.
I know mornings can be superstressful getting kids ready and
out the door in time for school, but just think about easy
things that you might be able toincorporate.
This can include something likeinstead of just a waffle at
breakfast, maybe it's a wafflewith the option to put peanut
butter or banana or something ontop of it to go with it Simple
(27:05):
things that maybe can be addedto help promote satiety.
Now again, the caveat here isthat we're not pressuring our
kids to eat.
I think sometimes as parents wehave so much concern about our
kids not eating enough or beinghungry at school, or maybe not
being focused because they'rehungry and melting down at the
end of the day because theydidn't eat enough.
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All of these things are totallyvalid concerns and we also have
to remember what is in ourrealm of control and what is our
kids jobs.
When it comes to eating, we canjust focus on providing, making
sure those different optionsare available and then creating
an eating environment that feelssafe, that feels nurturing and
(27:47):
connecting with them and knowingthat they will get what they
need over the course of the day.
Now, going back to this pointreally quickly, I know it's
really hard to feed kids and doall the things that have to
happen in the morning andsometimes our kids aren't eating
or not wanting to eat becausethey don't see us eating.
(28:08):
And this was something Ilearned the hard way, especially
with my youngest, where I waslike up and busy and in the
kitchen and trying to finishpacking lunches and do all the
things, and my youngest, whojust started kindergarten this
year, didn't want to sit downand eat.
And I realized that when I satdown with her, even just for
five minutes, and she saw meeating something and she wanted
(28:30):
that connection piece.
We have to remember that, thatmodeling of us taking the time
to sit and eat something andnourish our bodies even if
you're just drinking coffee ornibbling on something until you
are ready to eat later you wantto think about the message that
you're sending your child,especially in the mornings,
before running out the door.
Sometimes our kids are like whyshould I eat if you're not
(28:52):
eating?
Or that's the message that'sbeing sent to them.
So if you have a child that'sstruggling with that, consider
what is happening in the morningand are there ways that you can
adjust the eating environmentto better support your kids and
the example and the message thatyou're sending them through the
way that you're approachingfood for yourself.
So last tip here and then I justhave one more kind of bonus tip
(29:13):
.
But last tip and we've talkedabout this, I'll just briefly
summarize is just to let go ofthose unrealistic expectations.
Again, your child doesn't haveor need to have a perfectly
colored bento box with differentcolors and flavors and cookie
cutter sandwiches in order tohave a healthy lunch.
And there has been so muchnegativity around packaged and
(29:35):
processed foods and yet weforget that these can be an
instrumental part of feeding andnourishing our kids and
ensuring, especially for pickyeaters, that they have something
that feels safe, especiallywhen they're at school and their
environment and things aredifferent for them.
It's okay if your child's lunchdoesn't look like what you see
on social media.
That is not a criteria forfeeding your child in a healthy
(29:56):
manner, and the most importantthing that you can do is be
attuned to your child's needsand what helps them feel safe
and enables them to enjoy foodwhen they are at school.
Now a couple of little bonustips to wrap up our episode for
today.
Number one is be aware of anyfoods that your child might be
(30:17):
showing an interest in.
So this is why I really loveschool environments or just
environments where your child isgoing to be exposed to other
foods.
So, whether the school isproviding something or your
child sees something thatsomeone else is eating, this is
really important to be attunedto and to pay attention to, and
I'll tell you why.
If you notice that your childis saying, oh, so and so had
(30:41):
these cookies or they got tohave a lollipop or a piece of
candy in their lunch, we want topay attention to those things,
because this is when we want totake that step and be proactive
about integrating the thingsthat our child is showing an
interest in.
It's really easy to controlwhat our kids have access to in
our home, but when you starthaving school-aged kids who are
(31:03):
now exposed to things that otherchildren are eating or, let's
say, your kids are getting olderand have more freedom and
flexibility over what they caneat or they can start buying
things at school I know for myoldest, who's in eighth grade
they have like a snack shack atschool where they can buy a cup
of noodles or ramen or pizzadays or a package of cookies.
(31:23):
We don't want those times to bethe only times that our kids
get access or exposure to someof the things that they're
starting to show an interest in.
So be proactive about takingnotice of that and trying to
incorporate it where possible.
Now, this doesn't mean you haveto buy every single thing that
your child's asking for orwanting, but it can be really
(31:43):
helpful when those things areintegrated in their lunchbox.
I know, just as an example, forthe longest time one of my kids
friends would bring fruit bythe foot, like those fruit
roll-ups, and that's just notsomething that we normally buy.
We'll do like fruit gummies,fruit snacks.
But we weren't buying fruit bythe foot for no particular
reason.
(32:04):
It just wasn't something thatwas on my mind to buy.
But one of my kids kept askingabout it because she saw her
friend have it.
And, sure enough, when we wentto the grocery store and they
happened to see it, that wassomething that came up like oh
mom, these are the ones that myfriend buys.
Can we try them?
Can we try them out?
And just because I saw thathigh interest that was starting
to kind of creep up in her mind,I wanted to incorporate that.
(32:27):
I wanted her to know that allfoods are safe.
We can incorporate and try lotsof different things.
And so we bought a box and wekind of rotate through different
things in that way where thingsthat they're showing an
interest in can start to beincorporated in their school
lunches.
Another thing I like to dohauling meals around the corner
here during this time of year orreally any candy centered
(32:49):
holiday when you start noticingthat they're putting out those
candies on the shelves whichhappens earlier and earlier, I
swear, every year it's okay tobuy the bag and maybe start
putting a few pieces in yourkids lunch or let them pick out
a couple pieces to take toschool.
This can be really helpful toprevent any particular food from
escalating on a pedestal intheir mind, and you're also
(33:12):
showing them that these foodsare safe and you are safe to eat
these things, and it's never athing like, oh, mommy doesn't
buy these foods or we're notallowed to eat these foods in
our house, and it onlyintensifies their desire and
longing for those foods.
So we want to be intentional,and that's just.
The tip is like be intentionalas your child is going to school
and being more aware of whatother kids are eating or what
(33:34):
they have access to.
Take notice and maybe beintentional about incorporating
some of those things in theirlunches too.
Last little bonus tip here isjust a couple red flags to be
aware of when it comes to yourchild and eating school lunches,
and we're going to talk moreabout this.
This is part of the reason whyI wanted to do a little mini
series on school related topics,because I know it's not as
(33:57):
straightforward as packing alunch for your child and sending
it to school.
Your child is likely hearingdiet, culture, dialogue, whether
it's from a well-meaningteacher or their health
curriculum or other kids thatthey're around.
So we're definitely going to beaddressing that.
But something I just wanted tobriefly address especially if
you have a pick, your eater orjust a more anxious child is
(34:19):
some things that can beimportant to tune into.
So if you notice your childconsistently not eating anything
that's being sent in theirlunches, or complaining that
they're not hungry at all atschool, or maybe you notice that
your child is anxious abouteating at school or is worried
about what other kids arethinking about them in terms of
(34:41):
eating or how they look eatingcertain things, these can be
things to just clue into.
Sometimes kids start feelingpeer pressure at young ages
about what they're eating, orthey're noticing or picking up
on what other kids are talkingabout, or kids saying things
like oh, I am not allowed to eatthat that has so much sugar in
it, or things that kids areregurgitating because they're
(35:03):
hearing it from their owncaregivers and that can
sometimes play a role in how ourkids feel about eating or
eating at school.
But we just want to look forreoccurring patterns as your
child consistently not eating atschool or avoiding eating or
scared of eating, or doesn'tfeel safe eating at school.
These are things we want totune into and potentially
(35:26):
intervene early if possible,especially if there are some
other things going on that aremaking it difficult or
challenging for them to eat.
So I hope this was helpful foryou.
Again.
I just wanted to give you somepractical tips to work with,
especially as so many of us arespending our kids to school at
this time of year.
As always, I would love to hearfrom you if you have any
(35:46):
questions, if you would likesome additional information or
if you have any special requestsfor our upcoming series on
school related topics,especially as it pertains to
food and body image andnavigating diet culture in
school.
I would love to hear from you.
Feel free to send an emailhello at crystalcargiscom.
(36:06):
You can always reply to any ofthe emails that come your way
over the course of the weeks andlet me know what's on your mind
.
And, as another reminder, Iwill stick my free little
planning cheat sheet in the shownotes for you that you can
download and print that out sothat you have more guidance when
it comes to planning lunchesfor your kids and it hopefully
(36:26):
can feel a little morestreamlined for you.
Well, I'm hoping that yourkiddos have an amazing year
ahead in school and thank you somuch again for tuning in.
I'm so appreciative of youbeing here with me.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode of the Lift the
Shame podcast.
For more tips and guidance onyour motherhood journey, come
connect with me on Instagram atcrystalcargis.
(36:47):
Until next week, mama, I'll becheering you on.
Bye for now.
Hey there, mama, you're listening to the Lift the
Shame podcast.
I'm your host, crystal, mama ofFive and your family's
intuitive eating dietitian, hereto help you cut through the
diet culture clutter so you canenjoy freedom with food as a
family.
I'm on a mission to help youend the generational legacy of
diet culture in your home so youcan experience motherhood free
(00:22):
from food guilt and body shame.
Listen in weekly for guidanceon how you can ditch diet
culture, heal your relationshipwith food in your body and
confidently raise intuitiveeaters.
Let's dive in and lift theshame together.
Hey, mama, welcome back to theshow.
I'm so glad that you're hereand at the time of this
(00:42):
recording we are full swing andback to school season, and I bet
that you probably are too, so Ihope that that's been going
well.
I know it's always a transition, no matter what ages that you
might be parenting.
Today and over the last fewweeks we have been delving into
some deeper layers around pickyeating, and over the next few
(01:04):
weeks I want to start a newseries around back to school
topics.
So today's episode is going tobe a little bit of overlap
between two of these topics, andthat has to do with how to
support your child who may bedealing with selective eating
when it comes to eating atschool.
Selective eating or pickyeating can be tough to navigate
(01:26):
at home and you may also bedealing with some fears or
uncertainty about your childeating at school.
So, whether your child iseating a school provided lunch
or if you're packing theirlunches, sometimes that
different environment can bemore challenging for a picky
eater.
Our last few episodes on pickyeating have definitely looked at
(01:46):
some of the deeper piecesconnected to how we feel about
our kids who might be moreselective with food, and those
topics are definitely importantto consider how we're
approaching and showing up withthem in our feeding relationship
, and today I'm hoping that Ican just touch on some practical
tips and applications andstrategies to help you as you're
(02:07):
considering supporting yourchild who may be more selective
with food as they go to school.
So, as a reminder, I have twopicky eaters myself.
One is currently 11.
One is seven, and a lot of thethings that I'm sharing are
things that have come from mylived experience in terms of
mothering my picky eaters andlearning how to support them,
(02:30):
especially as they go to school,and some of these things are
also just things that I'veexperienced and navigated with
clients of mine who are nervoussometimes about sending their
child to school and afraid thatthey may not eat anything or
having their child come homewith a full lunch box and
wondering how on earth did mykid make it through the day
(02:50):
today without eating any food?
And all these things can bereally hard and you want to be
able to support your child toget what they need and eat in a
manner that feels safe andsupportive to them.
Now, when we're thinking about aschool setting, this can be
different for all kids.
I've seen many differentscenarios.
I've seen sometimes that beingin a school setting where kids
(03:12):
have peers their age who arealso eating different foods or
having low pressure exposures toeating and trying different
things.
Sometimes they're in an eatingenvironment that may feel more
relaxing to them and that canhave an effect on their appetite
.
So I have seen in somescenarios where kids tend to
(03:32):
maybe do a little bit betterwith eating at school or in
their school settings.
I've also seen, on the otherhand, where school can be harder
and sometimes we see pickyeating behaviors ramping up in a
school setting, and that can befor different reasons too.
Sometimes there's just moregoing on in the environment.
Kids are more distracted.
They're busy playing withfriends and engaging in
(03:54):
different activities thatthey're enjoying and food feels
secondary to them or it feelslike an interruption of other
things that they'd rather bedoing.
I've also seen where kids havesuch little time to eat
sometimes and for kids that justtake longer to eat or may need
more of a supportive structureor environment for eating, that
(04:15):
can make it challenging too.
I know some schools are awareof this and trying to change the
schedule so that kids do have alittle extra time for eating
and playing because it's soimportant to their ability to
learn and focus throughout theday.
But you might find yourself inthat situation with one of your
kiddos where maybe they don'tfeel like they have enough time
at school and that can addpressure to eating or just not
(04:38):
allow them to eat what they need.
Here are some children who aremaybe more highly sensitive, may
not be conducive to theiroverall appetite, and some
children who maybe internalizeeverything that's going around
them that can be kind of a bluntforce on their appetite, where
they may not realize they'rehungry or not as in tune with
(05:00):
what their body is telling them,and so it's just harder to eat
sometimes at school and this canalso happen in situations where
your child might be more easilydistracted by playing and again
being with friends andeverything else that's going
around them it can be hard to beattuned to what is happening in
their body, and sometimes it'snot until they get home after
(05:21):
school that they realize oh mygosh, I'm famished, I need to
eat.
So there's different scenariosthat may be showing up in terms
of how your child is feelingabout eating at school, and it
can also just be helpful to beaware of, maybe, what are
specific challenges that yourchild is dealing with or
encountering and how can youbest support them through this.
(05:42):
So, like I said, I want to justwalk you through some practical
tips today that can be helpfulwhen you're considering
navigating lunch and schoollunches with your child, who may
be a more selective eater.
And I guess an overarchingthing that I want you to
consider is what are some of theexpectations that you might be
holding, either for yourself orfor your child?
(06:03):
Because, again, as parents, inour present day modern culture
that's so influenced by dietculture, there is so much
overwhelming information aboutwhat to send our kids with to
school for lunch and what theyshould be eating, all these
embedded ideas or rules aboutwhat their lunch boxes should
look like or what they should beeating.
(06:24):
And it's kind of funny becauseI remember growing up and having
a paper bag lunch no ice pack,none of that and it was either
peanut butter and jelly orbaloney sandwich or something of
that nature.
And it's interesting how muchschool lunches have evolved over
the years and it doesn't taketoo long to be on social media
(06:47):
and see all these ideas aboutwhat our kids lunches should
look like.
And, quite honestly, it can bereally overwhelming to be
bombarded with all thesepictures and things that might
feel unrealistic, especiallygiven whatever parenting season
that you might be in.
And I'm talking about picturesof things like bento boxes with
all the different colors andevery little compartment has a
(07:09):
different color in it andsandwiches are cut out in cute
little images or it's like atheme.
And I want you to hear if youenjoy doing those things and
that is your jam and you justget so much joy out of creating
that type of lunch for yourchild.
That is wonderful and kudos toyou, and this is not about
(07:30):
creating shame around thatwhatsoever.
I just want to start thisconversation about how,
sometimes, when we areapproaching lunches with our
kids, especially for school,sometimes we are playing against
these ideas about what we thinkit needs to look like in order
to be healthy or in order to besatiating, and I just want you
(07:51):
to ask yourself is thatrealistic for you?
Do you enjoy doing that?
How does your child receivethose foods?
Is it making it easier for themto eat?
Are they allowed to eat thefoods that feel safe and
enjoyable for them too, even ifit doesn't fall or fit into that
criteria of maybe what youthink they should be eating?
So these are all questions toexamine, because I know again
(08:14):
the pictures that we aren'tundated with, especially on
social media, showing what kidslunchboxes should look like, or
maybe you follow an influenceror content creator who's showing
how they pack their kidslunches, and maybe you wish you
could do that, but you're justin a season where you're super
stretched.
I just want to encourage youand remind you that it's more
again about the approach and howwe're feeding our child and,
(08:37):
especially when you have a pickyeater, it's okay to rely more
heavily on easily prepared foodsthat come together seamlessly,
that are more convenient,packaged, processed.
All of these things are waysthat we can keep our child fed
and satiated, especially if theymight be more selective.
And sometimes, when it comes tofeeding kids and sending them to
(09:00):
school with lunches, we canhave these hopes or expectations
that they might branch out ormight eat different things, but
you may find that your pickyeater again, those picky eating
behaviors, may be ramping upmore during the school year and
that could be part of howthey're staying grounded.
Sometimes, when there's a lotof changes, especially during
times of transition, macrotransitions like starting school
(09:23):
, starting a new schedule,having a new routine these can
all be challenging for ourchildren to navigate and
sometimes this can be a sourceof dysregulation and kids often
look to food as tangible formsof grounding and comfort and
reliability, and so putting avariety of different foods in
(09:43):
your child's lunchbox that maybe more challenging for them,
especially if they are a pickiercan be tougher for them.
So we just want to think aboutways to best support them and
also to just meet yourself whereyou're at.
It's okay to fall back on foodsthat are easy again, things
that you can assemble quickly,especially when you're
navigating, feeding multiplekids and packing multiple
(10:05):
lunches and snacks for school,it can become a lot.
So I just wanted to start outwith that that.
Any expectations that you'reholding for yourself, you have
permission to let those go inorder to meet yourself where
you're at and feed the child infront of you.
All that to say, let's dive intothese tips.
They're pretty, hopefully, easythings that can be tangible for
you to implement in your home,whether or not you have a picky
(10:28):
eater.
I think these things can besupportive in terms of thinking
about lunches and packinglunches for kids and making it
easier and more enjoyable,because this is something that
you are likely doing multipletimes a week for many months
over the year, and so we want tokeep it easy and a streamline
as possible so that you don'tburn out and that your child
doesn't burn out either.
(10:48):
So my first tip we kind oftalked about this a little bit,
but that is to incorporate manyof your child's preferred foods.
I like to think about lunchboxmeals and packing lunches for my
kids, including most of thethings that are preferred and
satiating for them, and I knowthis can be challenging,
especially when you havemultiple kids who like different
(11:09):
things and I know it's hard tokeep up with the food bill these
days and the rising cost offood.
It's all a lot, and sometimesyou might find that your child's
preferences are changing somuch that it makes it hard to
actually know what are theygoing to like today.
It can feel like a guessinggame every day, but this is
where I think standard processed, packaged foods can actually
(11:31):
play a huge role in making thiseasier and simple for you and
your child.
And I like to incorporate kindof a simple framework to help me
when I'm doing this, and I willactually link a little cheat
sheet that I have for you in theshow notes if you're interested
in utilizing something likethis.
But when you think aboutpacking food for your child, I
(11:53):
like to break it down and youmay have heard this before, but
into the three P categories.
So this includes packaged items, protein and produce.
So those are kind of the threeguidelines that I use to help
assemble my children's lunchesand in that sense I know I'm
including a variety of differentfoods that will allow them to
(12:15):
feel satiated, will help themmaintain energy.
But now the caveat here is thatwe don't want to pressure our
kids to eat any of these foodsand obviously we're not there
when they go to school.
But we don't want our kids tohave this sense of pressure or
feel like we're attaching anystipulations to the foods that
we're including or providing forthem.
But this framework can help youjust put together or assemble a
(12:39):
lunch in a more streamlined wayfor your children.
Now, within this framework, Ilike to lean on my child's
preferred foods, and I thinkabout this framework when we are
going grocery shopping.
So picking up packaged itemsthat I know are reliable for
them or things that they enjoy.
That can include things likegoldfish crackers or different
(13:00):
kinds of crackers, chips,popcorn, pirate beauty, all of
these things.
Pretzels kind of fit into thatpackaged category and what we'll
typically do is a saltypackaged item and then a sweet.
So we might do a bag of chips,a bag of popcorn or pretzels and
then some kind of packagedsweet, so that can look like
(13:21):
cookies.
We love to shop at Trader Joe'sand they have so many fun
different cookie items,especially during the fall
months, and so we'll includesome cookies and kind of rotate
through.
So that's one way that I thinkabout packing their lunches.
Now for the protein component.
This one can be a littletougher and especially if you
(13:42):
have a picky eater, for ourpicky eaters, they don't like
sandwiches, like at all.
And it's so funny because Ithink sometimes we feel like I
have to send my kid a sandwich,and this is something again that
can be perpetuated byunrealistic expectations that we
see on social media or you know, just these embedded rules or
(14:03):
ideas about how our kid shouldbe eating.
But for a lot of kids they maynot like sandwiches.
And one thing that I found thatwas really interesting with my
son is he liked sandwiches buton a special kind of bread which
I know again, can be hard tostart to accommodate for all the
different unique changes.
But for a long time we wouldget different kind of like
(14:24):
multi-grain type of breads.
And one time I remember pickingup or we try to rotate through
different breads and we pickedup a loaf of potato bread and my
son loved that with Nutella init and he wanted to take that to
school.
But it's just interestingbecause again, when we have
these ideas like, oh, my kidshould eat a sandwich on a
(14:46):
multi-grain or whole wheat bread, you know it's important to
remember that, especially if youhave a more selective eater.
They may be more sensitive todifferent tastes and flavors and
textures and sometimes like thedifferent kinds of seeds and
oats that they put on theoutside crust of the bread you
know your child may not go for,may not like it because of those
things, and sometimes it's alittle bit of trial and error in
(15:08):
figuring out what works foryour child and what doesn't.
And this is where I just wantagain to give you permission to
let go of any unrealisticexpectations, like this idea
that your child has to have asandwich and that's the only way
that they're going to getprotein.
It's important to remember thatmany different foods have
overlapping nutrients and yourchild doesn't necessarily have
to have a sandwich.
(15:29):
And especially if you findyourself sending sandwiches and
they just come home at the endof the day and then you end up
throwing it out, it's okay tomaybe think outside the box and
explore some different optionsthat may work better for your
child.
I know for my son.
He really loves gogurt and beefjerky sticks.
He loves taking leftover pizzain his lunch.
(15:50):
So my point being that all ofthese different kinds of foods
are things that do includeprotein for our children.
So it's okay to mix and matchand just kind of figure out what
is working for your child inthe season that they're in and
making that work for them intheir lunch as feasible as
possible.
Another thing that my kidsreally like is when I just bake
(16:12):
up a tray of dino nuggets thenight before and I'll just kind
of portion them out in theirlunch boxes with maybe a little
dip on the side, and that can bea great source of protein to
you.
And there are things that arereliable and easy and safe for
them and it's not necessarilytraditional sandwich per se, but
it's something that they feelcomfortable with and that
(16:33):
they're still getting nutritionfrom.
I've also gone through seasonswhere my kids like just taking
like pepperoni and salami kindof like a homemade lunchable, I
guess, where we would have Ritzcrackers and maybe sliced cheese
and pepperoni and they likejust kind of assembling that and
eating that together.
So there are many different waysthat you can fill in this
(16:53):
protein category and it's okay,again, to lean on the foods that
your child prefers that feelsafe and comfortable for them,
because it's only going to makeit easier for them when they are
going to school and eating, andthis is where it's important to
challenge any unrealisticexpectations that you might be
having around what they shouldeat or what you should send,
(17:15):
because if they're not eating it, you know, you might think,
well, what's the point?
And there's other ways, andthough there will be other
opportunities for your child tobe exposed and learn how to eat,
and also the thing to rememberis that your child is being
exposed to foods that they areseeing other kids their ages eat
as well, so there doesn't haveto be this pressure of getting
(17:35):
their lunchbox to look a certainway or sending them to school
with a lunchbox full of foodsthat you hope they will eat.
It's what I call, like thefantasy lunchbox idea, where we
pack these things and hopethey'll eat them, but sometimes
it's just about coming back tobasics and what you know will
work for your child.
A second tip here is to allowyour child to help or have a say
(17:57):
in what goes in their lunchbox.
Again, this is going to lookdifferent for every different
family, but one thing that I'vereally learned and realized,
especially for children who aremore selective, is that having a
say, having some autonomy overwhat goes in their lunch, or
even just being allowed to playa role in preparing it can
really make a difference forthem, and there are many
(18:18):
different ways that you can dothis.
It doesn't have to look acertain way, but I, as an
example, will usually put mykids lunchboxes out on the
counter the night before andjust ask them okay, guys, go and
pick out a couple things thatyou want in your lunch and
usually these are the packageditems, like they'll pick out
chips or they'll pick out thecookies that they want.
But these simple steps can playan important role in helping
(18:41):
them feel more comfortable andconfident in what they know is
going in there, and I find thatit helps them to get kind of
excited, like, oh, I get to havethese, or I'm excited to put
this in my lunch, and it alsojust helps them feel more
prepared for the next day too.
Sometimes, especially for kidsthat are more highly sensitive
or that are more selective withfood, it can be a little nerve
(19:03):
racking to open up their lunchand maybe see a bunch of things
that they're not excited abouteating or that they feel
unfamiliar or uncomfortable with, and so we can kind of help
alleviate some of that pressureby allowing them to play a role
in packing their lunch, inputting items in there, and I do
this across the age spectrumwith my kids.
(19:23):
So we have five through 13 yearolds, and some of them want to
be more involved than others.
Some of them want to pack thewhole lunch, others just want to
put a couple things in, and itreally helps to kind of talk
through the options with them asI'm assembling their lunches
together.
Now, depending on yoursituation, this may be easier
for you or harder, and what Ifind these are just some things
(19:47):
to be aware of is that sometimes, if you are looking to have
more control over what yourchild is eating or what is going
in their lunch, it can bereally difficult to relinquish
some of that control to yourchild, and this is a clue that
it may be even more importantfor you to involve them in this
way.
Sometimes we want to be theones that have the say about
(20:09):
what goes in there, how doestheir lunchbox look, and all of
these ways that we might try tocontrol or micromanage them can
make it harder for them to eator want to eat what's in their
lunch.
Some children, just by natureof their temperament, resist
anything that they feel likethey're being forced to do or
made to do so.
If you have a child in thiscategory, it may be really
(20:29):
helpful to try this out withthem, where you're saying, hey,
you be the one to go pick outsomething that you want to stick
in there, or this is theoptions that we have.
We have some oranges, we haveapple slices, which one sounds
good to you?
So giving them an option andallowing them to have the say of
what goes in there.
This can be especially helpfulfor the produce category, which
(20:50):
I realized it didn't talkthrough.
But produce is really any typeof fruit or vegetable, and what
I find, particularly for ourmore selective eaters, is that
fruit tends to fit this categoryand go over much better and
much easier than veggie.
But not to say that we don'toccasionally throw in there or
ask them hey, do you want somechopped up cucumbers or baby
(21:12):
carrots or edamame?
You know something easy.
But generally they tend toprefer the sweeter flavors that
are offered through fruit, andthis can also include things
like fruit cups, where it's acup of, let's say, canned fruit
chunks, like pineapple ormandarin oranges my kids love
those or applesauce pouches orfruit leathers.
(21:34):
These are all things that fitwithin the produce category.
That can work a little easierfor kids who are more selective,
and it can be helpful, asyou're incorporating your child,
to give them an option betweentwo choices.
I find, especially for youngerkids, if you present them with
too many open-ended options orjust ask that open-ended
(21:54):
question like, hey, what do youwant for lunch tomorrow?
Sometimes that can be toooverwhelming, where there's so
many things they don't even knowwhat their options are or they
might not want to make a choiceor they'll literally start
saying no to everything and atthat point it can feel like a
guessing game.
You're like do you want this,do you want that?
No, no, no, and that can bereally frustrating.
But I find that if you run intothat situation with your child,
(22:17):
presenting an option betweentwo choices can make that a
little easier because you'reessentially narrowing it down
for them and allowing them topick.
So again, this is a great placewhere you can try this with the
produce category, where you'resaying, okay, we have grapes or
we have strawberries, which onesounds better for your lunch
tomorrow?
And sometimes I will double upthe fruit.
(22:38):
I just know for some of my kidsthat tends to work better for
them.
So we'll do two servings offruit and they'll love that and
eat that at school, versus likedoing a fruit and a veggie.
Just remember, this doesn'thave to look a certain way.
You don't have to followcertain rules or protocols.
You can mix a match and do whatworks for your child.
Logistically.
Sometimes it can be harder toallow your child to pack their
(23:02):
lunches.
I do think over the long term,while it may take more time and
more energy and require morebandwidth of you, I do think it
can be a worthwhile investmentin terms of supporting their
autonomy, allowing them someindependence and also helping
them build the skills they needto learn how to feed themselves
over time.
These are great things topractice all across the lifespan
(23:25):
, so keep that tip in mind.
Another thing that I like tojust think about doing we do
this in our home and also thiscan be helpful, especially if
you have a picky eater who'scoming home with a full lunchbox
is to think about sandwichinglunchtime.
So we like to bookend lunch atschool with a good breakfast in
the morning and then a decentafter school.
(23:48):
It's basically like a meal or amini meal or a snack or
whatever you wanna call it, butyou really wanna think about
giving your child good eatingopportunities before and after
school, the reason for thatbeing that, again, if you have a
picky eater who maybe is justhaving a harder time eating at
school, or you just have a childwho's more distracted whatever
the reason might be it'sgenerally expected that your
(24:11):
child is going to come home morehungry.
And usually what I find is thatwhen those distractions have
dissipated and they're back intheir normal routine and
environment at home, kids areable to tune in to what their
bodies are needing, andsometimes kids have to do a
little bit of catch up frommaybe not eating enough during
the day when they were at school.
So I really think about it.
(24:33):
I know sometimes we think aboutit like an after school snack,
but I started thinking about itas just like another meal and
that was kind of a game changerfor us, because previously I
would just put out maybe one ortwo things, but then I realized
like that wasn't enough.
My kids were constantly goingin the pantry or in the fridge
until dinner time and I justrealized I was not putting out
(24:54):
enough food for them when theycame home from school and they
were hungry for it.
And now I realized this maydepend on your individual family
situation.
So if your child is maybe inafter school programs or
activities and they're cominghome later and maybe you're
having dinner soon after that,you can adjust your schedule as
(25:15):
needed.
But I think, just understandingthat when your child comes home
at the end of their school day,they likely are going to need a
good opportunity to eat a mealthat does offer more satiating
components, given that they maynot have quite gotten what they
needed over the course of theday.
So something they keep in mind.
And also for the morning too.
I know the mornings can be hard.
(25:36):
Not all kids are breakfasteaters.
Maybe their appetites kind ofstrike later when they're waking
up more.
And we don't want to pressureor force our kids to have to eat
, but we just wanna think aboutwhat kind of options are we
putting out there.
My kids love eating cereal inthe morning and I also know that
that is not something that'sgoing to have staying power.
(25:57):
I know if I eat a bowl ofcereal that I'm usually hungry
like an hour later.
So I try to also put out somefoods that do give more staying
power to the cereal or thewaffles or the toast or whatever
that might be, and thoseinclude things like produce and
protein.
Do you see the theme here?
That framework can really beapplicable to all your eating
(26:20):
times, because protein usuallyhas a mix of protein and fat.
Produce has fiber in there andthose things do help promote
more satiety.
They do help food digest alittle more slower in the body
so that there's a steady streamof nutrients and the bloodstream
and keep blood sugar and energylevels more stable.
So thinking about that in thatframework can be more helpful.
(26:43):
This doesn't mean you have tomake this whole production.
I know mornings can be superstressful getting kids ready and
out the door in time for school, but just think about easy
things that you might be able toincorporate.
This can include something likeinstead of just a waffle at
breakfast, maybe it's a wafflewith the option to put peanut
butter or banana or something ontop of it to go with it Simple
(27:05):
things that maybe can be addedto help promote satiety.
Now again, the caveat here isthat we're not pressuring our
kids to eat.
I think sometimes as parents wehave so much concern about our
kids not eating enough or beinghungry at school, or maybe not
being focused because they'rehungry and melting down at the
end of the day because theydidn't eat enough.
(27:27):
All of these things are totallyvalid concerns and we also have
to remember what is in ourrealm of control and what is our
kids jobs.
When it comes to eating, we canjust focus on providing, making
sure those different optionsare available and then creating
an eating environment that feelssafe, that feels nurturing and
(27:47):
connecting with them and knowingthat they will get what they
need over the course of the day.
Now, going back to this pointreally quickly, I know it's
really hard to feed kids and doall the things that have to
happen in the morning andsometimes our kids aren't eating
or not wanting to eat becausethey don't see us eating.
(28:08):
And this was something Ilearned the hard way, especially
with my youngest, where I waslike up and busy and in the
kitchen and trying to finishpacking lunches and do all the
things, and my youngest, whojust started kindergarten this
year, didn't want to sit downand eat.
And I realized that when I satdown with her, even just for
five minutes, and she saw meeating something and she wanted
(28:30):
that connection piece.
We have to remember that, thatmodeling of us taking the time
to sit and eat something andnourish our bodies even if
you're just drinking coffee ornibbling on something until you
are ready to eat later you wantto think about the message that
you're sending your child,especially in the mornings,
before running out the door.
Sometimes our kids are like whyshould I eat if you're not
(28:52):
eating?
Or that's the message that'sbeing sent to them.
So if you have a child that'sstruggling with that, consider
what is happening in the morningand are there ways that you can
adjust the eating environmentto better support your kids and
the example and the message thatyou're sending them through the
way that you're approachingfood for yourself.
So last tip here and then I justhave one more kind of bonus tip
(29:13):
.
But last tip and we've talkedabout this, I'll just briefly
summarize is just to let go ofthose unrealistic expectations.
Again, your child doesn't haveor need to have a perfectly
colored bento box with differentcolors and flavors and cookie
cutter sandwiches in order tohave a healthy lunch.
And there has been so muchnegativity around packaged and
(29:35):
processed foods and yet weforget that these can be an
instrumental part of feeding andnourishing our kids and
ensuring, especially for pickyeaters, that they have something
that feels safe, especiallywhen they're at school and their
environment and things aredifferent for them.
It's okay if your child's lunchdoesn't look like what you see
on social media.
That is not a criteria forfeeding your child in a healthy
(29:56):
manner, and the most importantthing that you can do is be
attuned to your child's needsand what helps them feel safe
and enables them to enjoy foodwhen they are at school.
Now a couple of little bonustips to wrap up our episode for
today.
Number one is be aware of anyfoods that your child might be
(30:17):
showing an interest in.
So this is why I really loveschool environments or just
environments where your child isgoing to be exposed to other
foods.
So, whether the school isproviding something or your
child sees something thatsomeone else is eating, this is
really important to be attunedto and to pay attention to, and
I'll tell you why.
If you notice that your childis saying, oh, so and so had
(30:41):
these cookies or they got tohave a lollipop or a piece of
candy in their lunch, we want topay attention to those things,
because this is when we want totake that step and be proactive
about integrating the thingsthat our child is showing an
interest in.
It's really easy to controlwhat our kids have access to in
our home, but when you starthaving school-aged kids who are
(31:03):
now exposed to things that otherchildren are eating or, let's
say, your kids are getting olderand have more freedom and
flexibility over what they caneat or they can start buying
things at school I know for myoldest, who's in eighth grade
they have like a snack shack atschool where they can buy a cup
of noodles or ramen or pizzadays or a package of cookies.
(31:23):
We don't want those times to bethe only times that our kids
get access or exposure to someof the things that they're
starting to show an interest in.
So be proactive about takingnotice of that and trying to
incorporate it where possible.
Now, this doesn't mean you haveto buy every single thing that
your child's asking for orwanting, but it can be really
(31:43):
helpful when those things areintegrated in their lunchbox.
I know, just as an example, forthe longest time one of my kids
friends would bring fruit bythe foot, like those fruit
roll-ups, and that's just notsomething that we normally buy.
We'll do like fruit gummies,fruit snacks.
But we weren't buying fruit bythe foot for no particular
reason.
(32:04):
It just wasn't something thatwas on my mind to buy.
But one of my kids kept askingabout it because she saw her
friend have it.
And, sure enough, when we wentto the grocery store and they
happened to see it, that wassomething that came up like oh
mom, these are the ones that myfriend buys.
Can we try them?
Can we try them out?
And just because I saw thathigh interest that was starting
to kind of creep up in her mind,I wanted to incorporate that.
(32:27):
I wanted her to know that allfoods are safe.
We can incorporate and try lotsof different things.
And so we bought a box and wekind of rotate through different
things in that way where thingsthat they're showing an
interest in can start to beincorporated in their school
lunches.
Another thing I like to dohauling meals around the corner
here during this time of year orreally any candy centered
(32:49):
holiday when you start noticingthat they're putting out those
candies on the shelves whichhappens earlier and earlier, I
swear, every year it's okay tobuy the bag and maybe start
putting a few pieces in yourkids lunch or let them pick out
a couple pieces to take toschool.
This can be really helpful toprevent any particular food from
escalating on a pedestal intheir mind, and you're also
(33:12):
showing them that these foodsare safe and you are safe to eat
these things, and it's never athing like, oh, mommy doesn't
buy these foods or we're notallowed to eat these foods in
our house, and it onlyintensifies their desire and
longing for those foods.
So we want to be intentional,and that's just.
The tip is like be intentionalas your child is going to school
and being more aware of whatother kids are eating or what
(33:34):
they have access to.
Take notice and maybe beintentional about incorporating
some of those things in theirlunches too.
Last little bonus tip here isjust a couple red flags to be
aware of when it comes to yourchild and eating school lunches,
and we're going to talk moreabout this.
This is part of the reason whyI wanted to do a little mini
series on school related topics,because I know it's not as
(33:57):
straightforward as packing alunch for your child and sending
it to school.
Your child is likely hearingdiet, culture, dialogue, whether
it's from a well-meaningteacher or their health
curriculum or other kids thatthey're around.
So we're definitely going to beaddressing that.
But something I just wanted tobriefly address especially if
you have a pick, your eater orjust a more anxious child is
(34:19):
some things that can beimportant to tune into.
So if you notice your childconsistently not eating anything
that's being sent in theirlunches, or complaining that
they're not hungry at all atschool, or maybe you notice that
your child is anxious abouteating at school or is worried
about what other kids arethinking about them in terms of
(34:41):
eating or how they look eatingcertain things, these can be
things to just clue into.
Sometimes kids start feelingpeer pressure at young ages
about what they're eating, orthey're noticing or picking up
on what other kids are talkingabout, or kids saying things
like oh, I am not allowed to eatthat that has so much sugar in
it, or things that kids areregurgitating because they're
(35:03):
hearing it from their owncaregivers and that can
sometimes play a role in how ourkids feel about eating or
eating at school.
But we just want to look forreoccurring patterns as your
child consistently not eating atschool or avoiding eating or
scared of eating, or doesn'tfeel safe eating at school.
These are things we want totune into and potentially
(35:26):
intervene early if possible,especially if there are some
other things going on that aremaking it difficult or
challenging for them to eat.
So I hope this was helpful foryou.
Again.
I just wanted to give you somepractical tips to work with,
especially as so many of us arespending our kids to school at
this time of year.
As always, I would love to hearfrom you if you have any
(35:46):
questions, if you would likesome additional information or
if you have any special requestsfor our upcoming series on
school related topics,especially as it pertains to
food and body image andnavigating diet culture in
school.
I would love to hear from you.
Feel free to send an emailhello at crystalcargiscom.
(36:06):
You can always reply to any ofthe emails that come your way
over the course of the weeks andlet me know what's on your mind
.
And, as another reminder, Iwill stick my free little
planning cheat sheet in the shownotes for you that you can
download and print that out sothat you have more guidance when
it comes to planning lunchesfor your kids and it hopefully
(36:26):
can feel a little morestreamlined for you.
Well, I'm hoping that yourkiddos have an amazing year
ahead in school and thank you somuch again for tuning in.
I'm so appreciative of youbeing here with me.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode of the Lift the
Shame podcast.
For more tips and guidance onyour motherhood journey, come
connect with me on Instagram atcrystalcargis.
(36:47):
Until next week, mama, I'll becheering you on.
Bye for now.
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