043 How To Develop An Abundance Mindset Instead Of A Scarcity Mindset

Icebreaker: Concerts! Extreme, Kid Ego, Taylor Swift Reputation Album

06:47 Mindset: Abundance VS. Scarcity - some new ways to look at these ideas

08:20 You get to choose how to view structure in your life

18:43 Be Water - Bruce Lee, create an abundance mindset by bending around your environment (some Zen philosophy)

29:48 "End Of History Illusion"- Cognitive Bias

31:04 Tim Ferriss with Derek Sivers

43:32 Jen Sincero

44:22 Being generous helps you build an abundance mindset

51:38 Most of what we think of as "personality traits" can be altered as a skill

01:10:16 A powerful summary for developing abundance

Couples - Proven Fitness & Intimacy Practices To Achieve Your Health and Relationship Goals Together!
To learn more or book a brainstorming call, visit HowToFitTogether.com

Contribute to this conversation by hitting the orange button HERE!

Subscribe to our weekly Take 5 Friday Newsletter. Each week we explore our Podcast topic a little further in 5 categories: 1: Fitness Training, 2: Nutrition, 3: Relationships, 4: Personal Development, 5: Points To Ponder

Public Facebook Page
Join Our Private Facebook Group

Follow us on:

Our YouTube: Exercise Demos. Personal Development Takeaways, and more!

TikTok

Instagram

Many of the links provided in our show notes are affiliate links. These cost you nothing to click on, but greatly support our show! Thank you!

We love ALL feedback. Contact us here!

Episode Transcript

Tali (00:16):
I am Tali Zabari.
Hi, I'm

Cody (00:18):
Cody Limbaugh.
Welcome

Tali (00:19):
to the Live All Your Life Podcast.

Cody (00:43):
Well, hello there.
Hi darling.

Tali (00:45):
How's it going?
I'm good.
I'm excited about thisrecording.
Me too.
We are deviating a little bitfrom Philosophy of Fitness, even
though I'm sure fitness willfind its way into today's
episode anyway, always.
It's the water we swo in.
It is, it's the lens in which wesee the world.
But this is kind of our firstinstallment of just the Live All

(01:06):
Your Life podcast as kind of a,a foundational sort of platform.
Yeah.

Cody (01:13):
That's such a central theme.
Mm-hmm.
I think the central theme ofLive All Your Life is living all
your life.
So it's largely personaldevelopment, that type of thing,
self-examination, but personaldevelopment is a wide, wide net.
It is.
Cuz there's relationships andbusiness and finance and fitness
and all that.
Oh yeah.
So Big Bucket.

Tali (01:35):
It's all relevant.
So the podcast, the podcast, theicebreaker that I have for today
is Inspired by the concerttickets that we bought today.
Mm-hmm.
We love to go to concerts.
I think it's something that youand I bonded over very quickly.
I remember when you and I firstmet, I had a whole bunch of

(01:57):
concerts lined up because I justlove having something to look
forward to and live music is thebest

Cody (02:04):
it is.
Yeah.

Tali (02:05):
Awesome.
So what's your icebreaker?
My icebreaker is so you and Iare gonna go see shows that
we're like both extra excitedabout.
Yes.
You are gonna be seeing extreme.
Mm-hmm.
I'm coming with you.
And I'll be seeing Taylor Swift,which is just like a, it's the
Aeros tour, so it's kind of aconcert of a lifetime.
So I'm really excited.
And I wanted to ask which songyou're most looking forward to

(02:29):
hearing or hoping to hear, cuzboth of them have very extensive
discographies at this point.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
What you would love to hear whenyou go to the show,

Cody (02:40):
Mm, I was thinking about this a little bit earlier.

Tali (02:43):
We should link to these songs too.

Cody (02:45):
Oh yeah.
Well, I'll link for to the bandsand songs, et cetera.
The so extreme, the by theirname, they're very extreme, so
they have a very eclectic mix ofmusic over the years.
In general, they're a rock band,so those of you who have not
heard of them which is probablymany of you, cuz they're kind of
a, a niche following.
But if you are into the era ofsay like Van Halen and that type

(03:10):
of rock and roll from theeighties, nineties that's,
that's sort of their genre isHard Rock from that era.
But they are very eclectic.
Like they have a blue song, ajazz song.
They've got some cl like theyhad a whole symphony on one of
their albums.
Whoa.
So anyway I, even though this isa new album tour, I'm hoping to

(03:32):
hear some throwbacks, likethere's one from their very
first album called Kid Ego, andit's just, A cool, funky, hard
rock blues kind of song.
I don't know why it's been stuckin my head a lot lately cuz it's
really in anticipation.
It's from their very firstalbum, like way back.
Oh wow.
So I don't expect to hear it,but it would be cool if they

(03:54):
threw something like that

Tali (03:55):
in there.
Maybe you could just yell itout.
Roll out as a suggestion.
Yeah.

Cody (03:59):
And I was also thinking this is like really I, yeah man,
I'm not gonna go into what?
Well, I have this music book, Ihave a book of that album that
Kid Ego on, which is aself-titled album Extreme.
That was the album.
And I have a music book, likefor the piano or for like guitar
and stuff.
Okay.
I have a music book of thealbum.

(04:20):
So every song on the album is init, like the sheet sheet music
for it.
And I thought about bringing itand see if I could get an auto
autograph or something.
That would be so cool.

Tali (04:28):
That would be cool.
I have one of Taylor Swift'stoo.
Maybe I, I'm gonna be pretty faraway from the stage though.

Cody (04:33):
Yes.
You might have to attach aBoomerang or something in there.
Or like

Tali (04:37):
a I'll bring like a fishing pole.
Yeah.
Those have

Cody (04:40):
reach.
Are you, are you cool with Stagefront when we go to the Extreme
concert?

Tali (04:45):
So part of my experience as someone who went to a lot of
shows is that I would alwayspush to the front, and not only
is that the best seat in thehouse, but I'm also very short.
Yes.
So being in the back is hard.
But I used to go to shows on myown.
Mm-hmm.
So that it was just easy to likeshow up when I wanted leave,

(05:07):
when I wanted move to wherever Iwanted.
Yeah.
We'll

Cody (05:10):
have to get there early.
That's fine.
Okay.
Yeah.
You cool with that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Because I'm hoping to getanother pick too.
I have a pick from the Lash ShowI saw of them.
Like they dropped the pick?
No, they throw'em out in thecrowd sometimes and it's got
Nino's signature on one side.
Oh wow.
And then the extreme logo on theother and I still have it from
their tour that I went to at thesame venue in like the early

(05:33):
nineties.
It was at the

Tali (05:35):
Roseland.
Yeah.
No way.
Really Cool.
Okay.
That'll be really fun.
It's gonna be fun.
For the Taylor Swift concert, Ican't say I have a particular
song in mind, more like an albumand it's the ERAS tour, so
they're all

Cody (05:52):
gonna be, you're cheating.
You always ask me favorites.
Well, I actually

Tali (05:56):
did have one in mind, but when I think about what would be
the most fun is.
Really anything from herreputation album.
Mm-hmm.
And I think one of the reasonsit's so fun is because I very
much underestimated that album.
When it first came out.
I listened to it and I was like,eh, I don't really like this.
It's very synthesized and likereally modern and just really

(06:22):
different from anything she didbefore.
And it has become one of myfavorite albums.
It's very angsty.
Mm-hmm.
Which, you know, always seems toresonate with me.
Mm-hmm.
So it's gonna be awesome.
I'm, if anything, I'm just morehung up on what I'm gonna wear.
Yeah.

Cody (06:38):
That's not new for you though.
It's not.
Yeah.
Well now you have two concertsto shop for.
Yeah.

Tali (06:46):
Yeah.
That's exciting.

Cody (06:47):
Yeah.
So we have a, a general topicthat we wanted to touch on
today, but we may just choose toriff.
This is just gonna be aconversational podcast, but we
had an interesting coachingcall.
Earlier today, and the idea ofan abundance mindset versus a
scarcity mindset came up, but itwas used in a very different
context than the way I havealways thought of it.

(07:09):
And so I might just let you kickoff with the ideas that you were
throwing around with our clientthis morning.
Sure.
And and then we'll kind ofcircle back around to some of
the more I don't know,traditional or the one, the, the
ideas around it that I'm usedto.
Sure.
Exploring

Tali (07:26):
well as the coach in our equation, who takes care of the
nutrition side of things.
We were talking about, you know,the shift in food choice that
our program is prompting and ourclient had mentioned something
about.

(07:47):
Maybe initially feelingrestricted by her macro count or
what we're asking of her.
And then she mentioned somethingabout shifting her mindset to
having more of an abundancefocus where just because there
are guardrails or boundaries orparameters or whatever you wanna

(08:10):
call them in this methodology,there's a, a big world on that
other side that she can workwith.
Mm-hmm.
And I think what's so importantabout f you know, thinking of it
that way is when we feelrestricted, it's easy to feel
rebellious or defiant.
And a lot of unfavorablebehavior can come out of that

(08:34):
feeling of restriction.
And so the thing about abundancemindsets is that it's really a
decision.
Mm-hmm.
You know, you can look at thesame.
Problem, the same scenario.
And, you know, try on both ofthose methods.
And they'll both be valid.
They'll both totally work everytime.

(08:54):
And I think just leaning intoabundance or considering
abundance just like opens up awhole world that sometimes we're
just shut off to because ourfocus is maybe more negative or
we're feeling any, like, somesort of like fear or newness
that might not be.

(09:18):
Usual to us.
And so it just feels like a badfit at first, because we're
being asked by our coaches orour professions or whatever to
maybe do things that we're notused to doing.
But that doesn't mean it'sinherently bad, or it doesn't
mean that it's inherently illfitting.
Yeah.

Cody (09:35):
The, the reframing of the same situation can be really
powerful.
There's this idea of peoplegoing on diets.
I mean, this has been going onfor forever, it seems like.
I mean, I, within our culture,it's been.
Decades, if not centuries.
Mm-hmm.
Of, of dieting in differentforms.

(09:55):
And it's always sort of based ona restrictive diet.
Like you can't have this and youcan't have that, and you can't
have too much of this.
And the ideas that we weretalking about today is like,
well look at all the things youcan have that are good choices
and look at all theopportunities you have to, to
nourish your body in positiveways and still be able to

(10:18):
indulge once in a while insomething that is just purely
for a pleasure sensation.
Yeah.
And.
So it's this, it's a littledifferent context, like I said,
from the way I've thought aboutit before, but it's kind of a
way of reframing guardrails, ifyou will, or structure mm-hmm.
In a way that does not feel likeoverly restrictive.

(10:40):
Yeah.
And there's some psychology thatI was thinking of during our
call of sort of like therebellious teenager cliche.
Mm-hmm.
And in my experience as a parentand also as a teenager, and
you've done it all.
I've done it all.
And and just kinda looking atsociety in general and, and just

(11:01):
noticing this about people thatany time, anytime there's a
feeling of constriction to thepoint of There's kind of a
threshold, I guess you will.
And I think different peoplehave different thresholds for
this, but the more restrictedyou are, it seems like the more
likely you are to swing way inthe opposite direction as an act

(11:23):
of rebellion to thatrestriction.
And so I feel like a lot of, Idon't feel, I think, I think a
lot of, mm-hmm.
The rebellious teenage years isreally it's a reaction to the
parenting styles of being overlyrestrictive, never trusting your

(11:44):
child.
Mm-hmm.
And not, right.
The

Tali (11:46):
rebellion phase is not a given.
Right.
It really is dependent on theparenting.
Yeah.
I really

Cody (11:51):
think it's prompted by the parenting style.
And unfortunately I think it'sprompted by the parenting style
before they're teenagers andthen they get to be teenagers
and have a bit of strength.
Physically and, and mentally tomake decisions that are, you
know, you can't do when you'resix years old.
It's like now you've got adriver's license, now you have a

(12:13):
peer group and you might have anolder friend who can buy you
beer or whatever it is.
Like you have access to thingswhen you're a teenager that you
didn't when you're younger, butparents are still trying to
parent as if they're still sixyears old.
You know, like you got, here'syour bedtime kind of thing.
It's ridiculous.
This is just, I really think auniversal.

(12:35):
Psychological mechanism though,because if you think about like
prohibition on substances, youknow, if, whether we're talking
about the war on drugs or theprohibition of alcohol, it
causes crime waves across thenation.
Mm-hmm.
And some of that is becauseyou're, you're taking what was
once freely traded and making itillegal, which means that the

(13:00):
value of the item goes up.
You've just made it morevaluable because you've
restricted all the morealluring, restricted supply.
So you've made it very lucrativeand you've made it so that the
only people who are willing tomake that money are people who
are high risk individuals.
And therefore you take what wasperhaps a safe trade and put

(13:23):
something you could buy in thestore.
Yeah.
And, and put it into criminalorganizations.
That causes all kinds ofviolence and, and that kind of
thing.
That's just how prohibitionworks in an economic sense.
But psychologically, I thinkthere's a lot of validity to
think of, like, people want todo this thing even more because

(13:44):
they're being told they can't,and they're, it's like, I'm a
grown ass adult.
Why are you telling me what Ican and cannot drink or eat or
put in my body or whatever?
So there's this societalrebellion as well.
Oh, yeah.

Tali (13:57):
Well I think that's what makes macro counting a really
appealing option for changingyour body composition or trying
to get your diet in check isbecause it really gives a lot of
freedom to that individual, likewhether they're using a coach or
not.
But you have, there's nothingthat's off the table.

(14:18):
It's just the ideas that youhave to track closely enough so
that you can see how yourchoices are.
Impacting your body, impactingyour ability to eat other
things.
You know, comparing how manycalories are in like a couple of
beers and, you know, maybe likea lean in green meal.

(14:40):
Like, it's gonna be easy to makethose decisions the more that
you maybe corner yourselfbecause you've like overdone it
in an area that you know, wasn'tvery satiating or doesn't make
you feel very good or doesn't,you know, appeal to your goals
very well.
And so kind of like what youwere talking about with
parenting and maybe economicrestraints, that there is

(15:06):
structure, but it also givesfreedom.
And I think with our client,what we were, you know, I'm
talking about, what it made methink about is how, you know,
even with this quote unquoterestriction, it's opening all
kinds of doors.
It's pushing you to prep yourfood ahead of time so that
throughout the week you can, youknow, go about your business.

(15:28):
Things are easier, moreefficient.
You just grab it, you go.
It prompts you probably to cookmore as well, which is a great
skill to have.
Mm-hmm.
To think about people notknowing how to cook nowadays is
crazy, but I'm sure it'severywhere just because of the
convenience of food and what'sthat like DoorDash, or like

(15:49):
whatever is going on these daysthat I'm sure is really, really
nice to have sometimes.
But I know for me personally,when I did the paleo diet back
in college, you know, everythingis, everything you're eating is
a whole food.
And I had to learn how to.
Cook whole foods.

(16:10):
Mm-hmm.
Otherwise I would just be eatingraw vegetables all the time.
Mm-hmm.
Or it would just be really blandand boring, but it just opens up
a whole new world that I thinkcould be really exciting.
And a lot of that is just makingthe decision and like, and
seeing the inherent optimism oropportunity in these

(16:30):
restrictions.
Cuz we talked about in ourpodcast last week that for
progress to be made, it doestake diligence.
Yeah.
You know, it, it does take lesssexy, repetitive and structured
effort.
You know, you can't just wishyourself somewhere and just end

(16:51):
up there.
Yeah.
You know, you absolutely can seewhere the wind takes you and it
could be really interesting, butif you have something
particularly in mind foryourself.
There are lots of different waysto get there, but I'm gonna
assume that they all takeintention.

Cody (17:07):
Yeah.
Yep.
Totally.
And not intention in the, in theidea of like, well, I intend to
do this one day, but intentionin your actions, you know, be
very intentional in themovements that you're making and
awareness, like all these sortof, it's just all over the, the
zeitgeist of our culture rightnow is like to be more present

(17:29):
and to develop awareness andmindfulness, et cetera.
All these things, these kind ofsynonyms that are being thrown
out in sort of woowoo ways, butmm-hmm.
It's just real, like you have topay attention to what the hell
you're doing.
Otherwise, you'll just kind ofget, you know, there's one thing
to about, like, you know, gowith the flow and see where the
wind takes you kind of thing.

(17:49):
But the thing about acting likewater and.
Like going with the flow is thatyou'll end up at the lowest
spot.
I mean, interesting.
You know, you kinda have torealize that you have choices
and not making a choice is achoice.

(18:10):
And so you can't make a qualitychoice unless it's an informed
choice.
Sure.
And so to be informed, you alsohave to be aware and consciously
aware and and analytical and atleast know what the hell you're
doing.
I
love

Tali (18:26):
how water in a lot of forms is used as an analogy for
different dynamics.
Mm-hmm.
I think about like that timethat my mom was talking about
differences in religion and howthey're all streams mm-hmm.
And how they all kind of can runparallel in their own validity,

(18:47):
but kind of.
Either start from the samesource or end at the same place.
I can't quite remember.
Mm-hmm.
And then thinking about, youknow, there are folks who think
like life is like swimmingupstream, you know, and that's
like a real thing that happensin nature with salmon, you know,
things like that.
And I remember for before myweightlifting meets, I had been

(19:10):
reminded by a friend to be like,water.
And I think it was a Bruce Leequote.
Gosh, we'll have to link to it.
Cause I, I don't reallyremember.
Do you?

Cody (19:20):
Yeah.
Well, I don't remember the wholequote.
He's like giving a little speechin an interview kind of thing.
But I wish

Tali (19:24):
I could remember what it is, and I don't really remember
what it was supposed to mean,but it was very useful at the
time.
I remember that.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think it had something to dowith like, trusting your body to
some degree.
Mm-hmm.
And allowing yourself to kind oflike roll with the punches in a

(19:45):
way.
Because in weightlifting.
It can be, it can be looked atas you kind of like dominating
the bar or like telling the barwhere to go, which these are
things that we actually say inthe sport to like inspire maybe
more aggression or more speed orpower, whatever it is.
Mm-hmm.

(20:05):
However, the more you can workwith the bar and the more
adaptable you can be fromposition moment to moment the
more successful you'll be.
Mm-hmm.
And that takes being incrediblypresent in a very short
timeframe.
Yeah.
Well,

Cody (20:22):
there's a couple of analogies to that zen philosophy
which is where Bruce Lee wasgetting all that was from Zen
and Ed as far as weightliftingwithin the movement.
You know, something I learnedearly on from like Coach Bergner
and those guys in CrossFit thatwere kind of heading up the
weightlifting program was tomove around the bar.

(20:44):
Like the bar should not movearound you.
Mm-hmm.
That bar should be traveling onan efficient path and you're
moving your body around it.
Totally.
So that's kind of a zen sort ofphilosophy

Tali (20:54):
and as an onlooker you would not realize that's what
happened.
Yeah.
Those like, it probably looksvery

Cody (21:00):
similar.
Looks crazy.
Yeah.
But the Slowmo videos are greatto watch that.
It's so cool to just watch thatbar.
Just having this like smoothpath and this athlete's body
bending around it and curvingaround and landing or, you know,
landing under it in thatreceiving position that's in
alignment with where the baralready wanted to go.

(21:21):
It's Oh yeah.
So cool to see.

Tali (21:22):
Well, and it can, that, that position or like that
meeting of the athlete in thebar can always be better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It can always happen sooner.
It can always happen.
Higher or whatever.
But I do remember at a pointbeing conscious enough within my
lifts, and I think of snatchesspecifically cuz they were, they

(21:42):
were, I knew it was gonna cometo fitness at some point.
Snatches specifically becauseit's such a quick and fluid
movement.
But it also wasn't my bestevent.
I had a tendency to just likethrow them behind me.
But I remember getting to apoint where I would be able to
cho correct within the lift.
So even though generally themovement pattern would be the

(22:03):
same each time, slightly moreweight or, you know, being a
little bit nervous or whatever,like can make all kinds of
changes to what.
You're doing to that bar.
And I remember being able tocorrect those things within the
lift, which is incredible to do.
Yeah.
Because there's kind of afeeling sometimes that as soon

(22:25):
as that bar leaves the floor,like, well, let's see what
happens.
You know, because it all happensso fast.
Oh, yeah.
And like your adrenaline is likeoff the charts.
And if it's really heavy, thenyeah.
But that presence is, it's areally incredible feeling and
it's really hard to coach.
I'm like, gosh, when, when doyou squeeze this sort of stuff

(22:48):
in?
And I think that's why we have apodcast about it, because it's
all in there.
It's just like implementing itis, I haven't figured out how to
do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Cody (22:59):
Well, I feel like the other zen aspect of the
weightlifting is within, like,say the competition, which
you've talked about before.
You've touched on recently whereif you miss, if you miss a lift,
like as soon as.
As soon as you get a red cardand you've missed the lift, it's
over.
It's in the past that

Tali (23:20):
nevermind.
Sorry, what?
Red card?
Yeah.
Well whatever lights you werejust watching, bend it like
Beckham last weekend.
So,

Cody (23:27):
so the point being though is that the moment it's done,
it's literally in the past, soyou don't, it does not need to
affect your attitude for thenext lift.
Oh yeah.
That's up to you to be affectedor not affected by it.
And so if you're kind of in thatzen allow things to happen sort

(23:47):
of presence, then maybe you canapproach the next lift as if
this is my first lift.
Even if it's your third attempt,it's the only one you have.
Well, so it's the one.

Tali (23:56):
And that can kind of appeal to the abundance idea
too, in terms of like, you'reobviously narrowing your chances
for a total when you're missinglifts.
Mm-hmm.
Like that if it's straight outof the gate, but.
I think also just being able tolike, let go of those lifts and
not let them intimidate you or,you know, get into your head for

(24:20):
the next lift.
Like, it has nothing to do withwhat you're gonna do from here
on out with your life, so.
Yep.
You know, letting it go isreally in your best interest.
And I think leaning into anabundant ideas, like you get,
you can like re you can like putall of your energy into the next
lift, like Yeah.
Rather than feeling a certainloss mm-hmm.

(24:41):
At that point.
Yeah.

Cody (24:44):
Interesting.
You can kind of shift your goalsdepending on where you ended up.
So, you know, maybe your goalgoing into the meat was six for
six.
Mm-hmm.
And then you miss one and it'slike, well, You know, let's see
if I can place on the snatch andthen you miss another one.
It's like, let's see if I can,let's total, let's total.
Yeah.
And that's your new, your newobjective.

(25:06):
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
No.
And you can keep, you can keepdoing that.
Like maybe by the end of themeet you're, it's like, well, I
showed up, you know, and it'slike, yeah.

Tali (25:15):
I think that's all so celebratory.
Yeah.
I think it's worth celebratingall of those things because it's
easy for like the tiniest thingsto defeat us, like in any given
arena or any given moment.
And, you know, we might notalways set ourselves up
perfectly to have success or thebest outcomes, but we also have.

(25:43):
The opportunity to change courseall the time.
And that's what I'm alwaystalking about when it comes to
creativity, is that there'sroom, or we're creating a
situation where we can choosehow we wanna move forward.
Mm-hmm.
And that to me is creativity,not feeling beholden to my
default.
Or, you know, if someone saidsomething that bothered me,

(26:06):
like, is my whole day gonna beruined?
You know?
Right.
Being able to think about itdifferently or even address it
or something, you know, thatcould transform the experience.
To me, that's an opportunity forcreativity.
And that's really something thatexcites me about that coaching
call that we had earlier todayis that she's starting to see

(26:29):
how, oh, this really majorchange in my life that feels
really different to me and maybeI.
Restrictive at times actuallygives me a lot of opportunity.
Yeah.
And that's so cool.
I was staying in the car afterlike, gosh, I wish all of our
clients were like this.
Mm-hmm.
Because I feel like that kind ofstuff we're trying to constantly

(26:50):
make clients aware of, of like,this is an amazing opportunity
for yourself.
Like, and you've done so much toeven just show up here and be
open to the it's ideas.
But for somebody to be coming upwith them on their own and
reflecting that back to us issuper exciting.
It makes me feel like we havethe right, we're like sending
out the right messages or wehave the right infrastructure

(27:14):
and the methods that we're usingto inspire that.
Mm-hmm.
So that's really cool.
Hmm.

Cody (27:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, just one more analogyI think to what we're talking
about is when you and I firstgot on a fairly strict budget
and how freeing that was, itwasn't restrictive, it was
freeing because you know, itfelt restrictive maybe at first.
But then when we realized we hada gap in our budget to where all
of our needs were taken care of,and then all of our sort of

(27:42):
recurring wants were taken careof, and then we had a little
money left over, we could usethat money however we wanted,
guilt free.
It felt like, ah, you know, youdon't have to worry about it.
Mm-hmm.
There's no stress around it.
And there was so it was.
Sort of a, a framing of the ideaof being disciplined and sort of

(28:02):
quote unquote restrictive withmoney actually gave us an
abundance feeling where we couldgo out and enjoy dinner and not
be stressed out about the moneywe were spending having dinner
out.
Well, I'm glad

Tali (28:15):
that you brought up money because I actually have like a
few ideas around money and Iactually didn't write that one
down, so that's definitely agood point.
And you know, there are timeswhere we've been like, really
flush with money and it'suncomfortable for me.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (28:31):
Because it's not being directed.

Tali (28:33):
It's not being directed.
And like there wasn't that likedeep satisfaction of like
everything in life being takencare of because I think
sometimes when we have more thanwe need, it's easy to.
Be like misguided or like thatmoney to be allocated in
different ways.
Mm-hmm.

(28:53):
Then maybe we would want it to,because it's like, oh yeah, it's
always gonna be there.
But in a way that's an abundancemindset too.
Like one of my notes here islike, money is always out there
to be made.
Oh yeah.
You know, and that's somethingthat like both of us have really
struggled with our beliefsaround money and our, you know,
family history with money.

(29:14):
And so there's a lot that needsundoing, but it's really easy.
Like if you grow up with not alot of money or you're, you
yourself have not had a lot ofmoney, it's really easy to kind
of spiral into the scarcitymindset.
And less about like how muchmoney you actually have, but

(29:36):
your ability to get it.
You know, that's been a hangupof mine for a long time being
like, wow, I'm just like one ofthose people who like, doesn't.
Know what I'm doing or I'm notdoing the right things to like
get money.
Yeah.
There's

Cody (29:49):
something I wanted to talk about about that, which is this,
we have this bias.
I think there's actually apsychological bias that's named,
like, I think there's a name forwhat I'm trying to describe, but
I don't know.
It, it's this idea though wherewe feel like we are who we are
as sort of a a permanence to whowe are.

(30:12):
And that really goes against a,an abundance mindset in the,
especially with things likemoney or relationships.
I've, I've heard people talkabout this in relationship, like
destined to be alone, or I Mm,mm-hmm.
I have a bad picker.
You know, I've always pickedthese A-holes or whatever.
It's like, well, you're right,you're right

Tali (30:32):
because you keep saying it, you're like, it's like a
self-fulfilling prophecy.

Cody (30:35):
Right.
And that's what I was trying toget at.
It's like I, if you say, well,I.
Could never, or I, I can't be amillionaire cuz I don't have
the, the qualities that it takesto do that.
The answer is, you are, you'reright.
You're, you're absolutely right.
You don't have those qualities.
That does not mean that the fiveyear from now version of you
lacks those qualities.

(30:56):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Like you can change.
The qualities about yourselfthat are needed to have the
abundance that you desire.

Tali (31:04):
I did hear some of that podcast you were listening to
earlier, cuz this kind ofreminds me of, there was an
anecdote about like some kidssaying he hated olives.
Yeah.
And whoever is in the show, Idon't Who are you listening to?

Cody (31:17):
I'll link to it.
It's a Tim Ferris podcast.
Okay.
And I've, I'm spacing on theguest's name, but he's a
recurring guest.
He's been on there a lots,they're

Tali (31:24):
friends and okay.
Yeah.
Is that who was telling thestory?
Yeah.
So he says that his son says, I,I hate olives, like forever and
always or something.
And he is like, today, today youhate olives.
Yeah.
And to instill that in a childof like, you have the potential
to be an entirely differentperson with different
preferences, differentcapabilities I think is so rad

(31:46):
cuz gosh, how long?
Yeah.
I feel like most of us are likekind of a, a little late to that
party.
Yeah.

Cody (31:52):
Well it's like when you say, this is something that I
tried to break the habit of whenI was very young, I heard it.
You know, I, I'm kind of abusiness leadership seminar
junkie.
I mean, I've hundreds andhundreds and like a wall full of
books on these kind of things.
And one of the things that wasexpressed is to not tell your
kids we can't afford that or,We're broke and things like that

(32:17):
because you're just reinforcingthis as if it's a permanent
situation.
You know, you can say did you

Tali (32:23):
say right now like,

Cody (32:24):
tack that onto the end?
Well, you can say not, you know,right now, or we don't need that
now, but it would be cool to getthat later on, you know, or
something like that.
And let me, let's put a plantogether if you want that toy.
You know, like there's a wholelot of things that you can tell
your child besides, we can'tafford that honey.
And Derek Sivers, I just wantedto put that on.
Theres, he's the guest on thatpodcast I'll link to.

(32:46):
Well but I think that's a reallyvaluable way of thinking in
that, that there's fluidity inour life and to say that I don't
have this or I don't have thesequalities.
That may be a true statement,but you're putting permanence on
it when you're using it as anexcuse to not try.
Totally.

Tali (33:03):
And I even have a real life example that just happened
today.
You and I stopped at the sportscorral because I told you there
was a pair of jeans that Iwanted to try on.
Mm-hmm.
And It's my favorite pair ofjeans.
I've bought them a milliontimes, but my legs rubbed
together so I often blow holesin my pants.
So I buy them a lot.
Anyway, we went to go to try onthe jeans and they were on sale.

(33:26):
Yay.
And they were the last pair inmy size range because they're
actually one size too small.
And you know, I was reallyconflicted like walking around
the store like, do these lookgood?
Should I just get them?
And you were like reallysupportive of that because I
know, you know that clothingshopping not only is an

(33:46):
excitement for me, but like italso causes a lot of woes for me
as well.
And I.
Probably I was like definitelyleaning in at a point to being
like, oh my God, this is like agood opportunity.
Like who knows if I'll haveextra money later to spend on
this.
Like, so I should do it nowbecause they're on sale and

(34:07):
they're right here and you know,maybe that means I'll save money
tomorrow when I go shopping withmy friends out of town.
And and then I'm not exactlysure like what came over me, but
I think you had a, a part toplay in this when you said like,
well if you don't find somethingtomorrow, like come back.
Mm-hmm.
Like you can get them then.

(34:28):
And you know, when I get mymindset on something, it's
really hard for me to let it go.
Yeah, me too.
And I was really excited thatmoment.
And I even said after when wewere in the car, like that was
actually a moment for me.
Like I was able to just liketrust that something better will
come along.

(34:48):
Mm-hmm.
I don't have to settle.
That's what you said.
You don't have to settle.
And that's a really importantfeature, I think when we're
talking about abundance versusscarcity is like what you were
talking about with, you know,being broke or saying you can't
afford things is there's,there's this acceptance
sometimes of like, this is justwhat it's, this is what it is.

(35:11):
Mm-hmm.
An abundance mindset is leaninginto possibility, into things
that we really don't know.
Yeah.
But gosh, what that does for us,just to simply think Yeah,

Cody (35:22):
it's, or open ourselves up to, it's tough to develop that
on your own, but I think throughexperience, if you're paying
attention and, and you're makingefforts, you can develop this
sense of trust in yourself.
You might use the word faith,but it doesn't need to be sort
of a religious connotation, butjust a trust that it, you're

(35:44):
gonna be, You're capable andyou're fine, you know, you're
able to take care of yourself.
This kind of sort of came overme probably in my late thirties,
early forties, by the time Ifelt this confidence because a
loss of a job felt like the endof the fucking world.
Like, oh my God, what am I gonnado?
And now it's like, it's to thepoint where it's not stressful

(36:05):
at all for me anymore.
I've completely let that go.
You know, just to give a reallypersonal analogy, I don't think
you'd mind me sharing.
The, these kind of personaldetails, but we, we kinda have a
nest egg of money at one pointfrom, you know, through the
pandemic and all thatrestrictions like the, we had

(36:26):
ever had.
And Most I ever had personally.
And, and we had an agreement oflike, okay, if it gets down, be
below this certain point, thenI'm gonna go get a job.
We're trying to figure out abusiness plan, but if we run out
of time to get the business planand get things going, then I'll
just go get a job.
And it was kind of getting rightdown to the wire and I never was

(36:46):
very stressed out about it.
And

Tali (36:48):
what, well, you talked about thresholds earlier and we
have different thresholds whenit comes to that, right?

Cody (36:52):
We do.
But I guess my point is, is thatit was kind of like no big deal.
I'm like, jobs are everywhere.
People are having a hard timegetting employees enough
employees.
So I went out and literally thefirst place I walked into, I got
a text later that day that theywanted me to come in the next
day to start work.
Right.
You know, it was like, it wasnot, it was like, yep.

(37:14):
I kind of figured that's whatwould happen.
And then fast forward a year, wedecided I'm gonna quit that job
to go, you know, to try tolaunch the business.
And we had a certain timeframein order to do that, and it's
kinda like getting right down tothe wire.
And then this month is probablyabout a month later than we
really wanted it to happen, asfar as our savings timeline.

(37:36):
Mm-hmm.
Maybe two months later.
But here we are.
I've, you know, we, our businessnow has matched the income that
I was making at that job.
Right.
And it just ha, it just happens,you know, you don't have to
think of everything as beingstagnant.
Like, Ooh, I'm unemployed.
Our savings is dwindling.

(37:57):
Our savings is dwindling.
And that's the reality thatyou're living in.
It's like, well, yeah, but we'reprobably gonna make more money.
A couple months from now, beforeit's gone, before the savings is
gone.
And sometimes you just have tohave an abundance mindset to, to
know that resources are alwaysavailable.

Tali (38:16):
Well, and I think you, like, I know I need a slap in
the face when we get intosituations like that to be
reminded of that abundancemindset.
Because I think about even theagreement that we made about our
savings, getting down to acertain point before we made any
moves to get jobs or mm-hmm.
And, you know, the job thing,like when I think about like you

(38:40):
getting a job, it's not, it'smore about like, you're gonna be
gone all day.
We won't see each other.
We will be more tired when we dosee each other.
And there's all this stretch oftime that we're not
communicating and that's notreally ideal for us and like
what we had in mind for our lifetogether.
And so, You know, all of thatcomes to mind when it's like, I

(39:02):
don't wanna get to that pointwhere you have to get a job,
because I know that we're gonnabe entering in that phase of
life.
Yeah.
And that's not really where welike to be.
But that whole suggestion aboutgetting down to a certain wire,
that was just something that wasmodeled for me when my mom tried
to start her business or launchher business.

(39:23):
And she did.
But it, I don't think it wasprofitable enough.
Soon enough.
Soon enough.
And you know, as an outsider itwas like, gosh darn, I wish you
like, kept with it.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, I don't knowenough about my family's
finances.
We are working on being moreopen about that kind of stuff.

(39:44):
Mm-hmm.
Because the more illusion andsecret and like closed off it
is, we're not helping eachother.
Mm-hmm.
Like, it's not teaching anybodyanything.
And I know that's somethingthat's really important to my
family.
To be collaborative in that way.
But, you know, money is one ofthose things that people feel
weird talking about.
Yeah.
And so I have it in my headlike, okay, well even if you

(40:06):
weren't profiting, like I'mgonna assume that you were still
in a financial position that youcould have kept going.
And, you know, that was hard forme to see to, you know, see her
go back to a job.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and kind of like puther dreams on the shelf for a

(40:27):
moment.
And I, you know, here she is,like resurging it again mm-hmm.
A couple years later.
And so it's kind of like what wewere talking about shopping
where, you know, maybe it's anot right now thing but.
I think it's, you need to havesome people in your corner to
like remind you of that.

(40:48):
Yeah.
Like you and I have a tendencyto flip flop sometimes, like
when I'm losing my shit and I'mlike, everything's like falling
apart.
What are we gonna do?
You have this way of like seeingit all so clearly in the moment
and reminding me of all the goodthings that we've got going on
and all the things that are ontheir way and all the potential.
Yeah, absolutely.
And then when you are in thatposition, it's so easy for me

(41:09):
to, to see all of those goodqualities too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I'm sure just like anythingelse, it just takes practice.
Yeah.
That's like, there are probablymany opportunities throughout
the day Yeah.
To do so.

Cody (41:21):
I mean, that's what I was saying is I, I think it takes
practice because I felt so whenI was younger Yeah, it was just
so devastating to lose a job orto not be able to pay a bill.
It just felt like, how are weever gonna change this
situation?
And looking back, I'm like, man,I feel like I was making it way
harder than it needed to bebecause I realized at the time I

(41:43):
had little kids and it's a big,you know, it's a different thing
when you're trying to like feeda family of five on one person
working and the other one in,you know, in the home helping
raise kids and all that.
So circumstances were different,but still I think my maturity
was a problem because I had thisfear of, I let fear really
dictate a lot of my actions.

(42:04):
And so rather than be creative,I would go get more jobs, you
know, and working two or threejobs and restrict yourself

Tali (42:10):
further.
Yeah.
To that point of pain, which wetalked about last week.
Like, there are ways to gettraction that you're not digging
yourself a hole.
Yeah,

Cody (42:20):
yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Not everything has to suck forit to ru ruts or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I kind of wanted to bringthat up is that this idea of
abundance mindset is veryclosely related to the idea of
just having faith that in, orconfidence in yourself, like
building that confidence becauseI've seen people, it just kinda

(42:41):
breaks my heart when I see somany people.
This is such a common story thatit's almost the ma, I mean, it's
a vast majority of our societyis working in jobs that they
hate.
I'm like, why are you doingthat?
Like, what I can see doing itfor six months a year, it's a,
it's a phase.
It's, it's an emergencysituation.
You gotta pay some shit.
You gotta, you know, get yourstuff together, you get a
rhythm.

(43:02):
But why are you doing that for15 years straight?
Like, you have the option to dosomething else.
You're just telling yourself youdon't.
Sure, but that's speaking.
You're telling yourself, well, Idon't have the skills.
Well, then go get the skills.
Like, if you wanna change yourjob, spend one hour every day.

(43:22):
Studying something else that ismore in line with the thing you
wanna do, you know?
Well that's, start developingsmall practices and making moves
to change who you are.

Tali (43:32):
Well, that's the thing about abundance is that it's,
it's trying to illuminateopportunities and pathways and
resources to you.
But if you're in a scarcitymindset, you can't see it.
Mm-hmm.
You really can't see it.
And I remember, I think it wasthe, you're a badass or you're a
badass with money.
One of those books, Jen Sincero.
Yeah.

(43:53):
She said, I remember there wassomething about like the color
red or the color yellow.
And like training yourself tosee those things if you're
conscious of it.
Mm-hmm.
And then all these things willshow themselves, like to
whatever you decided to payattention to.
And that's exactly it.
It's a decision to.
Make yourself aware of thosethings.

(44:14):
Oh yeah.
I mean, if you're not aware ofthis idea between abundance and
scarcity, sure.
You might be at the mercy oflike whatever the fuck you're
feeling.
Yeah.
Or external circumstances.
But yeah, step one is likehaving agency self two is like
advocating for that agency andlike Yeah.
You know, trying to see pathwaysthat you can work with.

(44:36):
Mm-hmm.
And just the last thing that Iwanted to say about money is is
it Dave Ramsey I was talkingabout earlier today?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Who said that?
Or one of his pillars of like,financial freedom is to share
your wealth.
Yeah.
And to be generous with it.
And I think generosity is in andof itself could be a topic of

(45:00):
this conversation, just becauseI know that sharing things like
material things has beensomething that I have only.
Leaned into more recently inlife.
Mm-hmm.
I love you so much, sister, butI'm just thinking about like
growing up with a sister wherelike we would take each other's

(45:22):
things or ruin each other'sthings and I became kind of like
greedy mm-hmm.
As a result.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think it's solelybecause of you, Doria.
I love you.
But I think that that's kind ofthe first example that comes to
my mind.
You know, we grew up together,those lessons are potent and you
know, lately I've been reallyexcited about like, giving gifts

(45:44):
on people's birthdays or Yeah.
You know, we were talking aboutgiving.
These clients of ours who havereally helped us generate more
business.
Like give them a thank you andlike treat them to a dinner out.
And that definitely appeals toan abundant mindset because if
you weren't, you would be kindof scrooger and hoarding.

(46:06):
Yeah.
All of your resources.
And there's something about notbeing frivolous with money, but
like, feeling free with moneythat is tapping into that
feeling.
Oh yeah.
But it's tricky because I havealso tapped into that feeling
before and like run myself intohorrible situations.
Yeah.
I was, I put on there not reallysure exactly how to

(46:26):
differentiate the two, so,sorry.
Yeah.

Cody (46:29):
I, I put on here act in abundance, but not fool, hearty,
you know, like you can't befoolish.
Like you have to kind of know.
Kind of comes back to this wholeconscious awareness thing.
You have to know where you're atand you know, I, I think
everybody should have a budget,whether you're a billionaire or
you're barely scraping by.
When you have to have your basescovered, you know, you have to

(46:50):
know.
Yeah.
You have to know where you're atand what you're doing.
And I, and, and I, I reallybelieve that that's true for
anything that you want to haveprogress or stability in your
life, is to be consciously awareof it.
That's why I'm so big onjournaling or tracking your
food, or tracking your workouts,tracking your reps, like.
People, I get so much pushbackfrom people I don't wanna track,

(47:11):
I don't wanna track.
It's like, well, how do you, howare you ever gonna know if
you're making progress, ifyou're not measuring anything?
Mm-hmm.
You have to, you have to.
If, if you want to makeprogress, if it's just a
floating down stream situation,then okay, but don't expect to
get somewhere that you want togo.
Coaching isn't really

Tali (47:30):
about that.

Cody (47:31):
Yeah.
So yeah, I didn't getsidetracked.
Oh yeah.
So the, the abundance thing, I,I really think that you can
train your brain to acknowledgethat there's abundance for you
by being generous.
And I was just thinking of evena smaller example, which is,
Something that I still have to,every once in a while remind

(47:51):
myself of is like tipping.
I'm a generous tipper.
I love to tip 20% as sort of astandard, and they, they, I'm an
18 percenter.
Well, like, they kind of have toprovide shitty service to get
less than 20 from me.
It's not the other way around.
But there's a, that's great.
There's also this sort of, wellI've, I've waited to, you've
waited tables, we've, we knowwhat it's like to be in those

(48:14):
jobs, but I've

Tali (48:15):
never waited tables where I earned my own tips though.
Well, yeah, I have, I was alwaysin a pool sort of situation, so
Yeah,

Cody (48:23):
I have, and it's disappointing when you go like
above and beyond and you're justworking your butt off and the
people are like really nice anddigging it and you're, you know,
have fun conversations andthey're ordering expensive
drinks and they're just runningup this tab and then you get a
tip that's like 5% and you'relike, motherfucker, I have to
pay taxes on that 5%.
Like, yeah, that's insane.
It's so, I've just always beena, a generous tipper, but.

(48:45):
There's this

Tali (48:46):
curious, sorry, just before you move on, when you're
getting takeout, what's yourtipping philosophy?

Cody (48:52):
So that's another example of like, do I need to be stingy
about this?
Like, why not?
Like why not give him a tip?
So I always give a tip, but it'sprobably more like 10 or 12% to
the kid.
Cuz I know a lot of thosesituations, they're sharing it
with the kitchen staff.
It's like they did the same workthat they would have without the

(49:14):
waiter involved, just cuz I'mgrabbing it and taking it to go.
So anyway, I just, I don't know.
It's something I enjoy doing.
But there's this sort of memegoing around like a cultural
meme, if you will, of howridiculous it is that you can't
buy a coffee nowadays with a,without a tip screen being
shoved in your face.
It's like, do I really need totip you?

(49:36):
How is that different?
I'm just, let me get to it.
Sorry.
I'm So, it's like this meme oflike It's ridiculous to have to
tip on a cup of coffee.
Like all they did was pour a cupof coffee and hand it to you.
Do they deserve an extra buckfor that?
And I'm like, the, the, theother question is, is a dollar
so critical to you that you'regonna miss it?
I like, are you gonna think ifyou give a dollar to the

(49:57):
barista, are you gonna thinkabout that two days later?
Like, oh man, I could really usethat dollar now.
Like, if that's the case, youprobably should not be going out
for fucking coffee, like brewyour own at home and take, you
don't have to tip no one if youdo it at home.
Yeah.
I mean, you get a whole pot ofcoffee for the, for the price of
one cup.

(50:18):
So that, I thought about thatjust the other day.
I had this weird thing whereit's like, man, dude, I really
need a tip for the freakingcoffee.
And then I was like, Cody,you're not gonna miss this
dollar.
No one's gonna fucking noticethis dollar, but.
They will notice, they willnotice the a hundred people that
they've helped out today andhave a hundred dollars worth of

(50:38):
tips at the end of the daythat's, that's meaningful for
them and it's meaning less tome.
So why not just give them thedollar and know that I, I'm
fine.
I'm gonna be fine.
Yes.
And if you

Tali (50:50):
were like in a position where you were maybe needing to
cut back on some things and likemake coffee on your own you
know, sure.
Lean into that.
But if you are getting servicefrom somebody else, like that is
a a more favorable exchange.
Yeah, A good will exchange.

Cody (51:09):
Yeah, for sure.
But I think that there's someimportant psychology there for
the person who's giving themoney, because if you're getting
in this habit where you'rehaving an argument with yourself
over a dollar like.
There's, that's that scarcitymindset.
It is.
And y it's a practice.

(51:30):
Just like so many things that wetalk about are, are a practice.
You know, I, I love to look atpersonality traits and emotions
as practices.
They're skills.
You know, people think of, well,that's just who I am, that kind
of thing.
It's like, well, have you triedto not be that?
Ouch.

(51:51):
But things like gratitude forinstance.
Yeah.
You know, you don't just feelgrateful cuz something good
happened to you.
You can actually feel gratefulbecause you practice feeling
grateful.
Like you make a daily practiceof intentionally looking for
things to be grateful for.
And it helps you to be someonewho's more grateful in general.
You, these are practices and anabundance mindset is the same

(52:13):
thing.
You can practice havingopportunities come your way
because you're seeingopportunity everywhere.
If you're the type of person whogives that, go ahead and give
the dollar tip 20%.
Or what were the other examplesyou were talking about?
Just like, oh, like giving thankyou a gift card to somebody as a

(52:34):
thank you.
Mm-hmm.
You know, these kind of thingsare training your brain also.
It's a practice of being inabundance and thinking about the
world in an abundant way.
Yeah.
So I think generosity is a hugepart of developing the, the
mindset around abundance.

Tali (52:52):
So I wrote this note that kind of feels like a, a segue
from what you just said, butpeople who are minimalists is at
a byproduct of an abundant.
Mindset.

Cody (53:05):
Funny, I was thinking about this during that podcast
that I was listening to again,okay.
With Derek Sivers, where he is asuper minimalist cuz they were
joking about the fact that TimFerris like, went over to his
house and they're having scotchwhile they're on the podcast.
They're like drinking scotch.
And he's like, you have threeglasses in the house.

(53:27):
That's all he has is threeglasses.
And then he is got a couplebamboo ones for his kids so that
he doesn't break the glassglasses.
That's it.
That's all he has.
And so he's like, so they don'tentertain often.
He's like this super, right?
He's like this super minimalistguy.
And what I was thinking is, it'skind of funny, my, my dad's the

(53:48):
opposite of a minimalist.
Yes.
My parents are a bit hor likehoarders.
Not to a degree of.
Like it's not gross.
It's not outrageouslydisgusting.
Like the, the TV show hoarders,they don't like hoard cats or
anything like that.
Yeah, there's like not, yeah,there's not, yeah, it's, it's

(54:10):
not to that extreme, but it'sway over our threshold.
Like way over.
Oh yeah.
So there's kind of like piles ofshit everywhere that we're
trying to like clean up aroundthe property here.
The property's, just for thoseof you who are just tuning in,
this property's been in thefamily for like four generations
of people who held onto a lot ofshit.
So my great-grandfather boughtit in the forties.

(54:33):
And you think of thosegenerations, it's kind of a
cliche, like, well, if you livedthrough the depression, you
don't throw anything away, cuzit might be valuable one day
and.
It kind of got me thinking aboutthis whole idea of minimalism is
sort of like a new richsituation.
You kind of have to have a lotof privilege in order to think

(54:54):
in minimalist terms because thatmeans you have no storage for
food, for instance, no backup,you know, clothes of different
size because you can always goget it.
Yeah.
Cuz eh, I can always go getwhatever I need whenever I want
it kind of attitude.
Interesting.
And to be a minimalist meansthat you're not storing things

(55:14):
for a time when you might needit in the future.
So in a way being minimalist isa little bit more of an
abundance mindset and it'salmost like the new, it's almost
like the opposite.
You know, it used to be peoplewho had a lot of stuff were rich
people cuz they had, they had alot of stuff and now I think

(55:34):
it's kind of flip flopped.
We are inundated with stuff inour country like, I mean, I've
seen homeless encampments wherethey have like piles of stuff,
you know, everywhere.
And it's like, but that'sbecause they, they might need
it.
They might need like these pilesof coats to survive the winter.
Like they're desperate.
And so people who areminimalists who have one coat,

(55:57):
you know, two pairs of shoes,three glasses in their house,
you know, those kind of things.
It's kind of a, a symbol of,it's almost like a status symbol
if you think of it that way.
That is so

Tali (56:07):
interesting.
Yeah.

Cody (56:09):
Kind of counterintuitive, but it's almost like it rich.

Tali (56:11):
But it came up.
Yeah, it came up because I knowthat greed as I have like, Maybe
been a little too critical ofmyself, but like that feeling of
like, wanting to keep everythingthat's mine mm-hmm.
And not give it away.
Or like recently I just wentthrough like my makeup drawer

(56:31):
and normally I would wanna sellthe things that I don't use
anymore.
But I actually went around toall the people at my work being
like, do you want this?
Like, nice, just, do you wantit?
And I felt really good aboutthat.
But there's something aboutgreed that, you know, that goes
along with accumulating things.
Mm-hmm.
Or just having a strong hold onsomething.

(56:53):
And the idea of abundance islike that faith that you were
talking about.
Mm-hmm.
And that's a letting go of sortof sorts.

Cody (57:01):
Yeah, absolutely.
I was thinking of that when Iwas cleaning out the basement
yesterday and going through andit's like, well, We could get
rid of that and that and thatand that and that.
And then I was remembering thatsome of those things I was
pointing at getting rid of arethings that I advocated for
saving two years ago.
Well, when

Tali (57:18):
you offered to get rid of the couch that has been in your
family for like a hundred years.
Yeah, I was shocked.
Like I work, I even told peoplelike Cody said that he wants to
get rid of the couch.
I didn't say it.
I'm sure you know that I feelthat way.
Mm-hmm.
Because I'm not delicate with mydesires to purge.

(57:38):
But the fact that it came fromyou was major.
Like I know that somethingshifted because I think you know
very well that likerelationships or good memories
do not have to be tied to thingsand Yeah.
You know, there are things thatI have that are very precious to

(58:01):
me and I know I also have anabundance of things that are.
Of high value, but like, maybedon't have a sentiment to me.
Mm-hmm.
And there's a lot to unpackthere, I think, but especially
if it's like something thattakes up space or you can't use
it, or it looks like hell, youknow, like to have those

(58:24):
feelings of like, I'm ready tolet this go, I think is really
healthy.

Cody (58:28):
Yeah.
And I, I think it really is inline with the abundance mindset
though.
Like, I'm feeling reallyoptimistic and I'm trying to
surround myself with like-mindedpeople who have an abundance
mindset.
And so it's easy for me to godown to the basement and look at
these tables and be like, yeah,we might use that one day, but

(58:48):
we might not.
And I don't want to store it inthe meantime.
In the meantime.

Tali (58:52):
Yeah.
And so if we, because themeantime is really precious.

Cody (58:54):
Yeah.
And so it's like, well, if Ineed an end table, In the future
that I don't have now, I'llfucking buy it.
Like I, let's just have thefaith that we can afford an end
table if we need fun on.

Tali (59:05):
Well, you're giving yourself credit too.
Yeah.
In that moment.
Like, it's cool.
I'll be able to handle that inthe future.
Yeah.
When it's time.
Yeah.
But there's something abouthanging on to that stuff, that
scarcity mindset that, like, youare, you're not giving yourself
credit.
Yeah.
That's my, you're not putting,putting faith in yourself.
Yeah.
That's my point.
Yeah.
I think that's reallyfascinating.

Cody (59:26):
Yeah.
And of course I think thereneeds to be a bit of a balance,
because that doesn't mean to beshortsighted either.
You know?
It's fool hearty to not preparefor anything that could go wrong
in the future.
You know, whether it's, whetherit's insurance or a little bit
of food supply on hand.

(59:46):
Or, you know, I like, there'sthis, preppers get a, a bad rap
as being sort of these paranoidpeople who are like preparing
for the end of the world orwhatever, but it's like, you
know, If something like MountSt.
Helen's blows up and the wholecity is covered in ash for a
week and you can't drive, thosepreppers are looking kind of

(01:00:08):
smart now.
They have food.
They don't have to go to thegrocery store and fight for
people stealing stuff out oftheir grocery cart.
I mean, I've had,

Tali (01:00:15):
that was so nuts during Covid.

Cody (01:00:17):
My God.
Well, I have, I mean, evenbefore Covid people act this
way, especially in the citieswhere we had, we had a snowstorm
that was supposed to comethrough Portland and remember it
was like my normal shopping dayand you were like working a
double.
On a Friday and I had like ahalf a Friday off or something
like that.
So I was doing the groceryshopping on my own.

(01:00:38):
Is this when someone stole yourcarts?
Yeah, this was like the normalshopping day for us.
So I wasn't out there because ofthis impending doom.
I was just out there cuz it wasFriday and that's when we did
our shopping.
So I was in WinCo doing ourshopping, but the weather
forecast was, oh, it's supposedto snow tonight and the whole
city's gonna be like on lockdowntomorrow and better stock up.

(01:00:58):
And I was, it was absolutelyinsane.
There were lines from thecheckout to the back of the
store and this is a huge store?
Oh yeah.
WinCo.
It's like a huge fuckingwarehouse.
So there were lines in the dairyaisle Wow.
Of WinCo, which is at the veryback, wrapping around the side
of the store, up to thecheckout.
Oh, it was like insane and justpeople just swiping stuff off

(01:01:19):
of, of shelves and running.
It was like madness.

Tali (01:01:23):
It's like the Easter egg hunt that we saw.
It was

Cody (01:01:25):
madness.
And I, I got to almost done withthe shopping of this freaking
nightmare.
Like, I don't know why I didn'tjust leave, but I I, I know why
we didn't leave cuz we had atiny little fridge at the time.
So we, we didn't, oh yeah, ifyou're outta food, you're outta
food.
If you're outta food, you'reoutta food.
So I was just like, okay, I'vegot, I gotta get this done.
So but I had forgotten like onepiece of produce and so I just

(01:01:48):
left my cart because it was socrowded in there were this
people everywhere.
So I left my cart and ran backand got this one piece of
produce and came back to my cartand half the shit in my cart was
gone.
People had just grabbed stuffout of my cart.
This is madness.
And then to top it all off,there was no snow.
It was like a false report.

(01:02:09):
The snow never happened.
So all these people were actinglike a-holes just disgusting
animals for no reason at all.
It's just this sense of fear and

Tali (01:02:21):
scarcity mindset.
Yeah.
I mean we've even appealed to itin marketing, you know, or for,
I know I've done it withclients, like I only have one
spot left.
Yeah, I actually have a few.
I like creating scarcity fuckingworks cuz people are, you're
tapping into like thatanimalistic.
Yeah, and

Cody (01:02:39):
I really try to worry honest with that.
When I signed up a couple ofclients ago, I was like, I.
Yeah, I wasn't really gonna takeout any clients, but I'll take
you on and that'll probably beit.
But then our priorities shiftedand I decided I needed more so I
wasn't lying.
But at the same time, yeah, itcreating scarcity is a marketing
tactic that people use all thetime.
Mm-hmm.
You know, only three spots inonly

Tali (01:03:01):
three spots.
Or call the next five minutes.

Cody (01:03:02):
Yeah, exactly.

Tali (01:03:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That I used to love watchinginfomercials.
I discovered them I think, inmiddle school and like I could
just watch them for hours.
FOMO is, that's so entertaining.
Yeah.

Cody (01:03:12):
FOMO is a real thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And getting back to thatabundance mindset, I've been
trying to really resist fomo,cuz I'm guilty of it as well.
Like, oh, I gotta sign up forthis seminar.
I gotta take this class now andI gotta jump on this deal, or
get these tickets ahead of timewhile they're on sale so I can
save$5.
Well, we also

Tali (01:03:32):
did that today.
We're like, let's get thesetickets while we have money.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.

Cody (01:03:37):
So, yeah, I think there's definitely a balance of not
acting foolishly.
You know, having, having acupboard full of food is not
make you crazy.
I don't think that you have tobe a minimalist, but at the same
time, hoarding in the off chancethat someday you might need this
thing and you're never gonna bein a financial position to
replace it, especially when it'ssomething that you could sell at

(01:04:01):
a yard sale for 10 bucks.
It's like, do you, how if youcould sell that table for$10 at
a yard sale, that also means youcould just buy that table for 10
bucks at somebody else's yardsale.
So do you really need to holdonto it?

Tali (01:04:13):
You're making me feel like I should go through my jewelry.
It's hard.
There's also, I would say that'slike my hardiest area of life
jewelry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really like it.
But I really don't wear verymuch jewelry at any given time.
Not these days.
It's just I have like grandideas like design-wise and I'm

(01:04:34):
like, oh, that goes with this.
I should probably be channelingthat into someone else, like to
be someone's stylist orwhatever, have a fashion blog or
something.
Cuz I have a lot of opinionsabout those things.
Mm-hmm.
I don't necessarily care to ownthem though.
Yeah.
But owning them seems to be theonly way they interact with it.
Not great for the wallet, notgreat for how much space we

(01:04:58):
have.
But it's something to thinkabout.

Cody (01:05:03):
Something to think about.
Yeah.
So I think that one of the mostvaluable things about developing
an abundance mindset is not justfor your own personal sense of
security and faith, you know,faith and like less stress and
all that.
But it also literally presentsopportunities.
Mm-hmm.

(01:05:23):
Because you're aware ofopportunity and There's an
example I'll give that could bepolitically charged, but it
doesn't matter what your opinionis on the oil industry or oil or
gas and energy and the planetand all this, it's has nothing
to do with what I'm saying.
Okay.
But as an analogy, in theseventies, there was this, you

(01:05:45):
know, period where they thought,oh, we're running out of oil.
And so there was gas rationingand you know, you could only go
to the pumps on odd days if youhad this license plate or even
days on that license plate, andthat could be Oh wow.
And there was this big scarearound the world's oil supplies.

(01:06:06):
And then a couple technologiescame along, fuel injection,
replaced carburetors.
So all of a sudden you doubledthe gas mileage of every car on
the road.
And then fracking became atechnology where they could get
very small deposits of Petroleumproducts out of the ground.
Mm-hmm.
That were not accessible beforebecause of the new technology.

(01:06:29):
And that's something that wekind of forget is like, just
because something isn't feasiblenow doesn't mean it's never
gonna be feasible.

Tali (01:06:37):
What's the saying?
Something is the, the mother ofinvention, is it scarcity?

Cody (01:06:43):
No, I think it's it's pretty like need is the mother
of invention.
I don't think so.
I think, I think exploration isthe mother of invention, but I
Can I be

Tali (01:06:52):
scarcity?
I'm gonna gimme your

Cody (01:06:54):
phone.
Ask Chachi p t what is themother of invention?
Ew.

Tali (01:07:02):
That was such an automatic response though.
I should really think about thatcuz I don't necessarily feel
that way about chat g p T Itjust feels it just, it's a
little wiggy at times, but I seethe opportunity.
Mm-hmm.

Cody (01:07:17):
Well I guess my point is that progress is made by people
who have an abundance mindsetbecause they're not worried
about what can't be done today.
The thinking about what could bedone tomorrow.
Necessity

Tali (01:07:28):
is the mother of

Cody (01:07:29):
invention.
Yes.
Which I disagree with.
You do.
Yeah.
Because all that's necessary isfood and shelter, but somehow
humans have built spacecraft,you know, like that wasn't
necessary.

(01:07:50):
The most invention, I think is,is our need to explore and
create.
And,

Tali (01:07:57):
but if exploration is a necessity,

Cody (01:08:01):
is it?
Well, I said need, right?
Well, I, I guess it's a built-intrait for humans.
Mm-hmm.

Tali (01:08:06):
But, and that's how we've gotten to Chad G P t.
Yeah.
It was inevitable, right?
I think so.

Cody (01:08:14):
But yeah, I think if you're, if you're interested in
an opportunity thinking in anabundant way is how you get
there.
And that's how society getsthere.
Like scarcity mindset throughouta society is largely what causes
people to go to war.
You know?
I mean, it's either a religiousthing or it's a resource thing.

(01:08:39):
And most of the time I thinkit's a resource thing and people
are fighting for resources.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like, well, maybe.
Maybe creativity and an attitudethat there's enough for everyone
to live in abundance is reallywhat we need instead of fighting
over it.
Whether that's politically,people do it here, you know,
right here in the states thatthis whole left right moral

(01:09:00):
superiority thing that bothsides of the political spectrum
seem to have I think is reallyrelated to a scarcity mindset.
And so I think it's valuable forus as individuals, but also for
society, for us to get out ofthat rut and realize that humans
are really creative and we cansolve a lot of problems.

Tali (01:09:20):
Well, it begins with the individual.

Cody (01:09:22):
Yeah.
But yeah, I mean, that's whatsociety is.
It's just a bunch of well, it's

Tali (01:09:25):
individuals.
Well, people forget thatsometimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Cody (01:09:30):
So that was the, yeah, not, not every, Resource is
infinite.
I'm not saying that, but itmight as well be like, well,
cause there'll be something elsethat comes along.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So will oil reserves run outsomeday?
And the answer is yes, butthere's also a lot of other

(01:09:51):
technologies that are takingthat place.
Totally.
So yeah, it's just, there'salways opportunity to, to grow
and to access things that youcouldn't access before.
Mm-hmm.
But it takes that intention.
So you wanna sum up,

Tali (01:10:09):
sum up?
Oh my gosh, that was a lot

Cody (01:10:11):
to sum up.
I know.
But I think that we touched on afew things of like how to
develop the mindset.
So we talked about generosity.
Well, knowing about it, it's,yeah.
Knowing about it's being aware,I think generosity is one.
You can train yourself to bemore abundantly minded by acts
of generosity, acts ofgenerosity also moving on.

(01:10:38):
Decisions that are notfear-based.
Yes.
So like I said, I, it just hurtsme to see so many people, the
vast majority of people in jobsthat they hate and that suck,
and they just get stuck therefor years and years at a time.
I just don't think there's muchof an excuse for it, no matter

(01:10:58):
who you are, where you comefrom.
And I know that's a really broadstatement, but to me it's like
if you look at being in a jobfor 10 years, it's like, was
there not an hour in, in theevening that you could have
spent developing your skills insome other way?
Or even if it's just three hourson a Saturday and that's all you

(01:11:19):
have.
Mm-hmm.
But if three hours in a Saturdayis directed toward change for
five years, how could youpossibly be in the same job that
you hate?
That you've hated for the wholefive years.
Yeah.
That doesn't make sense to me.
So I think developing thatabundance mindset also can be

(01:11:41):
practiced in beginning to makemoves for change.
Whether you believe it'spossible or not, make, make the
news, you're investing inyourself.
Start, start that action andtaking action is what's gonna
cause you to believe, havefaith, if you will.
Yes.
It's not the other way around.

(01:12:01):
I think that developing apractice that is the version of
yourself that you would ratherbe is how you create change.
Not thinking about who you wouldrather be and hoping that some
opportunity comes along.

Tali (01:12:16):
Well, I think this topic brings.
Up a lot of previousconversations that we've had,
like the power of association.
Mm-hmm.
That's a huge one.
Yeah.
It's a huge one.
If you're surrounding yourselfby PE with people who don't feel
this way mm-hmm.
You're gonna go right down with'em.
Yeah.

Cody (01:12:33):
I recently started a mastermind for largely because
of that.
I wanna associate with other menwho are building something, who
are going places and who havethis sort of attitude that life
can be more.
So let's go ahead and give it ashot, you know?
Mm-hmm.
And one of the friends on there,I will, I will have on this

(01:12:54):
podcast when we have thetechnology to do it, I need a, a
laptop upgrade before we can doremote podcasting.
But just as an example, AUM hadthis funny thing happen.
So he's got a, a swimming pooland the pump went out.
And he called a repairman tocome fix it.

(01:13:15):
And it was gonna be a few daysand a few hundred dollars
probably.
And so he went on YouTube to seeif he could troubleshoot it and
found out that there's only likefour things that can go wrong
with a pump.
It's, it's either this, this,this, or this, depending on what
it's doing.
And so he was able to quicklydiagnose it, go out and get the
part and replace it for like 20bucks or something like that.

(01:13:36):
Instead of a couple hundreddollars and waiting for three
days.
He figured out how to do ithimself.
And then he realized that guywas gonna charge me 200 bucks.
This could be an interestingside gig.
And so he set up a website, aone page website that was like
free put ads on Craigslist,which was also free.
Mm-hmm.
And he was making over$4,000 amonth fixing people's pool

(01:13:59):
pumps.
He had no training, he had noexperience, no background.
It's just like, oh, here's aneasy opportunity.
I'll just do this for a fewmonths in this like little lull
that I have through the summerand, and.
Basically created a business forhimself overnight.
But that's because he has anattitude of like, well, what
could this possibly do?
Like he, yeah, he has thatattitude of like, of taking that

(01:14:23):
potential opportunity and justexploring it and actually acting
on it and doing it.

Tali (01:14:28):
Alyssa and I had a business idea the other day
where we help people get rid ofthings in their closet and we
were gonna call it Cutthroatcloset.
Nice.
Yeah, because we think we're anexcellent panel.
For helping people makedecisions about that.

Cody (01:14:44):
You're really good at it for Yeah, you are good at it.
I was gonna say for otherpeople, but I've seen you do it
in your own closet, so I have togive you credit.
Thank you.
When I first met you, I waslike, oh, damn.
Like, are, are you sure youwanna get rid of that?
Are you sure you get, I, I stillget in that way sometimes
because there'll be some dressthat I think you'll look amazing
in, but you haven't worn it fora while and you're just like,
it's, it's not my jam anymore.

(01:15:04):
So,

Tali (01:15:05):
well, in a lot of those clothes I get at discount
because I love thrift shopping.
Yeah.
And so to me, very, there arethings that I experience like
the sun cost fallacy, where I'mlike I should hang onto this cuz
I saved up a lot of money for itor whatever.
Yeah.
But that's not most of my stuff.
That's some of my stuff, but notall of it.

(01:15:26):
Yeah.
And so I feel like that rotationis okay.

Cody (01:15:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad you bring broughtup the sunk cost fallacy because
that's, Pretty closely relatedto this too.
I don't, I think if you have anabundance mindset, that's what
gets you out of the sunk costfallacy.
Mm, mm-hmm.
But it has to be.

Tali (01:15:46):
Well, and think of like your dad and what you were
talking about with all thethings that he's acquired over
the years.
Like Yeah.
That is so sunk.
Cost fallacy to the max.
Yeah.
Yeah,

Cody (01:15:57):
yeah, yeah.
I paid this much money for thatthing and I haven't used it yet,
but it might come in handy inthe future.
And so I don't wanna get rid ofit cause I paid all this money
for it.
And then

Tali (01:16:05):
multiply that by a thousand.
Yeah.

Cody (01:16:08):
Yeah.
So, well, I think I think we dida fairly good job.
Hour and 15 minutes on this onetopic.
Where can you see that?
And we were just winging it.
Oh, cool.
So how are you feeling about

Tali (01:16:21):
it?
I thought that was great.
I'm excited

Cody (01:16:23):
about it.
Cool.
Well, I do wanna tease a futurepodcast scenario.
For those of you listening, weare gonna have some shorter
podcasts.
We're gonna be putting out, I'mthinking 20 minutes or so,
instead of the hour long formator hour plus where we just drill
down into a very practical.
Topic.
And what these are gonna be is alittle bit less philosophical

(01:16:46):
and more just action-based ideasaround things like fitness or
improving your thinking aroundsomething.
The sky's the limit cuz live allyour life is a broad topic as we
started this podcast by sayingas we intended it to be.
But these shorter podcasts willbe a little bit more concise on
a specific idea or action thatyou can take or practice or

(01:17:09):
something to try and a bit moreshareable.
I think because you'll be ableto maybe think of somebody who
wow, this this idea reallyapplies to their situation and
it's a short enough podcast thatit's not so intimidating.
I know some people can't wraptheir head around an hour and a
half long, so Yeah.
Or just don't have time.
So watch for those in your feedif you're subscribed and if

(01:17:30):
you're not, why are you notsubscribed?
Hmm.
Should be so.
I think that's all I got.
How about you?
I think that's all I

Tali (01:17:38):
got too.
Okay.
I love you.
I

Cody (01:17:39):
love you too face.
See you soon.

Tali (01:17:44):
This episode was produced by Tali Zari and Cody Limbaugh.
Check out our writing, coachingservices and home studying
adventures at live all yourlife.com.
For show notes, resourcesmentioned, or to submit a
question or contribution, clickon the podcast tab.