October 7, 2021 • 19 mins
When is serving others and self-sacrifice no longer healthy? Lady Grey shares her thoughts on toxic selflessness and the chronic people-pleasing prevalent in society today. Learn some strategies to improve your boundaries, communication, and self-love so you can better balance your own needs with your compassion and giving and avoid burnout and resentment.
---
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BIO
Lady Grey is an award-winning international entertainer and educator. She has been at the helm of numerous performing arts organizations and has performed everywhere from Broadway to the Sydney Olympics. She currently serves as Artistic Director of Lady Grey's Lovelies and leads international sell-out retreats for women (Outrageous Adventures for Outrageous Women).
Connect with Lady Grey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Hello, you're lovelyhumans. Welcome to the live
outrageously with Lady grayPodcast. I am your hostess, Lady
gray. And we're here to talkabout living outside the box,
breaking down barriers, thinkingdifferently and making a bigger
impact on the world. If youwould like to be part of a group
of other outrageous humanbeings, please feel free to join
(00:33):
the League of outrageous womenon Facebook, a group of over 500
women from all around the world,or find us on clubhouse every
Thursday for coffee talk, andevery Sunday for Girl Talk with
Lady gray. I would really loveto connect with you and get to
know you better. So I hope thatyou'll join us.
(00:58):
Well, welcome back to season twoof live outrageously.
I'm so glad that you're here.
And I thought I would just takea quick second. And thank
everybody for all of thefeedback after our first season,
you asked for more solo shows.
And so this season will be moreof a mix of solo episodes, and
(01:23):
interview shows with guests, Iwant to really laser focus on
helping you become a worldchanger. So I have a great show
for you. Today we are talkingabout the myth of toxic
selflessness and peoplepleasing. One thing that I see a
(01:43):
lot of time and time again istoxic selflessness when we put
other people's needs before ourown without getting anything in
return from it. And it's notjust harmful for us, but also
for the people around us thatare taking advantage of our good
nature. Later on in the program,we will take a little brain
break. And I'll share some of myfavorite things with you,
(02:06):
including some of thespectacular events that are
happening as Broadway opens backup. And I hope you'll stick
around because later on in theprogram, I'm going to share with
you five tips for shaking up thestatus quo and having a more
fulfilling life. So stick aroundto the end of the program for
that. And I think we'll closetoday out with a little dance
(02:29):
party. Today we're talking aboutpeople pleasing and toxic
selflessness. A recent studyfound that over giving is
becoming more common, people aretaking on way too much
responsibility. And they'refinding that they're not able to
say no when they need to becauseof the guilt associated with it.
(02:50):
This can lead to toxicselflessness and people pleasing
behaviors, which can be harmfulin the long run. selflessness
and self sacrifice has been madeoverly noble in our society. So
much so that people oftenconsider it their highest goal.
And they end up completelylosing sight of their life
(03:13):
purpose, and even their destinywhen caring for other people.
Please don't misunderstandservice and giving to other
people at its root is abeautiful thing. And it's
important. I shaped my entirelife around helping other people
and have been at the helm ofmany, many organizations that
(03:35):
ministered to people and helpedthe poor and reached out to
single moms and the elderly andprison ministries and all kinds
of different projects. So at itsroot again, giving and kindness
and charity and goodness are allhealthy behaviors. It's when
(03:56):
they take a turn and becomeunhealthy because they have a
codependent nature that we haveto start looking at whether or
not they've become toxic. Andtoday we're taking a honest look
at our lives, and how we'veinteracted with society and the
other people around us, and howthat has shaped our own
(04:19):
relationship to selflessness.
So I'm here to say that it'stime that we all wake up from
the great self sacrificedeception. We have been taught
that self sacrifice is basicallythe opposite of selfishness. And
in fact, it's touted as thisvirtue. So I want you to think
about the mama who has given upher dreams to care for her kids
(04:45):
and make room for her husband'scareer. Or your business
colleague who doesn't know howto say no to their boss and
works countless hours and isburning the candle at both ends,
or the overextend. volunteers atany religious or educational
organization you can think of 1%of the group does 99% of the
(05:09):
work. Or maybe this one soundsfamiliar to you. So a friend
pings you because they needhelp. And you say to yourself,
okay, this is the last time andthen they're going to have to
figure something else out. Soall of this sounds very familiar
probably. Why? Why is there thisridiculous fear among us that if
(05:30):
we speak up, or we don't serve,that we won't be liked, or
approved of or accepted? And whyis this idea that if we give
more of ourselves in humility,and self sacrifice will be seen
as, quote better? And why do wefind ourselves so afraid of
inconveniencing somebody withour desires, but we have no
(05:54):
problem, inconveniencingourselves and sacrificing our
own needs. So what truly ispeople pleasing? This sort of
disease to please and the mythof toxic selflessness started,
probably in childhood with youwanting and needing to please,
your parents, your teachers,your dentist, the cool kids on
(06:16):
the playground. And from a youngage we learn that pleasing other
people is a good thing.
teenagers who act rebelliouslyget social rejection adults, oh
my gosh, we smile at everybody.
We answer every email, we returnevery phone call, we go to every
work related meeting, and weprioritize other people's needs
(06:36):
before our own. And slowly overtime, it turns into this disease
to please just about everyone inyour universe, whether that's
your partner, or your kids, oryour demanding boss, your self
righteous relatives, codependentfriends, the church, ladies, the
(06:57):
town gossip, doesn't matter whothe list is long and
distinguished. And this tendencyto constantly prioritize other
people's needs, leads to toxicbehavior. So rather than having
time to check in on ourselves,we are always responding to
other people's needs. Andperhaps a little bit of that is
(07:19):
forgivable, right? But when webecome so focused on other
people that we neglect our ownneeds, we become burnout, and
then we're resentful, andunhappy and often depressed. So
before you sort of dismiss thisentire idea, with a, oh, people
pleasing couldn't possibly applyto me, I'm healthy and
(07:39):
confident, and my motivation isgood and pure. Let's talk about
what it really means to behumble, versus being secretly
self obsessed, right? We live ina world where we attach our
identity to what we do, and howmany likes we get for it. So to
be dependent, on other people'sapproval, is to be ego driven,
(08:05):
not selfless. And whether yourealize it or not, your attempts
to do more and be more and givemore and teach more and work
more in love more. Those can allbecome subconscious attempts to
manipulate people into likingyou more. And all of that is
driven by fear, probably throughsome little voice inside your
(08:29):
head that convinces you thatit's a good idea to make another
human or a group of people. Yourultimate approval or disapproval
machine, your God your source.
So you know what that is, thatis the sound of our brain break.
(08:50):
We were getting a little heavythere. While we are changing the
world and living moreoutrageously, we really need to
have fun doing it. So today I amgoing to tell you about my
favorite shows on the New Yorktheater scene that I've recently
seen. I cannot cannot expressenough how much I love the
(09:11):
musical six. I highly encourageyou to see if we can get
tickets. The other one that Ihighly recommend is Hades town,
probably the best show that Ihave seen in many, many moons
and it is well worth going tosee the original cast. My
personal favorite is PatrickPaige who played Hades and he is
(09:34):
currently not performing withthem but we'll be back in
November. And last but certainlynot least, I also want to
recommend the sexy and very,very fun company 14. They are
going to be putting on theirNutcracker rouge soon. And it is
definitely an event you do notwant to miss. So you have a few
(09:58):
ideas for where That you canmaybe celebrate the holidays in
New York. And this is noendorsement other than just a
personal one because Iabsolutely love theater and want
to share that gift with you. Andspeaking of travel and fabulous
places, here is a little bitabout one of my favorite places
(10:20):
on earth. Imagine breathing inthe romance of the city of
lights with a small group offellow goddesses on the same
journey of feminine exploration,and embracing who you are as
outrageous women. Join me in theCity of Light for lady Gray's
outrageous Paris retreat. Formore information, please visit
(10:42):
Paris dot live outrageously.com.
So now let's get back to talkingabout people pleasing. And
remember to stick around for myfive tips about how to shake up
the status quo. people pleasersare often people pleasers,
because they don't think thatthey're worthy. And one of the
(11:03):
most painful things I've heardfrom people pleasers that I work
with is they'll say things likeI don't even know what I want.
Or what if I actually find outthat my dreams aren't
attainable. And the truth isonly you know what's best for
you. But no one will ever seeyour truest potential. If you're
always putting other peoplefirst. Life is tough.
(11:28):
We all have big ideas forourselves, for our families, and
our businesses. But far toooften, they just get put aside
so we can get other people'sstuff done. Instead, it's a
tricky situation. You want tohelp the people in your life and
you certainly want them to likeyou. But when you're trying to
(11:51):
serve people too much, you endup giving your life away. And
when we always prioritizepeople's expectations, at the
expense of our own needs, wesacrifice our vitality, and we
reduce the quality of our lives.
If you truly want to make yourworld better, you start by
taking care of yourself. Nowmore than ever, self care, which
(12:14):
is front of mind for everyone,because of the pandemic is
important to our emotional wellbeing, being kind to yourself,
maybe the only way to preventburnout or depression because no
one can make you happy if youdon't make yourself happy. So
I'm not asking you to give updoing things for other people,
(12:36):
right, especially if that makesyou happy, go for it. I'm just
saying every once in a while,slow down and choose yourself.
For many of the women that Icoach who are more likely to be
in professions that require moregiving than taking service has
become toxic for a lot of them,giving too much and devoting too
(12:58):
much energy, whether that's toyour career or your partner's,
your social network, yourhobbies, your causes, causes
that may not even be your own.
It's a fast track to burnout.
And listen, you've been doingmore than your fair share of the
work you've been trying to makesure everybody's taken care of.
(13:20):
But you've got to start lookingout for yourself. So start by,
you know, learning how to setboundaries for what you will and
won't do. Even if you feel youknow, mean, well. People think
that being nice is the way toeveryone's heart. But it's
actually kind of harmful. Itputs you in this position of not
saying what you really want tosay and it makes you seem like
(13:43):
you don't have boundaries andforces you to make everyone
happy except yourself. startsaying no to people. That seems
pretty basic. It's not easy todo. So I suggest having
alternatives in place before yousay no. And remember that you're
not being selfish by saying no.
(14:04):
Stop always putting other peoplebefore yourself, secure your
oxygen mask first. The other keytakeaway here is to do what you
enjoy. Right? We've beenconditioned to think that we
have to put other people beforeourselves in order to be
successful. But what if you tookthe opposite approach? What if
you gave yourself permission tomake self care your top
(14:27):
priority? You know what if youchose to pursue whatever made
you happy and relentlesslywithout apologizing for it. You
know, making yourself a prioritycan be tough, but giving
yourself permission to do whatyou love is tough too. I think
most people are worried aboutwhat other people will think of
(14:51):
them if they pursue somethingthat isn't expected of them. I'm
not saying this is the rightdecision for everybody but by By
being your own number one fan,you can find happiness within
yourself. When we serve others,at the expense of our own
identity and our wellness, weare serving our ego. When we
(15:16):
serve our ego, we're serving ourshadow. And when we serve our
shadow, we quickly turned toxic,and we buy into the deception of
self sacrifice, being the mostnoble of virtues at the expense
of anything and everything else.
being kind to others is notsomething that should be done
only occasionally, right? Weshould have kindness in our
(15:38):
hearts for everyone. However,that doesn't mean you should
abandon yourself. You're here,because you want to change the
world. You're here. Because deepin your heart, you know that you
can reclaim your energy. ReclaimYour power, realize your dreams
(15:59):
and step into your greatness.
Serving generously. Andexercising kindness should not
require forgetting who you are,and what makes you happy. So
each week, I like to leaveyou with some tips, some
(16:20):
practical things that you canput into action in your own
life, to really begin to livemore outrageously. So today,
we're going to talk about fivethings that you can do to
challenge the status quo, andlive a more fulfilled life. The
first one is quit doing whateverybody else is doing. People
have all kinds of jobs, andthey're involved in all kinds of
(16:43):
activities, and not all of thoseare right for you. So by
focusing less on what everybodyelse does, and more on what you
want, you're going to feel muchhappier. My second suggestion is
to stand out more, wouldn't yourather take a chance on being
seen for who you are in all ofyour magnificent eccentric
glory. The beautiful thing aboutletting go of the idea of
(17:05):
fitting in as you no longer arestuck as a follower. It is a lot
more fun being a trendsetteranyway, a third way to shake up
the status quo is to quitthinking that you can buy your
way to happiness or earn yourway to happiness. When we're not
happy. We start buryingourselves in stuff and
activities, thinking this willsomehow make up for it. The
(17:27):
harsh truth, all the new TVs,fancy cars, exotic vacations,
and toxic selflessness is nevergoing to make you feel any more
fulfilled. Doing what you hateto get ahead is always going to
be a soul suck. And fourth, youprobably need to start trusting
yourself more. You don't needeverybody else to tell you what
(17:49):
to do. You already have prettysolid instincts. So do what
feels right, honor your moralcode, and you can find you're a
lot happier for it. And thenlastly, take more chances.
playing it safe is one of themost significant ways we lock
ourselves into the status quo.
(18:09):
And unfortunately, this is howyou also keep from bettering
yourself. So if you want yourlife to change, you're going to
have to take a chance on doingsomething different.
That was awesome today. Thankseverybody for joining me. Let's
(18:33):
make a difference. Let's changethe world together. Let's live
more outrageously. please get intouch with me email me visit WWW
dot live outrageously.com tosubscribe so you don't miss any
of our future episodes. And nowbecause I absolutely love my new
(18:54):
background music. We're gonnadance it out. Go be outrageous,
you lovely humans.
(19:18):
Dance it out.
Hello, you're lovelyhumans. Welcome to the live
outrageously with Lady grayPodcast. I am your hostess, Lady
gray. And we're here to talkabout living outside the box,
breaking down barriers, thinkingdifferently and making a bigger
impact on the world. If youwould like to be part of a group
of other outrageous humanbeings, please feel free to join
(00:33):
the League of outrageous womenon Facebook, a group of over 500
women from all around the world,or find us on clubhouse every
Thursday for coffee talk, andevery Sunday for Girl Talk with
Lady gray. I would really loveto connect with you and get to
know you better. So I hope thatyou'll join us.
(00:58):
Well, welcome back to season twoof live outrageously.
I'm so glad that you're here.
And I thought I would just takea quick second. And thank
everybody for all of thefeedback after our first season,
you asked for more solo shows.
And so this season will be moreof a mix of solo episodes, and
(01:23):
interview shows with guests, Iwant to really laser focus on
helping you become a worldchanger. So I have a great show
for you. Today we are talkingabout the myth of toxic
selflessness and peoplepleasing. One thing that I see a
(01:43):
lot of time and time again istoxic selflessness when we put
other people's needs before ourown without getting anything in
return from it. And it's notjust harmful for us, but also
for the people around us thatare taking advantage of our good
nature. Later on in the program,we will take a little brain
break. And I'll share some of myfavorite things with you,
(02:06):
including some of thespectacular events that are
happening as Broadway opens backup. And I hope you'll stick
around because later on in theprogram, I'm going to share with
you five tips for shaking up thestatus quo and having a more
fulfilling life. So stick aroundto the end of the program for
that. And I think we'll closetoday out with a little dance
(02:29):
party. Today we're talking aboutpeople pleasing and toxic
selflessness. A recent studyfound that over giving is
becoming more common, people aretaking on way too much
responsibility. And they'refinding that they're not able to
say no when they need to becauseof the guilt associated with it.
(02:50):
This can lead to toxicselflessness and people pleasing
behaviors, which can be harmfulin the long run. selflessness
and self sacrifice has been madeoverly noble in our society. So
much so that people oftenconsider it their highest goal.
And they end up completelylosing sight of their life
(03:13):
purpose, and even their destinywhen caring for other people.
Please don't misunderstandservice and giving to other
people at its root is abeautiful thing. And it's
important. I shaped my entirelife around helping other people
and have been at the helm ofmany, many organizations that
(03:35):
ministered to people and helpedthe poor and reached out to
single moms and the elderly andprison ministries and all kinds
of different projects. So at itsroot again, giving and kindness
and charity and goodness are allhealthy behaviors. It's when
(03:56):
they take a turn and becomeunhealthy because they have a
codependent nature that we haveto start looking at whether or
not they've become toxic. Andtoday we're taking a honest look
at our lives, and how we'veinteracted with society and the
other people around us, and howthat has shaped our own
(04:19):
relationship to selflessness.
So I'm here to say that it'stime that we all wake up from
the great self sacrificedeception. We have been taught
that self sacrifice is basicallythe opposite of selfishness. And
in fact, it's touted as thisvirtue. So I want you to think
about the mama who has given upher dreams to care for her kids
(04:45):
and make room for her husband'scareer. Or your business
colleague who doesn't know howto say no to their boss and
works countless hours and isburning the candle at both ends,
or the overextend. volunteers atany religious or educational
organization you can think of 1%of the group does 99% of the
(05:09):
work. Or maybe this one soundsfamiliar to you. So a friend
pings you because they needhelp. And you say to yourself,
okay, this is the last time andthen they're going to have to
figure something else out. Soall of this sounds very familiar
probably. Why? Why is there thisridiculous fear among us that if
(05:30):
we speak up, or we don't serve,that we won't be liked, or
approved of or accepted? And whyis this idea that if we give
more of ourselves in humility,and self sacrifice will be seen
as, quote better? And why do wefind ourselves so afraid of
inconveniencing somebody withour desires, but we have no
(05:54):
problem, inconveniencingourselves and sacrificing our
own needs. So what truly ispeople pleasing? This sort of
disease to please and the mythof toxic selflessness started,
probably in childhood with youwanting and needing to please,
your parents, your teachers,your dentist, the cool kids on
(06:16):
the playground. And from a youngage we learn that pleasing other
people is a good thing.
teenagers who act rebelliouslyget social rejection adults, oh
my gosh, we smile at everybody.
We answer every email, we returnevery phone call, we go to every
work related meeting, and weprioritize other people's needs
(06:36):
before our own. And slowly overtime, it turns into this disease
to please just about everyone inyour universe, whether that's
your partner, or your kids, oryour demanding boss, your self
righteous relatives, codependentfriends, the church, ladies, the
(06:57):
town gossip, doesn't matter whothe list is long and
distinguished. And this tendencyto constantly prioritize other
people's needs, leads to toxicbehavior. So rather than having
time to check in on ourselves,we are always responding to
other people's needs. Andperhaps a little bit of that is
(07:19):
forgivable, right? But when webecome so focused on other
people that we neglect our ownneeds, we become burnout, and
then we're resentful, andunhappy and often depressed. So
before you sort of dismiss thisentire idea, with a, oh, people
pleasing couldn't possibly applyto me, I'm healthy and
(07:39):
confident, and my motivation isgood and pure. Let's talk about
what it really means to behumble, versus being secretly
self obsessed, right? We live ina world where we attach our
identity to what we do, and howmany likes we get for it. So to
be dependent, on other people'sapproval, is to be ego driven,
(08:05):
not selfless. And whether yourealize it or not, your attempts
to do more and be more and givemore and teach more and work
more in love more. Those can allbecome subconscious attempts to
manipulate people into likingyou more. And all of that is
driven by fear, probably throughsome little voice inside your
(08:29):
head that convinces you thatit's a good idea to make another
human or a group of people. Yourultimate approval or disapproval
machine, your God your source.
So you know what that is, thatis the sound of our brain break.
(08:50):
We were getting a little heavythere. While we are changing the
world and living moreoutrageously, we really need to
have fun doing it. So today I amgoing to tell you about my
favorite shows on the New Yorktheater scene that I've recently
seen. I cannot cannot expressenough how much I love the
(09:11):
musical six. I highly encourageyou to see if we can get
tickets. The other one that Ihighly recommend is Hades town,
probably the best show that Ihave seen in many, many moons
and it is well worth going tosee the original cast. My
personal favorite is PatrickPaige who played Hades and he is
(09:34):
currently not performing withthem but we'll be back in
November. And last but certainlynot least, I also want to
recommend the sexy and very,very fun company 14. They are
going to be putting on theirNutcracker rouge soon. And it is
definitely an event you do notwant to miss. So you have a few
(09:58):
ideas for where That you canmaybe celebrate the holidays in
New York. And this is noendorsement other than just a
personal one because Iabsolutely love theater and want
to share that gift with you. Andspeaking of travel and fabulous
places, here is a little bitabout one of my favorite places
(10:20):
on earth. Imagine breathing inthe romance of the city of
lights with a small group offellow goddesses on the same
journey of feminine exploration,and embracing who you are as
outrageous women. Join me in theCity of Light for lady Gray's
outrageous Paris retreat. Formore information, please visit
(10:42):
Paris dot live outrageously.com.
So now let's get back to talkingabout people pleasing. And
remember to stick around for myfive tips about how to shake up
the status quo. people pleasersare often people pleasers,
because they don't think thatthey're worthy. And one of the
(11:03):
most painful things I've heardfrom people pleasers that I work
with is they'll say things likeI don't even know what I want.
Or what if I actually find outthat my dreams aren't
attainable. And the truth isonly you know what's best for
you. But no one will ever seeyour truest potential. If you're
always putting other peoplefirst. Life is tough.
(11:28):
We all have big ideas forourselves, for our families, and
our businesses. But far toooften, they just get put aside
so we can get other people'sstuff done. Instead, it's a
tricky situation. You want tohelp the people in your life and
you certainly want them to likeyou. But when you're trying to
(11:51):
serve people too much, you endup giving your life away. And
when we always prioritizepeople's expectations, at the
expense of our own needs, wesacrifice our vitality, and we
reduce the quality of our lives.
If you truly want to make yourworld better, you start by
taking care of yourself. Nowmore than ever, self care, which
(12:14):
is front of mind for everyone,because of the pandemic is
important to our emotional wellbeing, being kind to yourself,
maybe the only way to preventburnout or depression because no
one can make you happy if youdon't make yourself happy. So
I'm not asking you to give updoing things for other people,
(12:36):
right, especially if that makesyou happy, go for it. I'm just
saying every once in a while,slow down and choose yourself.
For many of the women that Icoach who are more likely to be
in professions that require moregiving than taking service has
become toxic for a lot of them,giving too much and devoting too
(12:58):
much energy, whether that's toyour career or your partner's,
your social network, yourhobbies, your causes, causes
that may not even be your own.
It's a fast track to burnout.
And listen, you've been doingmore than your fair share of the
work you've been trying to makesure everybody's taken care of.
(13:20):
But you've got to start lookingout for yourself. So start by,
you know, learning how to setboundaries for what you will and
won't do. Even if you feel youknow, mean, well. People think
that being nice is the way toeveryone's heart. But it's
actually kind of harmful. Itputs you in this position of not
saying what you really want tosay and it makes you seem like
(13:43):
you don't have boundaries andforces you to make everyone
happy except yourself. startsaying no to people. That seems
pretty basic. It's not easy todo. So I suggest having
alternatives in place before yousay no. And remember that you're
not being selfish by saying no.
(14:04):
Stop always putting other peoplebefore yourself, secure your
oxygen mask first. The other keytakeaway here is to do what you
enjoy. Right? We've beenconditioned to think that we
have to put other people beforeourselves in order to be
successful. But what if you tookthe opposite approach? What if
you gave yourself permission tomake self care your top
(14:27):
priority? You know what if youchose to pursue whatever made
you happy and relentlesslywithout apologizing for it. You
know, making yourself a prioritycan be tough, but giving
yourself permission to do whatyou love is tough too. I think
most people are worried aboutwhat other people will think of
(14:51):
them if they pursue somethingthat isn't expected of them. I'm
not saying this is the rightdecision for everybody but by By
being your own number one fan,you can find happiness within
yourself. When we serve others,at the expense of our own
identity and our wellness, weare serving our ego. When we
(15:16):
serve our ego, we're serving ourshadow. And when we serve our
shadow, we quickly turned toxic,and we buy into the deception of
self sacrifice, being the mostnoble of virtues at the expense
of anything and everything else.
being kind to others is notsomething that should be done
only occasionally, right? Weshould have kindness in our
(15:38):
hearts for everyone. However,that doesn't mean you should
abandon yourself. You're here,because you want to change the
world. You're here. Because deepin your heart, you know that you
can reclaim your energy. ReclaimYour power, realize your dreams
(15:59):
and step into your greatness.
Serving generously. Andexercising kindness should not
require forgetting who you are,and what makes you happy. So
each week, I like to leaveyou with some tips, some
(16:20):
practical things that you canput into action in your own
life, to really begin to livemore outrageously. So today,
we're going to talk about fivethings that you can do to
challenge the status quo, andlive a more fulfilled life. The
first one is quit doing whateverybody else is doing. People
have all kinds of jobs, andthey're involved in all kinds of
(16:43):
activities, and not all of thoseare right for you. So by
focusing less on what everybodyelse does, and more on what you
want, you're going to feel muchhappier. My second suggestion is
to stand out more, wouldn't yourather take a chance on being
seen for who you are in all ofyour magnificent eccentric
glory. The beautiful thing aboutletting go of the idea of
(17:05):
fitting in as you no longer arestuck as a follower. It is a lot
more fun being a trendsetteranyway, a third way to shake up
the status quo is to quitthinking that you can buy your
way to happiness or earn yourway to happiness. When we're not
happy. We start buryingourselves in stuff and
activities, thinking this willsomehow make up for it. The
(17:27):
harsh truth, all the new TVs,fancy cars, exotic vacations,
and toxic selflessness is nevergoing to make you feel any more
fulfilled. Doing what you hateto get ahead is always going to
be a soul suck. And fourth, youprobably need to start trusting
yourself more. You don't needeverybody else to tell you what
(17:49):
to do. You already have prettysolid instincts. So do what
feels right, honor your moralcode, and you can find you're a
lot happier for it. And thenlastly, take more chances.
playing it safe is one of themost significant ways we lock
ourselves into the status quo.
(18:09):
And unfortunately, this is howyou also keep from bettering
yourself. So if you want yourlife to change, you're going to
have to take a chance on doingsomething different.
That was awesome today. Thankseverybody for joining me. Let's
(18:33):
make a difference. Let's changethe world together. Let's live
more outrageously. please get intouch with me email me visit WWW
dot live outrageously.com tosubscribe so you don't miss any
of our future episodes. And nowbecause I absolutely love my new
(18:54):
background music. We're gonnadance it out. Go be outrageous,
you lovely humans.
(19:18):
Dance it out.
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