May 11, 2025 • 15 mins
Emilia shares her deeply personal journey following her mother's unexpected cancer diagnosis and how this life-altering event has shifted her perspective on motherhood, entrepreneurship, and what truly matters.
You'll hear:
- How the science of motherhood legacies reveals that responsive parenting is passed through generations
- Why entrepreneurship can offer the time freedom to navigate family crises without financial disruption or asking for permission
- How our cultural assumption of guaranteed longevity often delays the experiences that matter most
- The importance of creating meaningful moments now—through rituals, scheduled time, and capturing everyday memories
- How faith provided her with grounding and peace during an uncertain and painful season
- Ways to structure a business that prioritizes family and sustains income, even in times of personal upheaval
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.
For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Little Hands Big Plans the podcast for
moms who want to reimagine workafter kids and build a life
where family comes first,without giving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
(00:23):
invitation?
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
(00:48):
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
Welcome to today's episode.
I am doing things a little bitdifferent.
Today, I'm going to be sharinga little bit more about my
personal journey, and this isnot something that I was
(01:12):
expecting to share about, butit's something that has had a
profound implication in my lifeand it's also forced me to think
about work, motherhood, life'spriorities.
In today's episode, I'll besharing a personal family
diagnosis and how it shifted myperspective.
(01:32):
I'm going to share about alittle bit of science behind
motherhood legacies andresponsive parenting.
I'm going to share about whyentrepreneurship provides
critical time freedom duringfamily crises, practical ways to
be intentional with our time,starting today and finding
strength through faith whenfacing life's challenges.
(01:54):
Today's episode is deeplypersonal, but I feel called to
share because what's happeningin my life has forced me to
reflect so much on my work andlife in general that it feels
important for others to hearabout it and to just walk
alongside this journey with us,if you feel called to.
(02:16):
Not long ago, my family receivedheartbreaking news and my mom
has been diagnosed with plasmacell cancer, which is a type of
blood cancer, and it's notsomething that we were expecting
.
If you know my mom, you knowshe is vibrant, she is healthy,
(02:36):
she's active.
It's just come as a completeshock to my family and has made
us just realize what trulymatters in life, and it has also
made me reflect on myrelationship with my mother, her
legacy as a mother, and on thegift of time freedom, because
(03:01):
this has all come at such anunexpected time.
My mom is young, she's in her60s, and so when I think about
how she mothered me.
I think about that as a bigpart of her legacy.
And when people give mecompliments about what kind of
mother I am, about how my kidsare so attached to me, I always
(03:25):
think about my mom, because Ididn't figure out how to mother
on my own and I mother the way Ido because I was mothered that
way.
My mom was the most responsive,attentive, self-sacrificing
woman that I've known,self-sacrificing woman that I've
(03:47):
known.
She would often go againstcultural norms and follow her
motherhood instincts, which hastaught me a lot.
She was an entrepreneur herself, but even while she was running
her own business, she alwaysmade sure that we felt that
family came first.
That didn't stop during mychildhood when I became a mother
and I started my own business.
Anytime I've had to travel forwork, I've been able to do it
(04:10):
because of her.
She comes with me.
She brings her laptop, her work, her presents, so that I don't
have to leave my babies behind.
We get to do life together andbuild all these memories, in
part because of her work andbecause of that flexibility that
she has.
So I've looked into a littlebit of the science behind that,
(04:31):
because it's very fascinating tome, and it is backed by science
.
So research from the HarvardCenter on the Developing Child
shows that responsive caregivingthings like eye contact,
physical closeness, gentle voiceand availability is one of the
most critical factors in achild's brain development and
emotional security.
(04:51):
In a fascinating study,researchers found that mother
rats, who frequently groomedtheir babies, raised daughters
who did the same when theybecame mothers.
This pattern held true evenwith foster mothers, showing
that nurturing behaviors arelearned and modeled, not just
inherited.
Similar patterns also appear inprimates, where affection and
(05:12):
responsiveness create morenurturing mothers in the next
generation.
So how we were mothered deeplyshapes how we mother, and the
thought of that has just made merealize how impactful this role
is, because it connectsgenerations upon generations of
mothers, and I feel deeplygrateful to my mom for teaching
(05:37):
me how to be a mother after twokids of my own.
So, even as an adult, I stillfeel that I'm constantly
learning from her.
I need her now more than everas I navigate motherhood.
She's the first person I callwhen I'm experiencing challenges
, and this diagnosis having toconfront her mortality has been
(06:01):
really impactful because of thatand has forced me to evaluate
my life even more than Itypically do, because if you
know me, you know I'm prettyintrospective.
I like to think about things alot, but this has been a huge
shift.
This season has made me deeplygrateful for time freedom that
I've been able to create throughentrepreneurship.
(06:22):
When I look at how I structuremy work and life, I see, now
more than ever, how valuablethis flexibility truly is.
It's everything.
It's because of thisflexibility.
When my mom had to get a secondopinion, I didn't have to ask
for permission to take time off.
(06:43):
I didn't have to worry aboutlosing income because I was
going to be away for some time.
I just packed my laptop, bookeda last minute flight and we
went.
And this is going to continueright.
Cancer is not typically a shortjourney and as we evaluate
treatment options, I feelprofoundly grateful that I can
(07:06):
continue working and supportingher through the journey.
I think everyone wants thattype of freedom, because you
don't know the timing.
I would have never guessed I'vestructured my life in this way
more because of my kids and howmuch they need me right now, not
(07:26):
thinking that perhaps myparents, who are not that old,
will potentially also need me,and I just feel really grateful
to be able to have that.
So this experience reallyreinforces why I believe
business is a important tool formothers to have.
It allows you to protect yourpresence.
(07:46):
Mothers are often, more oftenthan not, the caregivers in the
family for children and, at somepoint, for parents as well, and
when hard things happened andthey will what you need most is
the time freedom to be there,and also finances, because a lot
of times I know when I speakwith moms that want to create,
(08:09):
that finances can often be abarrier and a diagnosis like
this also comes with financialimplications.
In the US, where healthcare isoften tied to employment, it's a
big fear that can come fromthat, and in Canada, where the
(08:36):
traditional healthcare iscovered, there's still a
financial impact because a lotof the alternative treatments
that have a lot of researchbehind them are not covered, and
so if you want to get the bestcare, it still comes at a
financial cost.
Care it still comes at afinancial cost.
So I want to also share somepractical steps to create a
little more time freedom if youare going through something
similar or you want to spendmore time with your kids.
So if you're currently in anemployed position, you can start
(09:01):
to build a business on the sidethat could eventually provide
time and location independence.
You can also negotiate remotework options with your current
employer.
Since COVID, there's a lot moreacceptance of remote work.
You can also create incomestreams that will help you
(09:23):
maintain cash flows duringpersonal emergencies.
If you start a business, youcan start to build a network of
support with other entrepreneurswho understand the flexibility
and there can be some coveragedepending on what industry
you're in.
And another reflection that I'vehad and this has been weighing
heavily on my heart, and it'sour assumptions about time.
(09:45):
We live in a world that assumesthat we're all going to have a
long life.
We'll work hard now.
Delay gratification is oftenpraised.
You finally get to live fullyin retirement, but the truth is
that we're not guaranteedlongevity.
My mom is in her early 60s.
She's pre-retirement and she'sfacing this diagnosis, and
(10:06):
statistics actually show thatmany people only live a few
short years after retiring.
We plan and save and just work,work, work, assuming that we'll
get there, but none of us knowthe number of our days.
When you think about your lifefrom that perspective, what
(10:28):
would you change if you were notguaranteed a long life, if you
knew that you were going to dieyoung, would you live your life
in the same way or would you bedoing something vastly different
?
Psalm 90, 12 says teach us tonumber our days that we may gain
a heart of wisdom.
(10:48):
So a few practical ways that youcould be intentional now is to
make sure that your family timeis scheduled like any other
non-negotiable meeting and thatit is in your calendar.
First, create small dailytraditions that don't require
some day thinking whattraditions are special for your
family.
Document and celebrate everydaymoments through journaling or
(11:12):
photos.
I have been looking at so manypictures of us together and wish
we had more.
I wish I wasn't always waitingfor the time where I think I
look good to take pictures,because it doesn't matter.
It's just about rememberingthose times.
Journal about how your workarrangements support your core
(11:32):
values.
Are you living in a way thatreflects those?
And make memories with thepeople you love?
Because if we don't get a longlife, we want to make sure we're
spending our time well.
We need to be intentional evenin busy seasons, even while
earning income to support ourfamilies, earning a livelihood
(11:54):
should not require us tosacrifice the very, very
precious time that we get withour family and motherhood is
precious.
Childhood is fleeting and timeis fleeting.
And then I want to close with.
If you're close to me, you'vebeen asking how I'm doing, what
(12:15):
is helping me cope, and so Iwanted to share a little bit
more about my faith journey andhow that is getting us through
this season.
So, as a family, we're Christian.
It's at the core of our family,and I don't believe that God is
the one that causes suffering.
I believe he meets us in it.
(12:36):
I believe that he has the powerto heal.
I believe, believe that he issovereign.
So just because he can healdoesn't mean he always answers
prayers to heal, although wewill be praying that he does.
But having that hope, we knowthat we are on earth for a
(12:57):
temporary time and that this isnot our forever home.
And because of that faith, ashard as it has been and it has
been very, very hard I can stillhold on to hope for healing,
for wisdom, for strength, forpeace that surpasses all
understanding.
And something that we've beendoing is, aside from our
(13:20):
individual prayer, we also havea weekly prayer that a dear
friend has been organizing topray for my mom, and I've been
practicing breath prayers.
There's a book on this and so,essentially, you hold on to
God's promises and you docalming breaths at that time,
(13:43):
and usually I've been doing onedaily so that it helps me calm
myself when I'm feeling reallyanxious about the future, and so
that's the main thing that hasbeen getting us through just
spending a lot of time together,being hopeful, being positive
that this is going to be astruggle but a journey that can
(14:05):
be overcome.
And so that's it for today'sepisode.
It's really different than whatyou'll normally hear on the
podcast, but I will probablycontinue to share a little bit
about my family's journey and,more practically speaking, how
this impacts my business,different lessons in faith and
(14:27):
hope that we have.
I want to encourage you, ifyou're currently facing
something hard, to embrace yourfaith.
Embrace the support of thosewho you have around.
Remember that business can beused to serve the family's
priorities.
If you're still listening,thank you.
I will be back soon with morespecific business strategies,
(14:50):
but until then, keep holdingyour loved ones close.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis, and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
(15:12):
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
dreams, it's just the beginning.
Welcome to Little Hands Big Plans the podcast for
moms who want to reimagine workafter kids and build a life
where family comes first,without giving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
(00:23):
invitation?
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
(00:48):
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
Welcome to today's episode.
I am doing things a little bitdifferent.
Today, I'm going to be sharinga little bit more about my
personal journey, and this isnot something that I was
(01:12):
expecting to share about, butit's something that has had a
profound implication in my lifeand it's also forced me to think
about work, motherhood, life'spriorities.
In today's episode, I'll besharing a personal family
diagnosis and how it shifted myperspective.
(01:32):
I'm going to share about alittle bit of science behind
motherhood legacies andresponsive parenting.
I'm going to share about whyentrepreneurship provides
critical time freedom duringfamily crises, practical ways to
be intentional with our time,starting today and finding
strength through faith whenfacing life's challenges.
(01:54):
Today's episode is deeplypersonal, but I feel called to
share because what's happeningin my life has forced me to
reflect so much on my work andlife in general that it feels
important for others to hearabout it and to just walk
alongside this journey with us,if you feel called to.
(02:16):
Not long ago, my family receivedheartbreaking news and my mom
has been diagnosed with plasmacell cancer, which is a type of
blood cancer, and it's notsomething that we were expecting
.
If you know my mom, you knowshe is vibrant, she is healthy,
(02:36):
she's active.
It's just come as a completeshock to my family and has made
us just realize what trulymatters in life, and it has also
made me reflect on myrelationship with my mother, her
legacy as a mother, and on thegift of time freedom, because
(03:01):
this has all come at such anunexpected time.
My mom is young, she's in her60s, and so when I think about
how she mothered me.
I think about that as a bigpart of her legacy.
And when people give mecompliments about what kind of
mother I am, about how my kidsare so attached to me, I always
(03:25):
think about my mom, because Ididn't figure out how to mother
on my own and I mother the way Ido because I was mothered that
way.
My mom was the most responsive,attentive, self-sacrificing
woman that I've known,self-sacrificing woman that I've
(03:47):
known.
She would often go againstcultural norms and follow her
motherhood instincts, which hastaught me a lot.
She was an entrepreneur herself, but even while she was running
her own business, she alwaysmade sure that we felt that
family came first.
That didn't stop during mychildhood when I became a mother
and I started my own business.
Anytime I've had to travel forwork, I've been able to do it
(04:10):
because of her.
She comes with me.
She brings her laptop, her work, her presents, so that I don't
have to leave my babies behind.
We get to do life together andbuild all these memories, in
part because of her work andbecause of that flexibility that
she has.
So I've looked into a littlebit of the science behind that,
(04:31):
because it's very fascinating tome, and it is backed by science
.
So research from the HarvardCenter on the Developing Child
shows that responsive caregivingthings like eye contact,
physical closeness, gentle voiceand availability is one of the
most critical factors in achild's brain development and
emotional security.
(04:51):
In a fascinating study,researchers found that mother
rats, who frequently groomedtheir babies, raised daughters
who did the same when theybecame mothers.
This pattern held true evenwith foster mothers, showing
that nurturing behaviors arelearned and modeled, not just
inherited.
Similar patterns also appear inprimates, where affection and
(05:12):
responsiveness create morenurturing mothers in the next
generation.
So how we were mothered deeplyshapes how we mother, and the
thought of that has just made merealize how impactful this role
is, because it connectsgenerations upon generations of
mothers, and I feel deeplygrateful to my mom for teaching
(05:37):
me how to be a mother after twokids of my own.
So, even as an adult, I stillfeel that I'm constantly
learning from her.
I need her now more than everas I navigate motherhood.
She's the first person I callwhen I'm experiencing challenges
, and this diagnosis having toconfront her mortality has been
(06:01):
really impactful because of thatand has forced me to evaluate
my life even more than Itypically do, because if you
know me, you know I'm prettyintrospective.
I like to think about things alot, but this has been a huge
shift.
This season has made me deeplygrateful for time freedom that
I've been able to create throughentrepreneurship.
(06:22):
When I look at how I structuremy work and life, I see, now
more than ever, how valuablethis flexibility truly is.
It's everything.
It's because of thisflexibility.
When my mom had to get a secondopinion, I didn't have to ask
for permission to take time off.
(06:43):
I didn't have to worry aboutlosing income because I was
going to be away for some time.
I just packed my laptop, bookeda last minute flight and we
went.
And this is going to continueright.
Cancer is not typically a shortjourney and as we evaluate
treatment options, I feelprofoundly grateful that I can
(07:06):
continue working and supportingher through the journey.
I think everyone wants thattype of freedom, because you
don't know the timing.
I would have never guessed I'vestructured my life in this way
more because of my kids and howmuch they need me right now, not
(07:26):
thinking that perhaps myparents, who are not that old,
will potentially also need me,and I just feel really grateful
to be able to have that.
So this experience reallyreinforces why I believe
business is a important tool formothers to have.
It allows you to protect yourpresence.
(07:46):
Mothers are often, more oftenthan not, the caregivers in the
family for children and, at somepoint, for parents as well, and
when hard things happened andthey will what you need most is
the time freedom to be there,and also finances, because a lot
of times I know when I speakwith moms that want to create,
(08:09):
that finances can often be abarrier and a diagnosis like
this also comes with financialimplications.
In the US, where healthcare isoften tied to employment, it's a
big fear that can come fromthat, and in Canada, where the
(08:36):
traditional healthcare iscovered, there's still a
financial impact because a lotof the alternative treatments
that have a lot of researchbehind them are not covered, and
so if you want to get the bestcare, it still comes at a
financial cost.
Care it still comes at afinancial cost.
So I want to also share somepractical steps to create a
little more time freedom if youare going through something
similar or you want to spendmore time with your kids.
So if you're currently in anemployed position, you can start
(09:01):
to build a business on the sidethat could eventually provide
time and location independence.
You can also negotiate remotework options with your current
employer.
Since COVID, there's a lot moreacceptance of remote work.
You can also create incomestreams that will help you
(09:23):
maintain cash flows duringpersonal emergencies.
If you start a business, youcan start to build a network of
support with other entrepreneurswho understand the flexibility
and there can be some coveragedepending on what industry
you're in.
And another reflection that I'vehad and this has been weighing
heavily on my heart, and it'sour assumptions about time.
(09:45):
We live in a world that assumesthat we're all going to have a
long life.
We'll work hard now.
Delay gratification is oftenpraised.
You finally get to live fullyin retirement, but the truth is
that we're not guaranteedlongevity.
My mom is in her early 60s.
She's pre-retirement and she'sfacing this diagnosis, and
(10:06):
statistics actually show thatmany people only live a few
short years after retiring.
We plan and save and just work,work, work, assuming that we'll
get there, but none of us knowthe number of our days.
When you think about your lifefrom that perspective, what
(10:28):
would you change if you were notguaranteed a long life, if you
knew that you were going to dieyoung, would you live your life
in the same way or would you bedoing something vastly different
?
Psalm 90, 12 says teach us tonumber our days that we may gain
a heart of wisdom.
(10:48):
So a few practical ways that youcould be intentional now is to
make sure that your family timeis scheduled like any other
non-negotiable meeting and thatit is in your calendar.
First, create small dailytraditions that don't require
some day thinking whattraditions are special for your
family.
Document and celebrate everydaymoments through journaling or
(11:12):
photos.
I have been looking at so manypictures of us together and wish
we had more.
I wish I wasn't always waitingfor the time where I think I
look good to take pictures,because it doesn't matter.
It's just about rememberingthose times.
Journal about how your workarrangements support your core
(11:32):
values.
Are you living in a way thatreflects those?
And make memories with thepeople you love?
Because if we don't get a longlife, we want to make sure we're
spending our time well.
We need to be intentional evenin busy seasons, even while
earning income to support ourfamilies, earning a livelihood
(11:54):
should not require us tosacrifice the very, very
precious time that we get withour family and motherhood is
precious.
Childhood is fleeting and timeis fleeting.
And then I want to close with.
If you're close to me, you'vebeen asking how I'm doing, what
(12:15):
is helping me cope, and so Iwanted to share a little bit
more about my faith journey andhow that is getting us through
this season.
So, as a family, we're Christian.
It's at the core of our family,and I don't believe that God is
the one that causes suffering.
I believe he meets us in it.
(12:36):
I believe that he has the powerto heal.
I believe, believe that he issovereign.
So just because he can healdoesn't mean he always answers
prayers to heal, although wewill be praying that he does.
But having that hope, we knowthat we are on earth for a
(12:57):
temporary time and that this isnot our forever home.
And because of that faith, ashard as it has been and it has
been very, very hard I can stillhold on to hope for healing,
for wisdom, for strength, forpeace that surpasses all
understanding.
And something that we've beendoing is, aside from our
(13:20):
individual prayer, we also havea weekly prayer that a dear
friend has been organizing topray for my mom, and I've been
practicing breath prayers.
There's a book on this and so,essentially, you hold on to
God's promises and you docalming breaths at that time,
(13:43):
and usually I've been doing onedaily so that it helps me calm
myself when I'm feeling reallyanxious about the future, and so
that's the main thing that hasbeen getting us through just
spending a lot of time together,being hopeful, being positive
that this is going to be astruggle but a journey that can
(14:05):
be overcome.
And so that's it for today'sepisode.
It's really different than whatyou'll normally hear on the
podcast, but I will probablycontinue to share a little bit
about my family's journey and,more practically speaking, how
this impacts my business,different lessons in faith and
(14:27):
hope that we have.
I want to encourage you, ifyou're currently facing
something hard, to embrace yourfaith.
Embrace the support of thosewho you have around.
Remember that business can beused to serve the family's
priorities.
If you're still listening,thank you.
I will be back soon with morespecific business strategies,
(14:50):
but until then, keep holdingyour loved ones close.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis, and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
(15:12):
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
dreams, it's just the beginning.
Popular Podcasts
Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2
Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.