August 22, 2025 • 44 mins
Lauren Washington, a former pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse, shares her courageous journey of leaving healthcare after COVID to be more present with her children and pursue a life aligned with her values. She discusses the identity crisis that came with stepping away from her career, finding peace in a slower pace, and how transitioning from clinical nursing to becoming a doula allowed her to use her skills in a new way.
• Working in pediatric emergency and intensive care before having children
• The identity crisis and guilt that came with leaving a prestigious nursing career
• Creating a slower pace of life with morning cuddles and homeschooling
• Moving from suburbs to country to provide more space and opportunities for the family
• Becoming a doula after experiencing both traumatic and empowering births
• Navigating multiple passions and interests while prioritizing motherhood
• Using homeschooling to teach life skills beyond traditional academics
• Balancing holistic health values with traditional medical approaches
• Finding identity and purpose in faith rather than career achievements
• Simplifying and taking small steps toward personal goals during the little years
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For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
In this episode, I'm joined by Lauren Washington, a
former pediatric intensive careunit nurse who had the courage
to leave a steady, well-payingcareer after COVID to be more
present with her children andpursue a life that aligns with
her values.
Now Lauren is a certified doula, a homeschooling mom and a
(00:22):
creative with many passions.
Lauren's story reminds us thatwe don't need a perfectly
polished business plan or a bigtitle to walk in purpose.
Today, we'll talk about what ittakes to leave the safe path,
the beauty of trying multiplethings and how motherhood can be
the catalyst that gives uspermission to reimagine
everything.
This conversation is for themom who's wondering if it's okay
(00:45):
to start over or startsomething totally new.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans, the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
(01:08):
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
(01:30):
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
(01:54):
So, lauren, you spent many yearsworking in the hospital system.
I know you worked in pediatrics, er and also intensive care
unit.
I'm wondering what drew you tonursing originally?
I think most nurses and medicalpeople in general get started
because they want to help peoplein general, and that's a really
vague kind of answer and a lotof the time they don't know what
that means in real life, butthey think that helping people's
physical body is what's goingto be of best help to them
(02:17):
overall.
For me, I had wantedspecifically to do medical
missions.
I'd wanted to kind of get sometraining here in the States,
figure out what I was doing, andthen go work somewhere abroad
and I had started working onsome Spanish and stuff, and so I
thought maybe God would lead mein that direction and I was
able to take several medicalmission trips and things to
(02:39):
different countries, which was alife-changing experience.
It was amazing, but obviously,obviously God led me in a
different path.
So I mean, that's kind of whatgot me started, and then it just
goes from there.
Really, what is it like to workin emergency situations with
children?
Most people, when they wouldhear that I work in PEDS, they
(03:00):
always say oh, how do you dothat?
How do you work with kids?
That must be so heartbreakingand, honestly, when I started I
was of the mindset because I hadworked first with adults and it
was a cancer floor.
There was so much death, therewas so much disability.
These people's pride andeverything that they had been as
a person, their whole life, wassuddenly gone and it was a
(03:21):
really depressing, gross,honestly, field to work in.
And so I always knew I wantedto work with kids, but I
couldn't get in right out ofnursing school because it's a
specialized field.
I got in with a pediatric ERright before I got married.
I moved to Georgia and started anew hospital and first I worked
on the floor inpatient, so Igot some of that view with
(03:42):
surgery and trauma patients, andthen I worked in the ER for
several more years after thatand at the time I didn't have
kids.
So at the time it was very notpersonal, it was just a job.
It's just a thing that you doand yeah, it's sad.
Sometimes People would alwayssay, how do you give these kids
IVs, how do you make them dothese hard things?
And in my mind it was what theyneeded.
(04:03):
Of course they're not going tolike it.
You do things for your kids allthe time that they don't like
and that's what's best.
And so it wasn't hard for me.
And I will say I did have aftermy son was born and actually I
wasn't working after my daughterwas born, but after my son was
born it was a differentsituation, especially working in
the ER.
I did a few traumas.
(04:23):
I was certified in trauma.
There was this one case inparticular.
He was pretty close to my son'sage and he passed away due to
abuse and that one kind of hithome thinking how someone can do
that to a child.
But in general most of what yousee in the ER is re-noses and
fevers and rashes and, you know,a broken arm occasionally,
(04:45):
things like that.
But most of it is not theheart-wrecking situations, but
obviously they do happen.
Yeah, it's hard.
I can only imagine how you cango from that and then go home
and then you have your own childand but I also think it's
important to have people thatare compassionate and that will
(05:08):
genuinely care for their patient.
Did you find that you had to doa lot of management of the
parents as opposed to the child,or was it when someone is in an
ER or intensive care unitsituation you felt that you
didn't have to manage?
The parents were the worst.
They were the worst part of thewhole thing.
(05:30):
Honestly, the kids were a blastfor the most part.
Now, as a parent, I understandand I did find that after my son
had gotten, you know, croup oreven just minor sicknesses, a
few times I had to contemplategoing in the hospital or what I
was going to do.
That changed my perspective asa nurse and it made me a lot
more compassionate towards theparents coming in who are
(05:51):
freaking out.
Maybe they have good reason,maybe they don't, but like this
is a completely new world forthem.
So, yeah, they were toughsometimes, but also they knew
their kid the best and it wasvery easy to have the mindset
Most of the doctors and nurseswould get so jaded after seeing
(06:12):
what they saw they just say, oh,that parent's crazy, or they
don't really know what.
I know because I'm a nurse orwhatever, and no, nine times out
of 10, the parent was rightabout things.
They know when their kid's off.
They know when something's moreserious.
Maybe to us, clinically itwould be insignificant, but for
them it's way off for their kid.
And it's hard when you haveother staff who are downplaying
(06:35):
that.
Because now, as a mom comingaway, I know the talk that
happens behind closed doors at ahospital and that's always
going to be in the back of mymind.
There's just that crazy momwho's over-concerned.
And now you have left thetraditional healthcare path.
I'm wondering what was thehardest part about leaving that
chapter behind?
(06:56):
It was a big identity crisisfor me.
A little bit.
I didn't enjoy this last jobthat I was at when we moved up
here to Michigan.
Right before my daughter wasborn, I started a new hospital,
so I did work a little bit inthe PICU Most of it was on the
pediatric floor as a float nurse.
But I did not really integrateinto the social hierarchy of the
(07:21):
nurses there very well becauseI didn't work very often.
Most of them were new grads.
Hierarchy of the nurses there.
Very well, because they didn'twork very often, most of them
were new grads and the whole wayof the hospital, how it runs
was different, the dynamics andeverything.
I didn't enjoy going to work.
It wasn't like you had to tearme away from my job in that
sense, but it was like I workedso hard to get where I am today.
My certifications I had atrauma certification, a
(07:42):
pediatric certification that Iworked hard for and if they go
away I knew I would probablynever get it again.
That was probably the hardestthing for me.
Obviously there was a financialaspect where I was making the
most money I had ever madeprobably before, at least hourly
and we came to the conclusionthat it was not worth the stress
(08:03):
of working so infrequently thatI kind of forget how things
work or forget the protocols orforget passwords, even you know,
and then have to worry aboutthat when I get home and the
next time before I go into work.
It wasn't worth the money thatI was making, and so the
financial aspect was evenprobably backseat to the whole
identity thing.
It's like if I don't have mycareer I'm just a mom, and now I
(08:29):
know that's a lie from Satan.
That isn't true, but I thinkmost women, especially in
today's age where you're told ifyou don't work you're either
lazy or worthless, that you'renot doing anything important
with your life, and I just.
It's so easy to lose youridentity and motherhood, and so
(08:49):
that was probably the biggeststruggle for me is, if not this,
then what I feel wasted alittle bit, like all this
distance that I've come all tosit at home with my two-year-old
and play cars.
Was it a I've had enoughsituation or did it take a
number of years?
How did you come to theconclusion that you needed to
(09:12):
leave that path for a moreuntraditional path?
Yeah it, so I had started I'msure we'll talk about this later
.
I had started my holisticjourney before COVID started,
but it was kind of solidifiedduring COVID at least the
direction that I was going withmy life, and I saw a lot of the
misinformation that washappening.
(09:33):
That just wasn't real life,like what people were told on TV
was not what was happening inmy hospital.
I'm sure there were some placeswhere it was really bad.
They were laying people off,they were forcing people to get
the COVID vaccine or you wouldlose your job A lot of places.
I know that was the case andthankfully I was pregnant with
(09:55):
my daughter at the time and sothey let me have an exemption
for that.
And then, just after she wasborn, I dreaded going back and
my husband actually was veryencouraging.
He's like don't go back, likeyou're more needed here.
It's so stressful for you.
Just stay home and be whereyou're needed.
So that was kind of whatinitiated.
Did you experience any guilt oroutside pressure from either
(10:19):
friends the other friends thatwere nurses or other family
members you mentioned yourhusband was very supportive, but
anyone kind of feeding into thehow can you throw away your
career or let this dream go?
Yeah, honestly, I had a reallysupportive team my family, my
parents, everybody.
(10:39):
Not that it was really anybodyelse's decision to make but me
and my husband's, but I thinkhad I talked maybe more about it
at the work setting, I wouldhave got more of that, but
thankfully most of the pressurewas internal.
That's so often the case.
What has being more presentwith your kids looked like since
(11:00):
leaving health care I had thebaby and I didn't come back.
For some people I'm sure theywould go crazy in the way that
we kind of run our day.
We are very loose with ourschedule, with our planning.
So my son is in kindergartenthis year and we've done
homeschool and it's been a verykind of a carefree year for us
(11:22):
to kind of get into homeschool.
We've done he's learning somereading and he's, you know,
doing some hands-on math andlearning cooking and planting a
garden and things like that.
But most of it has been reallylike I kind of let him sleep in.
I do I let him sleep in until,you know, their bodies are ready
(11:43):
to wake up and we have aspecial morning time together,
which kind of goes.
And I think that the nextquestion is what maybe wouldn't
have fit in my old life.
That brings me peace now, andthat's my favorite time of the
day is first thing in themorning when the kids wake up.
They come in bed and we justkind of cuddle and talk about
(12:03):
our day and about how they sleptand their dreams and you know,
just all that sweet little stuffthat really only comes with the
little years and that wouldn'thave, that wouldn't work, if I
had to get up and go to workthat morning or, you know, had
we had a tight schedule to keep.
So that's been really enjoyablefor us to be able to just kind
of do our thing.
We have a play date, whateverwe want.
(12:25):
We go to the zoo whenever wewant, but we're constantly
learning.
It's not like we're never doinganything.
The kids are learning tocontribute in the household and
they're learning honestly.
Their imaginations grow everyday and I think that's a big
part of childhood that ismissing the sleeping in part.
I'm so looking forward toletting my kids because I have
so many memories as a child.
(12:45):
Our school was so early, yeah,and my parents, we would
literally be chasing the bus.
I remember so many times Withmy car and honking at the bus
and seeing a bit of the stuffPoor memories, yeah, one that
I'm hoping to not pass on.
You also made a big change inmoving from city to country
(13:08):
setting.
Can you tell me more about whatprompted that and how that sort
of plays into your new visionof what you hope your life is
like?
So before this, we lived in asuburb with an itty bitty, teeny
tiny yard and the kids loved tobe outside.
They would just dig in a pileof dirt for hours.
(13:30):
I think there were severalthings that kind of prompted it.
We had always talked aboutgetting more land One day, one
day, one day, and it was kind ofone of those things that I
never really expected to happenin real life.
We would turn 60 and be like,yeah, that's one of those things
we never actually followedthrough with.
But my son, his dream was to bea farmer and he just would say,
(13:50):
mom, one day, when we have afarm, I want to plant this and
this and this.
And so it was.
Honestly, it sounds silly, butit was kind of our catalyst to
take this seriously.
They were outgrowing our littleitty bitty yard and my daughter
I was standing out there one dayacross the street talking to
the neighbor which is like superclose and I was watching her.
(14:10):
She was crossing the street andthis car came speeding down
like 50 miles an hour.
He saw her and he kept goingand she was on a scooter, she
was having a hard time crossingand he almost hit her that day.
I was like we got to go, we gotto get out of here.
Honestly, the other neighborbehind us too was smoking weed
(14:31):
all day, every day, morning tonight, and I didn't even feel
like my kids could be right onthe other side of the fence,
like there's no getting awayfrom that.
That's not fair to them, thatthey can't breathe clean air.
If you want to do your ownthing at your own time, fine,
but it was affecting my family.
So we just decided we wanted adifferent pace of life.
We wanted to be a little bitmore self-sufficient in our food
(14:52):
.
We wanted to know what wasgoing on in our food and just be
able to do more with our space,to host more.
Our house was so tiny wecouldn't really have anybody
over, and so I think this waskind of just the beginning step
for us to grow as a family andtake on a new adventure.
I really liked how your sonprompted that and encouraged you
(15:17):
even more with that.
And now you became a doula andhelp moms that want support,
extra support during birth.
How did you side on that andwhat do you love about it?
That's different from thehospital.
So I guess, to make sure thateverybody understands what a
(15:39):
doula is, it's a relatively newterm or a new career, and a
doula basically is anon-clinical helper for the mom.
Birth coach is another kind ofword for it Helping physically,
emotionally, educationally,helping the mom make sure that
she is fully informed.
(15:59):
A lot of people say doulasempower the moms.
I like to say doulas help themoms empower themselves, making
sure that they understand andthey have the time and space to
make the decisions that theyneed Also involves the birth
partner.
So usually the dad or, if themom's in the room, the grandma's
in the room, even in home birthsituations, helping with the
(16:20):
kids, helping make sure youexplain things to the kids in a
way that's not scary to them.
All of those things kind ofencompass what a doula is.
I had a traumatic first birthwith my son.
He was born at 33 weeks.
I felt like nobody listened tome.
My husband was working nightshift, my water had broken and I
knew we were going to be in theNICU.
(16:40):
So I told him go home, sleep,because we're going to be here a
while.
So he did and I knew thingswere picking up.
Things were starting,contractions were starting and
nurse after nurse came in and oh, you could be like this for
weeks.
This is not a big deal, not abig deal, not a big deal.
And to the point of I'm in thedelivery room telling my mom,
(17:01):
who happened to be there with meat the time call my husband,
have him come.
And the nurse was like no, it'sfine, you've got time.
And I felt so stupid because ofthat one nurse.
So I was like, ok, well, Iguess, give him a little bit
more time to sleep, and 15minutes later my son was born.
My husband didn't make itbecause of that one nurse, and
(17:24):
the whole situation surroundingpremature birth is pretty
traumatizing.
I thankfully had the medicalbackground and so I knew more.
So what was going on?
I honestly wasn't maybe asscared as I should have been.
I know my husband was terrifiedseeing all of the wires and the
beeps and the cords and the IVsand everything, and I feel like
(17:45):
if we would have had somebodythere with us advocating for me
or helping me advocate formyself, that whole situation
would have gone differently.
And so with my second I, Idecided I wanted to hire a doula
.
I had done a lot of my owneducation as well, which helps
tremendously, but I had anexcellent, amazing natural birth
(18:07):
with her and after myexperience with my doula I had
it in the back of my head thiswould be a really cool career,
this would be a cool thing to do, but I'm a nurse, so this is a
little bit beneath me kind ofthing.
I was very proud in my thinkingI can't go from clinical to
non-clinical.
(18:28):
And then I had I don't know,maybe a year later I had a
friend.
My best friend had always beenterrified of labor and so after
she got married she just didn'twant kids and want kids.
Well, her husband really wantedkids and she felt that that was
something she needed to submitto the Lord, and if he blessed
them with kids then she wouldhandle her fears.
(18:49):
And so she got pregnant and Ihad an idea it was at this later
end of her pregnancy, honestly,and I was like what if I
trained to be your doula and bethere with you?
I mean, I could train or Icould just be there.
And she was like that's anawesome idea and we will pay for
your training.
So go and do the first one youcan find.
(19:12):
So I did and I got in.
It was a virtual course that Itook and the next I don't know
the next month or so.
After that I booked a flightand I was down there the week of
her due date and we just prayedthat baby would be born that
week.
Found timing was perfect and itworked out, and so that was
(19:33):
kind of the beginning of it alland, honestly, haven't done a
lot with it, since Just findingthe tiers of child care, like
backups to your backup in casesomebody's sick or out of town,
is a really complicated thingfor this phase of life, for me
right now, and so I'm kind ofjust doing friends of friends
and word of mouth here and there, friends and family.
(20:02):
But as far as what I like aboutit and what's different, I
always when I think about itlike this is the part of nursing
that I liked the most is beingwith the people and not having
to worry about the beeps and themonitors and the numbers and
the charting, like that's thepart nobody wants to do and the
main part of my job is to bewith people and I don't have to
worry about any of those thingsthat could cost me a lot down
(20:23):
the road if I didn't chartcorrectly or whatever, and so
kind of.
After doing it with my bestfriend, I just realized like
this is so much better than whatI was doing before and being
with you know, obviously thingshappen, but being with these
moms and helping support them inthe best days of their life and
most important days of theirlife is just a really special
(20:45):
gift to be able to have and toget paid for.
It's an extra bonus.
That's so special that yourfirst doula client was your best
friend that I can't evenimagine.
Yeah, I think it's so specialto have that kind of support.
I had someone in my lastpregnancy that was not the doula
that I hired, but it's a doulaI wish I hired.
(21:05):
She was doing massage therapyand, honestly, when everything
started to unravel and not gothe way that I was hoping for
just having someone to talk toand the support was a huge thing
talk to and the support was ahuge thing and even letting me
(21:27):
cope, go through with all thedifficulties so it's definitely
such an intimate, real closefriendship type of thing that
develops that I think after youdo the kinds of, you probably
will stay in touch with them forso long because it's such a
thing to go through with someone.
I know that you have lots ofpassions and you're also
(21:48):
considering other types ofserving others and business
ideas.
When you have so many interestsand you can do so many things,
but you're also trying toprioritize motherhood and being
there, how do you handle that?
I can't say I've got it allfigured out because it's kind of
(22:09):
a daily struggle.
I've also got some brain fogand some attention problems and
some people cloak it under ADHDor whatever you want to call it
and that has, taken, honestly, alot of my mental and physical
energy at this phase of life,and motherhood is especially
overstimulating, as every motherknows, no matter what mental
(22:32):
state you're in.
But I really think that I tendto want to do everything at once
and I want to save money, andso let's DIY it, let's, I can do
that, I can figure that out.
And then I get so overwhelmedwith all the projects, all the
things I want to do, all thebusiness ideas I have, that I do
nothing because I can't peelmyself out of bed or off the
(22:53):
floor or you know.
And so for me it, I think, isinvolving simplifying.
It's not like I can't do all ofthose things.
My idea was to focus on, evenfor a hobby.
I do stained glass, I dopottery, I've done some like
mural painting, I've done cakedecorating, like all these
(23:15):
random things that I'm like I'mgonna be a professional at that
and that and I'm gonna make somoney and all of it has come
down to I get overwhelmed and Iburn out, and so I do none of it
, but picking one of thesethings.
I'm going to learn how to use adrop spindle and make my own
yarn out of wool, and then I'mgoing to learn how to crochet,
(23:37):
and I'm still stuck in thatfirst phase right now.
But I think it's a normal partof motherhood to have all these
ambitions and then just be sotired that you prioritize your
sleep or winding down andrelaxing, and then, at the end
of the day, your kids are onlylittle for so long, and this
(24:00):
feels like eternity in thisphase that we're in right now,
with little ones who arevelcroed to your hip that need
you all day, every day, and oneday I will wish for this back.
I know every old lady in thegrocery store tells you the same
thing.
And my daughter's four all of asudden.
And how did that happen?
(24:20):
And so I think I'm maybehopefully learning that the
things that I want to do I don'thave to be a martyr about it
and be like, oh, I'll prioritizemyself last.
Oh, woe is me, I'm so poor, likemy kids get everything from
You're the reason we can't havenice things and is changing that
(24:41):
mindset purposefully.
And it's, you know, a thoughtreplacing thoughts, or replacing
your negative thoughts with apositive spiritual truth.
Thankfulness is a big one, andbeing thankful for this phase of
life, whether it's easy or hard, and having small goals, is
another thing.
(25:02):
For the things that I do wantto do and I think a lot of
people too, tend to look at thebig picture of, oh, I want to be
good at this, and then they getagain overwhelmed because they
don't break it down into smallersteps, and so that's one thing
I'm trying to do to focus on onething at a time and little baby
(25:22):
steps so that I don't burn outagain.
One thing that I've admiredfrom the very first time I met
you is you were so honest andyou can just be vulnerable and
say this is hard and this ishard, and I think sometimes,
especially when you're meetingsomeone new, it's so hard to
just say that and everyone'spretending it's all good.
(25:46):
And your homeschooling youtalked a little bit about
homeschooling.
Were you homeschooled, or whatinspired you to want to
homeschool?
Honestly, I had always wantedto be homeschooled.
When I was a kid, I went to aChristian school and did not do
well socially.
I did great academically.
At the time, I thought I wasdoing great academically.
(26:08):
Now, looking back and knowingthe mental struggles that I have
just with how I learned, mylearning style I think I have
probably some auditoryprocessing stuff too, and peer
pressure and anxiety like all ofthose things played a big part
in my learning and how I handledschool and even though I made
good grades, looking back now Isee that that was actually a
(26:32):
really terrible environment forme to learn.
I didn't want my kids either,even in a Christian school.
This is how they learn and I dothink ADHD is overdiagnosed or
undertreated, with the rightprotocols like changing diet,
getting more exercise and thingslike that before you medicate
or before you consider otheroptions.
(26:53):
So I didn't want my kids tokind of have to deal with that.
In one sense, obviously,there's the sense of having
other people teach your childrenand if you're going to a public
school, a Latin the time, they,as a Christian, hate everything
I stand for and they'reactively trying to weed that out
(27:13):
of my children's hearts.
And so maybe at the verybeginning, when my son was a
baby, was something weconsidered.
But as soon as I learned moreabout the public school system
and how they worked and saw theproduct of the kids coming out
learning nothing, hardly beingable to read, not being able to
look people in the eye when theytalk to you, not having any
(27:35):
kind of and I saw this in thehospital not having any kind of
coping skills whatsoever.
I had a, I don't know, he wasprobably 14.
His mom was driving down thehighway at 80 miles an hour and
he I don't remember what he didbut she took away his phone and
he was so mad he opened the doorand jumped out on the freeway
(27:57):
because he was mad, his mom tookhis phone away and you see
things like that over and overand over and that one's just
eye-opening to me to see what iscoming out of not just the
public school in general, butthis age, this generation of
kids.
And so if I believe, if theparents are not very proactive
(28:18):
and teaching your kids, divingdeep into their heart and their
mind and who they are as aperson, that they will be lost
and have future problems.
I mean we have generations ofus now who were like oh, all the
millennials are anxious and wecan't even make a phone call
(28:41):
without having a racing heartand we can't answer the doorbell
, and why, as a generation, weall have the same symptoms.
Well, we were all raised thesame way, for the most part, and
I think every generation is areaction of their parents'
generations, like a pendulumswing.
Oh, I don't want to be like myparents, and so I'm going to do
(29:01):
the exact opposite, and I thinkthat there's got to be a happy
medium somewhere, and so we'rehoping to find that with
homeschooling, and I also wantedmy kids to learn other things
that weren't really being taughtin school, like finances and
farming and herbalism, likefinding a plant.
(29:21):
What is this plant?
It's not a weed.
Maybe it popped up and wedidn't plant it, but what is it
good for?
And it's traditionally used forso many things and it's
actually real medicines in thehospital are derived from this
plant today.
Why don't we just use the plant?
Oh, because you can't makemoney off of wheat.
You know it goes so deep andthese kids are capable of so
much that I think most schoolsdon't even give them a chance to
(29:47):
think this way at all.
Was your spouse on board withhomeschooling right away?
Yeah, he was on board becausehe saw the you know the same
thing I did.
He was homeschooled and he didnot have a great experience.
He felt like the way his familydid.
It was not very supportive ofthe career that he was aiming
(30:09):
towards, which, at the time whenhe first started out, he had
wanted to be a pediatrician andhe couldn't get in to the right
school because he didn't havethe certifications and he ended
up working a lot of his highschool career.
He'd do school in the morningand then work in the afternoon,
which is fine and great.
Honestly, homeschool doesn'ttake as long as a traditional
(30:32):
school day.
Some people don't know that youcan get a lot done a lot faster
when it's one-on-one.
He really wanted to do it adifferent way and he is still
concerned about certificationsand tracking classes and courses
and credits and things likethat.
How do you think you will dothings differently in terms of
(30:53):
what are you hoping to do withyour kids in case they do want
to pursue a more traditionalcareer?
So in the state of Michigan,you do not have to have a
curriculum.
However, the curriculum thatwe're looking at using keeps
track of the credits for you sothat if anybody does ask, you
have all the courses that you'vetaken.
You have everything already ona list for you, easy to submit
(31:17):
and, from what I understand,from what I've heard from other
homeschool moms that are goingthrough the high school phase,
it's actually not as big of adeal as maybe it used to be.
Homeschooling is a lot morecommon.
So I just recently met someonewho is a second-generation
homeschooler All three kids soher and her siblings ended up
(31:38):
doing Ivy League crazy.
Oh, wow, yeah, well, becausethey're more prepared.
Yeah, and apparently a lot ofthe major universities now have
specific spots set aside forhomeschoolers because it's way
more common and they bring adifferent perspective to the
world and to class.
So, with you having so manyinterests, your kids obviously,
(32:01):
as they grow and every yearthey're going to develop new
interests have different typesof passions.
How do you think you're goingto navigate, encouraging those
picking things at the same timeletting them explore all their
different interests?
What do you think that's goingto look like for your family?
Yeah, just my personality, it'sgoing to make that problem more
(32:23):
challenging than it would befor other people.
How do you choose?
There's a thousand things youcould have your kid do.
He's not going to get toexperience them all.
So how do you narrow thosethings down for them so that
they can at least see if theylike them world of in.
There's this girl I know, andshe has.
I think he's like four or five,but then she also has like
(32:53):
three high school kids and everysingle weekend and day you know
, weekdays too they are atbasketball, every single, and
they do travel.
They do, you know, with theschool as well.
They're paying hundreds ofdollars not just for going to
the tournament but for hotelstays and all, and this is their
(33:14):
life.
And I I tend to be againsomewhere in the middle that
there has to be a balancebetween giving this kid a
fighting chance to be doing thebest that they can be.
That's something I felt like I Ididn't really as a kid,
probably because I was sofocused on doing a thousand
things instead of one.
So, for instance, my son is sixnow.
(33:35):
He's super into baseball and Iwant him to have the chance to
pursue that as much as he can.
But you know he's never playedsoccer.
He might be great at that, youknow, and it's so easy to feel
all that mom guilt.
It's pervasive in every area ofmotherhood, I think, from both
(33:57):
sides of the.
Whatever perspective you'rearguing for or against, you're
going to have it from externallyand internally as well.
And I think I've had a fewpeople one of them was maybe on
a podcast and just theperspectives and I almost feel
like I needed permission fromsomeone to be like it's okay, if
(34:18):
your kid doesn't do all thethings, he's not going to be
scarred, he's not going to havebeen this NBA player, but he
never became an NBA playerbecause he never played like
basketball when he was six.
Like that is not a burden thatwe need to carry as moms, and so
that's a struggle that I haveto kind of balance, reason like
(34:42):
what is reasonable for ourfamily right now.
Right now we're doing twobaseball games a week and that's
great.
But if my daughter startstumbling or dance classes and
she's going once or twice a week, and that's great.
But if my daughter startstumbling or dance classes when
she's going once or twice a week, that's about our limit and
that is okay to limit that foryour mental health.
But also I'm on the mindset nowwhere kids thrive with a slower
(35:07):
pace and they do better whenthey're not go, go, go, go going
all the time, and sometimesthat's just a choice you might
have to make for them on theirbehalf.
If you have bitterness problemswhen they're an adult, you'll
handle that.
I think that's.
One of the gifts ofhomeschooling, though, is that
you don't miss those eight to 10hours of commutes and things
(35:30):
like that that you typicallywouldn't do, so you have more
time to explore different things, to let them see what it is
that they like, and then I agreewith you too, because I'm
already there's so manyactivities in our area that I
always think, oh, but he hasn'tdone that, and right now he's so
little that there's not as much, but I also look forward to
(35:51):
when, as they grow, they cangive you feedback.
Right, I actually really lovethis, as opposed to that to try,
yeah, whatever many otherthings.
So one thing that I reallywanted to talk about is in terms
of when you are morenatural-minded, holistic.
(36:14):
Sometimes going to hospitalscan feel so intimidating,
especially if you are going tobe declining some of the
traditional things.
I personally find hospitals sointimidating.
How do you think, as someonethat has been on the other side
and also gets the frustration ofa parent where you're trying to
(36:35):
help them and they're not Right, what's a good way or tips for
moms or dads to navigate thatI'll stop there.
Yeah, I'll say even for me itis an anxiety that I have had
when I was working in thehospital.
I was not really holisticallyminded.
(36:56):
Maybe towards the very end Iwas starting to question things.
And I question now, ifsomething happened and my
husband was out of work orwhatever and I needed to get a
job like right away that was asteady job.
I didn't feel like starting upa business just quite yet what
would I do?
(37:16):
And if I ever had to go back tothe hospital, could my
conscience handle giving thesekids?
These medications that I nowknow have actually not been
studied for pediatrics.
They've maybe been consideredsafe in adults and they're used
in pediatrics very commonly, butthey also have quite
significant side effects thatare unrelated to this medication
(37:37):
that is used all the time,every day and given out like
candy.
I will say that I really likethe direction in general that
we're going with things.
We're starting to accept morevitamins, like that's a big
scary thing.
Vitamin C Wow, that's beenaround forever.
It shouldn't be this like weirdhippie thing and people are
(38:00):
being more open to supplementsand things like that.
Before turning to medication,there's a time and a place for
everything.
I'm not saying I'manti-medication because I'm not.
I am anti-treat every symptomwith a medication when we should
be looking for the root causeof things.
Healthcare in general, it is sorun by insurance companies, by
(38:23):
money, by what you were taughtin med school, and you just look
at the food in the hospital andyou see their mindset on
nutrition it doesn't matter, andI'm of the mindset that of the
complete opposite, that it iseverything.
Your diet is the buildingblocks for you are what you eat.
The beginning of this questionwas aimed at what moms do, what
(38:47):
parents do when they come intothe hospital setting and they
are overwhelmed by these optionsand obviously it depends on the
situation.
It depends on why you're there.
If you're there for a trauma,just do the hospital, let them
do their thing.
They are good at saving kids'lives in that situation.
If you have a chronic kid witha chronic health problem, that's
(39:10):
a different situation, becauseyou have time to look up these
medications.
These aren't changing every day.
These aren't a short-termmedication.
A lot of times for these kids,this is something they're going
to be on maybe for the rest oftheir life, and you have time to
find alternatives and thingslike that, and that's something
you can handle outpatient forthe most part.
If you're in a life-saving time.
You have an infection, takeantibiotics Okay to be crunchy
(39:34):
or holistic and go to thehospital and accept treatment
While you're there.
You can always learn more ifthere's a specific procedure or
whatever.
Keep learning.
How has your faith helped toguide these transitions?
And also, as you plan for thefuture, what role does that play
for you?
So I'm a believer in God and myfaith is everything.
(39:59):
It's the foundation of ourwhole lives, and that is
something that's easily lost inreal life dealing with a tantrum
or dealing with frustratedhusband or, you know, being
overstimulated and feelingover-touched, and so that is
something that every day, we arepraying and aiming towards
(40:20):
Christlikeness.
Obviously, it's not somethingwe can do on our own, and
without God's work on the cross,we have no hope for the future
in heaven, and that is whatgives us hope to continue to,
when everything in the worldseems to be going wrong, to not
give up and continue, because weknow the fight is more than
(40:41):
just about here and now.
It's about eternity, and I amamazed to think about people who
try to do all of this alone,without having God on their side
, to not just to talk to aboutthings with, but to also have as
an ally who is actually.
(41:01):
Prayer works.
Prayer is effective and healways answers.
He doesn't always say yes, hedoesn't always give us what we
want, even what seems fair.
Just because bad things happendoesn't mean God isn't good.
And that's hard in real life tomake with the death of a family
member or the loss of a job,but when it comes back down to
(41:22):
the baseline of doesn't matterwhat I feel.
It's about what I know to betrue, what God has told me.
I can be grounded in that.
I really love that.
I think that's a goodencouraging spot to end, because
I think that was true for metoo, that motherhood was the
thing that just drew me back toGod so much because it felt so
(41:44):
overwhelming, and so I cannotimagine doing motherhood on my
own.
So thank you so much for yourtime and for being so willing to
share about your journey.
I loved it.
For today's episode takeaways, Ihave six.
One your career is not youridentity.
Stepping away from a professionthat you've worked hard for can
(42:06):
feel like an identity crisis,but motherhood can open the door
to new callings and deeperpurpose.
Two perspective changeseverything.
Working with sick children gaveLauren compassion for parents,
but becoming a mom helped herreshape how she connected with
families in the hospital.
Three slow present living hasvalue, from homeschooling to
(42:31):
morning cuddles.
Choosing a slower pace allowsmore connection, creativity and
joy in the little years, sosavor it.
Four you can step into newroles.
Transitioning from hospitalnursing to becoming a doula
shows how skills and passionscan evolve into new ways of
serving and supporting others.
(42:53):
Five faith as a foundation.
When career paths shift ormotherhood feels overwhelming,
anchoring in faith providespeace, direction and strength to
keep going.
And lastly, it's okay tosimplify.
With many interests, ideas andpressures, sometimes the most
freeing choice is to focus onjust one small step at a time.
(43:14):
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
(43:35):
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode and if you
want to keep the conversationgoing.
Connect with me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A, c-o-t-o.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
(43:56):
dreams, it's just the beginning.
In this episode, I'm joined by Lauren Washington, a
former pediatric intensive careunit nurse who had the courage
to leave a steady, well-payingcareer after COVID to be more
present with her children andpursue a life that aligns with
her values.
Now Lauren is a certified doula, a homeschooling mom and a
(00:22):
creative with many passions.
Lauren's story reminds us thatwe don't need a perfectly
polished business plan or a bigtitle to walk in purpose.
Today, we'll talk about what ittakes to leave the safe path,
the beauty of trying multiplethings and how motherhood can be
the catalyst that gives uspermission to reimagine
everything.
This conversation is for themom who's wondering if it's okay
(00:45):
to start over or startsomething totally new.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans, the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
(01:08):
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
(01:30):
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
(01:54):
So, lauren, you spent many yearsworking in the hospital system.
I know you worked in pediatrics, er and also intensive care
unit.
I'm wondering what drew you tonursing originally?
I think most nurses and medicalpeople in general get started
because they want to help peoplein general, and that's a really
vague kind of answer and a lotof the time they don't know what
that means in real life, butthey think that helping people's
physical body is what's goingto be of best help to them
(02:17):
overall.
For me, I had wantedspecifically to do medical
missions.
I'd wanted to kind of get sometraining here in the States,
figure out what I was doing, andthen go work somewhere abroad
and I had started working onsome Spanish and stuff, and so I
thought maybe God would lead mein that direction and I was
able to take several medicalmission trips and things to
(02:39):
different countries, which was alife-changing experience.
It was amazing, but obviously,obviously God led me in a
different path.
So I mean, that's kind of whatgot me started, and then it just
goes from there.
Really, what is it like to workin emergency situations with
children?
Most people, when they wouldhear that I work in PEDS, they
(03:00):
always say oh, how do you dothat?
How do you work with kids?
That must be so heartbreakingand, honestly, when I started I
was of the mindset because I hadworked first with adults and it
was a cancer floor.
There was so much death, therewas so much disability.
These people's pride andeverything that they had been as
a person, their whole life, wassuddenly gone and it was a
(03:21):
really depressing, gross,honestly, field to work in.
And so I always knew I wantedto work with kids, but I
couldn't get in right out ofnursing school because it's a
specialized field.
I got in with a pediatric ERright before I got married.
I moved to Georgia and started anew hospital and first I worked
on the floor inpatient, so Igot some of that view with
(03:42):
surgery and trauma patients, andthen I worked in the ER for
several more years after thatand at the time I didn't have
kids.
So at the time it was very notpersonal, it was just a job.
It's just a thing that you doand yeah, it's sad.
Sometimes People would alwayssay, how do you give these kids
IVs, how do you make them dothese hard things?
And in my mind it was what theyneeded.
(04:03):
Of course they're not going tolike it.
You do things for your kids allthe time that they don't like
and that's what's best.
And so it wasn't hard for me.
And I will say I did have aftermy son was born and actually I
wasn't working after my daughterwas born, but after my son was
born it was a differentsituation, especially working in
the ER.
I did a few traumas.
(04:23):
I was certified in trauma.
There was this one case inparticular.
He was pretty close to my son'sage and he passed away due to
abuse and that one kind of hithome thinking how someone can do
that to a child.
But in general most of what yousee in the ER is re-noses and
fevers and rashes and, you know,a broken arm occasionally,
(04:45):
things like that.
But most of it is not theheart-wrecking situations, but
obviously they do happen.
Yeah, it's hard.
I can only imagine how you cango from that and then go home
and then you have your own childand but I also think it's
important to have people thatare compassionate and that will
(05:08):
genuinely care for their patient.
Did you find that you had to doa lot of management of the
parents as opposed to the child,or was it when someone is in an
ER or intensive care unitsituation you felt that you
didn't have to manage?
The parents were the worst.
They were the worst part of thewhole thing.
(05:30):
Honestly, the kids were a blastfor the most part.
Now, as a parent, I understandand I did find that after my son
had gotten, you know, croup oreven just minor sicknesses, a
few times I had to contemplategoing in the hospital or what I
was going to do.
That changed my perspective asa nurse and it made me a lot
more compassionate towards theparents coming in who are
(05:51):
freaking out.
Maybe they have good reason,maybe they don't, but like this
is a completely new world forthem.
So, yeah, they were toughsometimes, but also they knew
their kid the best and it wasvery easy to have the mindset
Most of the doctors and nurseswould get so jaded after seeing
(06:12):
what they saw they just say, oh,that parent's crazy, or they
don't really know what.
I know because I'm a nurse orwhatever, and no, nine times out
of 10, the parent was rightabout things.
They know when their kid's off.
They know when something's moreserious.
Maybe to us, clinically itwould be insignificant, but for
them it's way off for their kid.
And it's hard when you haveother staff who are downplaying
(06:35):
that.
Because now, as a mom comingaway, I know the talk that
happens behind closed doors at ahospital and that's always
going to be in the back of mymind.
There's just that crazy momwho's over-concerned.
And now you have left thetraditional healthcare path.
I'm wondering what was thehardest part about leaving that
chapter behind?
(06:56):
It was a big identity crisisfor me.
A little bit.
I didn't enjoy this last jobthat I was at when we moved up
here to Michigan.
Right before my daughter wasborn, I started a new hospital,
so I did work a little bit inthe PICU Most of it was on the
pediatric floor as a float nurse.
But I did not really integrateinto the social hierarchy of the
(07:21):
nurses there very well becauseI didn't work very often.
Most of them were new grads.
Hierarchy of the nurses there.
Very well, because they didn'twork very often, most of them
were new grads and the whole wayof the hospital, how it runs
was different, the dynamics andeverything.
I didn't enjoy going to work.
It wasn't like you had to tearme away from my job in that
sense, but it was like I workedso hard to get where I am today.
My certifications I had atrauma certification, a
(07:42):
pediatric certification that Iworked hard for and if they go
away I knew I would probablynever get it again.
That was probably the hardestthing for me.
Obviously there was a financialaspect where I was making the
most money I had ever madeprobably before, at least hourly
and we came to the conclusionthat it was not worth the stress
(08:03):
of working so infrequently thatI kind of forget how things
work or forget the protocols orforget passwords, even you know,
and then have to worry aboutthat when I get home and the
next time before I go into work.
It wasn't worth the money thatI was making, and so the
financial aspect was evenprobably backseat to the whole
identity thing.
It's like if I don't have mycareer I'm just a mom, and now I
(08:29):
know that's a lie from Satan.
That isn't true, but I thinkmost women, especially in
today's age where you're told ifyou don't work you're either
lazy or worthless, that you'renot doing anything important
with your life, and I just.
It's so easy to lose youridentity and motherhood, and so
(08:49):
that was probably the biggeststruggle for me is, if not this,
then what I feel wasted alittle bit, like all this
distance that I've come all tosit at home with my two-year-old
and play cars.
Was it a I've had enoughsituation or did it take a
number of years?
How did you come to theconclusion that you needed to
(09:12):
leave that path for a moreuntraditional path?
Yeah it, so I had started I'msure we'll talk about this later
.
I had started my holisticjourney before COVID started,
but it was kind of solidifiedduring COVID at least the
direction that I was going withmy life, and I saw a lot of the
misinformation that washappening.
(09:33):
That just wasn't real life,like what people were told on TV
was not what was happening inmy hospital.
I'm sure there were some placeswhere it was really bad.
They were laying people off,they were forcing people to get
the COVID vaccine or you wouldlose your job A lot of places.
I know that was the case andthankfully I was pregnant with
(09:55):
my daughter at the time and sothey let me have an exemption
for that.
And then, just after she wasborn, I dreaded going back and
my husband actually was veryencouraging.
He's like don't go back, likeyou're more needed here.
It's so stressful for you.
Just stay home and be whereyou're needed.
So that was kind of whatinitiated.
Did you experience any guilt oroutside pressure from either
(10:19):
friends the other friends thatwere nurses or other family
members you mentioned yourhusband was very supportive, but
anyone kind of feeding into thehow can you throw away your
career or let this dream go?
Yeah, honestly, I had a reallysupportive team my family, my
parents, everybody.
(10:39):
Not that it was really anybodyelse's decision to make but me
and my husband's, but I thinkhad I talked maybe more about it
at the work setting, I wouldhave got more of that, but
thankfully most of the pressurewas internal.
That's so often the case.
What has being more presentwith your kids looked like since
(11:00):
leaving health care I had thebaby and I didn't come back.
For some people I'm sure theywould go crazy in the way that
we kind of run our day.
We are very loose with ourschedule, with our planning.
So my son is in kindergartenthis year and we've done
homeschool and it's been a verykind of a carefree year for us
(11:22):
to kind of get into homeschool.
We've done he's learning somereading and he's, you know,
doing some hands-on math andlearning cooking and planting a
garden and things like that.
But most of it has been reallylike I kind of let him sleep in.
I do I let him sleep in until,you know, their bodies are ready
(11:43):
to wake up and we have aspecial morning time together,
which kind of goes.
And I think that the nextquestion is what maybe wouldn't
have fit in my old life.
That brings me peace now, andthat's my favorite time of the
day is first thing in themorning when the kids wake up.
They come in bed and we justkind of cuddle and talk about
(12:03):
our day and about how they sleptand their dreams and you know,
just all that sweet little stuffthat really only comes with the
little years and that wouldn'thave, that wouldn't work, if I
had to get up and go to workthat morning or, you know, had
we had a tight schedule to keep.
So that's been really enjoyablefor us to be able to just kind
of do our thing.
We have a play date, whateverwe want.
(12:25):
We go to the zoo whenever wewant, but we're constantly
learning.
It's not like we're never doinganything.
The kids are learning tocontribute in the household and
they're learning honestly.
Their imaginations grow everyday and I think that's a big
part of childhood that ismissing the sleeping in part.
I'm so looking forward toletting my kids because I have
so many memories as a child.
(12:45):
Our school was so early, yeah,and my parents, we would
literally be chasing the bus.
I remember so many times Withmy car and honking at the bus
and seeing a bit of the stuffPoor memories, yeah, one that
I'm hoping to not pass on.
You also made a big change inmoving from city to country
(13:08):
setting.
Can you tell me more about whatprompted that and how that sort
of plays into your new visionof what you hope your life is
like?
So before this, we lived in asuburb with an itty bitty, teeny
tiny yard and the kids loved tobe outside.
They would just dig in a pileof dirt for hours.
(13:30):
I think there were severalthings that kind of prompted it.
We had always talked aboutgetting more land One day, one
day, one day, and it was kind ofone of those things that I
never really expected to happenin real life.
We would turn 60 and be like,yeah, that's one of those things
we never actually followedthrough with.
But my son, his dream was to bea farmer and he just would say,
(13:50):
mom, one day, when we have afarm, I want to plant this and
this and this.
And so it was.
Honestly, it sounds silly, butit was kind of our catalyst to
take this seriously.
They were outgrowing our littleitty bitty yard and my daughter
I was standing out there one dayacross the street talking to
the neighbor which is like superclose and I was watching her.
(14:10):
She was crossing the street andthis car came speeding down
like 50 miles an hour.
He saw her and he kept goingand she was on a scooter, she
was having a hard time crossingand he almost hit her that day.
I was like we got to go, we gotto get out of here.
Honestly, the other neighborbehind us too was smoking weed
(14:31):
all day, every day, morning tonight, and I didn't even feel
like my kids could be right onthe other side of the fence,
like there's no getting awayfrom that.
That's not fair to them, thatthey can't breathe clean air.
If you want to do your ownthing at your own time, fine,
but it was affecting my family.
So we just decided we wanted adifferent pace of life.
We wanted to be a little bitmore self-sufficient in our food
(14:52):
.
We wanted to know what wasgoing on in our food and just be
able to do more with our space,to host more.
Our house was so tiny wecouldn't really have anybody
over, and so I think this waskind of just the beginning step
for us to grow as a family andtake on a new adventure.
I really liked how your sonprompted that and encouraged you
(15:17):
even more with that.
And now you became a doula andhelp moms that want support,
extra support during birth.
How did you side on that andwhat do you love about it?
That's different from thehospital.
So I guess, to make sure thateverybody understands what a
(15:39):
doula is, it's a relatively newterm or a new career, and a
doula basically is anon-clinical helper for the mom.
Birth coach is another kind ofword for it Helping physically,
emotionally, educationally,helping the mom make sure that
she is fully informed.
(15:59):
A lot of people say doulasempower the moms.
I like to say doulas help themoms empower themselves, making
sure that they understand andthey have the time and space to
make the decisions that theyneed Also involves the birth
partner.
So usually the dad or, if themom's in the room, the grandma's
in the room, even in home birthsituations, helping with the
(16:20):
kids, helping make sure youexplain things to the kids in a
way that's not scary to them.
All of those things kind ofencompass what a doula is.
I had a traumatic first birthwith my son.
He was born at 33 weeks.
I felt like nobody listened tome.
My husband was working nightshift, my water had broken and I
knew we were going to be in theNICU.
(16:40):
So I told him go home, sleep,because we're going to be here a
while.
So he did and I knew thingswere picking up.
Things were starting,contractions were starting and
nurse after nurse came in and oh, you could be like this for
weeks.
This is not a big deal, not abig deal, not a big deal.
And to the point of I'm in thedelivery room telling my mom,
(17:01):
who happened to be there with meat the time call my husband,
have him come.
And the nurse was like no, it'sfine, you've got time.
And I felt so stupid because ofthat one nurse.
So I was like, ok, well, Iguess, give him a little bit
more time to sleep, and 15minutes later my son was born.
My husband didn't make itbecause of that one nurse, and
(17:24):
the whole situation surroundingpremature birth is pretty
traumatizing.
I thankfully had the medicalbackground and so I knew more.
So what was going on?
I honestly wasn't maybe asscared as I should have been.
I know my husband was terrifiedseeing all of the wires and the
beeps and the cords and the IVsand everything, and I feel like
(17:45):
if we would have had somebodythere with us advocating for me
or helping me advocate formyself, that whole situation
would have gone differently.
And so with my second I, Idecided I wanted to hire a doula
.
I had done a lot of my owneducation as well, which helps
tremendously, but I had anexcellent, amazing natural birth
(18:07):
with her and after myexperience with my doula I had
it in the back of my head thiswould be a really cool career,
this would be a cool thing to do, but I'm a nurse, so this is a
little bit beneath me kind ofthing.
I was very proud in my thinkingI can't go from clinical to
non-clinical.
(18:28):
And then I had I don't know,maybe a year later I had a
friend.
My best friend had always beenterrified of labor and so after
she got married she just didn'twant kids and want kids.
Well, her husband really wantedkids and she felt that that was
something she needed to submitto the Lord, and if he blessed
them with kids then she wouldhandle her fears.
(18:49):
And so she got pregnant and Ihad an idea it was at this later
end of her pregnancy, honestly,and I was like what if I
trained to be your doula and bethere with you?
I mean, I could train or Icould just be there.
And she was like that's anawesome idea and we will pay for
your training.
So go and do the first one youcan find.
(19:12):
So I did and I got in.
It was a virtual course that Itook and the next I don't know
the next month or so.
After that I booked a flightand I was down there the week of
her due date and we just prayedthat baby would be born that
week.
Found timing was perfect and itworked out, and so that was
(19:33):
kind of the beginning of it alland, honestly, haven't done a
lot with it, since Just findingthe tiers of child care, like
backups to your backup in casesomebody's sick or out of town,
is a really complicated thingfor this phase of life, for me
right now, and so I'm kind ofjust doing friends of friends
and word of mouth here and there, friends and family.
(20:02):
But as far as what I like aboutit and what's different, I
always when I think about itlike this is the part of nursing
that I liked the most is beingwith the people and not having
to worry about the beeps and themonitors and the numbers and
the charting, like that's thepart nobody wants to do and the
main part of my job is to bewith people and I don't have to
worry about any of those thingsthat could cost me a lot down
(20:23):
the road if I didn't chartcorrectly or whatever, and so
kind of.
After doing it with my bestfriend, I just realized like
this is so much better than whatI was doing before and being
with you know, obviously thingshappen, but being with these
moms and helping support them inthe best days of their life and
most important days of theirlife is just a really special
(20:45):
gift to be able to have and toget paid for.
It's an extra bonus.
That's so special that yourfirst doula client was your best
friend that I can't evenimagine.
Yeah, I think it's so specialto have that kind of support.
I had someone in my lastpregnancy that was not the doula
that I hired, but it's a doulaI wish I hired.
(21:05):
She was doing massage therapyand, honestly, when everything
started to unravel and not gothe way that I was hoping for
just having someone to talk toand the support was a huge thing
talk to and the support was ahuge thing and even letting me
(21:27):
cope, go through with all thedifficulties so it's definitely
such an intimate, real closefriendship type of thing that
develops that I think after youdo the kinds of, you probably
will stay in touch with them forso long because it's such a
thing to go through with someone.
I know that you have lots ofpassions and you're also
(21:48):
considering other types ofserving others and business
ideas.
When you have so many interestsand you can do so many things,
but you're also trying toprioritize motherhood and being
there, how do you handle that?
I can't say I've got it allfigured out because it's kind of
(22:09):
a daily struggle.
I've also got some brain fogand some attention problems and
some people cloak it under ADHDor whatever you want to call it
and that has, taken, honestly, alot of my mental and physical
energy at this phase of life,and motherhood is especially
overstimulating, as every motherknows, no matter what mental
(22:32):
state you're in.
But I really think that I tendto want to do everything at once
and I want to save money, andso let's DIY it, let's, I can do
that, I can figure that out.
And then I get so overwhelmedwith all the projects, all the
things I want to do, all thebusiness ideas I have, that I do
nothing because I can't peelmyself out of bed or off the
(22:53):
floor or you know.
And so for me it, I think, isinvolving simplifying.
It's not like I can't do all ofthose things.
My idea was to focus on, evenfor a hobby.
I do stained glass, I dopottery, I've done some like
mural painting, I've done cakedecorating, like all these
(23:15):
random things that I'm like I'mgonna be a professional at that
and that and I'm gonna make somoney and all of it has come
down to I get overwhelmed and Iburn out, and so I do none of it
, but picking one of thesethings.
I'm going to learn how to use adrop spindle and make my own
yarn out of wool, and then I'mgoing to learn how to crochet,
(23:37):
and I'm still stuck in thatfirst phase right now.
But I think it's a normal partof motherhood to have all these
ambitions and then just be sotired that you prioritize your
sleep or winding down andrelaxing, and then, at the end
of the day, your kids are onlylittle for so long, and this
(24:00):
feels like eternity in thisphase that we're in right now,
with little ones who arevelcroed to your hip that need
you all day, every day, and oneday I will wish for this back.
I know every old lady in thegrocery store tells you the same
thing.
And my daughter's four all of asudden.
And how did that happen?
(24:20):
And so I think I'm maybehopefully learning that the
things that I want to do I don'thave to be a martyr about it
and be like, oh, I'll prioritizemyself last.
Oh, woe is me, I'm so poor, likemy kids get everything from
You're the reason we can't havenice things and is changing that
(24:41):
mindset purposefully.
And it's, you know, a thoughtreplacing thoughts, or replacing
your negative thoughts with apositive spiritual truth.
Thankfulness is a big one, andbeing thankful for this phase of
life, whether it's easy or hard, and having small goals, is
another thing.
(25:02):
For the things that I do wantto do and I think a lot of
people too, tend to look at thebig picture of, oh, I want to be
good at this, and then they getagain overwhelmed because they
don't break it down into smallersteps, and so that's one thing
I'm trying to do to focus on onething at a time and little baby
(25:22):
steps so that I don't burn outagain.
One thing that I've admiredfrom the very first time I met
you is you were so honest andyou can just be vulnerable and
say this is hard and this ishard, and I think sometimes,
especially when you're meetingsomeone new, it's so hard to
just say that and everyone'spretending it's all good.
(25:46):
And your homeschooling youtalked a little bit about
homeschooling.
Were you homeschooled, or whatinspired you to want to
homeschool?
Honestly, I had always wantedto be homeschooled.
When I was a kid, I went to aChristian school and did not do
well socially.
I did great academically.
At the time, I thought I wasdoing great academically.
(26:08):
Now, looking back and knowingthe mental struggles that I have
just with how I learned, mylearning style I think I have
probably some auditoryprocessing stuff too, and peer
pressure and anxiety like all ofthose things played a big part
in my learning and how I handledschool and even though I made
good grades, looking back now Isee that that was actually a
(26:32):
really terrible environment forme to learn.
I didn't want my kids either,even in a Christian school.
This is how they learn and I dothink ADHD is overdiagnosed or
undertreated, with the rightprotocols like changing diet,
getting more exercise and thingslike that before you medicate
or before you consider otheroptions.
(26:53):
So I didn't want my kids tokind of have to deal with that.
In one sense, obviously,there's the sense of having
other people teach your childrenand if you're going to a public
school, a Latin the time, they,as a Christian, hate everything
I stand for and they'reactively trying to weed that out
(27:13):
of my children's hearts.
And so maybe at the verybeginning, when my son was a
baby, was something weconsidered.
But as soon as I learned moreabout the public school system
and how they worked and saw theproduct of the kids coming out
learning nothing, hardly beingable to read, not being able to
look people in the eye when theytalk to you, not having any
(27:35):
kind of and I saw this in thehospital not having any kind of
coping skills whatsoever.
I had a, I don't know, he wasprobably 14.
His mom was driving down thehighway at 80 miles an hour and
he I don't remember what he didbut she took away his phone and
he was so mad he opened the doorand jumped out on the freeway
(27:57):
because he was mad, his mom tookhis phone away and you see
things like that over and overand over and that one's just
eye-opening to me to see what iscoming out of not just the
public school in general, butthis age, this generation of
kids.
And so if I believe, if theparents are not very proactive
(28:18):
and teaching your kids, divingdeep into their heart and their
mind and who they are as aperson, that they will be lost
and have future problems.
I mean we have generations ofus now who were like oh, all the
millennials are anxious and wecan't even make a phone call
(28:41):
without having a racing heartand we can't answer the doorbell
, and why, as a generation, weall have the same symptoms.
Well, we were all raised thesame way, for the most part, and
I think every generation is areaction of their parents'
generations, like a pendulumswing.
Oh, I don't want to be like myparents, and so I'm going to do
(29:01):
the exact opposite, and I thinkthat there's got to be a happy
medium somewhere, and so we'rehoping to find that with
homeschooling, and I also wantedmy kids to learn other things
that weren't really being taughtin school, like finances and
farming and herbalism, likefinding a plant.
(29:21):
What is this plant?
It's not a weed.
Maybe it popped up and wedidn't plant it, but what is it
good for?
And it's traditionally used forso many things and it's
actually real medicines in thehospital are derived from this
plant today.
Why don't we just use the plant?
Oh, because you can't makemoney off of wheat.
You know it goes so deep andthese kids are capable of so
much that I think most schoolsdon't even give them a chance to
(29:47):
think this way at all.
Was your spouse on board withhomeschooling right away?
Yeah, he was on board becausehe saw the you know the same
thing I did.
He was homeschooled and he didnot have a great experience.
He felt like the way his familydid.
It was not very supportive ofthe career that he was aiming
(30:09):
towards, which, at the time whenhe first started out, he had
wanted to be a pediatrician andhe couldn't get in to the right
school because he didn't havethe certifications and he ended
up working a lot of his highschool career.
He'd do school in the morningand then work in the afternoon,
which is fine and great.
Honestly, homeschool doesn'ttake as long as a traditional
(30:32):
school day.
Some people don't know that youcan get a lot done a lot faster
when it's one-on-one.
He really wanted to do it adifferent way and he is still
concerned about certificationsand tracking classes and courses
and credits and things likethat.
How do you think you will dothings differently in terms of
(30:53):
what are you hoping to do withyour kids in case they do want
to pursue a more traditionalcareer?
So in the state of Michigan,you do not have to have a
curriculum.
However, the curriculum thatwe're looking at using keeps
track of the credits for you sothat if anybody does ask, you
have all the courses that you'vetaken.
You have everything already ona list for you, easy to submit
(31:17):
and, from what I understand,from what I've heard from other
homeschool moms that are goingthrough the high school phase,
it's actually not as big of adeal as maybe it used to be.
Homeschooling is a lot morecommon.
So I just recently met someonewho is a second-generation
homeschooler All three kids soher and her siblings ended up
(31:38):
doing Ivy League crazy.
Oh, wow, yeah, well, becausethey're more prepared.
Yeah, and apparently a lot ofthe major universities now have
specific spots set aside forhomeschoolers because it's way
more common and they bring adifferent perspective to the
world and to class.
So, with you having so manyinterests, your kids obviously,
(32:01):
as they grow and every yearthey're going to develop new
interests have different typesof passions.
How do you think you're goingto navigate, encouraging those
picking things at the same timeletting them explore all their
different interests?
What do you think that's goingto look like for your family?
Yeah, just my personality, it'sgoing to make that problem more
(32:23):
challenging than it would befor other people.
How do you choose?
There's a thousand things youcould have your kid do.
He's not going to get toexperience them all.
So how do you narrow thosethings down for them so that
they can at least see if theylike them world of in.
There's this girl I know, andshe has.
I think he's like four or five,but then she also has like
(32:53):
three high school kids and everysingle weekend and day you know
, weekdays too they are atbasketball, every single, and
they do travel.
They do, you know, with theschool as well.
They're paying hundreds ofdollars not just for going to
the tournament but for hotelstays and all, and this is their
(33:14):
life.
And I I tend to be againsomewhere in the middle that
there has to be a balancebetween giving this kid a
fighting chance to be doing thebest that they can be.
That's something I felt like I Ididn't really as a kid,
probably because I was sofocused on doing a thousand
things instead of one.
So, for instance, my son is sixnow.
(33:35):
He's super into baseball and Iwant him to have the chance to
pursue that as much as he can.
But you know he's never playedsoccer.
He might be great at that, youknow, and it's so easy to feel
all that mom guilt.
It's pervasive in every area ofmotherhood, I think, from both
(33:57):
sides of the.
Whatever perspective you'rearguing for or against, you're
going to have it from externallyand internally as well.
And I think I've had a fewpeople one of them was maybe on
a podcast and just theperspectives and I almost feel
like I needed permission fromsomeone to be like it's okay, if
(34:18):
your kid doesn't do all thethings, he's not going to be
scarred, he's not going to havebeen this NBA player, but he
never became an NBA playerbecause he never played like
basketball when he was six.
Like that is not a burden thatwe need to carry as moms, and so
that's a struggle that I haveto kind of balance, reason like
(34:42):
what is reasonable for ourfamily right now.
Right now we're doing twobaseball games a week and that's
great.
But if my daughter startstumbling or dance classes and
she's going once or twice a week, and that's great.
But if my daughter startstumbling or dance classes when
she's going once or twice a week, that's about our limit and
that is okay to limit that foryour mental health.
But also I'm on the mindset nowwhere kids thrive with a slower
(35:07):
pace and they do better whenthey're not go, go, go, go going
all the time, and sometimesthat's just a choice you might
have to make for them on theirbehalf.
If you have bitterness problemswhen they're an adult, you'll
handle that.
I think that's.
One of the gifts ofhomeschooling, though, is that
you don't miss those eight to 10hours of commutes and things
(35:30):
like that that you typicallywouldn't do, so you have more
time to explore different things, to let them see what it is
that they like, and then I agreewith you too, because I'm
already there's so manyactivities in our area that I
always think, oh, but he hasn'tdone that, and right now he's so
little that there's not as much, but I also look forward to
(35:51):
when, as they grow, they cangive you feedback.
Right, I actually really lovethis, as opposed to that to try,
yeah, whatever many otherthings.
So one thing that I reallywanted to talk about is in terms
of when you are morenatural-minded, holistic.
(36:14):
Sometimes going to hospitalscan feel so intimidating,
especially if you are going tobe declining some of the
traditional things.
I personally find hospitals sointimidating.
How do you think, as someonethat has been on the other side
and also gets the frustration ofa parent where you're trying to
(36:35):
help them and they're not Right, what's a good way or tips for
moms or dads to navigate thatI'll stop there.
Yeah, I'll say even for me itis an anxiety that I have had
when I was working in thehospital.
I was not really holisticallyminded.
(36:56):
Maybe towards the very end Iwas starting to question things.
And I question now, ifsomething happened and my
husband was out of work orwhatever and I needed to get a
job like right away that was asteady job.
I didn't feel like starting upa business just quite yet what
would I do?
(37:16):
And if I ever had to go back tothe hospital, could my
conscience handle giving thesekids?
These medications that I nowknow have actually not been
studied for pediatrics.
They've maybe been consideredsafe in adults and they're used
in pediatrics very commonly, butthey also have quite
significant side effects thatare unrelated to this medication
(37:37):
that is used all the time,every day and given out like
candy.
I will say that I really likethe direction in general that
we're going with things.
We're starting to accept morevitamins, like that's a big
scary thing.
Vitamin C Wow, that's beenaround forever.
It shouldn't be this like weirdhippie thing and people are
(38:00):
being more open to supplementsand things like that.
Before turning to medication,there's a time and a place for
everything.
I'm not saying I'manti-medication because I'm not.
I am anti-treat every symptomwith a medication when we should
be looking for the root causeof things.
Healthcare in general, it is sorun by insurance companies, by
(38:23):
money, by what you were taughtin med school, and you just look
at the food in the hospital andyou see their mindset on
nutrition it doesn't matter, andI'm of the mindset that of the
complete opposite, that it iseverything.
Your diet is the buildingblocks for you are what you eat.
The beginning of this questionwas aimed at what moms do, what
(38:47):
parents do when they come intothe hospital setting and they
are overwhelmed by these optionsand obviously it depends on the
situation.
It depends on why you're there.
If you're there for a trauma,just do the hospital, let them
do their thing.
They are good at saving kids'lives in that situation.
If you have a chronic kid witha chronic health problem, that's
(39:10):
a different situation, becauseyou have time to look up these
medications.
These aren't changing every day.
These aren't a short-termmedication.
A lot of times for these kids,this is something they're going
to be on maybe for the rest oftheir life, and you have time to
find alternatives and thingslike that, and that's something
you can handle outpatient forthe most part.
If you're in a life-saving time.
You have an infection, takeantibiotics Okay to be crunchy
(39:34):
or holistic and go to thehospital and accept treatment
While you're there.
You can always learn more ifthere's a specific procedure or
whatever.
Keep learning.
How has your faith helped toguide these transitions?
And also, as you plan for thefuture, what role does that play
for you?
So I'm a believer in God and myfaith is everything.
(39:59):
It's the foundation of ourwhole lives, and that is
something that's easily lost inreal life dealing with a tantrum
or dealing with frustratedhusband or, you know, being
overstimulated and feelingover-touched, and so that is
something that every day, we arepraying and aiming towards
(40:20):
Christlikeness.
Obviously, it's not somethingwe can do on our own, and
without God's work on the cross,we have no hope for the future
in heaven, and that is whatgives us hope to continue to,
when everything in the worldseems to be going wrong, to not
give up and continue, because weknow the fight is more than
(40:41):
just about here and now.
It's about eternity, and I amamazed to think about people who
try to do all of this alone,without having God on their side
, to not just to talk to aboutthings with, but to also have as
an ally who is actually.
(41:01):
Prayer works.
Prayer is effective and healways answers.
He doesn't always say yes, hedoesn't always give us what we
want, even what seems fair.
Just because bad things happendoesn't mean God isn't good.
And that's hard in real life tomake with the death of a family
member or the loss of a job,but when it comes back down to
(41:22):
the baseline of doesn't matterwhat I feel.
It's about what I know to betrue, what God has told me.
I can be grounded in that.
I really love that.
I think that's a goodencouraging spot to end, because
I think that was true for metoo, that motherhood was the
thing that just drew me back toGod so much because it felt so
(41:44):
overwhelming, and so I cannotimagine doing motherhood on my
own.
So thank you so much for yourtime and for being so willing to
share about your journey.
I loved it.
For today's episode takeaways, Ihave six.
One your career is not youridentity.
Stepping away from a professionthat you've worked hard for can
(42:06):
feel like an identity crisis,but motherhood can open the door
to new callings and deeperpurpose.
Two perspective changeseverything.
Working with sick children gaveLauren compassion for parents,
but becoming a mom helped herreshape how she connected with
families in the hospital.
Three slow present living hasvalue, from homeschooling to
(42:31):
morning cuddles.
Choosing a slower pace allowsmore connection, creativity and
joy in the little years, sosavor it.
Four you can step into newroles.
Transitioning from hospitalnursing to becoming a doula
shows how skills and passionscan evolve into new ways of
serving and supporting others.
(42:53):
Five faith as a foundation.
When career paths shift ormotherhood feels overwhelming,
anchoring in faith providespeace, direction and strength to
keep going.
And lastly, it's okay tosimplify.
With many interests, ideas andpressures, sometimes the most
freeing choice is to focus onjust one small step at a time.
(43:14):
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
(43:35):
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode and if you
want to keep the conversationgoing.
Connect with me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A, c-o-t-o.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
(43:56):
dreams, it's just the beginning.
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