April 19, 2024 • 99 mins
Have you ever stood at the crossroads of your past and present, pondering the melodies of life's symphony that led you to where you stand? Join me in a deeply personal conversation with the Women of the Waiting Room Takeover – AudreyAnn Moses edition – as they peel back the layers of my story. Together, we traverse the dreamscapes of youth, the stark realities of overcoming adversity, and the way these experiences have sculpted my identity and self-esteem. It's an intimate dance between vulnerability and strength, where the echoes of heartbreak and ambition play out in the rich tapestry of personal growth.
Creativity serves as both refuge and revelation in my life's journey. I lay bare the twists in my path to musical expression, speaking on how health hurdles reshaped my vocal aspirations and how the shared challenge of writing poetry with my husband during a global pandemic birthed the book "It Can't Always Be Night". This work, sparked by diverse muses from Kanye West to "Stranger Things", stands as a beacon of hope amid despair. I also reminisce about the joyful process of chronicling the early romance with my now-husband in "Mountains Can't Rise Without Earthquakes", shining a light on the transformative power of love and creative endeavor.
Closure comes with reflections on survival, the potency of storytelling, and the roots that sustain us. A heart-wrenching childhood memory unravels, exposing family turmoil and a grim brush with oblivion, only to discover a divine purpose and the unwavering strength of faith. "Chicago Diamond" emerges as a reminder of the creativity blessing, urging us to recognize and harness our gifts. And as we wrap up, we celebrate the relentless human spirit, the ability of our stories to touch lives, and the profound gratitude for those who support us along the way. Tune in for honest, hope-filled dialogue that promises to resonate, inspire, and uplift.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 2 (00:09):
I remember, I remember, I remember Back for
the record deal and the callsand the grids and the way that
things took off.
I was singing that busyy zoneonce when it just Tried my best
to get on Back when me andPuffin Big was kids and I knew,
(00:32):
you'll see, I was young andtough and fresh and tough and it
was.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
All a dream, signed a contract, no guiding lines,
just hoping I Can get on theprojects and get my family right
, cause they bought my life.
And I read so much and I readthese oh, catch me, oh trying to
do me.
I was chained on the block, Iwas baited on the block, but I
(00:58):
made it off the block and I Iremember back when I didn't know
which way to feel.
I remember Back when pain wasall I had to give the
reflections on my life.
I see the advances that I'velearned and now I know
(01:19):
Heartbreak don't exist when it'sbeen torn apart by love.
I used to throw a pen, I usedto shut it down and blame it on
me, but that was Mary then andthis is Mary now.
You gotta understand it's abouthow we respect ourselves and
the men have no control Of ourself-esteem and when we see that
(01:43):
then we can let go.
I remember back when I didn'tknow which way to live.
I remember back when pain wasall I had to give the
reflections of my life.
I see the advances that I'velearned and I was wrong.
(02:03):
Heartbreak don't exist whenit's been torn apart by love.
Now I've made some mistakes,I've lost some friends along the
way, but I don't carry itBecause it's made me a better
shit.
It's my life and I know thatthere's more for me to see.
(02:23):
I may not be what I'm supposedto, but I can tell you right now
I ain't what I used to be.
I remember when I didn't knowwhich way to lead.
I remember when pain was all Ihad to give the reflections of
my life.
I see the lessons that I'velearned and now I know
(02:48):
heartbreak don't exist when it'sbeen taught or followed.
I remember, I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
, I remember the reflections ofmy life.
I see the lessons that I'velearned and now I know my break
(03:11):
don't exist when it's been tornapart.
I remember my love don't existno more.
I remember, but I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
, I remember, I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
(03:31):
, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this edition of Women
of the Waiting Room Takeover,and this is the Audrey and Moses
edition.
Now, with this takeover, we'regoing to do this a little
different.
This takeover, the Women of theWaiting Room Anthology my
(04:23):
sisters, my mamas in Christ,they will be coming in and
asking the queen of questions or, like Ms Laquita Parks dug me,
the queen of podcast questions,and I'm nervous, but you know I
ain't scared, I ain't scared.
(04:43):
Rj Ann.
Okay, I'm here for it.
You know I'm't scared, I ain'tscared.
Rj Ann.
Okay, I'm here for it.
You know I'm an open book.
Ask away how you doing today.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You sure you know I love you, but I'm in fear.
How are you doing?
Never, never, never it's nosoap well, I figured I'd let you
(05:23):
kind of ease your way in, youknow, let you kind of breathe a
little bit, and I know you'vebeen running around all day
doing this and that.
So I have a question about whenyou were young you know a teeny
(05:53):
weeny what did you think wouldbe your career?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
When I was younger, I always thought I was going to
be a singer.
I love music, as anybody couldsee.
I knew I was going to be doingsomething in music.
I didn't know if I was going tobe a singer.
I wanted to be a singerinitially and then after a while
I was like maybe I could bedoing something in A&R.
Because the reason why I saythat I used to get people's
albums, um, and they're, youknow, at that time we had uh
(06:28):
cassette, uh cassette tapes andum eight tracks and I used to
listen to the song, like everysong on there, and I, and, and I
will always tell my sisters andbrothers, I bet y'all know the
next single that's gonna be onthe radio, I bet y'all can take
the best song and it will alwaysbe correct.
To this day, I've never failed.
I get the album and I know I'mlike, okay, the next single
(06:51):
they're going to come out andtell me this one, because this
one is good, you know, or thisis the one that's going to hit
platinum.
So yeah, growing up it wassinging for me, singing music,
something dealing with musicmusic something dealing with
(07:12):
music.
You know what?
I was a really good singerbefore they took my thyroid out.
I was a very good singer and Iactually posted some videos of
me singing before.
It was like right after I hadJadenden, I was living with, um,
my um, my foster mom, which Icalled her my mom.
Her name in my book is misswilliams and uh, I was.
(07:35):
I was living with her and I wasa great singer.
I I sent you some stuff.
I'll sing you.
I'm I'm still a pretty good one.
Um, I can hit a note or two.
I'll be on live and I got somevideos of me on there hitting
some notes.
I'm like girl, I know you cansay, yeah, I got a little, but
it's a little raspy now becauseyou know my performance are
(07:55):
pretty much gone.
Yeah, but yeah, girl, I got alittle voice on me.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, I got a little voice on me.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
You got a little voice on you.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Well, I'm glad to hear the book now you got a name
.
So in your book I'm gettingready to tell you just to hold
your horses, hold your horses,Okay, hold your horses.
So in your book it Can't AlwaysBe Night.
Tell me why you wrote this bookNow.
(08:37):
I know I've read almost all ofthe poems, you know what the
book does.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
start off as a book, but tell me why you don't
disagree?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
It started off as a writing challenge with Bookly.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Me and my husband had already.
We had sat down and wrote downour goals and stuff we wanted to
do, and we always said wewanted to write a book.
So during COVID, right aroundthe time my dad passed, I was on
Facebook.
One night my husband wasplaying a game, like we usually
do, like he'd be sitting hereplaying his game and I'm on my
phone scrolling and wedownstairs on our couch just
(09:12):
chilling and, you know, enjoyingeach other's company, but at
the same time, you know, we inour own world, and so we sit
there and so I scroll past this.
You know I like you on yourtimeline, you're looking at
stuff in this.
This challenge popped up up this21 day challenge your book of
poetry.
And I said, well, I got a wholebunch of poems I could submit
(09:32):
to this.
You know, and that's how thatsparked that my husband's like
yeah, if you do it, I'll do it.
And so he wrote poetry everyday because he's a phenomenal
writer and like, very like, hiswriting is eloquent.
He speaks, you know, veryeloquent.
He has like a charm, like he'sa charmer, but he's very
(09:53):
intelligent and his mind is verylike I took grammar and all
that, but his is like impeccableand I was like I don't know how
I'm gonna match that, but I waslike I just, you know, grabbed
some poems that I wrote growingup and I'll tell my story that
way.
And, uh, the title it can'talways be night, actually, um,
(10:18):
it stemmed from two places.
So kanye west came out with asong and in the beginning say,
um, something about the day itcan't always be night and I was
like that sounds so dope.
But the confirmation of thetitle came when I was watching
this show to come on Netflixcalled Stranger Things, and it
(10:39):
was just, it was the finale andthe girl was caught by the devil
and he had her in this darkplace.
I will never forget it.
I always get emotional aboutthis part.
And her boyfriend you know, theblack boy was at the top of the
hole and she was in this darkplace and the devil had her.
(11:04):
She couldn't, she couldn't getout of this dark place and he
was in the light place and hejust kept telling her like just
close your eyes and just reachfor me, and she just closed her
eyes and she started thinkingabout him and how much she loved
him and just how much fun shehad with him and her friends
just all good thoughts.
And she was able to get freeout of the darkness as long as
(11:30):
she kept towards the light.
So that's what inspired thetitle and that's what made me
write the book.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So that's really awesome, because I think about
you and marvis, and you knowI've read, I've read this book.
And then, of course, you knowthat, um, you know I've read
mountains and I always thinkabout when.
When I was your age, you know,and when I was in my well, not
your age now, but when I was inmy 20s, early 20s, you know I
(12:16):
had already joined the military,so join the Navy, so I had some
security, but there wasn't any,you know, and I was struggling
to try to find somebody I coulddepend on.
And so whenever I think aboutthat, I always think about you
and Marvis, because, out of allof um, yes, when you explain it
(12:39):
like that it does make me thinkthat he was the one telling you
to reach for him.
Yeah, so, um.
So now in um.
Now, some of the poems and itcan't always be right, obviously
(13:00):
poems that you um wrote whenyou were young, um 10 are when
you were young, okay.
So I'm looking at a couple ofthem now, and one of them is
called I woke up today.
Yeah do you remember when youwrote that.
(13:25):
I want to read it.
It says I woke up today feelinglike I needed to lie down and
try again, knowing if I do thenI just submit and let the devil
win.
And lord knows I won't dareallow that to happen.
(13:45):
I woke up today having feelingsthat won't go away, feeling
angry, not caring what peoplemight say.
I know what that.
And now I'm laying down andpraying.
If god I wrote that poem, tryagain another day in the middle
of a storm in my life.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I have been going through a lot with someone that
I'm no longer with, that Ihaven't been with for a long
time.
But I also didn't know that Iwas suffering from lupus and
thyroid cancer.
So I was going through a verytumultuous time with my child's
father and a tumultuous timewith family and I was just I
(14:32):
didn't know why I was extremelyexhausted, but I was extremely
exhausted.
But I've always been a fake andI always believed that, no
matter what, god had my back andI always believed that no
matter what, god had my back.
But sometimes people tell you,just get up anyway, just get up.
You know, whatever it isholding you down, don't lay down
, just get up and go.
(14:53):
And sometimes that may be good,but sometimes that may be a bad
thing because you could runyourself dry.
I had extended my hand to somany people, my home to so many
people, money to people.
I had taken in my sister's kidsat the time because you know
(15:13):
she had lost her kids to thesystem, and so I had taken in
her kids on top of Jayden.
So I had three kids under twoliving in my house no, three
kids under three living in myhouse, and I had no job and I
you know I'm on the bus withthese babies, yeah, taking them
to school, taking them to theprison to see their daddy, um,
(15:36):
you know, it was just.
And I had to drag my son, whohad never been in that type of
situation before, um, becauseyou know he don't have a jail
daddy, you know.
So it was like I had to gothrough all of that in the
winter of Chicago and one day Iwas supposed to get up and take
them.
I was like no, I'm not gettingup, I'm laying back down.
(15:58):
I had already had the surgery onmy neck, but I did not know
that in between that time I haddeveloped lupus and so my, my
physical, you know, my physicalhealth was really, really, and
then my mental too, because I'malone, I'm a single mom, I'm not
(16:18):
getting child support, I can'twork my job.
You know they only given me acertain amount a month because I
can't make it in.
So you know, I'm on thisshort-term leave, it's not
paying the bills, I can't getunemployment.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
It was a lot stressful for me and that was
when that came out and I wrotethat Absolutely absolutely yeah,
right, the the last, the lastparagraph says so nope, i'ma
(17:03):
rest today and tomorrow andbypass any hurt or sorrow, but
trust and believe.
When my eyes do open again, Iwill be prepared to not only
fight the battle within but alsowin, and um, and, and I really
I love the way your poems are,because your poems, all of all
(17:28):
of your poems, feel real.
You know, sometimes you canwrite, you can listen to a poem
or can read a poem and it feels,you know, it touches you in a
way, but and sometimes you justknow it's, it's what they made
up.
You know, because they're apoet and they make it up, but
they're not pulling it fromsomeplace within.
(17:50):
You can tell when a poet ispulling from within, you know,
and so, and so I like your poemsbecause of that, um, most of
them that I have read, um, thatI remember, are, um, I could
tell right away that there wassomething going on that caused
(18:11):
you to write that particularpoem, you know.
So kudos to you for that,because that is a good, that is
really good, that is really good.
So I'm gonna come back that Isaw in here.
That I thought was reallyinteresting.
(18:31):
But on mountains, I readmountains, um, you know, when
you were still yeah, right, oh,mountains can't rise without
earthquakes.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
And people have to really understand what that
means.
And that's just like a rosedrawn from cotton.
When people ask me, what doesthe title of your book mean?
What do you tell them?
The world is shaking up.
We try so much to avoid thehurt and the sorrow and what it
takes to really get to where weneed to get to.
(19:10):
Everybody want to get to thatmountaintop, but they don't want
to go through the earthquakesand the tornadoes and the
volcanoes that it takes to getto the top of that mountain.
Right, they want to be able tojust fly up there on a drone or
get some pixie dust and becomeTinkerbell or Peter Pan.
And this ain't.
This is not that God didn't.
(19:31):
God gives you those things tobuild your character, to build
your faith, to build yourstrength.
That's just like if you arerunning in the Olympics, in a
race.
You just can't go there off thestreet and say I'm going to
beat all these people here.
It took them years to train forthat.
(19:54):
So that's what mountains camefrom.
I'm at the top of my mountain,but I could not have risen
without going through theearthquakes in life that I went
through.
So the mountains can risewithout earthquakes.
It shows the earthquakes, butit doesn't it without uh,
telling the story it leaves at acliffhanger.
(20:16):
The mountains are not shown yet, but it's more common, right,
they're coming, okay.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Um, when, when you were writing this book, you know
there was, I know there was alot of turmoil in just for you
to be able to write this book,because there are a lot of
things you had to remember thatmaybe you didn't want to
(20:55):
remember, but you needed to inorder not only to heal but to
finish, you know know, writingthe book so that others can heal
so if you, the hardest part forme to write was uh tell me the
hardest part of this book foryou to write what scene was the
(21:17):
hardest and why was it?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
one of them was um china leaving China leaving.
The other one was when my unclemolested me and I had to leave
my dad.
The other one was when I lost.
(21:40):
Well, when you know, my unbornchild's life was taken still
inside of me by somebody who Ithought when I lost.
Well, when you know, my unbornchild's life was taken still
inside of me by somebody who Ithought that I really really
loved very much and I thoughtthat they loved me.
And the other one was theepilogue, which goes into the
(22:05):
next book, but it also goes intome trying to commit suicide
while I was still pregnant withmy oldest son.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Right, right, right, um, one of the things you
mentioned.
I was going to ask you about um, when, when your child was
(22:41):
taken and I like the way you saythat you know, because that's
not what, that's not the word Iused, correct, you know that's
not the word I used Um, but youknow, you were, you were beaten
so severely that it caused you,you know, to lose your child.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Why didn't you have a prayer about it?
I did alert the people.
So let's get this clear when Idid go to the hospital it's the
things I just moved on into thenext chapter because it was
still a lot of things I did notunpack.
I did go to the hospital.
I did tell them who did it tome.
I did not give them hisgovernment name, but I gave them
(23:28):
his street name and they saidyou don't know his government
name.
And I said no, and the reasonwhy I said that is because we go
through things with people andwe still cannot help how we feel
about that person, cannot helphow we feel about that person,
right.
So I knew that he was in a badplace.
I knew that I was in a badplace.
(23:50):
I took a lot of theresponsibility and felt like I
was the reason it happened atthat time.
I don't feel that way now, butat 17, 18 years old, I'm feeling
like it's my fault.
I knew that he was alreadyupset.
I knew that I shouldn't haveanswered his phone.
(24:11):
I knew that was his newgirlfriend on the phone.
I knew this.
I knew he was drinking.
I knew so I shouldn't have saidthis or did this because I
triggered him and I put all theblame on me.
So I shouldn't have said thisor did this because I triggered
him and I just I put all theblame on me and I was like, so I
don't want to be the one to gethim locked up on top of that
(24:36):
and you know he was veryapologetic afterwards, made it
seem like, you know, it was allmy fault.
I'm the reason, you know.
And then he went and toldeverybody I had an abortion, you
know, just to, and I went alongwith it because I don't want
the rest of his family, you know, to feel no type of way.
(24:58):
They were more so understandingthat I got an abortion that he
engaged knowing I was going tocollege, but I didn't want him
to have any turmoil with myfamily.
I never even told my familythat he did this to me until his
book came out.
Like, my own sisters andbrothers didn't know that this
happened to me.
Only person that knew was myfriend.
(25:21):
Katina knew was my friendkatina.
Um, she knew, right, and I gota friend named asia, right.
They knew other than that.
Um, nobody knew what he did tome because, uh well, mr cox did
um, but nobody else you know,and I I kept that because I was
trying to save him.
(25:42):
But let's be clear, I did get arestraining order but I told
them it was because he hit me,but I did not tell them to the
extent that I lost my height.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Exactly.
So now right, I saw that RightRight.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I read the book.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Right, I saw that right, right I.
I read the book.
So now tell this, tell me this,um, as when you were a social
worker, and even now, how do?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
you know what I place my?
Speaker 4 (26:21):
I put myself back in that place and I try to talk to
them the way I would talk tomyself.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
But what I don't do is tell them oh, you need to
hurry up and leave, you need tohurry up and leave.
The reason why I don't do thatis because that's the quickest
way to lose them.
I try to stay in contact withthem, I try to console them and
let them you know, tell them mystory and hopefully that will
(26:49):
scare them straight.
But then I also leave them with.
You control the narrative.
You have dominion over yourlife, so nobody can do to you
anything you don't allow them to.
So I always give kind of toughlove and just tell people look,
either you're going to stay anddon't cry, or leave and don't
(27:11):
cry.
But don't stay and cry anddon't stay in compliance,
because you have the millionover your life.
Nobody can make that decisionfor you.
You have to make it foryourself.
So that's pretty much how Ileave it.
I'm very straightforward, butI'm also empathetic to what's
(27:33):
going on with them.
I just let them know look, yougot control over your life.
One thing you can't do with me,though, is stay and complain.
Either do something about it oryou stay there and shut up
about it right, yeah, and, andthat's that.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I'm glad you, um, that's how you handle it,
because you know that is how itneeds to be held, because you
can't tell grownups what to doand you have to give them the
opportunity to realize that theyare in control, regardless of
(28:21):
which way they go.
They are in control, you know.
So I'm glad that that's the wayyou know you handle it.
You know you handle it.
So I have um, you know um.
You and I have have worked on alot of projects.
(28:45):
I've been on your podcastseveral times and um, and had a
lot of fun, and so I want you totell the audience which of my
books is your favorite.
But I want you to tell me whyit's your favorite and who in it
is your favorite, why you gotto make me choose.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
It's okay, though.
It's okay, you put me on thespot now.
So, yes, ma'am, out of all ofthem, I would have to say,
because I'm gonna have to saymichael, michael and uninvited
(29:27):
memories.
Um, michael Michael andUninvited Memories.
Just I just he was likecharming, you know, he gave me a
lot of, if you ever read theColdest One's Ever, he gave me a
(29:49):
lot of Midnight.
I think I told you this before.
But I'm still, I'm stillsticking with Michael Michael.
He was mine in the beginning,he's mine now.
It ain't changing over here.
It ain't changing over here.
I like Michael, but I also, anddead girl walking, I like Jane.
(30:13):
Jane reminds me a lot of me.
So I like Jane and dead girlswalking and I like Michael.
I'm trying to see who else.
It was somebody else.
And no, I'm not cheating, I'mtrying to think it was somebody
(30:37):
else.
And no, I'm not cheating, I'mtrying to think it was somebody
else.
It was somebody else.
It was another Scotty, I don'tknow.
I don't know about Scotty.
Scotty kind of I don't knowScotty, scotty kind of I don't
(30:57):
know Scotty.
Yes, yeah, scotty.
Next question you have alove-hate relationship with
Scotty, I probably want to sayJane, because she reminds me a
lot of me.
So my favorite character isJane but my favorite book is
Uninvited Memories.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Uninvited Memories?
Yeah, so Uninvited memories?
Yeah, so that is.
I asked you what was thehardest part to write in your
book.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Mouths Can't Arise.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Without Earthquakes.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
So tell me what part brought you the most joy?
Um, earthquakes.
So tell me, the most joyouspart that I wrote in mountains
was when I met just the cop, andwhy.
Um, when I met my husband, buthe wasn't my husband, then he
was just my friend.
Just feel that little schoolgirl feeling I felt, you know,
and be able to relive that.
It was a very, very happy,happy time in my life.
(32:13):
When I met him, no matter what Iwas going through, if I was
depressed or whatever.
You know he was first he wasjust like an army recruiter, but
me and him ended up becomingvery, very good friends and he
was always somebody.
No matter what I could get onthe phone, he always had the
same number.
To this day, almost 20 years,still got the same number and I
(32:35):
could just get up if I was goingthrough anything, no matter
what time, day or night.
He will always answer the phonefor me, even when he was was
was hurt and in kentucky on thebase in the hospital I I called
him and he answered and itdidn't matter because we were
(32:57):
just really good friends likethat.
And to go back and know that youknow what these people was
trying to molest me, trying todo all this stuff to me while
I'm trying to sign up, you know,for the military.
And he had, like this bigranking in the military and I
(33:18):
told him and he jeopardized hiswhole career, his whole
reputation at that place forsomebody he had just met.
He had just met me, not even amonth, I was just a recruit and
he had my back and it remindedme of my daddy, you know, like
(33:39):
wow, like my dad be having myback, like that, you know, and I
had missed that because I hadbeen separated from my daddy for
so long.
And I was like, yeah, this is,you know, my brothers don't even
take up for me, like that, youknow, and I had went through so
much being taken away, you know,from my, you know my biological
(33:59):
family, and I went through somuch in the system and nobody
ever had my back, my caseworkers, nobody ever had my back when
those things happened to me, myback when those things happen to
me.
So to just meet somebody andthink, oh, they just trying to
get you know, recruitment ortrying to get paid off of me to
recruit me, that's how I'mlooking at him, like okay, he
(34:20):
cool, but maybe he just, youknow, being cool with me and
hanging out with me until I, youknow, until I get uh sworn in,
then I ain't gonna hear from himno more.
That was my thought process,right.
But I'm like, why would hejeopardize?
Why would he leave, you know,his house with whoever he was
with at the time and they shoutand and get up at two o'clock in
the morning to come get me?
(34:41):
Because I'm afraid and I'mtelling you know, and he did
that he came in some somebasketball shorts and and a
sweater I'll never forget, witha do-rag on his head and he had
some socks on, with these Nikeslacks and he was looking good
and I was like, just took my manoff everything, but he still
(35:04):
like he was upset because hedidn't know.
But once I told him whathappened, he jeopardized his
ranking.
He's going against a chiefofficer.
You know like he jeopardizedhimself to take up for me and I
always remembered that I alwaysso.
So when I had to write thatpart and that was the most joy,
(35:28):
um, writing about, you know thebeginning of me meeting him in
the beginning of ourrelationship.
It was beautiful Baby, my manwas at the wrong spot.
(36:02):
I told y'all I was out of thebox and he was so mad because
he's so Buick, lesar and he hadlike Rams on their TVs and they,
like I didn't know he even hadthat car because I always seen
them in the government car, sohe didn't come and pick me up.
So now I'm thinking I'mvalidated Now, like oh, I'm in
here.
He came to pick me up in hiscar and so I'm just like, yeah,
(36:24):
so yeah, he liked me, girl.
I'm thinking in my head like,yeah, he liked me, he really
liked me.
And then, on top of that, I'mlooking.
I'm seeing he got thesebasketball shorts on.
They was gray basketball shorts.
I will never forget it and Iwill never forget it.
And I just kept looking at them.
Shorts, jesus, fix it.
I just kept looking at theprint in the shorts, like
(36:48):
everything in the shorts, and Iwas just like Lord.
And he was like, see, that's aproblem.
Look you focusing on the wrongstuff.
And I'm just like you think I'mfocusing on the wrong stuff.
I'm focusing on the right stuff, and you know.
So please, let's move on.
But you know, girl, let's moveon.
(37:18):
This is, this must befaith-based.
I can't be dicked.
Move on, mr cox.
Oh jesus, so um okay, let'smove on.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
Let's make the costume.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Shorts, lord, calm down we at the right time.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Thank you, jesus right when I needed something to
distract me from what was goingon, so okay yeah, mr cops had
himself in the right place.
Yeah, so now what was going onexactly?
(38:04):
There's a not kind of funny buttragic scene you wrote in
Mountains Can't Rise WithoutEarthquakes.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Just read it for me, because I had to change some
names to keep privacy protectedbecause they were saying they
were going to try to sue me.
Tell me what it's saying.
I can remember who Slim was itsays it says right, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
It says.
It says oh yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Of course.
Oh, that was my uncle Oliver.
Yes, oh, man Well.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
I literally remember the arrival of one uncle in
particular, he had a knack ofcreating the most delicious
mother potatoes I have evertasted.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Yeah, he came.
Look, it was a long time beforemy Uncle Oliver came back.
Of course, y'all saw him againafter that.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
That was my grandmother.
Well, I was going to ask you,did you?
Ever see him again.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
So y'all so okay.
So in the scene my uncle hemade the best mother potatoes.
Okay, everybody got their dish.
My auntie, she makes the bestpotato salad.
You know, my daddy had the bestspaghetti and my uncle, he had
the best smothered potatoes.
Ok, so that's how we all knewwho was, you know, the champ of
(39:38):
these certain things.
Right, and so he was going togive it.
He had his grease on the stove.
Now, she don't lit the stovewith the grease in the skillet.
It was a, it was a black.
What do you call those things?
It was a black.
What do you call those things?
Tartar skillet.
She had the grease on there.
She done lit it, right, and putan egg, a raw egg, like an egg
(40:04):
out of a carton, in there.
She didn't crack it or nothing,she just put the egg in there
and put a top on it and she putthe thing on high.
Now, now, I ain't the bestscientist in the world, but I
know that that don't match and Iknew it at that time.
So when I saw my uncle going tothe kitchen, I didn't want to
(40:24):
warn him because I'm gonna bereal with y'all.
My little sister whooped me atthat time, okay, and she was my
little, she was younger than me,but she was bigger than me and
she, her punch was more powerfulthan mine.
So she came up, she gave me alittle.
I'm not gonna say nothing.
(40:44):
I'm like girl, I ain't gonnasay nothing.
So when he went in there and hetook that he was getting ready
to reach for that, for that topon that skillet I jumped behind
the couch because I knew it wasgoing to be blast off and she
took his whole eye out y'all.
And it was because, people, Icould understand the frustration
(41:05):
that my little sister hadbecause we all had it.
We already stayed.
All of us stayed with mygrandmother, right, it was five
of us that stayed with mygrandmother, right, it was five
of us, you know, that stayedwith my grandmother, and it was
a three-bedroom house and it wasall five of us, plus my grandma
, plus my granddaddy.
So anybody that would come overwe would have to leave our room,
or my grandma gotta come in ourroom with us, you know.
(41:28):
And they get her room.
And then when she come in ourroom with us, she had a bucket,
you know that.
She used to sit and boo-boo atnight, you know, and pee, and
the little thing, the little,you know what the doctor give
you when you can't make it tothe bathroom, you get that thing
in your room.
She had that, so she had tobring that in the room with us.
(41:48):
Like that's just uncomfortable,you know, like we gotta smell
you at night going to boo-boobecause you can.
All this was just like, and wealways looked at the people,
like her sons or her daughtersor her other grandkids.
They always want to come overthere and every time they come
over our house they eat up allthe food, they eat up all the
(42:09):
snacks.
You know they get all mygrandma money.
They come, they steal all stuffand we was fed up so we would
play pranks on them.
But she took it too far.
She took his whole eye out andso, yeah, you know we saw him
after that, but it was a longtime.
My grandma had to beg her sonto come back over after that
because he ended up having toget a glass out.
(42:30):
Like it was crazy.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Well, you know, it's good too, though, you, you know,
when you remember, um, yeah,good too when you remember
things from your past, becausenow, first of all, you survived
your past, um, and even evenwhen there were times when you
wasn't sure if you were going tosurvive, and now you can look
back on those things and and youknow, and write stories about
(43:13):
them and and see how far god hasbrought you amen yeah, and so I
want to ask a question aboutyour spiritual life.
Um, for as long as I've knownyou, you have been a woman of
God, but even though you knewthat the only way you were going
(43:39):
to survive, except when I gotpregnant with my oldest son when
did you realize that howimportant God really was?
Speaker 3 (43:48):
in your life and for your life.
My mama wasn't nowhere to befound, me and my son's father
wasn't together.
I was flunking in school.
I had a job but I couldn't keepa regular job and it was just
so much going on.
I was fighting with my friends.
(44:09):
I couldn't figure out who wasmy friend, who wasn't.
I had just found out that, youknow, the only friend I thought
that was really my friend wassleeping with my son's father.
So it was a lot going on and Ijust didn't want to be here, no
more.
I was like I don't got nofriends, I don't got no family
that care about me.
You know, it was a lot going onand I was at a friend of mine's
(44:31):
house that stayed on the rightby the lake in Chicago on the
south side, and I was up, I wason the top floor and I took
pills.
I took pills, I was ready to go.
I was like I don't want to behere, no more.
And then, once I took the pills, I was like, oh man, I'm
(44:53):
pregnant, like God, like youknow.
Why are you forcing me to behere, you know?
And so when I woke up, I wokeup with strapped down.
I was in the hospital, but Iwas strapped down because my
friend told them I was suicidaland I had just really just had a
(45:16):
breakdown and I didn't want tobe here, no more.
So I guess you can considerthat suicidal, but I just, you
know, I was willing to go and Itook some pills, some Tylenol 3s
.
I think I took about 30 Tylenol3s.
And then I went in her cabinetand I took two of her mom's
heart pills and I was like, andI knew how they look because my
(45:40):
grandma had them they was in asmall brown bottle, clear glass
bottle, and they were very, verytiny, very, very tiny pills.
And so I knew the pill.
I was like just that heartmedicine right here and it.
It's basically like bloodpressure pills, but they were.
My grandma would call themheart pills, but they were blood
pressure pills.
(46:00):
So I took about 30 Tylenolthrees and then I took two heart
pills and I woke up.
They had pumped my stomach andeverything and I was still
asleep.
But I woke up and that's when Iknew like God got a reason for
me to be here, um, and then Iwas so very, um, apologetic,
(46:22):
because how selfish could I be?
And and and, and it's not thatI knew that I was taking my, my
child out because I think atthat moment, to be honest with
you, I forgot.
I forgot I was even carryinghim.
I just knew I was ready to go,because people don't understand.
Like when you go and do thosethings and you break down, you
(46:43):
don't really consider everythingelse that's around you or
everybody else that's around you.
You can love them people todeath, but that's not what's on
your mind.
That don't make you selfish.
It's just like I'm not thinkingabout this right now.
This so much is going on.
It's a pile on and you got tohave the strong sense of faith
(47:07):
to be able to get through thosethings, because I could have
went and tried to do it again,but once I did that, god said to
do it again.
But once I did that, god saidyou did that wrong.
You did that all wrong.
You don't even understandwhat's about to occur in your
life.
You don't even understand whatthis child is going to bring to
you by having this child, whatyou have to do is essential.
(47:33):
You have to be here, and sothat was it right and and um.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
That's another testimony that you will be able
to tell.
That will help other people youknow, because you never know
when you're going be able tohear how you know you survived
it now you know what planning,and I think that's the reason
people think that, and now a lotof people think that.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
The reason why I'm so close with my oldest son is
because only the oldest childand he looks like you, but I
think it's because I'm stillreal apologetic about that.
(48:53):
You know it's like I treat themboth the same, but I think with
him it's like he needs.
I just feel like he needs toknow, you know.
So whatever I can do, you know,and nobody can say, hey, you
(49:17):
don't have to do that for him.
That's gonna happen to the day Idie, to the day I'm no longer
here he's gonna know that he'sthat what I did in that moment
was not a reflection of you.
It's because of you that I'mstill here, you know yeah.
Speaker 4 (49:48):
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
But that's just something that I feel is just.
It's gonna always be there inme you know.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
Whatever he asked you know, what somebody you know,
the answer is always the same.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
You know somebody because I've been through
therapy about this for years and, and and I've always had a
therapist, no matter which oneit was tell me me.
Oh, you don't have to be thatway.
I'm sure your son loves you hedoes that but it's going to
always be second nature to me toprove that to him and I don't
want to change that about me.
I don't want to change becausethat's what makes me the mom
(50:28):
that I am.
That's what fuels me to pourthat type of love into my kids.
So I don't want to stop doingthat.
I will not stop feeling thisway.
I don't want to stop feelingthis way when I think about that
.
You know some people are like.
I just wish I could stopfeeling this guilt.
No, no, that's one that I wantto have because it fuels me to
(50:53):
become the best mom that I couldbe for my kids and that fueled
me to pick the best man to bethe dad for my kids and that
fueled me to live the best lifeand show them nothing and teach
them.
You know what?
You don't have to take thisfrom somebody.
You have the million over yourlife.
(51:14):
What them teachers at thatschool is saying don't matter,
because at the end of the day,it's about how you feel about
your grade and how your parentsfeel about your grade.
You know they can give theiropinion, but never take what
they say at face value, becauseat the end of the day, the only
thing that matters is you, andif you work hard for that, we're
(51:35):
going to accept it.
So that's it.
And if I didn't feel this guiltabout that situation and I just
went on about it, who knows,you know Right, my attitude
(51:55):
would be very different.
Yeah, but it's just.
That was the turning point inmy life to say you know what I
need to get my stuff together,because I got a kid here.
And he needs to know that thisdid not happen because of him.
I mean, that's not to say itwould be a bad attitude that
(52:15):
made me feel this way.
I mean, this was the attack ofthe enemy that made me feel this
way, and that's when I knewthat God, like you know, you
always, I've always been achurch, I've always been a
spiritual person.
I was raised in a lot ofdifferent denominations,
actually because I moved fromthis place to that place.
(52:36):
So I've I've studied jehovahwitness, I've studied catholic,
I've studied um buddhism, Istudy all these things, right,
um?
And that's how I was able tofigure out that I'm
non-denominational.
But I also know that I'm achristian but I'm not
denominational, which means, youknow, I'm not a Baptist or I'm
not, you know, or I don't, youknow I'm not church of God in
(52:59):
Christ or these different things.
No, I was raised in church ofGod in Christ.
I was raised in baptism, I wasraised in African Methodist,
episcopal.
You know, I was raised in allthese different denominations
and I said I can learn from eachone so I can choose what I
believe with each religion, andthat helps me to become a better
(53:23):
person, because I only choosethe good things, right?
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (53:32):
yeah exactly exactly so, exactly, chicago Diamond.
So I have one question thatwell, I want to talk about your
(54:00):
online story.
Yes, chicago Diamond.
Speaker 3 (54:11):
It's on Pocket FM.
Get the app Pocket FM.
It's on Pocket FM.
Get the app Pocket FM.
It's a wonderful story.
Speaker 4 (54:16):
It's a wonderful story, A Chi-town love story,
and I'm sure thousands andthousands of people are
listening to it right now and ifyou're not, you need to start
and it's only been a couplemonths, yeah.
So what I?
(54:42):
What I want to tell, what Iwant to ask you is you know, as
authors, you know, we sit downto our computer and we we say,
okay, I'm gonna write a fewpages of of my book today.
I'm gonna write a few pages ofmy book today.
I may skip a few days and Imight write a few pages.
But for for chicago diamond,you are writing and posting like
(55:10):
every day, or or close to everyday, or close to every day.
It's like it is published thesame day you write it.
I looked at that and then Idecided no, that's not for me,
(55:30):
but you are the perfect personfor it, you know, because, yeah,
yeah, 28 chapters and so it's,and it just keeps moving and
(55:51):
going.
It's almost like a soap opera.
I'm like, oh, these peoplegetting on my nerves, you know.
But I am enjoying it and so Ithink you should advertise it
more.
You know, because it is really.
You know, I really like itbecause it keeps moving and and
(56:18):
you think you know what's goingto happen, and then it doesn't,
and so, um, and you think oneperson is going to act one way,
and then they don't.
And you know, you want to go,get on a plane, go to chicago,
choke their neck, get on theplane and come back home.
You know, but, but I really,really, really, I think, because
(56:46):
of your personality, um, thissuits you.
I mean, to write a regular book, like the rest of us do, suits
you, but this suits you becauseit's like your.
Your mind is always creating you, your mind is always creating
something.
I am always when I get up inthe mornings, you know.
(57:08):
So you know, and, and they'll,and there'll be a poster,
there'll be some something.
You know that that you havedone because, because god has
really given you the gift ofcreativity and you are using it
(57:30):
well and um and so, and so youare blessing so many people
because of your creativity, andmy family and my friends.
When I'm talking about you,they're like is she the one that
does the pictures?
(57:51):
I'm like, yes, she's the onethat does the pictures.
I'm like, yes, she's the onethat does the pictures.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh, okay, I like her thank you, chicago, dad is just
so fun um but yes, you know, andI was, if you remember, once we
started with this project youknow, I'm just the one woman.
You know I try my best tosqueeze that in on top of just
(58:17):
more people helping everybody,you know, with whatever they're
doing, and it's only so much onthat page that you could post
within a day, right.
So I'm like, okay, chicagodiamond can sit down and it's
actually working a number on itsown because when people
download it it's so high in therankings right now it's like a
(58:39):
4.7 star and it has like allthese views, so it's gonna do
itself, right.
But yes, it really is, and it'sso fun to write because I like
being able to bring thesecharacters to life and just, I'm
a sucker for a cliffhanger andI'm a sucker for, um, something
(59:02):
not going the way that otherpeople expected to go.
So I like to take my charactersand make them do things that
you wouldn't imagine them doing.
So this, and as for myanointing, thank you so much, dr
(59:22):
Velma um, you know you run intopeople and you wonder, you know
if they're going to accept you.
Or I remember speaking tosomeone who I was friends with
this time last year and I wassaying I don't know what my gift
is, I don't know what I can do,and she told me.
(59:46):
She said, girl, you just don'tunderstand.
You know, all the talent thatyou have is people that were
killed for your talent.
It's people that would, wouldsacrifice everything just to
have what you have.
And I didn't understand that atthe time, because I'm looking
at this person like, well, youyou gifted.
(01:00:08):
You know, I don't know what mygift is, but then I started
doing things for people and butI would never say that it was me
that was doing the things I'vedone book covers for people,
trailers for people, flyers.
I've edited books.
I've proofread books, I'veghostwritten books.
(01:00:29):
I've ghostwritten chapters forpeople for them, and different,
different.
You know things and and I neversay nothing, I always stayed in
the background, I never.
I've done graphics.
I've done.
You name it, I've done it, andI've never said any very low key
(01:00:50):
.
Uh, because I didn't really.
I just thought it was justsomething I was doing, it's a
hobby.
I didn't think about it as thisbeing my oil and this can be the
thing that I need to, becauseat that time, you know, I got
thyroid cancer, I got lupus, soI don't get up and work a nine
to five like everybody else, andso I wasn't bringing in nothing
(01:01:11):
.
My husband was doing everything.
But then I was wondering, justlike the lady with the oil in
the Bible right.
You're wondering, like what canI do?
Because I don't have anythingand the ends are not meeting
right now.
What can I do?
Well, lady, go grab you somejars, go borrow some jars, and
take the oil you got in thereand sell it.
(01:01:35):
I gave it to you, I put itinside of you, use it.
So then it was like you know,once I start coming out of the
shadows and say, hey, you know,I'm going to need y'all to start
telling people who doing thisstuff for y'all, because I need
this work, because as long asyou're telling people that
you're doing it.
Audreyrey, and you know, and you, you just putting it up there
(01:01:58):
and you're not saying, hey, bythe way, this the person who did
the graphics.
If y'all looking for graphics,or if you're looking for this,
or you're looking for a ghostwriter, or you're looking for
somebody who to help you brandstrategizing, and like they used
to say, hey, I'm just callingyou to pick your brain, or you
put my brain to two three in themorning, or I can't get to work
(01:02:20):
on roku.
Can you help me?
And I'm up to two three in themorning, that's it work.
Hey, if you need some help withit, hey, this the person to
call.
I got none of that and that'sokay, but I but I moved on right
.
So it's like, when you, you move, be a blessing to people, and
that's not to throw it up.
(01:02:40):
You be a blessing to people,but you also realize and notice
what your blessing is and youuse the water god gave you and
it will never deplete.
They think that.
They think that they havedrained.
The enemy would think that theyhave drained.
The enemy would think that theyhave drained everything out of
you.
Okay, all her pollen gone.
I can move on to the nextflower.
But what you?
(01:03:01):
fail to realize is that I am awhale.
Okay, my whale never, uh uh uh.
My dad used to say this abouthow I ate A bottomless pit, I'm
a bottomless pit.
My well, look, my anointing islike a bottomless pit.
(01:03:23):
God put so much in me it'llnever go away and it's so much
things that I have yet to knowthat I'm good at.
That's what it's to wake up inthe morning and be like let me
try to see if I could do this.
And, extraordinarily, I thankyou.
Thank you, god.
I didn't even know I could dothat.
I didn't know I could do that.
(01:03:45):
I didn't know I could blesssomebody with that.
I didn't know that what I saidto this person saved their life.
I had a girl to tell me after Ileft a speaking engagement last
year, a girl I saw that sheended up working at a theme park
around my house and she saidyour book saved my life.
(01:04:07):
I gave them all copies of itCan't Always Be Night and she
said I read your book.
She was like and I just wantedto give up At that time I was at
a low point and I didn't wantto be here no more and I read
your book and it helped me.
It helped me get out of anabusive relationship and then he
ended up with some killing him.
So you never know who can beimpacted with your story.
Speaker 4 (01:04:36):
You never know and I think god put up oh, wow right,
(01:05:08):
right, the thing is, yeah, andthe thing is we just have to be
willing to tell our story.
You know, we just have to hearthe Holy Spirit letting us know,
regardless of whatever's goingon around us, regardless of who,
that the Holy Spirit knows whenit's our time.
(01:05:31):
And the Holy Spirit will let usknow when it's our time and it
is definitely your time, becauseyou have helped so many people
and I don't know a lot of people, but I listened to the three or
four people that I know talkabout the three or four people
that they know that you helpedand the three or four people
that they know that you helpedhelp, and so god is is is moving
(01:06:02):
your name throughout theindustry and you are always
going to be a blessing tosomebody.
Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
Okay, because I have always got women who have come
together long as you put godfirst as long as you take care
of your family, then you'regoing to always be a blessing to
somebody else, but I do want tosay this because I know, it is
so important to take care ofyourself as well.
The waiting room, especiallywhen we're battling with
(01:06:30):
illnesses.
Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
It's so important for us to take care of ourselves.
Speaker 3 (01:06:34):
We're coming out with an anthology based on the
waiting room.
How has God shown up for you inyour work time?
How has he delivered you fromyour waiting room?
What projects are you workingon now?
What emotions are you goingthrough right now and they are
not telling stories that theyhave told before.
They are giving you newexperiences about other things
(01:06:57):
that may have happened to themin their life.
With these esteemed authorstold before and the plethora
came out with, you will not hearthe same story twice.
So this is exclusive that theyhave entrusted in me.
And that was um and God.
That that God shall I say tobring forth and um, um also.
(01:07:20):
You know it was.
It was such a uh outpour ofwomen who contacted me and was
like how can I be a part of this?
How can I do this?
Because I was trying to figureout what I do.
I do want people to be able totell their story.
I do want people to be able togive their testimony or to have.
(01:07:42):
I want to extend thatopportunity out.
Well, a friend of mine, drBellman, came to me one day and
said what about a devotional?
Maybe you could do a devotional.
That way you could bring peoplein who might not have had the
funds or the the resources tojoin the anthology.
Give them a chance to tell, tobe a part of development for
(01:08:02):
that.
So now we got two books comingout on the same day we got the
anthology and then we have.
I am getting a plethora ofpeople coming to me, um, asking
y'all and um that we'll see howthey can turn it into a play or
(01:08:23):
a movie like, what can we dowith it?
So, um, I'm I'm trying tofigure out the best attorney, uh
, to handle that right now.
So I'm dealing with that.
And then I just got an emailfrom me to have my own column on
Patheos, which is one of thelargest Christian-based sites
(01:08:46):
that speak on different topicsand religion.
So they have asked me to comeon as a paid columnist to write
for their website.
And, of course, you know Iwrite for Podstars magazine.
My girl, teresa Howell, is theeditor-in-chief and owner of
(01:09:10):
that magazine and Miss Queenieactually introduced me to her.
Let's see what else.
My youngest son book, uh, mysuperpowers are not weird, um,
him and his dad.
They have a joint uhcollaboration book that they
just came out with.
That's a bestseller, um, sothat that was in the works.
The camp, uh, rise Rise WithoutEarthquakes actually has a
(01:09:34):
prequel coming out, and that oneis based on my mom's life and
it's called Fine Light China.
So I'm working on that andhopefully I can be able to have
that out by June.
I was actually the maincharacter in Mountains Can't
Rise Without Earthquake.
(01:09:54):
But China stole the story,stole the show and because of
that she knows it too.
She let everybody know.
Yeah, you know, my baby cameout this book.
But, you know, people love me,you know, if it wasn't for me,
you know she probably wouldn'thave sold that book.
My story sold the books and Ilet her run with it and I let
(01:10:14):
her be great.
I love my mama, wherever you at, whatever you at, but I love
you.
But she basically took she, she, she, she, chyna.
That's me.
So you know, she's very, veryproud of it and, um, yeah, so I,
I and just tell her storybecause a lot of people, um,
don't understand her and they,they did, why she left, um, and
(01:10:36):
why she never got her kids back,and I want to be able to redeem
her.
I want to be able to, you know,let people know.
Look, you know she wastraumatized.
She went through a lot with,not just with my dad and his
family, but with her own family.
People hurt people and she feltlike she was doing the right
thing by doing what she did andleaving because she felt like
(01:10:59):
that her presence would be evenmore tumultuous to our lives.
I give her all the respect inthe world.
Right, jada, my oldest son.
Right, jayden, my oldest son,right, yeah, son marvis was the
(01:11:25):
same way about this, and thatbook teaches the kids to have
self-discipline, know when to dotheir chores and those
different things, and heabsolutely loved that book.
When he was about three thatwas his favorite book.
That's all he wanted to readevery single day was
self-discipline and now hisfavorite books.
You ask him his favorite book,you would think he would say the
(01:11:46):
Honorable Bee or his book noDog man, that's like a little
cartoon dog superhero, um, andyeah, so that's his favorite
book.
And you would think it's thehonorable b, but it's actually
um, uh, life of a firefly,firefly, um, and it's actually
(01:12:12):
by one of the authors of.
He loves that book.
So you know, what can you do?
They write their own books anddon't even say their own books
is their favorite, but they aremy favorite children's books.
How about that?
Because they are deeply rootedin the word.
Jayden's book is is uh, stemmedfrom the, the uh, the 11th.
(01:12:32):
And marcus's book is stemmedfrom the 11th.
And Marvis's book is stemmedfrom the Bible verse, so these
books are a replica.
Jayden's book is Anti-BullyingStrengths and you know to get
over that.
And then Marvis's book is aboutyou know how he and my niece's
favorite book is the HonorablePete.
(01:12:54):
You know, people do what theydon't understand and everything
is not a handicap.
What he has is not a handicap.
It actually is a superhero andit's a superpower.
Speaker 4 (01:13:06):
And I have to let him know I'm Einstein.
Speaker 3 (01:13:09):
And they deemed him crazy, and now he's known as one
of the top geniuses of our time.
Yeah, you wore me down, yeah,yeah.
(01:13:30):
Yeah, I know you did did.
Yeah, I always get emotional.
People try to criticize.
I've been attacked andcriticized for you know things
that I do for my kids and youknow saying I'm or that, um, I
(01:13:51):
shouldn't be trying to get an 11year old book to be a
bestseller and these and I'mlike how could you even think
that way?
you're supposed to ask so.
When I think about those things, that how people try to attack
me if I'm being, um, I get, Iget very, um, defensive and I
get very emotional because, yeah, I know that that child was
(01:14:13):
almost not here and it was myfault.
You know so.
You know that's going to always, that you know so that would
always is going to always get meemotional.
Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
Well, yes, yes, right , right, Right.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:14:49):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (01:14:54):
Right, mm-hmm.
And you can see that it's realbecause it's a reflection of now
how my oldest son treats me.
He comes in, he checks on me,he makes me breakfast every
(01:15:16):
morning and making sure that I'mokay Every hour of the day.
And my youngest son, he showersme with love.
And they cannot best learnbehavior.
They only mirror what they see,you know.
Speaker 4 (01:15:33):
That's the word, yeah .
Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Listen, linda.
Speaker 4 (01:15:37):
you know, yeah, listen Linda, I'll station here
you can find me on Facebook ifyou put in a first part at
Jacqueline Cox, or you can dofacebookcom forward slash
listenlinda23.
Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
I'm on Instagram spiritualsunbeam2020.
I'm on spiritual SpiritualSunbeam 2020.
I'm on Bread Spiritual Sunbeam2020.
And I've been coached intogoing on X.
I'm on theirs.
Listen, linda 23.
I appreciate it.
(01:16:13):
Mm-hmm.
I love you too.
(01:16:34):
Well, I just want to say thattoday has been most satisfying
interviews that I've had in avery long time.
I'm so grateful to Miss Audrey.
Look, when I told y'all that,when I told the women in the
anthology that they were goingto interview me Right, maybe
(01:16:57):
they jumped up.
They were ready.
They said we can get ouropinions in paper.
We're going to get her backbecause she made us cry.
So we're going to get her back.
But no, seriously, in allhonesty, I really enjoyed.
Speaker 4 (01:17:12):
I tell you, if anybody saw the relationship
between you, your mentorship,your therapy sessions that we
had, they would not have anydoubt that.
God knew exactly what he wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:17:29):
So I applaud you for being an awesome author and
being an awesome businesswomanawesome author and I'm in a room
called the book slam and Dr.
Velma, showing how much loveyou have and for everybody, ms
Laquita Parks and especially MrMarvis um Facebook and um you,
and he remind me of me and myhusband when we were young.
(01:17:51):
Who invited me to her boot camp, that he hosted on Tuesday I
really appreciate the way youtake care of you, especially all
the things that you are goingthrough.
Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
I really appreciate that I have remained very good
friends with y'all when thispoor little baby yeah, like Jane
and dead girl walking.
Speaker 4 (01:18:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:18:12):
And I appreciate you all and you guys the audience.
Okay, yeah, okay, and Iappreciate you all and you guys
the audience, and I would say aprayer, but we're going to leave
with Nikki Giovanni and heradaptation of the Rose that Grew
From Concrete by RS B Park.
Speaker 4 (01:18:31):
So tell everybody how to find you.
Thank you, okay.
(01:19:20):
Well, ma'am, I reallyappreciate spending this time
with you and I I I am so, soblessed to be a part of your
life and a part of the projectsthat you have going on, and I
know that you will alwayscontinue to bless people,
because God blesses you everyday and you appreciate him for
(01:19:45):
those blessings.
So you take care and I love you.
And is there anything else youwant to say to the audience?
Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:20:55):
Praise God.
Speaker 3 (01:21:58):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:22:02):
Okay, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (01:22:30):
You do the same.
Speaker 6 (01:22:36):
You try to plant something in the concrete.
You know what I mean.
You do the same Same thing withme.
You know what I mean.
I grew out of all this insteadof saying, damn, he did this, he
did this, just like damn, hegrew out of that, he came out of
that.
That's what they should see.
You know what I mean All thetime, so I have to make that.
I have to turn and answer.
You know what I meanUnbelievable.
(01:22:58):
I just want to be gay.
Speaker 5 (01:23:30):
That's what I'm saying.
Did you hear about the rosethat grew from a crack in the
concrete Proving nature's lawswrong.
It learned how to walk withouthaving to be Funny, it seems,
but by keeping its dreams itlearned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grewfrom concrete when no one else
even cared.
No one else even cared.
(01:23:51):
The rose that grew fromconcrete.
Did you hear?
Did you hear about the rosethat?
Speaker 4 (01:24:01):
grew from a crack in the concrete, Proving nature's
laws wrong.
It learned to walk withouthaving feet.
Funny, it seems, but by keepingits dreams it learned to
breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grewfrom concrete when no one else
even cared.
Speaker 5 (01:24:21):
Keeping all its dreams, proving nature's laws
wrong.
It learned how to walk withouthaving to breathe To breathe the
fresh air.
It came from concrete Tobreathe the fresh air.
Speaker 6 (01:24:33):
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
When the fresh air?
To breathe the fresh air.
To dream about the wrong thingTo run the track in the car.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
(01:24:53):
To dream about the wrong thing?
To breathe the fresh air.
Don't ask me why.
Thank God, nigga.
Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
No-transcript no-transcript you're doing a
(01:39:49):
good job, congratulations.
Thank you, mama.
Okay, I'll let you get back todoing what you're doing.
I remember, I remember, I remember Back for
the record deal and the callsand the grids and the way that
things took off.
I was singing that busyy zoneonce when it just Tried my best
to get on Back when me andPuffin Big was kids and I knew,
(00:32):
you'll see, I was young andtough and fresh and tough and it
was.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
All a dream, signed a contract, no guiding lines,
just hoping I Can get on theprojects and get my family right
, cause they bought my life.
And I read so much and I readthese oh, catch me, oh trying to
do me.
I was chained on the block, Iwas baited on the block, but I
(00:58):
made it off the block and I Iremember back when I didn't know
which way to feel.
I remember Back when pain wasall I had to give the
reflections on my life.
I see the advances that I'velearned and now I know
(01:19):
Heartbreak don't exist when it'sbeen torn apart by love.
I used to throw a pen, I usedto shut it down and blame it on
me, but that was Mary then andthis is Mary now.
You gotta understand it's abouthow we respect ourselves and
the men have no control Of ourself-esteem and when we see that
(01:43):
then we can let go.
I remember back when I didn'tknow which way to live.
I remember back when pain wasall I had to give the
reflections of my life.
I see the advances that I'velearned and I was wrong.
(02:03):
Heartbreak don't exist whenit's been torn apart by love.
Now I've made some mistakes,I've lost some friends along the
way, but I don't carry itBecause it's made me a better
shit.
It's my life and I know thatthere's more for me to see.
(02:23):
I may not be what I'm supposedto, but I can tell you right now
I ain't what I used to be.
I remember when I didn't knowwhich way to lead.
I remember when pain was all Ihad to give the reflections of
my life.
I see the lessons that I'velearned and now I know
(02:48):
heartbreak don't exist when it'sbeen taught or followed.
I remember, I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
, I remember the reflections ofmy life.
I see the lessons that I'velearned and now I know my break
(03:11):
don't exist when it's been tornapart.
I remember my love don't existno more.
I remember, but I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
, I remember, I remember, Iremember, I remember, I remember
(03:31):
, I remember, I remember.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this edition of Women
of the Waiting Room Takeover,and this is the Audrey and Moses
edition.
Now, with this takeover, we'regoing to do this a little
different.
This takeover, the Women of theWaiting Room Anthology my
(04:23):
sisters, my mamas in Christ,they will be coming in and
asking the queen of questions or, like Ms Laquita Parks dug me,
the queen of podcast questions,and I'm nervous, but you know I
ain't scared, I ain't scared.
(04:43):
Rj Ann.
Okay, I'm here for it.
You know I'm't scared, I ain'tscared.
Rj Ann.
Okay, I'm here for it.
You know I'm an open book.
Ask away how you doing today.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
You sure you know I love you, but I'm in fear.
How are you doing?
Never, never, never it's nosoap well, I figured I'd let you
(05:23):
kind of ease your way in, youknow, let you kind of breathe a
little bit, and I know you'vebeen running around all day
doing this and that.
So I have a question about whenyou were young you know a teeny
(05:53):
weeny what did you think wouldbe your career?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
When I was younger, I always thought I was going to
be a singer.
I love music, as anybody couldsee.
I knew I was going to be doingsomething in music.
I didn't know if I was going tobe a singer.
I wanted to be a singerinitially and then after a while
I was like maybe I could bedoing something in A&R.
Because the reason why I saythat I used to get people's
albums, um, and they're, youknow, at that time we had uh
(06:28):
cassette, uh cassette tapes andum eight tracks and I used to
listen to the song, like everysong on there, and I, and, and I
will always tell my sisters andbrothers, I bet y'all know the
next single that's gonna be onthe radio, I bet y'all can take
the best song and it will alwaysbe correct.
To this day, I've never failed.
I get the album and I know I'mlike, okay, the next single
(06:51):
they're going to come out andtell me this one, because this
one is good, you know, or thisis the one that's going to hit
platinum.
So yeah, growing up it wassinging for me, singing music,
something dealing with musicmusic something dealing with
(07:12):
music.
You know what?
I was a really good singerbefore they took my thyroid out.
I was a very good singer and Iactually posted some videos of
me singing before.
It was like right after I hadJadenden, I was living with, um,
my um, my foster mom, which Icalled her my mom.
Her name in my book is misswilliams and uh, I was.
(07:35):
I was living with her and I wasa great singer.
I I sent you some stuff.
I'll sing you.
I'm I'm still a pretty good one.
Um, I can hit a note or two.
I'll be on live and I got somevideos of me on there hitting
some notes.
I'm like girl, I know you cansay, yeah, I got a little, but
it's a little raspy now becauseyou know my performance are
(07:55):
pretty much gone.
Yeah, but yeah, girl, I got alittle voice on me.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, I got a little voice on me.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
You got a little voice on you.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Well, I'm glad to hear the book now you got a name
.
So in your book I'm gettingready to tell you just to hold
your horses, hold your horses,Okay, hold your horses.
So in your book it Can't AlwaysBe Night.
Tell me why you wrote this bookNow.
(08:37):
I know I've read almost all ofthe poems, you know what the
book does.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
start off as a book, but tell me why you don't
disagree?
Speaker 4 (08:46):
It started off as a writing challenge with Bookly.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Me and my husband had already.
We had sat down and wrote downour goals and stuff we wanted to
do, and we always said wewanted to write a book.
So during COVID, right aroundthe time my dad passed, I was on
Facebook.
One night my husband wasplaying a game, like we usually
do, like he'd be sitting hereplaying his game and I'm on my
phone scrolling and wedownstairs on our couch just
(09:12):
chilling and, you know, enjoyingeach other's company, but at
the same time, you know, we inour own world, and so we sit
there and so I scroll past this.
You know I like you on yourtimeline, you're looking at
stuff in this.
This challenge popped up up this21 day challenge your book of
poetry.
And I said, well, I got a wholebunch of poems I could submit
(09:32):
to this.
You know, and that's how thatsparked that my husband's like
yeah, if you do it, I'll do it.
And so he wrote poetry everyday because he's a phenomenal
writer and like, very like, hiswriting is eloquent.
He speaks, you know, veryeloquent.
He has like a charm, like he'sa charmer, but he's very
(09:53):
intelligent and his mind is verylike I took grammar and all
that, but his is like impeccableand I was like I don't know how
I'm gonna match that, but I waslike I just, you know, grabbed
some poems that I wrote growingup and I'll tell my story that
way.
And, uh, the title it can'talways be night, actually, um,
(10:18):
it stemmed from two places.
So kanye west came out with asong and in the beginning say,
um, something about the day itcan't always be night and I was
like that sounds so dope.
But the confirmation of thetitle came when I was watching
this show to come on Netflixcalled Stranger Things, and it
(10:39):
was just, it was the finale andthe girl was caught by the devil
and he had her in this darkplace.
I will never forget it.
I always get emotional aboutthis part.
And her boyfriend you know, theblack boy was at the top of the
hole and she was in this darkplace and the devil had her.
(11:04):
She couldn't, she couldn't getout of this dark place and he
was in the light place and hejust kept telling her like just
close your eyes and just reachfor me, and she just closed her
eyes and she started thinkingabout him and how much she loved
him and just how much fun shehad with him and her friends
just all good thoughts.
And she was able to get freeout of the darkness as long as
(11:30):
she kept towards the light.
So that's what inspired thetitle and that's what made me
write the book.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
So that's really awesome, because I think about
you and marvis, and you knowI've read, I've read this book.
And then, of course, you knowthat, um, you know I've read
mountains and I always thinkabout when.
When I was your age, you know,and when I was in my well, not
your age now, but when I was inmy 20s, early 20s, you know I
(12:16):
had already joined the military,so join the Navy, so I had some
security, but there wasn't any,you know, and I was struggling
to try to find somebody I coulddepend on.
And so whenever I think aboutthat, I always think about you
and Marvis, because, out of allof um, yes, when you explain it
(12:39):
like that it does make me thinkthat he was the one telling you
to reach for him.
Yeah, so, um.
So now in um.
Now, some of the poems and itcan't always be right, obviously
(13:00):
poems that you um wrote whenyou were young, um 10 are when
you were young, okay.
So I'm looking at a couple ofthem now, and one of them is
called I woke up today.
Yeah do you remember when youwrote that.
(13:25):
I want to read it.
It says I woke up today feelinglike I needed to lie down and
try again, knowing if I do thenI just submit and let the devil
win.
And lord knows I won't dareallow that to happen.
(13:45):
I woke up today having feelingsthat won't go away, feeling
angry, not caring what peoplemight say.
I know what that.
And now I'm laying down andpraying.
If god I wrote that poem, tryagain another day in the middle
of a storm in my life.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
I have been going through a lot with someone that
I'm no longer with, that Ihaven't been with for a long
time.
But I also didn't know that Iwas suffering from lupus and
thyroid cancer.
So I was going through a verytumultuous time with my child's
father and a tumultuous timewith family and I was just I
(14:32):
didn't know why I was extremelyexhausted, but I was extremely
exhausted.
But I've always been a fake andI always believed that, no
matter what, god had my back andI always believed that no
matter what, god had my back.
But sometimes people tell you,just get up anyway, just get up.
You know, whatever it isholding you down, don't lay down
, just get up and go.
(14:53):
And sometimes that may be good,but sometimes that may be a bad
thing because you could runyourself dry.
I had extended my hand to somany people, my home to so many
people, money to people.
I had taken in my sister's kidsat the time because you know
(15:13):
she had lost her kids to thesystem, and so I had taken in
her kids on top of Jayden.
So I had three kids under twoliving in my house no, three
kids under three living in myhouse, and I had no job and I
you know I'm on the bus withthese babies, yeah, taking them
to school, taking them to theprison to see their daddy, um,
(15:36):
you know, it was just.
And I had to drag my son, whohad never been in that type of
situation before, um, becauseyou know he don't have a jail
daddy, you know.
So it was like I had to gothrough all of that in the
winter of Chicago and one day Iwas supposed to get up and take
them.
I was like no, I'm not gettingup, I'm laying back down.
(15:58):
I had already had the surgery onmy neck, but I did not know
that in between that time I haddeveloped lupus and so my, my
physical, you know, my physicalhealth was really, really, and
then my mental too, because I'malone, I'm a single mom, I'm not
(16:18):
getting child support, I can'twork my job.
You know they only given me acertain amount a month because I
can't make it in.
So you know, I'm on thisshort-term leave, it's not
paying the bills, I can't getunemployment.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
It was a lot stressful for me and that was
when that came out and I wrotethat Absolutely absolutely yeah,
right, the the last, the lastparagraph says so nope, i'ma
(17:03):
rest today and tomorrow andbypass any hurt or sorrow, but
trust and believe.
When my eyes do open again, Iwill be prepared to not only
fight the battle within but alsowin, and um, and, and I really
I love the way your poems are,because your poems, all of all
(17:28):
of your poems, feel real.
You know, sometimes you canwrite, you can listen to a poem
or can read a poem and it feels,you know, it touches you in a
way, but and sometimes you justknow it's, it's what they made
up.
You know, because they're apoet and they make it up, but
they're not pulling it fromsomeplace within.
(17:50):
You can tell when a poet ispulling from within, you know,
and so, and so I like your poemsbecause of that, um, most of
them that I have read, um, thatI remember, are, um, I could
tell right away that there wassomething going on that caused
(18:11):
you to write that particularpoem, you know.
So kudos to you for that,because that is a good, that is
really good, that is really good.
So I'm gonna come back that Isaw in here.
That I thought was reallyinteresting.
(18:31):
But on mountains, I readmountains, um, you know, when
you were still yeah, right, oh,mountains can't rise without
earthquakes.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
And people have to really understand what that
means.
And that's just like a rosedrawn from cotton.
When people ask me, what doesthe title of your book mean?
What do you tell them?
The world is shaking up.
We try so much to avoid thehurt and the sorrow and what it
takes to really get to where weneed to get to.
(19:10):
Everybody want to get to thatmountaintop, but they don't want
to go through the earthquakesand the tornadoes and the
volcanoes that it takes to getto the top of that mountain.
Right, they want to be able tojust fly up there on a drone or
get some pixie dust and becomeTinkerbell or Peter Pan.
And this ain't.
This is not that God didn't.
(19:31):
God gives you those things tobuild your character, to build
your faith, to build yourstrength.
That's just like if you arerunning in the Olympics, in a
race.
You just can't go there off thestreet and say I'm going to
beat all these people here.
It took them years to train forthat.
(19:54):
So that's what mountains camefrom.
I'm at the top of my mountain,but I could not have risen
without going through theearthquakes in life that I went
through.
So the mountains can risewithout earthquakes.
It shows the earthquakes, butit doesn't it without uh,
telling the story it leaves at acliffhanger.
(20:16):
The mountains are not shown yet, but it's more common, right,
they're coming, okay.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Um, when, when you were writing this book, you know
there was, I know there was alot of turmoil in just for you
to be able to write this book,because there are a lot of
things you had to remember thatmaybe you didn't want to
(20:55):
remember, but you needed to inorder not only to heal but to
finish, you know know, writingthe book so that others can heal
so if you, the hardest part forme to write was uh tell me the
hardest part of this book foryou to write what scene was the
(21:17):
hardest and why was it?
Speaker 3 (21:18):
one of them was um china leaving China leaving.
The other one was when my unclemolested me and I had to leave
my dad.
The other one was when I lost.
(21:40):
Well, when you know, my unbornchild's life was taken still
inside of me by somebody who Ithought when I lost.
Well, when you know, my unbornchild's life was taken still
inside of me by somebody who Ithought that I really really
loved very much and I thoughtthat they loved me.
And the other one was theepilogue, which goes into the
(22:05):
next book, but it also goes intome trying to commit suicide
while I was still pregnant withmy oldest son.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Right, right, right, um, one of the things you
mentioned.
I was going to ask you about um, when, when your child was
(22:41):
taken and I like the way you saythat you know, because that's
not what, that's not the word Iused, correct, you know that's
not the word I used Um, but youknow, you were, you were beaten
so severely that it caused you,you know, to lose your child.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Why didn't you have a prayer about it?
I did alert the people.
So let's get this clear when Idid go to the hospital it's the
things I just moved on into thenext chapter because it was
still a lot of things I did notunpack.
I did go to the hospital.
I did tell them who did it tome.
I did not give them hisgovernment name, but I gave them
(23:28):
his street name and they saidyou don't know his government
name.
And I said no, and the reasonwhy I said that is because we go
through things with people andwe still cannot help how we feel
about that person, cannot helphow we feel about that person,
right.
So I knew that he was in a badplace.
I knew that I was in a badplace.
(23:50):
I took a lot of theresponsibility and felt like I
was the reason it happened atthat time.
I don't feel that way now, butat 17, 18 years old, I'm feeling
like it's my fault.
I knew that he was alreadyupset.
I knew that I shouldn't haveanswered his phone.
(24:11):
I knew that was his newgirlfriend on the phone.
I knew this.
I knew he was drinking.
I knew so I shouldn't have saidthis or did this because I
triggered him and I put all theblame on me.
So I shouldn't have said thisor did this because I triggered
him and I just I put all theblame on me and I was like, so I
don't want to be the one to gethim locked up on top of that
(24:36):
and you know he was veryapologetic afterwards, made it
seem like, you know, it was allmy fault.
I'm the reason, you know.
And then he went and toldeverybody I had an abortion, you
know, just to, and I went alongwith it because I don't want
the rest of his family, you know, to feel no type of way.
(24:58):
They were more so understandingthat I got an abortion that he
engaged knowing I was going tocollege, but I didn't want him
to have any turmoil with myfamily.
I never even told my familythat he did this to me until his
book came out.
Like, my own sisters andbrothers didn't know that this
happened to me.
Only person that knew was myfriend.
(25:21):
Katina knew was my friendkatina.
Um, she knew, right, and I gota friend named asia, right.
They knew other than that.
Um, nobody knew what he did tome because, uh well, mr cox did
um, but nobody else you know,and I I kept that because I was
trying to save him.
(25:42):
But let's be clear, I did get arestraining order but I told
them it was because he hit me,but I did not tell them to the
extent that I lost my height.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Exactly.
So now right, I saw that RightRight.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I read the book.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
Right, I saw that right, right I.
I read the book.
So now tell this, tell me this,um, as when you were a social
worker, and even now, how do?
Speaker 3 (26:19):
you know what I place my?
Speaker 4 (26:21):
I put myself back in that place and I try to talk to
them the way I would talk tomyself.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
But what I don't do is tell them oh, you need to
hurry up and leave, you need tohurry up and leave.
The reason why I don't do thatis because that's the quickest
way to lose them.
I try to stay in contact withthem, I try to console them and
let them you know, tell them mystory and hopefully that will
(26:49):
scare them straight.
But then I also leave them with.
You control the narrative.
You have dominion over yourlife, so nobody can do to you
anything you don't allow them to.
So I always give kind of toughlove and just tell people look,
either you're going to stay anddon't cry, or leave and don't
(27:11):
cry.
But don't stay and cry anddon't stay in compliance,
because you have the millionover your life.
Nobody can make that decisionfor you.
You have to make it foryourself.
So that's pretty much how Ileave it.
I'm very straightforward, butI'm also empathetic to what's
(27:33):
going on with them.
I just let them know look, yougot control over your life.
One thing you can't do with me,though, is stay and complain.
Either do something about it oryou stay there and shut up
about it right, yeah, and, andthat's that.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
I'm glad you, um, that's how you handle it,
because you know that is how itneeds to be held, because you
can't tell grownups what to doand you have to give them the
opportunity to realize that theyare in control, regardless of
(28:21):
which way they go.
They are in control, you know.
So I'm glad that that's the wayyou know you handle it.
You know you handle it.
So I have um, you know um.
You and I have have worked on alot of projects.
(28:45):
I've been on your podcastseveral times and um, and had a
lot of fun, and so I want you totell the audience which of my
books is your favorite.
But I want you to tell me whyit's your favorite and who in it
is your favorite, why you gotto make me choose.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
It's okay, though.
It's okay, you put me on thespot now.
So, yes, ma'am, out of all ofthem, I would have to say,
because I'm gonna have to saymichael, michael and uninvited
(29:27):
memories.
Um, michael Michael andUninvited Memories.
Just I just he was likecharming, you know, he gave me a
lot of, if you ever read theColdest One's Ever, he gave me a
(29:49):
lot of Midnight.
I think I told you this before.
But I'm still, I'm stillsticking with Michael Michael.
He was mine in the beginning,he's mine now.
It ain't changing over here.
It ain't changing over here.
I like Michael, but I also, anddead girl walking, I like Jane.
(30:13):
Jane reminds me a lot of me.
So I like Jane and dead girlswalking and I like Michael.
I'm trying to see who else.
It was somebody else.
And no, I'm not cheating, I'mtrying to think it was somebody
(30:37):
else.
And no, I'm not cheating, I'mtrying to think it was somebody
else.
It was somebody else.
It was another Scotty, I don'tknow.
I don't know about Scotty.
Scotty kind of I don't knowScotty, scotty kind of I don't
(30:57):
know Scotty.
Yes, yeah, scotty.
Next question you have alove-hate relationship with
Scotty, I probably want to sayJane, because she reminds me a
lot of me.
So my favorite character isJane but my favorite book is
Uninvited Memories.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
Uninvited Memories?
Yeah, so Uninvited memories?
Yeah, so that is.
I asked you what was thehardest part to write in your
book.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Mouths Can't Arise.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Without Earthquakes.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
So tell me what part brought you the most joy?
Um, earthquakes.
So tell me, the most joyouspart that I wrote in mountains
was when I met just the cop, andwhy.
Um, when I met my husband, buthe wasn't my husband, then he
was just my friend.
Just feel that little schoolgirl feeling I felt, you know,
and be able to relive that.
It was a very, very happy,happy time in my life.
(32:13):
When I met him, no matter what Iwas going through, if I was
depressed or whatever.
You know he was first he wasjust like an army recruiter, but
me and him ended up becomingvery, very good friends and he
was always somebody.
No matter what I could get onthe phone, he always had the
same number.
To this day, almost 20 years,still got the same number and I
(32:35):
could just get up if I was goingthrough anything, no matter
what time, day or night.
He will always answer the phonefor me, even when he was was
was hurt and in kentucky on thebase in the hospital I I called
him and he answered and itdidn't matter because we were
(32:57):
just really good friends likethat.
And to go back and know that youknow what these people was
trying to molest me, trying todo all this stuff to me while
I'm trying to sign up, you know,for the military.
And he had, like this bigranking in the military and I
(33:18):
told him and he jeopardized hiswhole career, his whole
reputation at that place forsomebody he had just met.
He had just met me, not even amonth, I was just a recruit and
he had my back and it remindedme of my daddy, you know, like
(33:39):
wow, like my dad be having myback, like that, you know, and I
had missed that because I hadbeen separated from my daddy for
so long.
And I was like, yeah, this is,you know, my brothers don't even
take up for me, like that, youknow, and I had went through so
much being taken away, you know,from my, you know my biological
(33:59):
family, and I went through somuch in the system and nobody
ever had my back, my caseworkers, nobody ever had my back when
those things happened to me, myback when those things happen to
me.
So to just meet somebody andthink, oh, they just trying to
get you know, recruitment ortrying to get paid off of me to
recruit me, that's how I'mlooking at him, like okay, he
(34:20):
cool, but maybe he just, youknow, being cool with me and
hanging out with me until I, youknow, until I get uh sworn in,
then I ain't gonna hear from himno more.
That was my thought process,right.
But I'm like, why would hejeopardize?
Why would he leave, you know,his house with whoever he was
with at the time and they shoutand and get up at two o'clock in
the morning to come get me?
(34:41):
Because I'm afraid and I'mtelling you know, and he did
that he came in some somebasketball shorts and and a
sweater I'll never forget, witha do-rag on his head and he had
some socks on, with these Nikeslacks and he was looking good
and I was like, just took my manoff everything, but he still
(35:04):
like he was upset because hedidn't know.
But once I told him whathappened, he jeopardized his
ranking.
He's going against a chiefofficer.
You know like he jeopardizedhimself to take up for me and I
always remembered that I alwaysso.
So when I had to write thatpart and that was the most joy,
(35:28):
um, writing about, you know thebeginning of me meeting him in
the beginning of ourrelationship.
It was beautiful Baby, my manwas at the wrong spot.
(36:02):
I told y'all I was out of thebox and he was so mad because
he's so Buick, lesar and he hadlike Rams on their TVs and they,
like I didn't know he even hadthat car because I always seen
them in the government car, sohe didn't come and pick me up.
So now I'm thinking I'mvalidated Now, like oh, I'm in
here.
He came to pick me up in hiscar and so I'm just like, yeah,
(36:24):
so yeah, he liked me, girl.
I'm thinking in my head like,yeah, he liked me, he really
liked me.
And then, on top of that, I'mlooking.
I'm seeing he got thesebasketball shorts on.
They was gray basketball shorts.
I will never forget it and Iwill never forget it.
And I just kept looking at them.
Shorts, jesus, fix it.
I just kept looking at theprint in the shorts, like
(36:48):
everything in the shorts, and Iwas just like Lord.
And he was like, see, that's aproblem.
Look you focusing on the wrongstuff.
And I'm just like you think I'mfocusing on the wrong stuff.
I'm focusing on the right stuff, and you know.
So please, let's move on.
But you know, girl, let's moveon.
(37:18):
This is, this must befaith-based.
I can't be dicked.
Move on, mr cox.
Oh jesus, so um okay, let'smove on.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
Let's make the costume.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Shorts, lord, calm down we at the right time.
Speaker 4 (37:39):
Thank you, jesus right when I needed something to
distract me from what was goingon, so okay yeah, mr cops had
himself in the right place.
Yeah, so now what was going onexactly?
(38:04):
There's a not kind of funny buttragic scene you wrote in
Mountains Can't Rise WithoutEarthquakes.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Just read it for me, because I had to change some
names to keep privacy protectedbecause they were saying they
were going to try to sue me.
Tell me what it's saying.
I can remember who Slim was itsays it says right, oh yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
It says.
It says oh yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Of course.
Oh, that was my uncle Oliver.
Yes, oh, man Well.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
I literally remember the arrival of one uncle in
particular, he had a knack ofcreating the most delicious
mother potatoes I have evertasted.
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Yeah, he came.
Look, it was a long time beforemy Uncle Oliver came back.
Of course, y'all saw him againafter that.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
That was my grandmother.
Well, I was going to ask you,did you?
Ever see him again.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
So y'all so okay.
So in the scene my uncle hemade the best mother potatoes.
Okay, everybody got their dish.
My auntie, she makes the bestpotato salad.
You know, my daddy had the bestspaghetti and my uncle, he had
the best smothered potatoes.
Ok, so that's how we all knewwho was, you know, the champ of
(39:38):
these certain things.
Right, and so he was going togive it.
He had his grease on the stove.
Now, she don't lit the stovewith the grease in the skillet.
It was a, it was a black.
What do you call those things?
It was a black.
What do you call those things?
Tartar skillet.
She had the grease on there.
She done lit it, right, and putan egg, a raw egg, like an egg
(40:04):
out of a carton, in there.
She didn't crack it or nothing,she just put the egg in there
and put a top on it and she putthe thing on high.
Now, now, I ain't the bestscientist in the world, but I
know that that don't match and Iknew it at that time.
So when I saw my uncle going tothe kitchen, I didn't want to
(40:24):
warn him because I'm gonna bereal with y'all.
My little sister whooped me atthat time, okay, and she was my
little, she was younger than me,but she was bigger than me and
she, her punch was more powerfulthan mine.
So she came up, she gave me alittle.
I'm not gonna say nothing.
(40:44):
I'm like girl, I ain't gonnasay nothing.
So when he went in there and hetook that he was getting ready
to reach for that, for that topon that skillet I jumped behind
the couch because I knew it wasgoing to be blast off and she
took his whole eye out y'all.
And it was because, people, Icould understand the frustration
(41:05):
that my little sister hadbecause we all had it.
We already stayed.
All of us stayed with mygrandmother, right, it was five
of us that stayed with mygrandmother, right, it was five
of us, you know, that stayedwith my grandmother, and it was
a three-bedroom house and it wasall five of us, plus my grandma
, plus my granddaddy.
So anybody that would come overwe would have to leave our room,
or my grandma gotta come in ourroom with us, you know.
(41:28):
And they get her room.
And then when she come in ourroom with us, she had a bucket,
you know that.
She used to sit and boo-boo atnight, you know, and pee, and
the little thing, the little,you know what the doctor give
you when you can't make it tothe bathroom, you get that thing
in your room.
She had that, so she had tobring that in the room with us.
(41:48):
Like that's just uncomfortable,you know, like we gotta smell
you at night going to boo-boobecause you can.
All this was just like, and wealways looked at the people,
like her sons or her daughtersor her other grandkids.
They always want to come overthere and every time they come
over our house they eat up allthe food, they eat up all the
(42:09):
snacks.
You know they get all mygrandma money.
They come, they steal all stuffand we was fed up so we would
play pranks on them.
But she took it too far.
She took his whole eye out andso, yeah, you know we saw him
after that, but it was a longtime.
My grandma had to beg her sonto come back over after that
because he ended up having toget a glass out.
(42:30):
Like it was crazy.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Well, you know, it's good too, though, you, you know,
when you remember, um, yeah,good too when you remember
things from your past, becausenow, first of all, you survived
your past, um, and even evenwhen there were times when you
wasn't sure if you were going tosurvive, and now you can look
back on those things and and youknow, and write stories about
(43:13):
them and and see how far god hasbrought you amen yeah, and so I
want to ask a question aboutyour spiritual life.
Um, for as long as I've knownyou, you have been a woman of
God, but even though you knewthat the only way you were going
(43:39):
to survive, except when I gotpregnant with my oldest son when
did you realize that howimportant God really was?
Speaker 3 (43:48):
in your life and for your life.
My mama wasn't nowhere to befound, me and my son's father
wasn't together.
I was flunking in school.
I had a job but I couldn't keepa regular job and it was just
so much going on.
I was fighting with my friends.
(44:09):
I couldn't figure out who wasmy friend, who wasn't.
I had just found out that, youknow, the only friend I thought
that was really my friend wassleeping with my son's father.
So it was a lot going on and Ijust didn't want to be here, no
more.
I was like I don't got nofriends, I don't got no family
that care about me.
You know, it was a lot going onand I was at a friend of mine's
(44:31):
house that stayed on the rightby the lake in Chicago on the
south side, and I was up, I wason the top floor and I took
pills.
I took pills, I was ready to go.
I was like I don't want to behere, no more.
And then, once I took the pills, I was like, oh man, I'm
(44:53):
pregnant, like God, like youknow.
Why are you forcing me to behere, you know?
And so when I woke up, I wokeup with strapped down.
I was in the hospital, but Iwas strapped down because my
friend told them I was suicidaland I had just really just had a
(45:16):
breakdown and I didn't want tobe here, no more.
So I guess you can considerthat suicidal, but I just, you
know, I was willing to go and Itook some pills, some Tylenol 3s
.
I think I took about 30 Tylenol3s.
And then I went in her cabinetand I took two of her mom's
heart pills and I was like, andI knew how they look because my
(45:40):
grandma had them they was in asmall brown bottle, clear glass
bottle, and they were very, verytiny, very, very tiny pills.
And so I knew the pill.
I was like just that heartmedicine right here and it.
It's basically like bloodpressure pills, but they were.
My grandma would call themheart pills, but they were blood
pressure pills.
(46:00):
So I took about 30 Tylenolthrees and then I took two heart
pills and I woke up.
They had pumped my stomach andeverything and I was still
asleep.
But I woke up and that's when Iknew like God got a reason for
me to be here, um, and then Iwas so very, um, apologetic,
(46:22):
because how selfish could I be?
And and and, and it's not thatI knew that I was taking my, my
child out because I think atthat moment, to be honest with
you, I forgot.
I forgot I was even carryinghim.
I just knew I was ready to go,because people don't understand.
Like when you go and do thosethings and you break down, you
(46:43):
don't really consider everythingelse that's around you or
everybody else that's around you.
You can love them people todeath, but that's not what's on
your mind.
That don't make you selfish.
It's just like I'm not thinkingabout this right now.
This so much is going on.
It's a pile on and you got tohave the strong sense of faith
(47:07):
to be able to get through thosethings, because I could have
went and tried to do it again,but once I did that, god said to
do it again.
But once I did that, god saidyou did that wrong.
You did that all wrong.
You don't even understandwhat's about to occur in your
life.
You don't even understand whatthis child is going to bring to
you by having this child, whatyou have to do is essential.
(47:33):
You have to be here, and sothat was it right and and um.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
That's another testimony that you will be able
to tell.
That will help other people youknow, because you never know
when you're going be able tohear how you know you survived
it now you know what planning,and I think that's the reason
people think that, and now a lotof people think that.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
The reason why I'm so close with my oldest son is
because only the oldest childand he looks like you, but I
think it's because I'm stillreal apologetic about that.
(48:53):
You know it's like I treat themboth the same, but I think with
him it's like he needs.
I just feel like he needs toknow, you know.
So whatever I can do, you know,and nobody can say, hey, you
(49:17):
don't have to do that for him.
That's gonna happen to the day Idie, to the day I'm no longer
here he's gonna know that he'sthat what I did in that moment
was not a reflection of you.
It's because of you that I'mstill here, you know yeah.
Speaker 4 (49:48):
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
But that's just something that I feel is just.
It's gonna always be there inme you know.
Speaker 4 (50:00):
Whatever he asked you know, what somebody you know,
the answer is always the same.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
You know somebody because I've been through
therapy about this for years and, and and I've always had a
therapist, no matter which oneit was tell me me.
Oh, you don't have to be thatway.
I'm sure your son loves you hedoes that but it's going to
always be second nature to me toprove that to him and I don't
want to change that about me.
I don't want to change becausethat's what makes me the mom
(50:28):
that I am.
That's what fuels me to pourthat type of love into my kids.
So I don't want to stop doingthat.
I will not stop feeling thisway.
I don't want to stop feelingthis way when I think about that
.
You know some people are like.
I just wish I could stopfeeling this guilt.
No, no, that's one that I wantto have because it fuels me to
(50:53):
become the best mom that I couldbe for my kids and that fueled
me to pick the best man to bethe dad for my kids and that
fueled me to live the best lifeand show them nothing and teach
them.
You know what?
You don't have to take thisfrom somebody.
You have the million over yourlife.
(51:14):
What them teachers at thatschool is saying don't matter,
because at the end of the day,it's about how you feel about
your grade and how your parentsfeel about your grade.
You know they can give theiropinion, but never take what
they say at face value, becauseat the end of the day, the only
thing that matters is you, andif you work hard for that, we're
(51:35):
going to accept it.
So that's it.
And if I didn't feel this guiltabout that situation and I just
went on about it, who knows,you know Right, my attitude
(51:55):
would be very different.
Yeah, but it's just.
That was the turning point inmy life to say you know what I
need to get my stuff together,because I got a kid here.
And he needs to know that thisdid not happen because of him.
I mean, that's not to say itwould be a bad attitude that
(52:15):
made me feel this way.
I mean, this was the attack ofthe enemy that made me feel this
way, and that's when I knewthat God, like you know, you
always, I've always been achurch, I've always been a
spiritual person.
I was raised in a lot ofdifferent denominations,
actually because I moved fromthis place to that place.
(52:36):
So I've I've studied jehovahwitness, I've studied catholic,
I've studied um buddhism, Istudy all these things, right,
um?
And that's how I was able tofigure out that I'm
non-denominational.
But I also know that I'm achristian but I'm not
denominational, which means, youknow, I'm not a Baptist or I'm
not, you know, or I don't, youknow I'm not church of God in
(52:59):
Christ or these different things.
No, I was raised in church ofGod in Christ.
I was raised in baptism, I wasraised in African Methodist,
episcopal.
You know, I was raised in allthese different denominations
and I said I can learn from eachone so I can choose what I
believe with each religion, andthat helps me to become a better
(53:23):
person, because I only choosethe good things, right?
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (53:32):
yeah exactly exactly so, exactly, chicago Diamond.
So I have one question thatwell, I want to talk about your
(54:00):
online story.
Yes, chicago Diamond.
Speaker 3 (54:11):
It's on Pocket FM.
Get the app Pocket FM.
It's on Pocket FM.
Get the app Pocket FM.
It's a wonderful story.
Speaker 4 (54:16):
It's a wonderful story, A Chi-town love story,
and I'm sure thousands andthousands of people are
listening to it right now and ifyou're not, you need to start
and it's only been a couplemonths, yeah.
So what I?
(54:42):
What I want to tell, what Iwant to ask you is you know, as
authors, you know, we sit downto our computer and we we say,
okay, I'm gonna write a fewpages of of my book today.
I'm gonna write a few pages ofmy book today.
I may skip a few days and Imight write a few pages.
But for for chicago diamond,you are writing and posting like
(55:10):
every day, or or close to everyday, or close to every day.
It's like it is published thesame day you write it.
I looked at that and then Idecided no, that's not for me,
(55:30):
but you are the perfect personfor it, you know, because, yeah,
yeah, 28 chapters and so it's,and it just keeps moving and
(55:51):
going.
It's almost like a soap opera.
I'm like, oh, these peoplegetting on my nerves, you know.
But I am enjoying it and so Ithink you should advertise it
more.
You know, because it is really.
You know, I really like itbecause it keeps moving and and
(56:18):
you think you know what's goingto happen, and then it doesn't,
and so, um, and you think oneperson is going to act one way,
and then they don't.
And you know, you want to go,get on a plane, go to chicago,
choke their neck, get on theplane and come back home.
You know, but, but I really,really, really, I think, because
(56:46):
of your personality, um, thissuits you.
I mean, to write a regular book, like the rest of us do, suits
you, but this suits you becauseit's like your.
Your mind is always creating you, your mind is always creating
something.
I am always when I get up inthe mornings, you know.
(57:08):
So you know, and, and they'll,and there'll be a poster,
there'll be some something.
You know that that you havedone because, because god has
really given you the gift ofcreativity and you are using it
(57:30):
well and um and so, and so youare blessing so many people
because of your creativity, andmy family and my friends.
When I'm talking about you,they're like is she the one that
does the pictures?
(57:51):
I'm like, yes, she's the onethat does the pictures.
I'm like, yes, she's the onethat does the pictures.
Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh, okay, I like her thank you, chicago, dad is just
so fun um but yes, you know, andI was, if you remember, once we
started with this project youknow, I'm just the one woman.
You know I try my best tosqueeze that in on top of just
(58:17):
more people helping everybody,you know, with whatever they're
doing, and it's only so much onthat page that you could post
within a day, right.
So I'm like, okay, chicagodiamond can sit down and it's
actually working a number on itsown because when people
download it it's so high in therankings right now it's like a
(58:39):
4.7 star and it has like allthese views, so it's gonna do
itself, right.
But yes, it really is, and it'sso fun to write because I like
being able to bring thesecharacters to life and just, I'm
a sucker for a cliffhanger andI'm a sucker for, um, something
(59:02):
not going the way that otherpeople expected to go.
So I like to take my charactersand make them do things that
you wouldn't imagine them doing.
So this, and as for myanointing, thank you so much, dr
(59:22):
Velma um, you know you run intopeople and you wonder, you know
if they're going to accept you.
Or I remember speaking tosomeone who I was friends with
this time last year and I wassaying I don't know what my gift
is, I don't know what I can do,and she told me.
(59:46):
She said, girl, you just don'tunderstand.
You know, all the talent thatyou have is people that were
killed for your talent.
It's people that would, wouldsacrifice everything just to
have what you have.
And I didn't understand that atthe time, because I'm looking
at this person like, well, youyou gifted.
(01:00:08):
You know, I don't know what mygift is, but then I started
doing things for people and butI would never say that it was me
that was doing the things I'vedone book covers for people,
trailers for people, flyers.
I've edited books.
I've proofread books, I'veghostwritten books.
(01:00:29):
I've ghostwritten chapters forpeople for them, and different,
different.
You know things and and I neversay nothing, I always stayed in
the background, I never.
I've done graphics.
I've done.
You name it, I've done it, andI've never said any very low key
(01:00:50):
.
Uh, because I didn't really.
I just thought it was justsomething I was doing, it's a
hobby.
I didn't think about it as thisbeing my oil and this can be the
thing that I need to, becauseat that time, you know, I got
thyroid cancer, I got lupus, soI don't get up and work a nine
to five like everybody else, andso I wasn't bringing in nothing
(01:01:11):
.
My husband was doing everything.
But then I was wondering, justlike the lady with the oil in
the Bible right.
You're wondering, like what canI do?
Because I don't have anythingand the ends are not meeting
right now.
What can I do?
Well, lady, go grab you somejars, go borrow some jars, and
take the oil you got in thereand sell it.
(01:01:35):
I gave it to you, I put itinside of you, use it.
So then it was like you know,once I start coming out of the
shadows and say, hey, you know,I'm going to need y'all to start
telling people who doing thisstuff for y'all, because I need
this work, because as long asyou're telling people that
you're doing it.
Audreyrey, and you know, and you, you just putting it up there
(01:01:58):
and you're not saying, hey, bythe way, this the person who did
the graphics.
If y'all looking for graphics,or if you're looking for this,
or you're looking for a ghostwriter, or you're looking for
somebody who to help you brandstrategizing, and like they used
to say, hey, I'm just callingyou to pick your brain, or you
put my brain to two three in themorning, or I can't get to work
(01:02:20):
on roku.
Can you help me?
And I'm up to two three in themorning, that's it work.
Hey, if you need some help withit, hey, this the person to
call.
I got none of that and that'sokay, but I but I moved on right
.
So it's like, when you, you move, be a blessing to people, and
that's not to throw it up.
(01:02:40):
You be a blessing to people,but you also realize and notice
what your blessing is and youuse the water god gave you and
it will never deplete.
They think that.
They think that they havedrained.
The enemy would think that theyhave drained.
The enemy would think that theyhave drained everything out of
you.
Okay, all her pollen gone.
I can move on to the nextflower.
But what you?
(01:03:01):
fail to realize is that I am awhale.
Okay, my whale never, uh uh uh.
My dad used to say this abouthow I ate A bottomless pit, I'm
a bottomless pit.
My well, look, my anointing islike a bottomless pit.
(01:03:23):
God put so much in me it'llnever go away and it's so much
things that I have yet to knowthat I'm good at.
That's what it's to wake up inthe morning and be like let me
try to see if I could do this.
And, extraordinarily, I thankyou.
Thank you, god.
I didn't even know I could dothat.
I didn't know I could do that.
(01:03:45):
I didn't know I could blesssomebody with that.
I didn't know that what I saidto this person saved their life.
I had a girl to tell me after Ileft a speaking engagement last
year, a girl I saw that sheended up working at a theme park
around my house and she saidyour book saved my life.
(01:04:07):
I gave them all copies of itCan't Always Be Night and she
said I read your book.
She was like and I just wantedto give up At that time I was at
a low point and I didn't wantto be here no more and I read
your book and it helped me.
It helped me get out of anabusive relationship and then he
ended up with some killing him.
So you never know who can beimpacted with your story.
Speaker 4 (01:04:36):
You never know and I think god put up oh, wow right,
(01:05:08):
right, the thing is, yeah, andthe thing is we just have to be
willing to tell our story.
You know, we just have to hearthe Holy Spirit letting us know,
regardless of whatever's goingon around us, regardless of who,
that the Holy Spirit knows whenit's our time.
(01:05:31):
And the Holy Spirit will let usknow when it's our time and it
is definitely your time, becauseyou have helped so many people
and I don't know a lot of people, but I listened to the three or
four people that I know talkabout the three or four people
that they know that you helpedand the three or four people
that they know that you helpedhelp, and so god is is is moving
(01:06:02):
your name throughout theindustry and you are always
going to be a blessing tosomebody.
Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
Okay, because I have always got women who have come
together long as you put godfirst as long as you take care
of your family, then you'regoing to always be a blessing to
somebody else, but I do want tosay this because I know, it is
so important to take care ofyourself as well.
The waiting room, especiallywhen we're battling with
(01:06:30):
illnesses.
Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
It's so important for us to take care of ourselves.
Speaker 3 (01:06:34):
We're coming out with an anthology based on the
waiting room.
How has God shown up for you inyour work time?
How has he delivered you fromyour waiting room?
What projects are you workingon now?
What emotions are you goingthrough right now and they are
not telling stories that theyhave told before.
They are giving you newexperiences about other things
(01:06:57):
that may have happened to themin their life.
With these esteemed authorstold before and the plethora
came out with, you will not hearthe same story twice.
So this is exclusive that theyhave entrusted in me.
And that was um and God.
That that God shall I say tobring forth and um, um also.
(01:07:20):
You know it was.
It was such a uh outpour ofwomen who contacted me and was
like how can I be a part of this?
How can I do this?
Because I was trying to figureout what I do.
I do want people to be able totell their story.
I do want people to be able togive their testimony or to have.
(01:07:42):
I want to extend thatopportunity out.
Well, a friend of mine, drBellman, came to me one day and
said what about a devotional?
Maybe you could do a devotional.
That way you could bring peoplein who might not have had the
funds or the the resources tojoin the anthology.
Give them a chance to tell, tobe a part of development for
(01:08:02):
that.
So now we got two books comingout on the same day we got the
anthology and then we have.
I am getting a plethora ofpeople coming to me, um, asking
y'all and um that we'll see howthey can turn it into a play or
(01:08:23):
a movie like, what can we dowith it?
So, um, I'm I'm trying tofigure out the best attorney, uh
, to handle that right now.
So I'm dealing with that.
And then I just got an emailfrom me to have my own column on
Patheos, which is one of thelargest Christian-based sites
(01:08:46):
that speak on different topicsand religion.
So they have asked me to comeon as a paid columnist to write
for their website.
And, of course, you know Iwrite for Podstars magazine.
My girl, teresa Howell, is theeditor-in-chief and owner of
(01:09:10):
that magazine and Miss Queenieactually introduced me to her.
Let's see what else.
My youngest son book, uh, mysuperpowers are not weird, um,
him and his dad.
They have a joint uhcollaboration book that they
just came out with.
That's a bestseller, um, sothat that was in the works.
The camp, uh, rise Rise WithoutEarthquakes actually has a
(01:09:34):
prequel coming out, and that oneis based on my mom's life and
it's called Fine Light China.
So I'm working on that andhopefully I can be able to have
that out by June.
I was actually the maincharacter in Mountains Can't
Rise Without Earthquake.
(01:09:54):
But China stole the story,stole the show and because of
that she knows it too.
She let everybody know.
Yeah, you know, my baby cameout this book.
But, you know, people love me,you know, if it wasn't for me,
you know she probably wouldn'thave sold that book.
My story sold the books and Ilet her run with it and I let
(01:10:14):
her be great.
I love my mama, wherever you at, whatever you at, but I love
you.
But she basically took she, she, she, she, chyna.
That's me.
So you know, she's very, veryproud of it and, um, yeah, so I,
I and just tell her storybecause a lot of people, um,
don't understand her and they,they did, why she left, um, and
(01:10:36):
why she never got her kids back,and I want to be able to redeem
her.
I want to be able to, you know,let people know.
Look, you know she wastraumatized.
She went through a lot with,not just with my dad and his
family, but with her own family.
People hurt people and she feltlike she was doing the right
thing by doing what she did andleaving because she felt like
(01:10:59):
that her presence would be evenmore tumultuous to our lives.
I give her all the respect inthe world.
Right, jada, my oldest son.
Right, jayden, my oldest son,right, yeah, son marvis was the
(01:11:25):
same way about this, and thatbook teaches the kids to have
self-discipline, know when to dotheir chores and those
different things, and heabsolutely loved that book.
When he was about three thatwas his favorite book.
That's all he wanted to readevery single day was
self-discipline and now hisfavorite books.
You ask him his favorite book,you would think he would say the
(01:11:46):
Honorable Bee or his book noDog man, that's like a little
cartoon dog superhero, um, andyeah, so that's his favorite
book.
And you would think it's thehonorable b, but it's actually
um, uh, life of a firefly,firefly, um, and it's actually
(01:12:12):
by one of the authors of.
He loves that book.
So you know, what can you do?
They write their own books anddon't even say their own books
is their favorite, but they aremy favorite children's books.
How about that?
Because they are deeply rootedin the word.
Jayden's book is is uh, stemmedfrom the, the uh, the 11th.
(01:12:32):
And marcus's book is stemmedfrom the 11th.
And Marvis's book is stemmedfrom the Bible verse, so these
books are a replica.
Jayden's book is Anti-BullyingStrengths and you know to get
over that.
And then Marvis's book is aboutyou know how he and my niece's
favorite book is the HonorablePete.
(01:12:54):
You know, people do what theydon't understand and everything
is not a handicap.
What he has is not a handicap.
It actually is a superhero andit's a superpower.
Speaker 4 (01:13:06):
And I have to let him know I'm Einstein.
Speaker 3 (01:13:09):
And they deemed him crazy, and now he's known as one
of the top geniuses of our time.
Yeah, you wore me down, yeah,yeah.
(01:13:30):
Yeah, I know you did did.
Yeah, I always get emotional.
People try to criticize.
I've been attacked andcriticized for you know things
that I do for my kids and youknow saying I'm or that, um, I
(01:13:51):
shouldn't be trying to get an 11year old book to be a
bestseller and these and I'mlike how could you even think
that way?
you're supposed to ask so.
When I think about those things, that how people try to attack
me if I'm being, um, I get, Iget very, um, defensive and I
get very emotional because, yeah, I know that that child was
(01:14:13):
almost not here and it was myfault.
You know so.
You know that's going to always, that you know so that would
always is going to always get meemotional.
Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
Well, yes, yes, right , right, Right.
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:14:49):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3 (01:14:54):
Right, mm-hmm.
And you can see that it's realbecause it's a reflection of now
how my oldest son treats me.
He comes in, he checks on me,he makes me breakfast every
(01:15:16):
morning and making sure that I'mokay Every hour of the day.
And my youngest son, he showersme with love.
And they cannot best learnbehavior.
They only mirror what they see,you know.
Speaker 4 (01:15:33):
That's the word, yeah .
Speaker 3 (01:15:37):
Listen, linda.
Speaker 4 (01:15:37):
you know, yeah, listen Linda, I'll station here
you can find me on Facebook ifyou put in a first part at
Jacqueline Cox, or you can dofacebookcom forward slash
listenlinda23.
Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
I'm on Instagram spiritualsunbeam2020.
I'm on spiritual SpiritualSunbeam 2020.
I'm on Bread Spiritual Sunbeam2020.
And I've been coached intogoing on X.
I'm on theirs.
Listen, linda 23.
I appreciate it.
(01:16:13):
Mm-hmm.
I love you too.
(01:16:34):
Well, I just want to say thattoday has been most satisfying
interviews that I've had in avery long time.
I'm so grateful to Miss Audrey.
Look, when I told y'all that,when I told the women in the
anthology that they were goingto interview me Right, maybe
(01:16:57):
they jumped up.
They were ready.
They said we can get ouropinions in paper.
We're going to get her backbecause she made us cry.
So we're going to get her back.
But no, seriously, in allhonesty, I really enjoyed.
Speaker 4 (01:17:12):
I tell you, if anybody saw the relationship
between you, your mentorship,your therapy sessions that we
had, they would not have anydoubt that.
God knew exactly what he wasdoing.
Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:17:29):
So I applaud you for being an awesome author and
being an awesome businesswomanawesome author and I'm in a room
called the book slam and Dr.
Velma, showing how much loveyou have and for everybody, ms
Laquita Parks and especially MrMarvis um Facebook and um you,
and he remind me of me and myhusband when we were young.
(01:17:51):
Who invited me to her boot camp, that he hosted on Tuesday I
really appreciate the way youtake care of you, especially all
the things that you are goingthrough.
Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
I really appreciate that I have remained very good
friends with y'all when thispoor little baby yeah, like Jane
and dead girl walking.
Speaker 4 (01:18:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:18:12):
And I appreciate you all and you guys the audience.
Okay, yeah, okay, and Iappreciate you all and you guys
the audience, and I would say aprayer, but we're going to leave
with Nikki Giovanni and heradaptation of the Rose that Grew
From Concrete by RS B Park.
Speaker 4 (01:18:31):
So tell everybody how to find you.
Thank you, okay.
(01:19:20):
Well, ma'am, I reallyappreciate spending this time
with you and I I I am so, soblessed to be a part of your
life and a part of the projectsthat you have going on, and I
know that you will alwayscontinue to bless people,
because God blesses you everyday and you appreciate him for
(01:19:45):
those blessings.
So you take care and I love you.
And is there anything else youwant to say to the audience?
Speaker 1 (01:20:43):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:20:55):
Praise God.
Speaker 3 (01:21:58):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:22:02):
Okay, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 4 (01:22:30):
You do the same.
Speaker 6 (01:22:36):
You try to plant something in the concrete.
You know what I mean.
You do the same Same thing withme.
You know what I mean.
I grew out of all this insteadof saying, damn, he did this, he
did this, just like damn, hegrew out of that, he came out of
that.
That's what they should see.
You know what I mean All thetime, so I have to make that.
I have to turn and answer.
You know what I meanUnbelievable.
(01:22:58):
I just want to be gay.
Speaker 5 (01:23:30):
That's what I'm saying.
Did you hear about the rosethat grew from a crack in the
concrete Proving nature's lawswrong.
It learned how to walk withouthaving to be Funny, it seems,
but by keeping its dreams itlearned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grewfrom concrete when no one else
even cared.
No one else even cared.
(01:23:51):
The rose that grew fromconcrete.
Did you hear?
Did you hear about the rosethat?
Speaker 4 (01:24:01):
grew from a crack in the concrete, Proving nature's
laws wrong.
It learned to walk withouthaving feet.
Funny, it seems, but by keepingits dreams it learned to
breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grewfrom concrete when no one else
even cared.
Speaker 5 (01:24:21):
Keeping all its dreams, proving nature's laws
wrong.
It learned how to walk withouthaving to breathe To breathe the
fresh air.
It came from concrete Tobreathe the fresh air.
Speaker 6 (01:24:33):
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
When the fresh air?
To breathe the fresh air.
To dream about the wrong thingTo run the track in the car.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To dream about the wrong thing.
To breathe the fresh air.
To breathe the fresh air.
(01:24:53):
To dream about the wrong thing?
To breathe the fresh air.
Don't ask me why.
Thank God, nigga.
Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
No-transcript no-transcript you're doing a
(01:39:49):
good job, congratulations.
Thank you, mama.
Okay, I'll let you get back todoing what you're doing.
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