Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
There's a story
inside you, but for years it's
been silenced by fear,procrastination and not knowing
where to start.
You've survived storms, you'vewalked through valleys and now
it's time to turn your pain intopurpose and your story into a
book.
This is your moment.
Welcome to the 21 Day AuthorBoot Camp, where aspiring
(00:23):
writers become published authorsin just three weeks.
You don't have to do it alone.
You just have to say yes.
Turn your testimony into atitle, Turn your journal into a
journey, Turn your story into abook that outlives you.
(00:45):
The 21 Day Author BootcampEnrollment is open.
Visit wwwlisten.
Linda presents 1.com to sign up.
Spaces are limited.
Financing available.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Hey, hey, book club
family and everybody that is on
my facebook, my youtube linkedin, who's listening in from iheart
, spotify, pandora, amazon music.
Thank you all for joining ustoday.
Uh, we want to welcome you backto our listen linda book, I'm
(01:23):
your girl, dr Jacqueline Cox.
Okay, amen, amen, amen to God.
And tonight I'm trying to getyou know, still trying to get
into that rhythm.
I'm used to it, right, yeah,but it got a good ring to it.
Right, got a good ring to it.
(01:44):
So I'm Dr Jacqueline Cox andtoday, used to it, right, yeah,
but it got a good ring to it.
Right, got a good ring to it,dr Jacqueline Cox.
And today we're diving into thesequel to our very first pick of
the Listen Learn the Book Club,the best-selling novella Dead
Girl Walking.
Now Dr Audrey Ann brings usJane's journey, picking up Jane
(02:06):
Doerr's story where the firstbook left off.
I can't wait to see how shetakes us deeper into Jane's
world.
But before we start, I alwayshave to open with prayer.
So let us, father, thank youfor gathering us again around
your word and the power of storyas we step into Jane's next
(02:31):
chapter, grant us open hearts,thoughtful questions and a
spirit of community.
Bless Dr Adrienne and everyreader here.
Let this time refresh our faithand sharpen our hope in jesus
mighty name.
Okay, amen.
(02:52):
So for those who don't know you, dr adrian which is hard not to
know you if they know me, honey, because you, me and you, we
connected at the hip but for ournew folks, can you tell people
who you are, what you do?
Speaker 3 (03:06):
yes, um, I am Dr
Adrienne Moses and I am a
Christian life coach, an author.
I don't know how many times Godhas blessed me to be a
bestseller, but I appreciate himand that blessing and
award-winning for some of mywritings.
(03:29):
I spend a lot of timecollaborating with Ms Listen,
linda, dr Jackie Cox, and Ireally appreciate her.
I live in Greenwood, southCarolina, and I am, like I said,
(03:54):
I'm a Christian life coach andI'm an author and I'm retired
United States Navy and so I justenjoy life.
I have my beautiful garden andI spend a lot of time in there,
me and Jesus.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
And so I just enjoy
life, amen, amen.
Now we're going to dive into,we're going to kind of get a
little context.
So dead girl walking ended withJane at a crossroads, free from
her, but she was still carryingfear and grief.
Now Dr Arden, still carryingfear and grief.
Now, dr Irene, how did youdecide exactly where to pick up
(04:29):
Jane's story and Jane's journeyand what felt most important to
show first in her new life toyou?
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Well, I actually
picked it up where I left her
off at, which was making adecision and preparation.
Well, in all of my books, asall of you know, and at the end
of my book, whatever is at theend of my book, that's how I
start the next book and I maychange a few things just to kind
(04:58):
of make it come up to date orwhatever.
But at the end of Dead GirlWalking, she was making the
decision to move and she hadcontacted.
Well, her sister contacted her,which helped her to make that
decision.
And so her sisters were.
(05:23):
People use the word estranged,which I still don't understand
why, because to me estrangedmeans that you're like angry or
something.
But they weren't angry, theywas just raised wrong.
They weren't raised to be close, their parents did not raise
(05:45):
them to be close.
So what happened is they justkind of all went their own way,
but she was the one that was themistake.
You know how some people saythat oh, he was the mistake, god
don't make mistakes.
And it took her to be grown torealize that, because she was
never taught that God did notmake mistakes.
(06:07):
So it ended that ended with hermaking the decision to move and
Jane's journey opened with hermaking the preparations to move.
So everything is in place,everything is set up, and Jane's
(06:28):
journey and dead girl walking.
She was going to get the train,you know.
So she was going to get thetrain and go to Beaufort.
But there was a, there was aswitch at the beginning of
Jane's journey and I might reada little bit of that for you.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Good, because that
was going to be my next question
.
So with chapter two it openswith feeling slightly nauseous,
but not sick, then quietlythanking God that her abuser was
behind bars.
Now, that blend of bodilyqueasiness you know women, we
(07:06):
know spiritual relief that kindof echoed her trauma and her
resilience.
Yeah, how did you craft thatopenness thing to connect back
to Jane's dead girl days whilepointing us towards her new hope
?
Speaker 3 (07:21):
she, her husband, was
very abusive and basically, you
know, as wives, you know bothof us are wives and so as wives,
(07:42):
or even as girlfriends, butespecially as wives, we don't
ever like to say our husbandsraped us.
You don't ever like to say thatbecause it just nullifies the
whole idea of marriage.
But in her case, her husbandwas very mean to her and he was
drunk and he was abusive, like Isaid.
He was abusive, like I said,and he, he, he made her yeah,
(08:13):
yeah.
You know he raped her and and soas a result of that she got
pregnant.
So they already had one childand she was always shielding
herself and her child from him.
And so now you know, she'spregnant with another child, but
(08:33):
in the meantime he does end up,because of the abuse, a
neighbor called the police andcalled DSS, and so he was taken
out.
Actually he was taken to jailand she was able to have some
relief and she was able to getthe help that she needed.
So so the.
So chapter two does begin withher feeling a little nauseous,
(08:57):
because now she's far enoughalong in her pregnancy that she
is definitely pregnant, she andshe is dealing with that and
dealing with trying to pack up,to move and dealing with a lot
of other things that are goingon in her life.
So, yeah, she, she woke up alittle nauseous and and that
(09:21):
chapter just goes on to talkabout again the relationship
with her and one of her mentors,mrs Johns, who was her savior.
You know, we always say we allhave an angel.
Well, mrs Johns was Jane'sangel and she took care of Jane
and she took care of herdaughter, ruth, and took her out
of that dangerous situation,ruth and took her out of that
(09:43):
dangerous situation.
So on this particular day shewas getting dressed to go to
church with Mrs Johns and shedidn't want to be late, but she
was feeling kind of wheezy andthen, you know, she had to get
her daughter up.
You know how that is.
So you know that's kind of whatshe was talking about, you know
(10:03):
.
And then she was talking aboutin that chapter chapter, what
the preacher.
The preacher was saying thateven though we have bad people
in our life, we still have toforgive them.
And I know and that's a hardpill to swallow, you know it's a
(10:27):
hard pill to swallow, you knowit's.
It's like, it's like havingthis size where's my camera.
It's like having this sizecapsule.
You know that we got to put indown in our throat and get it
down, because it's we're sayingGod, why do I have to forgive
these people that have treatedme so horribly all my life?
And that's what the preacherwas preaching about.
And so she was trying to soakall of that in.
(10:47):
And he was also preaching about, you know, just loving on
people regardless.
You know the Bible says loveour enemies, yeah.
And so you know she was justtrying to swallow all of that at
the same time that everythingelse was going on.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I can feel her on
that, honey, because you know
God's still working on me.
There's some things.
Look, god's telling me you gotto forgive these folks and I be
trying, I really do, I be tryingEvery time.
I try and I forgive them.
Here they come with somethingelse or bring this stuff back up
(11:31):
and it's like why don't thesepeople just go away?
Speaker 3 (11:36):
But you know what
it's like when Satan knows what
his job is.
I tell people this all the timeand I have to tell myself Satan
is very clear on his assignmentand he makes sure that he does
his assignment perfectly everytime.
And so what we have to know isthat he is not going to miss a
(12:02):
beat.
If we give him a space, thatlittle pinhole space, to get
into our heads, he's going inthere and he's going to make us
crazy.
So what we have to do is tojust make sure we are on our
assignment, because Jesus is onhis assignment, and so we just
(12:25):
have to let jesus do his job,you know, so we have.
I mean, you know, I'm 70 yearsold and I I'm learning.
I learned it, I learned it, butI still have to practice it
every day.
You know, let me just punch himone time, you know, but um, but
(12:47):
the lord is like I got this andso.
And jane had to learn that,because nobody had ever taught
jane that in her entire life,you know, and she was so tired
of trying to fight for herselfwhen her siblings didn't fight
for her, her parents didn'tfight for her.
You know, her siblings or herparents was the bulk of her
(13:10):
problem, yeah, you know.
And then she had to deal withproblems at school and then she
married somebody that shethought loved her men and women.
You both know how that isbecause men have married women
that they thought loved them andcome to find out women just
wanted them for what they had orwhat they could provide.
(13:32):
You know so.
Yeah, so you know she, she hadto learn that there is this man,
above all men, that will loveher and that will take care of
her if she just allow him to,you know.
(13:52):
And so she's going through andshe's thinking about all of this
in her head as she's goingthrough.
You know so now she's learned.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I want to get
into.
When Jane watched little Ruthsleep her two middle fingers was
a constant comfort.
Now in this book, Jane'sidentity as a mom deepens.
How did you build on theRuth-Jane dynamic from Dead Girl
(14:22):
Walking and what new layers didyou want readers to see in
their bond together, Ruth andJane?
Speaker 3 (14:30):
okay, so Ruth is
Jane's first child and, um, and
you know, most, most mothershave a special bond with their
first child, but Ruth, but Janewas the last child of her mother
and Jane and her mother had norelationship at all.
(14:51):
Now, I mean, they made sure shehad food to eat and they found
a rag or two to put on her soshe didn't have to walk the
street naked, but basically theyhad no love, no compassion.
No, there was no, nothingbetween them and her.
You know, there was nothingbetween her and her mother, no
(15:12):
kind of bond or her father.
You know, I was my father'sbaby girl.
So even when things weren'tworking well between my mother
and I, I had that safety, thosewings that I could go under with
my dad.
But she had neither you know.
And so when she had her daughter, she said that she would
(15:34):
forever make sure that herdaughter knew that she was loved
and and and.
So when she was watching herdaughter she said her daughter
always suck her two fingers.
And I know one of my sons did Ican't remember if the other one
did as much and a couple of mynieces, you know, they suck
(15:54):
those two, these two fingers, oreither these two fingers, you
know, and it was like thecomfort for her.
You know, um, she said, likeeven when she was little, um,
she didn't always have to giveher a bottle to put her to sleep
.
You know, she, once she wastired, you know she, she knew
she was tired when she would seeher sitting in the corner or
(16:17):
walking around sucking herfingers, you know, and so she
knew she was tired and she wouldlove on her and get her to bed.
So, and she felt like at thatmoment that even though Ruth was
a baby she was like three yearsold, she said she felt that
Ruth knew that there was changesbeing made, and then she knew
(16:39):
that there was stress and shewas feeling that stress.
As hard as her mother tried tokeep it from her, she was still
feeling that stress and so thatwas her comfort, you know,
absolutely.
She was saying she wanted, shewanted to shield her daughter
from feeling.
You know the stress that shewas feeling.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, and I think all
kids, even adults, we have that
soothing mechanism that we runto right.
Mine is Pepsi, I don't knowwhat yours is, but mine is Pepsi
and Duke's.
When he was a baby he wouldactually pinch people's elbows
and that was his soothingmechanism and to this day we can
(17:23):
be walking and he would just ifwe're going like on a walk or a
hike or something.
Even yesterday he's holding onthere.
No, he still pinches my elbow.
That's just what, that's histhing, and it used to hurt when
he was a baby, but it don't hurtas much now.
But I think babies have likesuperpowers, yeah Right, but now
he does that and that's hissoothing mechanism.
I think babies have likesuperpower strength often
(17:44):
because it hurts.
But now he does that and that'shis soothing mechanism and
that's what keeps him calm whenhe's like open and stuff.
So I definitely understand that.
Sucking the fingers I used tosuck my thumb.
My sister used to suck herthumb when she was like 17.
Right, so we all have thatthing, that we kind of, yeah, we
all have something and, likeyou said, yours is your garden,
(18:08):
right, that's your go-to.
Mine is Pepsi, that's my go-to.
Oh, yes, I definitely relatedto that.
It just felt good to kind ofsee her blend and bond with her
baby more, because she was sodistracted in dead girl walking
that her baby was always withMiss John, so bad.
(18:34):
I thought about Ruth, exceptthat she existed right, or she
was like with the baby.
Her baby was always with MissJohn.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
I'm listening to you,
but for some reason my phone is
talking at the same time.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yeah, I don't know
how to turn it off.
Yeah, just come out of Facebook.
Come out of Facebook.
Yeah, so OK, that's bad.
Oh, there we go, I fixed it OK,yeah, so in chat let's.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Let's sorry y'all
it's not very mechanically.
And well, what is ittechnologically?
She said mechanic yeah, I'msorry, I'm back now.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Okay, we're back, I'm
back.
So in chapter three Ms Johnslipped James a Jesus paper on
2nd Timothy 2 and 15.
That's a tool that she leanedon a lot in the story.
Now you introduced that twicelate in the first novella.
(19:43):
Here comes the road map.
Map right.
What made you expand it intodefining a defining thread for
jane's spiritual journey thistime around?
Speaker 3 (19:56):
um, so she, you know,
uh, mrs.
Well, first of all, for thoseof you who have not read Jane's
Journey, which you got to readJane's Journey, I mean Dead Girl
Walking, because the one of theways she learned about Mrs
Johns is Miss Johns was theneighbor that came around
(20:20):
leaving what what Jane calledJesus papers on everybody's
doors, leaving what Jane calledJesus papers on everybody's
doors, and what they actuallywere were some sort of a
religious tract or Bible studiesor something that she would
leave, you know, and that washer ministry.
You know, she was just tryingto introduce everybody she could
to Jesus and so that was herministry.
(20:42):
And, jackie, while I'm talking,can you find that?
And so they could hear what itsays actually, and so, so that's
when, when, in this chapter,she was reading it and she said
(21:02):
was reading it, and she saidthat.
She said the pastor taughtabout studying about the word of
God, and he said that he talkedabout Timothy and how Timothy
had to study, you know, to showhimself approved, to show that
he was worthy.
And she was trying to figure outwhy does somebody have to show
(21:26):
themselves worthy, you know, andshe just couldn't figure that
out.
And I know a lot of times weall go through that where we're
trying to figure out why do wehave to show ourselves worthy?
You know, of what we know andwhat we don't know.
You know.
So that was really hard for herto understand.
(21:48):
Again, she didn't.
She was not introduced to Bibleor Jesus or anything until she
met Mrs Johns.
So you know she had neverpicked up a Bible in her entire
life.
So you know.
So she didn't know all of thesedifferent people that Mrs Johns
was um connecting her with.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Absolutely, and you
want to find that scripture?
Yes, ma'am, okay, I'm about toput the scripture up, um, for
people to see it.
Um, so give me one second Okay.
It so give me one second Okay.
And I wanted you to kind of, Iwanted to ask you, like, what
(22:31):
made you expand it into adefining thread for her journey
this time around?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Because she, she was
still struggling about what kind
of relationship she was goingto have with God, and Mrs Johns
was telling her the way to knowwho Jesus is and the way to have
a relationship as she was withher with these studies was that
(22:59):
she had to study herself.
She had, she had to.
She had to learn how.
You know what the Bibleactually says.
So, and and she was telling herthat she had to learn not to be
afraid.
She had to learn that the Biblewas her friend and that Jesus
(23:21):
was her friend and that she didnot have to be ashamed of
learning these things or eventalking about them to other
people, you know.
So that was the basis she waslearning, and this was one of
the scriptures.
It was Mrs John's favorite andit eventually became one of her
(23:42):
favorites as well.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Absolutely.
She went back to that scripturea lot, and here's the scripture
right here at the Bible yeah,so can you.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
And which version is
this one?
It says do you best.
Do your best to presentyourself to God as one approved,
a worker who does not need tobe ashamed and who correctly
handles the word of truth.
So meaning that go ahead,Jackie.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
The new international
version New international, okay
.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
So you know.
Basically, like I said, it'ssaying that you know, learn,
learn it, learn the scripturesfor yourself and then don't be
ashamed that you want to have arelationship with God.
Don't be ashamed to tell otherpeople about God.
Don't be ashamed to even talkto the people that don't like
(24:40):
you, your, you know your family,your family and just tell them.
The reason I'm not acting crazyaround you all is because I'm
learning to have a relationshipwith Christ and he's keeping me
calm.
And that's what we have tosometimes.
We just have to tell peoplelook, if it wasn't for Jesus,
(25:02):
and just walk away.
Just say if it wasn't for Jesusand just walk away.
Just say if it wasn't for Jesus, you know, and just shake your
head and just be like just don'ttalk to me no more.
You know so because because youknow I'm trying to be approved.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
You know amen look
like I always say right, I just
when I get up there, I just wantmy ticket to scan at the gate,
I don't want no problems withthe law up there.
So I really do my best.
I really do because I don'twant to be like them people,
like the people that was at theWilly Wonka chocolate factory
(25:42):
that couldn't get in becausetheir ticket don't scan.
I want my, I want my stuff toscan, I want to make it through
the gate.
I know you don't want noproblem.
We don't want to.
We still got to push through it.
Y'all, look, I'm with y'all.
I'm with y'all.
I'm not all the way there, butI promise you I'm with you.
(26:05):
I'm with y'all.
I know all the way there, but Ipromise you I'm with you, I'm
trying.
I'm trying.
At 36 years old, lord Jesus, Iam trying my best.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
So we're going to get
into the program.
Listen to this real quick.
At the end of chapter three,what she did was she took all
the Jesus papers that Mrs Johnshad given to her and she put
them in a binder to take withher on her journey, you know.
And so she had them all in abinder and she was saying she
(26:36):
said, while at Mrs Johns, Idecided to put them in a binder
so they wouldn't get lost and Icould read them later.
The more she pranced around herhouse singing her Jesus music
Now she's talking about MrsJohn's.
She's saying the more MrsJohn's prances around her house
(26:57):
singing her Jesus music andreading her Bible loud enough
for me to hear and listen to hertalk about different things,
the more important I realizedher papers were.
They were talking about thethings she was teaching me.
And the more I listened to herand about Jesus and the more I
(27:19):
listened to Dr Matthews tell mehow I have to control.
I have the control over whathappens to me the more I begin
to realize I didn't have to livethe way I was raised.
I begin to realize I don't haveto be Jane Doerr, aka dead girl
walking.
(27:39):
I begin to realize I no longerhad to be afraid of stepping
away from my toxic, toxic familyor my toxic husband.
I realized that Jesus paved away for me.
I just had to be willing towalk it.
Once I allowed myself torealize that and believe it.
(28:00):
I knew me and Jane would bejust fine.
And believe it, I knew me andJane would be just fine.
You have to realize it.
You have to read it, hear it,smell it, taste it.
You know, touch it.
But after all of that you haveto allow yourself to accept it
(28:20):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
You have to allow it.
Yes, lord, absolutely.
I agree.
We cannot.
Yes, lord, absolutely I agree.
We cannot say that we wantthese things and then, when god
give them to us, we don't acceptit, right?
Yeah, I really love jane boycein the story, has she just like
her character and she remindedme a lot of me you guys like and
(28:41):
how I talk.
She talk a lot like me, talkingabout Jesus papers and Jesus
music and all these things.
Yes, they keep coming in.
They know I'm live because theyhear me talking, but they just
keep coming through this door.
Thank God for these beautifulbackgrounds.
Okay, compliments to thepublisher.
Y'all can't see them.
Listen to the brand of our kids.
(29:01):
Y'all can't see these baby kids.
The kids behind me keep tryingto come in.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
That's okay so we're
gonna move right on.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
I said, hello, they
gonna take over the whole show
and I ain't got this is nothing.
Y'all save me the segment.
Okay, this is the list oflittle books.
Catch them on another grad,okay.
So, getting into your prologue,which was like one of the best
parts of the book to me, and insession six it reminds us um,
(29:34):
the caterpillar has to die first.
That quote to this day I don'tknow if you might hear me like
on some of my podcasts and stuff, while I always said a
caterpillar, the caterpillar hasto die first.
I got that from you and thebook.
Just want to let y'all know Iclipped that because I thought
it was that.
(29:54):
That one was so dynamic to me,just like I heard elephants
don't swat flies.
Same Same thing, like a verysmall sentence might have a very
big impact.
Now, going from that toButterfly Image, it was powerful
in Dead Girl Walking.
(30:15):
How did you evolve it for thesequel showing Jane's further
transformation?
Speaker 3 (30:23):
Mm-hmm.
So in Dead girl walking, youknow, she was, you know, just
trying to figure it all out.
And then she was, you know,trying to figure out her new
life.
So she, she's traveling now inJane's journey.
(30:45):
She's on her journey and she'straveling to her new life.
You know, with her, with hersister, a new family and new
adventures.
But at the same time, you know,she is still really terrified
because she doesn't really knowher sister.
Her sister is like way olderthan her.
(31:06):
She doesn't really know hersister, she doesn't really know
anything about the area she'smoving to.
Everything is new.
But she just figured it can't beany worse than where she is.
And she said worse comes toworse.
If she ends up with no supportthere, that too can't be any
worse than what she had, becauseshe didn't have any support at
(31:30):
home either, except for MrsJohns and her counselor, dr
Matthews, were her only support.
You know she had no supportfrom friends or family or
anybody else.
So she said the worst thing canhappen is I end up with no
support, you know, in this newplace.
(31:50):
But she was praying that Godwould give her blessings and
that it would be a good newbeginning for her.
So, so, as she goes on, she's,she's, she's beginning to learn
how to do things differently,you know, and she's beginning to
(32:10):
.
She's beginning to learn howshe is evolving.
And you know, caterp,caterpillars, they have to
evolve into these big, beautifulbutterflies.
So so, jane's journey, she isstill.
She hadn't hatched yet.
She's getting there, you know,but she is going through that
process of of maturing into hernew self and and away from Jane
(32:37):
Doerr to Jane Burton, you know.
So she's moving away from thatlife of Jane Doerr, you know,
which, which you know is thename she was given by her
parents absolutely.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Now Jane wrestles
with forgiveness, like forgiving
her abuser right, whileprotecting Ruth and setting
boundaries.
Now, in a sequel, you can divedeeper into nuance.
How did you balance Jane'sgrowth in mercy with her need
for safety, and what do you hopethat readers can take away from
(33:14):
that tension?
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Well, you know, I
would be telling a really,
really big fib if I said it waseasy, because it's not easy.
It's not.
Jane is, you know.
As far as I'm concerned, janeis a real person, you know.
Jane's story is a real person,you know, and anybody that has
(33:41):
had to make a drastic change intheir life, them knows that when
(34:01):
you're making that drasticchange, you are going to have to
allow yourself to trust peoplethat you don't know.
She has tried to trust thepeople she does know and they
have turned on her every time.
She did not know God at all andnow she has this Mrs John's, um
, jesus, lady, you know thatthat there's a man that loves
(34:24):
her more than any blood brotheror sister or mama or daddy could
ever love her, and she's tryingto figure out who he is and why
should I believe you so?
And her oldest sister?
She is, that's where she'sgoing to go to live who she
hadn't seen except once in about, you know, 15 years, and so
(34:49):
she's.
The sister invited her to comeand live with them and she
accepted the invitation.
But the entire time she'sterrified because what happens
if I get there and then theytreat me bad or they drop me off
on side the road or, but worse,don't even come and pick me up.
You know, then, what you know.
(35:13):
so her trust level was very,very, very minimal, and she had
to learn how to hear Jesustelling her it's going to be all
right, yeah, and to openingherself up to her sister.
Now, what she didn't do thatsome people do is she didn't
walk in there with an attitude.
(35:37):
No, she did not, and her sister,tamara, did not meet her with
an attitude.
So that was a beginning thatwas perfect, because that
beginning helped both of them tostart to really learn each
other, and so, and because ofthe way Tamara treated her,
(36:00):
helped her to start learning howto trust others and to teach
Ruth to trust.
Well, you know how kids are.
Ruth was three and soon as Ruthsaw her cousin, she was gone.
Soon as Ruth saw her cousin,she was gone.
You know, and you know, youknow how kids are.
They just play with any kids,you know.
(36:26):
And so Ruth was more open andit helped.
It actually helped her motherto feel more comfortable.
So, you know, we have to learn.
I try to put learning lessons inall of my books, and this
particular one is, excuse me, wehave to learn how to just allow
God to help us, to let otherpeople help us.
You know, we are terrified orwe are just stubborn or whatever
(36:49):
it is, and I don't need no help, you know.
But yeah, everybody needs helpand I don't need no help, you
know.
But yeah, everybody needs help,everybody needs love, everybody
needs, everybody needs an armaround their shoulder and a
shoulder to cry on if they needit.
We just have to allow ourselvesto do it.
To be it to you know, we justhave to allow ourselves, and
(37:11):
sometimes that can be difficult.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
It used to be really,
and I kind of a little bit
still struggle with that today,and I think it's because of,
first of all, it's rejection,then second, you know, I think
it was it's probably becauseI've allowed people to come in,
because if you're not fully inprayer and you don't ask God
first and I used to always justjump without asking God, and it
(38:00):
always have to discern who'sreally in your corner, and you
got to pray on those and godwill reveal it to you.
So you know when you, when youallowing people to do it, you
got to trust god and and youreally have to know that whoever
god sends is going to revealitself.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
Um, it's going to
reveal itself.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
I kind of struggle
with allowing people to help me
with things because of thosejust rejection I used to.
I couldn't stand the word no.
So somebody told me, no, I'm,I'll do it myself.
Then forget it, and then I willlearn how to do, and then I
would do it effortlessly.
But at the same time, you know,I pray to God for these gifts
(38:43):
to be able to do things bymyself.
But then I always find myselfdrained because I can't.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
I couldn't trust
people exactly exactly now, and
I'm really I was just going tosay that even in myself, you
know as much.
Thank you, miss Melanie.
As much strength, hey, missCarolyn, as much strength as I
(39:12):
feel like I have learned to have, as much strength as I feel
like I have learned to have, Istill find myself sometimes in
that space where it's like it'sonly just me.
God, you know Ezekiel, if youremember the story about Ezekiel
and he was running from Jezebeland he ran into the cave and
(39:36):
God was like what you doing inthere?
And he said, well, it's onlyjust me, by myself, I'm just the
only one and I just and youknow, he just complaining and
whining and God was like shut up.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
What makes you think
first of all?
What makes you think you're theonly one think first of all,
what makes you think you're theonly one?
That's the first question Ihave.
I have, I have peopleeverywhere.
You're not the only one youknow.
And so sometimes I have toremind myself that I'm not the
only one going through.
Whatever it is I'm goingthrough, and just like God is
(40:10):
taking care of them, he can takecare of me.
Amen, if I, if I don't allowmyself to be stubborn, if I
don't allow myself to be so inmyself, that I'm sabotaging my
own blessing because I'm runningaround like a chicken with my
head cut off and I'm notallowing God to tell me what I
need to do next.
(40:30):
And so we, you know, we have tojust chill, and that's what
Jane was learning that shereally doesn't have to do it.
She's learning it.
She has not learned it.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
She's learning that
she, she, she's not alone in
this world no no, she's notalone and getting back to Jane,
I want to briefly go into theLisa Thompson starting over poem
(41:04):
.
Right To that poem.
I'm trying to pull it up rightnow because I want to read it.
Yeah, it's on the front of thebook.
Yeah, I want to read it.
Yeah, it's in the front of thebook.
Yeah, so Lisa M FergusonThompson wrote this poem on
September 26, 2023.
And it's starting over.
(41:25):
What will I face?
Will it be a fresh start in anew place?
Will it be new discoveries or arepeated past?
I need to slow down and notmove so fast.
Am I starting with or withoutgrace?
Lord, slow my feet and steadymy pace.
My decisions are never my own.
Lord, guide me and usher meinto a new home, starting over.
(41:50):
What will I face?
Is it a fresh start in a newplace?
What will I face?
Is it a fresh start in a newplace?
Go ahead.
So, going into that.
The book still leans on thatpoem, poetry frame, carol's
first, first story.
(42:11):
How did keeping that devicehelp Jane's journey across both
values?
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Say the last part
again.
You was breaking up.
I couldn't hear.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
I said how did
keeping that device, that poem,
help Jane's journey across bothvalues, journey across both?
Speaker 3 (42:34):
volumes.
So, jane, when Lisa and I areNavy buddies, we met you know
she's like one of my sistersbecause we've been together
since our children were babiesand she's a poet and I asked her
(42:58):
to write a.
I you know she knew the storyof dead girl walking and um, so
I asked her to write this poemabout starting over and the
reason I wanted to.
I wanted the poem because Iwanted um Jane to have something
that would help her to to crossover that threshold.
You know I wanted her becauseleaving dead girl walking and
(43:20):
going into Jane's journey, likeI said earlier, is a new life, a
new adventure.
It's new and I don't want herto continue to dwell on the past
, although the past is there,she can't change it.
You is there, she can't changethis.
You know you can't change yourpast, but and so it's there.
But I wanted her to dwell moreon what's happening to her now
(43:45):
and in the future, as opposed towhat happened to her.
So I wanted her to alwaysremember that this is a new
starting point for her and, likewhen we went in the military,
in the Navy more so than any ofthe other services we transfer
(44:08):
every three years, most of thetime, sometime every four, but,
you know, every three years, youknow, or four years, we are
moving to a new place and we'redoing the same job, but we're
doing it.
You know, yesterday I was doingmy job in California.
Today I'm doing my job, youknow, in Louisiana, you know so,
(44:29):
and you're with a whole newgroup of people, a whole new
setting, a whole new town, awhole new everything.
You know, the grocery store youused to go to in California
doesn't exist in New Orleans,and you know so.
Those are the things that youhave to deal with.
Well, with Jane it was going tobe the same way.
She is leaving the only placeshe has ever known and she's
(44:52):
going to someplace she has neverbarely heard of, has ever known
, and she's going to someplaceshe has never barely heard of.
And I wanted her to use that asa starting point, um, for her
new life, completely.
So that's why I asked, um, missLisa, to write that poem for me
, so that Jane would have thatthread, that crossover over.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
So I know you say you
were going to grace us with an
excerpt.
Can you read an excerpt fromthe book before we close out
today, because I want to kind ofgive people just a kind of
sneak peek into this wonderfulbook with this glorious color.
Look at that color, ain't itbeautiful?
Speaker 3 (45:38):
color, ain't it
beautiful?
Yes, so, so I'm gonna stickwithin um chapters one, two and
three, absolutely.
Um well, actually there was onething I wanted to talk about.
Um, she originally was going tocatch the train, but then her
sister, knowing she's pregnant,knowing she has a toddler,
decided the train was not theanswer, and so she wrote, she
(45:59):
put her on an airplane and sentfor her on an airplane, and she
had never been on an airplanebefore.
So that was another.
You know this, this transitionwas full of firsts for her and
it was full of different typesof adventures for her you know.
so I just wanted to kind of putthat in there.
But I wanted to read um, oh,let me go back to when we were
(46:32):
talking about the pastor, youknow, and the sermon that the
pastor was preaching.
It says today is our last dayvisiting her Mrs John's church
before we move away.
The preacher talked aboutloving and forgiving people even
though you don't want to.
(46:52):
You know, even though you don'twant to.
We talked about that verse.
I just shook my head.
I just shook my head.
Mrs Johns patted me on the leg.
The preacher must have saw mebecause he smiled as he said God
does not expect us to befriends with everyone, not even
(47:13):
family.
He says God expects us to helppeople like he helps us and to
forgive people when they arewrong, when they have wronged us
.
Because why should he forgiveand love us if we don't do the
same for others?
When we were walking out, thepastor shook my hand and gave me
a hug.
(47:34):
He also gave the same forothers.
When we were walking out, thepastor shook my hand and gave me
a hug.
He also gave me the name of hisfriend who has a church in
Beaufort.
He said I will like it thereand we'll be just fine.
I told him I was keeping MrsJohn's Jesus papers, so I'll be
okay.
He looked at Mrs Johns.
(47:54):
She just smiled and we walkedout because he didn't know what
she was talking about about theJesus papers.
After we ate, I took Ruth to thepark so she could enjoy herself
for a little while.
Even though it's a little bitchilly, she still loves running
around in the park.
She is getting bigger andbigger.
(48:16):
I feel bad.
She won't grow up around herdad or any of her family here in
New Orleans or Mississippi.
Dr Matthews said it's myresponsibility to keep her safe,
physically and emotionally,even if it means keeping her
away from toxic environments.
Hopefully one day I'll be ableto take her around them without
(48:40):
too much trouble, hopefully.
So you know, not only is shehaving a transition, but Ruth is
having a transition becauseRuth is no longer going to be
around.
Her father is having atransition because Ruth is no
longer going to be around herfather.
Ruth well, ruth didn't evenreally know her grandparents on
(49:01):
either side, or aunts and uncleson either side, but it was
still.
Her heritage was being uprooted, as well as Ruth's, as well as
Ruth, as well as James was, andshe wanted to make sure that she
took care of her, but she alsohad to make sure part of that
taking care of her was keepingher away from people that were
(49:25):
going to do her harm as opposedto good.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Because she had to
protect her baby at all costs.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Yeah, we have to
protect our babies and you see
fathers doing it more and morenow, which I'm happy for.
You see fathers doing it moreand more now because now some of
these mothers are the toxicones.
And you see fathers takingtheir babies away from these
mothers so that the baby youknow don't are not harmed.
(49:56):
You know, and, and I'm like,whatever needs to happen, happen
so you can take, you know,raise these babies so that they
can be productive adults, notend up locked up or dead
somewhere because they had toxicmothers.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Yeah, because you
know, it gets so confused with
this, the mindset of the society, not just today, but just
really the last 30 years and the60s and 70s, fathers were very
(50:37):
prominent in the kids lives.
But then, you know, a lot ofthings start happening and the
fathers just start getting, youknow, but people keep uh, never
really look at the mindset ofthe mother.
They're going through um, uh,what is it?
Uh, not post-traumatic stressdisorder, but um, what do you
call it?
Postpartum depression, andthey're going through all these
(50:58):
other things, trying to maintaineverything as a single mom, or
you know.
And then they also daddy issues, mommy issues.
They're not, they're notmentally stable to handle taking
care of these kids bythemselves.
And so mix that along withhormonal and emotional issues.
It's just a disaster waiting tohappen and they're not fit.
(51:21):
Yes and and.
But the government feels like,oh well, since it's the mom,
that's the best place for them.
And that's not always the case,because that goes even into how
we celebrate the parents.
Right, you got, you gotmother's day, and those days get
overshadowed.
I mean, gets, um, blew all upinto this fantastic celebration,
(51:45):
but then when we get tofather's day, it's very, very
tiny, and I think that's thereason why because you know, I'm
a daddy's girl.
I always been a daddy's girl.
Um, everybody who know, read anyof my literature, know me and
my daddy.
You know we were super close.
We were straying for a littlewhile but we got back super
(52:05):
close.
I always had a really goodrelation with my dad, despite
everything that I had wentthrough and me and my mom's were
was never like that, but that'sbecause she wasn't maternal,
you know, she wasn't, she didn'thave that.
Um, she didn't, she didn't havethat.
And and that's where my daddystepped up and you know.
(52:26):
And so when we came out, I wentwhen father's day came up, I
mean, when mother's day came upand I said OK, I'm looking for,
you know, boss, moms or moms orwhatever.
I got over a hundred entries,right, I had to pick and choose
from, but when it came tofathers, I couldn't pull a teeth
(52:47):
.
It was, it was.
So I was like you've got to bekidding me.
So nobody has any.
Like nobody has dad, um, likenobody has daddies, nobody has
brothers, nobody had uncles, andI would just like you know what
I'm just gonna do, most of themfree.
You know, I was like somebodyneeds to show the people that
(53:07):
there are really good dads outhere.
There are really good dads outhere.
I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 3 (53:13):
to tell you, my
husband really was proud of the
article and the picture andeverything.
And my son I had showed italready to my youngest son that
lives here.
But my oldest son doesn't livehere.
His family came down thisweekend and I showed it to him
this morning.
He was like, wow, this is nice,you know, because I wanted to
(53:37):
try to do it and not tell themabout it.
You know, you know I was havinga hard time pulling it together
, but but you know I'm going todo more stuff for them.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
At least you thought
about them.
It's fun to people who you know.
I just I couldn't wrap my headaround all the great dads, all
the great stepdads, all theuncles that that step in as
father figures.
You know, all the cousins, allyou know, and I was like so
nobody wants to celebrate them,but y'all would be quick to
bring up y'all and y'all mamas.
(54:10):
It was just, it was somethingelse to see and I literally,
literally, was calling people onthe phone like please put your
woo, woo, woo.
I'm doing this magazine and itwas.
It was so phenomenal and to seeand just to give it's a
beautiful magazine, give the mensomething to see.
Speaker 3 (54:29):
Let me go get it so
we can show it to them you got
it?
Speaker 2 (54:33):
Yes, ma'am, yeah it,
and so we can so show it to them
.
You got it, yes, ma'am.
Yeah, hold on one second, Ihave it, you don't have to leave
, okay, yeah, so I have it hereit is.
It's a beautiful magazine, yeahit just made my husband so proud
that he was on the front cover,but it just you know the words
(54:55):
from his kids that were in there, the words from the wives and
the people who nominated themand the nieces and everything,
and it just we need to show ourfathers that they are
appreciated.
Like they see mom all the timebut the dad I just I'm glad you
mentioned that.
Like they see moms all the timebut the dad I'm glad you
(55:16):
mentioned that.
But because there are somedeadbeat moms out here who don't
do what they're supposed to dofor their kids, who drop them
off to a level where we'll watchthem and oh I need a break.
Type mom.
And I get it.
Okay, I get it.
I know I get it Because Iwasn't always married.
I was a single mom for fouryears, working three jobs with
no car in the windy city,chicago, baby walking to work in
(55:36):
winter storms, no food in myhouse, maybe spend night over
foster mama house because Ididn't have food.
I had to choose between buyinggroceries and buying a bus car
for work, so I did.
But at the same time, if yougot a father in your child's
life, whether y'all together ornot, should not stop you from
(55:57):
allowing that dad to be a dad.
It should not be a dad ExactlyTo keep the child away from the
dad.
You know telling the child oh,you shouldn't want to go over
there because they got a newfamily.
And you know, just like yousupport the fact that a father
wants to be in the child's life,and that's all I'm saying,
(56:21):
exactly, I'm so glad it's reallygood, There'll be a little bit
about that in the next, and notin this book, but in the next
book.
Speaker 3 (56:36):
you know which?
We're not going to talk aboutthe next book at all.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
Oh, I'm going to ask
you my next question, so let me
just ask this question, then youjust give me what you want.
So we're looking toward bookthree, right?
So if Jane's journey leaves usat a new beginning, what future
chapters do you imagine for Jane?
Speaker 3 (57:00):
Well, jane is in
school because one of the things
she always wanted to do was bea teacher and she wanted to work
with little kids, you know, andshe wanted to work with kids
with disabilities.
So she is able to do that.
(57:21):
Once she moved to Beaufort,south Carolina, with her sister
and she enrolled in school andshe's starting her education as
an early childhood teacher andso that part is really going
(57:43):
well for her.
And and, like I said, she'sjust learning how to be learning
who she knew, who know she.
She just only uses Jane, butshe doesn't.
She's learning who is JaneSmith, who is Jane Burton, you
know, and so so she's learningthat now and and she's, you know
(58:16):
, learning how to have a joyfullife with her daughter.
And.
But she's also started schooland she's, in the next chapters
you'll see, you know, how she'shaving a relationship with her
sister.
Those are the things that she'slooking at right now, you know,
and, um, in the, in the nextbook, she just continues that
(58:37):
evolution, turning into abeautiful butterfly yeah, I'm
not gonna tell you no more.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
That was I mean this
book.
You guys, if you guys have notpicked up james journey or dead
girl walking, you can't get mad.
You can purchase them from.
But you can purchase them fromthis website right here.
Transitional um, transitionlife for youcom and dr audrey,
(59:08):
and we'll definitely, definitelymake sure you have them.
So if you don't have,autographed copy.
If you order them from thewebsite, you get autographed
copies yes, and so if you, ifyou gotta read, the person which
is dead girl walking is one ofmy favorite books of all time,
my top 10.
And then you got uh jane'sjourney, which is that beautiful
(59:30):
color, although y'all can seeit, but it's a magnificent cover
.
There you go.
Speaker 3 (59:33):
You know I'm going to
tell you all this young girl
called me up and said I'm doingyour cover.
I'm like what?
But what actually happened wasMiss Jackie she is phenomenal
with digital stuff, you know andso she and I were talking and
(59:58):
she created this just because weneeded something for this
trailer she was making, you know, and I saw it and I was like
that is beautiful, that's thecover.
And she's like, oh, I just didthat.
I wasn't really doing it forreal.
And I'm like, well, it's realnow.
Y'all see this beautiful.
(01:00:18):
Where's my camera?
Y'all see this beautiful cover.
It's beautiful, you know.
So, um, hey, get, get, get herto do your book covers.
It's beautiful.
So, um, she did a great job.
Now I had a little girl.
I know we get ready to hang up,but I just want you to see this
(01:00:40):
one.
I had a young girl in her 20sdid this one for me, you know,
and, and, and she, she did anawesome job.
Her name is Kendra Davis.
She lives in Augusta, georgia,and so if you live in Augusta
Georgia somewhere and you needbook covers, get in touch with
me and I will get you in touchwith Kendra.
(01:01:02):
She's phenomenal, especially ifshe likes bright and beautiful
butterflies, but she reallylikes dark and she knew I wanted
a dark cover and so so she madethis cover for me.
So, um, her name is KendraDavis, you can find her on
Facebook and Instagram and shelives in Augusta, georgia, so if
(01:01:26):
you need a book cover, let um,let me know and I'll reach out
to her, for you.
Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
She is phenomenal
because that first one, when I
first saw that book cover, I waslike, oh, this is good.
And you said her name is.
Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
Kendra.
Kendra K-E-N-D-R-A.
Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
Davis.
Okay, and that's her IG andFacebook name.
Speaker 3 (01:01:48):
Her IG is a little
bit different, but I'm sure
it'll pop up.
Yeah, but yeah, her Facebookname is her name and yeah, right
, Yep, that's her, okay, soDavis.
Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Hey Kendra, you did a
phenomenal job and we are
promoting your work right now.
Yes, yes, yeah, and, andsomebody we are promoting your
work right now.
Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Girl, yes, yes.
And somebody that I knew I wastelling them about the book.
And so they was like, I want toread your book.
And when I showed them thecover they was like, oh, I don't
know.
I said, hey, you want to readthis book.
You know, I named it, damn GirlWalking.
But if people see down here itsays what's in the name, and
(01:02:39):
people, I don't write horror,horror stories, but this lady
didn't know me so she was like,what is this about?
And so then I pointed to what'sin her name.
And then you know, and sheloved the book she it was, you
know, she loved it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
I loved it.
I remember when I first watchedand it was actually I want to
go back to saying this it wasactually the first choice for
the Listener in the Book Club.
It kicked everything off withDr Audrey Ann was the first book
.
So I'm so, so grateful to haveyou come back and next week we
(01:03:21):
will be speaking and kind ofdoing some some games, some
teasers, but also hopefully weget a chance to interact with
some of the book club membersMembers, that would be nice.
I want to thank you again forcoming and you know, like I
always do, we got to close outin prayer.
Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Yes, mm.
Hmm, you want me to pray?
Yeah, father, god, we thank you.
We thank you for your grace andyour mercy.
We thank you for being foreverand ever for us.
Father, we ask that, as we gothroughout this day, that you
will allow a Mrs Johns or a DrMatthews to reach out and touch
(01:04:06):
us and help us to understand howimportant you can be in our
lives if we just allow it.
Our lives, if we just allow it.
Father, I hope that you help usto reach out to someone, man or
woman, boy or child, that isfeeling like they are alone in
this world, and we can let themknow that not only do they have
us, but they have you.
So, father, I just thank youand I praise you.
(01:04:28):
I thank you, father, forletting my writing reach ears
that believe it's importantenough to make them bestsellers,
lord, and I thank you for justblessing me with the words that
you want me to write.
That's going to help somebodyelse.
And, lord, god, I thank you forMiss Jackie.
I thank you for all of herplatforms.
(01:04:49):
I thank you for her husband,who supports her unconditionally
, father, and I thank you justfor their boys as well, and I
ask that you bless thathousehold continuously and help
them to be a light on theirblock and in their city for you.
I thank you and I praise youfor all these things, father, in
the name of your son Jesus,amen.
Speaker 2 (01:05:11):
Amen.
Thank you so much again, Dr.
Audrey.
Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
Yes ma'am.
Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Always a pleasure,
Mama Audrey, to have you on the
show.
Speaker 3 (01:05:19):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
We are going to close
out with the video to Dead,
girl Walking and Jane's Journey.
Have a great rest of your day,guys.
All right.
Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
They called me Dead
Girl Walking, but my name is
Jane.
In New Orleans, names carryweight.
Mine was an anchor.
Through abuse, despair,invisibility.
I refused to drown.
I'm learning to see myselfthrough God's eyes, to hear my
own voice above the noise, towrite my own story page by page.
I am Jane and I am rising.
Dead Girl Walking.
(01:05:59):
What's in a Name by Dr AdrienneMoses, available now.
Discover the power of your truename.
Each step I take is a testamentto my resilience.
Every word I write is adeclaration of my strength.
I am not defined by my past butby the woman I am becoming,
jane, and I have been working onsome strategies to help her
build her sense of self-worth,self-identity and self-esteem.
(01:06:22):
She has been making progress,slow but sure, especially in
building her self-worth.
She is realizing that she isworthy, even if no one else
agrees.
She is identifying immediateand long-term goals she would
like to accomplish.
Today I noticed an immediatedifference in Jane.
Her hair was styled nicely.
Usually it's pulled back in aquick ponytail, no makeup but a
(01:06:45):
little bit of lipstick, pearlearrings and necklace.
She had on a simple dress thatfit her nicely, with a pair of
low-heel pumps.
This time I wasn't able to keepmy inside voice off of my face.
She smiled hey there, drMatthews.
How are you doing?
I'm well, jane.
How are you doing?
Good, I guess you almost didnot recognize me when I walked
in.
I read in one of those booksyou gave me that I have to look
(01:07:08):
the part I want to achieve.
So that's what I plan to dofrom now on.
Now, mind you, I did not throwaway my jeans and things.
I still like that look also.
But when I'm conductingbusiness I want to look like a
businesswoman, not like aneighborhood girl.
Mrs John has told me that Godgives me permission to move any
mountains that are in my way.
Do you know that scripture Mark11, 22, 25.
(01:07:29):
She said mountains in thescripture could represent my
obstacles.
It says that if I tackle anobstacle in Jesus' name, it has
no choice but to dissolve.
Satan can't live in the samehouse where Jesus lives.
You know Mrs Jonas is going tomake sure.
I know Jesus is the answer toturn every frown I have into a
(01:07:50):
smile.
If you have some questions inthe corners of your mind and
traces of discouragement andpeace, you cannot find
reflection of the old past.
They seem to face you every day.
There's one thing I know forsure that jesus is the way.
Jesus is the answer for theworld today.
Above him there's no other.
Jesus is the way.
Jane, I see there are a fewtalents you have been hiding.
(01:08:12):
You have a beautiful voice.
I hope you use it more often.
And yes, I love Andre Crouch'smusic.
He was one of my favoritegospel singers.
Yes, that song is anaffirmation of how to create a
Jesus atmosphere around yourlife.
Well, I'm doing something youare probably not going to like
being a Christian at all.
I filed for a divorce.
It will be final in a couple ofmonths.
(01:08:33):
I filed for a divorce.
It will be final in a couple ofmonths.
I decided I would not live mylife in fear of never being able
to be more than what I was.
You was.
Yes, ma'am, I was.
I have learned.
I am somebody special and I amworth more than I've been taught
and treated like all of my life, and definitely worth more than
a name all of my life anddefinitely worth more than a
(01:08:55):
name.
I have something else to tellyou that might make you a little
bit sad.
It made Mrs Jonas very sad.
I'm moving away.
I called my sister who is in theNavy.
She lives in Beaufort, southCarolina.
She will be retiring soon andshe bought a house in Beaufort,
not far from the water.
She and I had a long talk, doyou know?
She said she always hated theway everyone treated me like it
(01:09:18):
was my fault I was born.
She said it was not my fault,none of it.
She said she was sorry forleaving me to deal with it all,
but she had to leave in order tosave her own life.
She said if I wanted Ruth and Icould come live with her and
her family and I could have mybaby there, she would help me
get the proper services I need.
Buford, finished school.
Yes, ma'am, I'm going to finishmy degree and become a special
(01:09:42):
education teacher.
I know that I can make adifference for children who feel
they have been ostracizedbecause they are different.
What do you think of that?
Jane, that is a wonderful plan.
I am so happy to have met youand I'm honored you trusted me
enough to assist you along yourjourney.
We leave in a few weeks.
I have another doctor'sappointment and I have a few
other things which still need tobe wrapped up.
(01:10:03):
I have to pack out my littlebit of stuff.
Mrs Jonas had labeled a bunch ofstuff in her house to be sent
with Ruth and me.
She also had started a nurseryfor the baby.
I told her she didn't have todo that, but she insisted have
you spoken to your mother?
Does she know you are leaving?
I told her she doesn't care.
To be honest, I think she doescare, but she doesn't know how
(01:10:24):
to express it.
All of her favorite childrenstill don't check in on her like
she thought they would.
The only time she sees them iswhen they are dropping their
kids off or coming to ask formoney.
So you still don't want to knowthe gender of your baby.
No, ma'am, I wanted to be areal unhappy surprise.
Jane, do you remember when youfirst came to me, you described
yourself as a dead girl walking.
(01:10:45):
Well, missus, jane Burton, I amhappy you no longer refer to
yourself in such a way.
It has truly been a pleasureworking with you and if you ever
need to just talk, please call.
I have this card I'd like youto keep with you.
Read it whenever you need it Ifyou want to become successful
in life.
1.
Change your mindset.
You don't get in life what youwant, you get in life what you
(01:11:08):
are, dr Matthews.
Yes, jane, is it okay if I prayfor you, our Father, who art in
heaven.
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth as itis in heaven.
Give us this day our dailybread and forgive us our debts,
as we forgive our debtors, andlead us not into temptation but
(01:11:29):
deliver us from evil, for thineis the kingdom, the power and
the glory, forever and ever.
Amen.
Thank you, jane.
That was a beautiful prayer.
You are welcome, dr Matthews.
Thank you, Jane, for what?
Speaker 1 (01:11:43):
Listening.
Speaker 4 (01:11:47):
Starting over.
What will I face?
Will it be a fresh start in anew place?
Will it be new discoveries or arepeated past?
I need to slow down and notmove so fast.
Am I starting with or withoutgrace?
Lord, slow my feet and steadymy pace.
My decisions are never my own.
Lord, guide me and usher meinto a new home, Starting over
(01:12:07):
what will I face?
It is a fresh start in a newplace.
I'm Jane and this is my journey.
Journey from the Amazonbestselling author that brought
you dead girl walking, Dr Audreyand Moses.
Jane's journey one day at atime, coming spring 2025.
Pre-order now at transitionlife coach for youcom.