Have you ever been accused of being a problem simply because you brought up a problem? In healthy relationships, it is essential that couples feel safe and are on the same page. It is normal to want your relationship to grow, and to wonder where the line is when it comes to bringing things to your partner's attention that you would like to change. However, there are red flags you need to be aware of particularly if you struggle with fawning, people pleasing, insecure attachment and tend to be the codependent partner in relationships.
In this episode, Lisa A. Romano Codependency Expert and Breakthrough Life Coach, helps us get clear about some communication guidelines that can help us make clear, logical, and fair decsions about our relationships.
- Does your partner accuse you of being the only problem simply because you want to talk about a problem?
- Are they passive-aggressive, and do they punish you for bringing up an issue you'd like to work out?
- Do they deny a problem exists at all, making it impossible for you to experience any movement forward in your relationship or resolution?
- Are you being gaslit, devalued, or ignored for talking about a real issue?
Consider these red flags, and also ask yourself:
- Does my partner have the willingness to listen?
- Are they capable of real change?
- Do they want to work on the relationship?
Before walking away or making any major life decisions, getting clear about your partner's behaviors, intentions, and level of willingness to discuss, change, or work on marital issues, allows you to act on your own behalf with confidence rather than codependently.
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