Episode 11: Speak your mind-TODAY
In this episode I share:
- Why being sure of what you want, need, and desire is vital for you to be fulfilled.
- Why speaking up for yourselves isn't selfish.
- Some reasons why people can't "hear" you.
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Episode Transcript
Thank you for tapping in once again, to listening ears
podcast with me, your hostVernae Bezear I've been talking
a lot about the relationshipthat one has with themselves.
(00:21):
I've mentioned in past podcastsabout finding joy and how to
show up for yourself and how tobe happy.
But today I want to talk aboutrelationships you have with
(00:44):
others.
I believe that the mostimportant part of any
relationship is being able toexpress your, your wants, your
needs and your desires as womenstrictly as women.
(01:09):
I would say that at times weassume that because we are
passive aggressive, you know,slamming the dishwasher or pots
and pans, or struggling to get,a bag of garbage out of the
trash.
(01:29):
Can we, you know, we assume thatbecause we're doing all of that
and that, um, somebodyunderstands what, what we're
trying to say without saying it,you know, I thought about how
(01:53):
sometimes, you know, you watchthose shows and you see the one
person goes, oh, I'll pick upthe bill for dinner again.
And the other friend's like, allright, cool.
You know, great, thanks.
Thanks for being such a greatfriend.
(02:12):
So I think about how, you know, we, as women, we do these
things and we, feel that becausewe make a face or a comment or
say something sly, that thatmeans whatever it means.
(02:37):
It's really important just tosay what it is that you want,
say what it is that you want,what you need, what you desire
from people.
In my experience, I believe or Iknow that sometimes people just
(03:01):
don't hear you.
Sometimes people don't want tohear you.
And sometimes people thinkyou're referring to someone else
other than them.
(03:22):
And then other times it's justmaybe not the right time.
But I believe wholeheartedlythat if you don't actually say
what it is that you want, orthat's bothering you, Then what?
(03:50):
So I can hear some people rightnow saying something like, um,
so I'm just supposed to tellpeople what I expect of them and
how I want to be treated.
And I'm going to say, yes,absolutely.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
And what's wrong with that inorder for you anybody to be
(04:18):
fulfilled, that's what it is.
And that's what has to happen.
It's really important to letothers know what you expect or
what it is that you want in myexperience.
(04:42):
I think it wastes a lot ofunnecessary arguments and
feelings of resentment or fear,anger, or misplaced emotions.
Vernae (04:58):
What's wrong with being upfront?
What's wrong with if somethingis bothering us or if, if
something's going great and wewant it to continue, what's,
what's wrong with being able tosay something to somebody, if
(05:22):
something is feeling off ordoesn't sit right with your
soul, why wouldn't you want tosay something sometimes a quick
chat, like a, Hey, could I talkto you about something I've been
thinking of?
(05:43):
Or can I run something past youor just simply asking them, Hey,
are we good because ofwhatever...
Don't get me wrong.
This, this may not work forevery situation, but in my
(06:07):
experience, it's, it's beenworking by just being honest and
upfront.
(06:22):
I went back and forth thinking about this.
And I said to myself, Vernae,now, you know, you have such a
hard time being able to, well, Iused to have a hard time being
able to say how I was feelingabout something, but an option
(06:45):
for people who felt kind of theway I was feeling could be to
send a text.
I mean, real life face to facein person conversations, or
maybe even a FaceTime, a realvoice, no interruptions that
(07:06):
could go a long way.
But the first step is being ableto identify whatever it is that
makes you fulfilled, whatever itis that you want, you deserve
your reasons for it, yournon-reasonsfor it, the bold
(07:29):
request, whatever it is.
You may be surprised with whatthe response may be.
If you are not beingself-assured and being able to
tell somebody, Hey, this is whatI want.
(07:51):
And this is what I want.
This is what I need.
This is what I desire.
This is what brings me joy.
This is how I want to be treatedin this life.
Vernae (08:11):
If you don't ever say that or say something, the other
person will never know.
And because they will neverknow, they can then not be
resented or you, you can'tnecessarily be angry with them
(08:33):
or have misplaced emotions.
If you never said what it wasthat you needed, wanted desired.
Someone told me once, and I'dnever heard this saying, um,
(08:56):
until that time a closed mouthdoesn't get fed.
And I forget that sometimes, butas of late, it it's in my head
and it's absolutely absolutely athousand percent true.
(09:23):
And what's the worst somebodycan say it could be no, but the
best could be whatever it is,your heart's desire.
If anything that I've said ontoday's podcast resonated with
you, you can send me a messageon all social media platforms.
(09:45):
I'm there.
You can also send me an email.
Let's continue to spread thisjoy.
Spread this love, spread thispositive attitudes and show your
girl some support.
All right.
Signing off episode 11.
(10:06):
Bye.
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