May 15, 2025 • 32 mins
Gabriela Rivera shares her journey from Panama to Michigan, revealing how she built community as a homeschooling mom and barre instructor without extended family nearby. Her story demonstrates that intentional friendship-building requires the same strategic approach many apply to business development.
• Originally from Panama where both parents typically work, Gabriela discovered the possibility of staying home with children in America
• Became exposed to homeschooling through a church family during college, drawn to the freedom and creativity it offered
• Teaches bar fitness classes 4-5 hours per week, finding it energizing and community-building rather than draining
• Approaches friendship strategically by setting goals: going to a park to meet one mom, getting a phone number, following up
• Avoids small talk by asking deeper questions that quickly reveal whether meaningful connection is possible
• Seeks three types of relationships: younger moms to mentor, peers in the same life stage, and older women who offer wisdom
• Delivered her first baby during the pandemic when family couldn't travel to support her
• Recommends the book "Breath as Prayer" for new moms dealing with anxiety
If you've ever felt lonely in motherhood, take the first step to build your village. Don't wait for someone to invite you – be the one who reaches out, sets the date, and pursues your people. Your community is out there, it just takes time and intentionality.
If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.
For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today, I am joined by Gabriela Rivera, a bar
instructor, homeschooling momand community builder.
Her story is full of intention,heart and joy.
Gabriela is originally fromPanama and her vision for
motherhood was shaped by a blendof cultures and seasons.
What started as a plan forfull-time work evolved into a
calling to stay home,homeschooling her children and
(00:21):
building a life rooted inpresence and connection
homeschooling her children andbuilding a life rooted in
presence and connection.
On today's episode, gabbyshares about her journey into
bar, how she created a villagefar from extended family, and
why she believes being strategicabout friendship is just as
important as being strategic inbusiness.
If you've ever felt lonely inmotherhood or wondered how to
make it all work, in a newseason, this episode is full of
(00:45):
encouragement and practicalwisdom.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans, the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
(01:05):
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment.
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters with
moms who've shaped their workand business around what truly
(01:26):
matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's hop right
(01:48):
in and talk about what your work, life or career was like before
kids.
What did you imagine it wasgoing to be after kids and what
actually happened?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
okay, so I thought I was gonna be a full-time working
mom.
I went to school for foodscience so I thought I was going
to be in the food engineeringindustry working r&d long hours.
I don't think I ever thoughtabout what it would look like
(02:21):
once I had kids.
But I come from Panama, centralAmerica, so people in that
country work.
Both parents have to workbecause wages are so low that
that is the only way to trulymake it.
So that's all I knew growing up.
Both my parents worked.
I don't think I knew anybodythat stayed at home with their
(02:42):
family because that was just notthe norm.
So what actually happened afterI graduated, and like the
summary would be I got marriedthe summer before my senior year
, moved to panama with myhusband, so we lived there.
We both work.
I actually ended up going intoteaching preschool, which was
not even the original plan movedback back to the US recently I
(03:05):
guess six years ago, notrecently but we moved to the US
after that and decided to starta family and because I didn't
have a work permit at the time,I just couldn't go into working
right away.
And then we got pregnant and sofrom that moment on, I guess I
just stayed home.
I never went into working.
And then I realized I didnstayed home, I never went into
working, and then I realized Ididn't want to anyway.
(03:27):
I wanted to stay home with mykids.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So that's kind of how it went down so was it before
you were pregnant you knew, orwere you just gonna see how it
went month by month?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
how so decide?
The first time that I gotintroduced to a new concept when
it came to staying at home withthe kids was when I came to the
us for college.
So I started going to churchand all the moms were staying at
home with their kids and I waslike, wait a minute, is that
even possible?
Then I met moms who werehomeschooling and I was like
(04:00):
what even is homeschooling?
That was not a thing in mycountry.
So I thought what a privilegeto be able to stay home with
your kids and provide them withan education.
So I think once I got pregnantI knew that was an option,
because now we were in the USand my husband was probably
(04:21):
gonna make enough to make thatan option and he gave me the
freedom like what do you want todo?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
but I think in my heart I knew that's what I
wanted to do from when we gotpregnant that's interesting that
you say that, because inHonduras it's the same, and when
I talked to my mom about whyshe was not a stay-at-home mom,
she said that was not an option,or if it was, it's just.
Yeah, the wages are so low thatit's very difficult to do that.
(04:47):
So, yeah, that is a perk ofliving here, I think.
Yeah.
So homeschooling, too when didthat come about?
Because ever since I met you,yeah, I think that has been what
you've hoped to do.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, I think going back to that first time when I
saw it in action.
So there was a young couple atthe church I attended when I was
in college that basicallyadopted me.
We're like you're like theoldest sister and I would nanny
for them sometimes, but I got tosee what it looked like to
homeschool.
It was just so laid back and ontheir own schedule, and their
(05:23):
kids were different, like theywere just enjoying life.
They were not chasing aschedule, they were just being
adventurous and learning throughthings that they actually
enjoyed, and I think it justopened my eyes to what was
available.
So I knew from that moment thatI wanted that to be an option
for my kids and so, yeah, sothis was before your Panama.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So when you went to do preschool did you think oh,
this might help me.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I didn't I honestly, I always enjoyed kids.
I was like this is fun, butgoing into preschool as a
teacher, I think that's when Ireally fell in love with the
concept of teaching.
Yeah, especially those youngages, where they are just little
sponges, want to absorb all thethings that you have to say,
and just seeing them develop soquickly like by the end of the
(06:12):
year they were completelydifferent kids was so rewarding
so now you're still teaching alittle bit, a different audience
you teach yes I do and how didthat come about?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
how did you get into that?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
so when I was in college I got certified to teach
zumba and that was my firstexposure to teaching group
fitness classes and I thoughtthis is so fun.
I love dancing, grew up dancing.
I like all things choreography,coordination.
I like exercising.
I am not somebody that will goto the gym and push the machines
(06:49):
and, you know, like the bigweights, it has to be fun.
So I started that in collegeand then when we moved to panama
, I started teaching dance, butcame back to the us and when we
moved to michigan, the firstthing I looked for was like a
smaller studio that offeredgroup fitness classes and I fell
in love with what they weredoing and I told my husband I
(07:11):
want to work here someday.
Two pregnancies later, babieswere born.
I knew, okay, now is the time,so I just went for it.
I applied, they do a littleinterview and then they train
you, they certify you and now Ilove it.
It's just such a great space tonot just build community but
(07:32):
build people up individually andyeah, encourage them.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And for someone that might want to do that.
How does someone become a barinstructor?
Do they have to be a memberfirst?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, so you can just approach your nearest bar
studio.
I work specifically for barthree.
They're always looking forpeople that want to become
instructors.
Yeah, you just have to audition, because they're looking for
specific qualities and the wayyou speak and that is
motivational, that you havemusicality, that you can follow
(08:09):
a beat.
Do they train you for?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Other than that, I mean other than that For the
audition, or it's natural talent.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
No, for the audition they give you a template and
they say teach this, you know.
So you're not going in blind,you know what they want you to
do.
And then, if that works out,then they train you.
Now, this is something you payfor because you're getting
trained, yeah.
So it is like a I want to sayit's like a six-week or even
longer process, okay, but by theend of it you feel like a
(08:38):
complete pro.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yeah.
Because you have you know,applied and really studied all
the things that there are tolearn and then, once you become
a bar instructor, do you have towork a minimum number of hours?
Can you make your own schedule?
What is that like?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
you can work as many hours as you want or, I guess,
as the studio needs you.
I came in towards the end of aseason where they were shifting
schedules and so as a newbie youkind of pick up whatever hours
are available.
But as you continue to grow youcan pick more and more shifts.
I think it just depends on thebusiness.
Our local studio they own fourdifferent studios so if I wanted
(09:17):
to teach in all four of themthen I could get more hours.
But because I love being home,I don't.
It's just, it's honestly mylittle outing, it's like my
little me thing that I get to dooutside of the home and being
with my littles, so it issomething that energizes me.
It doesn't feel like work.
I get to love on people and Iget to build community, so it's
(09:39):
like truly the best of all theworlds.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I really really enjoy it.
Your class is so fun and whenyou are teaching you can tell
that you're so alive and havingfun and it doesn't feel forced,
and it was really fun to see youdoing that, thank you friend,
it was fun how many hours areyou working a week?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So right now I'm working five.
Well, it's a little longer, butin theory theory, like each
classes count as an hour.
So I'm teaching five classes aweek.
Um, and then it ebbs and flows.
So in the summer I'm just goingto teach four, and when the
winter comes I can teach alittle more again.
It just depends on what theyneed.
A lot of the instructors arestay-at-home moms.
(10:21):
A lot of instructors havefull-time jobs and then they do
this on their free time um, soyeah, is there anyone that does
it full-time as a full-time?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
no, not really, unless they're like, unless
you're a mentor to the people oryou're a manager of the studio
yeah it is pretty much apart-time job, yeah do you see
yourself wanting to add morehours in the future, or what do
you think as your kids are olderand you're still homeschooling?
What do you see as potentialnext?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
There's so much potential.
I think there's always going tobe a limited amount of hours
that I can pick up, though,because there's other
instructors, so we have to allwork as a team to make sure that
everybody has shifts that theycan cover.
I think, eventually, the moreknowledge I gain, the more I can
go into like more personaltraining or branching out,
because right now I'm workingunder a specific brand, under a
(11:15):
specific franchise, but I thinkthat if I wanted to like branch
out of that to build my owncommunity, that would be
available in the long haul forsure and what do you do for
child care when you're working?
so the beauty of this place isthat the managers are so
gracious.
They actually provide freechild care for the instructors
(11:36):
while we're teaching.
So that is that's how I knewthis was meant to be, because I
have a four-year-old and atwo-year-old and they come to
work with me and they get takencare of while I teach that's
amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So you mentioned that you moved, yes, from Panama and
your family's still in Panamamostly, and then I know your
husband's Alex family is alsonot in Michigan.
So what do you think has beenthe hardest part about raising a
family away from both of yourfamilies?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
that's it.
That's the hardest part.
Not having family around isvery difficult because you don't
necessarily have any help inthe day-to-day, you don't have
people to celebrate holidayswith, necessarily, in essence,
everything that you count yourfamily for.
You have to start all over, youhave to create that family.
(12:31):
So for us the hardest thing hasbeen Just seeing our kids grow
up without thosemulti-generational relationships
that are so important for themto have relationships with their
grandparents.
And thank God for technology wedo get to talk to them over the
phone and FaceTime and whatnot,but it's definitely not the
same.
(12:51):
So I think it can be verydifficult emotionally also to
see other people that do havefamily around and help around as
a mom be like oh man, howdifferent would my life be if I
had a little set of extra hands.
And it also has changed the waywe even go into family planning
, like, do we want more children, knowing that we won't have to
help?
Other people have three, fourchildren and we're like we want
(13:12):
three or four children, but theyhave grandparents coming around
and we don't have that.
And so how do we either findcontentment in what we have, how
do we build that community andthose grandparents that might be
your neighbors, those aunts anduncles that are single people
that are out there that needcommunity, that would love to be
included in a family.
So I don't know, in ourperspective, those people are
(13:35):
out there.
We just have to be diligentabout building that community.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I would describe you as extraordinarily good at
building community.
So what does that look like?
Because I think for you itcomes so naturally.
I don't even know if you reallyrealize how.
Maybe it's not as easy forother people to create groups of
friendships and bring peopletogether and introduce people.
(14:02):
I just met someone the otherday that I met through you, but
you don't even, I don't evenknow if you remember Well,
that's how we even met, remember?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
That is crazy.
That's a crazy story for sure.
I think the first step is to behumble and to acknowledge your
need.
A lot of people want to appearlike they have life all together
and they're fine.
I think it's just realizingthere is a gap.
There is a need that I have.
So how do I meet it?
Personally, I think it has todo with being strategic.
(14:33):
I think a lot of people, whenit comes to building a business,
are so strategic and if theyuse those same techniques that
they use to connect in thebusiness space but they did that
in friendships they would seeso much growth.
I always joke about I don't knowif this happens to you like
people you haven't talked in 20,10, 20 years will send you a dm
(14:55):
on facebook, be like hey, I'mselling now.
Like, if you want this product,and I'm like you're reaching
out to me and you haven't talkedto me in 20 years, but because
it's a business and you believein the product that you have to
sell, you approach people.
Well, what if you saw yourfriendship as a product?
What if you realize that youhave something to give to people
and that it is somethingdesirable?
And I go in that way I'm like,here's my strategy, like I am a
(15:21):
fantastic friend when I devoteto my people, so I'm just gonna
put it out there, right.
And so I think it has to dowith taking that first step,
because why are you bold aboutselling me a product, you know,
but you're alone like you're notthat bold to like build a
friendship.
So for me specifically, I amthe one to take the first step.
I think a lot of people just sitand wallow, kind of like oh man
, I wish somebody would inviteme to dinner, I wish somebody
(15:42):
would invite me to a play date.
No, girl, you plan the playdate right.
Go out in the park, see the momand like make your little goals
.
Like today I'm going to go tothe park, I'm going to meet one
mom and let's go like dating andI'm going to get one phone
number and I'm gonna build thatfriendship.
So I think it's just beingstrategic and on mission.
There's different strategies,right, like you can host big
(16:03):
groups of people.
Um, you can find for me what'skey to find a facebook group.
Lots of areas, have them.
You know, moms and play dates,and so that's how I met a lot of
moms.
And then be strategic, like,okay, now that I've met
everybody in group setting, whoam I clicking with, then
approach them for that nextquote-unquote date you know what
I mean.
Like the next play date.
It takes time, right, but likeif you have a vision of what you
(16:23):
want to build, then you can gotowards that.
So I would say there's so manywise business women that are
probably listening to this andthey had never, ever thought let
me be a strategic with myfriendships as I am with my
business.
The moment that comes to life,you're like, okay, why not?
Because I think a lot of peoplethink, oh, friendships are
something organic, it just hasto happen naturally.
(16:46):
And I think it's kids thathappen in school, right at the
park.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
But now that we're adults we kind of have to add a
little extra strategy there tomake sure that it actually
happens something that I foundhard when I first moved to
Michigan is that it was easy tomeet people but it felt very
small talkish and so it was hardto make true friendships and it
(17:10):
always felt like thefriendships were not going to be
as strong as the alreadyexisting ones because it was so
new and so superficial.
But you're just so intentionalwith the conversations that you
have that I think it makes iteasier to connect.
What is your strategy for thator how how do you do that?
Yeah, because that's somethingthat I noticed right away when
(17:33):
we first met.
It seemed like you right awaywent with like deeper questions,
that I was taken aback by.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I honestly, I just struggle with small talk.
I cannot do it.
It seems very shallow to me andso I'm like.
So, like how are you doing?
How are you doing Really Right?
Like what do you feel is yourpurpose?
Like what you know, what areyou doing with your life?
I feel like a lot of people arejust like whoa, but then I know
that people that do enjoy that,that are seeking for that, are
totally there for that, forthose conversations.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So do you ever get someone with a weird reaction of
I just met and you're asking meyeah, I've had people kind of
like jokes, like okay, we'regood, we're going there.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm like if you want to, totally fine, if you don't.
But I think I also like becauseof my faith I live very much on
mission like I want to knowwhere you are at in your journey
?
What do you believe?
Do we have similar core values?
You know so, yeah, allconversations are interview,
whether you know it or not.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But yeah, I think it's just it pays off to be that
strategic, because then youknow and then you know how to
introduce someone that's goingto be similar friends with
someone else, because you'vealready, yeah, gone deeper.
Um, you talked about faith, yes, and so how does that play a
role in community building?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
yeah, okay.
So I'm a christian, so Ibelieve in jesus and I believe
that all people who trust andput their trust in him will be
saved.
And so, like I think it makesyou be more missional about your
community, like you're alwayslooking for people to share this
good news about jesus with, nomatter how they take it, like
(19:18):
you're just open to sharing that.
Um, people see there's adeepness to you, that you're
very open to spiritual things,that you're going for deeper
conversations.
So I think I think peoplenotice that and so you will
quickly find your communitybecause either they share those
beliefs or they're interested inthose beliefs.
And so in the season of liveI'm in people kind of fall in
(19:40):
one of these categories.
There's people that I'm likepouring into and there's also
generational.
It doesn't even have to be allabout faith, but there's younger
moms, there's like collegestudents who are like a
generation behind or a coupleyears behind.
That I get to pour it intoright, and these are the people
I'm just like wanting to investin because of the little
experience that I have or wisdomthat I can give.
(20:01):
Then there have my peers, thepeople who are in the same
season.
We're in the thick of it.
We look at each other.
We're like no clue what we'redoing, but we're doing it
together.
And then we have the people whoare like the next generation,
those moms that are a coupleyears ahead or a couple of
decades ahead, that we arewanting wisdom from, and I think
that's like what I'm lacking inthe season I'm I'm so
desperately looking for becauseI've had it all growing up and
(20:23):
so now I'm like, okay, where arethose moms, where are those
grandmas that can like infusethat?
So that's like just like in thewomen's circles.
But I think it's also soimportant to have like couples,
if you're married, that um click, like husbands clicks, wives
clicks, the kids get along, um,but the only way to find out
that out is like saying like hey, do you guys want to come over
(20:44):
for dinner?
Hey, do you want to meet at thepark?
Hey, do you want to go to abaseball game?
So it takes intentionality, ittakes, it takes that like
constant pursuit.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
So I think the things that we prioritize in life,
it's just gonna show what'simportant to you looking back,
because because now you're olderthan five, so you've been a mom
for five whole years, Almost.
Yeah.
What would you tell youryounger self before you became a
mom about the journey?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I think I would tell my younger self there is going
to be a pandemic when you'repregnant and about to deliver
this baby.
You're gonna deliver a baby andthe craziest time ever, your
mom is not gonna come.
They don't even like I thinkthat was the craziest to.
Yeah, your family's not gonnabe able to be there.
I think I would just warn her.
It's gonna be a lot rougherthan you know.
(21:37):
Young Gabby might have imagined.
But, joking aside, I think Iwould have talked to myself
about postpartum, just thatfourth trimester we talked about
, because I feel like I wasn'taware of how hard, how foggy,
how cloudy your mind is and howexhausting it can be, because we
(21:59):
just highlight the good stuff.
You're're going to love it,you're going to snuggle and we
want people to be excited, butwhen do you tell your people?
There's also a really hard sideto this, in a loving way,
without scaring them away,because obviously it's beautiful
and it's still life giving, butit can be a little draining too
, and also, if you know, thenyou might be more intentional
about building a village before.
(22:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Because you're not going to need it Exactly.
It's not going to be easy.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And you're going to be ready to talk about it.
It's like, okay, I'mexperiencing those things that
you told me about, instead offeeling lonely and thinking I'm
the only one going through this.
What?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
was the thing that surprised you the most when you
first became an alum.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
How short-tempered I am.
I guess, like it reallyhighlighted the weaknesses in my
character.
I think marriage is veryrefining.
And then you're like, wow, lookat me, I am such a amazing
human.
And then you have a kid, andthen you realize I'm so
impatient with this littlecreature, like what is going on.
And so I think again.
I think we're all on asanctifying journey and this is
(23:07):
just part of those growing pains, realizing that I was giving
the gift to mentor and shepherdthis little soul, but that in my
own strength I'm not equippedto do it because I'm still a
human and I'm still imperfect.
So that really, really rockedme, because I thought I'm so
good with kids I've been workingwith kids, you know and then
(23:28):
I'm like, wait, I'm not aspatient, I'm not, as you know,
amazing as I thought I was umyeah, what um because you
mentioned pouring into youngermoms.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Do you have any resources that you point to to
someone that's about to become amom?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I think classes like I don't know if you do, do you
do mom unnatural?
I just sort of point likebirthing resources specifically.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I wish I did.
I wish I prepared more.
I was not.
I did not feel well prepared.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I think not.
Yeah, I did not feel.
Yeah, I think, prepared.
I think it has to do with, like, podcasts and books, you know,
things to listen to when youhave the time, when you're
nursing, when you're at about 4am, but I think it's mostly just
saying hey, I'm here for you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
One book that you shared recently, even though I'm
I mean, maya's almost eightmonths now.
But the Breathless Prayer, Ithink would have been amazing
resource to have.
It's a book that has reallyshort prayers that you can do
with breath to calm down whenyou're feeling anxious or very
(24:36):
stressed, and I think somethinglike that would have been so
incredible to have but.
I mean now, but also as a newmom, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And the funny thing is I didn't even know about that
book.
My friend Hannah gave it to me.
I think she gave it to me likefor my birthday, maybe two or
three years ago.
And it's funny because she justgave it to me and I don't think
I had shared any.
She just probably read me andwas like I think you need this.
So I took it seriously.
I was like okay it's reallygood.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
You can read a couple of pages.
It's not overwhelming.
You can use that prayer for afew days and you're feeling you
want to move on or try adifferent one, you can yeah, and
it's just like a phrase or abible verse that you like.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
breathe in and meditate on that and breathe out
and meditate on the second halfof it it's just like a sentence
.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
So as part of our conversation, you talked about
how much your life has beenchanged and unexpected twists
and turns, like having a babyduring the pandemic.
With that in mind, how do youlook ahead?
Or do you just give it to Godand see how is that part of your
life?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I think I have been a planner in other seasons where
I felt like I was more incontrol of my choices, aka like
college and, you know, even highschool.
But I think I am in a seasonnow where there's only so much
planning I can do.
Or I guess, like I just stoppedplanning because I realized
(26:06):
that things were not coming tohappen the way I thought they
would.
And I don't know if I stoppeddoing the planning just to like
spare the grief or because I'mjust like living a more
surrendered life.
So I don't necessarily knowexactly why.
I'm I'm very good at planningthe day to day and like the
micro things.
(26:26):
But if you went ahead and askedme, like where do you see
yourself in five years, Icouldn't tell you.
I don't think I have an answerfor that Because I have stopped
planning for the bigger thingsand I don't necessarily think
that's a good or bad.
I think it's definitely good tohave vision, but I think my, my
vision now has become moregeneral, which is just like
(26:47):
yield to what you feel god iscalling you to do and go for it.
And some people do have like avery solid like god is calling
me to this big thing, and thisis the 5-10 year plan and we
might have that happen to us inthe near future, but for us
right now it's just kind of likeokay, we're just trying to be
obedient with like what'shappening now, whether that is
having more children orhomeschooling or doing foster
(27:07):
care or jobs for alex or movingum, so a lot of things are not
strategic.
In fact, we've made lots ofdecisions in our lives that to
most people look really, reallydumb, but we bring.
We knew we were doing them andtaking them in obedience,
because we knew god was callingus to do that just specifically
when it comes to your career,it's the same.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
So you don't plan in five years I'm going to be doing
more or less, or you just takeit season by season I do, yeah,
which again?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
but for some people it's like that's awesome.
I can totally resonate withthat.
Um, but I feel like anentrepreneur, like it's okay to
have vision right, like I think,as long as you're surrendered
to the lord and know that likethings can like take a little
plot twist here and there andand you're not hanging on to any
promise with, like your fistright, but like you have an open
hand, you are probably going tosucceed because you are giving
(28:04):
it to your creator and his plansare always greater.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
So is there anything else that you want to share, or
anything that?
You have in your heart to shareand if not, where can listeners
connect with you?
Take a class with you, get toexperience some of that fun.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
The last thing I would say is I'm very passionate
about encouraging people tobuild their village.
So take the time, you know,take the heat.
Sometimes you know things don'twork out, but don't give up.
Take the time to meet newpeople.
Keep at it, because they areout there and when you continue
(28:47):
to push, like I promise thatpeople will come, you're going
to find your circle.
You're not alone.
It just takes time.
So give yourself grace, buttake those first steps, like, be
the one to initiate.
I have a friend who alwayscorinne, she's our friend and
she always, after we have ameetup or I went over to dinner
to her house and she texts meback and says thank you for
(29:09):
initiating.
I just love that she noticesthat because I am very intense.
Sometimes I'm like so when arewe meeting?
So when is you know?
When is this?
Let's put it on the calendar.
But it takes that.
So just pursue people intenselyand find your village and then,
if you want to come, hang.
I teach at Bar 3 in RochesterHills.
I teach their signature class,I teach their cardio class.
(29:30):
You can find me there in personand we can sweat together.
It's going to be great.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Okay.
So for today's episodetakeaways.
Plans change, and often for thebetter.
Gabby originally studied foodscience with a career in
research and development in mind, but motherhood led her into
teaching, homeschooling andfitness coaching, all of which
bring her more joy and purposethan she imagined.
Raising kids without extendedfamily is hard but possible.
(30:00):
Gabby opened up about theemotional toll of living far
from family and the intentionalwork it takes to build a strong
community from scratch.
If you are feeling lonely inmotherhood, it is important to
be strategic and put effort onbuilding meaningful connections.
Look for a local mom group andstart there.
Gabby's biggest advice is tobuild your village.
(30:22):
Don't wait for someone toinvite you.
Be the one who reaches out,sets the date and pursues your
people.
Your village is out there andit just takes time and
intentionality.
Fitness can be a great outletand connection point.
Becoming a bar instructor gaveGabby a creative, energizing
outlet outside the home and achance to pour into others while
(30:43):
still prioritizing her kids.
Free child care at her studiomade it all doable.
So for moms considering apart-time outlet, gabby's
experience with supportiveemployers and flexible schedules
offers hope and possibility.
Homeschooling can come intovision from seeing other
(31:03):
families that are going throughthat journey.
After seeing a model thatworked, gabby was drawn to the
freedom and creativity ofhomeschooling and now lives it
with her own family, and faithfuels her missions.
So, from navigating thepandemic and motherhood to
building intergenerationalrelationships, gabby shared how
(31:25):
her Christian faith has kept herrooted, purposeful and
open-handed with her plans.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
(31:46):
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A, c-o-t-o.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
(32:10):
dreams, it's just the beginning.
Today, I am joined by Gabriela Rivera, a bar
instructor, homeschooling momand community builder.
Her story is full of intention,heart and joy.
Gabriela is originally fromPanama and her vision for
motherhood was shaped by a blendof cultures and seasons.
What started as a plan forfull-time work evolved into a
calling to stay home,homeschooling her children and
(00:21):
building a life rooted inpresence and connection
homeschooling her children andbuilding a life rooted in
presence and connection.
On today's episode, gabbyshares about her journey into
bar, how she created a villagefar from extended family, and
why she believes being strategicabout friendship is just as
important as being strategic inbusiness.
If you've ever felt lonely inmotherhood or wondered how to
make it all work, in a newseason, this episode is full of
(00:45):
encouragement and practicalwisdom.
Welcome to Little Hands BigPlans, the podcast for moms who
want to reimagine work afterkids and build a life where
family comes first, withoutgiving up your dreams.
I'm Emilia and I know firsthandhow much motherhood shifts our
careers, our priorities and ourpace.
(01:05):
But instead of seeing it as asetback, what if we saw it as an
invitation, an opportunity todesign a life with a little more
freedom, a little more presenceand a little more fulfillment.
Each week, we'll have honestconversations with moms who've
shaped their work and businessaround what truly matters with
moms who've shaped their workand business around what truly
(01:26):
matters.
Whether you're considering acareer pivot, dreaming of a
slower pace or just wonderingwhat's possible, you're in the
right place.
So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's hop right
(01:48):
in and talk about what your work, life or career was like before
kids.
What did you imagine it wasgoing to be after kids and what
actually happened?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
okay, so I thought I was gonna be a full-time working
mom.
I went to school for foodscience so I thought I was going
to be in the food engineeringindustry working r&d long hours.
I don't think I ever thoughtabout what it would look like
(02:21):
once I had kids.
But I come from Panama, centralAmerica, so people in that
country work.
Both parents have to workbecause wages are so low that
that is the only way to trulymake it.
So that's all I knew growing up.
Both my parents worked.
I don't think I knew anybodythat stayed at home with their
(02:42):
family because that was just notthe norm.
So what actually happened afterI graduated, and like the
summary would be I got marriedthe summer before my senior year
, moved to panama with myhusband, so we lived there.
We both work.
I actually ended up going intoteaching preschool, which was
not even the original plan movedback back to the US recently I
(03:05):
guess six years ago, notrecently but we moved to the US
after that and decided to starta family and because I didn't
have a work permit at the time,I just couldn't go into working
right away.
And then we got pregnant and sofrom that moment on, I guess I
just stayed home.
I never went into working.
And then I realized I didnstayed home, I never went into
working, and then I realized Ididn't want to anyway.
(03:27):
I wanted to stay home with mykids.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So that's kind of how it went down so was it before
you were pregnant you knew, orwere you just gonna see how it
went month by month?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
how so decide?
The first time that I gotintroduced to a new concept when
it came to staying at home withthe kids was when I came to the
us for college.
So I started going to churchand all the moms were staying at
home with their kids and I waslike, wait a minute, is that
even possible?
Then I met moms who werehomeschooling and I was like
(04:00):
what even is homeschooling?
That was not a thing in mycountry.
So I thought what a privilegeto be able to stay home with
your kids and provide them withan education.
So I think once I got pregnantI knew that was an option,
because now we were in the USand my husband was probably
(04:21):
gonna make enough to make thatan option and he gave me the
freedom like what do you want todo?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
but I think in my heart I knew that's what I
wanted to do from when we gotpregnant that's interesting that
you say that, because inHonduras it's the same, and when
I talked to my mom about whyshe was not a stay-at-home mom,
she said that was not an option,or if it was, it's just.
Yeah, the wages are so low thatit's very difficult to do that.
(04:47):
So, yeah, that is a perk ofliving here, I think.
Yeah.
So homeschooling, too when didthat come about?
Because ever since I met you,yeah, I think that has been what
you've hoped to do.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, I think going back to that first time when I
saw it in action.
So there was a young couple atthe church I attended when I was
in college that basicallyadopted me.
We're like you're like theoldest sister and I would nanny
for them sometimes, but I got tosee what it looked like to
homeschool.
It was just so laid back and ontheir own schedule, and their
(05:23):
kids were different, like theywere just enjoying life.
They were not chasing aschedule, they were just being
adventurous and learning throughthings that they actually
enjoyed, and I think it justopened my eyes to what was
available.
So I knew from that moment thatI wanted that to be an option
for my kids and so, yeah, sothis was before your Panama.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
So when you went to do preschool did you think oh,
this might help me.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I didn't I honestly, I always enjoyed kids.
I was like this is fun, butgoing into preschool as a
teacher, I think that's when Ireally fell in love with the
concept of teaching.
Yeah, especially those youngages, where they are just little
sponges, want to absorb all thethings that you have to say,
and just seeing them develop soquickly like by the end of the
(06:12):
year they were completelydifferent kids was so rewarding
so now you're still teaching alittle bit, a different audience
you teach yes I do and how didthat come about?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
how did you get into that?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
so when I was in college I got certified to teach
zumba and that was my firstexposure to teaching group
fitness classes and I thoughtthis is so fun.
I love dancing, grew up dancing.
I like all things choreography,coordination.
I like exercising.
I am not somebody that will goto the gym and push the machines
(06:49):
and, you know, like the bigweights, it has to be fun.
So I started that in collegeand then when we moved to panama
, I started teaching dance, butcame back to the us and when we
moved to michigan, the firstthing I looked for was like a
smaller studio that offeredgroup fitness classes and I fell
in love with what they weredoing and I told my husband I
(07:11):
want to work here someday.
Two pregnancies later, babieswere born.
I knew, okay, now is the time,so I just went for it.
I applied, they do a littleinterview and then they train
you, they certify you and now Ilove it.
It's just such a great space tonot just build community but
(07:32):
build people up individually andyeah, encourage them.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And for someone that might want to do that.
How does someone become a barinstructor?
Do they have to be a memberfirst?
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, so you can just approach your nearest bar
studio.
I work specifically for barthree.
They're always looking forpeople that want to become
instructors.
Yeah, you just have to audition, because they're looking for
specific qualities and the wayyou speak and that is
motivational, that you havemusicality, that you can follow
(08:09):
a beat.
Do they train you for?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Other than that, I mean other than that For the
audition, or it's natural talent.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
No, for the audition they give you a template and
they say teach this, you know.
So you're not going in blind,you know what they want you to
do.
And then, if that works out,then they train you.
Now, this is something you payfor because you're getting
trained, yeah.
So it is like a I want to sayit's like a six-week or even
longer process, okay, but by theend of it you feel like a
(08:38):
complete pro.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Yeah.
Because you have you know,applied and really studied all
the things that there are tolearn and then, once you become
a bar instructor, do you have towork a minimum number of hours?
Can you make your own schedule?
What is that like?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
you can work as many hours as you want or, I guess,
as the studio needs you.
I came in towards the end of aseason where they were shifting
schedules and so as a newbie youkind of pick up whatever hours
are available.
But as you continue to grow youcan pick more and more shifts.
I think it just depends on thebusiness.
Our local studio they own fourdifferent studios so if I wanted
(09:17):
to teach in all four of themthen I could get more hours.
But because I love being home,I don't.
It's just, it's honestly mylittle outing, it's like my
little me thing that I get to dooutside of the home and being
with my littles, so it issomething that energizes me.
It doesn't feel like work.
I get to love on people and Iget to build community, so it's
(09:39):
like truly the best of all theworlds.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
I really really enjoy it.
Your class is so fun and whenyou are teaching you can tell
that you're so alive and havingfun and it doesn't feel forced,
and it was really fun to see youdoing that, thank you friend,
it was fun how many hours areyou working a week?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So right now I'm working five.
Well, it's a little longer, butin theory theory, like each
classes count as an hour.
So I'm teaching five classes aweek.
Um, and then it ebbs and flows.
So in the summer I'm just goingto teach four, and when the
winter comes I can teach alittle more again.
It just depends on what theyneed.
A lot of the instructors arestay-at-home moms.
(10:21):
A lot of instructors havefull-time jobs and then they do
this on their free time um, soyeah, is there anyone that does
it full-time as a full-time?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
no, not really, unless they're like, unless
you're a mentor to the people oryou're a manager of the studio
yeah it is pretty much apart-time job, yeah do you see
yourself wanting to add morehours in the future, or what do
you think as your kids are olderand you're still homeschooling?
What do you see as potentialnext?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
There's so much potential.
I think there's always going tobe a limited amount of hours
that I can pick up, though,because there's other
instructors, so we have to allwork as a team to make sure that
everybody has shifts that theycan cover.
I think, eventually, the moreknowledge I gain, the more I can
go into like more personaltraining or branching out,
because right now I'm workingunder a specific brand, under a
(11:15):
specific franchise, but I thinkthat if I wanted to like branch
out of that to build my owncommunity, that would be
available in the long haul forsure and what do you do for
child care when you're working?
so the beauty of this place isthat the managers are so
gracious.
They actually provide freechild care for the instructors
(11:36):
while we're teaching.
So that is that's how I knewthis was meant to be, because I
have a four-year-old and atwo-year-old and they come to
work with me and they get takencare of while I teach that's
amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
So you mentioned that you moved, yes, from Panama and
your family's still in Panamamostly, and then I know your
husband's Alex family is alsonot in Michigan.
So what do you think has beenthe hardest part about raising a
family away from both of yourfamilies?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
that's it.
That's the hardest part.
Not having family around isvery difficult because you don't
necessarily have any help inthe day-to-day, you don't have
people to celebrate holidayswith, necessarily, in essence,
everything that you count yourfamily for.
You have to start all over, youhave to create that family.
(12:31):
So for us the hardest thing hasbeen Just seeing our kids grow
up without thosemulti-generational relationships
that are so important for themto have relationships with their
grandparents.
And thank God for technology wedo get to talk to them over the
phone and FaceTime and whatnot,but it's definitely not the
same.
(12:51):
So I think it can be verydifficult emotionally also to
see other people that do havefamily around and help around as
a mom be like oh man, howdifferent would my life be if I
had a little set of extra hands.
And it also has changed the waywe even go into family planning
, like, do we want more children, knowing that we won't have to
help?
Other people have three, fourchildren and we're like we want
(13:12):
three or four children, but theyhave grandparents coming around
and we don't have that.
And so how do we either findcontentment in what we have, how
do we build that community andthose grandparents that might be
your neighbors, those aunts anduncles that are single people
that are out there that needcommunity, that would love to be
included in a family.
So I don't know, in ourperspective, those people are
(13:35):
out there.
We just have to be diligentabout building that community.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I would describe you as extraordinarily good at
building community.
So what does that look like?
Because I think for you itcomes so naturally.
I don't even know if you reallyrealize how.
Maybe it's not as easy forother people to create groups of
friendships and bring peopletogether and introduce people.
(14:02):
I just met someone the otherday that I met through you, but
you don't even, I don't evenknow if you remember Well,
that's how we even met, remember?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
That is crazy.
That's a crazy story for sure.
I think the first step is to behumble and to acknowledge your
need.
A lot of people want to appearlike they have life all together
and they're fine.
I think it's just realizingthere is a gap.
There is a need that I have.
So how do I meet it?
Personally, I think it has todo with being strategic.
(14:33):
I think a lot of people, whenit comes to building a business,
are so strategic and if theyuse those same techniques that
they use to connect in thebusiness space but they did that
in friendships they would seeso much growth.
I always joke about I don't knowif this happens to you like
people you haven't talked in 20,10, 20 years will send you a dm
(14:55):
on facebook, be like hey, I'mselling now.
Like, if you want this product,and I'm like you're reaching
out to me and you haven't talkedto me in 20 years, but because
it's a business and you believein the product that you have to
sell, you approach people.
Well, what if you saw yourfriendship as a product?
What if you realize that youhave something to give to people
and that it is somethingdesirable?
And I go in that way I'm like,here's my strategy, like I am a
(15:21):
fantastic friend when I devoteto my people, so I'm just gonna
put it out there, right.
And so I think it has to dowith taking that first step,
because why are you bold aboutselling me a product, you know,
but you're alone like you're notthat bold to like build a
friendship.
So for me specifically, I amthe one to take the first step.
I think a lot of people just sitand wallow, kind of like oh man
, I wish somebody would inviteme to dinner, I wish somebody
(15:42):
would invite me to a play date.
No, girl, you plan the playdate right.
Go out in the park, see the momand like make your little goals
.
Like today I'm going to go tothe park, I'm going to meet one
mom and let's go like dating andI'm going to get one phone
number and I'm gonna build thatfriendship.
So I think it's just beingstrategic and on mission.
There's different strategies,right, like you can host big
(16:03):
groups of people.
Um, you can find for me what'skey to find a facebook group.
Lots of areas, have them.
You know, moms and play dates,and so that's how I met a lot of
moms.
And then be strategic, like,okay, now that I've met
everybody in group setting, whoam I clicking with, then
approach them for that nextquote-unquote date you know what
I mean.
Like the next play date.
It takes time, right, but likeif you have a vision of what you
(16:23):
want to build, then you can gotowards that.
So I would say there's so manywise business women that are
probably listening to this andthey had never, ever thought let
me be a strategic with myfriendships as I am with my
business.
The moment that comes to life,you're like, okay, why not?
Because I think a lot of peoplethink, oh, friendships are
something organic, it just hasto happen naturally.
(16:46):
And I think it's kids thathappen in school, right at the
park.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
But now that we're adults we kind of have to add a
little extra strategy there tomake sure that it actually
happens something that I foundhard when I first moved to
Michigan is that it was easy tomeet people but it felt very
small talkish and so it was hardto make true friendships and it
(17:10):
always felt like thefriendships were not going to be
as strong as the alreadyexisting ones because it was so
new and so superficial.
But you're just so intentionalwith the conversations that you
have that I think it makes iteasier to connect.
What is your strategy for thator how how do you do that?
Yeah, because that's somethingthat I noticed right away when
(17:33):
we first met.
It seemed like you right awaywent with like deeper questions,
that I was taken aback by.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I honestly, I just struggle with small talk.
I cannot do it.
It seems very shallow to me andso I'm like.
So, like how are you doing?
How are you doing Really Right?
Like what do you feel is yourpurpose?
Like what you know, what areyou doing with your life?
I feel like a lot of people arejust like whoa, but then I know
that people that do enjoy that,that are seeking for that, are
totally there for that, forthose conversations.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So do you ever get someone with a weird reaction of
I just met and you're asking meyeah, I've had people kind of
like jokes, like okay, we'regood, we're going there.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
I'm like if you want to, totally fine, if you don't.
But I think I also like becauseof my faith I live very much on
mission like I want to knowwhere you are at in your journey
?
What do you believe?
Do we have similar core values?
You know so, yeah, allconversations are interview,
whether you know it or not.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But yeah, I think it's just it pays off to be that
strategic, because then youknow and then you know how to
introduce someone that's goingto be similar friends with
someone else, because you'vealready, yeah, gone deeper.
Um, you talked about faith, yes, and so how does that play a
role in community building?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
yeah, okay.
So I'm a christian, so Ibelieve in jesus and I believe
that all people who trust andput their trust in him will be
saved.
And so, like I think it makesyou be more missional about your
community, like you're alwayslooking for people to share this
good news about jesus with, nomatter how they take it, like
(19:18):
you're just open to sharing that.
Um, people see there's adeepness to you, that you're
very open to spiritual things,that you're going for deeper
conversations.
So I think I think peoplenotice that and so you will
quickly find your communitybecause either they share those
beliefs or they're interested inthose beliefs.
And so in the season of liveI'm in people kind of fall in
(19:40):
one of these categories.
There's people that I'm likepouring into and there's also
generational.
It doesn't even have to be allabout faith, but there's younger
moms, there's like collegestudents who are like a
generation behind or a coupleyears behind.
That I get to pour it intoright, and these are the people
I'm just like wanting to investin because of the little
experience that I have or wisdomthat I can give.
(20:01):
Then there have my peers, thepeople who are in the same
season.
We're in the thick of it.
We look at each other.
We're like no clue what we'redoing, but we're doing it
together.
And then we have the people whoare like the next generation,
those moms that are a coupleyears ahead or a couple of
decades ahead, that we arewanting wisdom from, and I think
that's like what I'm lacking inthe season I'm I'm so
desperately looking for becauseI've had it all growing up and
(20:23):
so now I'm like, okay, where arethose moms, where are those
grandmas that can like infusethat?
So that's like just like in thewomen's circles.
But I think it's also soimportant to have like couples,
if you're married, that um click, like husbands clicks, wives
clicks, the kids get along, um,but the only way to find out
that out is like saying like hey, do you guys want to come over
(20:44):
for dinner?
Hey, do you want to meet at thepark?
Hey, do you want to go to abaseball game?
So it takes intentionality, ittakes, it takes that like
constant pursuit.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
So I think the things that we prioritize in life,
it's just gonna show what'simportant to you looking back,
because because now you're olderthan five, so you've been a mom
for five whole years, Almost.
Yeah.
What would you tell youryounger self before you became a
mom about the journey?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
I think I would tell my younger self there is going
to be a pandemic when you'repregnant and about to deliver
this baby.
You're gonna deliver a baby andthe craziest time ever, your
mom is not gonna come.
They don't even like I thinkthat was the craziest to.
Yeah, your family's not gonnabe able to be there.
I think I would just warn her.
It's gonna be a lot rougherthan you know.
(21:37):
Young Gabby might have imagined.
But, joking aside, I think Iwould have talked to myself
about postpartum, just thatfourth trimester we talked about
, because I feel like I wasn'taware of how hard, how foggy,
how cloudy your mind is and howexhausting it can be, because we
(21:59):
just highlight the good stuff.
You're're going to love it,you're going to snuggle and we
want people to be excited, butwhen do you tell your people?
There's also a really hard sideto this, in a loving way,
without scaring them away,because obviously it's beautiful
and it's still life giving, butit can be a little draining too
, and also, if you know, thenyou might be more intentional
about building a village before.
(22:19):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Because you're not going to need it Exactly.
It's not going to be easy.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
And you're going to be ready to talk about it.
It's like, okay, I'mexperiencing those things that
you told me about, instead offeeling lonely and thinking I'm
the only one going through this.
What?
Speaker 1 (22:34):
was the thing that surprised you the most when you
first became an alum.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
How short-tempered I am.
I guess, like it reallyhighlighted the weaknesses in my
character.
I think marriage is veryrefining.
And then you're like, wow, lookat me, I am such a amazing
human.
And then you have a kid, andthen you realize I'm so
impatient with this littlecreature, like what is going on.
And so I think again.
I think we're all on asanctifying journey and this is
(23:07):
just part of those growing pains, realizing that I was giving
the gift to mentor and shepherdthis little soul, but that in my
own strength I'm not equippedto do it because I'm still a
human and I'm still imperfect.
So that really, really rockedme, because I thought I'm so
good with kids I've been workingwith kids, you know and then
(23:28):
I'm like, wait, I'm not aspatient, I'm not, as you know,
amazing as I thought I was umyeah, what um because you
mentioned pouring into youngermoms.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Do you have any resources that you point to to
someone that's about to become amom?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I think classes like I don't know if you do, do you
do mom unnatural?
I just sort of point likebirthing resources specifically.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I wish I did.
I wish I prepared more.
I was not.
I did not feel well prepared.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I think not.
Yeah, I did not feel.
Yeah, I think, prepared.
I think it has to do with, like, podcasts and books, you know,
things to listen to when youhave the time, when you're
nursing, when you're at about 4am, but I think it's mostly just
saying hey, I'm here for you.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
One book that you shared recently, even though I'm
I mean, maya's almost eightmonths now.
But the Breathless Prayer, Ithink would have been amazing
resource to have.
It's a book that has reallyshort prayers that you can do
with breath to calm down whenyou're feeling anxious or very
(24:36):
stressed, and I think somethinglike that would have been so
incredible to have but.
I mean now, but also as a newmom, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And the funny thing is I didn't even know about that
book.
My friend Hannah gave it to me.
I think she gave it to me likefor my birthday, maybe two or
three years ago.
And it's funny because she justgave it to me and I don't think
I had shared any.
She just probably read me andwas like I think you need this.
So I took it seriously.
I was like okay it's reallygood.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
You can read a couple of pages.
It's not overwhelming.
You can use that prayer for afew days and you're feeling you
want to move on or try adifferent one, you can yeah, and
it's just like a phrase or abible verse that you like.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
breathe in and meditate on that and breathe out
and meditate on the second halfof it it's just like a sentence
.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
So as part of our conversation, you talked about
how much your life has beenchanged and unexpected twists
and turns, like having a babyduring the pandemic.
With that in mind, how do youlook ahead?
Or do you just give it to Godand see how is that part of your
life?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I think I have been a planner in other seasons where
I felt like I was more incontrol of my choices, aka like
college and, you know, even highschool.
But I think I am in a seasonnow where there's only so much
planning I can do.
Or I guess, like I just stoppedplanning because I realized
(26:06):
that things were not coming tohappen the way I thought they
would.
And I don't know if I stoppeddoing the planning just to like
spare the grief or because I'mjust like living a more
surrendered life.
So I don't necessarily knowexactly why.
I'm I'm very good at planningthe day to day and like the
micro things.
(26:26):
But if you went ahead and askedme, like where do you see
yourself in five years, Icouldn't tell you.
I don't think I have an answerfor that Because I have stopped
planning for the bigger thingsand I don't necessarily think
that's a good or bad.
I think it's definitely good tohave vision, but I think my, my
vision now has become moregeneral, which is just like
(26:47):
yield to what you feel god iscalling you to do and go for it.
And some people do have like avery solid like god is calling
me to this big thing, and thisis the 5-10 year plan and we
might have that happen to us inthe near future, but for us
right now it's just kind of likeokay, we're just trying to be
obedient with like what'shappening now, whether that is
having more children orhomeschooling or doing foster
(27:07):
care or jobs for alex or movingum, so a lot of things are not
strategic.
In fact, we've made lots ofdecisions in our lives that to
most people look really, reallydumb, but we bring.
We knew we were doing them andtaking them in obedience,
because we knew god was callingus to do that just specifically
when it comes to your career,it's the same.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
So you don't plan in five years I'm going to be doing
more or less, or you just takeit season by season I do, yeah,
which again?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
but for some people it's like that's awesome.
I can totally resonate withthat.
Um, but I feel like anentrepreneur, like it's okay to
have vision right, like I think,as long as you're surrendered
to the lord and know that likethings can like take a little
plot twist here and there andand you're not hanging on to any
promise with, like your fistright, but like you have an open
hand, you are probably going tosucceed because you are giving
(28:04):
it to your creator and his plansare always greater.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
So is there anything else that you want to share, or
anything that?
You have in your heart to shareand if not, where can listeners
connect with you?
Take a class with you, get toexperience some of that fun.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
The last thing I would say is I'm very passionate
about encouraging people tobuild their village.
So take the time, you know,take the heat.
Sometimes you know things don'twork out, but don't give up.
Take the time to meet newpeople.
Keep at it, because they areout there and when you continue
(28:47):
to push, like I promise thatpeople will come, you're going
to find your circle.
You're not alone.
It just takes time.
So give yourself grace, buttake those first steps, like, be
the one to initiate.
I have a friend who alwayscorinne, she's our friend and
she always, after we have ameetup or I went over to dinner
to her house and she texts meback and says thank you for
(29:09):
initiating.
I just love that she noticesthat because I am very intense.
Sometimes I'm like so when arewe meeting?
So when is you know?
When is this?
Let's put it on the calendar.
But it takes that.
So just pursue people intenselyand find your village and then,
if you want to come, hang.
I teach at Bar 3 in RochesterHills.
I teach their signature class,I teach their cardio class.
(29:30):
You can find me there in personand we can sweat together.
It's going to be great.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Okay.
So for today's episodetakeaways.
Plans change, and often for thebetter.
Gabby originally studied foodscience with a career in
research and development in mind, but motherhood led her into
teaching, homeschooling andfitness coaching, all of which
bring her more joy and purposethan she imagined.
Raising kids without extendedfamily is hard but possible.
(30:00):
Gabby opened up about theemotional toll of living far
from family and the intentionalwork it takes to build a strong
community from scratch.
If you are feeling lonely inmotherhood, it is important to
be strategic and put effort onbuilding meaningful connections.
Look for a local mom group andstart there.
Gabby's biggest advice is tobuild your village.
(30:22):
Don't wait for someone toinvite you.
Be the one who reaches out,sets the date and pursues your
people.
Your village is out there andit just takes time and
intentionality.
Fitness can be a great outletand connection point.
Becoming a bar instructor gaveGabby a creative, energizing
outlet outside the home and achance to pour into others while
(30:43):
still prioritizing her kids.
Free child care at her studiomade it all doable.
So for moms considering apart-time outlet, gabby's
experience with supportiveemployers and flexible schedules
offers hope and possibility.
Homeschooling can come intovision from seeing other
(31:03):
families that are going throughthat journey.
After seeing a model thatworked, gabby was drawn to the
freedom and creativity ofhomeschooling and now lives it
with her own family, and faithfuels her missions.
So, from navigating thepandemic and motherhood to
building intergenerationalrelationships, gabby shared how
(31:25):
her Christian faith has kept herrooted, purposeful and
open-handed with her plans.
That's it for today's episode.
Thank you for spending thistime with me.
I know how valuable your timeis and I hope you're walking
away feeling encouraged to dreama little bigger about what's
possible for your work andfamily life.
(31:46):
If this episode spoke to you,it would mean so much if you
shared it with another mom whoneeds this kind of encouragement
.
Make sure to subscribe so younever miss an episode, and if
you want to keep theconversation going, connect with
me on LinkedIn.
Just search Emilia Cotto.
That's E-M-I-L-I-A, c-o-t-o.
Until next time, remember,motherhood isn't the end of your
(32:10):
dreams, it's just the beginning.
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