June 18, 2025 • 48 mins
Dr. Lyndsi Davenport—a physician, homeschooling mom, and woman of deep faith—whose story is a powerful reminder that motherhood isn’t the end of ambition, it’s the beginning of something deeper. Dr. Lyndsi left behind a thriving academic medical career at a major hospital to follow a calling she could no longer ignore.
Her story challenges the notion that motherhood limits professional success, showing instead how it can lead to more meaningful and purposeful work.
We discussed:
• Transitioning from hospital-based medicine to direct primary care
• Balancing early motherhood with demanding physician schedules
• Finding faith during career transitions and family building
• Understanding direct primary care's benefits for both doctors and patients
• Discovering hybrid homeschooling as a solution for working professionals
• Redefining success beyond traditional career achievements
• Taking the leap of faith to follow your calling despite fears
To learn more about Dr. Davenport, you can enroll as her patient at https://paradox.health/ or you can follow her on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/drlyndsidavenport/
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.
For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Emilia (00:00):
What if the biggest lie we've been told is that
motherhood will hold us backfrom a meaningful career?
In today's episode, I'm joinedby Dr Lindsay Davenport, a
physician, a homeschooling momand a woman of deep faith, whose
story is a powerful reminderthat motherhood isn't the end of
ambition.
It's the beginning of somethingdeeper.
Dr Lindsay left behind athriving academic medical career
(00:25):
at a major hospital to follow acalling she could no longer
ignore.
Her courage to trade prestigefor presence and hustle for
wholeness will leave yourethinking what's possible for
your own life.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
(00:46):
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
(01:08):
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
(01:28):
I want to talk about yourcareer in academic medicine and
what that looked like in thatseason.
What motivated you, how thatstarted.
Dr. Lyndsi (01:46):
Yeah.
So I have wanted to be a doctorsince I was about four or five
years old.
I told my mom that I wanted tobe a doctor and it's really just
been this lifelong dream if nota calling of mine, of like it
really felt like it was the onlything I was really supposed to
do on earth.
I guess, as far as like mycareer or my goal, I've always
wanted to be a physician, and sowhen my uncle was diagnosed
(02:11):
with cancer, I was 17 and he hadulcerative colitis really bad
and I ended up getting adiagnosis of Crohn's disease.
So we have a huge autoimmunityin our family and so that was
another motivator for me and Ioriginally wanted to be a
gastroenterologist, and so mylove for academia and research
came from all of that with ourfamily and our genetic links and
(02:32):
all of the autoimmune diseaseswe had in the family.
So that's how I decided onacademics and teaching, and then
, when I was in residency, youstart teaching in residency.
You have medical students andinterns underneath you and it's
our job, as we progress fromintern to second year to third
year, to teach your juniors, andI loved that, and so right
(02:55):
outside of residency, I prettymuch went right into teaching
Wow.
Emilia (02:58):
And you were at a major hospital for the start of your
career.
Dr. Lyndsi (02:59):
right yeah, at a major hospital for the start of
your career right, yeah, so nota large academic institution
like you think of University ofMichigan or Cleveland Clinic,
but it was a community teachinghospital.
So I was at Ascension Genesis,which is now Henry Ford.
That's where I did my third andfourth year of medical training
and then I did my residencythere and that's where I taught
(03:20):
and I worked there for a fewyears and then I became the
clinic director for internalmedicine at McLaren Oakland,
which is another local communityhospital.
That's a bigger teachinghospital.
So each of those facilities hasmedical students, multiple
different residencies, and wetook medical students from MDs,
dos and some of the Caribbeanschools, so we had a big
(03:41):
conglomerate of students andresidents to teach.
Emilia (03:44):
And how did you go about planning for kids
throughout that period?
When did you decide the timingwas right and how did your
beliefs about motherhood playinto that planning?
Dr. Lyndsi (03:55):
So originally, as I mentioned a couple minutes ago,
my plan was to be agastroenterologist, which is
another three years of trainingafter residency.
So you do four years of medicalschool, three years of internal
medicine residency and then afellowship would be another
three years, which is why Ichose internal medicine.
I actually loved the clinic andloved family medicine, but I
chose internal because that'show you specialize.
(04:17):
Internal medicine is like thebasis for specialties.
So during my residency is whenI met my husband and we started
dating during my intern year.
We got engaged during my secondyear and then we planned our
wedding, actually for my firstyear as an attending.
During this time of getting toknow him and thinking like gosh,
I am really ready to settledown and we wanted to start a
(04:38):
family pretty much right awaywhen we got married, I chose not
to go into gastroenterology.
I learned during my residencythat I was really meant for the
clinic.
I love outpatient.
I loved connecting with peopleand forming relationships and
really being able to be a familydoctor like a jack of all
trades.
You really can see people atall stages and ages of their
(04:59):
life and be a big advocate forthem, and I love to chat with
people and form thoserelationships.
So that's how my career shifteda little bit, even right from
the beginning, thinking about Iwant to start a family and I
don't want to do another threeyears of training, yeah, Wow.
Emilia (05:14):
And then so, when do you?
How does maternity leave andall of that work in the role
that you were in?
And did you?
How did you plan?
For example, did, did you?
Did you plan that your son wasgoing to go to daycare after did
you get a nanny?
How does that all?
Dr. Lyndsi (05:30):
work, so our story is a little bit unique in that
way.
So when I we got married in2017 so that was my first year
as an attending I was turning 31that summer and then I got
pregnant pretty much like twomonths after our wedding, so it
was quicker than we anticipated.
(05:50):
Being in medicine, you hear allthe time, oh, infertility.
Infertility for womenphysicians is so high you should
even like freeze your eggs anddelay, and it's crazy that the
narrative that we're taught inmedicine from the beginning of,
like you're going to have tooutsource, you're not going to
be that present for your baby,you should.
I already had in my mind like,okay, I chose this career.
I spent my entire 20s chasingthis dream and I am going to
(06:15):
miss things in my kids' lives,and that was just the
realization that I had just cometo terms with.
So when we started to try andat that time I was working in
academics so our lives were alittle bit different my husband
had a full time desk job.
We had a dog, so like he wouldgo to doggy daycare, but we
didn't have a lot of otherresponsibilities, and so there
were days and weeks where Iworked seven days and that is
(06:38):
what I went back to frommaternity leave with my son.
I went back to a hospitalseven-day shift.
So maternity leave as aninternal medicine working for
the hospital, we get six weeksfor a vaginal delivery and eight
weeks for a C-section.
Because of my Crohn's disease Idid have a C-section, so I got
that extra two weeks and then Iactually used some PTO to take
10 weeks total.
(06:59):
But that was almost evendiscouraged.
We have to use all of our PTOin the hospital per year, like
short-term disability, beforeyou can even like take any FMLA.
So all of that was just new tome of like, okay, how much
unpaid leave and do I reallywant to burn all my PTO?
As a new mom who I'm going tohave a baby who might get sick
and then if I have no PTO Ican't take vacation, I can't
(07:19):
take any sick days.
So we decided to leave some ofmy PTO and go back at 10 weeks,
which was so hard.
You get that first one.
Emilia (07:28):
I can tell yeah.
Dr. Lyndsi (07:29):
And childcare was really nice, though.
My mom had arranged to watchour children, so she was ready
and had stepped back as her roleas a physical therapy assistant
and came in and worked fourdays a week for me, and then my
mother-in-law did a day, so wehad family to watch our baby, so
he didn't have to go to daycare.
Emilia (07:46):
Wow, can you share what was it like to go back with an
infant that young, and did youhave any fears about your baby
getting sick?
There's just so many things atthat age.
Dr. Lyndsi (07:59):
Yeah.
So the nice thing was that hewas at home, so that was always
comforting to me.
But at that time we lived inRochester and I drove to Grand
Blanc or Flint every day, so Ihad almost an hour drive.
So there were days when,especially for those hospital
shifts, I would get up and leaveand pump and leave a bottle and
not even see him in the morning.
And then on a long clinic dayor a long rounding day, I would
(08:21):
get home at 7 or 8 pm and hewould already be in bed.
So I remember just likesneaking into his bedroom while
he was asleep and like cryingand dream feeding him, because I
didn't get to see him all day.
So it was really tough.
Again, I was comforted that wehad our family to take care of
him, but it was a very hardtransition.
I had so much guilt and it's atime where I felt like, okay,
(08:42):
I'm a physician and I wantedthis, but I don't love this
anymore.
I felt very burnt out.
You feel like you're burningthe candle on both ends and like
I didn't have the time, like Imissed him rolling over for the
first time and all those thingsthat you want to be there for
with your baby.
I didn't worry about sicknessas much just because I'm an
internist and so we don't see alot of kiddos.
(09:03):
Because I'm an internist and sowe don't see a lot of kiddos
being in the hospital.
I saw more of like heartfailure and strokes and AFib and
infections, but more likebacterial infections that put
someone in the ICU.
So it was a little bitdifferent in that regard, but it
was very tough.
And then I had a lot of pushbackfrom my pump breaks.
So being in the clinic, so theway that my job worked is I
(09:26):
spent three weeks every month inthe clinic and one week in the
hospital.
So when I was in the officethere were residents that were
depending on me and so my pumpbreaks were kind of like I was
expected to work during thattime and I remember not being
able to even get a lot of outputin those first couple of weeks
because I was trying to like donotes and take phone calls and
staff patients while I'm pumpingand I really had to advocate
for, like you know what, nope, Ineed 30 minutes to myself in
(09:49):
this room with no interruptions.
And my boss was a female andshe had babies and she breastfed
.
So it was very frustrating toget pushed back on like needing
that time, but that's the waythat it worked out and it all
worked out.
It was a very busy time.
I wasn't working out, I wasjust kind of like surviving.
At that point my son did a lotof I think they call it reverse
(10:11):
cycling, where they want tonurse all night long because
they miss you, and so he wouldbe awake every one to two hours
for the first six months of hislife nursing, and so it was just
a very sleep deprived,challenging time for that first
year.
That's so hard but also so sweetthat he was still figured out
how to get that yes, how to gethis time with mommy I was
(10:33):
talking to my residents and wewere doing management for an
infection and anyway, I toldthem the wrong antibiotic, like
one that we would never use, andI'm like oh my gosh, that's
wrong.
I think I knew it was wrong,but I was so tired that I
couldn't even.
So it was, it was, they werelong, long days At what point?
Emilia (10:52):
or was there any?
Was there?
Was it a long period ofreflection of you thinking I'm
going to make a shift from this,or was there a moment where you
said no after this, for example, that where you would say I'm
going to shift the way that mycareer is going to a life that I
can enjoy more?
Not that you weren't enjoyinglife, but I guess spending more
(11:15):
time with your kid yeah.
Dr. Lyndsi (11:16):
So it took a while.
So when my son was one I gotpregnant with our daughter and
then that's when I transitionedto McClaren Oakland.
So that new job was clinicdirector.
It was 100% outpatient, whichpromised more quality of life.
So when you're rounding in thehospital once a month, that
could be that's weekends.
I was on call a lot.
That would also be holidays,depending.
(11:38):
We all had to take our turn andso I thought that doing that
next transition, it kept me inacademics.
I actually, when my daughterturned one, I did an academic
medicine fellowship.
So my mind was still very muchon staying in academics.
It's what I had focused on mywhole life.
I loved to teach and I thoughtpivoting to 100% outpatient role
(11:58):
that would give me what I waslooking for.
And so right before she I hiredin.
When I was pregnant with her,about five months before she was
born, and originally that wasgreat.
I loved the lifestyle.
It was nine to five, Sometimeswe were even done at two or
three.
I had my weekends off, I didn'thave any holiday call, and so
it felt a little more likebalance.
(12:19):
But then corporate medicine isvery tough and so the more you
give, the more they take, and itjust felt like there was never
enough, right?
I was supposed to have eighthours of admin time, but that
got eaten up and that could beat home.
That could be my kid flex thattime, however I wanted.
And so for me I wanted that tobe I work four days and I have
one day at home, and that wasjust never how it worked out.
And so then your day of clinicturns into 12 to four and you're
(12:43):
like, okay, your half day ofclinic turns into 12 to 4.
And you're like, okay, that'snot really.
Or 9 to 4, you're like that'snot really a half day.
I got an hour early and so theyended up getting rid of my
partner and I was running aresidency clinic by myself with
15 training doctors plus all ofthe medical students, and that's
when I was like I just can'tsustain this.
And then COVID hit during thattime, and so it really opened my
(13:05):
eyes to some of the bigshortcomings and failures in
modern medicine, of I wasbasically told that primary care
isn't important.
They furloughed our office,completely, shut it down for
four weeks.
So the nice thing was I got allthat time with my kids, but I
was asked to work for free, Likethey're like you can't come in
but you still have to take careof your patients, and at that
(13:25):
time we were on paper charts.
It was just a nightmare, and sothat was the turning point for
me where I was like somethinghas got to change.
And so in that was in 2020,into 2021.
And then I in 2021 is when Ireached out to my now partner,
Dr Hellman.
I had been talking to myhusband a lot about direct
primary care.
I now partner Dr Hellman.
I had been talking to myhusband a lot about direct
(13:45):
primary care.
I think this really fits.
It's a newer model of medicineand it's basically like
affordable concierge medicineand we can talk about that a
little bit more.
But that was where I was like Ithink I want to make this
transition and it took a littlewhile of like having the thought
it was like all from like themiddle of 2020.
I didn't make that leap untillike the end of 2021.
(14:07):
So it was like over a year ofme hearing this calling from God
and this like you should be athome more.
This is what we need to do.
But it took me a while toactually obey and listen to that
call.
Emilia (14:17):
What were the biggest fears or barriers that you felt
in making that transition?
Dr. Lyndsi (14:22):
Well, one is I felt like I was giving up on a
lifelong dream.
Right, I had always wanted tobe academic.
I had spent money and time todo the fellowship I loved to
teach and I felt a lot of guiltleaving my patients and my
students and my residents.
That was really hard to walkaway from, that something that I
worked so hard for for so long,and I also had a lot of fear of
the unknown.
Direct primary care wasbasically like an eat what you
(14:44):
kill model, and so I was goingto take a very big pay cut.
But at the end of the day itcame down to like what is your
time worth?
Right, when do you want to beand what fills your cup?
And how can you make afulfilling career in medicine,
work around your goals and plansand motherhood, and this was
(15:05):
just the way that I just I can'tsay anything other than like it
was just the Lord telling melike this is what you need to do
.
And so my husband was also verynervous, but it just worked out
that he had a new job.
He had been a consultantstarting right around the time
that our son was born.
He had a work from homeconsulting job.
So he did travel, but he washome a lot and he had just
gotten a raise, and so thetiming worked out perfect.
I'm like OK, I think we can dothis.
(15:26):
I didn't have to take out anyloans to join the practice that
I did, and so I was like allright, we're just going to take
this leap of faith and I'm goingto be obedient and listen and
see where that takes us, and ithas been the best transition.
I'm so happy.
Emilia (15:45):
It's funny when you actually just like listen to
what the Lord is calling you todo, how things just fall into
place Totally.
And for someone that might notbe familiar with what direct
primary care is, because Ihadn't heard of it until a
couple years ago, can you tellus about what it's like and
specifically how it works?
Dr. Lyndsi (15:57):
Yeah, so direct primary care is in the easiest
way, like affordable conciergemedicine, and so our patients
pay a monthly membership fee.
They have unlimited access tous.
They can text, call, stop in,come and get fizzy water from
the office or whatever, andthat's all included in their
membership.
We also have wholesalepharmaceuticals in the office,
so we have a pharmacy of allgeneric medication.
(16:18):
So if you're sick, we alwayshave same day visits or maybe
next day, but you come in we canput an ultrasound on you
instead of sending you for anx-ray and then you leave with
your antibiotic, and soeverything is like a one-stop
shop.
We try to do a lot morepersonalized medicine and we
have a lot more time with ourpatients because our panels are
much smaller.
So we don't accept insurance,it's all cash-based.
And because I don't acceptinsurance, I don't have to deal
(16:42):
with all of the priorauthorizations and oh, you must
put this in your note forbilling and all of the like.
See 30 to 40 patients a day.
That was happening to me in thesystem.
I got to have an hour with mynew patients instead of 15
minutes.
I could actually practicepreventive medicine and weight
loss and exercise and nutritionand all of the things that I'm
so passionate about and whatfills my cup in medicine that I
(17:04):
couldn't do in, especially in aresidency clinic where most of
our patients are Medicare orMedicaid and they're so sick and
they're so medicallyunderserved that like they don't
even know what a carbohydrate,protein and fat is and I don't
have the time to explain it tothem and it just felt like I was
constantly just like drowningin that system.
So DPC really allows you thefreedom and the flexibility to
increase the quality of carethat you provide to your
(17:25):
patients, because you have moretime and you mentioned that
you're passionate about women'shealth and preventative care and
exercise, so I've experiencedit myself as being your patient.
But also can you share a littlebit about some of the things
that you are able to work withyour patients that in a
(17:46):
traditional insurance modelwould be very difficult to do
and their beliefs and formulatea plan that's like okay, here we
can go through and calculatewhat your intake should be, as
(18:08):
far as how many grams of fat andprotein and carbs, and what do
you like to do for workouts andhow can we maximize your time
and we can just get to know eachother on such a deeper level
and I have the time to formulateplans and focus on all of those
little tiny aspects where, like, sure, we want wanna do that in
the conventional model, but Iwould have 15 to 20 minutes and
half of that visit is taken upby the medical assistant rooming
(18:30):
the patient and getting vitals.
And then I have five, 10minutes to be like okay, how you
doing?
Oh, yep, your diabetes is notgreat.
Well, here's a handout onnutrition that I'd like you to
read and I'll see you next month.
Right, there was not that timeto be like what is a day-to-day
diet look like, whereas now Ican sit down and be like okay,
walk me through a day, what isyour schedule like and what are
your preferences and what do youlike to eat and how can we work
(18:52):
with your current situation tomake it work for you?
Because I think that that thatis the, the holy grail of making
long-term change right.
It's like being able to takeand meet somebody where they are
and make that work for theirlife.
Because if I put you on a diet,anybody can give you a diet,
but if it's not something thatyou like or it's not something
(19:13):
that works for you, you're notgoing to follow it right.
So I think that is just thebigger the opportunity, like I
also have the time to be able todive into things that I'm
passionate about.
That we weren't taught inmedical school.
So nutrition and exercise andosteoporosis treatment and
hormone replacement andmenopause, perimenopause none of
that was with the focus of mytraining.
I had to educate myself on allof that, and so now that I have
(19:37):
extra time, I can listen topodcasts and read books and do
all that research that I need todo to be able to offer the best
practices to my patients.
Emilia (19:44):
And now it sounds like it's the best of both worlds
because you can offer so much toyour patients, and it sounds
like you're also able to offerso much more for your kids and
for your family and to be athome more.
So what is a typical week andhow do you balance?
Are you working full time hours, still part time?
(20:05):
How do you make it all work?
Dr. Lyndsi (20:06):
So technically I am, I guess I would say, full time.
We don't really get paid by thehour like I used to, you know,
and have to have a salary like a40 to 60 hour work week.
So my schedule right now I workon Monday and Thursday the full
day because my kiddos are in ahybrid homeschool program which
(20:27):
I think we'll talk about.
So I work the full day whilethey're in school and then on
Tuesday and Wednesday I workhalf days and I spend the
mornings with them doing theirschooling.
And I take Fridays off most ofthe time Now because I am
available to my patients viatext email.
Sometimes I will have work to doon those times where I'm quote
unquote off, but it's sorewarding because if I need to,
(20:48):
I can we.
We use Calendly as a schedulingand so I can set my hours for
whatever, like if I need to beoff early for a day to go to a
program at my kiddo's school, orif they have a doctor's
appointment, it's very easy forme to just block that time and
not schedule a patient duringthat time, and it hasn't been a
problem at all.
All of my patients are lovelyand I they really have just been
(21:09):
so understanding of my need anddesire to be a present mom and
I have so much more time with mykids.
I never, ever thought If youwould have told me when my son
was born seven years ago that Iwould be in the position that
I'm at today, I would havelaughed in your face Like I
never thought this kind offreedom and flexibility was
possible with a medical career.
Do you think?
Emilia (21:27):
that doctors that are, because I know the direct
primary care model is growingmore and more.
Do you think that people thatare graduating from school now
know that that's a viable option, or do you think it's still
something that is harder to find, that you have to search it out
like you did to go into that?
Dr. Lyndsi (21:46):
I think it's definitely growing in popularity
and visibility.
The Direct Primary CareAlliance, dpca, is the kind of
like governing board that we allthey put on our conferences and
everything, and they're doing areally good job of reaching out
to medical students andresidents and saying, hey,
there's another way you don'thave to be a pin in the cogwheel
of just like turning outpatients for insurance profit
Because you're really workingfor a big brother at that point.
(22:08):
Right Like you, nobody in thesystem gets to practice exactly
the way they want to and thereare some specialties and careers
where that's not completely thecase.
Right, but even like my OBGYN,I had my visit with her last
week and she's like I literallydon't get to practice medicine.
I'm told what to do and how todo my job by hospital
administrators and insurancecompanies and it's really taken
(22:32):
a lot of the art out of thepractice of medicine and so I
know that a lot of specialty.
It is harder to break into thisas a specialist because,
especially for surgicalsubspecialties, right Like
patients, when they already haveinsurance, have a hard time
swallowing the pill of.
Like ooh, I would pay cash fora procedure that my insurance
would otherwise cover.
But I think.
Once people start to realizewhat a scam traditional health
(22:54):
insurance is, they start toreally value paying for higher
value and higher quality carelike a direct primary care
physician.
Emilia (23:02):
Yeah, that was one of the things that attracted me the
most to the practice that itwasn't insurance run, because we
had traditional insurance forthe birth of my first and then
we had health sharing for thesecond one, like a Christian
health sharing, and it was sucha different I felt there was so
much more autonomy and beingable to choose providers, how I
(23:24):
wanted to be cared for duringthat time, even though I ended
up in the hospital with ahospital birth.
Dr. Lyndsi (23:29):
So absolutely Like, I have patients that come in and
they're like I was paying a$10,000 deductible and $2,000 a
month for my marketplaceinsurance because they're a
small business owner.
And then they find out oh,there's a DPC health care option
.
Oh, I have this option to offerdirect primary care to my
employees.
Oh, I can do a health share andpour into this and share into
(23:49):
this ministry with othercitizens, instead of throwing my
money away into this biginsurance company.
So once people realize thatthat exists, I think it really
does change their dynamic andtheir thinking of traditional
insurance and health care ingeneral.
But there's a way to go untilit's mainstream for sure.
Emilia (24:07):
What led your family to choose homeschooling?
It's mainstream for sure.
What led your family to choosehomeschooling?
And I'm curious if it wassomething after you were in this
model, or if you, for example,when you were at the hospital,
were you still planning tohomeschool at the time, and how
was that going to work?
Dr. Lyndsi (24:20):
Yeah, so my schooling was something I
started to think about from avery young age with my son,
which is silly.
When we first had kids, I wasstill very much in that
education is so important and wewanted the best.
I actually toured his firstpreschool when he was 18 months
old.
Isn't that ridiculous?
Emilia (24:38):
I can identify.
Dr. Lyndsi (24:39):
Well, my husband and I are very high achievers.
I'm a physician, he is amechanical engineer that does
nuclear, and so we're both veryeducated people and we value
that.
But the more we started tolearn about the traditional
education system, and thenespecially having a boy and I
know that sounds so cliche butmy son is very different than my
daughters.
(24:59):
I have a son who's seven, and Ihave a five-year-old daughter
and a two-year-old daughter, andmy girls will sit and color and
look at a book and beentertained that way for a while
, and my son just needs morephysical movement.
He doesn't vibe well with justthings, and so from the very
beginning we were looking forsomething that would offer a
(25:19):
challenging academic situation,and in the beginning homeschool
was not even a thought.
We were going to always pursueprivate education, and so we had
started looking into optionslike that.
So my son actually got intoRoper for preschool, which is a
school for gifted kiddos, andthat was our plan.
And then, I don't know, I justhad this like wake up moment of
(25:40):
like I don't think this is right, this is not a good fit for us,
and so, right before he wassupposed to go, we enrolled him
in our parish preschool at StJoseph in Lake Orion and that
was a godsend.
He thrived there.
He did so well.
We just did two half days whenhe was three and then three full
days when he was four, and thenmy daughter also did preschool
(26:00):
there.
And so Catholic education wasour focus at the point when they
had first started.
Because I worked full time andeven though I liked the idea of
homeschooling, I was like Ican't, I can't make that work.
And so our, our, our focus waslike okay, at least they're,
they're getting their formationand their catechism and they're
in this group of like I like thereligious aspect in their
(26:22):
schooling focused on.
And then when my son was inkindergarten it was horrible.
So I don't know if my son isgifted or not.
It doesn't really matter to us.
We've never had him tested, butI've had pediatricians and
teachers tell me that heprobably is.
He's very smart.
But along that line comes a lotof challenges sometimes.
(26:43):
So those kiddos are very easilyfrustrated.
They have perfectionisttendencies.
They don't do well when thingsdon't go their way and he has a
hard time, like when he's bored.
He was a five-year-old boy rightLike he wanted to play and he
wanted to interact with hispeers and so he would get done
with his work and then he wouldjust be sitting around getting
in trouble.
(27:04):
So kindergarten was terrible.
Within the first three weeks ofkindergarten we were told by
the principal that it might notbe at the school for us.
Now, mind you, this is thechurch that my husband was
baptized in, confirmed in, didhis Holy Communion, like
everything.
We have been going to thischurch forever, and so to have
the new principal say that aboutmy five-year-old boy three
weeks into school, that's wheneverything changed.
(27:26):
I basically I struggled to keephim in that year.
We he had his tonsils out inJanuary and I was going to pull
him in January and just figureit out, but we ended up sticking
out the year.
And so throughout that firstyear when he was in kindergarten
is when I started really deepdiving into home education.
That is when I had already madethe transition.
So I was working direct primarycare but I was still working my
(27:48):
academic medicine job part-timeso that I had some income while
my DPC practice grew.
So work was actually still verybusy at that point because I
was working in two offices.
So yeah, I did a lot ofresearch that year when he was
in kindergarten, and we did alot of soul searching and found
classical Catholic homeschooleducation with a hybrid model
(28:09):
that just fit perfectly with ourlife.
Emilia (28:12):
What surprised you the most once you found the hybrid,
first of all, for people thataren't familiar with how a
hybrid homeschooling setup works, can you go over that?
And then also what you've lovedabout it and maybe any
challenges as well.
Dr. Lyndsi (28:25):
Yeah, so homeschooling at first felt very
daunting because I was like,how do I pick a curriculum and
what am I going to do when Iwork and what are my options?
And so I started to do researchand I joined Facebook groups
and mom groups and just startedasking questions and looking at
curriculums and I'm also prettytype A.
So it was like what if I makethe wrong choice?
But then I realized if I makethe wrong choice, then we can
(28:48):
just, we can pivot, we can makea different choice, right.
There really wasn't like itwasn't as serious as I was
making it out to be, as far aslike making a mistake, right.
So we looked seriously intohybrids.
I had looked at a couple thatwere more secular and the thing
that really turned me off fromthat is that they followed a lot
of public school curriculum andthat was always a no-go for us.
(29:11):
It's very important to me thatmy kids have that theological
background and the formation intheir education.
I don't really agree with someof the principles that are being
taught in public school andthat's just a very personal
choice for us, but I didn't wantthat as part of their education
.
So that really turned me off.
And then, actually, one of mypatients mentioned hey, we do a
(29:31):
homeschool hybrid and it'sclassical and it's Catholic and
we're doing a tour next week andyou should come.
And I walked into that buildingand just felt the Holy Spirit
and I told my husband I was likethis is it?
This is where we're meant to beI just know I'm getting teary
even talking about it, but like,this is where God meant us to
be and it has just been theperfect role for our family.
(29:54):
So hybrid education means thatour kids go to school too, and
hybrids are slightly different.
They're either two or threedays a week, so for us it's two
days and then the wholecurriculum is planned out.
Our hybrid is nationallyrecognized and accredited.
It's all over the country, andso they will graduate with an
(30:16):
accredited diploma.
It goes from pre-K-3 all theway through 12th grade, and so
this is something that we cancontinue for their whole life.
And it is classical learningcertified, and so the kiddos
take the classical learningexams instead of like the, even
like the Catholic I don'tremember I think it was star
testing that they did at theCatholic school.
So it has an emphasis onSocratic method, discussion,
(30:37):
English literature and the arts,they learn Latin.
It had everything that I waslooking for, but it also gives
me the ability to do both, so Iget to work and be present with
my patients when my kids are inschool and then, because of my
job and the flexibility I havein the office, I get to be fully
present with them in themornings and do their schoolwork
.
And what surprised me the mostwas the amount of time that it
(30:59):
took.
That was one of the mostdaunting things is like how do I
fit all of this education whenyou think about, my son was in
kindergarten from 8 in themorning until 4 pm and so little
of that is actually spent oneducation.
There's so much wasted time andthey can only teach to the
brightest, to the bottom of thebarrel, right, Like they teach
to the basic minimum.
And so there was.
(31:24):
So it was so eye-opening where,like we would sit down with a
curriculum and we could do ourmath and our reading and our
phonics and the big basic stuffand his religion and be done in
an hour, hour and a half and westill had time to just play.
So I have little feral freerange kids who are running
around on our property now andplaying, and we spend about an
hour to two hours a day onschool.
Emilia (31:43):
It's amazing how did they adjust?
Because I've heard thatsometimes when they start in the
more traditional model and thenswitch, there can be a bit of
an adjustment period.
How did you?
Was it easy because they wereso young, or how did that go?
Dr. Lyndsi (32:00):
Yeah, my son definitely had the biggest
transition, I would say, becausehe had done a full year in
kindergarten.
The thing that he missed themost was just the other things
of school, right, like he missedgoing to the library and recess
with his friends.
The one downside to our hybridprogram is that most Catholic
churches have their own schooland so we do our hybrid at a
Baptist church.
(32:20):
It's beautiful, the facility isgreat, but there is no
playground and so it's not atraditional school, right.
So he did miss that aspect oflike the specials and going out
for recess and things and havinga bigger class, because the
homeschool hybrids are innatelysmaller, so there's only eight
kiddos in his class.
But he has adjustedphenomenally.
We love the families and theteachers at our school are other
(32:42):
homeschooling mamas and so,like his teacher, this year she
has 10 kids.
She is fantastic.
She's just like the ultimatemom and she was so great with my
son Last year.
We had a behavioral folder andhe was always in trouble and I
feel like he just had, like thisred X on his back of like from
the very beginning they werejust out for him and I know that
that probably alteredperception on my part just
because of like how I felt inyou you become mama bear with
(33:05):
your kiddo, but this year wedidn't get one single problem.
He didn't, he survived and Ijust it has just been the best
for us.
So he did have a little bit ofa transition, just like missing
some of that after schoolactivities and things that we
had in the traditional schoolsetting.
But with the hybrid they loveto be at home, they love that
they have more free time, theyget to sleep in multiple days a
(33:26):
week and at our hybrid programwe still have specials, so there
are still like new music, theydo Latin, like I said, they do
PE and they do drama, and sothey still have their afternoon
filled with like kind of thespecials that they would have
gotten at school or traditionalschool.
Emilia (33:45):
And I can only imagine the friendships that are going
to form with having the smallerclasses and having the values
that are also shared amongst thefamilies as well.
Dr. Lyndsi (33:55):
So we are surrounded with families and, for me,
women who are on the samejourney.
There's actually other twoother physician moms One is a
naturopathic doctor and one isan OBGYN who are doing this too,
and so to meet otherprofessionals who are in the
same field.
We all have the same values andI know that when I drop my kids
(34:17):
off there, that they are safeand they are loved and they are
cared for and it's just yeah,it's the best feeling having
that community.
Emilia (34:24):
You shared that motherhood deepened your
relationship with Christ.
I was wondering if you couldshare about what that has looked
like in your life, Because itsounds like from the beginning
you were already on that pathbecause you were looking for a
Catholic education.
But if you could just sharewhat that has looked like for
you.
Dr. Lyndsi (34:42):
So I've always been Christian.
I was raised going to churchand I had a very strong faith as
a child and even like into highschool I would take.
Some of my dual enrollment timewas with Bible study and I was
always in youth group and allthat.
And then college is a time oftransition for most people, I
think, and I never stoppedbelieving, but I definitely was
(35:04):
not active in my faith,especially during medical school
, and that was a time where Ijust I could feel that void.
When you stray away from Christand you're like, okay, I know
that I'm like not not living,you just feel like something is
missing.
And yeah, my husband also.
So he's a cradle Catholic.
He was raised Catholic and wentthrough confirmation and
(35:25):
everything, and then he also hadgotten away from the church.
He was a nuclear engineer, sohe was traveling all over the
country all the time and so hedidn't even have a home really.
So he didn't have a home,parish or anything, he was just
all over the place.
And so after our marriage iswhen I was like I just feel like
something is missing.
And so that's when we turnedback to the church and started
to go back to church, and Iactually am not Catholic yet.
(35:47):
That is something that I'vebeen praying on a lot, but I
knew that Warren was raised thatway and I love the deep
traditions and the values thatare in the Catholic church and
we are very pro-life, and so itjust the more I prayed on it, I
was like, okay, I think thisfits, like I had been thinking
about doing conversion and so Iactually am signed up to start
my OCIA conversion in Septemberof this year.
(36:09):
It's a commitment that I'vebeen thinking about for a few
years.
You have to go every week and Ihad three little kids and a
traveling husband, so it's likeI don't know if I'm going to
make that work.
But as I became a mother, Irealized that it is just.
It went from being like, oh,work is my main focus and my
calling and my role is, like Imentioned earlier, was to be a
(36:33):
physician, and after I had mychildren I was like motherhood
does not take away.
It didn't make me less of aphysician, it didn't make me
less of a woman.
It fulfills me in a way that Ihave never, ever been fulfilled
before and this is my highestcalling.
Like that is what I wasactually put here to do and
(36:53):
everything else needs to besecond around that.
And so once I started to putGod first again and really give
the stress and everything awayand, just like, make prayer a
focus, my entire life changedfor the better.
I have so much less stress, likeI mentioned earlier, about
being obedient and making thechange with my career, and then
(37:14):
the homeschooling thing I feltlike was another calling.
And once I just followed theLord's guidance of like this is
what you're supposed to be doing, like I just I couldn't ignore
it.
It was like that voice, thatnagging voice in your head of
like you need to do this, youneed to do this, you need to do
this, you need to do this, youneed to do this, and I couldn't
explain it to my husband in anyother way of like this is God
(37:35):
talking to me, like we need todo this.
And since I have, like I'mtelling you it's a complete 180.
I'm the happiest that I'veliterally ever been.
I mean, obviously we still haveour stresses and motherhood can
be trying and homeschooling isalso sometimes very frustrating
when the kids don't want tolisten to you because you're
their mother, not their teacher.
When I wake up with gratitude,like I can find good in every
single day all the time becauseI wake up and I give it to God
(37:55):
right, like I can pray on that Ican.
If I'm having a bad day, likehe can turn it around.
And it's so fun to share thatwith my kids too, like they're
getting their faith formation inschool and we also just get to
be.
You know we have that as afamily.
I take them to mass a lot onFriday mornings.
That's the one that's gearedmore towards kiddos, and so it's
(38:16):
just it's so awesome to seetheir little relationships.
Like our two year old isstarting to learn the sign of
the cross and she'll start tosay her blessings.
And the other day she didsomething and she was like
praise God, and it's just.
Emilia (38:28):
It's been just the best to to come back and hearing you
speak, I can relate so muchbecause it's similar.
I felt that going through lawschool.
It was also really hammered intothink about if you have girls
and they say that if you'reraised by by a working mom, then
your child is more likely to bea high achiever too, and it
(38:52):
seemed like such an importantthing.
But the way that you're livingyour life and the way that I've
chosen to structure my practice,I feel like that's more
fulfilling.
That's more, at least for mepersonally.
That has been my experiencethat I don't want the example to
be that you have to outsource alot of things that bring you
joy in your life, and motherhoodis one of those For me.
(39:16):
It sounds like it is for you aswell, and it's something that
the example that you were ableto give your kids.
Now I feel like it's so specialand it's so.
It took risk and you had toleave the traditional path, but
it just sounds like it's goingto be something that you can't
(39:36):
just tell someone, that theyhave to experience it, and your
kids are going to grow up livingthat way and being able to
imagine that for themselvesbetter than if you hadn't made
those choices.
Dr. Lyndsi (39:47):
Yeah, it's amazing again to see just the shift that
I have made in my personal andprofessional and faith journey
from 2017, when I was pregnantwith my son, to now.
It's so special to be able tohave that time with them and
they're only little what's, andyou feel it too as the mom.
It's just different.
I can't imagine not having thatconnection that I do with my
(40:12):
kiddos.
I'm the preferred parent forall three of my children and
that comes with a lot of its ownrisk and reward, because you
know when they're hurt andthey're scared and they're sad,
they want their mom, but it'sthe best feeling to be able to
be that for them.
And I just feel like my cup isfull in all of the ways.
I get to focus on myself andhave time to exercise, but also
(40:33):
give my full self to them andhave time with my patients.
And I just never thought that Iwould have this completeness in
life and I definitely would nothave had that if I wouldn't
have listened to the Lord andmade the switch and I could have
ignored that voice that wastelling me you don't have to
stay in corporate medicine.
I could have stayed and voicethat was telling me like you
(40:57):
don't have to stay in corporatemedicine, like I could have
stayed and just been burnt outand miserable and spent no time
with my kids and I'm so thankfulthat he kind of like picked me
up and put me on this path thatI'm supposed to be on.
Emilia (41:02):
What would you say to the woman who believes that she
has to choose between ameaningful career and being
present for her children,between a meaningful career and
being present for her children?
How would you help this personthat's considering both paths
discern what the right?
Dr. Lyndsi (41:17):
path is for them.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingfor me was praying on it and
giving it to God, but I alsothink that it starts with
rejecting what society tells youthat a woman is, or what
society tells you that you haveto be.
I think the biggest lie thathas been fed, and the biggest
gaslight, I guess, of women hasbeen that, like you, can't be a
good mom and have a fulfillingvocation outside of your home,
(41:39):
and if your calling is that yourvocation is inside your home,
right, making that choice andjust being like this is what's
best for us at this time, and mebeing here to raise my own
children is where I'm supposedto be.
That's okay too.
And so walking away from whatsociety has told you you have to
be, I think it's just somethingthat you have to be okay with.
But that's the first step.
(42:00):
I had to be okay with walkingaway from a fellowship that I
did from years and years andyears of preparation for a
career, and I didn't give up mycareer completely, but I had to
walk in faith of making thischange is going to work for us
and for my family, and I hadthat faith, and then you have to
be willing to just be flexibleand pivot if things don't go
your way and just trust thatit's all perfect in God's time.
(42:22):
Because if I would have triedto make this transition before I
did, I don't think it wouldhave worked out the way that it
did.
So just everything is perfectin God's time.
Emilia (42:37):
Just listen to that voice and have the faith, I
think, is the biggest thing.
I was thinking that I wasthinking what you said before
you said it about how perfectGod's timing always is and how
he's always ahead of before weeven know what we need.
He's ahead of you and I thinkthat that's one of the best
things about living in faith isthat you have this guidance from
the Holy Spirit that can gobefore you and prepare the way.
(42:57):
How do you define success todaycompared to five or 10 years
ago?
Dr. Lyndsi (43:02):
Oh gosh.
So five or 10 years ago,success would have been being a
program director, speaking atnational conferences, having
some publications under my belt,and I probably would have had a
way less relationship with mychildren.
Now success to me is being ableto wake up in the morning and
feel like I am living out apurpose, and that purpose is to
(43:22):
be able to connect and changethe lives of my patients and
being able to raise littlesoldiers of Jesus and being able
to be there and connect withthem.
I have time for all of thepassions that I want.
I think being successful is amuch different definition for me
now.
Like success is more about whoI'm raising and the legacy I'm
(43:45):
leaving behind in them than likewhat I'm able to do on my own
or like what my professionalaccolades are.
Emilia (43:52):
Any last encouragement that you would want to give for
women navigating theprofessional ambition and also a
desire for a slower, morefaith-filled family life?
Dr. Lyndsi (44:04):
I think just really preying on what it is that you
want and having faith that it'llwork out, and taking the leap,
that was the biggest thing forme.
I was very fearful, it was veryscary, and I was walking in this
path that I felt like, oh mygosh, this could all blow up in
my face.
I'm giving up a six-figuresalary and I could list off all
the reasons why I shouldn't doit, but I couldn't ignore the
(44:25):
voice, and so I think like ifyou have that calling and you
feel like you're drowning andyou can't, I felt like I was
constantly burning the candle atboth ends, and so now I never
feel like that.
I have this kind of likeperfect balance that I've been
able to find, and again, notthat there's not stress, but
being able to give it to God andreally just take that leap of
faith.
I think faith is the word thatI want to leave everyone with is
(44:48):
, if you have that faith andwalk in that faith, know that if
God puts it before you and youfeel like it's supposed to be
where you're going, I think thatthat's probably a good thing to
give into and listen to and beobedient to Thank you.
Emilia (45:00):
That's so encouraging, and for people that are local in
Rochester and want to becomeyour patient, or if there's a
doctor that wants to connectwith you, what's the best way
for people to connect with you?
Dr. Lyndsi (45:12):
You can check out our website.
It's paradoxhealth.
I have an Instagram, but it'sreally just.
I kind of share my runningjourney and my sourdough and
homeschooling stuff.
There's not a lot of medicineon there, but every once in a
while I'll pop in when thingsare roughing my feathers.
So my Instagram is at DrLindsay Davenport and then you
could always reach out via email, which is Lindsay at Paradox
(45:34):
Health.
Thank you so much.
Emilia (45:36):
Dr Lindsay yes, it's been so great.
Thanks so much for having meFor the episode takeaways.
I have one.
Having children does not hinderyour ability to be a competent
professional or successful.
However, having children maychange your definition of
success.
2.
Direct primary care allowsdoctors and patients to work on
(45:57):
preventative health and addressroot cause issues.
It is a direct relationship toyour doctor, without any third
party involvement.
3.
If your professional life isleaving you with the feeling of
burning the candle at both ends,take time to reimagine your
career in a way that betteraccommodates the life you
envision.
Leaving the traditional pathtakes courage, but it can be
(46:22):
incredibly rewarding.
Prayer can be the turning pointand the thing that allows you
to overcome fears and take theleap of faith.
Point and the thing that allowsyou to overcome fears and take
the leap of faith.
Six for some professional momsthat want to homeschool, the
hybrid model is an option thatallows the perfect mix of
support and time.
Seven it is not less ambitiousto desire a slower, more
(46:46):
faith-filled family life andcareer.
And I also wanted to share alittle bit about a powerful off
the record reflection that wehad after this conversation, and
that was the recognition thatbuilding a dream career,
especially one that offers timeand freedom and flexibility, is
often made possible by thesupport of a spouse or partner,
(47:08):
and although that support isn'talways visible or discussed, it
matters deeply and we are bothvery thankful for it.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
(47:29):
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O.
(47:50):
Until next time, remembermotherhood isn't the end of your
dreams, it's just the beginning.
What if the biggest lie we've been told is that
motherhood will hold us backfrom a meaningful career?
In today's episode, I'm joinedby Dr Lindsay Davenport, a
physician, a homeschooling momand a woman of deep faith, whose
story is a powerful reminderthat motherhood isn't the end of
ambition.
It's the beginning of somethingdeeper.
Dr Lindsay left behind athriving academic medical career
(00:25):
at a major hospital to follow acalling she could no longer
ignore.
Her courage to trade prestigefor presence and hustle for
wholeness will leave yourethinking what's possible for
your own life.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
(00:46):
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment?
(01:08):
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore
the possibilities together.
(01:28):
I want to talk about yourcareer in academic medicine and
what that looked like in thatseason.
What motivated you, how thatstarted.
Dr. Lyndsi (01:46):
Yeah.
So I have wanted to be a doctorsince I was about four or five
years old.
I told my mom that I wanted tobe a doctor and it's really just
been this lifelong dream if nota calling of mine, of like it
really felt like it was the onlything I was really supposed to
do on earth.
I guess, as far as like mycareer or my goal, I've always
wanted to be a physician, and sowhen my uncle was diagnosed
(02:11):
with cancer, I was 17 and he hadulcerative colitis really bad
and I ended up getting adiagnosis of Crohn's disease.
So we have a huge autoimmunityin our family and so that was
another motivator for me and Ioriginally wanted to be a
gastroenterologist, and so mylove for academia and research
came from all of that with ourfamily and our genetic links and
(02:32):
all of the autoimmune diseaseswe had in the family.
So that's how I decided onacademics and teaching, and then
, when I was in residency, youstart teaching in residency.
You have medical students andinterns underneath you and it's
our job, as we progress fromintern to second year to third
year, to teach your juniors, andI loved that, and so right
(02:55):
outside of residency, I prettymuch went right into teaching
Wow.
Emilia (02:58):
And you were at a major hospital for the start of your
career.
Dr. Lyndsi (02:59):
right yeah, at a major hospital for the start of
your career right, yeah, so nota large academic institution
like you think of University ofMichigan or Cleveland Clinic,
but it was a community teachinghospital.
So I was at Ascension Genesis,which is now Henry Ford.
That's where I did my third andfourth year of medical training
and then I did my residencythere and that's where I taught
(03:20):
and I worked there for a fewyears and then I became the
clinic director for internalmedicine at McLaren Oakland,
which is another local communityhospital.
That's a bigger teachinghospital.
So each of those facilities hasmedical students, multiple
different residencies, and wetook medical students from MDs,
dos and some of the Caribbeanschools, so we had a big
(03:41):
conglomerate of students andresidents to teach.
Emilia (03:44):
And how did you go about planning for kids
throughout that period?
When did you decide the timingwas right and how did your
beliefs about motherhood playinto that planning?
Dr. Lyndsi (03:55):
So originally, as I mentioned a couple minutes ago,
my plan was to be agastroenterologist, which is
another three years of trainingafter residency.
So you do four years of medicalschool, three years of internal
medicine residency and then afellowship would be another
three years, which is why Ichose internal medicine.
I actually loved the clinic andloved family medicine, but I
chose internal because that'show you specialize.
(04:17):
Internal medicine is like thebasis for specialties.
So during my residency is whenI met my husband and we started
dating during my intern year.
We got engaged during my secondyear and then we planned our
wedding, actually for my firstyear as an attending.
During this time of getting toknow him and thinking like gosh,
I am really ready to settledown and we wanted to start a
(04:38):
family pretty much right awaywhen we got married, I chose not
to go into gastroenterology.
I learned during my residencythat I was really meant for the
clinic.
I love outpatient.
I loved connecting with peopleand forming relationships and
really being able to be a familydoctor like a jack of all
trades.
You really can see people atall stages and ages of their
(04:59):
life and be a big advocate forthem, and I love to chat with
people and form thoserelationships.
So that's how my career shifteda little bit, even right from
the beginning, thinking about Iwant to start a family and I
don't want to do another threeyears of training, yeah, Wow.
Emilia (05:14):
And then so, when do you?
How does maternity leave andall of that work in the role
that you were in?
And did you?
How did you plan?
For example, did, did you?
Did you plan that your son wasgoing to go to daycare after did
you get a nanny?
How does that all?
Dr. Lyndsi (05:30):
work, so our story is a little bit unique in that
way.
So when I we got married in2017 so that was my first year
as an attending I was turning 31that summer and then I got
pregnant pretty much like twomonths after our wedding, so it
was quicker than we anticipated.
(05:50):
Being in medicine, you hear allthe time, oh, infertility.
Infertility for womenphysicians is so high you should
even like freeze your eggs anddelay, and it's crazy that the
narrative that we're taught inmedicine from the beginning of,
like you're going to have tooutsource, you're not going to
be that present for your baby,you should.
I already had in my mind like,okay, I chose this career.
I spent my entire 20s chasingthis dream and I am going to
(06:15):
miss things in my kids' lives,and that was just the
realization that I had just cometo terms with.
So when we started to try andat that time I was working in
academics so our lives were alittle bit different my husband
had a full time desk job.
We had a dog, so like he wouldgo to doggy daycare, but we
didn't have a lot of otherresponsibilities, and so there
were days and weeks where Iworked seven days and that is
(06:38):
what I went back to frommaternity leave with my son.
I went back to a hospitalseven-day shift.
So maternity leave as aninternal medicine working for
the hospital, we get six weeksfor a vaginal delivery and eight
weeks for a C-section.
Because of my Crohn's disease Idid have a C-section, so I got
that extra two weeks and then Iactually used some PTO to take
10 weeks total.
(06:59):
But that was almost evendiscouraged.
We have to use all of our PTOin the hospital per year, like
short-term disability, beforeyou can even like take any FMLA.
So all of that was just new tome of like, okay, how much
unpaid leave and do I reallywant to burn all my PTO?
As a new mom who I'm going tohave a baby who might get sick
and then if I have no PTO Ican't take vacation, I can't
(07:19):
take any sick days.
So we decided to leave some ofmy PTO and go back at 10 weeks,
which was so hard.
You get that first one.
Emilia (07:28):
I can tell yeah.
Dr. Lyndsi (07:29):
And childcare was really nice, though.
My mom had arranged to watchour children, so she was ready
and had stepped back as her roleas a physical therapy assistant
and came in and worked fourdays a week for me, and then my
mother-in-law did a day, so wehad family to watch our baby, so
he didn't have to go to daycare.
Emilia (07:46):
Wow, can you share what was it like to go back with an
infant that young, and did youhave any fears about your baby
getting sick?
There's just so many things atthat age.
Dr. Lyndsi (07:59):
Yeah.
So the nice thing was that hewas at home, so that was always
comforting to me.
But at that time we lived inRochester and I drove to Grand
Blanc or Flint every day, so Ihad almost an hour drive.
So there were days when,especially for those hospital
shifts, I would get up and leaveand pump and leave a bottle and
not even see him in the morning.
And then on a long clinic dayor a long rounding day, I would
(08:21):
get home at 7 or 8 pm and hewould already be in bed.
So I remember just likesneaking into his bedroom while
he was asleep and like cryingand dream feeding him, because I
didn't get to see him all day.
So it was really tough.
Again, I was comforted that wehad our family to take care of
him, but it was a very hardtransition.
I had so much guilt and it's atime where I felt like, okay,
(08:42):
I'm a physician and I wantedthis, but I don't love this
anymore.
I felt very burnt out.
You feel like you're burningthe candle on both ends and like
I didn't have the time, like Imissed him rolling over for the
first time and all those thingsthat you want to be there for
with your baby.
I didn't worry about sicknessas much just because I'm an
internist and so we don't see alot of kiddos.
(09:03):
Because I'm an internist and sowe don't see a lot of kiddos
being in the hospital.
I saw more of like heartfailure and strokes and AFib and
infections, but more likebacterial infections that put
someone in the ICU.
So it was a little bitdifferent in that regard, but it
was very tough.
And then I had a lot of pushbackfrom my pump breaks.
So being in the clinic, so theway that my job worked is I
(09:26):
spent three weeks every month inthe clinic and one week in the
hospital.
So when I was in the officethere were residents that were
depending on me and so my pumpbreaks were kind of like I was
expected to work during thattime and I remember not being
able to even get a lot of outputin those first couple of weeks
because I was trying to like donotes and take phone calls and
staff patients while I'm pumpingand I really had to advocate
for, like you know what, nope, Ineed 30 minutes to myself in
(09:49):
this room with no interruptions.
And my boss was a female andshe had babies and she breastfed
.
So it was very frustrating toget pushed back on like needing
that time, but that's the waythat it worked out and it all
worked out.
It was a very busy time.
I wasn't working out, I wasjust kind of like surviving.
At that point my son did a lotof I think they call it reverse
(10:11):
cycling, where they want tonurse all night long because
they miss you, and so he wouldbe awake every one to two hours
for the first six months of hislife nursing, and so it was just
a very sleep deprived,challenging time for that first
year.
That's so hard but also so sweetthat he was still figured out
how to get that yes, how to gethis time with mommy I was
(10:33):
talking to my residents and wewere doing management for an
infection and anyway, I toldthem the wrong antibiotic, like
one that we would never use, andI'm like oh my gosh, that's
wrong.
I think I knew it was wrong,but I was so tired that I
couldn't even.
So it was, it was, they werelong, long days At what point?
Emilia (10:52):
or was there any?
Was there?
Was it a long period ofreflection of you thinking I'm
going to make a shift from this,or was there a moment where you
said no after this, for example, that where you would say I'm
going to shift the way that mycareer is going to a life that I
can enjoy more?
Not that you weren't enjoyinglife, but I guess spending more
(11:15):
time with your kid yeah.
Dr. Lyndsi (11:16):
So it took a while.
So when my son was one I gotpregnant with our daughter and
then that's when I transitionedto McClaren Oakland.
So that new job was clinicdirector.
It was 100% outpatient, whichpromised more quality of life.
So when you're rounding in thehospital once a month, that
could be that's weekends.
I was on call a lot.
That would also be holidays,depending.
(11:38):
We all had to take our turn andso I thought that doing that
next transition, it kept me inacademics.
I actually, when my daughterturned one, I did an academic
medicine fellowship.
So my mind was still very muchon staying in academics.
It's what I had focused on mywhole life.
I loved to teach and I thoughtpivoting to 100% outpatient role
(11:58):
that would give me what I waslooking for.
And so right before she I hiredin.
When I was pregnant with her,about five months before she was
born, and originally that wasgreat.
I loved the lifestyle.
It was nine to five, Sometimeswe were even done at two or
three.
I had my weekends off, I didn'thave any holiday call, and so
it felt a little more likebalance.
(12:19):
But then corporate medicine isvery tough and so the more you
give, the more they take, and itjust felt like there was never
enough, right?
I was supposed to have eighthours of admin time, but that
got eaten up and that could beat home.
That could be my kid flex thattime, however I wanted.
And so for me I wanted that tobe I work four days and I have
one day at home, and that wasjust never how it worked out.
And so then your day of clinicturns into 12 to four and you're
(12:43):
like, okay, your half day ofclinic turns into 12 to 4.
And you're like, okay, that'snot really.
Or 9 to 4, you're like that'snot really a half day.
I got an hour early and so theyended up getting rid of my
partner and I was running aresidency clinic by myself with
15 training doctors plus all ofthe medical students, and that's
when I was like I just can'tsustain this.
And then COVID hit during thattime, and so it really opened my
(13:05):
eyes to some of the bigshortcomings and failures in
modern medicine, of I wasbasically told that primary care
isn't important.
They furloughed our office,completely, shut it down for
four weeks.
So the nice thing was I got allthat time with my kids, but I
was asked to work for free, Likethey're like you can't come in
but you still have to take careof your patients, and at that
(13:25):
time we were on paper charts.
It was just a nightmare, and sothat was the turning point for
me where I was like somethinghas got to change.
And so in that was in 2020,into 2021.
And then I in 2021 is when Ireached out to my now partner,
Dr Hellman.
I had been talking to myhusband a lot about direct
primary care.
I now partner Dr Hellman.
I had been talking to myhusband a lot about direct
(13:45):
primary care.
I think this really fits.
It's a newer model of medicineand it's basically like
affordable concierge medicineand we can talk about that a
little bit more.
But that was where I was like Ithink I want to make this
transition and it took a littlewhile of like having the thought
it was like all from like themiddle of 2020.
I didn't make that leap untillike the end of 2021.
(14:07):
So it was like over a year ofme hearing this calling from God
and this like you should be athome more.
This is what we need to do.
But it took me a while toactually obey and listen to that
call.
Emilia (14:17):
What were the biggest fears or barriers that you felt
in making that transition?
Dr. Lyndsi (14:22):
Well, one is I felt like I was giving up on a
lifelong dream.
Right, I had always wanted tobe academic.
I had spent money and time todo the fellowship I loved to
teach and I felt a lot of guiltleaving my patients and my
students and my residents.
That was really hard to walkaway from, that something that I
worked so hard for for so long,and I also had a lot of fear of
the unknown.
Direct primary care wasbasically like an eat what you
(14:44):
kill model, and so I was goingto take a very big pay cut.
But at the end of the day itcame down to like what is your
time worth?
Right, when do you want to beand what fills your cup?
And how can you make afulfilling career in medicine,
work around your goals and plansand motherhood, and this was
(15:05):
just the way that I just I can'tsay anything other than like it
was just the Lord telling melike this is what you need to do
.
And so my husband was also verynervous, but it just worked out
that he had a new job.
He had been a consultantstarting right around the time
that our son was born.
He had a work from homeconsulting job.
So he did travel, but he washome a lot and he had just
gotten a raise, and so thetiming worked out perfect.
I'm like OK, I think we can dothis.
(15:26):
I didn't have to take out anyloans to join the practice that
I did, and so I was like allright, we're just going to take
this leap of faith and I'm goingto be obedient and listen and
see where that takes us, and ithas been the best transition.
I'm so happy.
Emilia (15:45):
It's funny when you actually just like listen to
what the Lord is calling you todo, how things just fall into
place Totally.
And for someone that might notbe familiar with what direct
primary care is, because Ihadn't heard of it until a
couple years ago, can you tellus about what it's like and
specifically how it works?
Dr. Lyndsi (15:57):
Yeah, so direct primary care is in the easiest
way, like affordable conciergemedicine, and so our patients
pay a monthly membership fee.
They have unlimited access tous.
They can text, call, stop in,come and get fizzy water from
the office or whatever, andthat's all included in their
membership.
We also have wholesalepharmaceuticals in the office,
so we have a pharmacy of allgeneric medication.
(16:18):
So if you're sick, we alwayshave same day visits or maybe
next day, but you come in we canput an ultrasound on you
instead of sending you for anx-ray and then you leave with
your antibiotic, and soeverything is like a one-stop
shop.
We try to do a lot morepersonalized medicine and we
have a lot more time with ourpatients because our panels are
much smaller.
So we don't accept insurance,it's all cash-based.
And because I don't acceptinsurance, I don't have to deal
(16:42):
with all of the priorauthorizations and oh, you must
put this in your note forbilling and all of the like.
See 30 to 40 patients a day.
That was happening to me in thesystem.
I got to have an hour with mynew patients instead of 15
minutes.
I could actually practicepreventive medicine and weight
loss and exercise and nutritionand all of the things that I'm
so passionate about and whatfills my cup in medicine that I
(17:04):
couldn't do in, especially in aresidency clinic where most of
our patients are Medicare orMedicaid and they're so sick and
they're so medicallyunderserved that like they don't
even know what a carbohydrate,protein and fat is and I don't
have the time to explain it tothem and it just felt like I was
constantly just like drowningin that system.
So DPC really allows you thefreedom and the flexibility to
increase the quality of carethat you provide to your
(17:25):
patients, because you have moretime and you mentioned that
you're passionate about women'shealth and preventative care and
exercise, so I've experiencedit myself as being your patient.
But also can you share a littlebit about some of the things
that you are able to work withyour patients that in a
(17:46):
traditional insurance modelwould be very difficult to do
and their beliefs and formulatea plan that's like okay, here we
can go through and calculatewhat your intake should be, as
(18:08):
far as how many grams of fat andprotein and carbs, and what do
you like to do for workouts andhow can we maximize your time
and we can just get to know eachother on such a deeper level
and I have the time to formulateplans and focus on all of those
little tiny aspects where, like, sure, we want wanna do that in
the conventional model, but Iwould have 15 to 20 minutes and
half of that visit is taken upby the medical assistant rooming
(18:30):
the patient and getting vitals.
And then I have five, 10minutes to be like okay, how you
doing?
Oh, yep, your diabetes is notgreat.
Well, here's a handout onnutrition that I'd like you to
read and I'll see you next month.
Right, there was not that timeto be like what is a day-to-day
diet look like, whereas now Ican sit down and be like okay,
walk me through a day, what isyour schedule like and what are
your preferences and what do youlike to eat and how can we work
(18:52):
with your current situation tomake it work for you?
Because I think that that thatis the, the holy grail of making
long-term change right.
It's like being able to takeand meet somebody where they are
and make that work for theirlife.
Because if I put you on a diet,anybody can give you a diet,
but if it's not something thatyou like or it's not something
(19:13):
that works for you, you're notgoing to follow it right.
So I think that is just thebigger the opportunity, like I
also have the time to be able todive into things that I'm
passionate about.
That we weren't taught inmedical school.
So nutrition and exercise andosteoporosis treatment and
hormone replacement andmenopause, perimenopause none of
that was with the focus of mytraining.
I had to educate myself on allof that, and so now that I have
(19:37):
extra time, I can listen topodcasts and read books and do
all that research that I need todo to be able to offer the best
practices to my patients.
Emilia (19:44):
And now it sounds like it's the best of both worlds
because you can offer so much toyour patients, and it sounds
like you're also able to offerso much more for your kids and
for your family and to be athome more.
So what is a typical week andhow do you balance?
Are you working full time hours, still part time?
(20:05):
How do you make it all work?
Dr. Lyndsi (20:06):
So technically I am, I guess I would say, full time.
We don't really get paid by thehour like I used to, you know,
and have to have a salary like a40 to 60 hour work week.
So my schedule right now I workon Monday and Thursday the full
day because my kiddos are in ahybrid homeschool program which
(20:27):
I think we'll talk about.
So I work the full day whilethey're in school and then on
Tuesday and Wednesday I workhalf days and I spend the
mornings with them doing theirschooling.
And I take Fridays off most ofthe time Now because I am
available to my patients viatext email.
Sometimes I will have work to doon those times where I'm quote
unquote off, but it's sorewarding because if I need to,
(20:48):
I can we.
We use Calendly as a schedulingand so I can set my hours for
whatever, like if I need to beoff early for a day to go to a
program at my kiddo's school, orif they have a doctor's
appointment, it's very easy forme to just block that time and
not schedule a patient duringthat time, and it hasn't been a
problem at all.
All of my patients are lovelyand I they really have just been
(21:09):
so understanding of my need anddesire to be a present mom and
I have so much more time with mykids.
I never, ever thought If youwould have told me when my son
was born seven years ago that Iwould be in the position that
I'm at today, I would havelaughed in your face Like I
never thought this kind offreedom and flexibility was
possible with a medical career.
Do you think?
Emilia (21:27):
that doctors that are, because I know the direct
primary care model is growingmore and more.
Do you think that people thatare graduating from school now
know that that's a viable option, or do you think it's still
something that is harder to find, that you have to search it out
like you did to go into that?
Dr. Lyndsi (21:46):
I think it's definitely growing in popularity
and visibility.
The Direct Primary CareAlliance, dpca, is the kind of
like governing board that we allthey put on our conferences and
everything, and they're doing areally good job of reaching out
to medical students andresidents and saying, hey,
there's another way you don'thave to be a pin in the cogwheel
of just like turning outpatients for insurance profit
Because you're really workingfor a big brother at that point.
(22:08):
Right Like you, nobody in thesystem gets to practice exactly
the way they want to and thereare some specialties and careers
where that's not completely thecase.
Right, but even like my OBGYN,I had my visit with her last
week and she's like I literallydon't get to practice medicine.
I'm told what to do and how todo my job by hospital
administrators and insurancecompanies and it's really taken
(22:32):
a lot of the art out of thepractice of medicine and so I
know that a lot of specialty.
It is harder to break into thisas a specialist because,
especially for surgicalsubspecialties, right Like
patients, when they already haveinsurance, have a hard time
swallowing the pill of.
Like ooh, I would pay cash fora procedure that my insurance
would otherwise cover.
But I think.
Once people start to realizewhat a scam traditional health
(22:54):
insurance is, they start toreally value paying for higher
value and higher quality carelike a direct primary care
physician.
Emilia (23:02):
Yeah, that was one of the things that attracted me the
most to the practice that itwasn't insurance run, because we
had traditional insurance forthe birth of my first and then
we had health sharing for thesecond one, like a Christian
health sharing, and it was sucha different I felt there was so
much more autonomy and beingable to choose providers, how I
(23:24):
wanted to be cared for duringthat time, even though I ended
up in the hospital with ahospital birth.
Dr. Lyndsi (23:29):
So absolutely Like, I have patients that come in and
they're like I was paying a$10,000 deductible and $2,000 a
month for my marketplaceinsurance because they're a
small business owner.
And then they find out oh,there's a DPC health care option
.
Oh, I have this option to offerdirect primary care to my
employees.
Oh, I can do a health share andpour into this and share into
(23:49):
this ministry with othercitizens, instead of throwing my
money away into this biginsurance company.
So once people realize thatthat exists, I think it really
does change their dynamic andtheir thinking of traditional
insurance and health care ingeneral.
But there's a way to go untilit's mainstream for sure.
Emilia (24:07):
What led your family to choose homeschooling?
It's mainstream for sure.
What led your family to choosehomeschooling?
And I'm curious if it wassomething after you were in this
model, or if you, for example,when you were at the hospital,
were you still planning tohomeschool at the time, and how
was that going to work?
Dr. Lyndsi (24:20):
Yeah, so my schooling was something I
started to think about from avery young age with my son,
which is silly.
When we first had kids, I wasstill very much in that
education is so important and wewanted the best.
I actually toured his firstpreschool when he was 18 months
old.
Isn't that ridiculous?
Emilia (24:38):
I can identify.
Dr. Lyndsi (24:39):
Well, my husband and I are very high achievers.
I'm a physician, he is amechanical engineer that does
nuclear, and so we're both veryeducated people and we value
that.
But the more we started tolearn about the traditional
education system, and thenespecially having a boy and I
know that sounds so cliche butmy son is very different than my
daughters.
(24:59):
I have a son who's seven, and Ihave a five-year-old daughter
and a two-year-old daughter, andmy girls will sit and color and
look at a book and beentertained that way for a while
, and my son just needs morephysical movement.
He doesn't vibe well with justthings, and so from the very
beginning we were looking forsomething that would offer a
(25:19):
challenging academic situation,and in the beginning homeschool
was not even a thought.
We were going to always pursueprivate education, and so we had
started looking into optionslike that.
So my son actually got intoRoper for preschool, which is a
school for gifted kiddos, andthat was our plan.
And then, I don't know, I justhad this like wake up moment of
(25:40):
like I don't think this is right, this is not a good fit for us,
and so, right before he wassupposed to go, we enrolled him
in our parish preschool at StJoseph in Lake Orion and that
was a godsend.
He thrived there.
He did so well.
We just did two half days whenhe was three and then three full
days when he was four, and thenmy daughter also did preschool
(26:00):
there.
And so Catholic education wasour focus at the point when they
had first started.
Because I worked full time andeven though I liked the idea of
homeschooling, I was like Ican't, I can't make that work.
And so our, our, our focus waslike okay, at least they're,
they're getting their formationand their catechism and they're
in this group of like I like thereligious aspect in their
(26:22):
schooling focused on.
And then when my son was inkindergarten it was horrible.
So I don't know if my son isgifted or not.
It doesn't really matter to us.
We've never had him tested, butI've had pediatricians and
teachers tell me that heprobably is.
He's very smart.
But along that line comes a lotof challenges sometimes.
(26:43):
So those kiddos are very easilyfrustrated.
They have perfectionisttendencies.
They don't do well when thingsdon't go their way and he has a
hard time, like when he's bored.
He was a five-year-old boy rightLike he wanted to play and he
wanted to interact with hispeers and so he would get done
with his work and then he wouldjust be sitting around getting
in trouble.
(27:04):
So kindergarten was terrible.
Within the first three weeks ofkindergarten we were told by
the principal that it might notbe at the school for us.
Now, mind you, this is thechurch that my husband was
baptized in, confirmed in, didhis Holy Communion, like
everything.
We have been going to thischurch forever, and so to have
the new principal say that aboutmy five-year-old boy three
weeks into school, that's wheneverything changed.
(27:26):
I basically I struggled to keephim in that year.
We he had his tonsils out inJanuary and I was going to pull
him in January and just figureit out, but we ended up sticking
out the year.
And so throughout that firstyear when he was in kindergarten
is when I started really deepdiving into home education.
That is when I had already madethe transition.
So I was working direct primarycare but I was still working my
(27:48):
academic medicine job part-timeso that I had some income while
my DPC practice grew.
So work was actually still verybusy at that point because I
was working in two offices.
So yeah, I did a lot ofresearch that year when he was
in kindergarten, and we did alot of soul searching and found
classical Catholic homeschooleducation with a hybrid model
(28:09):
that just fit perfectly with ourlife.
Emilia (28:12):
What surprised you the most once you found the hybrid,
first of all, for people thataren't familiar with how a
hybrid homeschooling setup works, can you go over that?
And then also what you've lovedabout it and maybe any
challenges as well.
Dr. Lyndsi (28:25):
Yeah, so homeschooling at first felt very
daunting because I was like,how do I pick a curriculum and
what am I going to do when Iwork and what are my options?
And so I started to do researchand I joined Facebook groups
and mom groups and just startedasking questions and looking at
curriculums and I'm also prettytype A.
So it was like what if I makethe wrong choice?
But then I realized if I makethe wrong choice, then we can
(28:48):
just, we can pivot, we can makea different choice, right.
There really wasn't like itwasn't as serious as I was
making it out to be, as far aslike making a mistake, right.
So we looked seriously intohybrids.
I had looked at a couple thatwere more secular and the thing
that really turned me off fromthat is that they followed a lot
of public school curriculum andthat was always a no-go for us.
(29:11):
It's very important to me thatmy kids have that theological
background and the formation intheir education.
I don't really agree with someof the principles that are being
taught in public school andthat's just a very personal
choice for us, but I didn't wantthat as part of their education
.
So that really turned me off.
And then, actually, one of mypatients mentioned hey, we do a
(29:31):
homeschool hybrid and it'sclassical and it's Catholic and
we're doing a tour next week andyou should come.
And I walked into that buildingand just felt the Holy Spirit
and I told my husband I was likethis is it?
This is where we're meant to beI just know I'm getting teary
even talking about it, but like,this is where God meant us to
be and it has just been theperfect role for our family.
(29:54):
So hybrid education means thatour kids go to school too, and
hybrids are slightly different.
They're either two or threedays a week, so for us it's two
days and then the wholecurriculum is planned out.
Our hybrid is nationallyrecognized and accredited.
It's all over the country, andso they will graduate with an
(30:16):
accredited diploma.
It goes from pre-K-3 all theway through 12th grade, and so
this is something that we cancontinue for their whole life.
And it is classical learningcertified, and so the kiddos
take the classical learningexams instead of like the, even
like the Catholic I don'tremember I think it was star
testing that they did at theCatholic school.
So it has an emphasis onSocratic method, discussion,
(30:37):
English literature and the arts,they learn Latin.
It had everything that I waslooking for, but it also gives
me the ability to do both, so Iget to work and be present with
my patients when my kids are inschool and then, because of my
job and the flexibility I havein the office, I get to be fully
present with them in themornings and do their schoolwork
.
And what surprised me the mostwas the amount of time that it
(30:59):
took.
That was one of the mostdaunting things is like how do I
fit all of this education whenyou think about, my son was in
kindergarten from 8 in themorning until 4 pm and so little
of that is actually spent oneducation.
There's so much wasted time andthey can only teach to the
brightest, to the bottom of thebarrel, right, Like they teach
to the basic minimum.
And so there was.
(31:24):
So it was so eye-opening where,like we would sit down with a
curriculum and we could do ourmath and our reading and our
phonics and the big basic stuffand his religion and be done in
an hour, hour and a half and westill had time to just play.
So I have little feral freerange kids who are running
around on our property now andplaying, and we spend about an
hour to two hours a day onschool.
Emilia (31:43):
It's amazing how did they adjust?
Because I've heard thatsometimes when they start in the
more traditional model and thenswitch, there can be a bit of
an adjustment period.
How did you?
Was it easy because they wereso young, or how did that go?
Dr. Lyndsi (32:00):
Yeah, my son definitely had the biggest
transition, I would say, becausehe had done a full year in
kindergarten.
The thing that he missed themost was just the other things
of school, right, like he missedgoing to the library and recess
with his friends.
The one downside to our hybridprogram is that most Catholic
churches have their own schooland so we do our hybrid at a
Baptist church.
(32:20):
It's beautiful, the facility isgreat, but there is no
playground and so it's not atraditional school, right.
So he did miss that aspect oflike the specials and going out
for recess and things and havinga bigger class, because the
homeschool hybrids are innatelysmaller, so there's only eight
kiddos in his class.
But he has adjustedphenomenally.
We love the families and theteachers at our school are other
(32:42):
homeschooling mamas and so,like his teacher, this year she
has 10 kids.
She is fantastic.
She's just like the ultimatemom and she was so great with my
son Last year.
We had a behavioral folder andhe was always in trouble and I
feel like he just had, like thisred X on his back of like from
the very beginning they werejust out for him and I know that
that probably alteredperception on my part just
because of like how I felt inyou you become mama bear with
(33:05):
your kiddo, but this year wedidn't get one single problem.
He didn't, he survived and Ijust it has just been the best
for us.
So he did have a little bit ofa transition, just like missing
some of that after schoolactivities and things that we
had in the traditional schoolsetting.
But with the hybrid they loveto be at home, they love that
they have more free time, theyget to sleep in multiple days a
(33:26):
week and at our hybrid programwe still have specials, so there
are still like new music, theydo Latin, like I said, they do
PE and they do drama, and sothey still have their afternoon
filled with like kind of thespecials that they would have
gotten at school or traditionalschool.
Emilia (33:45):
And I can only imagine the friendships that are going
to form with having the smallerclasses and having the values
that are also shared amongst thefamilies as well.
Dr. Lyndsi (33:55):
So we are surrounded with families and, for me,
women who are on the samejourney.
There's actually other twoother physician moms One is a
naturopathic doctor and one isan OBGYN who are doing this too,
and so to meet otherprofessionals who are in the
same field.
We all have the same values andI know that when I drop my kids
(34:17):
off there, that they are safeand they are loved and they are
cared for and it's just yeah,it's the best feeling having
that community.
Emilia (34:24):
You shared that motherhood deepened your
relationship with Christ.
I was wondering if you couldshare about what that has looked
like in your life, Because itsounds like from the beginning
you were already on that pathbecause you were looking for a
Catholic education.
But if you could just sharewhat that has looked like for
you.
Dr. Lyndsi (34:42):
So I've always been Christian.
I was raised going to churchand I had a very strong faith as
a child and even like into highschool I would take.
Some of my dual enrollment timewas with Bible study and I was
always in youth group and allthat.
And then college is a time oftransition for most people, I
think, and I never stoppedbelieving, but I definitely was
(35:04):
not active in my faith,especially during medical school
, and that was a time where Ijust I could feel that void.
When you stray away from Christand you're like, okay, I know
that I'm like not not living,you just feel like something is
missing.
And yeah, my husband also.
So he's a cradle Catholic.
He was raised Catholic and wentthrough confirmation and
(35:25):
everything, and then he also hadgotten away from the church.
He was a nuclear engineer, sohe was traveling all over the
country all the time and so hedidn't even have a home really.
So he didn't have a home,parish or anything, he was just
all over the place.
And so after our marriage iswhen I was like I just feel like
something is missing.
And so that's when we turnedback to the church and started
to go back to church, and Iactually am not Catholic yet.
(35:47):
That is something that I'vebeen praying on a lot, but I
knew that Warren was raised thatway and I love the deep
traditions and the values thatare in the Catholic church and
we are very pro-life, and so itjust the more I prayed on it, I
was like, okay, I think thisfits, like I had been thinking
about doing conversion and so Iactually am signed up to start
my OCIA conversion in Septemberof this year.
(36:09):
It's a commitment that I'vebeen thinking about for a few
years.
You have to go every week and Ihad three little kids and a
traveling husband, so it's likeI don't know if I'm going to
make that work.
But as I became a mother, Irealized that it is just.
It went from being like, oh,work is my main focus and my
calling and my role is, like Imentioned earlier, was to be a
(36:33):
physician, and after I had mychildren I was like motherhood
does not take away.
It didn't make me less of aphysician, it didn't make me
less of a woman.
It fulfills me in a way that Ihave never, ever been fulfilled
before and this is my highestcalling.
Like that is what I wasactually put here to do and
(36:53):
everything else needs to besecond around that.
And so once I started to putGod first again and really give
the stress and everything awayand, just like, make prayer a
focus, my entire life changedfor the better.
I have so much less stress, likeI mentioned earlier, about
being obedient and making thechange with my career, and then
(37:14):
the homeschooling thing I feltlike was another calling.
And once I just followed theLord's guidance of like this is
what you're supposed to be doing, like I just I couldn't ignore
it.
It was like that voice, thatnagging voice in your head of
like you need to do this, youneed to do this, you need to do
this, you need to do this, youneed to do this, and I couldn't
explain it to my husband in anyother way of like this is God
(37:35):
talking to me, like we need todo this.
And since I have, like I'mtelling you it's a complete 180.
I'm the happiest that I'veliterally ever been.
I mean, obviously we still haveour stresses and motherhood can
be trying and homeschooling isalso sometimes very frustrating
when the kids don't want tolisten to you because you're
their mother, not their teacher.
When I wake up with gratitude,like I can find good in every
single day all the time becauseI wake up and I give it to God
(37:55):
right, like I can pray on that Ican.
If I'm having a bad day, likehe can turn it around.
And it's so fun to share thatwith my kids too, like they're
getting their faith formation inschool and we also just get to
be.
You know we have that as afamily.
I take them to mass a lot onFriday mornings.
That's the one that's gearedmore towards kiddos, and so it's
(38:16):
just it's so awesome to seetheir little relationships.
Like our two year old isstarting to learn the sign of
the cross and she'll start tosay her blessings.
And the other day she didsomething and she was like
praise God, and it's just.
Emilia (38:28):
It's been just the best to to come back and hearing you
speak, I can relate so muchbecause it's similar.
I felt that going through lawschool.
It was also really hammered intothink about if you have girls
and they say that if you'reraised by by a working mom, then
your child is more likely to bea high achiever too, and it
(38:52):
seemed like such an importantthing.
But the way that you're livingyour life and the way that I've
chosen to structure my practice,I feel like that's more
fulfilling.
That's more, at least for mepersonally.
That has been my experiencethat I don't want the example to
be that you have to outsource alot of things that bring you
joy in your life, and motherhoodis one of those For me.
(39:16):
It sounds like it is for you aswell, and it's something that
the example that you were ableto give your kids.
Now I feel like it's so specialand it's so.
It took risk and you had toleave the traditional path, but
it just sounds like it's goingto be something that you can't
(39:36):
just tell someone, that theyhave to experience it, and your
kids are going to grow up livingthat way and being able to
imagine that for themselvesbetter than if you hadn't made
those choices.
Dr. Lyndsi (39:47):
Yeah, it's amazing again to see just the shift that
I have made in my personal andprofessional and faith journey
from 2017, when I was pregnantwith my son, to now.
It's so special to be able tohave that time with them and
they're only little what's, andyou feel it too as the mom.
It's just different.
I can't imagine not having thatconnection that I do with my
(40:12):
kiddos.
I'm the preferred parent forall three of my children and
that comes with a lot of its ownrisk and reward, because you
know when they're hurt andthey're scared and they're sad,
they want their mom, but it'sthe best feeling to be able to
be that for them.
And I just feel like my cup isfull in all of the ways.
I get to focus on myself andhave time to exercise, but also
(40:33):
give my full self to them andhave time with my patients.
And I just never thought that Iwould have this completeness in
life and I definitely would nothave had that if I wouldn't
have listened to the Lord andmade the switch and I could have
ignored that voice that wastelling me you don't have to
stay in corporate medicine.
I could have stayed and voicethat was telling me like you
(40:57):
don't have to stay in corporatemedicine, like I could have
stayed and just been burnt outand miserable and spent no time
with my kids and I'm so thankfulthat he kind of like picked me
up and put me on this path thatI'm supposed to be on.
Emilia (41:02):
What would you say to the woman who believes that she
has to choose between ameaningful career and being
present for her children,between a meaningful career and
being present for her children?
How would you help this personthat's considering both paths
discern what the right?
Dr. Lyndsi (41:17):
path is for them.
Yeah, I think the biggest thingfor me was praying on it and
giving it to God, but I alsothink that it starts with
rejecting what society tells youthat a woman is, or what
society tells you that you haveto be.
I think the biggest lie thathas been fed, and the biggest
gaslight, I guess, of women hasbeen that, like you, can't be a
good mom and have a fulfillingvocation outside of your home,
(41:39):
and if your calling is that yourvocation is inside your home,
right, making that choice andjust being like this is what's
best for us at this time, and mebeing here to raise my own
children is where I'm supposedto be.
That's okay too.
And so walking away from whatsociety has told you you have to
be, I think it's just somethingthat you have to be okay with.
But that's the first step.
(42:00):
I had to be okay with walkingaway from a fellowship that I
did from years and years andyears of preparation for a
career, and I didn't give up mycareer completely, but I had to
walk in faith of making thischange is going to work for us
and for my family, and I hadthat faith, and then you have to
be willing to just be flexibleand pivot if things don't go
your way and just trust thatit's all perfect in God's time.
(42:22):
Because if I would have triedto make this transition before I
did, I don't think it wouldhave worked out the way that it
did.
So just everything is perfectin God's time.
Emilia (42:37):
Just listen to that voice and have the faith, I
think, is the biggest thing.
I was thinking that I wasthinking what you said before
you said it about how perfectGod's timing always is and how
he's always ahead of before weeven know what we need.
He's ahead of you and I thinkthat that's one of the best
things about living in faith isthat you have this guidance from
the Holy Spirit that can gobefore you and prepare the way.
(42:57):
How do you define success todaycompared to five or 10 years
ago?
Dr. Lyndsi (43:02):
Oh gosh.
So five or 10 years ago,success would have been being a
program director, speaking atnational conferences, having
some publications under my belt,and I probably would have had a
way less relationship with mychildren.
Now success to me is being ableto wake up in the morning and
feel like I am living out apurpose, and that purpose is to
(43:22):
be able to connect and changethe lives of my patients and
being able to raise littlesoldiers of Jesus and being able
to be there and connect withthem.
I have time for all of thepassions that I want.
I think being successful is amuch different definition for me
now.
Like success is more about whoI'm raising and the legacy I'm
(43:45):
leaving behind in them than likewhat I'm able to do on my own
or like what my professionalaccolades are.
Emilia (43:52):
Any last encouragement that you would want to give for
women navigating theprofessional ambition and also a
desire for a slower, morefaith-filled family life?
Dr. Lyndsi (44:04):
I think just really preying on what it is that you
want and having faith that it'llwork out, and taking the leap,
that was the biggest thing forme.
I was very fearful, it was veryscary, and I was walking in this
path that I felt like, oh mygosh, this could all blow up in
my face.
I'm giving up a six-figuresalary and I could list off all
the reasons why I shouldn't doit, but I couldn't ignore the
(44:25):
voice, and so I think like ifyou have that calling and you
feel like you're drowning andyou can't, I felt like I was
constantly burning the candle atboth ends, and so now I never
feel like that.
I have this kind of likeperfect balance that I've been
able to find, and again, notthat there's not stress, but
being able to give it to God andreally just take that leap of
faith.
I think faith is the word thatI want to leave everyone with is
(44:48):
, if you have that faith andwalk in that faith, know that if
God puts it before you and youfeel like it's supposed to be
where you're going, I think thatthat's probably a good thing to
give into and listen to and beobedient to Thank you.
Emilia (45:00):
That's so encouraging, and for people that are local in
Rochester and want to becomeyour patient, or if there's a
doctor that wants to connectwith you, what's the best way
for people to connect with you?
Dr. Lyndsi (45:12):
You can check out our website.
It's paradoxhealth.
I have an Instagram, but it'sreally just.
I kind of share my runningjourney and my sourdough and
homeschooling stuff.
There's not a lot of medicineon there, but every once in a
while I'll pop in when thingsare roughing my feathers.
So my Instagram is at DrLindsay Davenport and then you
could always reach out via email, which is Lindsay at Paradox
(45:34):
Health.
Thank you so much.
Emilia (45:36):
Dr Lindsay yes, it's been so great.
Thanks so much for having meFor the episode takeaways.
I have one.
Having children does not hinderyour ability to be a competent
professional or successful.
However, having children maychange your definition of
success.
2.
Direct primary care allowsdoctors and patients to work on
(45:57):
preventative health and addressroot cause issues.
It is a direct relationship toyour doctor, without any third
party involvement.
3.
If your professional life isleaving you with the feeling of
burning the candle at both ends,take time to reimagine your
career in a way that betteraccommodates the life you
envision.
Leaving the traditional pathtakes courage, but it can be
(46:22):
incredibly rewarding.
Prayer can be the turning pointand the thing that allows you
to overcome fears and take theleap of faith.
Point and the thing that allowsyou to overcome fears and take
the leap of faith.
Six for some professional momsthat want to homeschool, the
hybrid model is an option thatallows the perfect mix of
support and time.
Seven it is not less ambitiousto desire a slower, more
(46:46):
faith-filled family life andcareer.
And I also wanted to share alittle bit about a powerful off
the record reflection that wehad after this conversation, and
that was the recognition thatbuilding a dream career,
especially one that offers timeand freedom and flexibility, is
often made possible by thesupport of a spouse or partner,
(47:08):
and although that support isn'talways visible or discussed, it
matters deeply and we are bothvery thankful for it.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
(47:29):
possible for your work andfamily life.
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O.
(47:50):
Until next time, remembermotherhood isn't the end of your
dreams, it's just the beginning.
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